A lot of the time in relationships, we don't communicate. Things

might get heated from time to time, but you

have to give each other the chance to rectify it.

Sometimes you need to know when to stop communications with the

other parent. It's not always going to work out and it's not always going

to be perfect. It doesn't matter who does more. It

just matters what the goal is. Regardless of

what happens to us as parents, we still have beautiful

children. that need to come first. Welcome to

Krystal Rowe Impacts, a space dedicated to empowering

you to be the change that your bloodline has been waiting for. Join

me and together, let's inspire change. Today

we're going to be talking about co-parenting and what

a nightmare it can be, but also what a beautiful thing

it can be too. One of my favourite quotes is,

it doesn't matter who's right, it matters what's right. At

the end of the day, regardless of what happens to

us as parents, we still have beautiful children that

need to come first. And when we focus on

what matters, it's the kids. And

sometimes it's really, really, really hard to navigate

through a broken relationship, emotions, heartbreak,

and all of the other things that

are involved with either separation or

divorce. Sometimes we get caught up with ourselves,

how wrong we were done by or all the other

things. But if you have experienced a

relationship breakdown, you will know that

there is so much involved. However, when you

have little children, young children, even adult

children, they are hugely affected by

a breakup. And a lot of the time we

are not able to communicate or to express and

articulate ourselves in a way that

we are able to come to one common goal. Now it's

really, really hard to communicate when your emotions

are so high, when you are triggered, when

you can't even look at the person in the eye

that hurt you. or if your guilt

and shame consumes you, it's hard to be able to communicate

with somebody to be able to make an arrangement

around the children. It's just reality but

there are a couple of things that you can do to communicate on

a better level and

to help you to not escalate a situation because

at the end of the day all you are trying to do is sort out

the kids. It might be who's paying for

what, it might be child support, it might be who's

picking up the child from school, who

is taking them to sports, who is keeping the child's routine

effectively rolling. Now the best thing that I

can advise you on is to have

respect. Now how do you do that when you

have just broken up with somebody? Now

the relationship ends. your intimate

relationship ends with that person. And

you need to create a new co-parenting relationship. That

sounds crazy. I don't want to have anything to do with this person

anymore. But if you are a parent, you

have to have a relationship with the other person. I

know there's some extreme cases. I don't have anything to do with

my children's father, and I'm very lucky in

that respect to be able to just parent. Now,

I have a beautiful relationship with my husband's children's

mother, and we have a great communication.

We have mutual respect, and we

communicate very well. It's almost

like a mother-to-mother understanding.

We are able to talk about what's best for the

kids, what's best for each other. Sometimes

she has to work, sometimes we have things up, and

we're just to help each other. to make the kids

have a beautiful world. Because at the end of the day, that's

the goal. If you are able to create one

common goal with the other parent, and

that is to have the child's best interest at heart, I

can assure you that everything will start to

run smoothly as long as you keep coming back

to that goal. Yes, emotions may spike

and things might get heated from time to

time. But you have to give yourself and each

other permission to stuff up. You have

to give yourself and each other permission to

say the wrong things. But you have to give each other the

chance to rectify it. Because a

lot of the time in relationships, things happen and

we don't communicate on how to make the

common goal work. It's

not about trying to avoid things anymore. It's

not about trying to blame anybody.

It's about what

is right. And like I said earlier, it doesn't matter who's

right. It doesn't matter who does more. It

just matters what the goal is. It

matters who the goal is for. And

making sure that our child or children have

the best of both worlds, the best of each parent. And,

you know, sometimes co-parenting is really uncomfortable and

it's really awkward. But if you can actually try

and connect on some level and not make it

personal, then you will

be able to achieve the goal. You will be able to

remove the negative energy. You will be

able to avoid bringing up past experiences. And

you will just be able to have a good relationship that

achieves the common goal. And that is making

sure that we raise beautiful children together. and

it's not always going to work out and it's not always going to be perfect.

But sometimes you need to know when to stop communications as well.

I've done that myself where my

relationship wasn't always good with the other parent

and I actually just stopped communicating for

a little bit until I was able to put my personal thoughts

and emotions aside and actually realise and

remember what was most important and that was

to be able to have a clear communication in regards to

the child. It can be simple, you just have

to not attach your feelings towards the

other person because at the end of the day it's about the

children. And if you need help to navigate

through emotions, blocked traumas, forgive

and to heal, then reach out on our

social media platforms. There's a link in the

show notes as well. If you want to have a discovery call or

a chat about how you could actually co-parent better

by removing some of the blockages between your relationships. Just

from my own personal experience, I just want to

give a quick tip about who communicates. Now,

if there is two people in the co-parenting relationship

that just can't communicate, that every time one

person speaks, it triggers the other, then allow the

other person to step back and step in and

communicate on behalf of that parent. For me,

my husband and his ex-partner don't really communicate too well. And

so I have made it an

intention for me to be able to have a good relationship with

the ex-partner. And it kind of seems crazy

now in hindsight that I have been able to do

that. But the thing was, I set the intention

for the relationship because no matter what,

the girl's mom is going nowhere. And it's

either going to be heaven or hell. And I don't

want to have awkward conversations or

difficult ones. I am an adult and I

am mature enough to be able to have a

good relationship and communicate on what

is important. And like I said, it's always about the kids. It's

always about showing them as well, how to

have a good relationship. What are

we teaching our kids? I want you to ask yourself,

when you are going to have a co-parenting relationship, what

are you trying to demonstrate to your children? Are you

showing them a good person or

an out of control person? Are you showing them

somebody that can have good communication skills,

that is positive and that is calm? Or

are you showing them fighting and violence and

awkwardness? Because it's up to you. Be mature enough to

sit down, set some goals and intentions for

that relationship. You might need to set some boundaries and

you might need a bullet point some of the things that you need to talk

about. Whether it's finances, schools, extra

activities. But just be mature enough. Be

mature enough to have the first

conversation, to communicate clear and

to set some good goals and intentions. And I'm sure you

will be able to get through and be the best parents that

you can be. And if you like this podcast, make sure you leave us a five

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