[VO]

Welcome to Money Loves Happy People, the number one podcast for professional women who want to advance in their careers without sacrificing their mental and physical health. Wholeness is the new rich. Christy has assisted her clients with earning over $12 million in salary raises since 2020. Yes, women are still getting paid in these tough economic times. Are you next? Now let's join our host, Christy Rutherford.

[Christy]

Welcome to Money Loves Happy People. I'm your host, Christy Rutherford, South Carolina State alumni. Okay, so I just wanna get that out. Bulldogs the greatest HBCU ever in the land. So today, I want to talk about how to reduce your anxiety. How to reduce anxiety is searched 1.7 billion times a month. And I'm excited and delighted to be able to share some information with you today on how to reduce your anxiety. I have five points. I'm gonna give you three up front. Number one, move and don't die in the fire. Number two, you weren't born anxious or depressed. So it is not natural. It is a man-made condition. And number three, one of the first things that you can do is get off of social media.

Number one, move and don't die in the fire. When we talk about anxiety, anxiety is just your inability or your unwillingness to make a decision. You feel stuck, with your hands stuck in an electric socket, and you won't move. You won't tell your mom and them, no, you won't ask for the raise that you deserve. You won't leave a toxic job. You won't leave a toxic relationship. You're stuck in a perpetual cycle of misery, and you won't do anything about it other than complain. Then have the nerve to go to the doctor or therapist and say you're anxious and get medicated for your inability and unwillingness to move. And I won't even say inability because you have the capacity to move. You're just unwilling to do anything about what you've been complaining about for years. You're unwilling to do anything about what you've built, your whole ecosystem and your friendships and your relationships around something that is preventable and that you can change. But now it's too hard because you've built your whole life around something that you're not willing to move, disrupt, or make other people uncomfortable with you fighting for your life.

Fighting for your life is not popular. Making decisions for your life is not popular. Making decisions for what's best for you is not popular. So a lot of people are willing to just stay where they are and claim a medical condition that is a lie. You're willing to just stay where you are and make a check and be anxious and get on medication rather than leave that job and go somewhere where you're celebrated and where you're no longer tolerated. But it's not necessarily popular to leave up a job because you've built your lifestyle around that raggedy money, around a raggedy check, and now you're drinking yourself to death or medicating your soul to sleep. I think I came out too fast with my guns blazing on this one. So I'm gonna pull it back just a little bit. I'm just tired of listening to these stories of women who have everything and feel like they have nothing. I'm frustrated from listening to women talk about ending up in the hospital, having blood transfusions, being in the hospital ICU for two weeks because they were unwilling to do anything about what they have been complaining about for years. This is a life-and-death situation.

So number one is don't die in the fire. Plenty of women have, plenty of women have, plenty of women have died. I am grateful, and I'm so happy that I didn't die, have a stroke or a heart attack when I had to make the decision to leave. I could have died three to six months before that. I'm grateful that I didn't have a stroke. I'm grateful that I didn't have a heart attack to make me move, but I did lose 99% of my mental capacity. So I still lost. I didn't die. What is it going to take for you to make a move? Why do women have to get a diagnosis of a terminal illness before you get the courage to live? Why do you have to be threatened with death before you get the courage to live? Why do you have to be threatened with death before you tell your mama no? Why do you have to be threatened with the terminal medical condition before you start to build boundaries around who you are and what you will and will not accept in your life? That's not fair to you, and you deserve better than what you're giving yourself right now.

Number two, you weren't born anxious or depressed. So it's not natural. It is a man-made condition. I talk to women all the time, be, like, oh, my mom was depressed. [I'm] depressed. Lock, you watched your mama be depressed, and you accepted it as an acceptable condition for you. Not true. You don't have anxious DNA in your body. Well, my mama had anxiety. I got anxiety. No, you just watched how your mom handled problems, and you adapted that as a part of your belief. That is not who you are. That's what you adapted. Now, if you came out shaken as a six-month-old with anxiety, okay, well, let's talk about that. But if you developed it because you watch your mom being stuck, and I'm not blaming your mama, but I'm just saying, we didn't… nobody had a perfect childhood. Nobody. I don't care how much money you have, where you from. I've heard rich people complain about their childhoods. I've heard poor people complain about their childhoods. Middle class, first generation, sixth generation. Everybody's traumatized from something. Or if you had a great childhood, when you hit that first step in your adulthood, it is over. Cuz you rolled a magic carpet in childhood, you mess around and then pass the ball and you fall apart. You can't get back up. Your first challenge that you met was an adulthood. I think that those are the worst.

Are you allowing the doctors to medicate you for something that is curable with action? I remember I went to my first therapist in my career. I talked for five minutes. This man talked for 30 minutes. He said we need to medicate you immediately. I was like, but you didn't listen to what… you didn't hear anything I said. I just said I'm having problems with my boss. And I was; he told me things about my story that was not true. He's heard all these stories from people, and he formulated this vision of who I was and told me who I was. That was not true. I came in seeking a solution to the root cause of the problem, not medication. And he was like; I need to medicate you immediately. So I cussed him out and tried to tear the hinges off the door my way out . Cause I was aggressive, and I was really mad because it took a lot for me being who I was to go, actually ask for help. It takes a lot for a high-achieving woman to admit that we're in trouble to ourselves first. By the time we verbalize it to ourselves first, we 90% covered in third-degree burns. By the time we express it to other people, we almost did. We got 5% left. The only thing that's hanging out the ground is our finger. By the time we ask for help, we're almost on the way outta here. That's a whole nother show. But I went to this man trusting that a medical professional was going to assist me, and all he wanted to do was medicate me. He didn't wanna solve the problem. I wasn't looking for that. So I go to the second lady, and I go to the third man. Luckily I had a coach who would not allow me to be the same person in January that I was in December. She did not allow me to be the same person and complain about the same stuff in February that I was talking about in January. So I'm not knocking therapists, but I'm just saying you need somebody who's going to challenge the story that you're telling yourself and solve the real problem and not let you complain about your ex for three years. It didn't work. Next. You're missing out on relationships for three years, complaining about your ex. It didn't work. Next.

Hey, Christy Rutherford here. If you wanna learn how to get a 30% raise this year without getting another degree, go ahead and get my free case study and get this information. Use it. You can go to changenowwithchristy.com, changenowwithchristy.com. It's about 30 minutes. Use the insight, own your value, and get paid what you desire and deserve. Take care. See you soon.

Number three, get off social media. If you anxious and depressed, you suicidal. Why have you become addicted to synthetic applause and likes from people who don't even know you? How do you have 5,000 friends? So you're more connected with people who you don't know and less connected with the people who are around you and not connected with yourself. That's the problem. Are you willing to save your own self? Are you willing to get off social media and save your own mental health first? Because you're looking at everybody. You're comparing yourself to other people, and you're not being who you are. You're not telling the truth about where you are. Cuz it's easier to lie and connect with the stories of other broken people than it is to tell the truth and then heal. And you have to be careful about what you listen to on social media because I hear people talk about relationships all the time, but I just hear their pain and their brokenness. There are stories, and there are podcasts to be able to validate how you feel about people in relationships. But people are expressing it through their pain. So are you connecting with what's true for you and what's true about what God has said for you? Are you connecting your truth to other people's trauma and their pain, and what they've been through? That's a decision.

Number four, stop pouring and fill your cup. You wanna be less anxious, and you don't wanna be depressed. Stop. Put your mask on first. Stop pouring from an empty cup and being bitter and resentful that nobody's pouring in your cup. You didn't even require; you didn't ask for it. And you surrounded yourself with people who are takers and no givers. You surrounded yourself with people who will happily receive your gift, and you're not receiving anything. You're happily surrounding yourself with people who will extract your energy, time, money, intellectual property, and you're empty and you have nothing. So give yourself permission to fill your cup first. Give yourself permission to be selfish, to be able to come whole. Become whole first, and then give from your overflow. I never touched my cup, but I had to be depleted and experienced catastrophic burnout before I learned this. I'm very selfish with my time, energy, money. Oh no, no. Now. Now we got that... I got that. Chris, I wanna talk to you. Why? Chris, I just need five minutes of your time. For what? Have you ever heard me talk for five minutes? It's gonna turn into an hour, and I'm gonna get off the phone depleted, and you gonna get all full. I'm not willing to do that. I'm not willing to do that. I've created my friendships around people where we exchange energy, and we exchange value. They may be down; I can pick them up. If I'm down, they can pick me up. But it has to be an equal exchange. That's a more advanced class. We're more one-on-one right here. We're gonna talk about that later. But stop pouring and give yourself permission to fill your cup.

Number five. Now this can be number one. This takes the courage of the most courageous and the most gangster. But if you are in a mental state where you are close to a nervous breakdown, we have pulled 15 women off the ledge from nervous breakdowns. We have stopped 15 women from dying and having nervous breakdowns. Facts. We've saved 25 marriages. We've not only done $11 million of salary raises, we've saved 25 marriages. We stopped 15, 20 women from having nervous breakdowns. We've gotten women off their medication, and we've kept hundreds of kids outta therapy from talking about their crazy mama. One of my clients heal from fibroids, endometriosis. She started since she was three and high blood pressure in four months. She doesn't have endometriosis. She doesn't have fibroids. She had three surgeries on them all because she told the truth about where she was, and she chose to work on it. So number five is, change your number. Change your number, and you'll find out who your real friends are. If you are the person that everybody's calling for advice, if you are the person that everybody's calling to be able to extract your time and your value, if you are that person, you have become that person, and it's likely that you are, change your number because there are people who are for you and there are people who are for what you can do for them. We're mostly surrounded by people who are for what we can do for them. And you don't know who they are. The first time you tell somebody, know when they get attitude, they're not your friend. The first time you tell somebody knowing, they be, like, ooh wee, you just set that boundary. I'm so proud of you. That's a friend. If you have people who are benefiting off of your energy and benefiting off of you pouring from a cup that's empty and dry, but they still ask, that is not your friend. That is a person that is using you. And it can be somebody in your family. Change your number.

I love my family. Some of 'em don't have my phone number. I love, no, what you want cuss. Change your number. Disconnect from people who are using you. But some people would rather have nervous breakdowns or do heinous things to themselves before they actually draw a boundary around their family and friends. The people who are driving them crazy the most. Y'all worried about your coworkers. When your mama is driving you to a nervous breakdown. You are talking about your boss [or] your raggedy friends or driving you to a nervous breakdown. Change number. [Unclear] you're on fire is searched 1.7 billion times. Don't allow a doctor to medicate you and doom you with the medical condition that is not true. Is it easier for you to take medication than it is for you to change your number? You're in trouble. If it's easier for you to drink a box of wine a night or a bottle of wine a night or a glass of wine a night than it is for you to get off social media, you are in trouble. If it's easier for you to go around and tell people that you got high functioning depression, a high functioning anxiety, accept that as a medical condition when it is a marketing term used to medicate people who won't do something about their lives, you are in trouble. If you're in trouble, my advice to you and my plea is really make a decision to change. Do something different. Change your number free. Getting off social media, free. Stop pouring from an empty cup, free. Will you choose to save yourself, or are you gonna wait for other people to save you? It's not gonna happen.

Hey, Christy Rutherford here inviting you to join my private community, Money Loves Happy People. Yes, the information is so good. We do live interviews Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I have hundreds of on-demand videos in this community, including my signature course, How To Use The Superpower Method To Write An Irresistible Resume. My other course, Seven Keys To Getting The Raise That You Desire And Deserve. I made hundreds of videos from amazing thought leaders from around the world. You have access to on-demand for less than $500. Go ahead, register, join us in this community, get this insight, and get paid what you desire and deserve. Take care.

All right, does anybody have any questions on anxiety?

[Guest]

Yes, I do.

[Christy]

Okay.

[Guest]

So I've been diagnosed, and I put that in air quote with focused ADHD, which was the counselor's way of letting me know why I feel such anxiety. She told me to take a supplement that has [Subuh] to help relax my neural pathways. I'm not okay with having to take something every day to help me remain calm for the rest of my life. So how do I overcome this going forward?

[Christy]

Okay, so focused, ADHD.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Christy]

What does that even mean?

[Guest]

I don't know. Never heard of it, but that's what she told me. Cause I can [barrel] through almost any project I put my mind to.

[Christy]

So, is it ADHD? Do you have ADHD?

[Guest]

According to her, yes.

[Christy]

Okay. So according to her, not according to you.

[Guest]

I just think I'm a high achiever personally.

[Christy]

Great. Okay. So you're a high achiever who can do 10 things very well.

[Guest]

Yes.

[Christy]

I think that, what the medical community, I don't even say they did it. I would say pharmaceutical companies did it for marketing, is that they started to make up stuff. Focused ADHD, adult ADHD. This lady told me that her doctor told her, she like 50-something, that she was on the spectrum and had adult autism, and then she fell into a hole. What? Focused ADHD is not what people say about you or what doctors say about you. It's what you answer to. If you touch and agree with her that that's your medical issue and it derails how you see yourself, then you're in trouble. But if you're, like, I don't agree with that. Now how can you focus better? You can meditate three times a week five minutes.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Christy]

So the benefits of meditation, one, are endless. But the thing about high achieving women when we sit down long enough, we don't practice enough to be able to acquire a new skill. So for my clients, I always say five minutes, three times a week, but we'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, I wanna do seven. And I'm like, no, do three because if you do four or five, great. But three is the minimum goal. Cuz if you don't do seven days a week, you quit, or you get mad a third time, or you don't do it. It takes about two weeks for your mind to slow down long enough for you to feel the benefits of the meditation. So a lot of complaints that I get from my clients is, well, my mind starts racing when I meditate. No, your mind has been racing; now the meditation is you watching how your mind is going. Like I'm praying. Praying is, you're talking. Meditation is your capacity to be able to receive. So are you meditating?

[Guest]

Yes, I am. Several times a day, actually.

[Christy]

Several times a day. What are you doing when you meditate?

[Guest]

What am I doing?

[Christy]

Yes.

[Guest]

I used to say I am to myself and breathe that, but now I just focus on the breathing to quiet down the thought.

[Christy]

Okay. Have you ever tried guided meditation?

[Guest]

Maybe once or twice

[Christy]

I would try give guided meditation. Consider that. Because guided meditation is you bringing yourself in to be able to focus on your breath. And they're telling you where to be able to direct your mind to go. Does that make sense?

[Guest]

Yes.

[Christy]

Because even if you're trying to intentionally focus on your breath, are you thinking about other things when you're doing it?

[Guest]

Sometimes. Yeah, occasionally I am.

[Christy]

Is it a difficult task for you to try to get your mind to focus? You gotta work for it.

[Guest]

I gotta work hard at it.

[Christy]

Yeah. So you're working when you should be relaxing and breathing. If you're working to try to do it because [you are no achiever] and you're trying to make it happen for yourself, and you're trying to do… you're trying to have focus, and you're trying to have clarity. You're not even allowing it to happen. So through the guided meditation, they're like, come into your body. As you breathe down to your stomach, imagine a light, and then it comes back up. So there's less resistance in that. So in your meditation, you're creating strain, trying to make something focused, and then you beat yourself up on why you can't be able to get it done and why can't you get this. So that's almost torture.

[Guest]

Yes.

[Christy]

And you're not getting benefit from.

[Guest]

Whew, [you put, there] in a nice packet. Yes. That's, I had years of that. I would go hours like that before falling asleep.

[Christy]

You would pass out cause you didn't wear yourself out.

[Guest]

Yes. I could not lie down and just be relaxed. It would take a long time to get my brain to kinda, like quiet down.

[Christy]

No, you just passed out cause you wore yourself out.

[Guest]

Pretty much. Mm-hmm.

[Christy]

You can search on YouTube for guided meditation.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Christy]

Five minutes,10 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever it is. But go with the guided meditation to somebody who has a pleasing voice to you and just do that three times a week. Five minutes.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Christy]

The foundational habits upon all which all the positive habits that my clients have, meditation is the baseline. If you can get that, you can change your whole life. Then you'll have more energy to work out. Then you'll be able to sleep better. Then you'll be able to eat better. Then you'll be able to manage petty people. Then you'll be able to have more patience for other people at work. Then you'll have more clarity in what you're gonna do. So another benefit of meditation is if you have kids, I don't have. [None]. God is good, but I got cousins and nieces. So like little kids, if they come in the house, like my, you know, I would be at one of my friend's house and they'll clean up. Floor is littered with a gazillion toys, and they'll clean 'em, and they'll put it all up. We'll go somewhere and come back. I promise you, 30 minutes, all the toys are back on the floor. So what meditation is you want to make a lifestyle because now you can't think when you have clutter in the house, you're able to clean the room up, so you're able to clean your mind up. So you can now solve the easy problems that come in. You are able to solve things that are coming in, but if everything is jumbled up, it's hard for you to be able to navigate. What's the solution to the problem? If you're stepping on all the toys and if you mess around and step on a Lego or you step on a Jack Stone, it's over. Have y'all ever stepped on those with 40-something?

[Guest]

Yes.

[Christy]

Once you're able to clean that up, know that within a day or a couple hours, it's gonna be junky again. And then you clean it up again, and then it's junky again. And then over time, when you've built the skill, then it's less stuff that comes out in your mind. You're not always gonna be clean, which is why this becomes a lifestyle. But it allows you to be able to solve your problems and live a more peaceful life. But if you're trying to force meditation, you're not meditating. If you're talking, you're not meditating. If you're praying and people have different definitions for it, but meditation is when you're tuned in to who you are so you can be able to receive messages from you because you're talking to you all the time. You're attempting to get across to you what you desire and what's gonna be best for you. But you haven't tuned in to you. And the last part is, if you wake up in the middle of the night at three o'clock in the morning, there's somebody trying to get a message to you. So everybody's like, oh, I see these numbers 1, 1, 1, 4, 4, 4. They go Google what that means. I wake up in the middle of the night looking at the wall. Clearly, somebody there is trying to talk to you. When you're looking at the wall in the middle of the night, just say somebody trying to say something over here. Somebody trying to say something to me, don't get out of bed, don't drink tea. Grab your journal. Like I saw this lady do at the house. I was like, girl, you messing up the phone line, you're laying there, you're in silence. You're wide open to receive messages and guidance on how you can live the life that you desire. So they're like, is somebody trying to talk to me? And they'd be like, yep, here we are.

[Guest]

I had the number 35 flash me the other morning. I've been trying to figure out what it means.

[Christy]

Just be like, is somebody y'all… What y'all got? And quiet in your mind is gonna give you the capacity to be able to receive. I get downloads all the time. If you see all these numbers flashing, you don't have to Google it because you're basically taking the interpretation of somebody else's message, and you're trying to apply it to your life.

Hey, Christy Rutherford here. Forbes has reported that there's going to be a 40% increase worldwide in the number of millionaires by 2023. Is that you, or are you going to continue to talk about there's no money in the market? There is plenty of money out here. You just have to figure out how to get it from your jobs and into your pocket. So I want to invite you to get my free case study how to use the superpower method to ask for and get a 30% raise in the next 90 days without getting another degree. Look, stop getting all these degrees. Go ahead and get this case study at changenowwithchristy.com. It's at no cost. Use the information, get the money that you deserve, and live the life that you desire. Take care.

Do y'all wanna know about how, when you try to go, be positive, why stuff starts to pop off and be negative to drag y'all back to where y'all were? Does anybody have that challenge? Y'all haven't tried to escape a vortex, and then you can't figure out why you can't get it and why does it bring you back? Does anybody have that challenge? I wanna teach y'all on it. What's the problem? What color are you wearing? Naquisha?

[Guest]

I'm wearing yellow.

[Christy]

Great. So that's you. So the dark lawns, you're the yellow woman with the glasses on the locks. You cute girl? Oh, you put… Did you just put your locks on the top ponytail? Cause I'm a… I could draw that for you.

[Guest 2]

No, it’s the logo.

[Christy]

It's the logo. Okay, my bad. I ain't got my glasses on. Your dreams over here. So we'll make the green things like the things that y'all want. What do you want? More money, peace, joy, great relationships with your family. All these things. You have things that are available to you, but they're not accessible to you because you're not the woman that can be able to manage it if you get it. You're not in vibrational alignment with who you are and who you wanna be. So you continue to stay stuck in these silos, and you continue to stay stuck in this negative energy where it rains on you every day. Does it rain on y'all every day? It rain on me every day. I promise you, [miserable]. One more negativity. You want a new job, or you want more money without actually changing. The goal is how do you focus on what do you want and where do you want to be, and what do you truly desire. Meditation is going to remove this. It removes some of your hair too, but it's okay. It's gonna remove this line around you. That's the first layer, like the first habit of what do you need to do to be able to access what's available to you. It's available to you. Happiness is available to you. Joy is available to you. Peace is available to you. Harmonious relationships with the people in your family is available to you. Harmonious relationships with the people that you want to have more love for or be in love with is available to you. It's not accessible to you because of the negative energy that you're carrying around from the things that have happened to you in life. Meditation is a great habit to be able to instill in your life. So once you get that done, then you're able to access these two things that I just erased by hitting on them.

Now you do it long enough, and now you start to work out to move your body and become into more energetic alignment. And now you have these other two things that are accessible to you. This one, this one, and this one. So now you have three things that are gonna pop out. The thing about high achieving women is you have everything that you need to be able to make [$425,000]. It's available to you, but it's not accessible to you because of the story that you're walking around with. The patterns that you're walking around with, the complaining and the things that have happened to you in your childhood that have unresolved, that you're carrying around with you that is weighing you down and keeping you in a perpetual cycle of misery, in a perpetual cycle of complaining, in a perpetual cycle of overworking and being underpaid, undervalued, unseen. It's because you're not in alignment with who you are. You're not in alignment with who you are, the great woman that you are. And you're pretending to be somebody else. So you can be liked. Leadership is not popular. Being a leader in your family is not popular. Being a pattern break or change making your family is not popular. And we're lonely, and we're angry, and we're frustrated. But the only thing that we can control is how much we work. But if working harder for the past 10 years haven't gotten you the result that you want, working harder is not the solution to the problem. It's not not doing is being. Napoleon Hill's book is called Think and Grow Rich, not work harder and grow rich. Not work more and grow rich. Not kiss more, you know, ass and be rich. Not brown nose and be rich. Not laugh at Corner Joe's and go to Christmas parties and be rich. It's, Think and Grow Rich.

So what do you need to let go of so you can be or actually recognize who's already standing there? So a lot of times when my clients get these raises, we've done $11 million in a pandemic. In a pandemic, a lot of times when they get the raises, they happen within two to four months. Because all I'm doing is helping them unpack who they are and let these things go that's stopping them from receiving what is already available to them but not accessible to them because of their habits and because of their thinking and because of the things that they've gone through, the stories that they're continuing to tell themselves. You know, the baggage that they're carrying around. So once you start to let these things go, these things that have been waiting for them on the outside now become accessible, and they can access, now, the dream. All of them, we're coming for all of it. All of it. We want all our money.

[Guest]

Agreed.

[Christy]

But doing is no longer working for you. Y'all gotta shift from doing to being. It is not what do you need to do to get to the next level. It's who do I need to be to get to the next level? Not what the next degree I need. If three degrees have not netted you to the salary that you desire, getting a degree isn't it? Why haven't you owned the education that you've already… that you already had? And a large challenge that I have with high achieving women, especially with my clients who I love, a lot of y'all go out and get these degrees, y'all don't even hang 'em up the wall. You get all these awards, and you don't hang 'em up on the wall. You never celebrate your accomplishments. And then you say, well, nobody's gonna celebrate with me. You won't even celebrate for yourself. So you get all these awards, and you put 'em in a box. You don't even know where they are. You don't hang 'em on the wall. So you can't tell people how great you are. You're not even recognizing how great you are. You want them to see you as being great, but you don't know that you're great, and you don't show up as great. But you want them to see who you're not being. People see who you see. Say, turn your Bibles to Numbers 13:33. The scripture says, and we seem to ourselves like grasshoppers. And so we seem to them. Now the way that the preachers preach it, they say when they went out, sent scouts out to go to the land, they came back and they say, we saw giants. That's not what the scripture says. It says, and we seem to ourselves like grasshoppers. And so we seem to them. If you go into a job and see your leadership team as a place that's not accessible. And so it is.

And so you seem to them if they look to you to have positions that you can never get into. And so you seem to them if you walk in the door and say, I'm a diversity hire, and they think I'm a diversity hire, but you got five degrees and more experience than 80% of the people in that job. And you say they're not gonna promote me because everybody in the senior leadership team is white men. And so you seem to them, are you creating the barriers to your success based on the words that are coming outta your mouth, based on the secret thoughts that you have, based on the conversations that you have with your raggedy friends about y'all's raggedy jobs, about what y'all keep doing, and people aren't paying you. You are creating the barriers to your success. And then you have all of these medical conditions, high functioning depression, high functioning anxiety, anxiety, depression, mental health. Let's normalize it. Let's now say everybody got ADHD. Lemme tell y'all something; I'm sure I got ADHD. I'm certain, undiagnosed, untreated. I'm certain people who have ADHD have the capacity to change the world. And the only people who believed it to be a handicap are the people who are laying over there saying; I can't do anything. When people who have it have gone out and changed the world but haven't labeled as something negative. Actually, it's just not a label; it's just brilliance. Untapped, unrestricted, wide open, brilliance labeled as something negative, untamed, just out here in these streets being brilliant. It's a gift. Does anybody else have any questions?

[Guest 2]

So how do you recalibrate if your geographic location you're in… if the geographic location you're in no longer serves you? How do you find the right place?

[Christy]

Move.

Hey, Christy Rutherford here. I hope that you're enjoying the podcast so far. But what I know that you'll love even more is joining us in our private community. Join us in this private community, Money Loves Happy People and get live and on-demand insight so you can use this information to live the life that you truly and deserve. Get a raise and promotion, no problem. Step into your purpose, no problem. Get the relationship that you deserve, no problem. Look, it's never too late to live the life that you deserve. It's never too late to live a life of total fulfillment. You just need information and inspiration to get on the path and live in your greater life. So go ahead again, click on the link, on around this video, join us in our private community and change your life for the best. Take care. See you soon.

So since we don't have any more questions, then we have a couple more minutes. I'm gonna read two sections out of my latest book, Trauma Default, which is, let's be clear, one of the greatest books ever written. Depression is a state of mind. Okay? It is my belief that being trapped in an unconscious mental state while replaying a cycle of trauma creates a pit that you fall in. Then you remain there for extended periods because you are unaware that there's a different path to choose. Depression is deep suffering, and the body releases chemicals because it relives the trauma of the past over and over again. The resistance of letting go of an unhealed past or not choosing to do something different can cause deep depression to the point of immobilization. This is a decision, okay? But your decision is out of unawareness that you are the creator of your suffering. You are a victim of it, and you're continuously being victimized by a story or a situation that occurred long ago that continues to materialize in your present reality. When you react in the present, your present trauma is a manifestation of an unhealed past. So here's the thing while we close, depression is when you relive your past more than you focus on where you're going in your future. Depression is I can't move forward because you're too afraid to get uncomfortable and move. Depression is when you feel stuck to the point of immobilization because your soul is calling you to greater, and you're calling yourself… you are calling you to rise higher to higher planes of growth and to rise to higher planes, to break generational patterns for your family. But you've acquiesced, everything that you wanna do in your life to your job to fit the lifestyle of your job, or I don't have enough money, or I don't have enough time.

But surely there's someone who had worse all competitions than you had, and they found a way to be able to be productive. They found a way to be able to produce; they found a way to get out of their way so they can be who God called them to be. I used to be depressed. I wouldn't call it depression because I was drinking Red Berry CÎROC with [mixed in a] juice out of a mason jar, eating Little Caesars pizza with nutty bars and cheese snack mix on our brother's house with no money and no car, no house, no nothing, no clothes. I was like, children of Israel, [unclear] yoga pants didn't wear out. I promise you; I shouldn't have [let them stock] in the yoga pants. I want 'em things every day for three years. So how did I come out of my depression when I had to acknowledge that I was depressed? I don't think it's normal to sit around and be drunk all day. It was, I mean, but I needed a break. That's what burnout looks like. Y'all talking about burnout, y'all just tired? Burnout is catastrophic. When I burned out, I could not create a coherent sentence for a year. I could not talk for a year. That's burnout. Y'all just tired. There are levels to burnout. So let's be clear.

So I had to move in with my brother cause I was crazy. I coulda got a job, but I knew I needed to heal. So how did I overcome depression? How did I overcome the anxiety and the panic attacks? I resigned from my job. I made a decision to go be who I was meant to be. I made a decision to answer the call to destiny. It was true that my boss was toxic. It was true that I was being harassed. That was true. I worked for a psychopath. But it was also true that I wanted to live a different life. It is also true that I was miserable. It's also true that I was suffering. It's also true that I knew I was outta alignment with my destiny. It was also true that I knew that I was meant for greater, but I had played safe in a secure job where I had three and a half years to retire with a full pension. Those two things were true. And once I made the unpopular, all-caps, UNPOPULAR decision to resign with three and a half years left to retire with a full pension, I would've retired in 2016. Nobody approved that decision, and ran for my life as [opposed] to dying in a job. The panic attacks went away; the anxiety went away because I made a decision to move. You heard me say it was unpopular.

I ain't gonna visit my family for like a year cuz they didn't like that. All of my friends were in the military. I left a great career, but I was suffering. I left a good [chick], good delicious country fried steak with white gravy on it. Egg roll with yeast rolls and honey butter, delicious [chick]. You hear me. For uncertainty. So the anxiety went away, the panic attacks went away. And then I fell into depression. Or maybe I was depressed the whole time. Didn't even know. How did I overcome depression? I got off social media because I was taking selfie, smiling, and I started crying when the camera was off. I was lying. They're lying. I couldn't take lying anymore, and I couldn't take watching the lies of other people. So I stopped comparing my misery to somebody else's misery. I stopped comparing my lies to their lies. I got off of social media actually for like seven months at a time. One, you wanna heal yourself from anxiety and depression, get off social media. Two, stop watching the news. All you are doing is watching the worst mayhem murders. Like the worst things that can happen. Yes, bad things happen to good people. If you watching Murder Mysteries and you won't park in a parking garage because you think somebody's gonna come at you with a machete, you're creating your suffering. Stop watching negative shows. Stop watching the news. I don't know what's going on in the world. I promise y'all I got here to this different city. I said, why, everybody got coats on? I won't even look at the weather. It's raining. So [it's cold] outside. I said I'm gonna be okay. I wear T-shirts every day with flip-flops so I don't watch the news. But when I detached and removed my energetic cord from negative things, I started to heal.

Number three. If you're really depressed, change your phone number. How about that? Cuz a lot of y'all are attached to people who, they're calling you for your gifts. They're calling you for advice. You're the person that everybody leans on. You have nobody to lean on. Or the people that you lean on are broken are just as crazy as you are. If you keep leaning on broken people and wonder why you keep falling down. You can't keep leaning on broken people to support and wonder why you can't get off the ground. But if you disconnect your phone, you stop talking to the people who are supporting you in your misery, and your story, and you also stop giving. I had nothing left to give. But here's the thing. I have become addicted to giving in the beginning. And then, whenever I needed some oxygen, I needed some breathing room. I had trained people to depend on me. That's not them. That was me. I did that. So if you have people who were addicted to your gift, I'm a coach. Do y'all not see I'm prolific? Prolific, okay? I'm not new to this. I'm true to this. I've been in the game for 20 years, but I had to turn the phone off to be able to detach people calling me every day. I had nothing left to give. If you were like, well, this is too hard, then you don't want freedom. You would rather medicate your soul to sleep. You would rather accept a medical diagnosis of high functioning depression and high functioning anxiety as opposed to making a decision that you're gonna be greater. Work yourself outta your job. Some of y'all got enough money to quit y'all job. Some of y'all got enough money to live for the next 25 years. I have talked to women who have enough money to live for 25 years, but they talk about suffering in a job. When you stock enough money to support yourself for 25 years, quit. That's how you overcome the anxiety, depression. Turn off the news. Get off social media and change your phone number.

And here's the thing, when I changed my number, I had a hundred people who had me on the number one, the number one speed dial person that they called when they was in trouble. I think it probably took about two weeks. Three people emailed me; they found my treasury means. They called me. I ain't calling back. I mean, disconnected off. I had a great time that month. I ain't answering my phone. I ain't calling 'em back. They text me now everybody's calling me y'all. Then they look for me on social media. They didn't find me. They couldn't inbox me; they condemned me. They was like, what in the world? Three people email me on my Hotmail. They found me, and this is what they said. Are you okay? So you got people who are for you, and you got people who are for what you can do for them. And you don't know who they are. You got two to three people who are for you, who care about you, who are actually the same. It was two of those three were the same people who supported me leaving my career when the hundred didn't. And I'm not mad at the hundred, but I appreciate the two cuz I needed the two to see Christy, the suffering soul, not the high-ranking military officer. Those same people cared about me. A hundred people cared about what I could do for them. They didn't look for me past outside of what I could no longer serve them in. So are y'all only giving away your gifts and what you can do for other people, and you leave nothing for yourself? And is that the root of your depression?

So I hope that this session has been great for y'all. I appreciate the questions that y'all have asked. And if you want to, you can get my book, Trauma Default at traumadefault.com. But it's not really about the book. I just really want y'all to consider not allowing people to doom you with a medical condition. That's simply not true. So with that, I wanna recap the top five things on how to reduce your anxiety, which is searched 1.7 million times a month. Move and don't die in the fire. Number two, you weren't born anxious or depressed. So it is not natural; it is manmade. These are terms and labels that are not just given to you but accepted by you. Number three, get off of social media. Number four, stop pouring and fill your cup. And number five, change your number.

So I hope you've enjoyed this episode of Money Loves Happy People. Again, I am Christy Rutherford. I am excited and delighted to be able to deliver this information to you raw, unfiltered, and uncut. You can subscribe to this podcast; I would love it. Leave me your comments. Let me know if you like it or you hate it. I'm cool, I'm good. But leave us some comments. I wanna hear what you think about this episode. Subscribe on YouTube, iTunes, and on your favorite listening platform, and your life will never be the same. For the best. Take care.

[VO]

We hope you enjoyed this episode. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes and YouTube and get Christy's insight to learn how to get a 30% raise this year without getting another degree by texting; change now to 66866. That's, change now to 66866. Your life will never be the same for the best.