Welcome to The Relentless Few. And
so today kicks off an idea.
So we'll see how it goes. Because, you know, everything
I do, I like to think of as a draft and not a final product.
And so this will be. This will definitely be a draft. And my
goal here is to record reality, not content.
So here it is. There's a. There's a
concept that
I stumbled across in reading Martin Heidegger, and
this is. It stuck with me that the. The German word is glassenheit.
And I'll explain in a little bit. And. And you can go look it up
if you want to, but it stuck with me. I read it probably
six months ago and it's just. I've been making little notes and
I've actually got a tab on my. A couple tabs on my computer open to
different references for it. And I just
kept letting it percolate in the background. And
so this is kind of an external
processing of all of that and where I've come
to be with it. And so we'll see if that resonates
with anybody. I'm going to do this all through kind of a lens of.
I'm going to start with my beliefs and then some of my
behaviors and then how I notice the impact and then
awareness. And it isn't really in that order. It actually starts with impact first
and then awareness and then going back and questioning the underlying
belief and then seeing the behavior if you. If it was in that order.
So here goes.
So what this resonated for me. So
Gelassenheit. And it's G E L
A S S E N H E I T
Gelassenheit. And what that really. What it
means is release. And we'll. I'm gonna. I'm gonna
explain a lot more about that because it's not. It's not release from anything. It's.
It is literally release, which
really presents something for me personally, why I'm attracted to it,
because it presents an opportunity for
a different way to show up.
And that is actually why the title of this
recording is another way to show up. And it's really important
for me. I have no idea if it's going to be important or relevant to
anybody else. And part of this is I don't
want to intellectualize and universalize this
as meaning for somebody. Anybody else, because I don't know if it does.
It does for me. And so I'm going to keep everything in the first person
because there is no lesson to be learned here. That's part of
this process. It's not that I'm learning to show up in a way
where there isn't an answer and there isn't a lesson. To me, everything is not
a lesson to be learned. And I can't learn the lesson
because it forces me to jump ahead
when I notice something because I'm immediately trying
to intellectualize it, pull out the lesson and
then learn and then move forward. That's what I'm trying
to stop for myself. And it's really hard.
It's been really challenging. I'm making progress, but
it's really challenging. So anyway, here's where this started for me.
I went back and I looked. I went way, way back.
And so when I'm nine years old, I'm in third
grade and I get an opportunity. I get. I don't
know how it came about selected or volunteered. I don't
really recall that, but I remember we had a President's assembly.
And so I was
tasked with
memorizing a roughly 30 page story
to recite at the President's Day assembly. So that would
have been some, you know, February, mid February. And I remember this
was given. This was, this was. I was, I was given this assignment
sometime in, right around Christmas. So for about 30 to
45 days I had this book. And the name of the story, I remember it
very clearly, was called Marriott Valley Forge. Appropriate
enough for President's Day. Right. So I don't
know, 30 to 45 days. I remember I would read, I would read it
and then recite it at home. So I would spend, you know, I remember my
mom, not so much my dad, but I do remember my mom, you know,
listening and she would have the book and then I would do a couple pages
and then I would, you know, make sure I had that right, and so on
and so forth. So you get the process. So over, you know, 30, 45
days, just, just, just basically rote memorization, just
over and over and over again. Repetition, repetition, repetition. So
time comes, as far as I can remember, I don't, I have a really
positive thought about this. So I think it went well. I have no idea
because, you know, I just, you know, I like everybody else, don't remember history
clearly, but got up in front of the, the, you know,
assembled, you know, all the classes and the
teachers and the students and, and
parents and whoever came and recited this story.
I'm sure there were some hiccups, but for the most part that's what I remember
now. What that, what that triggered in me, if I go back
there, was from that point Forward. I was
always the one with an answer. It really
wasn't anything I ever decided. It was just something that
happened. And I don't ever remember it being
different. That's the interesting part of this for me is
I don't remember it being different. This is just the way it's always
been. So you can imagine if you're nine and that starts and
you get the. I'll just call it the reputation for being the
person that can do things like that. Then, you know, because I
was committed, I wasn't. And I remember what I
remember the feelings. Like I don't remember being anxious. I don't remember being
scared. I just remember being locked in. Like it was fun.
It was fun because I was doing something that nobody
else in my group wanted to or thought they could
do. So I guess that was the fun part for me.
And then it became who I was. Like,
that's how people understood me, as the person who did that.
So then it just got. I just started leaning into it, right? So then it
became a thing and became an identity.
Now if I think about this,
what it satisfied for me was I. It wasn't
because it really wasn't about attention seeking. I didn't want the public
attention for it. What it, what it meant
to me was my value now depended on being admired for what I can
do. And that resonated with me. Like I wanted
other people to admire me for what I was capable
of doing. Not outwardly, not. Not
publicly recognized. I just. I just wanted them, I guess
it just kind of like to be in awe of. Of what I could do.
I like that feeling at that, you know, when I was, you know, 9,
10 years old. And so then that just became what I
sought. Ongoing
now brings me. So, yeah, it's roughly 50
years ago. So I've been doing this for 50 years
in every way, shape or form you could imagine. And.
And so then for the last, you know, dozen years,
doing what I do with facilitating and being a vistage chair and,
and getting up in front of people, that.
That very thing's a strength. It's. It's why people.
That's why people come to me, I guess, because I have answers. Because
I can quickly assimilate information and listen
to them and give them something meaningful.
But it didn't feel the same anymore. It reads as
like competence and professionalism, good at your job. And it's almost
like a currency, you know, it's a currency in that situation, like in a
vistage meeting or in a boardroom with A group of leaders.
It's that, that scenario that, that environment is built to reward what
I do. But it didn't, it wasn't.
It doesn't feel the same way anymore. And, and I don't, to
be quite candid, I just don't want to have to, I don't want to have
to keep being in the room. So now let's go back to Glassenheit.
So this was, this was actually, the original term
was a guy named Meister Eckhart. Now Meister
Eckhart was this person,
I believe, somewhere in the. Let
me, let me tell you,
I have some notes here because I wanted to make sure that
I could give you some details.
And I want to say.
Oh, just bear with me.
Should be right.
Okay, so he lived from about 1260 to
1328 AD and he was
a German Dominican theologian, philosopher and mystic.
All right, so, so there. Now you know, now you know who Meister
Eckhart is. And now it got picked up by Heidegger, which is
where I read it. But Eckhart was a person who
really came up with it. And his had a fairly
religious bent to it. And he said what, he said,
Glassenheit, was that
yourself was emptied. There was no will to dominate
and no will to be regarded in any certain way.
And so that's a tough one
because it can be, you know, it
can feel like you're giving up your edge if you, if you want to do
that, because you're not. The point here is, and I'm still trying to make sense
of this and I've been thinking of, I've been, you know, notes and reading and
all that stuff for about six months now and, and it still is not clear
to me because it's such a foreign concept because, because you're not,
it's not a release from anything. It is a. Just a
releasing of. Not a releasing from.
And that's really hard. It's hard for me to wrap my head around. So
the, the way this showed up for me in behaviors is
that I, I walk
into meetings, I walk into conversations, I walk into anything
in, in the course of what I do for a living.
And I'm, and I'll explain this in a second, I'm awaiting
what's going to happen. Not really waiting. And
awaiting is different than waiting because awaiting
means I've already pre decided what's coming. And I'm kind of
orienting myself around delivering the insight.
And that's different than waiting because waiting is being
open and having like an Attentive readiness.
I haven't predetermined anything. I'm actually in that
moment waiting to see what happens. So if I'm awaiting,
that means I'm awaiting something, right? So there's a something that I'm
awaiting. That's how I spend my time. I spend my time
awaiting. When I'm going into a meeting, when I'm going in anything with a group,
with one person, it's always about, okay, what am I facing? What are my
possible answers? How am I going to add value? And that becomes. The trigger for
me is adding value, right? It's
instinctual for me at every turn because I'm listening for the opportunity
to add value because I have to earn the right to be in the room.
That's my. That's my behavior. My behavior drives. Because my underlying belief
is that I've got to add value to be in the room. That's
my belief which drives all this behavior. So
genuine waiting is like an attentive openness to
what's actually arriving. So there is no predetermined
anything, topic, object, solution,
anything. It's literally being open to what happens in the room.
And so that's what I've been working on
with, I can honestly say
middling success.
So if I'm preparing the answer before I'm in the room,
and I'm kind of managing that moment of delivery and I'm tracking whether it
lands and if it produced, to be honest, it produced
the awe and admiration that I'm seeking, that's not a healthy way
to be. And it's also not helpful. It's not healthy for me. It's
not helpful for other people. And it's. And it's really, you know,
and I'm gonna. There's this other differentiation between
calculative and meditative thinking, which we'll get to in a little bit,
because that kind of calculative mode is I'm treating that
room as something to produce an effect in
rather than something to actually be in. Like, I'm not. I'm
not aware. I'm not. I'm not open in the room at the moment, which is
really what I want. Because there's a peacefulness in this room. And I guess
this is really what led me here, is seeking
peace in my work.
Because what I had convinced myself of was that the
work, the way I did the work,
caused a lot of stress and tension for me. And so I was making
the case in my head for a number of months and going on
a year or two, that this work couldn't be done forever because
of the toll of doing it.
And as I started leaning more into the
reading more existential philosophers and
phenomenology and people that were the founding fathers of
phenomenology, Heidegger being one of the big ones, I ran
across all this and suddenly came to me that there,
there's a different way, and for me, a better way, and hopefully for
other people, a better way to do the work that I do that
doesn't produce stress because there is
another way I can show up. Now, that's
sounds simple, but it's far from easy. So
the impact,
I'm not dwelling in the actual encounter, like the impact
on other people is, yeah, I'm giving people solutions, I'm giving people
answers, I'm giving people insights, whatever you want to call it.
But I'm not sure that's the value. I'm not sure that's the.
It's not what I. It's not what I want to do for.
For 50, you know, let's call it
48, 49 years. It's what I did without
thinking. I never, never even thought about this. I just thought, hey,
this was. This was the value. This is what I do. This is. And when
I ask other people over the years, you know, what value do I bring? It
was always, well, you're very insightful. You can see through. You can cut through all
this. You can. And I get that. But what was I losing in
the process? And what were other people losing in that process?
Because if I'm managing whether I'll be admired
instead of dwelling in the actual encounter, what are, what is everybody in that
encounter losing? That. That's where I wanted to be. This.
To open up a space for people and invite them in
to see what happens. Because when you, when you bring a room together of anywhere
from 15 to 18 people once a month,
to think that the hubris involved, first of all,
in creating an agenda, which I do, and there has to
be, you know, they call it what you want, agenda, intentions, whatever.
But to create an agenda two weeks in advance and then have these, you know,
these people who are leading in organizations who are choosing to lead
show up on that day and then having no way or
having no interest. I guess not. And I don't know if
it's interest but no availability to be open to what's happening in the room that
day. However, those people showed up because they've, you know, they've read the agenda
and whatever. But how are they showing up? What do they need. And
where's the space for that? Where's the space for
taking that one day and making it into a conversation
that's meaningful for everybody in the room instead of
simply adhering to an agenda that may or may not
apply anymore?
So the impact
on an awaited answer isn't the same as a weighted one.
And I don't mean weighted W, e I, G, H, T e D. I
actually mean weighted W, a, I, T e d. So if
I'm giving an answer, and I know most of the folks that I work
with, and I know a lot about their background, I know a lot about their
company, so when I give them an awaited answer, you
know something I've already preloaded, it isn't necessarily bad,
but I may not be completely aware and
awakened to what's in the room at the time.
They may actually get value out of it. But
that's not. There's not truth arising from what's actually present
between me and the people in the room. And that's where
I want to go. That's. That's what I'm. Because there's a peace
in that for me. P, E A C. You know, there's
a. There's a. There's actually a.
And I guess peace is the best word I can come up with. It's just
being at peace with it and being part of what's going on in
the room and being totally open and aware and present
with what's going on in the room seems to me to be a
much more powerful thing than coming up with
answers. And there's a cost of that. The impact.
Going back to the impact, because we talked about beliefs, I talked about some of
my behaviors with the impact. There's a. There's a subtle cost.
Because what I want, you know, what I've been wanting for a long time,
since I was nine years old, is to be admired for my competence, you know,
and it's rewarded by everyone
because no one really has a reason to question it. Because that's why they. That's
why everybody. That's why one of the things that people come for, I guess. And
that's what makes it durable instead of, like, obviously broken, because
it's just part of the. I'm gonna use the term game.
It's part of the agreement.
And this is something. And there's a huge paradox here because I
can't fix it by trying harder to let go of it.
Right? That's the same thing just redirected. So I have
to. That's where we Skip into awareness. And I think
part of this has come up for me and I'm sure when I'm bringing it
up to, to teams that I work with and in meetings, because it's
been something that I've. That I've been hyper aware of lately,
lately, which is being able to slow down and
allow these things to happen. And I think that's
a real issue for us. Wait a minute. There it
was. There it was. Bam. Got it. Okay, so I want you to see what
I just did. I turned. I universalized it, right? That's
what I was going to do. I was going to make a lesson out of
it. I was going to. We were going to learn. We're going to learn. We're
going to learn it. We're going to learn something today. That's not what I meant
to do. So I'm aware of it and I caught it. So I want to
back up. For me, slowing down
is hard just for me. I don't know about anybody else,
but for me it's hard because of back to the
value and wanting to add as much value as possible. And I actually, when
people, when we're in those meetings and people start talking,
the behavior. I'm going to skip back one to behavior
is that when I hear somebody start talking about something that I've heard
them talk about before, I'm already ahead. I'm already awaiting
the opportunity to give the answer
under the guise of listening, which I'm not. Because
the, the pace at which I'm working,
my internal clock, I'm not allowing for that connection to
happen. I'm not allowing myself to truly listen and be
curious because
we've already, I've already jumped ahead and that's the
behavior that doesn't deliver the value,
the real genuine value that could be delivered, I think.
And so the awareness side is the real discipline
in Gelassenheit isn't releasing. It's noticing when
that grip has returned. It's noticing what I just did.
It's noticing when I get the instinct to do it,
when the grip of wanting to be seen as the one who gets
it, who has it, who can cut through and say what
it is. And that's what this, this whole
effort, this whole discussion today is about willing to be seen
differently. Because again, I'm. I'm recording
reality and I'm thinking out loud. I'm not recording
content. I have, I have tons of notes and, and different
things that, that pertain to what we're talking about today, but no content.
Like I Don't have an answer. I don't. I don't have a package where I'm
going to deliver any steps to sense. And I figured it out.
I have not figured it out. I don't think I'm only 10 to
20% into being able to really understand what it means to me,
let alone explaining it to anybody else, because I have no idea if it matters
to anybody else. That to me, that's just hubris.
So I want to dwell in
it, not on it, but I do want to dwell in it. I
want to sit with it. And that's not a
state that I achieve and then carry forward. It's
something I have to stay in moment to moment to be
able to dwell in something and not dwell on it. And that's
another thing that I'm working on and trying to differentiate when one
slips over to the other. And so what
I'm trying to think through is how does this show up? How do I
know if this is how I'm showing up? And it really
will be about noticing
and noticing and then releasing, you know, glass and height. It's.
It's about releasing it when I do notice it and then continuing to notice it
and release it. And I
want. I want insight for people to arise
instead of it being produced. And so that means I have
got to release the grip on whatever happens and
not worrying about if it's impressive or not. And that will be hard.
And you know what? Will I be able to
ever leave a meeting and not feel like
I've been genuinely useful the way that I would
determine useful or productive before
and not admired for it, but
still feel at peace about how I showed up? That will be
the tough thing for me. That's. That's very uncomfortable.
I've been trying. I actually came
up with a little phrase for myself, and this is this. I don't know how
it works for anybody else, but for me, this particular thing started.
Let's see, it's 2026. It started in
2024. I actually came up with this little mantra of
taking up less space. I had this little phrase that I would share that I
wanted to take up less space in all areas of my life, both. I wanted
to be lighter. I wanted to take up less space physically. I wanted to take
up less space emotionally and mentally and cognitively and
metaphorically and whatever other, you know, ecumenically, however you want
to say it, right? It was just about taking up less space. I didn't even
know what it. I look back now, and when I
said That I didn't even know what it meant like I thought I did.
And that was in January of 2024, so
well over two years ago. And I'm still trying to figure it out.
Like, what I thought it meant then is not how I understand it
now. So I just kept at it. And I can look back now and go,
okay, I think this is what I meant back then. And I have
words for it. Like, I knew it was out there, and
I'm still, again, maybe 20% into it, of really, truly
understanding what that means and how that. How I can show up different.
And it's a long man. This stuff takes a while,
much longer than I'd like it to. I'd like to be able to evolve
on demand, if that were a thing, but it
isn't and it shouldn't be. And so that's
where I want to get my. I want to wrap my head around
calculative thinking versus meditative thinking.
Because calculative thinking.
Calculative thinking is how I've thought for, you know, 50 years.
It. It immediately reduces everything to a resource or a
means or a problem to solve, or an insight or a learning or something, right?
It jumps right to it because of the uncomfortableness.
Because when something. When a problem arises, it. It
generates discomfort. And so my first
intuition is to intellectualize it so I can learn from it and then I
can move away from it. And I don't think that's
helpful for me. Sometimes it's okay, but not all the
time because that discomfort is a good indicator. It means
something. And that's what meditative thinking is. It's thinking
without that reflex to use or control or grasp
something, to understand something and then move on and
then learn it. You know, say that I've learned from it because I haven't
learned. Haven't learned from it. I don't even understand it. I can. That can attest
to that by this very thing about, you know, walking around
proclaiming that I want to, you know, take up less space. I had
no idea what that actually meant, and I didn't.
It wasn't done with me. Like the. The thing. Something
happened and I knew it. I could. I could feel it, but
I didn't understand what it was. And I still. Now I'm
closer to actually understanding how far away I am,
if that makes any sense. I haven't.
There's nothing to figure out. That's the other part of this. That's
what releasing is that it becomes. There's nothing
to figure out.
There's
Meister Eckhart, he. He gave this sermon. It
was called Blessed are the Poor in spirit. Now remember, this is, you know,
1200, 1300s, and he talked about,
he gave these radical definitions of the concept. It was a three part structure.
It was wanting nothing, knowing nothing and having nothing.
And there's some radical stuff, I'm sure, back then, and it's
even radical now. For me now, wanting nothing was not
about material things. It was about
not having a self that needs an outcome to complete itself,
which is totally foreign for us in Western culture.
But to him, true poverty meant
releasing wanting altogether, not redirecting
it towards something more noble, but being able to release
wanting altogether. So that was wanting nothing and then
knowing nothing is not. Again, it's not literal ignorance.
What he meant was releasing the self's need to know itself as
devoted, as advancing or making progress.
Because the more I can say, I know I'm becoming more
released or more spiritual or more empty, now introduced a
self that's watching and measuring itself. So real
poverty go back to blessed are the poor. Real poverty doesn't
know itself as poverty. Real poverty doesn't know itself
as poverty because it's released it. And then having nothing.
And this is probably the most radical of the three. It's not about
possessions, not even a place or a where.
But if you have. He what Eckhart. Eckhart's logic was
this. If you have something, if you still have some empty
space you're keeping ready and available, you still have something,
you have the readiness itself, the container, you have the intention.
True poverty means not even holding open a special place.
There's nothing prepared, there's just nothing.
And in that total absence, not the presence of readiness,
but the total absence of. That's where Eckhart, he's a
theologian, says the birth of God actually happens
now. So want nothing, know nothing, have nothing.
And that goes back to that. This is for him, Gelassenheit. It's
release. It's releasement.
So that's where I'm at.
It's an interesting place to be for me.
I feel.
I feel slightly more at peace
the more I start to
internalize what this means and
how it provides me with another way to show up
that does truly align with
how I want to. How I want to serve people,
how I want what I want to offer,
that kind of emptiness. And to me,
that emptiness turns into presence. Because
if all of that judgment and calculative
thinking and awaiting is
gone, then I offer presence
for the other person to step into and
be.
Again, this is the way I've been.
Let's call it 50 years. So
the step one, the awareness, right? Awareness and impact.
I catch myself now, like, I see when I'm gripping for it. I see because
I. I hold on tight to it and I. I see it readily.
And there are a lot of instances where I can. I can release that grip
and be. But, man, that sometimes that.
That pull is tough.
And these are some. I mean, I. I can't tell you how many
times I've read over some of this stuff. And it. I just don't. I mean,
it is not processing like it is some. It is deep to the
point of, you know,
like reading something a dozen times and still struggling
with, trying to truly understand what it said. Which,
by the way, is awesome.
It's a. For me, it's a great use of time
because that's how. That's what I have to do. What I have to do is
show up for people in a way that
aligns with what I believe is
needed. And I've
talked. I've actually written some stuff down about wanting a more
monastic approach to what I do
and being that emptiness,
providing that. That emptiness, which I don't view as a bad thing because
that means I'm fully present because I'm not bringing anything with
me. I've released it all. So I can. I can
listen and I can hear
and I can be curious.
So that's where we're at. That's where
I'm at. Somewhere we're at again. There I went and did it again.
Nothing to learn, no lesson, no conclusion
at all for me. But I'm
in it and I really enjoy it
and it matters to me and
that's why I share it. So I hope
it's been interesting to listen to.
If it has, then stay tuned because at some point
you might hear more about something else and another string that gets
pulled and how this all connects and
how I continue to try to make sense
of the life I'm living. And I hope
you're doing the same for you.
We'll talk again soon. Thanks.