Trish: [00:00:00] My name is Trish Ware and I am obsessed with all things pregnancy and birth and helping you to navigate with the practical and the magical seasons of this journey called motherhood. I'm an all day coffee sippin mama of seven. I've had the amazing privilege of delivering many babies in my 15 plus year career as a labor and delivery nurse and as a mama of seven.

I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby. Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice. Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom of the show notes. Hey mama, welcome back to The Birth Experience.

Of course, I'm Trish, your birth coach, your favorite labor nurse, right? And the woman who's [00:01:00] here to make sure you walk into your birth prepared, confident, and ready. Not just hoping everything goes okay, but prepared. Let me ask you something. Have you ever found yourself lying awake at night thinking, oh my gosh, what if I tear, what if I tear my vagina?

What if I can't push? What if I get to the pushing stage and I just can't do it? I am so out of shape or whatever. What if they make decisions for me without even telling me? What if they talk to me like I don't know what I'm talking about? What if labor is excruciating and super long? What if it's so long I can't do it anymore?

What if I end up in a c section? Girl, I hear you. These fears are real. But here's the thing. When you're educated, those unknowns, they lose their power. We spend so much time worrying about things that don't Come true. And I want to tell you a little bit of a story that's going to make this crystal clear, because let me tell you what happened to me on [00:02:00] what should have been my dream vacation to Italy is exactly what happens to women who go into birth unprepared.

So stick with me here. You'll see how it all pulls together. So a few years ago, I took what should have been a dream vacation. to Italy. The food? Incredible. The history? Breathtaking. The luxury? Top tier. But guess what? There is actually parts of it that I actually hated and I wanted to curl into a ball and cry my brains out.

I was miserable. I was anxious. I was overwhelmed. And the main reason was because I was not prepared. Now, first of all, you have to know about me is that I'm very type A. Like, I like checklist upon checklist. I have a spreadsheet for packing for me and for my little guy.

So here's what happened the week before I was launching my birth classes. We were in the middle of a launch. I was. It's crazy busy, and I just didn't do the things I normally do. Normally, [00:03:00] I have everything planned that you could imagine. I know exactly what train we need to get on, which platform, which door we need to exit to get a cab, which route we need to take to our Airbnb.

I downloaded the service, or I paid for the service on my phone to have service in Italy, and we get there, and number one, I did none of those things. Except for the phone. I did add the phone service. I didn't know the language. I didn't understand the customs. I didn't even know how to order food properly, which turned out to be a real bitch.

Let me tell you. I spent the entire trip stressed, confused, and out of control. Now, I'm not saying we didn't have really amazing Moments we did, but I had so much anxiety. I wish I would have known about EFT tapping then that would have helped But instead of soaking in the experience throughout the whole thing I was frustrated and there were parts where I just wanted to be at home

and standing in the middle of Rome feeling like a total idiot, it hit me. This is exactly what happens in birth. [00:04:00] You're about to have one of the most transformative, powerful moments of your life, and it should be your dream experience. But if you walk in unprepared, unsure, and uninformed, you're going to end up having a lot of regrets.

And you may even hate your birth experience. Because instead of feeling empowered, you feel lost. And instead of feeling strong, you feel out of control. And instead of owning your experience, you feel like it's just happening to you. And mama, that is not how birth should be. Because just like I could have easily prepared for my trip, like how long would it have really taken?

Honestly, you can easily prepare for your birth. And I promise you it makes all the difference in the world. Because the unknowns will steal your birth experience. So let's talk about that. The ones that keep you up at night. The good news is that none of these have to be unknown anymore. This is why you're here with me.

So let's break them down. So one of the top things I hear is tearing. [00:05:00] So many mamas are terrified of tearing, but did you know there are positions that reduce your risk? There are things we can do to prep with your body, to work with it, not against it to protect your perineum. The other one is not being included in decisions.

Imagine being in labor. And your provider makes a decision for you without explaining anything. That happens all the time to uneducated moms. You're gonna set the tone from the moment you walk in on whether or not they get away with that. When you know your rights, you speak up. You let them know. You make informed choices.

And you're part of the decision making team. Actually, you're leading it, which is what you should be doing. Not being able to push. What if you get to 10 centimeters and your body just doesn't do it? That fear is so freaking real. But here's the deal. Pushing is not just about trying harder. There's actually science to it.

And when you learn the right way, it changes everything. The other one is unexpected, unwanted, cascade of interventions. But here's the truth. Some interventions are necessary. [00:06:00] Some aren't the difference, education, knowing when to say yes, when to ask for more time. And when you know what interventions are available, you aren't blindsided.

And you know, if it's being offered out of convenience or curiosity. Having a c section. I hear this one so much. What if I end up in a c section? Listen, thank you Jesus we have c sections because some of them are absolutely necessary. But some happen simply because moms aren't given enough time or movement options.

Education gives you power over the process. It helps you know how to avoid an unnecessary c section, and if you do need one, it helps you make it a better experience. The next one is the pain of labor. The pain of labor is real, but your body was made to do this. It's not something attacking you. It's not like a sudden injury, like you burned your hand.

Your body has built in pain relief [00:07:00] mechanisms. No one tells you that. The way you move, the way you breathe, the way your partner supports you, it all makes a difference. And this is what I teach inside my classes. I actually teach over 50 different types of pain coping tools because what works for Sally may not work for Sarah.

But when you learn the techniques, when you're comfortable with them, when your partner knows how to guide you in them, the pain is more manageable. This is why the majority of my students get to the hospital at seven to eight centimeters. Okay, here's another one that I pulled my audience, and this one kind of surprised me, but a lot of you are scared of a long labor.

And fear of labor lasting is real, right, lasting a long time. But what if you knew the exact positions that help move labor along? What if you understand how your baby rotates and how you can help the process? It's all about understanding the flow of labor and working with it, not against it. And I have a really great workshop called, It's Three Secrets to a Faster, Smoother Labor.

Just check the show notes or go [00:08:00] to LaborNurseMama. com forward slash faster. And you can take it for free. It's like 25 minutes, y'all. And I have a sweet little special deal for you at the end of it. So these don't have to be unknowns. And when they aren't unknown, they are not scary anymore. When I walked into Italy clueless, I felt powerless.

When you walk into your birth unprepared, you feel powerless. But the moment that you decide, I'm taking charge, no more winging it. I'm going to get educated. Education is power. Knowledge is power. Knowing how to use the knowledge is also power. And you're going to take back control. And that's exactly what I teach inside my classes.

That's exactly why I have the podcast. This is exactly why I create silly reels and tons of contents on all the places. Because I want you to know everything I wish every mom had before their birth. I used to leave work crying my eyes out because I was so sad that women were bullied and coerced, or things happened [00:09:00] that they didn't really understand.

I want to teach you how to prepare your body, how to navigate labor and delivery, how to make decisions with confidence, how to manage your pain without fear. And how to speak up for the birth experience you want so that you walk into your birth ready and not afraid like I did into Italy. I am so happy and proud of you that you are doing exactly that, that you're taking those steps towards an empowered birth.

Mama, you are stronger than your fears. You are powerful and you deserve a birth that feels like yours.

If this episode spoke to you, please take a moment and hit review. It means so So much to me when you guys, I know it takes like two minutes, hit review, tell me how much you love this episode or tell me what you want to hear more of, give us a review and a rating. It means so much and it helps us out and make sure you subscribe and I will see you again next [00:10:00] Friday.

Bye for now.