Oh my god, as believable as Mrs. Doubtfire and almost as sexy.
Welcome everybody, it's the Craft Beer Republic. Thanks for drink- wow, thanks for drinking, thanks for joining.
It's already started. It's already begun. I am Greg, sitting across from me is the hottest mustache in all of Midwest, and that is Flex.
You know, mustaches are super underrated, and I think everybody should have one at least two months out of the year. Two months? Why two months? Just give enough time for people to respect and acknowledge the stache. So basically like once everybody's seen it, you can shave it off?
Well, once everybody's like okay with it. Oh, okay. And then when you finally shave it off, then everybody starts questioning where did the mustache go?
Once you convince your wife not to try and divorce you over it, then it's time to shave it.
And it doesn't even have to be a good one. You know, one time in life, my wife said she would never have sex with me when I had a mustache. Let me just tell you, I've proved that wrong.
At least once. At least once. And never again.
Yeah, so, girl mustaches. Yeah, wives love it.
2024, girl mustache. Yeah, break and flex, 24. We got staches. Who wants a mustache ride? We would so win. We absolutely would. And bringing up the campaign trail is our campaign manager and fitness guru, that is
Scott. Okay, I'm up. I'm up. Okay. Please wake up. No mustache for you though.
No, no.
We'll work on it.
My wife told me one time that she would never have sex with me.
End of sentence. That was right before the wedding. Here they are. Nailed it, but not literally. And she doesn't like. She's a woman of her word. Yeah, she is. Thank you all for hanging.
Thanks for listening. Don't forget craftbeerrepublic.com, at craftbeerrepublic, at flexmeabeer, underscores in between. And as we discovered last week, Scott's somewhere on the grams. Good luck finding him. Maybe like a free sticker to whoever finds him first or something. I can't even find myself.
Yeah. So if you find me, let me know. Yeah.
Let him know if you find his account. I'm sure his password's like password123 or something. Oh, that's right. There you go. There.
That sounds familiar. We're halfway there.
I was hitting 123 password, but I didn't see the way around.
You fucked up again. And thanks for our top listing city of last week, which was Moravia, New York. I don't know where that is, but hi, Moravia, New York.
Maybe we'll visit. Maybe.
Make it part of our world tour?
Yeah. Stop in Moravia on our way to Finland? I don't know. I was just going to say, it's Finland or bust.
Yeah, exactly. Maybe the bus can stop in Moravia before it drives across the Atlantic. I think you could do that. Yeah. I don't see why not. All right. Lots to get to tonight. We have got some beers to drink. We've got free beer to talk about, the fastest growing brewery, and a guy who got so drunk,
he forgot he had a car and gave it to a stranger.
You know, one time I got so drunk that I was leaving a party to go meet my wife before she was my wife, and I put the key in the door back when keys still unlock doors. That was a long time ago. And it wasn't unlocking, and I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on until I realized,
Hey, idiot, this isn't your fucking car.
Did you then drive home?
I mean, so like, long story short, the party I was at was three minutes from my house, which was essentially like four streets from my house. There's just a stoplight in between that, you know, made it seem longer.
And then my buddy met me at my house and drove me downtown. And fun times were had after that.
So more drinking happened. Oh, oh yeah. Yeah. Fantastic.
I was 21. That was a long time ago. Sounds like you needed it, though. Definitely. Yeah. Rough time in the old flexi life. Rough time. That was a gold star night.
Okay. Well, speaking of flexi drinking, let's see what it is that flexi is drinking.
In a world where craft beer is king, a world where muscles are bigger than growlers, only one tongue can guide us. One man, one tongue, one tongue jobber. In this world, we must find out what is flexi drinking.
You know, I already miss like the slowed down suspenseful version.
Oh, you got mad at me last time I played it.
I didn't get mad. It's just so ridiculous. It's like- Almost a minute. You're mad, but it's so fucking funny and you just want it to get to the point, but it's just taking so long.
You look thirsty. I didn't want to play it.
It's brilliant. Well, anyway, today I picked up some Maplewood Brewing. They're like out of close to Chicago. I don't know where exactly.
No, no, it is Chicago. I'm a liar.
It's so close, it's in. Yeah.
Been there. So this is Sidewalk Surfer, a double India pale ale, and it's an 8% ABV.
Untapped has it rated at a 3.98 out of 2.7 thousand rating. So let's bump that up. Let's get that to an even four, I think. And pretty easy description here. Sidewalk Surfer, which I've already told you. India pale ale, which I already told you.
8% ABV again, which I already told you. Yeah. And it goes on to say it is a West Coast style IPA brewed with hand-selected strata mosaic and Chinook hops. Super peachy, resinous, and tropical.
Sounds peachy. At Peachy Keen is my empty beer can full on my laptop. Don't pull a Dan. It says it's super peachy. Let's find out. Dig in. Okay, on the nose it's super peachy. I'm not even lying.
You stick your schnoz right in there. It's like the schnozberries taste like schnozberries. This is 100% peachy on the aroma. And like candied peaches too. This is delicious. So now we warm up.
And we dive in. I picture that as like instead of the NBC do do do, it's just you.
That's pretty good. Dude, this beer doesn't lie. Super peachy. I don't even taste tropical and I don't even care to. It is like 100% peachy, resin, West Coast.
It's got a little bit of bitterness, a little bit of bitterness to it. But this is like top notch, top shelf, West Coast IPA. I would drink. Oh yeah, can we see the, in my cool Sub-Zero glass?
Yeah, you can see my hand through it. I can. That's wild. Well, that's not your hand. You're sick. But no, this is, I love Maplewood. I don't buy them enough because they don't come around as much as you think a Chicago brewery would.
But I found these at another grocery retailer in the area. And I said, you know what? Maplewood puts out some really good shit and I'm going to trust myself on this one. And like I said, top shelf, man.
Nice. Sounds delicious. And it fit the algorithm?
Oh, 100%. I mean, this can art, you can't, I don't know if you can really see in the M. Because it's kind of holographic. But it's like blue and light blue holographic palm trees for like West Coast-y. And like you guys have palm trees there, right?
One or two. Yeah, I've never been there. And then just the color combination. It's like this swirly, whirly color concept with some tan background. Oh, just great. They do some really, really, really great stuff.
I love everyone's concept of like West Coast. It's like we got palm trees and we put avocado on everything. Avocado never crosses my mind with West Coast. Oh, anytime you order anything that says California, like California blah, blah, blah sandwich or burger or anything. It's avocado. And for some reason, they put fucking sprouts, like the little bean sprouts on it.
Well, those are good. But what about that is California? I don't order anything with fucking sprouts. Like that's nowhere to be found except for on things labeled California.
Okay, when I think California, I think beach, sun, earthquakes. In that order? I mean, that's like the first three things that cross my mind, right? And like a shit ton of traffic. Everybody knows about like the California traffic.
So if I say Wisconsin to you, first things that cross your mind? Don't you know? Okay. The accent. Okay. Drunk people. Yeah, okay.
And cheese.
You got me in a box. Snow's the first thing that crosses my mind when you say Wisconsin. Oh, snow? Okay.
I guess I could have said snow, yeah.
You both have me in a box. Do we nail it? Yeah, nailed it pretty hard.
Yeah, I think traffic's our number one quality in Southern California. Yeah, it's gotta be.
Nailed me so hard, I think I need a safe word. Pineapple. It's a Wyawega. That's a hard safe word. Well, it's a city, they do cheese.
Oh, okay. It could be Wyawega. Yeah, you just like saying that word. I do. Makes me feel good about myself. Speaking of California, I did a little wakeboarding trip last week. Yeah, you did. First one of the season. You look like a stud. Oh, thanks.
You're welcome. It was a good angle. It was like a good MySpace angle kind of thing. Nah, it was just a good angle.
Like nobody could have taken a bad picture.
Good angle, also good dick weather.
I actually thought about you the other day. I did, I did. I was sitting- It was a good dick weather? It's super weird. I was sitting outside, I had some jeans on, it was like a brisk 63 degrees, right? But it was sunny.
Sunny 63 is way different than cloudy 63.
Absolutely.
And all I felt in my pants was really good dick weather. And I actually thought, wow, Greg should know how good this is right now. Love it.
Is that not weird?
That's super weird. Okay, thank you. I still love it. So anyways, did that, did a bunch of wine tasting and stuff while we were up there at the pastos. A lot of wineries up there, that's what they're known for. It was the same weekend as the Firestone Invitational, and we were not able to get tickets to that because Firestone's stupid with their tickets.
And first of all, they doubled the price of tickets this year. That's dumb. Yeah, I wasn't going to then pay aftermarket prices. Because here's the thing, I'm going to be real honest. Hot take everybody, last year's Firestone Invitational was our first one that we went to. I didn't think it was that amazing.
I think it was fun, good beer. But why the fuck do I want a double barrel aged stout when it's 95 degrees out? Quit bringing your big ass stouts to Firestone Invitational.
Big always stout season.
Not when it's 100 degrees. So it was fun, and we were with fun people. Erica was there, of course, Nick and Nicole, Wiley, all those people were there. But it was just for the hype that had been given to it, it wasn't that great.
So I wasn't going to pay the aftermarket price. I thought Loggerville was much better. I thought Loggerville was a great festival. Big Dick Nick did tell me afterwards that this year was much better, way less stouts than last year. So anyways, they were doing that, we were wakeboarding. Which meant on the way home we stopped by, there it is now.
You love that place. Oh, it's so good. You should stop there more often. Yeah, I'd like to. A little far away. I feel that. Yeah, we're going back in a couple weeks, so maybe we can stop again. Maybe. Maybe definitely.
Maybe daddy. Maybe daddy, always daddy. Anybody do any good beer research lately? I have not, besides dinner does not exist. Has anybody gone out of the house?
Aside from last week when I stopped at the old mall pub before the show. The mall pub, yeah. God, we sound old. I know.
Can we leave the house?
No, not really. You know what, for me, with the summer it's rough with the kids not being in school. It's like my free time is at an all-time low. Yeah. And just hard to make it out.
Yeah, we've had some in-laws in town. Ugh. Very little beer research. Had to cancel a couple of trivia nights with Deb O'Brien just because of work and stuff.
Can't win second place again. Can't battle for second. Yeah, that's a rough one, man. Yeah, maybe this week. We'll see. It's a shitty feeling.
Ugh, second place.
Ugh, can't get to you. Slipped my clutches again.
Oh, sudden death for second place. Wow. It's like the best feeling.
That third place team is so happy you guys didn't show up.
Finally, we got second. Right now, they're the ones that are just like, second place.
Now we know how high they were riding.
You know, the Silicon Valley nerds is like the first place team everywhere they go.
Silicon Valley nerds? I don't know.
Isn't that where all the nerds were?
Oh, I thought that was some team name or something. I was like, what? I'm sure it is. That's true. Probably, yeah. I think we talked about it with Deb that some of the teams had team shirts on and stuff while we were there, right?
Yeah, those are really, really lame people.
Yeah, like get a hobby or just drink or something. I don't know. Weird.
I don't know. Just, what do you, okay, if you're so good at trivia, what are you doing in your free time?
That's what I want to know. What's your job? You must not have a job.
Right, like when, if you were an average trivia team and you win one night, it's like the stars aligned. Right. That's how we felt in second place. Went your way and it's like, it equals one of the best nights ever. But if you're just somebody who constantly reads shit, researches shit, looks shit up,
get a hobby.
Yeah. Evaluate your life or something.
Boy, you got a bunch of free time. You should start studying that one. I should.
I forget stuff so fast. Yeah.
Could you imagine Scott being a one man trivia team? Oh, man. Just like learning everything the world has to offer. Just trivia team name. Scott. Scott.
Followed by Scott. Scotty want chocolate? Scotty no. Or it could be. There it is.
After he wins.
Can you imagine him walking up to the like the fucking trivia master runner and just being like, hey, here's this audio clip. So when I win, make sure you play this. And they're just like, what the fuck?
And then he beats everybody like, I don't know, 76 to 20, whatever. Sure. Scores and trivia. And you just hear that I would fucking die.
Well, my team carries me out on my Walker. Yeah.
I did it again. The crowd is just so enthralled by your knowledge that they just hoist you up.
You should play that song at work when you leave work. Thank you, Scott.
If I worked, I would do that. They usually thank me for leaving anyway.
It's about time, Scott. Please get the fuck out of here, Scott.
Actually gets an answer wrong. Scotty doesn't know. Monday trivia.
Sure. Start studying. It's not trivia. I lived it. It's not history. That's just being a kid.
Yeah, that's just my life. I mean, I was lucky enough when I went to school, they didn't have history yet.
Still writing it. Yeah. Yeah. That's been nice. One less study. I hate history.
We're going to have a history test today. What happened yesterday?
Well, I wrote on these stone tablets. Yeah.
Invented fire yesterday. That was pretty fucking cool. Pretty cool.
My cousin died of dysentery. I don't know. Whatever.
My brother invented the wheel. He said it was revolutionary. I told him it was bullshit. It'll never work, you idiot.
No one's going to adopt that shit. Nobody wants that stupid thing. All it does is roll. You need this square thing right here to get around.
Oh, God. Yeah. Caveman Scott was a genius.
Caveman Scott.
Oh, dear. All right. So, a couple of stories. First, I pulled this one up for Big Dick Nick and myself because we talk about this all the time. Finally, we've been vindicated. It's, can drowsy driving be compared to drunk driving?
We are tired all the fucking time. I believe 100%.
Yes.
Yeah, we constantly talk about how being super tired can be definitely more dangerous than being a little drunk. So, this study shows that after being awake for 18 hours, reaction time, multitasking, and eye-hand coordination are comparable to someone who has a blood alcohol content of 0.05%.
0.5%? 0.05% to just under legal. This increases to 0.08, the legal limit, after being awake for 20 hours. And after being awake for a full 24 hours, the impairment jumps up to the comparable of 0.1%, so more than drunk.
I'm shocked it's not higher. Yeah, me too. Because I used to not necessarily be up for 18 hours, but I'd only get like three, four hours of sleep because I was working the morning shift. And man, driving home after nine hours or whatever, I was like, ah.
Well, and I used to work third shift. Now, this was some odd years ago, 13, 14, 15 years ago. And trying, like, no matter how long you work third shift, your body chemistry never gets used to it. No.
So, like, you can sleep eight hours from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m., wake up, you know, do whatever for half an hour, and then head to work. And I had fallen asleep in traffic on multiple occasions after getting like a full, what you would consider a full night's sleep, but because it's out of the norm of your natural
body chemistry, it's so dangerous.
And it's dark out still.
Do you know how many times I fell asleep at the wheel after drinking? Zero. Zero times.
Yeah, same. I've never drank and fallen asleep at the wheel. Not once ever. But I definitely fell asleep at the wheel multiple times driving home at 2 in the afternoon.
Yep. I can concur with that, man. Because I wake up in the morning. Or I'll bring a classic back. I'll cosign that.
Oh, thanks, Dan.
I can remember getting two or three hours of sleep, and one of my jobs was driving. Right.
That was always the best. Yeah. That sucks. Didn't they offer to get out of your car once?
They actually did. I'll try to make this a quick story, but yeah, I was on my way home from driving from LAX. I was supposed to drop, and those that are local know what I'm talking about, but I was dropping one group off in Thousand Oaks and another group in Santa Barbara.
So like an hour and some change drive, then another hour after that. Right.
When I got to Thousand Oaks, everybody got off. And I asked the Santa Barbara people, which is farther north, and I, what are you guys doing? Aren't you going to Santa Barbara? They, yeah, but you're kind of driving a little... They're like trying to be nice about it. They said nothing against you because we know you're tired, but you're really scaring us,
so we're going to get a taxi the rest of the way home.
Did they ever call your company or anything? I did.
Oh, you did?
Because when I called and I said, I'm not going to Santa Barbara, and they asked why, I said, I told them the truth. I said, they said I was driving crazy because I was tired. And their only response was, okay, we'll head back to LAX. Get back to the airport.
She said, but they're full of shit. I'm only drunk. Yeah. I'm not tired at all. Yeah, I feel great. Yeah. I tell you, man, I half fell asleep and kind of fully fell asleep so many times. Two in the afternoon because I'd woken up at three. Shit, I never could get used to that.
No.
Shit, I mean, there was another time I used to coach football, high school football. And for some reason, they had scheduled some non-conference game three and a half hours away, in-state, mind you. And we went for like a full day of freshman coaching, JV coaching, and varsity coaching.
So you wake up early, start your day, drive out there, spend entire day out early, early summer, super warm. And then to finish a varsity football game at like 10.30 and then drive three and a half hours back to Milwaukee. I fell asleep at the wheel multiple times.
No idea how I'm still alive. Oh, yeah. It's bizarre. Drowsy driving is so much more dangerous.
Yeah. Or you have those ones where you sort of like half doze, and all of a sudden you're at your location. You're like, how the fuck did I get here? Yep. I've had plenty of those.
Have you ever had that on the way home from work? Oh, yeah. And they call it, they say it's just like, there's like a technical term for it because you've done it so many times, allegedly, that- It's like muscle memory or something? Yeah. Yeah. It's something like that. But it's also very scary because you're like, I don't remember going through that street
or making that turn.
Yeah. Like you get home, you're like, wait a minute. Yeah, man. I mean, I've done a little bit when I've been drinking too. So many more times when I was tired. So anyways, that was for all you tired people out there. All right, let's make a call to the pen.
He calls to the bullpen for beer.
This one comes by way of Indiana.
What?
You got Indiana beer?
This one's from Zach. You son of a gun. All it's missing is a sweet hat. We are drinking Woven Water Brewing's Rising Depths. It's a hazy IPA, 8.6%, a 416 and untapped.
And they say, yeah, very respectable. They say double blurry IPA brewed with thialized yeast and a blend of American hops. Love the thialized yeast.
I do like thialized yeast. I've had a cold IPA with the thialized yeast. Dude, game changer.
And as you can see, sweet canner. I love their cans.
Yeah, I love how they call their IPAs blurry too and not hazy or like how Pure calls them murky.
Yeah, and Humble C calls them foggy. Foggy, yes, that's right. That is great. So anyways, this very short description. I don't get a ton on the schnauz. Do you get any? Not really.
But I can get some citrus when I taste it, but don't really smell much.
Yeah, not a lot of schnauz. I definitely get the citrus, some orange, maybe a little pineapple. Very nice, smooth mouthfeel. Lexi likey. Mouthfeel daddy. This is a collaboration with Dissolver.
Wolven Water, I say by way of Indiana, that's because Zach sent it to us, but Wolven Water is out of Tampa, Florida. So don't get it twisted.
Or don't get it blurry.
Oh shit. Hey, snap. But yeah, I am definitely a fan of this. He was talking a lot of big game about Wolven Water and they're definitely following through on his promises.
Yeah, the few beers he sent me from there, that was stupid beer, man.
Yeah, this is good stuff. Are you a fan? Yes, definitely. Yeah, that's good. All right, a few news stories to get to. 29 of the top 50 craft breweries recorded volume declines in 2022.
Overall craft remained roughly flat. For the top three, Yingling, Boston Beer, and Sierra Nevada all declined a little bit.
I tell you, I haven't bought any of them in 2022, so that makes sense.
I am right there. Oh, you know, I did buy a little Sierra Nevada. The wife loves the wild little thing.
I might have had Sam Adams Oktoberfest, but I can't remember. Maybe I didn't last year. But not in 23.
You would have had that in 22.
Well, that's what it said, it was 22. Oh, you're right, I'm dumb. Yeah, you're dumb. Yeah. I think the last time I actually had that was 2021.
Oh, okay. Yeah, I haven't had that one in a while. It's good. Oh, I did have Hazy Little Thing this year, or at least that's what they told me at the bar, remember? And they were full of shit and it was clear. I was fucking idiots. I don't know what I drank, but I paid for Hazy Little Thing. I drank clear as fuck Little Thing.
So anyways, ups and downs in the craft beer world. But what I wanted to get to was that microbreweries, taprooms, and brew pubs. Taprooms, so breweries that sell more than 25% of their beer on site and do not offer significant food service.
So your typical taproom. Increased production 9% collectively in 2022. So they were up. And the one that was up the most, Treehouse Brewing. Shocker. Not a huge shock there. But this is what I wanted to get to. The largest taproom, they were considered regional size.
Below regional status, which was up 49% in their production, Topa Topa Brewing in Tarrant, California. No kidding. Wow. Yeah. Look at y'all. Yeah, so I was very excited. So congrats to Jack and the team. I love Topa Brewing. In fact, we interviewed them. I should have pulled what number that interview was, but you can search for it on the website.
Just go to crappyrepo.com, click on podcast, type in Topa Topa, pop up. Zing, zing, ziggity. Exactly. So anyway, a little nerd shit there. But I love Topa, so congrats to those guys. They're having their eight year. They're up 49%. Yeah, that's pretty insane.
That's nuts. Yeah, they're having their, I think it's their eight year anniversary shortly. If it, no, I don't think it's happened yet. I think it's coming soon. Yep, we'll go with that.
I hope they come out with a beer called like up 49%.
That'd be pretty good. I'm kidding.
Like just like an arrow up and then like 49%, that'd be wild.
It's like a stock thing, like the arrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be so good. That'd be pretty good.
You didn't hear from me. Nope. But if you did, I'll take it back.
Are you going to Virginia on any random vacations you don't know of?
Not that I know of. Okay. I can wake up tomorrow morning and be on my way.
Yeah. Well, if you do, I've got some good news for you. I can't wait. Yeah, Bush Gardens is offering free and discounted beer this summer.
Okay, maybe I am. Okay.
Next time the wife surprises you with a vacation, you go, how about Virginia?
Yeah. So it's all expiring?
Most likely. That's okay. Still got alcohol. Williamsburg, Virginia, Bush Gardens allows visitors to cool down this summer with free beer at its Williamsburg Amusement Park. Beginning May 26, members and annual pass holders that are 21 and older can receive a free seven ounce beer per visit to the park.
Seven ounces?
Such a random amount. Wow. Give me a bottle of water at that point.
And all guests can purchase two seven ounce beers for 50 cents each. The complimentary drafts, which include beer from Anheuser-Busch and Coors Brewing Company, will be available from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Pours will be available at Wilkommhaus in the German area of the park through August
17th. So if you're looking for some shit beer at low shit prices, head on over to Bush Gardens.
Seven ounces of beer. I wonder how they're tracking this. Like, could you just get back in line like, hey, I'm here for my first ever free pour.
Yeah, I wonder how they do that. Do you have to have tickets or?
Stamp your face. Scott, walk around the park with a bunch of stamps on his forehead.
I saw the name of that first beer. Maybe they put a chip in the back of your neck like a dog. Just cracking them. Nope. This guy's already had his two seven ounce pours. All two of them. Market seven ounce pours.
I've had 14 ounces, so I'm just hammered.
Got shittered off that Bud Light. Not only are you hammered, you're gay now, too. That's right. Look out.
Now I can do a commercial and everybody will hate me. Yeah, exactly.
They already knew it's fine. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah. We're good.
I won't even notice.
Yeah. We find a way to alienate both sides on this show, don't we?
We do a good job. But mostly the idiots.
Yeah, but hey, idiots. Worry about the real problems. All right. Here are the fastest growing breweries in the US according to Untapped. What does that mean, fastest growing? All right. I'm going to give you two different categories. The first, number one, the highest absolute growth in terms of number of check-ins between 2020 and 2022 with at least 500 check-ins in 2020.
The second category, the highest growth rate during that time frame with a minimum of 500 check-ins. I like time frames instead. I'll give you a time frame. Time frame job.
Oh, is it time to leave?
Yeah. So category number one, in terms of absolute growth, Pheidon's Brewing Company in Colony, New York, took first with a total increase of 105,653 check-ins, nearly doubling the number of check-ins of second place, which was Trippin' Animals Brewing in Florida.
So congrats there. In terms of growth rate, first state brewing company in Middleton, Delaware, took the top spot. I'm in Delaware. We should get you a green screen.
First state brewing saw a whopping 3,191% increase in user check-ins on the app.
Still losing compared to 49%.
Yeah, Topa Topa still rules. Let's go. Fucking losers.
Is that Dominic Toretto?
No, I don't know. It's what all the kids do now. They just say something that's mildly exciting, and then they flex both their arms together and they go, let's go. Like lots of O's? Yeah, yeah.
And it's super, see if I can say like anymore. It's like no emotionless. Real flat. So it's like when you're excited, but you're not. So you're just like, let's go, like that.
Where you're not like actually excited about it. I'm not excited anymore. Well, no. It's what the kids do.
I'm glad you have kids. Somebody around here has to have kids so that we know what's cool these days.
Keep us up to date. Yeah.
I'm hip. I'm with it. Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck.
You're dumb. We put that on every episode. Just Dr. Evil. Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck.
And then finally, drunk. Oh, God, I'm going to get this so wrong. Guru-gram? Nailed it. No, that was perfect.
That's so right. Got it.
I've been practicing. I said it many times before the show started.
Yup, that. Man forgets he has a car, hands it over to a stranger, and takes the metro.
Was this in Florida?
Florida of the far east. No, it's in India. Good Lord. Yeah. Oh, God. Why do they have to say this city so many times? A Guru-gram resident reportedly handed over his car and other valuables to a thief in
an intoxicated condition after consuming alcohol with him inside his own vehicle. Guru-gram resident Amit Prakash, 30, had drinks inside his car on Friday night, but a burglar who managed to join him for drinks stole his car and other things from him.
Can we stop right there? Sure. Please. Pause. You're in your car. Not currently, but. And you're drinking. Hypothetically. Okay, I tend not to do that, but.
And then some stranger pops in your car. Hey, fella. And you're in Guru-gram. Yo. Guru-gram. Can I have some drinks? And you're like, hell yeah. Beer it is? And you give him said drinks.
Right. And then he steals your car.
Yeah, it's pretty shitty.
Isn't that weird? Why are you letting a stranger in your car to drink with you?
I was gonna say, the thievery's not even the weirdest part.
Just letting the guy in the car.
Yeah, or drinking in your car. Like, what? Is that a thing?
Maybe, maybe, I forgot the guy's name, but maybe he had a long day. What was it? Amit. Amit? Yeah. Maybe Amit had a long day. Maybe he did. And he said, today at the office sucked dick.
And then the stranger jumped in. Right. Right, when he said, today sucked dick. Did somebody say, sucked dick? Okay, now it makes sense. You got any beer? Or did you say, Debs dick? Which was it? Debs.
Okay, so it's weird. I just wanna establish that this is weird.
Weirdness has been established. Okay. Amit, who works in a private company on a golf course road, planned to unwind in his car after work, and shortly after, started drinking. He was then joined by a stranger.
So he had a long day.
I think he did, on golf course road. Later, when the victim was in an intoxicated condition. That's not a real place.
Moggy's the 17th of July. That is not a real place.
Runs parallel to Sesame Street. Later, when the victim was in an intoxicated condition, the thief asked him to get out of his car near... Oh, I'm not gonna try. And then drove off, leaving Amit stranded. Amit was forced to use the metro to get to his home. Amit didn't remember the incident again until the next day.
At which point, he went to the Sector 65 police station to lodge a complaint. The police have accused the man of theft under Section 379 of the Indian Penal Code. After finishing his shift, Amit allegedly... Penal?
Amit allegedly went to a BYOB kiosk at the Lake Forest Wine Shop on Golf Course Road. I want more of these kiosks.
Did you know there's two golf course roads in India?
And he's on both of them?
Did you look it up just now? I had to look this shit up. That's fucking crazy.
It's made up. In an intoxicated condition, I paid 20,000 monies. I don't know what this stands for. For one wine bottle that had 2,000 monies as its MRP.
The shop owner, however, returned 18,000 monies in cash. This is part of his police statement. After that, I went to my car and started drinking again. Suddenly, a stranger came and asked me if he too could join me for a few drinks.
I obliged and offered him drinks. He recounted. Recalling the events, he mentioned that he drove along with the stranger until they reached... Location. Astonishingly, upon arriving... At said location, Amit admitted that he forgot that he was in his own car.
He said that he had done as the stranger had asked and got out of the automobile. He decided to take an auto rickshaw to the HUDA City Center Metro Station... From there, in order to get back into his house. Amit, however, was unable to recall any specifics of the stranger.
Gurugurum police spokesperson... Oh, fuck.
That does sound a lot like my old Uber days.
A little bit. This guy said the efforts are being made to study the CCTV footage... In an effort to identify the persons involved.
Dude, there's sectors in India. That's crazy.
That sounds very like future movie stuff. Sector 9.
And then the guy took a hundred monies from me.
Monies, dude. That was so good.
What's their system there?
I don't know. System currency? Did you say currency?
Currency? Monies works better though.
I don't know. Let's see. Currency in India is a rupee. I was gonna say rupee, but I didn't want to sound like a dick.
I said ruby. That was not quite correct. No. Those are gemstones. Yeah. Well, I got through that one, guys. Dude, that was wild.
Wild ride for a meet. Monies and golf course roads. Which, if anybody is curious, there are two in India. Don't get them mixed up. Are they near each other? No, they're like super far away. One's towards the tip, like the fin.
You know, like India's fin. Right, just the tip. Yeah. There's one towards the tip, but then there's one towards the opposite end of the tip. Got it. The base. Oh, wow. Shame on me. Oops. Yes. The base.
Feels like a great time to end things.
Scott coming in with the zinger.
Yeah, exactly. Any more workout tips for us? I'm off air. Okay. Yeah, we'll take this conversation off air.
He said always measure from the base, not the balls.
Yes, always. And I'll continue the 16-ounce curls.
16-ounce curls, not the 7-ounce beers. No, God. My favorite measuring joke I stole from Adam Corolla. You start at the anus twice around the balls and up the shaft. That's how you measure your dick. You're huge. Yeah, ginormous. Anyways, we're so sorry, everyone.
Hi, Vanessa. Great transition. Talk about measuring dicks. Hi, Vanessa. Love the segue. Yes. Find us at CraftBeerRepublic.com. On the socials, at CraftBeerRepublic, at FlexMeBeer, underscores in between. And you can find Scott. Yep.
Somewhere. Somewhere. If you find him on the grams, I'll send you a sticker. Nobody knows he's... Yeah, gram me and let me know. You'll never see it, but gram us too. Let us know. Mail at CraftBeerRepublic.com. 805-538-BEER.
I think that's everything. I think... Nope. I hope. I hope everyone's staying very well hydrated. And on that note, good night, everybody.
We'll be right back.