Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your host Aurora. And I'm very grateful to have you here today

to spend some time with you. If you want to unwind from your

busy day, if you want to rest and relax, then this is the

place to be.

Today I want to talk about resilience, resilience has been

a huge topic for all of us during COVID. Many people were

challenged on so many level all at once, and struggle with

depression, loneliness, mental health in general, and just

feeling powerless and hopeless. And I think it's most important

to talk about resilience, because it's during these times

where we feel lonely, and have the time actually to reflect

about how we live, that we can work on our resilience for the

future. And those tools, those thoughts can even have us right

there in the moment. So I'm very excited to be posting this

episode today. Because I feel I can

give you a lot of things to think about and act upon, that

will make you feel good. Maybe not instantly, but within a day

or two. So the number one thing is

what is resilience. So that we define resilience, resilience is

that when we encounter a stressful situation adversity,

that we have

the tools, the confidence,

the positivity in our bag, to face that challenge, gracefully.

And in doing so, we need to be open minded. And I don't like to

say we have to have a plan B, but think of a contingency plan

where you have several resources to reach one goal. So if

happiness, if well being is your one goal that you want to reach

right now, then you have to have several tools that can get you

there, you cannot just focus on one thing, because this is what

made it so hard for so many people with COVID.

If it was people who were very extroverted and outgoing and

sporty, group sports, for example, and this was all taken

away from you within 24 hours, then very quickly, you

would cheat and give up and feel hopeless. Because sitting on a

couch at home and watching Netflix all day long, is not

what brings you happiness. But we have to have that plan B to

be more resilient. So if you are a very sporty person and only

focus on that, this is awesome and remarkable. But think about

the bad things that can happen. And I'm resisting here to say

bad things. Because I don't want you to focus on the negatives

now. But I want you to be more resilient in having an open mind

and knowing that if one thing is not possible to do, then you can

go back to that other thing that you'd like to do as well that

brings you joy as well. So as a sports person, maybe you can

discover that you've very crafty and that you love to paint and

it brings you so much joy it stimulates your creative side of

the brain. And it is okay then to not go out and be sporty, but

to paint instead. And this is just a very simplified example.

But I think you know what I mean? When it comes to

relationships, you cannot just focus on one person, you can't

get everything from one person it is not possible. You'd be

overwhelming that person and for a lot of couples who are stuck

in a

apartment No, I can see that happening because the one person

is maybe very clingy. The other person needs more space and you

can really

yeah,

maybe communicate that at the moment.

Because you've never been caught in an apartment, and then the

fighting starts and discontentment. So when it comes

to relationships, you have to maintain your friendships, you

have to nurse your friendships. And you cannot expect everything

from your partner, because imagine that partner going away,

or you guys breaking up, then of course break up would challenge

you on so much higher intensity,

then if you had kept your friendships close at the same

time, so those are two examples that I want to bring here, then

there is purpose do you feel a sense of purpose. And if not,

then I want to tell you that it is so easy to feel fulfilled in

serving others and to feel a sense of purpose.

Facebook is awesome for that, when you look at all the people

complaining and all the opinions that there is out there.

You can find so many non for profit

organizations

and

just connect with people who are active who are changing the

world. And you don't even have to be leaving your apartment,

you can be on your computer right there and investigate

where you want to put your energy and feel purposeful. Or

you can ask people around you, if they need your help if they

need your resources. And it will give you a huge sense of

satisfaction. If you have that little something that can

support others.

And supporting others, you help them to be more resilient, and

resilient. Sorry. And in doing so you create a beautiful

friendship or a good solid bond. And in return, you are resilient

to like it's a total win win situation, when you help another

person to be more confident and more resilient.

Then there's the positive focus.

If you think about change, and change is a nuisance to you. And

change is always challenging for you, you will have to come to a

point at some point in your life

where change is a constant, you have to see that change will

always happen. And that things will always

move and

fade and come close and look for distance. And

it is very hard to live a happy life if you are clinging to a

moment to an experience to

pick with a person. So if you can change that mindset and know

that change is a given, then you won't waste energy and time and

trying to fight or resistant. You can change you can see

change as a positive thing. There's always negatives, but

there's always a positive side to and you can train your brain,

like a muscle to see the positive sides.

Then strengthen your confidence muscle I want to talk about

next.

How do we do that? See, put yourself in a position where you

feel confident. And next time you experience that really feel

how you feel in that moment and memorize it. So let's think

about a cook, who is been thrown,

who has been thrown into a kitchen where there's just

50% of the ingredients that he or she usually uses. But in the

past, he learned to cook with minimal ingredients and learn to

be very creative. So that personnel is being thrown into

the kitchen with not enough agreements. And you will see

that he will not panic right away. He will remember how it

felt to be creative in the moment with only few resources

in the past and we'll be able to apply it now in the present. So

this is how you can strengthen your

Confidence muscle, do something that you're really good at,

memorize that feeling. And then try something new. And try to

apply that confident feeling into that situation. And you

will see you will approach that new hobby, that new experience

very, very differently. And with a way more open mind with less

anxiety, and you'll do awesome.

Then have that question always ready.

So whenever you are in a situation, you don't want to be

asked yourself right away? What would make you feel good now?

And then you reflect, and you see.

And hopefully it's not binge eating, binge watching Netflix.

Hopefully, you can even go back to my previous episodes where I

talk about how good are you with yourself,

where provide you with tools that are genuinely supporting

your well being. So in that situation, you find yourself not

knowing what to do next, then look back, ask you a question,

what would make you feel good now, and then act upon it right

away.

It is very individual for everybody, like very different.

So for one person meeting up with people is energizing and

awesome. And for others, it's draining. Then we have super

sporty people who use sport to Yeah, get rid of that. Stuck

energy and movement just helps them greatly to feel good about

themselves. And then we have people who would rather be

meditating or sitting at home on a couch and just reflecting and

resting and maybe massaging their feet. So there's very,

very different ways of taking care of yourself. And with this

pocket heat posca level up. When this podcast here, I just want

to Yeah, provide you with the tools and make you aware and

make you curious about yourself and your needs and how you can

meet those needs.

So let's look about three areas that we can kind of dissect out

of your wellbeing, there's the mental, then there's the

emotional, and the physical. If you want to go back to my

episode, where I talk about

your

tools that you can use on a daily to make you feel better,

then please go back It is called How good are you with yourself?

How kind are you with yourself? It's pretty much at the

beginning like episode number three or something. And there

you can

pick out what is best for you What makes you feel good. So

that question, what would make you feel good now is the one

that I want you to take home today. So we have the mental,

the physical and the emotional.

And when it comes to the mental, we are some people who love to

plan and have like a sense of control and structure. They

absolutely love that and can go to bed relaxed at night. And

then there's people who love to live in the moment and let

things happen and spontaneous is their thing to go.

to support yourself mentally. A big thing is also to ask for

support.

As someone who is professional and the area that you struggle

with, there's no shame in it. I feel that our society is

drifting more and more into

you having to be independent and individualist. But we are a

social species we highly depend on each other and asking for

support as a beautiful thing.

Which can help your mental health and your mental

resilience in a situation that is uncomfortable and it can be a

counselor it can be an architect, it can be a teacher

It can be any person who is a professional and the area that

you're struggling with.

When it comes to the physical, take action,

and

look at your lifestyle.

your lifestyle is highly influencing your well being, I

talked about it about

your food, and water intake and the way, like how we do those

daily rituals, let's call them highly influences how resilient

you are in stressful situations.

It's so obvious when you look at it from an outsider perspective,

that person that is struggling with

weight, with diabetes, with confidence and self image will

have way more difficult in a stressful situation, then a

person that has healthy body and feels confident and steps out

into this world feeling good about him or herself.

So, which are the last styles that are supporting your best

interests? And how can you get back to that, and work on your

resilience on a physical level,

then we have the emotional

pie pied. And there, it is very critical to learn how to express

yourself in a way that people can and want to listen to you.

I talked about it earlier, about aggression and how aggression is

not the way

to bring a point to the table is not a way you can bring people

to listen to you. So if you are in a situation where you

struggle is very important to learn how the other person will

receive your message, and then adapt and express yourself in a

way that the other person will receive it well, and support

you. And then listen to your inner truth. And really ask

yourself,

what is the best for me to do here? Do I just have to leave

that situation? Do I just have to be patient? Do I just have to

come to accept that change is a big part of life and will always

be a constant?

Is my inner truth fight or flight? Or can I rest and relax

and just wait and see.

So this was my episode about resilience. I hope I brought you

some

some things to think about here. And also feel good about because

you are in charge of your happiness and you have to look

into yourself. What is best to you in a given situation.

Sometimes we can't look at family

and friends because they are so very different and you can't be

limited by beliefs of others. You have your own truth. And

please follow that always at all times. I'm sending my love out

to you. You were listening to the Borealis experience. If you

liked that episode, please share rate or review and we'll be

meeting up very soon again. Have a good rest of your day. Bye bye