Foreign welcome to Consulting for Humans, a podcast all about life in consulting.

You're with Ian and with Mike.

And this week, just like in all our other episodes, we're going to be shining a light on a new topic that gets to the heart of what makes consultants happy and successful.

On the Consulting for Humans podcast, it's our mission to add just a little more humanity to the life of consultants.

And we'd also like to bring some of the skills and perspectives of consulting to human lives, too.

Absolutely.

And if you're a consultant who's trying to be more of a human, or who knows, a human trying to be more of a consultant, then welcome, because we think you are just our kind of person.

So, Mike, what's on our agenda today?

Well, today we're going to be talking about something that every consultant seems to want to get done or should, but lots of consultants struggle to actually do, which is networking.

And I'm going to pause just for a second because I'm sure many of our listeners are saying, what?

What are you talking about?

Networking for networking is enjoyable.

It's natural.

It's easy to find time for.

Right.

To be honest, Mike, it's a topic that comes up a lot in our conversations with clients and coaches and trainees and learners.

And it's really not that much of a skill topic.

It's a mindset that we have to figure out here.

Our motivation is something that I think is a big issue for us.

So we need to dig into this.

To be really honest, Mike, for lots of us, networking appears not to be enjoyable.

Like, people roll their eyes and think, oh, gee, have I got to do this?

It's not natural, or at least it feels like it's not.

Either we think that the world ought to eventually more or less confine us if we do good work, or we feel like networking is for convincing tall, good looking, extroverted senior people.

And we are maybe not one or two of those things and easy to find time for.

I think it's the thing every week that people find the hardest to keep scheduled because so many other things compete with it.

There are so many of the payoffs that are a little bit delayed come a little bit later in life.

So it's not easy, it's not natural, and it's hard to find time for.

So let's talk about it.

All right.

Well, Ian, three things perhaps you could say that listeners need to know about networking, but perhaps are afraid to ask.

That's my thought entirely, Mike.

I have three things in my mind that I would like to share that.

I think we need to know and understand Thing number one is that even though you might think it's unnatural that networking isn't or doesn't have to be a sleazy or a selfish or a pushy activity, I think it has a positive purpose.

I want to talk today a little bit about three levels of networking.

The second thing that I want to talk about, once we get our heads around the fact that it's an okay thing to want to do, is that there are some skills that we can employ and skills that I think are hardcore valuable, general purpose, life affirming skills for consultants.

Those skills are the ones that will help you grow in networking as well.

And the third thing going back to does it feel natural?

Some of us, at least 50% of the podcast hosts that I talk to every week are introverted rather than extroverted.

So we feel like there's a bit of a cost to us.

There's an energy barrier there if you have a bit of an introverted personality.

And I think there's some great things that we could pick up about how to network well, even when you have introverted psychology.

So, Mike, before we get into this, you and I were talking just before the show, we were talking about the fallacy that networking has to be for pushy people.

You had a story that you wanted to tell about that when maybe, maybe you realize that a little push might not be so bad after all.

Yeah, you're absolutely right.

I'm an extrovert.

Obviously, we've got an introvert.

We've got an extrovert on this show.

I suspect for a lot of listeners it would be hard to point out which is which or to guess.

But early in my career as that over the top extrovert networking just came easy or at least meeting and talking to people.

But I was definitely in that not pushy category.

I was not going to push myself, I was not going to push our teams.

I was not going to push anything on anybody.

And I remember we had a fabulous client, really big strategy job and quickly realized that they not only needed strategy help, they needed process help as well.

And we had a really good strategy team, I like to think, but we had a phenomenal process team.

And I thought, okay, I should talk to our client about that.

But I am not.

We're, we're about halfway through here.

I'm not gonna be pushy.

I'm not gonna be pushy.

Well, we're getting close to the end of the project and all of a sudden this big new team of consultants shows up at their office one day and they grab the cubes next to ours and they've got a war room next to ours.

And I recognize them, they're from our arch competitors in that space.

And you know, we're being all social and nice to each other, but I mentioned to the client in our weekly meeting, hey, I was so glad to see our colleagues from XY joining us.

She said, yeah, Mike, you probably have noticed we've got a big process issue here as well.

And I wanted to get that going since we're, we're making good progress on strategy now.

And I said, I did notice that plan to talk to you about that because we've got a really good process team back at our ranch as well.

And she said, Mike, I would have thought if that was the case, you would have told me about that early on because we've got that kind of relationship, don't we, Mike?

Wow.

Big, big insight for me.

Yeah, it would not have been pushy.

As a matter of fact, it was a relationship failing on my part not to bring her that help early on.

So changed my whole view of both being pushy and also the utility of networking as well as sales connections with looking at that client first.

Absolutely.

Now, one of the things that I use in my mind to help me get started with this is to go through networking in terms of three different level the very basic, the most accessible, the most introvert friendly, you might say level of networking is just to make a habit of staying back in touch with people that you've already worked with.

Your network, however early you are in your career, your network already includes the colleagues that are now in another territory or another firm or another geography, the clients and their colleagues that you worked with 1, 2, 5, 6, 10 projects ago, the advisors and suppliers and subject matter experts that you used last week, last month, last year, all those people with whom you already have a context, they'd love to hear from you.

So my level one tip if you like, is just take a few moments to get in low cost contact with the people that you are already known to.

And of course, this is the part of networking that LinkedIn is really ready made for.

The second level, if you're happy now that you've got some confidence in going out and talking to the people that you already know, is to say, well, talk to new people.

And there are ways of going about that online using platforms like LinkedIn and getting introduced.

There are ways of going about that where you go along to a networking event, like an industry conference, which we'll talk about in a second, or just a networking event that's in your town or in your city or even in your firm to help you build your own internal network.

Ah, yeah, talking to people that your priority is simply just to make contact.

That doesn't have to be a big exchange of, you know, anything greatly valuable.

It's just a matter of I'm here and you're here, like, let's plan to stay in touch.

And then the third level, which I think is the one that people are most put off by, but that is made much easier if you can do the first and the second.

The third level is talking to the people that you think you want to get into your network because you've got a gap.

And I think lots of people make the mistake of assuming that the only people you should network with are prospective clients or prospective employers.

But you can network with anybody who might be in a position to offer you information, expertise, advice, social time, connections, all sorts of payoffs that you get from having people in your network.

And I think the mindset can still be, I'm entitled to be here, I'm entitled to offer a conversation and see where it goes.

I think I have to expect low amounts of volume, like adding a handful of new relevant people to your network in a year is a pretty good outcome.

And I think your priorities are really about making it a conversation, making it two way.

You know, walking up to somebody at the end of a meeting or in a big industry event and saying, hi, my name is Ian, you need to get to know me is not going to cut it.

So, Mike, we're going to talk about this later on in Luminaries as well.

There's one of our favorite book references here, Dale Carnegie, how to Win Friends and Influence People.

I think we might even have mentioned him before on the show.

You can make more friends and contact in a day by being interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to show them that you are interesting in your own right.

So I think we just have to be ready for there to be a two way conversation, for it to be an uncertain pursuit and for it to be really all about the other person, not just about making ourselves look fancy.

Yeah, and you put your finger right on it because again, that pushy idea comes through that whether it's at level one, two or three.

I think some of us stay stuck on the idea that networking is like going out to talk about ourselves to others.

But there's a lot more to it than that.

And some tools that make it much easier to do and much more interesting.

Exactly.

One of the things that I think was a handicap to me early in my career, Mike, was my business card.

Lots of people don't get business cards these days, but I'm of an age where signing on with the consulting firm meant you got a laptop and a cell phone and the possibility of a desk and a little clear plastic box with like 300 business cards in.

And it seemed to me like my goal in life was to get my business cards out there in the world.

Like, here's my thing.

This is me and my job title and my professional affiliations.

Please be impressed.

And after I'd sent one to my mom, I realized that there were very few other people in the world who are automatically going to be impressed with what was on my business card.

The business card is all about the receiving.

Collecting is much more beneficial than giving them out.

So like you say, Mike, this should be a receive just as much as it should be a send.

Well, talking about getting fixated on ourselves, you were recently at the pharma industry conference Ispor, and you got to talking to a leadership coach there, Natalia Scherf, who had some really nice ideas on networking and how it can enrich our lives.

So this week our Luminaries episode features a great interview with Natalia and listeners.

You can access it by trying our seven day trial of the Luminaries tier.

We'd love to have you do that.

We surely would.

We had a great time talking to Natalia.

We think you're going to enjoy listening to her perspectives as well.

Well, Ian, I think we could talk a lot about how to ask questions and being curious and making sure we bring others into these networking conversations.

But I do do want to come back to this idea where we're saying, well, yeah, but we want them to know about us a little bit too.

How can we be a little bit more creative about talking about ourselves, if you will?

Well, I think there are two classic consulting skills at the heart of good networking and one of them is being good at asking questions.

I'm sure we're going to come back to all the ways in which questioning skills are helpful to us in consulting.

But here's one.

You're going to be a great networker if you can be curious about people that you encounter and that you can come to them with like empathetic open ended questions.

Tell me about yourself, tell me about your work, Tell me about what you're looking forward to.

This is so much more Natural of a way to start a conversation, even an online conversation, than one that says, let me tell you in five bullet points why I'm awesome and you should stay in touch with me.

The other one that I'm really passionate, Mike, is we should be better at introducing ourselves.

I think we tend to go around, we sign into client meetings and we go around to events.

We even meet our colleagues and we introduce ourselves by giving a resume, by giving our biography.

My name is Ian and I studied here and I got a PhD in this thing and a master's in the other thing.

And now I'm a hubli doobly ologist, whatever it is.

And you kind of talk about your professional affiliation a lot.

But that doesn't tell folks that you meet why you're interested in or passionate about what you do.

Doesn't tell them about the kind of problems that you like to solve or the kind of clients that you like to work with.

So I think the way that we introduce ourselves can give us room for a bit of creativity.

Nice, Ian.

I'm married to an introvert and I think picturing Annie say, okay, you really got to get out there and meet people.

Advice for introverts and networking.

I think the first thing, we've already touched on it, right?

Statistically, 50% of humans in some of our industries, maybe statistically more than 50%, right, have an introverted psychology.

Even if you subscribe to the idea that there are ambiverts, there are still people out there.

If you find conversations are a bit of an energy sink, 50% of the people that you encounter see the world in the same way and exchange energy in the same way.

So number one is reflect on the fact that they'll be happy to encounter you in a way that would suit you as well.

You don't need to be high energy.

I think if you're thinking about going to big events like industry conferences or evening networking events, my tip would be arrive early and leave early so that you can, yeah, make a couple of nice easy, low key contacts while there's not too many people around and your energy isn't getting drained and set achievable goals.

Rather than thinking I have to go mad and talk to 100 people at the event.

I think introverts, we all work better one to one rather than in crowds.

Standing at a cocktail table holding forth in front of half a dozen laughing, adoring people is not going to be your thing.

So look for those little one on one moments and be a bit of a connector.

We're going to talk about this a little bit in our interview with Natalia in the Luminaries episode.

Being a connector is actually a really introvert friendly way of exploiting and growing your network.

Rather than talking to people, go and connect people who have complementary expertise and then finally, this is good advice for all of us besides networkers.

Take a minute to recharge.

I was at a big conference last year and I gave myself the target of going and talking to like 10 different new contacts in an afternoon and I had to like go drink coffee and breathe outside air and just rev myself up in between each one of them because it cost some energy and I needed to get back into it.

So know a little bit about yourself and what networking costs you and give yourself the chance to recharge the social battery a little bit.

Nice, Ian.

I found increasingly over my career that some of the best insights I've gotten, some of the best colleagues I've worked with, are in fact introverted.

And I wonder, you know, speaking as an extrovert and a formerly flaming extrovert, any advice you'd have for us when we're at either at a networking event or if we're just meeting somebody who it turns out is an introvert, you know, how do we make that connection smoother?

I think slowing down and breathing a little bit.

Don't expect lots and lots of eye contact and don't expect lots and lots of high volume responses.

Give a moment for a one to one.

Like when the, the environment is quiet and the one to one thing is going to pay off for you.

I think introverts are normally very happy to share their thinking, but that might mean that you need to leave something behind with them as well.

And the kind of cliche of having brochure ware with you or having links to articles that you're interested in, having some of that kind of intellectual leave behind material plays really well to introverts who would like the chance to think about their connection with you and think about the context for what you know, and they're going to need to do some thinking and processing in order for that to happen.

And of course I think go ask for a connection.

Who else do you know who I can talk to that gives the introvert the chance to say thank you very much for this conversation.

This was high energy enough for me.

I'm going to wrap it up now by saying you need to go talk to my friend Mike and he's just over there.

Nice, nice.

Great.

Well, we're running out of time.

Any other thoughts for listeners on how to get started.

What to do next?

Well, I think if you're not already on LinkedIn, do two things.

Get on LinkedIn and second of all, go look at some nice friendly low key videos online about how to get started building your network on LinkedIn.

Having contacts on LinkedIn is not the same as having a network.

Like it doesn't prescribe the activity for you, but it gives you the foundation for someplace to go.

Be ready just to stay in regular touch.

Be ready to share simple things to people in my network that I'm kind of distanced from.

I will share simple stuff like jokes, news items, you know, news about who's gone where and who's left, which job and who's now married to who.

That kind of low key social stuff is actually super exchangeable within your network.

You don't have to come to people with the new law of physics that you've just uncovered.

Keep it low key, keep it authentic.

People would like to hear from you because of who you are and the context that you have with them, not because they think that you're the next Michael Porter or even the next Jay Leno.

No.

Well, we certainly hope you've enjoyed this discussion about networking.

We're going to be back to you for our next episode with some special seasonal content.

Ho ho, ho.

And with that in mind, we hope that you're now enjoying the holidays and looking forward to your break.

We hope that you and your family all have a relaxing time and that consulting doesn't interrupt too much into humanity.

And we will see you next time for just a little bit more on the Consulting for Humans podcast.

The Consulting for Humans podcast is brought to you by P31 Consulting.