Mia Hobbs: Hello, and welcome to the Why I Knit podcast. My name
is Dr. Mia Hobbs and I'm a clinical psychologist who's
passionate about knitting and its benefits for our mental well
being. Each week I interview a different knitter about why they
knit and how it benefits their mental health. This week on the
podcast I'm talking to LJ who is a yarn Dyer who owns rusty
ferret yard. Hi, LJ, welcome to the podcast.
LJ: Hi, Mia. How are you doing?
Mia Hobbs: Yeah, I'm good. Thank you. I always start by asking
where your story with knitting began. So I'd be really
interested to hear where yours started.
LJ: I suppose really, my grandma was a beginner. And she tried to
teach me. But she always got really annoyed with me. So she
never really properly taught me. But she was always knitting,
around me. It wasn't until I went to university. And I don't
know if I like blocked out these memories or whatever. But I just
remember picking up the knitting. And when I was really
struggling mentally, it was mentally. And I needed something
to do with my hands. I thought oh knitting looks cool. And at
the time, Pinterest wasn't really a thing, but like Tumblr,
and that and there was a lot of really cool little, little
things. I could do that. So kind of picked up then and ever
since. It's kind of been my, I suppose coping mechanism for
just being in the world. Like a security blanket. So yeah, that
was kind of what it started. And it's just escalated from there.
Really? Yeah.
Mia Hobbs: So you think it was Do you think maybe your
grandma's seeing her knitting had kind of planted the seed
that you had a concept of That could be something you did when
you felt like you needed to do something with your hands?
LJ: Yeah, I just my family is all quite creative with the
hands. My mum's my mum's was a chef and my dad's an
electrician, but he tinkered with everything. So we were
always kind of promoted that we are encouraged to use our hands.
And yeah, so we were always encouraged to do stuff like
that. And I, I don't know why none. I honestly don't know. I
don't know if it was the sway of the internet. Or if it was, like
some deeper memory of like, oh, yeah, I kinda know how to do
that. Because my gran kinda showed me I honestly don't know.
Mia Hobbs: It's interesting that you had this idea that you felt
like you were struggling mentally, and you felt doing
something with your hands might help. I think sometimes people
fall into it by accident. And then they realised doing
something with my hands helps. And I think yeah, totally. That
was true for me. I don't think I ever did it at the beginning
intentionally, but I really noticed it did help.
LJ: Yeah, that's weird. Isn't that I've never thought about it
like that. Um, I think I was struggling to focus in lectures
as well. So I found that phones weren't what phones are now.
Mia Hobbs: Do you think it helped a bit to focus in
lectures knitting? Yeah. You were struggling to focus in
lectures?
Unknown: Yeah, I was struggling to focus in lectures, I was also
struggling to like, like, now, what I know is anxiety to
actually go to uni. So it kind of gives me something to focus
on. And kind of looking back, I feel that I've got this thing
with people looking at me and judging me. And I thought, well,
if I'm doing something my hands or like, if I'm knitting in
that. Well, they will be looking at me, but not because of bad
reasons. Because I'm knitting. Yeah. So
Mia Hobbs: yeah, so it was a different focus, maybe a focus
for you, and also a focus for other people.
LJ: Yeah, I think so.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah, that's really interesting. And I think it in a
way it also, I find it, it's a kind of focal point. So you
don't have to give eye contact necessarily to people. You can
be busy doing a thing, but also still listening. So if you're
getting in lectures,
LJ: yeah, I was. Yeah. I mean, for a while I was playing my
Nintendo DS time. But yeah, I was knitting in lectures. And I
don't know when you did your degree, but the psychology
degree that I did, there was like, 400 people. I mean, there
was smaller. As time went on, there was smaller, like
tutorials and stuff, but like were main lectures, there was a
lot of people there nobody, like the lecturers didn't see you, or
I don't think at that time, I would have been comfortable in
myself to be like, Yeah, but it's keeping me focused. I don't
think I would have stood up for myself.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah.
LJ: At that point, I would now. And when I went on, when I went
on to do my second degree, it was a creative degree. So that
was fine. Nobody really cared as long as I was there.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. Okay, so you knitted and people saw and that
was fine. Yeah. Yeah. And was there more other people doing
similar things in a creative degree or not necessarily?
LJ: I'm not really. So I went and did. So I finished my uni,
and was kind of a bit lost. So I ended up at this point, I was
doing loads of kind of crafts, like sewing and things. And one
of my friends was like, why don't you apply to do your NQ,
in textiles at the college local college, and you get paid for
your year and, whatever? And say, oh, that sounds? Yeah,
let's find out. Let's try that. So did that I really loved it. I
really, really loved it. But I was like, 22, in a class full of
16 year olds. Okay. So I was the kind of weird one. Once I did
the NQ, I did my HSC HND in textile art. A lot of people
like enjoyed different creative hobbies, like, like photography,
or sewing or drawing and things. I think I was the only one that
really did, like, traditional handicraft, like in the crochet
in that. But we were all I don't know. It was such a nice space
to be in you were kind of accepted for who you are. So
nobody, nobody judged. You see, I'm always concerned about being
judged as really bad.
Mia Hobbs: I think we all are probably at some level. So it
sounds like it felt more accepting there.
LJ: definitely
Mia Hobbs: It was fine to be the only one who did it. Yeah, do it
in lectures to help you focus. Without anyone thinking that was
unusual.
LJ: No. I mean, it was kind of encouraged when I was at
college, because, you know, it was you were trying things and
it was always encouraged to be trying to creative things, but
uni, I mean, again, you'll understand, it's all about
you've got loads of reading to do so there's not really the
time.
Mia Hobbs: I wonder whether it's different now whether, you know,
knitting or the idea of doing something with your hands to
help you focus is more feels more normalised or kind of
acceptable now that we all kind of realised actually humans are
not meant to sit for hours on end, and just listen without
doing anything. I know, that I struggle with that
LJ: It's it's hard to sit and focus and just sit and focus, I
think. I suppose that's why a lot of people doodle and yeah,
Tinker about and things. I know, like, now being in the knitting
industry. Yeah, in the UK, I know a lot of other knitters in
that, that knit in meetings and things. And it's mostly seen as
very acceptable. So that's a good thing.
Mia Hobbs: I wonder whether zoom has like the pandemic has
inadvertently helped that a bit. I certainly have felt more
comfortable. Being in a training day and just openly knitting
while I'm doing that on Zoom, then maybe I would have done to
do it in person, where it was quite unknown what reaction I
might get, even though 100% Feel it would help me focus to do a
simple knitting thing in the background at the same time as
listening to something. Yeah, I think you're right, it takes a
certain amount of confidence in yourself to be able to say this
does help me focus.
LJ: Yeah, exactly. It's fine. I am paying attention to you, I
don't need to pay attention to the knitting. It's good.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. And in terms of why you still knit now, I don't
know how much you tried the other hobbies and how much you
still do the other crafts or whether they knitting has kind
of dominated for you.
LJ: Knitting has definitely dominated my craft, but I still
sew and spin and work in sketchbooks and and and I'll do
anything, I'll try any craft and I can sit with my knitting at
nighttime, or I take it places like that's my kind of calm. But
like sometimes I'll get the urge to go into something or I want
to make something specific. And I'm like, Well, I'm going to
felt that or I'm going to Yeah,
Mia Hobbs: did you think knitting is the main one you
associate with being helpful from a kind of mental health
mental well being kind of perspective. You said you
associate that with calm.
LJ: Yeah, I, I honestly don't know why knitting. I do crochet
as well. But it's always the knitting that I come back to
always always, I mean, going back to kind of the comfort
blanket type thing, people out somewhere in public in that it's
so easy to take a wee project, like a wee sock or a glove or. I
mean, I've taken big projects with me too. I'm not gonna lie.
I will be that awkward one with like three bags going about. You
can just take out and just sit you can focus without really
focusing. So if you're uncomfortable, you can kind of
retreat back into it. But if you're not you can engage with
what's going on. Um, but yeah, I don't know why knitting. I
really don't know why.
Mia Hobbs: So it sounds like something is really important
for you that it's portable. so that you could take it out as
their like safety blanket with you out into the world that
sounds like that's important. And then obviously, presumably
spinning and sewing maybe it's a bit more difficult to bring it
with you, I guess depends on what kind of sewing it is. Yeah.
I mean, there is an idea about in terms of thinking about
knitting versus crochet that there's something particularly
about the repetitive bilateral movements so that you're
crossing the midline. I don't know, it depends how you knit
actually, but because only some types of knitters cross the
middle of their body, but there is an idea that, like some
trauma therapy, like EMDR, I don't know whether you've heard
of that. No, but it's a type of trauma therapy, where you read
process trauma as you talk about a traumatic memory. And you do
repetitive movements that cross the midline of the body. So that
might be your eye movements, or it could be tapping like this,
like with your arms crossed on your chest, and that that helps
you to reprocess trauma. So there is a theory. So Betsan
Corkhill has done quite a lot of research into the therapeutic
benefits of knitting, that it's because it's a bilateral
movement, it's a movement that kind of crosses centre of your
body. So I mean, that's one theory, I suppose. But I guess
everybody's different. It might not be specifically that for
you.
LJ: Yeah, I mean, it's, it's hard as a me, I suppose I have a
bit of a psychology background, but not nothing massive. But I
always find like to go into counselling and not that. It's
not until you start speaking to somebody that you're like, oh,
yeah, that. That makes sense. That's, that's why I do that, or
that's why that conference me a bit. So yeah. It would be
difficult without actually like looking into it and going
through it. But
Mia Hobbs: part of why I'm having these conversations is to
hear from knitters like what is therapeutic about knitting for
lots of people, because I think lots of us think it keeps us
sane, or it really helps us or, you know, in different ways, and
it won't be the same for all of us. But I guess that's one of
the theories is about the repetitive movements in the
particular action of them.
LJ: I mean, I would agree with you, I I'm definitely a process.
No, I mean, I enjoy the end object. But it's definitely more
about the doing than than the end thing. Yeah, I mean, the
movie you something about, like the kind of rhythm of it. And
it's just like, I suppose, I suppose it holds my attention as
well enough to stop, or this is going to sound wild, but it
stops that kind of brain noise. Yeah. Yeah. Especially if you've
got like a complicated pattern, you can, like there's enough
focus there to not let the intrusive thoughts come in. And
you can kind of get into the rhythm and, and it kind of leads
on to you feeling a lot better in that moment. So yeah, I mean,
so it's actually
Mia Hobbs: a bit of like, the knitting pattern has to be
complicated enough to use enough of your brain power ought to
focus it on that in the hearing now and not to let it freelance
over, you know, and look for things to be worried about, or
Yeah, yeah. ruminative loops to get trapped in.
LJ: I tend to go for I'm not, I don't like pain socks. Okay.
Yeah. They're not my favourite. I, they're too plain. Okay.
Yeah. I mean, I will knit a sock. But I find them to plain.
And I will do like a lacy kind of sock or something
interesting. And that's funny how you say about having a
pattern that's just complicated. I've never thought about that
before. But you're right. I do tend to go for patterns, I've
got something I have to focus on, but not too much that I
can't take out and about with me or watch the TV or do other
things with
Mia Hobbs: I would have multiple on the go at once. I'd have a
take everywhere, easy sock or a hat or something and then a more
complicated one that when I need to deliberately turn off the
noise in my brain and focus on the knitting.
LJ: I mean, we've all got several projects on the go.
nothing to be ashamed about.
Mia Hobbs: No, but I think I deliberately strategize in terms
of process a bit like you like that it's about the product what
I'm going to be doing when I'm doing it rather than the end
result necessarily. Yeah, totally.
LJ: And also, I mean, I don't know about you, but that actual
process leading up to the knitting like picking your yarn,
picking your pattern winding your yarn, picking your needles
that. Yeah, I enjoy that part of the process as well.
Mia Hobbs: And is there anything about that that's therapeutic. I
suppose I'm interested in like, are there certain I don't know
stitch patterns you gravitate towards are there times when you
feel like you want to be I don't know spending time with certain
colours. Obviously you're a yarn Dyer as well. So I'm sure colour
is a big thing for you. I don't know. Well, is there anything
therapeutic about all that stuff.
LJ: I'm more about the feel of things. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I do
enjoy colour. But I more gravitate towards the feel of
the yarn. Am I like really kind of? I am one of those snowflakes
that likes the soft yarn something with a bit of interest
and texture to it, I like the feeling when it goes through my
hands. I'm so glad I'm speaking to a psychologist right now and
not some random person.
Mia Hobbs: This is exactly what I'm interested in, because all
the things that I've been thinking about in my own head
and wondering like, is it you know, are there certain times
you need to be sitting there with some mohair in your hands
or you need to be sitting there with, you know, that part of
that is the tactile experience of Yeah, like it is literally
like a physical comfort blanket, but in your hands, and you're
doing something with it.
LJ: Yeah, no, definitely. I completely agree with that. And
Mia Hobbs: so anything is soft and have some interesting
texture.
LJ: Yeah, yeah. And I also, when I'm knitting, I enjoy like, a
nice stitch pattern. Yeah. I can work
Mia Hobbs: what for you is a nice stitch pattern.
LJ: Do you know I enjoy a cable? Yeah, I enjoy something that I
don't know what the word for it is. I do enjoy some lace, but
not like a traditional like Shetland lace.
Mia Hobbs: Interesting. So is it I quite like a stitch pattern
that I can remember for round. So it might have like six or
eight processes, but I can either read them in the
knitting. So I don't have to look back at the pattern all the
time. Or I can remember it for that row or round and then learn
a new one for the next one. I don't know whether you're
similar or so I don't know that I would love a lace pattern. I
had to look at the pattern constantly that every stitch,
for example. No,
LJ: no, I completely agree with that's kind of where my head was
going.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah, I don't know enough about Shetland lace to
know what that means. Exactly. Is it complicated?
LJ: July it's probably not I haven't done any Shetland lace
knitting. But I was kind of meaning the, you know, the big
white baby blanket. Shetlandy Lace, I think I think it's more
about the thickness of the yarn than the pattern I could be
wrong and I will have complaints. But yeah, just I'd
like something that looks good. And as you say something that's
easy to kind of memorise but not too easy. Just enough to, like
when you're sitting knitting every round, or like garter
stitch. It's, I find that very, it's maybe too. It's maybe too
easy. Yeah. Whereas if you kind of throw in like a lace chart or
something, I find that quite nice colourwork's also really
good for kind of keeping you going, I suppose. Yeah.
Mia Hobbs: So it sounds like this zone, where knitting could
be too easy. And then it's not doing enough of the work of
helping your brain switch off from stressful thing. Yeah, it
could be too hard that it feels I don't know, a bit tedious and
annoying. And there's a zone in the middle, where it's the right
level of challenge that it can occupy your brain enough to give
you a bit of a rest from rumination, let's say and not
challenge you too much that it puts you off.
LJ: Yeah. I mean, I do like a really challenging pattern. I
do. But that is once in a while. And I complain the whole time.
Just like why did why did I choose this one? Oh, I just did
a big brioche shawl it's the blooming brioche by Xandy
Peters. And oh, my goodness, or just, I don't know why I did
that to myself. It's beautiful. And I'm really pleased with how
it turned out. But I was looking at that chart every single roll.
Yeah.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. So challenge. I haven't ventured into brioche,
actually, that's on my list of something I want to do, but I
haven't yet.
LJ: You should give it a go. It's definitely something that
you need to stick at. Because it does. It's not. It's not
intuitive to start with. I didn't find but once you get it,
you're like, ah, that makes sense.
Mia Hobbs: Okay, and this sense of achievement of doing Yeah,
LJ: totally. Oh, I can't do that. That. That's I'm good. I
can do things.
Mia Hobbs: Do you think that's something knitting gives you
like the sense of achievement because Oh, definitely helpful
with you know, all of our kind of mental well being is getting
that boost of Oh, I did this thing? And I guess Yeah, and
also you can see and hold and show people.
LJ: Yeah, I also like him. I don't want to say this as like,
narcissistic or anything, but I quite like when you finish
something and people are like, that's really cool. I feel like,
oh thank you. Just
Mia Hobbs: I don't think that's narcissistic at all
LJ: to it. It's like the insecurities of myself. I'm just
like, Why did something good oh So yeah, it kind of feeds into
that really? And is that
Mia Hobbs: something you mainly knitting garments or things you
would wear? are you knitting things you would keep yourself
or give away?
LJ: I knit everything and anything. Mostly, like back was
a couple years ago, I had a shop. So a lot of my knitting
was for the shop. But I closed that two years ago. And
Hindsight is a great thing when the pandemic and I kind of felt
a bit lost because I was doing all this kind of showing off
yarn knitting and then I was like, Oh, what, so now it's
like, back to knitting things for me. Yeah. And I'm like, but
That's an added boost that knitting gives you when you give
I don't need six shawls. Do I? I don't know. So I've kind of
started knitting for for family and friends and things. Yeah. I
crochet Cinderella doll for my, like, one year old niece, and I
got a message from her mum going. it's her favourite thing
ever. Oh, my God. I'm so happy. Yeah.
it
Yeah, when people like it. Yeah. Yeah.
Mia Hobbs: I guess that was one of my questions. Really, that
was on my list about whether it affects your mental health when
it's the finished article, as well as just the process. It
sounds like you're a lot about the process. But you Yeah,
something from the end result to either because people compliment
you when you're wearing your lovely jumper or your shawl or
you give it away and then people say nice things
LJ: yeah, people enjoy it. Yeah. It's nice when people enjoy it.
And I've I mean, as most crafters know, you find out who
likes it and who doesn't like it. And you end up only making
for them like my mum, I make notes for my mom. She's like, my
number one fan. And she always gets so excited no matter how
ghastly it turns out. But yeah, it's a really nice feeling when
you can make something for somebody. And I feel like as
well. So I have depression winner. And sometimes when
you're in that, that dark space, and I knit all the time when I'm
not doing other things. So like when, like, my friends have
recently moved house. And like I've made them housewarming
gifts. And that was something that I could do, instead of
having to sit on the internet and overthink. Like, oh, what
would be the perfect thing for their new house? Well, maybe
they've got too much stuff, but everybody could use a pair of
slippers, right? So it kind of it kind of helps with that
uselessness as well, that feeling of uselessness that you
are doing something productive? And then you can
Mia Hobbs: other times? So even when you're feeling low? Are you
able to knit?
LJ: Always?
Mia Hobbs: You are okay.
LJ: Yeah. Um, I don't know if it is because over, it's been so
long now that I just understand that, that kind of keeps me
grounded and kind of not in my head. Yeah, that I'm just like,
well, that's a no brainer, really just go and get your
knitting and sit for a bit. So like, if I wake up, and I'm
like, oh, today is not a good day, I will tend to sit with my
knitting and a cup of tea for like an hour or so just to kind
of instead of writing the whole day off, and it's something new
that I've learned that it's okay to just I mean, the joys of
being self employed, right? I am lucky that I can do that. But to
be able to sit where your net and just bring yourself like
wake yourself up and shake off, whatever you've woken up with,
you can focus on doing something. So you are like
you're being you know, the whole you have to be productive all
the time. So you're being productive. But you're also kind
of soothing your brain a little bit. And then I'll go and have a
shower and get my day going and things like that. So
Mia Hobbs: yeah. So it sounds like it helps you to feel you're
being productive when it feels really overwhelming to do
anything.
LJ: Yeah, yeah, it really does. And it's not something I've
realised until recently that when you spend a lot of time on
the internet, I don't know if there's like cycles of things
that are shared. And a lot of it now is like you do and I assume
it's because of the pandemic that people feel guilty that
they're not as productive as they maybe would like to be or
have been in previous years. Well, there's a lot of stuff
about like, you don't have to be productive all the time or
society tells you you should be productive and you're you're not
less of a human if you're not productive. And I suppose the
kind of the right like you are always told that you should be
busy or working and and you always get praised for being
busy all the time. But when you struggle, mentally, I mean, and
physically but like in my cards mentally. be productive when you
just literally don't Have the spoons to clean the house or
whatever you have to do. So in doing a couple rows of knitting,
yeah, use that quite a lot
Mia Hobbs: so that you can kind of see it and feel it like you
can see the progress you made. Yeah. Other than I, you know, I
don't know whether to clean the house, it always ends up getting
dirty. I
mean, you have a dog. Yeah. I don't mean, poodles don't tend
to shed well, they don't shedSHe doesn't shed, that's one
blessing
LJ: Spaniels there's hair everywhere.
Mia Hobbs: He does go to the park and get very muddy and
bring it all back in the house.
LJ: Thats what you get having a white dog. But yeah, like the
cleanings never ending. But you're right, being able to see
the progress on the knitting. And sometimes you add wee
stitch marker and to see how far you've got
Mia Hobbs: Yeah, that's a good idea.
LJ: And it's just an extra seratonin boost really.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah, I think I'm, that's a good idea. Actually, I
need to do. I've just done a colour work yoke. And now I've
got, I'm looking down the barrel of nine inches of stockinette,
which is not my favourite part of that sweater. But maybe I
should put in some stitch markers so I can see my progress
because it does feel like you knit and knit and it's not going
anywhere
LJ: Precisely Yeah, you can and you'll be able to see like, if
you're sitting in the evening, you're just like, Oh, I've done
an inch instead of feeling like you've only done like three
rows.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah, I love going to you know, when you have to go
to, you know, doctor appointment or something and you sit there
and you feel like, well, this is, you know, I like to be able
to see, I got everyone else has just got some time on Instagram
or something on their phones, whereas I got into an of a
boring cuff of a sock or something.
LJ: Definitely. doing that. Yeah. It's good to not be on
your phone all the time. Although I'm on my phone all the
time. I'm trying not to be
Mia Hobbs: I think everyone's on their phone all the time really,
just I was gonna ask about a significant project.
LJ: I yeah, I found that really difficult. Because because I do
just enjoy the process of doing it. Yeah. Nothing that kind of
really.
Mia Hobbs: I suppose I wondered was there a particular time when
you think oh, yeah, that I did whatever I knitted at that point
was really was really memorable, or this I gave to my mum and she
loved it or I don't know, something that got you through a
difficult time or could be any reason for being significant.
Really? Yeah, well,
LJ: recently well, last year. I'm just thinking how much not?
Not how much to say I haven't said this in public, but I'm
happy to say it, last year we lost marks grandad Mark being my
husband, and I was very close to his granddad and he had cancer
so he ended up in like palliative care. And it just
wasn't a good time and there was a whole issue with family and
but back when I had the shop I had started Karina Westerman or
Karie Westerman And Summerisle shawl as a shop sample. And I
had two skeins of my own yarn. And I had started knitting it,
but for some reason it got put to the side and kind of
forgotten about. But it's such a beautiful pattern that I was
like, No, I want to work on that. So we Mark's Gran is
practically blind and she's in a wheelchair. So we moved in to
her house for a fortnight to help her out. And I was on her
it was height of the pandemic so there was only one visitor into
the hospital but because she was in a wheelchair I got in it's
like a carer. So we would spend like two hours in the hospital.
So this was kind of my hospital go to Project okay. Yeah. And
Mark's granddad was all like he was so so he was just the best,
like legitimately the best and we're trying not to cry. Yes.
Um, and he was always like, I like I used to knit him socks
because he his mum, I never met his mum. But his mum apparently
was the most fantastic knitter and would hand them socks. As
soon as I learned how to knit socks, I was like, the old man's
getting socks. And I would give him socks. And when I shop for
the shop, he got all the socks. And he was just like, he
genuinely just was the best. And so I was sitting there on this
project and every night because we were there every single
night. You like, How far have you gone? What is it finished
yet? Is it finished yet? And it would just be a bit of banter.
Yeah. And then he died. And the project well, the project took a
lot more yarn it should have as there's a story behind that.
It's my fault. It's not the pattern. And so again, it kind
of got put to one side and I kind of couldn't look at it
because of the memories attached to it. But I finished it at the
start of this year. I was like what kind of over Christmas
start of this year, and I was like, finishing this business
for the old man. And when I finished it, I was like, old,
man, you'd be so proud of me. I finished it. Oh, God no cyring
Mia Hobbs: It's ok to cry!
LJ: So yeah, having that. He's there.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. And you've presumably you're keeping that
to remind you of that time. Oh, that's amazing LJ. It's
beautiful.
LJ: It's the most beautiful. It's huge. Hence why it needed
more yarn. But it's like a matter. It is a massive blanket.
And I can just lovely
Mia Hobbs: and that will remind you, yeah,
LJ: just, this is really terrible. So when he was in the
kind of a palliative care hospital, but he was still very,
he wasn't bed bound, which was like he was still very, he was
in a wheelchair like an electric wheelchair. So he would always
kind of walk us out of the kind of area he was allowed to go to.
And Mark's Gran would say like bye like lovely dovey kisses and
everything. And I would just give him the finger and he would
give me the finger back. And that's the last thing I did to
him was give him the finger Oh, God.
Mia Hobbs: It sounds like there was a lot of affection in that.
Swearing at each other. It was your banter with each other.
LJ: It was yeah, he was just the best. And
Mia Hobbs: yeah, and I'm sure that's what how he would have
wanted it. He wouldn't have want you to suddenly would have
freaked him out if you'd suddenly kissed him.
LJ: Yeah, no, that would have been. I did once.
Mia Hobbs: Thank you for sharing that.
LJ: I'm sorry that about crying. I'm like, I'm really so
sentimental. No. It's one of those things. He was in a lot of
pain. So
Mia Hobbs: yeah, I'm really special for that. You have that
shawl to remind you. Yeah, of him, And, I'm sure he
appreciated all those socks.
LJ: He did. And when we emptied his house I don't know where all
the socks went Yeah, Mark was like, but you gifted it to him.
So they're not yours anymore? And I was like, yep, but I made
them it Feels weird. But if they've gone to the charity shop
and somebody else is using them, then that's fine. Yeah. Yeah,
because if
Mia Hobbs: I also wanted to ask about a knitting high and a
knitting low. They don't have to be deep and meaningful. They
could just be I don't know, I had the. My cable needle broke
on the line. My circular needle broke when I was sitting on the
tube and all of my stitches came off.
LJ: That sucks.
Mia Hobbs: But I think we've all been there similar stories. When
you're
LJ: Yeah, yeah, we've all done this. And then a knitting high,
let's start with a high after that sad story
story. Um, that's really difficult. I feel like knitting
is such a, a background activity for me that I don't. That's
crazy, isn't it? It's like a background activity. But I do it
all the time. But it's just more
Mia Hobbs: of any like project. When you thought when you got to
the end of it, it felt like a real triumph for when you first
learned to, I don't know, I remember what the first time I
turned a heel. I ended up standing, staying up late like
to what I am because I thought I didn't know how this is gonna
turn out. I'm just gonna follow the instructions. But it's 3D.
LJ: Yeah. Yeah. How does that work? That's, can I say
something more? Not about knitting itself, but more about
like, the friends I've made along the way.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. of course,
LJ: as, as a child who was very badly bullied, um, I've never
felt accepted. And getting into the knitting industry,
especially in Scotland. I'm saying Scotland, because that's
where I'm from. But I have met so many people that accept you
for who you are, and are absolutely your cheerleaders the
whole time. And we're all a little bit broken. So we all
understand when we say no, my brains a bit mush, or various
other things. So I would say my knitting high is definitely
being able to call these people friends and being part of a
community that we are all in on a very supportive. Yeah, I think
that's definitely my knitting high.
Mia Hobbs: That's a huge thing. Yeah,
LJ: yeah. Even people I've only met a couple times. It's just,
and I'm saying this from a place of privilege, for sure. But
everybody's so nice. I know that our issues in the knitting
community you've probably read and seen and, and it sucks, and
it's like, that's not the community. I know. But I know
that it exists for sure. I don't want to be that naive. But yeah,
for me, I'm very grateful that I have people that are so
supportive and you know, we'll send a message in be like 'are
you ok chick and I'm like, no but hi! Or will send you a
stupid video on Tik Tok just to me, like, I saw this and that
made me laugh and make you laugh and stuff like that. So that's
definitely my knitting high, for sure. Great. Um, my knitting low
would be. The one thing that springs to mind because I'm
working on it just now was I went to the very first Edinburgh
yarn festival. Have you been to Edinburgh?
Mia Hobbs: No, but I would love to go to the Edinburgh Festival.
I don't know when the first one was? how long ago.
LJ: Oh, good question. Ah, had I opened the shop by them. I'm not
sure if the shop was open. So maybe 2013 2014 ish. And then I
went, I dragged Mark along with me. And we went in and it was in
the afternoon and it was so busy. I was still so busy. And
this was this was when it was in I think the Drill Hall so it
wasn't in the Corn Exchange. It was a much smaller venue. So we
went in, we kind of wondered about really quickly because I
was just so overwhelmed. There were just too many people too
much nice yarn. I was like, oh, I need to leave went and saw
Lileth of the of Old Maiden Aunt. And there was like she had
her trunks and things and there was a beautiful colour. It was a
buttermint colorway which is this beautiful yellow. It's
gorgeous. So I grabbed it. Bought it. I was like saying to
Lileth. I didn't know Lileth, at the time. Yeah. I was like it's
so busy. How are you coping? And she's like, I'm not I'm and you
want to hide under the table? And just like Absolutely. Bought
my yarn, left. Great. We were home. I took the yarn. Cobweb
lace.
Mia Hobbs: Oh,
LJ: I was not a new knitter. But not a what's the word? Not
confident knitter. I was like, what? I don't know what to do
with this. So it sat in my stash for ages. And then I brought it
out and was like, I took the yarn out. And I was like, I'm
gonna do something with this. Yeah. And I looked at Shetland
lace thought that's a good challenge. I'm gonna try doing
like one of the ring, you know, that shawls that go through a
wedding ring and things. But the yardage wasn't enough on it. But
I think there's like over 1000 metres on it, which is crazy. So
it just so happened that Lileth had a studio fire. Not a big
one. But there was smoke damage to yarn. So she kind of sold it
off cheap. And there was another skein of this colorway. Okay, I
bought it I was like yes because she doesn't often have
that base in stock. I was like, Yes, get that. And it arrived.
And because it was like five years apart. They weren't the
same dye lot. They were different colours. And I was
like, Oh, I don't know what to do with this. So again, it went
back in my stash. And it's just as a bit of a low. It's almost
kind of plagued me just this in my stash because I want to use
it. But I really I suppose I kind of flipped it on. I
recently figured out that I could knit a lace top with it.
Okay, I'm currently knitting a lace top, holding both strands
together. And I only need one well two skeins, but I only need
one skein.
Mia Hobbs: What's the top? ,
LJ: so it's Diafania. DIA. S. E. Nia, by Camilla Larsen. Diafania
Mia Hobbs: So yeah, it's just in progress right now.
LJ: Yes, I could show you if you want that.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. That's an amazing colour.
LJ: Isn't it beautiful? So yeah, it's got like you. I'm just on
the yoke. I'm not looking forward to the rows and rows of
stokinette afterwards. But yeah, I am enjoying it. And it's got a
lace yoke. Yeah. So it's easy enough to memorise, yeah. Yeah,
Mia Hobbs: so hey, so is it feeling good to use that yarn?
LJ: No, it does. So I suppose it takes away from the knitting
law, doesn't it?
Mia Hobbs: Not at all, I'm really pleased at seeing the
light of day.
LJ: I know me too. That's the thing about like, everybody.
Well, not everybody has a big stash. But I know we all have at
least some yarn kicking about and it's just so nice to be able
to use it because you've bought it because you love it. It's
just a shame that it's any more hands basically. Yeah
Mia Hobbs: I actually ended up going stash free because of the
not liking the the kind of guilt factor of when I wanted to knit
a new thing if I didn't happen to have because you've got to
have the right yarn and the right like thickness of yarn,
the right quantity of it for the project. I just found that that
was a matchmaking process that never quite resulted in a
harmonious match. and so I ended up just so the only stash
I have is you know, nice remnants basically or Things,
I've used things. Also, I don't buy unless I have a specific
project and I'm about to start
LJ: started doing that. Well, I started doing that quite a few
years ago. Actually, I went I, before the show, I would like
write up a spreadsheet of projects and yardage and things.
I'd have a selection of things I wanted to make that I could then
be like, Okay, well, I love this. What can I make with this?
Okay, that and then at least I knew I would have enough for at
least a project. But yeah, it's it's quite satisfying to I
haven't got no stash. I definitely don't have no stash.
Yeah, I still have a lot of like sample yarn and things that I
try and give to people. And one of my friends works for a
Women's Refuge charity here and they're doing something with pom
poms to they're making pom poms. And they're going to put them up
around Dundee in spaces where women don't feel safe to kind of
make it a bit more of a nicer environment to be be in. And
she's like, Do you have any purple, orange or green? And I'm
like, Oh, you bet I do. Went over with like bags and I was.
Like, please take this bye
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. So it's going to a good cause?
LJ: Absolutely. So yeah, if you find a pom pom in Dundee, it's
probably from my stash.
Mia Hobbs: That's amazing. The last question I normally ask is,
what's the greatest gift that knitting has given you for the
kind of rest of your life?
LJ: Patience?
Mia Hobbs: Okay, yeah.
LJ: I'm definitely
Mia Hobbs: do you think that's spilled over into other realms
of your life outside of knitting.
LJ: I want to say yes, my husband would say no,
Mia Hobbs: that's okay. He's not on the podcast.
LJ: That's true. I think he's out with the dog. Can't even
hear me say that. Um, no, I think it's definitely given me a
sense of like kind of being in the moment to stop
catastrophizing, things and getting all up in your head.
Yeah. Patience to just sit and be. And definitely a coping
mechanism for situations where I, I like to pre plan everything
and know, like, where am I going to park? What, how long is it
going to take? And I run through these things in my head. So it's
given me something to be able to kind of, as you say, that
comfort blanket type things so that at least that's one piece
of the plan? Yeah. I don't need to worry about that. I could sit
in the waiting room, like at the hospital, the doctors. Yeah. And
I don't have to worry about how long I'm sitting there. Are
people looking at me? Or are people judging what I'm doing?
Blah, blah, blah? Yeah. So it kind of takes away that kind of
nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so once I get there, I can sit in
and be calm and just focus on going in, and then we'll deal
with what's next
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. Okay, that's amazing. And I loved I have to
say, your collection, your new collection of yarn. And I love
some of the yarn names. They are amazing. And I think you're
right, they talk, they speak to the kind of the messier side of
Yeah, mental health when you think, you know, I think was the
one about not having washed in a week. And theapy tears.
LJ: Therapy tears is My friends Yeah, I think I was just at that
place where I'm sure a lot of people were in the pandemic,
where everybody was trying to lift everybody up, which I
totally appreciate. And everybody was looking at, like,
the beautiful things around them, like, the flowers in their
garden or, you know, be like the beautiful things and really look
at and it was so good. I did really love it. But at the same
time I was sat there like not having washed in a week, having
not brushed my teeth in, however long crawling out of this cave.
And I'm just like, do you know what. I love you all for this.
But actually, I feel like rubbish. Yeah. And we can we
talk about that for a minute, please. Can we focus this to me?
And yeah, it was nice to when I kind of shared the idea. People
were really open for it. And it made me feel less on my own.
Mia Hobbs: Yeah. And I'm sure that other people feel less on
their own as well, because they thought, Well, I'm not the only
person here. Well, I hope so a week or, you know, has cried
their way through another therapy session or you know, cuz
that will speak to lots of us won't it.
LJ: Yeah, definitely. So yeah, it was quite cathartic for me
for sure. Sure. Yeah. So kind of proud of that one. Yeah.
Mia Hobbs: So I'm sure there'd be lots of people who would like
to follow you on Instagram. You've got a video podcast, is
that right? Oh, yeah, I do. I do that thing. and your yarn and
the Oh yeah so how can they find out more? Okay,
LJ: so my website is www dot rusty ferret yarn dot co.uk.
Yeah. If you want to follow me on Instagram, I'm at rusty
ferret yarn. I'm not so active on there just now and find it
Instagram a lot just now. Okay. I am quite active over on
Twitter. Okay. Which you can yeah is the same so at rusty
ferret yarn on Twitter as well. And the podcast is on YouTube.
It's not a podcast, it's video podcast video on YouTube, and I
believe that's rusty ferret yarn, too. Okay. But you'll get
that from my website. Everything's linked on my
website.
Mia Hobbs: Super and LJ thank you so much. I'm really honoured
that you shared your beautiful stories about Mark's granddad
and the shawl. And yeah, so that was a real pleasure.
Thank you for listening to the why I knit podcast if you'd like
to find out more about therapeutic knitting you can
follow me on Instagram at knitting is therapeutic. Or
check out my website therapeutic knitting.org. To be notified
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