1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,080 Welcome to The Relentless Few. And 2 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:08,400 so today kicks off an idea. 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,360 So we'll see how it goes. Because, you know, everything 4 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,520 I do, I like to think of as a draft and not a final product. 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:20,000 And so this will be. This will definitely be a draft. And my 6 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,640 goal here is to record reality, not content. 7 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,760 So here it is. There's a. There's a 8 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,520 concept that 9 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,720 I stumbled across in reading Martin Heidegger, and 10 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,360 this is. It stuck with me that the. The German word is glassenheit. 11 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,120 And I'll explain in a little bit. And. And you can go look it up 12 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,680 if you want to, but it stuck with me. I read it probably 13 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,320 six months ago and it's just. I've been making little notes and 14 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,800 I've actually got a tab on my. A couple tabs on my computer open to 15 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,040 different references for it. And I just 16 00:00:56,360 --> 00:01:00,200 kept letting it percolate in the background. And 17 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,800 so this is kind of an external 18 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,320 processing of all of that and where I've come 19 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:11,320 to be with it. And so we'll see if that resonates 20 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,840 with anybody. I'm going to do this all through kind of a lens of. 21 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,840 I'm going to start with my beliefs and then some of my 22 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,880 behaviors and then how I notice the impact and then 23 00:01:22,420 --> 00:01:26,180 awareness. And it isn't really in that order. It actually starts with impact first 24 00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:30,380 and then awareness and then going back and questioning the underlying 25 00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:33,620 belief and then seeing the behavior if you. If it was in that order. 26 00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:35,860 So here goes. 27 00:01:38,339 --> 00:01:41,820 So what this resonated for me. So 28 00:01:41,820 --> 00:01:45,620 Gelassenheit. And it's G E L 29 00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:48,780 A S S E N H E I T 30 00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:52,490 Gelassenheit. And what that really. What it 31 00:01:52,490 --> 00:01:56,330 means is release. And we'll. I'm gonna. I'm gonna 32 00:01:56,330 --> 00:02:00,130 explain a lot more about that because it's not. It's not release from anything. It's. 33 00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:03,090 It is literally release, which 34 00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:10,130 really presents something for me personally, why I'm attracted to it, 35 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,490 because it presents an opportunity for 36 00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:17,500 a different way to show up. 37 00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:21,420 And that is actually why the title of this 38 00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:25,460 recording is another way to show up. And it's really important 39 00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:28,340 for me. I have no idea if it's going to be important or relevant to 40 00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:31,980 anybody else. And part of this is I don't 41 00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:35,660 want to intellectualize and universalize this 42 00:02:35,660 --> 00:02:39,180 as meaning for somebody. Anybody else, because I don't know if it does. 43 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,780 It does for me. And so I'm going to keep everything in the first person 44 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:46,900 because there is no lesson to be learned here. That's part of 45 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,740 this process. It's not that I'm learning to show up in a way 46 00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:54,340 where there isn't an answer and there isn't a lesson. To me, everything is not 47 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,820 a lesson to be learned. And I can't learn the lesson 48 00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,940 because it forces me to jump ahead 49 00:03:01,980 --> 00:03:05,540 when I notice something because I'm immediately trying 50 00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:09,260 to intellectualize it, pull out the lesson and 51 00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:13,110 then learn and then move forward. That's what I'm trying 52 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:16,830 to stop for myself. And it's really hard. 53 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:20,990 It's been really challenging. I'm making progress, but 54 00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:24,830 it's really challenging. So anyway, here's where this started for me. 55 00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:28,910 I went back and I looked. I went way, way back. 56 00:03:29,870 --> 00:03:33,670 And so when I'm nine years old, I'm in third 57 00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:37,470 grade and I get an opportunity. I get. I don't 58 00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:41,230 know how it came about selected or volunteered. I don't 59 00:03:41,230 --> 00:03:44,890 really recall that, but I remember we had a President's assembly. 60 00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:47,930 And so I was 61 00:03:48,570 --> 00:03:49,930 tasked with 62 00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:54,970 memorizing a roughly 30 page story 63 00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:59,930 to recite at the President's Day assembly. So that would 64 00:03:59,930 --> 00:04:03,690 have been some, you know, February, mid February. And I remember this 65 00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:07,530 was given. This was, this was. I was, I was given this assignment 66 00:04:07,530 --> 00:04:11,130 sometime in, right around Christmas. So for about 30 to 67 00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:14,610 45 days I had this book. And the name of the story, I remember it 68 00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:18,420 very clearly, was called Marriott Valley Forge. Appropriate 69 00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:22,180 enough for President's Day. Right. So I don't 70 00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:25,980 know, 30 to 45 days. I remember I would read, I would read it 71 00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:29,140 and then recite it at home. So I would spend, you know, I remember my 72 00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:32,740 mom, not so much my dad, but I do remember my mom, you know, 73 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:35,980 listening and she would have the book and then I would do a couple pages 74 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:38,580 and then I would, you know, make sure I had that right, and so on 75 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:42,180 and so forth. So you get the process. So over, you know, 30, 45 76 00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:45,900 days, just, just, just basically rote memorization, just 77 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:49,700 over and over and over again. Repetition, repetition, repetition. So 78 00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:53,060 time comes, as far as I can remember, I don't, I have a really 79 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:57,300 positive thought about this. So I think it went well. I have no idea 80 00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:01,140 because, you know, I just, you know, I like everybody else, don't remember history 81 00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:04,980 clearly, but got up in front of the, the, you know, 82 00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:08,900 assembled, you know, all the classes and the 83 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:12,370 teachers and the students and, and 84 00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:14,690 parents and whoever came and recited this story. 85 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:19,330 I'm sure there were some hiccups, but for the most part that's what I remember 86 00:05:19,810 --> 00:05:23,570 now. What that, what that triggered in me, if I go back 87 00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:27,170 there, was from that point Forward. I was 88 00:05:27,330 --> 00:05:30,890 always the one with an answer. It really 89 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:34,410 wasn't anything I ever decided. It was just something that 90 00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:37,810 happened. And I don't ever remember it being 91 00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:41,900 different. That's the interesting part of this for me is 92 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:45,500 I don't remember it being different. This is just the way it's always 93 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:48,820 been. So you can imagine if you're nine and that starts and 94 00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:52,780 you get the. I'll just call it the reputation for being the 95 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:56,540 person that can do things like that. Then, you know, because I 96 00:05:56,540 --> 00:06:00,140 was committed, I wasn't. And I remember what I 97 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:03,940 remember the feelings. Like I don't remember being anxious. I don't remember being 98 00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:07,680 scared. I just remember being locked in. Like it was fun. 99 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,400 It was fun because I was doing something that nobody 100 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,240 else in my group wanted to or thought they could 101 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,200 do. So I guess that was the fun part for me. 102 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,880 And then it became who I was. Like, 103 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,320 that's how people understood me, as the person who did that. 104 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,200 So then it just got. I just started leaning into it, right? So then it 105 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,040 became a thing and became an identity. 106 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,960 Now if I think about this, 107 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,080 what it satisfied for me was I. It wasn't 108 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:50,240 because it really wasn't about attention seeking. I didn't want the public 109 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:54,120 attention for it. What it, what it meant 110 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,720 to me was my value now depended on being admired for what I can 111 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,520 do. And that resonated with me. Like I wanted 112 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:05,350 other people to admire me for what I was capable 113 00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:09,190 of doing. Not outwardly, not. Not 114 00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:13,350 publicly recognized. I just. I just wanted them, I guess 115 00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:16,790 it just kind of like to be in awe of. Of what I could do. 116 00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:20,696 I like that feeling at that, you know, when I was, you know, 9, 117 00:07:20,764 --> 00:07:24,150 10 years old. And so then that just became what I 118 00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:26,550 sought. Ongoing 119 00:07:27,910 --> 00:07:31,700 now brings me. So, yeah, it's roughly 50 120 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,740 years ago. So I've been doing this for 50 years 121 00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:39,300 in every way, shape or form you could imagine. And. 122 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:42,500 And so then for the last, you know, dozen years, 123 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:47,020 doing what I do with facilitating and being a vistage chair and, 124 00:07:47,020 --> 00:07:50,740 and getting up in front of people, that. 125 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,460 That very thing's a strength. It's. It's why people. 126 00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:58,590 That's why people come to me, I guess, because I have answers. Because 127 00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:02,710 I can quickly assimilate information and listen 128 00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:05,470 to them and give them something meaningful. 129 00:08:06,510 --> 00:08:10,350 But it didn't feel the same anymore. It reads as 130 00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:14,030 like competence and professionalism, good at your job. And it's almost 131 00:08:14,030 --> 00:08:17,830 like a currency, you know, it's a currency in that situation, like in a 132 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,190 vistage meeting or in a boardroom with A group of leaders. 133 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:25,430 It's that, that scenario that, that environment is built to reward what 134 00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:29,190 I do. But it didn't, it wasn't. 135 00:08:29,350 --> 00:08:33,150 It doesn't feel the same way anymore. And, and I don't, to 136 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:35,870 be quite candid, I just don't want to have to, I don't want to have 137 00:08:35,870 --> 00:08:39,590 to keep being in the room. So now let's go back to Glassenheit. 138 00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:43,190 So this was, this was actually, the original term 139 00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:47,120 was a guy named Meister Eckhart. Now Meister 140 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,560 Eckhart was this person, 141 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:54,640 I believe, somewhere in the. Let 142 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,040 me, let me tell you, 143 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,320 I have some notes here because I wanted to make sure that 144 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,680 I could give you some details. 145 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,600 And I want to say. 146 00:09:13,130 --> 00:09:14,810 Oh, just bear with me. 147 00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:19,850 Should be right. 148 00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:25,610 Okay, so he lived from about 1260 to 149 00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:28,970 1328 AD and he was 150 00:09:29,210 --> 00:09:32,970 a German Dominican theologian, philosopher and mystic. 151 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:36,730 All right, so, so there. Now you know, now you know who Meister 152 00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:40,560 Eckhart is. And now it got picked up by Heidegger, which is 153 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:44,400 where I read it. But Eckhart was a person who 154 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,760 really came up with it. And his had a fairly 155 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:52,240 religious bent to it. And he said what, he said, 156 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:55,600 Glassenheit, was that 157 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:59,200 yourself was emptied. There was no will to dominate 158 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:02,800 and no will to be regarded in any certain way. 159 00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:07,450 And so that's a tough one 160 00:10:09,290 --> 00:10:13,010 because it can be, you know, it 161 00:10:13,010 --> 00:10:15,890 can feel like you're giving up your edge if you, if you want to do 162 00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:19,369 that, because you're not. The point here is, and I'm still trying to make sense 163 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:22,650 of this and I've been thinking of, I've been, you know, notes and reading and 164 00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:25,770 all that stuff for about six months now and, and it still is not clear 165 00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:29,470 to me because it's such a foreign concept because, because you're not, 166 00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:32,870 it's not a release from anything. It is a. Just a 167 00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:36,190 releasing of. Not a releasing from. 168 00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:40,350 And that's really hard. It's hard for me to wrap my head around. So 169 00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:44,270 the, the way this showed up for me in behaviors is 170 00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:47,870 that I, I walk 171 00:10:47,870 --> 00:10:51,710 into meetings, I walk into conversations, I walk into anything 172 00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:54,590 in, in the course of what I do for a living. 173 00:10:55,890 --> 00:10:59,570 And I'm, and I'll explain this in a second, I'm awaiting 174 00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:03,410 what's going to happen. Not really waiting. And 175 00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:07,330 awaiting is different than waiting because awaiting 176 00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:10,890 means I've already pre decided what's coming. And I'm kind of 177 00:11:10,890 --> 00:11:14,610 orienting myself around delivering the insight. 178 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:19,650 And that's different than waiting because waiting is being 179 00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:23,090 open and having like an Attentive readiness. 180 00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:27,290 I haven't predetermined anything. I'm actually in that 181 00:11:27,290 --> 00:11:31,010 moment waiting to see what happens. So if I'm awaiting, 182 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:34,690 that means I'm awaiting something, right? So there's a something that I'm 183 00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:38,370 awaiting. That's how I spend my time. I spend my time 184 00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:41,570 awaiting. When I'm going into a meeting, when I'm going in anything with a group, 185 00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:45,770 with one person, it's always about, okay, what am I facing? What are my 186 00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:49,330 possible answers? How am I going to add value? And that becomes. The trigger for 187 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:52,990 me is adding value, right? It's 188 00:11:52,990 --> 00:11:56,790 instinctual for me at every turn because I'm listening for the opportunity 189 00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:59,910 to add value because I have to earn the right to be in the room. 190 00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:03,790 That's my. That's my behavior. My behavior drives. Because my underlying belief 191 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:07,590 is that I've got to add value to be in the room. That's 192 00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:10,550 my belief which drives all this behavior. So 193 00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:14,990 genuine waiting is like an attentive openness to 194 00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:18,700 what's actually arriving. So there is no predetermined 195 00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:22,940 anything, topic, object, solution, 196 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:26,540 anything. It's literally being open to what happens in the room. 197 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,740 And so that's what I've been working on 198 00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:33,980 with, I can honestly say 199 00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:35,900 middling success. 200 00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:42,140 So if I'm preparing the answer before I'm in the room, 201 00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:46,690 and I'm kind of managing that moment of delivery and I'm tracking whether it 202 00:12:46,690 --> 00:12:50,490 lands and if it produced, to be honest, it produced 203 00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:54,330 the awe and admiration that I'm seeking, that's not a healthy way 204 00:12:55,050 --> 00:12:58,810 to be. And it's also not helpful. It's not healthy for me. It's 205 00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:02,650 not helpful for other people. And it's. And it's really, you know, 206 00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:06,090 and I'm gonna. There's this other differentiation between 207 00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:10,490 calculative and meditative thinking, which we'll get to in a little bit, 208 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,880 because that kind of calculative mode is I'm treating that 209 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,480 room as something to produce an effect in 210 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:24,040 rather than something to actually be in. Like, I'm not. I'm 211 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,400 not aware. I'm not. I'm not open in the room at the moment, which is 212 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,280 really what I want. Because there's a peacefulness in this room. And I guess 213 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,480 this is really what led me here, is seeking 214 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,850 peace in my work. 215 00:13:39,130 --> 00:13:42,770 Because what I had convinced myself of was that the 216 00:13:42,770 --> 00:13:45,450 work, the way I did the work, 217 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:50,050 caused a lot of stress and tension for me. And so I was making 218 00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:53,890 the case in my head for a number of months and going on 219 00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:57,610 a year or two, that this work couldn't be done forever because 220 00:13:57,610 --> 00:14:00,490 of the toll of doing it. 221 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:04,760 And as I started leaning more into the 222 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,680 reading more existential philosophers and 223 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:12,480 phenomenology and people that were the founding fathers of 224 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:16,240 phenomenology, Heidegger being one of the big ones, I ran 225 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:19,319 across all this and suddenly came to me that there, 226 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:24,040 there's a different way, and for me, a better way, and hopefully for 227 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,760 other people, a better way to do the work that I do that 228 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,460 doesn't produce stress because there is 229 00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:33,940 another way I can show up. Now, that's 230 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:38,740 sounds simple, but it's far from easy. So 231 00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:39,460 the impact, 232 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:45,940 I'm not dwelling in the actual encounter, like the impact 233 00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:49,700 on other people is, yeah, I'm giving people solutions, I'm giving people 234 00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:53,300 answers, I'm giving people insights, whatever you want to call it. 235 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:57,310 But I'm not sure that's the value. I'm not sure that's the. 236 00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:01,950 It's not what I. It's not what I want to do for. 237 00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:04,990 For 50, you know, let's call it 238 00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:08,910 48, 49 years. It's what I did without 239 00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:12,710 thinking. I never, never even thought about this. I just thought, hey, 240 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:15,510 this was. This was the value. This is what I do. This is. And when 241 00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:18,270 I ask other people over the years, you know, what value do I bring? It 242 00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:21,590 was always, well, you're very insightful. You can see through. You can cut through all 243 00:15:21,590 --> 00:15:25,440 this. You can. And I get that. But what was I losing in 244 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,400 the process? And what were other people losing in that process? 245 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:33,120 Because if I'm managing whether I'll be admired 246 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,960 instead of dwelling in the actual encounter, what are, what is everybody in that 247 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,920 encounter losing? That. That's where I wanted to be. This. 248 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,720 To open up a space for people and invite them in 249 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,560 to see what happens. Because when you, when you bring a room together of anywhere 250 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,600 from 15 to 18 people once a month, 251 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,800 to think that the hubris involved, first of all, 252 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,680 in creating an agenda, which I do, and there has to 253 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,760 be, you know, they call it what you want, agenda, intentions, whatever. 254 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,040 But to create an agenda two weeks in advance and then have these, you know, 255 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,600 these people who are leading in organizations who are choosing to lead 256 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,720 show up on that day and then having no way or 257 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,570 having no interest. I guess not. And I don't know if 258 00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:24,370 it's interest but no availability to be open to what's happening in the room that 259 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:28,210 day. However, those people showed up because they've, you know, they've read the agenda 260 00:16:28,210 --> 00:16:31,970 and whatever. But how are they showing up? What do they need. And 261 00:16:31,970 --> 00:16:35,570 where's the space for that? Where's the space for 262 00:16:35,570 --> 00:16:39,130 taking that one day and making it into a conversation 263 00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:42,650 that's meaningful for everybody in the room instead of 264 00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:46,250 simply adhering to an agenda that may or may not 265 00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:47,210 apply anymore? 266 00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:50,810 So the impact 267 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:58,010 on an awaited answer isn't the same as a weighted one. 268 00:16:58,010 --> 00:17:01,690 And I don't mean weighted W, e I, G, H, T e D. I 269 00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:05,370 actually mean weighted W, a, I, T e d. So if 270 00:17:05,370 --> 00:17:09,130 I'm giving an answer, and I know most of the folks that I work 271 00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:12,290 with, and I know a lot about their background, I know a lot about their 272 00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:16,020 company, so when I give them an awaited answer, you 273 00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:19,260 know something I've already preloaded, it isn't necessarily bad, 274 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:23,340 but I may not be completely aware and 275 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:26,620 awakened to what's in the room at the time. 276 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:32,140 They may actually get value out of it. But 277 00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:36,140 that's not. There's not truth arising from what's actually present 278 00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:40,060 between me and the people in the room. And that's where 279 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:43,820 I want to go. That's. That's what I'm. Because there's a peace 280 00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:47,580 in that for me. P, E A C. You know, there's 281 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,580 a. There's a. There's actually a. 282 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,700 And I guess peace is the best word I can come up with. It's just 283 00:17:56,460 --> 00:18:00,180 being at peace with it and being part of what's going on in 284 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:03,780 the room and being totally open and aware and present 285 00:18:03,780 --> 00:18:07,600 with what's going on in the room seems to me to be a 286 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,000 much more powerful thing than coming up with 287 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,600 answers. And there's a cost of that. The impact. 288 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,680 Going back to the impact, because we talked about beliefs, I talked about some of 289 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:21,160 my behaviors with the impact. There's a. There's a subtle cost. 290 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:27,040 Because what I want, you know, what I've been wanting for a long time, 291 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,840 since I was nine years old, is to be admired for my competence, you know, 292 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,680 and it's rewarded by everyone 293 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,480 because no one really has a reason to question it. Because that's why they. That's 294 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:42,320 why everybody. That's why one of the things that people come for, I guess. And 295 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,080 that's what makes it durable instead of, like, obviously broken, because 296 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,600 it's just part of the. I'm gonna use the term game. 297 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,680 It's part of the agreement. 298 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:57,400 And this is something. And there's a huge paradox here because I 299 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:01,080 can't fix it by trying harder to let go of it. 300 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,000 Right? That's the same thing just redirected. So I have 301 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,800 to. That's where we Skip into awareness. And I think 302 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,680 part of this has come up for me and I'm sure when I'm bringing it 303 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,480 up to, to teams that I work with and in meetings, because it's 304 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,160 been something that I've. That I've been hyper aware of lately, 305 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,720 lately, which is being able to slow down and 306 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,550 allow these things to happen. And I think that's 307 00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:32,310 a real issue for us. Wait a minute. There it 308 00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:35,430 was. There it was. Bam. Got it. Okay, so I want you to see what 309 00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:39,230 I just did. I turned. I universalized it, right? That's 310 00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:40,950 what I was going to do. I was going to make a lesson out of 311 00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,030 it. I was going to. We were going to learn. We're going to learn. We're 312 00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:45,510 going to learn it. We're going to learn something today. That's not what I meant 313 00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:48,790 to do. So I'm aware of it and I caught it. So I want to 314 00:19:48,790 --> 00:19:52,550 back up. For me, slowing down 315 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:55,820 is hard just for me. I don't know about anybody else, 316 00:19:56,380 --> 00:20:00,020 but for me it's hard because of back to the 317 00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:03,820 value and wanting to add as much value as possible. And I actually, when 318 00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:06,700 people, when we're in those meetings and people start talking, 319 00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:10,860 the behavior. I'm going to skip back one to behavior 320 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:15,820 is that when I hear somebody start talking about something that I've heard 321 00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:19,260 them talk about before, I'm already ahead. I'm already awaiting 322 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,800 the opportunity to give the answer 323 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,480 under the guise of listening, which I'm not. Because 324 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:32,320 the, the pace at which I'm working, 325 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:36,360 my internal clock, I'm not allowing for that connection to 326 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,880 happen. I'm not allowing myself to truly listen and be 327 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,320 curious because 328 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,770 we've already, I've already jumped ahead and that's the 329 00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:50,530 behavior that doesn't deliver the value, 330 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:54,290 the real genuine value that could be delivered, I think. 331 00:20:55,490 --> 00:20:59,170 And so the awareness side is the real discipline 332 00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:02,770 in Gelassenheit isn't releasing. It's noticing when 333 00:21:02,770 --> 00:21:06,210 that grip has returned. It's noticing what I just did. 334 00:21:06,530 --> 00:21:09,330 It's noticing when I get the instinct to do it, 335 00:21:10,450 --> 00:21:14,290 when the grip of wanting to be seen as the one who gets 336 00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:18,130 it, who has it, who can cut through and say what 337 00:21:18,130 --> 00:21:21,530 it is. And that's what this, this whole 338 00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:27,090 effort, this whole discussion today is about willing to be seen 339 00:21:27,090 --> 00:21:30,250 differently. Because again, I'm. I'm recording 340 00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:33,810 reality and I'm thinking out loud. I'm not recording 341 00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:37,370 content. I have, I have tons of notes and, and different 342 00:21:37,370 --> 00:21:40,890 things that, that pertain to what we're talking about today, but no content. 343 00:21:40,970 --> 00:21:44,170 Like I Don't have an answer. I don't. I don't have a package where I'm 344 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:47,830 going to deliver any steps to sense. And I figured it out. 345 00:21:48,070 --> 00:21:51,830 I have not figured it out. I don't think I'm only 10 to 346 00:21:51,830 --> 00:21:55,670 20% into being able to really understand what it means to me, 347 00:21:56,230 --> 00:21:59,590 let alone explaining it to anybody else, because I have no idea if it matters 348 00:21:59,590 --> 00:22:02,470 to anybody else. That to me, that's just hubris. 349 00:22:05,110 --> 00:22:08,950 So I want to dwell in 350 00:22:08,950 --> 00:22:12,680 it, not on it, but I do want to dwell in it. I 351 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:16,240 want to sit with it. And that's not a 352 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,080 state that I achieve and then carry forward. It's 353 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,880 something I have to stay in moment to moment to be 354 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,560 able to dwell in something and not dwell on it. And that's 355 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:31,160 another thing that I'm working on and trying to differentiate when one 356 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,920 slips over to the other. And so what 357 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,760 I'm trying to think through is how does this show up? How do I 358 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,480 know if this is how I'm showing up? And it really 359 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,280 will be about noticing 360 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,920 and noticing and then releasing, you know, glass and height. It's. 361 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,400 It's about releasing it when I do notice it and then continuing to notice it 362 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,080 and release it. And I 363 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,120 want. I want insight for people to arise 364 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,800 instead of it being produced. And so that means I have 365 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:09,450 got to release the grip on whatever happens and 366 00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:12,890 not worrying about if it's impressive or not. And that will be hard. 367 00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:18,490 And you know what? Will I be able to 368 00:23:18,490 --> 00:23:22,330 ever leave a meeting and not feel like 369 00:23:22,330 --> 00:23:25,570 I've been genuinely useful the way that I would 370 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:28,730 determine useful or productive before 371 00:23:30,170 --> 00:23:32,730 and not admired for it, but 372 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,240 still feel at peace about how I showed up? That will be 373 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,520 the tough thing for me. That's. That's very uncomfortable. 374 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,880 I've been trying. I actually came 375 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,320 up with a little phrase for myself, and this is this. I don't know how 376 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,880 it works for anybody else, but for me, this particular thing started. 377 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:58,040 Let's see, it's 2026. It started in 378 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,520 2024. I actually came up with this little mantra of 379 00:24:01,860 --> 00:24:05,660 taking up less space. I had this little phrase that I would share that I 380 00:24:05,660 --> 00:24:08,860 wanted to take up less space in all areas of my life, both. I wanted 381 00:24:08,860 --> 00:24:12,500 to be lighter. I wanted to take up less space physically. I wanted to take 382 00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:16,100 up less space emotionally and mentally and cognitively and 383 00:24:16,100 --> 00:24:19,940 metaphorically and whatever other, you know, ecumenically, however you want 384 00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:23,380 to say it, right? It was just about taking up less space. I didn't even 385 00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:27,060 know what it. I look back now, and when I 386 00:24:27,060 --> 00:24:30,620 said That I didn't even know what it meant like I thought I did. 387 00:24:31,020 --> 00:24:34,380 And that was in January of 2024, so 388 00:24:34,620 --> 00:24:38,340 well over two years ago. And I'm still trying to figure it out. 389 00:24:38,340 --> 00:24:42,100 Like, what I thought it meant then is not how I understand it 390 00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:45,700 now. So I just kept at it. And I can look back now and go, 391 00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:49,300 okay, I think this is what I meant back then. And I have 392 00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:53,060 words for it. Like, I knew it was out there, and 393 00:24:53,060 --> 00:24:56,860 I'm still, again, maybe 20% into it, of really, truly 394 00:24:56,860 --> 00:24:59,820 understanding what that means and how that. How I can show up different. 395 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,920 And it's a long man. This stuff takes a while, 396 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:09,320 much longer than I'd like it to. I'd like to be able to evolve 397 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:13,120 on demand, if that were a thing, but it 398 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:16,800 isn't and it shouldn't be. And so that's 399 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,040 where I want to get my. I want to wrap my head around 400 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,640 calculative thinking versus meditative thinking. 401 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,050 Because calculative thinking. 402 00:25:28,050 --> 00:25:31,890 Calculative thinking is how I've thought for, you know, 50 years. 403 00:25:32,530 --> 00:25:36,330 It. It immediately reduces everything to a resource or a 404 00:25:36,330 --> 00:25:40,130 means or a problem to solve, or an insight or a learning or something, right? 405 00:25:40,130 --> 00:25:43,170 It jumps right to it because of the uncomfortableness. 406 00:25:44,930 --> 00:25:48,490 Because when something. When a problem arises, it. It 407 00:25:48,490 --> 00:25:51,330 generates discomfort. And so my first 408 00:25:52,090 --> 00:25:55,850 intuition is to intellectualize it so I can learn from it and then I 409 00:25:55,850 --> 00:25:59,530 can move away from it. And I don't think that's 410 00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:03,650 helpful for me. Sometimes it's okay, but not all the 411 00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:07,450 time because that discomfort is a good indicator. It means 412 00:26:07,450 --> 00:26:11,050 something. And that's what meditative thinking is. It's thinking 413 00:26:11,130 --> 00:26:14,850 without that reflex to use or control or grasp 414 00:26:14,850 --> 00:26:18,500 something, to understand something and then move on and 415 00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:22,140 then learn it. You know, say that I've learned from it because I haven't 416 00:26:22,140 --> 00:26:25,980 learned. Haven't learned from it. I don't even understand it. I can. That can attest 417 00:26:25,980 --> 00:26:29,460 to that by this very thing about, you know, walking around 418 00:26:30,820 --> 00:26:34,620 proclaiming that I want to, you know, take up less space. I had 419 00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:38,260 no idea what that actually meant, and I didn't. 420 00:26:38,260 --> 00:26:41,780 It wasn't done with me. Like the. The thing. Something 421 00:26:41,780 --> 00:26:45,610 happened and I knew it. I could. I could feel it, but 422 00:26:45,610 --> 00:26:48,850 I didn't understand what it was. And I still. Now I'm 423 00:26:48,930 --> 00:26:52,130 closer to actually understanding how far away I am, 424 00:26:52,850 --> 00:26:56,130 if that makes any sense. I haven't. 425 00:26:57,330 --> 00:27:01,050 There's nothing to figure out. That's the other part of this. That's 426 00:27:01,050 --> 00:27:04,690 what releasing is that it becomes. There's nothing 427 00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:05,650 to figure out. 428 00:27:09,810 --> 00:27:10,370 There's 429 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:18,080 Meister Eckhart, he. He gave this sermon. It 430 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,640 was called Blessed are the Poor in spirit. Now remember, this is, you know, 431 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,280 1200, 1300s, and he talked about, 432 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,880 he gave these radical definitions of the concept. It was a three part structure. 433 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,320 It was wanting nothing, knowing nothing and having nothing. 434 00:27:36,970 --> 00:27:40,770 And there's some radical stuff, I'm sure, back then, and it's 435 00:27:40,770 --> 00:27:44,410 even radical now. For me now, wanting nothing was not 436 00:27:44,410 --> 00:27:47,850 about material things. It was about 437 00:27:51,130 --> 00:27:54,650 not having a self that needs an outcome to complete itself, 438 00:27:55,370 --> 00:27:58,890 which is totally foreign for us in Western culture. 439 00:28:00,330 --> 00:28:03,300 But to him, true poverty meant 440 00:28:04,020 --> 00:28:07,780 releasing wanting altogether, not redirecting 441 00:28:07,780 --> 00:28:10,740 it towards something more noble, but being able to release 442 00:28:11,060 --> 00:28:14,860 wanting altogether. So that was wanting nothing and then 443 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:18,100 knowing nothing is not. Again, it's not literal ignorance. 444 00:28:19,700 --> 00:28:23,140 What he meant was releasing the self's need to know itself as 445 00:28:23,140 --> 00:28:25,540 devoted, as advancing or making progress. 446 00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:31,460 Because the more I can say, I know I'm becoming more 447 00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:35,080 released or more spiritual or more empty, now introduced a 448 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,480 self that's watching and measuring itself. So real 449 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,200 poverty go back to blessed are the poor. Real poverty doesn't 450 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,840 know itself as poverty. Real poverty doesn't know itself 451 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,520 as poverty because it's released it. And then having nothing. 452 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,440 And this is probably the most radical of the three. It's not about 453 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,520 possessions, not even a place or a where. 454 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,430 But if you have. He what Eckhart. Eckhart's logic was 455 00:29:02,430 --> 00:29:06,270 this. If you have something, if you still have some empty 456 00:29:06,270 --> 00:29:09,470 space you're keeping ready and available, you still have something, 457 00:29:10,030 --> 00:29:13,230 you have the readiness itself, the container, you have the intention. 458 00:29:14,430 --> 00:29:17,630 True poverty means not even holding open a special place. 459 00:29:18,510 --> 00:29:21,630 There's nothing prepared, there's just nothing. 460 00:29:22,350 --> 00:29:26,150 And in that total absence, not the presence of readiness, 461 00:29:26,150 --> 00:29:29,950 but the total absence of. That's where Eckhart, he's a 462 00:29:29,950 --> 00:29:32,830 theologian, says the birth of God actually happens 463 00:29:33,550 --> 00:29:36,590 now. So want nothing, know nothing, have nothing. 464 00:29:38,030 --> 00:29:41,670 And that goes back to that. This is for him, Gelassenheit. It's 465 00:29:41,670 --> 00:29:43,310 release. It's releasement. 466 00:29:50,510 --> 00:29:52,030 So that's where I'm at. 467 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,240 It's an interesting place to be for me. 468 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:02,520 I feel. 469 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,200 I feel slightly more at peace 470 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,720 the more I start to 471 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,920 internalize what this means and 472 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,400 how it provides me with another way to show up 473 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,680 that does truly align with 474 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,360 how I want to. How I want to serve people, 475 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:34,880 how I want what I want to offer, 476 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:41,200 that kind of emptiness. And to me, 477 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,320 that emptiness turns into presence. Because 478 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,920 if all of that judgment and calculative 479 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,120 thinking and awaiting is 480 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,720 gone, then I offer presence 481 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,640 for the other person to step into and 482 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:02,360 be. 483 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,160 Again, this is the way I've been. 484 00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:14,940 Let's call it 50 years. So 485 00:31:17,180 --> 00:31:20,460 the step one, the awareness, right? Awareness and impact. 486 00:31:21,260 --> 00:31:24,900 I catch myself now, like, I see when I'm gripping for it. I see because 487 00:31:24,900 --> 00:31:28,380 I. I hold on tight to it and I. I see it readily. 488 00:31:29,980 --> 00:31:33,500 And there are a lot of instances where I can. I can release that grip 489 00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:37,980 and be. But, man, that sometimes that. 490 00:31:38,270 --> 00:31:39,630 That pull is tough. 491 00:31:41,950 --> 00:31:45,750 And these are some. I mean, I. I can't tell you how many 492 00:31:45,750 --> 00:31:48,950 times I've read over some of this stuff. And it. I just don't. I mean, 493 00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:52,790 it is not processing like it is some. It is deep to the 494 00:31:52,790 --> 00:31:53,950 point of, you know, 495 00:31:57,070 --> 00:32:00,870 like reading something a dozen times and still struggling 496 00:32:00,870 --> 00:32:04,350 with, trying to truly understand what it said. Which, 497 00:32:04,510 --> 00:32:07,580 by the way, is awesome. 498 00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:11,100 It's a. For me, it's a great use of time 499 00:32:12,140 --> 00:32:15,460 because that's how. That's what I have to do. What I have to do is 500 00:32:15,460 --> 00:32:18,940 show up for people in a way that 501 00:32:18,940 --> 00:32:22,580 aligns with what I believe is 502 00:32:22,580 --> 00:32:26,420 needed. And I've 503 00:32:26,420 --> 00:32:29,820 talked. I've actually written some stuff down about wanting a more 504 00:32:30,380 --> 00:32:32,460 monastic approach to what I do 505 00:32:34,020 --> 00:32:37,620 and being that emptiness, 506 00:32:40,900 --> 00:32:44,500 providing that. That emptiness, which I don't view as a bad thing because 507 00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:48,180 that means I'm fully present because I'm not bringing anything with 508 00:32:48,180 --> 00:32:51,780 me. I've released it all. So I can. I can 509 00:32:51,780 --> 00:32:54,580 listen and I can hear 510 00:32:57,300 --> 00:32:59,160 and I can be curious. 511 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,680 So that's where we're at. That's where 512 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,760 I'm at. Somewhere we're at again. There I went and did it again. 513 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:13,000 Nothing to learn, no lesson, no conclusion 514 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,680 at all for me. But I'm 515 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,040 in it and I really enjoy it 516 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:26,280 and it matters to me and 517 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:30,200 that's why I share it. So I hope 518 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,520 it's been interesting to listen to. 519 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:38,280 If it has, then stay tuned because at some point 520 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,840 you might hear more about something else and another string that gets 521 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,080 pulled and how this all connects and 522 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,240 how I continue to try to make sense 523 00:33:52,050 --> 00:33:55,890 of the life I'm living. And I hope 524 00:33:56,210 --> 00:33:57,650 you're doing the same for you. 525 00:34:00,130 --> 00:34:01,970 We'll talk again soon. Thanks.