1 00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:03,709 Speaker: All right, we're gonna be in Proverbs chapter 13, okay? 2 00:00:03,709 --> 00:00:05,269 And we're, uh, not talking about dating. 3 00:00:05,269 --> 00:00:06,199 We're talking about friends. 4 00:00:06,329 --> 00:00:09,689 Uh, so we're, we're all in the friend zone tonight, all right? 5 00:00:10,109 --> 00:00:13,999 Um, we are gonna be talking about friends. 6 00:00:14,029 --> 00:00:15,939 Uh, but I wanna tell you about some… 7 00:00:16,489 --> 00:00:17,229 They're actually not friends. 8 00:00:17,229 --> 00:00:19,069 They're brothers that I learned about this week. 9 00:00:19,359 --> 00:00:22,539 Uh, one of them was named Wes, and the other one was named Tony. 10 00:00:22,949 --> 00:00:26,489 And, uh, Tony and Wes, so, uh, Tony's the older one. 11 00:00:26,639 --> 00:00:27,419 Tony was cool. 12 00:00:27,429 --> 00:00:29,339 Wes was like, "Tony is awesome." 13 00:00:29,409 --> 00:00:31,209 Tony, Tony had it all together. 14 00:00:31,209 --> 00:00:32,999 I don't know if you ever have an older sibling like that. 15 00:00:33,019 --> 00:00:37,069 I was lucky enough to have an older sibling who I thought was super cool, 16 00:00:37,069 --> 00:00:38,509 and, and I wanted to be just like him. 17 00:00:38,979 --> 00:00:40,489 And that's how Wes felt about Tony. 18 00:00:40,569 --> 00:00:44,629 Tony was, um, he was, you know, he had it all together. 19 00:00:44,639 --> 00:00:45,819 He, he looked cool. 20 00:00:45,849 --> 00:00:46,589 He was athletic. 21 00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:47,349 He was strong. 22 00:00:47,359 --> 00:00:48,599 He was good-looking. 23 00:00:48,599 --> 00:00:51,679 He, you know, he was the guy that, that Wes wanted to be when he grew up, right? 24 00:00:52,099 --> 00:00:54,779 And, uh, maybe some of you older siblings think that to you. 25 00:00:54,809 --> 00:00:57,039 Um, you should ask your younger sibling and find out later. 26 00:00:57,439 --> 00:01:01,799 But, um, Wes wanted to be just like Tony. 27 00:01:01,809 --> 00:01:05,940 And so then Tony, the problem was is Tony, um, he, he had a lot of 28 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,319 money even though he was young. 29 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:09,639 And Wes was like, "Oh, I wonder how he got so much money." 30 00:01:09,639 --> 00:01:12,839 Well, it turns out Tony was involved in some bad stuff. 31 00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:16,479 Tony was involved in some, some gangs and some, some drug dealings and… 32 00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:17,789 But Wes thought it was cool. 33 00:01:17,849 --> 00:01:20,339 Wes, younger brother, you know, he's like, "Oh yeah, Tony's the best. 34 00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:20,969 Tony's so cool. 35 00:01:20,969 --> 00:01:21,789 I wanna be like Tony." 36 00:01:22,259 --> 00:01:27,890 And, um He started doing the same things that, that Tony was doing. 37 00:01:27,890 --> 00:01:30,581 He started participating in all the illegal things and, and all that. 38 00:01:31,061 --> 00:01:34,640 And Tony actually told his younger brother, he said, "I 39 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,011 don't want you to be like me. 40 00:01:36,621 --> 00:01:37,761 I know you wanna be like me. 41 00:01:37,791 --> 00:01:38,761 I know you think I'm cool. 42 00:01:38,761 --> 00:01:40,161 I know you think I have it all together. 43 00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:43,221 But I don't want you to get wrapped up in all the stuff that I'm into, 44 00:01:43,261 --> 00:01:44,241 'cause I can't get out of it." 45 00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:44,681 Right? 46 00:01:44,681 --> 00:01:47,771 If you know anything about how this stuff works, um, you can't leave it, 47 00:01:47,931 --> 00:01:50,951 because people wanna kill you, you owe people money, people owe you money, 48 00:01:50,951 --> 00:01:53,091 and it gets really messy really fast. 49 00:01:53,471 --> 00:01:59,390 And, um, eventually, um, Tony, Tony, he actually beat up his brother to j- get him 50 00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:03,381 to stop pursuing that same gang lifestyle. 51 00:02:03,781 --> 00:02:07,471 Um, but Wes didn't listen, and they ended up actually going to jail together, 52 00:02:07,931 --> 00:02:12,321 um, down the road because they ended up shooting and killing a police officer. 53 00:02:13,471 --> 00:02:17,391 Um, I hope you don't end up like that, and maybe you're thinking, 54 00:02:17,391 --> 00:02:18,141 "Well, yeah, it's not me. 55 00:02:18,141 --> 00:02:18,861 I'm not gonna do that." 56 00:02:18,991 --> 00:02:21,391 But what I'm trying to illustrate here is if you hang out with the 57 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,841 wrong type of people, even if you're not always doing all the wrong 58 00:02:23,861 --> 00:02:29,061 things, um, you end up becoming like the people you hang out with. 59 00:02:29,311 --> 00:02:30,991 You become like the people you hang out with. 60 00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:32,231 There's a, there's a stat… 61 00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:33,031 I don't know if it's a stat. 62 00:02:33,191 --> 00:02:36,001 There's a, there's a thing out there that says y- you become 63 00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:37,611 like your five closest friends. 64 00:02:37,621 --> 00:02:40,861 So if you wanna know what you're gonna be like at the end of this year, right, 65 00:02:40,871 --> 00:02:44,531 think about where you were last year when you started your, your, whatever, 66 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,821 your junior year, or your sophomore year, or your seventh grade year. 67 00:02:46,981 --> 00:02:48,371 Think about what you were like last year. 68 00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:53,281 The reason you are who you are this year, a big part of that, is because 69 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:57,651 of the people you spent the most time around this past school year. 70 00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:00,581 And if you wanna know what you're gonna be like at this time next year, right, 71 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,011 next summer, what am I gonna be like? 72 00:03:02,741 --> 00:03:05,366 Look at the people around you that you're gonna spend the most time with. 73 00:03:05,366 --> 00:03:05,681 Right? 74 00:03:05,681 --> 00:03:07,981 Your teammates, your friends, your classmates, your siblings. 75 00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:13,051 Those are the people that are gonna turn you into who you're gonna be. 76 00:03:13,851 --> 00:03:16,791 And so that actually idea doesn't just come from the internet, 77 00:03:16,811 --> 00:03:17,851 it comes from the Bible. 78 00:03:17,851 --> 00:03:20,451 It comes from our passage in Proverbs 13. 79 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:23,141 So if you got your Bibles, turn to Proverbs 13:20 if 80 00:03:23,141 --> 00:03:25,521 you're not already there. 81 00:03:26,061 --> 00:03:27,321 I'll put it on the screen for you if you need it. 82 00:03:27,321 --> 00:03:31,971 It says, "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise." 83 00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:32,371 Okay? 84 00:03:32,561 --> 00:03:35,982 You walk with wise people, you become a wise person, right? 85 00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:39,922 That idea of walking with someone, it's not just like, "Oh yeah, I go on a walk 86 00:03:39,922 --> 00:03:41,761 with a wise person every morning at 7:00." 87 00:03:41,812 --> 00:03:43,711 This is the idea of you live life with them, right? 88 00:03:43,711 --> 00:03:46,491 When you talk about maybe you've been in church, they, people will ask you, 89 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,631 "Oh, how's your walk with Jesus?" 90 00:03:48,631 --> 00:03:48,811 Right? 91 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,421 This is your lifestyle, your walk. 92 00:03:50,422 --> 00:03:51,371 It's just how you live. 93 00:03:51,371 --> 00:03:54,701 If you live with wise people, you spend time with wise people, you talk 94 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:58,291 to wise people, you, you watch wise people online, you're gonna become wise. 95 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,861 But the companion of fools will suffer harm. 96 00:04:02,051 --> 00:04:04,751 And I don't know why there's two periods there, but maybe just extra emphasis. 97 00:04:04,751 --> 00:04:05,181 I'm not sure. 98 00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:08,761 But, um, the companion of fools will suffer harm. 99 00:04:10,707 --> 00:04:13,687 See, we need God's wisdom for our friendships, right? 100 00:04:13,697 --> 00:04:16,677 Because the problem that we've talked about for all of Proverbs 101 00:04:16,947 --> 00:04:20,656 is that you and I are really bad at knowing what's good for us. 102 00:04:21,247 --> 00:04:25,037 You and I are really bad at knowing what types of people we need to hang out with. 103 00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:29,047 You and I are really bad at knowing what to place our value on. 104 00:04:29,267 --> 00:04:31,917 You and I are really bad at knowing what's good for us, and that's why we 105 00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:33,997 need God's wisdom to help us live, right? 106 00:04:33,997 --> 00:04:39,187 We've talked about how wisdom is how we use God's rules in everyday life, right? 107 00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:42,617 God gives guidelines, God gives principles to live by, and wisdom 108 00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:45,357 is knowing how to execute it, right? 109 00:04:45,757 --> 00:04:50,687 Wisdom is, is knowing, okay, um, I know that Jesus is God, but wisdom is knowing 110 00:04:50,687 --> 00:04:52,787 how that works in everyday life, right? 111 00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:58,317 So we want God's wisdom for our friendships too, okay? 112 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,237 And so our three points now are gonna be really simple. 113 00:05:00,237 --> 00:05:03,147 We'll start with the first one, the first one that I actually realized 114 00:05:03,147 --> 00:05:05,027 that I spelled wrong, but that's fine. 115 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:07,077 It's supposed to be find good friends, but that works too. 116 00:05:07,117 --> 00:05:09,507 Find God friends, 'cause good friends are God friends. 117 00:05:09,507 --> 00:05:10,047 There you go. 118 00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:16,177 Um, you know, this is, like, probably my least favorite part about typing things 119 00:05:16,177 --> 00:05:20,127 and spellcheck and stuff, is there's some words, like, you know, like the 120 00:05:20,157 --> 00:05:23,547 becomes, like, they, or, you know, you put the wrong there, and it doesn't tell 121 00:05:23,547 --> 00:05:26,287 you it's spelled wrong, so you have to actually, like, proofread your own things. 122 00:05:27,087 --> 00:05:28,197 Pro tip right there. 123 00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:29,637 Um, so it's supposed to be find good friends, okay? 124 00:05:29,637 --> 00:05:29,687 There you go. 125 00:05:29,687 --> 00:05:30,368 Find good friends. 126 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:38,367 'Cause you become like the people you're gonna hang out with, right? 127 00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:39,577 We've talked about this before. 128 00:05:39,917 --> 00:05:42,867 Um, but a lot of us don't take it seriously, right? 129 00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:47,007 Paul, in 1 Corinthians 15, which we'll get there probably in four years with Pastor 130 00:05:47,007 --> 00:05:49,947 PJ, um, he says, "Don't be deceived. 131 00:05:50,787 --> 00:05:52,557 Bad company corrupts good morals." 132 00:05:52,557 --> 00:05:53,907 Maybe your, your parents have told you this, right? 133 00:05:53,907 --> 00:05:56,527 "Oh, don't hang out with those bad people 'cause you're gonna be like them and 134 00:05:56,527 --> 00:05:57,687 it's gonna not be good for you," right? 135 00:05:57,687 --> 00:05:58,697 You've probably heard that before. 136 00:05:59,307 --> 00:06:00,647 You have a question or something? 137 00:06:02,517 --> 00:06:03,437 What's morals mean? 138 00:06:03,437 --> 00:06:03,457 Great question. 139 00:06:03,457 --> 00:06:06,177 Morals, that's like, uh, what you think is good, what you think is right. 140 00:06:06,187 --> 00:06:06,197 Oh. 141 00:06:06,687 --> 00:06:06,997 Right? 142 00:06:07,157 --> 00:06:10,787 So your morals, that's like your, your compass, your internal compass of, oh, 143 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,307 this is good, or this is bad, right? 144 00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:13,617 Yeah. 145 00:06:13,627 --> 00:06:14,277 Great question. 146 00:06:14,787 --> 00:06:16,737 Uh, so bad company, right? 147 00:06:16,737 --> 00:06:20,207 If you're, if you're with bad people who have bad morals, that's gonna turn 148 00:06:20,237 --> 00:06:22,397 your morals into bad morals, right? 149 00:06:22,397 --> 00:06:25,357 It's gonna break your, your compass, and you're gonna start thinking good things 150 00:06:25,357 --> 00:06:27,387 are bad and bad things are good, right? 151 00:06:27,397 --> 00:06:28,777 That's, that's what happens here. 152 00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:31,627 Now, maybe you just know this part, right? 153 00:06:31,637 --> 00:06:32,747 Bad company corrupts good morals. 154 00:06:32,747 --> 00:06:33,317 You're like, "Great." 155 00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:36,717 Why do you think he starts with this part, "Don't be deceived"? 156 00:06:38,713 --> 00:06:39,423 Exactly. 157 00:06:39,493 --> 00:06:39,813 Right? 158 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:45,023 What the problem is, is every one of us, we think, "Oh, but not for me. 159 00:06:46,393 --> 00:06:49,033 I can hang out with those people and it won't ruin my life. 160 00:06:50,113 --> 00:06:52,973 I can hang out with those people and it's not gonna be that bad for me. 161 00:06:53,243 --> 00:06:54,493 I'm the one that's different." 162 00:06:54,553 --> 00:06:57,213 All of us think that, and that's why he puts this up here. 163 00:06:57,223 --> 00:07:00,103 Don't be deceived because you and I think we can make it. 164 00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:02,683 You and I think, "Well, I'm the exception. 165 00:07:02,993 --> 00:07:06,663 I'm the person that can, that can just not be influenced by the people around me. 166 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:07,883 I'm the trailblazer. 167 00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:08,583 I'm the alpha. 168 00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:09,183 I'm the leader. 169 00:07:09,383 --> 00:07:13,263 I can do this, and they, uh, maybe I'm just not like everyone else 170 00:07:15,927 --> 00:07:20,917 And that's especially true, I think, usually the younger we are, is it's 171 00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:23,267 easier for us to think, "Well, I'm the one that's, that's gonna make it. 172 00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:25,627 Those older people, my parents, my, my grandparents, they don't 173 00:07:25,627 --> 00:07:26,167 know what they're talking about. 174 00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:27,347 The Bible is an old book. 175 00:07:27,787 --> 00:07:28,937 It, it's just a bunch of rules. 176 00:07:28,937 --> 00:07:30,997 They're trying to ruin my life and let me not have fun." 177 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,987 That's called being deceived. 178 00:07:34,977 --> 00:07:36,427 You cannot escape this. 179 00:07:36,437 --> 00:07:38,627 Bad company corrupts good morals. 180 00:07:38,627 --> 00:07:43,567 If you hang out with the wrong people, you are going to become a foolish person. 181 00:07:43,907 --> 00:07:44,047 Right. 182 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,237 And foolish, not just someone who's… 183 00:07:45,777 --> 00:07:47,157 Foolish has nothing to do with intelligence. 184 00:07:47,427 --> 00:07:47,547 Right? 185 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,397 There's very smart people that are foolish. 186 00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:53,927 Being foolish has everything to do with what you think about God and how you live. 187 00:07:54,857 --> 00:07:56,547 Is it His way or your way? 188 00:07:57,037 --> 00:07:58,017 It's foolish to live your way. 189 00:07:58,017 --> 00:08:00,237 We've talked about that all summer long. 190 00:08:01,997 --> 00:08:04,077 But you don't just become like the people you hang out with. 191 00:08:04,077 --> 00:08:06,327 I want you to s- to notice the second half of our verse, right? 192 00:08:06,477 --> 00:08:09,127 We've talked about how there's like parallel things in Proverbs, right? 193 00:08:09,127 --> 00:08:10,857 There's like the first half and the second half, right? 194 00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:12,487 So you're reading this verse and you're like, "Okay, right. 195 00:08:12,487 --> 00:08:15,387 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools…" 196 00:08:15,387 --> 00:08:17,717 If you had to fill in the blank, you would say, "Become a fool." 197 00:08:17,927 --> 00:08:18,177 Right? 198 00:08:18,177 --> 00:08:19,177 That's what you expect to see. 199 00:08:19,337 --> 00:08:21,277 Well, yes, you hang out with wise people, you become wise. 200 00:08:21,478 --> 00:08:23,557 You hang out with foolish people, you become foolish. 201 00:08:23,877 --> 00:08:24,357 But guess what? 202 00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:25,307 It doesn't say that, does it? 203 00:08:26,217 --> 00:08:27,607 It says, "You'll suffer harm." 204 00:08:28,987 --> 00:08:30,687 You will be in trouble. 205 00:08:30,697 --> 00:08:31,487 You'll get hurt. 206 00:08:31,497 --> 00:08:33,297 If you hang out with the wrong people, you'll get hurt. 207 00:08:33,626 --> 00:08:34,736 That's different, right? 208 00:08:34,736 --> 00:08:36,647 That's, doesn't just mean you'll become like them. 209 00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:40,077 It means there's consequences for the people you hang out with. 210 00:08:40,097 --> 00:08:41,347 Maybe you've experienced this. 211 00:08:41,417 --> 00:08:44,647 Maybe you've experienced this at school this week already. 212 00:08:44,977 --> 00:08:45,187 Right? 213 00:08:45,187 --> 00:08:47,647 You sit with the person who's talking, who's messing around, 214 00:08:47,957 --> 00:08:50,207 and then you're sitting next to them, and they make a joke, and you 215 00:08:50,207 --> 00:08:51,347 laugh, and guess who's in trouble? 216 00:08:51,957 --> 00:08:52,527 You are. 217 00:08:52,587 --> 00:08:52,907 Right? 218 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,057 Not the person who made the joke. 219 00:08:54,317 --> 00:08:54,517 Right? 220 00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:58,057 The companion of fools got in trouble. 221 00:08:58,347 --> 00:08:58,597 Right? 222 00:08:58,597 --> 00:08:59,517 They suffered harm. 223 00:09:00,277 --> 00:09:03,707 Or maybe you were hanging out with some people and, and maybe you've, 224 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:04,677 you've been in a situation like this. 225 00:09:04,687 --> 00:09:07,157 You guys were breaking the rules, maybe even breaking the law. 226 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:08,317 Right? 227 00:09:08,327 --> 00:09:09,567 Think about like a car accident. 228 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,047 Just because you're not the one driving, right? 229 00:09:13,047 --> 00:09:15,757 Maybe, maybe the driver's speeding and you're in the 230 00:09:15,757 --> 00:09:18,687 backseat, and they hit someone. 231 00:09:20,247 --> 00:09:22,357 Well, who's gonna suffer the consequences of them hitting someone? 232 00:09:23,817 --> 00:09:25,928 Everyone in the car, not just the driver. 233 00:09:26,597 --> 00:09:29,727 So maybe you're not the driver of foolishness, but maybe 234 00:09:29,728 --> 00:09:30,707 you're still in the car. 235 00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:33,757 You're a companion of foolish people. 236 00:09:35,507 --> 00:09:37,938 If you're still in the car of foolish people, and maybe it's not 237 00:09:37,938 --> 00:09:40,587 an actual car, maybe it's you hang out with them, maybe it's you, 238 00:09:40,637 --> 00:09:41,997 you spend a lot of time with them. 239 00:09:42,978 --> 00:09:45,327 If you're in the car, you're gonna get hurt. 240 00:09:46,338 --> 00:09:50,177 If you spend enough time with people who don't like God, who don't live 241 00:09:50,177 --> 00:09:53,927 according to the wisdom that He gives us, you're gonna get hurt. 242 00:09:55,088 --> 00:09:55,278 Right? 243 00:09:55,278 --> 00:09:58,557 Living apart from God, living independently, living our own 244 00:09:58,567 --> 00:10:00,747 way hurts people all the time. 245 00:10:02,037 --> 00:10:02,647 All the time. 246 00:10:03,588 --> 00:10:06,877 And so if you spend enough time in the car of a foolish person, 247 00:10:06,877 --> 00:10:08,417 you will get in an accident. 248 00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:09,208 Right? 249 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,098 You might go to the hospital. 250 00:10:10,098 --> 00:10:10,707 You might die. 251 00:10:11,338 --> 00:10:13,257 And I'm not just talking about cars, I'm talking about life. 252 00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:20,147 And so the, the world wants to deceive us about friendship, right? 253 00:10:20,157 --> 00:10:23,897 Your heart wants to trick you about friendship and what types of 254 00:10:23,897 --> 00:10:25,817 people you should be friends with. 255 00:10:25,827 --> 00:10:30,347 There's a couple maybe lies that, that I think would be good for you to, to 256 00:10:30,347 --> 00:10:33,327 be alerted to about friendship, okay? 257 00:10:33,617 --> 00:10:39,157 The first thing that I want you to, to be worried about, I guess wary of, right, 258 00:10:39,487 --> 00:10:42,687 in terms of a lie, is that the world will tell you, and maybe your heart will tell 259 00:10:42,687 --> 00:10:47,737 you this, that having things in common is the most important thing about friendship. 260 00:10:48,437 --> 00:10:51,057 I need to have things in common with this person to be friends with them, right? 261 00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:52,217 We need to like the same things. 262 00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:56,687 We need to be ha- be from the same, the same area, or have the same 263 00:10:56,837 --> 00:11:00,077 personality, or think the same things are funny, or have the same interests. 264 00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:01,227 Right? 265 00:11:01,277 --> 00:11:03,827 The world will tell you that, that you should be with people that are like you 266 00:11:06,369 --> 00:11:10,099 And that's the basis for your friendship, all of these surface level commonalities. 267 00:11:11,919 --> 00:11:14,459 But what I wanna ask you is what do you base your friendships on? 268 00:11:15,619 --> 00:11:17,539 What do you build your friendships around? 269 00:11:18,479 --> 00:11:20,089 Are your friendships built around sports? 270 00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:22,719 Are they built around homework? 271 00:11:22,729 --> 00:11:24,479 Are they built around you don't like that teacher? 272 00:11:24,889 --> 00:11:29,369 Are they built around you guys like the same YouTubers? 273 00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:31,639 What do you build your friendships around? 274 00:11:31,639 --> 00:11:33,879 Because all of those things, if you build your friendship on that, 275 00:11:34,309 --> 00:11:35,899 that's a very thin friendship. 276 00:11:36,799 --> 00:11:39,039 That's a very weak friendship, right? 277 00:11:39,039 --> 00:11:41,839 If your friendship is built around playing the same video game together, 278 00:11:42,939 --> 00:11:46,149 that's not the type of friend that's gonna help you be wise. 279 00:11:47,389 --> 00:11:48,879 That's, that's a paper thin friendship 280 00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:54,259 So what do you found, or your friendships on? 281 00:11:54,259 --> 00:11:55,539 What do you build them on? 282 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:55,579 Right? 283 00:11:55,669 --> 00:11:58,069 If you're gonna find good friends, you need to build your 284 00:11:58,069 --> 00:12:00,039 friendships on substantial things. 285 00:12:00,729 --> 00:12:00,899 Right? 286 00:12:00,899 --> 00:12:05,439 Not just surface level commonalities, but, oh, we both love Jesus. 287 00:12:05,509 --> 00:12:07,009 That's the foundation of our friendship. 288 00:12:07,709 --> 00:12:07,919 Right? 289 00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:12,169 In fact, we don't just both love Jesus, Jesus has changed us, right? 290 00:12:12,169 --> 00:12:13,629 He's made us who we are. 291 00:12:13,849 --> 00:12:16,229 He's put us into the same family. 292 00:12:18,979 --> 00:12:21,139 Maybe another lie that you believe about friendship is that the 293 00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:22,649 point of friends is to have fun. 294 00:12:23,839 --> 00:12:24,599 That's what the world tells you. 295 00:12:24,599 --> 00:12:26,419 The point of friends is to have fun. 296 00:12:27,209 --> 00:12:28,709 It's to do fun things together. 297 00:12:28,889 --> 00:12:30,039 It's to enjoy yourself. 298 00:12:30,039 --> 00:12:33,749 It's to, it's to do a lot of unserious things together 299 00:12:36,577 --> 00:12:38,937 What I wanna ask you then is what's the goal of your friendship? 300 00:12:40,197 --> 00:12:42,437 If the goal of your friendship is to have fun, again, that, 301 00:12:42,437 --> 00:12:44,577 that's a weak friendship, right? 302 00:12:44,577 --> 00:12:46,687 That's a, that's a, that's a diet friendship, right? 303 00:12:46,687 --> 00:12:47,987 That's a low sodium friendship. 304 00:12:47,997 --> 00:12:49,617 That's a gluten-free friendship, right? 305 00:12:49,847 --> 00:12:50,797 That's a sugar-free fri… 306 00:12:50,797 --> 00:12:52,147 You know, have you ever had sugar-free ice cream? 307 00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:54,077 It's like the worst thing ever, right? 308 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:56,167 You don't want a sugar-free friendship, right? 309 00:12:56,177 --> 00:13:00,787 You want a friendship that's meaty, that lasts, that satisfies, right? 310 00:13:03,609 --> 00:13:06,479 If your friendships are all just about having fun, you never have any serious 311 00:13:06,479 --> 00:13:10,069 conversations with your friends, that friendship is not going to really 312 00:13:10,069 --> 00:13:13,249 matter to you in the long run, right? 313 00:13:13,249 --> 00:13:19,429 When your parents are going through a hard time, when you get really sick, 314 00:13:19,439 --> 00:13:23,509 when your girlfriend or boyfriend break, breaks up with you, when you 315 00:13:23,519 --> 00:13:29,819 fail that class, doesn't matter how many good memories you have playing 316 00:13:29,819 --> 00:13:32,579 Rocket League with your friends, right? 317 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:37,509 You want a friend who knows God's word, who cares about you, and who loves you. 318 00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:44,239 Doesn't matter how many jokes they can tell, because you need a friend who's 319 00:13:44,239 --> 00:13:46,679 really gonna be there and care for you. 320 00:13:48,439 --> 00:13:50,699 So what is the goal of your friendship? 321 00:13:50,899 --> 00:13:52,069 Is the goal of your friendship just to have fun? 322 00:13:52,609 --> 00:13:55,979 Or is it to really have someone who's gonna walk through life with you? 323 00:13:57,109 --> 00:13:59,219 To be there for you when things really matter 324 00:14:03,257 --> 00:14:05,987 Another lie you might think about friendship is that friendship shouldn't 325 00:14:05,987 --> 00:14:08,607 take work, it should just come naturally. 326 00:14:10,607 --> 00:14:15,217 You won't have friends for very long if you don't put in work, right? 327 00:14:15,217 --> 00:14:17,807 And if you make friends with people, right, you don't want a friend who's 328 00:14:17,837 --> 00:14:19,967 only gonna be friends with you when it's easy to be friends with you. 329 00:14:20,517 --> 00:14:23,177 Because if we're honest, it's not easy to be friends with all of us 330 00:14:23,187 --> 00:14:27,467 for very long . It's not easy to be friends with someone, a sinner, for 331 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,267 a super long time because guess what? 332 00:14:29,297 --> 00:14:30,127 Guess what sinners do? 333 00:14:31,057 --> 00:14:32,317 They sin, right? 334 00:14:33,017 --> 00:14:35,457 And so if, if you think, "Well, I'm only gonna be friends with this person 335 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,967 when it's easy," or, or this person, "I just wanna be friends with people 336 00:14:37,967 --> 00:14:41,587 when it's easy to be friends with people," then you're not gonna find 337 00:14:41,587 --> 00:14:44,607 any good friends, 'cause they're gonna be gone as soon as your life is hard. 338 00:14:46,387 --> 00:14:50,247 As soon as you're, you're busy, or as soon as you're going through something, 339 00:14:50,247 --> 00:14:52,437 they're gonna be like, "Well, it's too much work to be friends with this person. 340 00:14:52,647 --> 00:14:53,567 I'm not gonna do it anymore." 341 00:14:54,147 --> 00:14:56,587 As soon as you really have real problems, they're just gonna be like, "Oh, I'm out." 342 00:14:58,267 --> 00:15:00,827 And it doesn't matter, again, how much fun you had with them, if 343 00:15:00,827 --> 00:15:03,937 they're not gonna stick around when it takes work to be friends, when they 344 00:15:03,947 --> 00:15:07,137 have to forgive you, when they have 345 00:15:07,177 --> 00:15:10,938 when you have to confess sin to them, right? 346 00:15:10,938 --> 00:15:12,377 You want a friend who's gonna be there then. 347 00:15:13,588 --> 00:15:18,397 You don't just want a friend who's gonna hop on your game 348 00:15:18,397 --> 00:15:20,337 together online and, and hang out 349 00:15:24,343 --> 00:15:27,263 Maybe a lie you think about friends is that you don't need them. 350 00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:29,013 Maybe you're just like, "I don't need friends. 351 00:15:29,143 --> 00:15:29,543 I'm good." 352 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:35,213 And I, I- God, from the beginning of the Bible, has said it's not good 353 00:15:35,483 --> 00:15:36,843 for you to be by yourself, right? 354 00:15:36,843 --> 00:15:39,323 He hasn't designed you to be a lone ranger. 355 00:15:40,163 --> 00:15:42,373 So maybe you're thinking, "Well, I don't need to find good friends, 356 00:15:42,413 --> 00:15:43,943 'cause I'm fine on my own," right? 357 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,513 Well, you're going against the design of the person who made you. 358 00:15:48,463 --> 00:15:50,653 God made you, and He made you to, to have friends. 359 00:15:51,123 --> 00:15:53,223 He made you to have people to help you because you… 360 00:15:53,223 --> 00:15:53,893 we need help. 361 00:15:54,283 --> 00:15:55,613 And that's, that's what a lot of this comes from. 362 00:15:55,613 --> 00:15:58,383 A lot of this comes from us being uh, not being honest with 363 00:15:58,383 --> 00:15:59,513 ourselves of, "I need friends. 364 00:15:59,843 --> 00:16:00,433 I really do." 365 00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:02,203 It's not just a… 366 00:16:02,353 --> 00:16:03,403 Friends aren't a luxury. 367 00:16:03,453 --> 00:16:04,453 Friends aren't optional. 368 00:16:05,503 --> 00:16:11,703 Your life requires friends, because you're gonna have real problems and 369 00:16:11,703 --> 00:16:16,103 real struggles and real sin, and you need real friends to help you. 370 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:17,723 You don't just need fun friends. 371 00:16:17,723 --> 00:16:19,283 You don't just need flaky friends. 372 00:16:19,283 --> 00:16:20,703 You need real friends. 373 00:16:22,663 --> 00:16:23,983 So find good friends. 374 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,033 Well, we talked about some lies about friendship, but what makes 375 00:16:26,043 --> 00:16:28,554 someone a good friend, right? 376 00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,204 What makes someone a good friend? 377 00:16:30,204 --> 00:16:32,473 If you're gonna look for friends, if you're gonna find friends that are 378 00:16:32,473 --> 00:16:35,533 really gonna be there when you need them to be, who are really gonna help 379 00:16:35,533 --> 00:16:41,453 you grow in wisdom and, and love Jesus, well, what makes someone a good friend? 380 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,253 Well, the first thing, I wanna ask you this, is, is do you even 381 00:16:45,253 --> 00:16:46,933 want the friends that you need? 382 00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,763 Because you might not want these type of friends. 383 00:16:52,813 --> 00:16:55,494 You might not want friends who are going to be the friends 384 00:16:55,503 --> 00:16:57,103 you need them to be, okay? 385 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,073 Let, let's start with this. 386 00:16:58,553 --> 00:17:02,563 Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a 387 00:17:02,643 --> 00:17:05,453 brother is born for adversity." 388 00:17:05,464 --> 00:17:07,193 Adversity is, like, when things are really hard. 389 00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:09,703 "A friend loves at all times. 390 00:17:09,742 --> 00:17:11,823 A brother is born for adversity." 391 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:13,893 Right? 392 00:17:13,893 --> 00:17:14,123 You… 393 00:17:14,512 --> 00:17:14,923 The, the… 394 00:17:14,963 --> 00:17:19,183 One of the things you should look for in a friend is someone who's loyal. 395 00:17:20,012 --> 00:17:20,373 Right? 396 00:17:21,002 --> 00:17:24,752 Someone who, who cares about you, not just when it's easy to care about 397 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:29,603 you or when it's convenient to care about you, but at all, all the times. 398 00:17:30,323 --> 00:17:30,403 Right? 399 00:17:30,403 --> 00:17:32,073 A brother is born for adversity. 400 00:17:32,073 --> 00:17:37,393 A, a best friend, a close friend is made for those situations when life is really 401 00:17:37,394 --> 00:17:42,354 hard, or when you don't know what you're gonna do next, when you don't know how 402 00:17:42,513 --> 00:17:47,343 you're gonna keep trusting the Lord, when you can't keep fighting that sin. 403 00:17:48,403 --> 00:17:49,864 That's when you need friends. 404 00:17:52,769 --> 00:17:52,799 Right? 405 00:17:52,809 --> 00:17:57,019 You, you want friends that actually love Jesus more than you. 406 00:17:58,279 --> 00:18:00,789 And what I mean by that, I don't just mean friends that, "Okay, I love Jesus 407 00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:02,149 this much, and they love Jesus more." 408 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,579 I mean friends that care about Jesus more than they care about you. 409 00:18:05,629 --> 00:18:08,199 Because those are the friends that are gonna care about you more. 410 00:18:08,829 --> 00:18:09,469 Does that make sense? 411 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:14,689 Because you need friends that are loyal to your good, not just what you want, right? 412 00:18:14,699 --> 00:18:19,479 In our, in our culture right now especially, but in general, we like 413 00:18:19,479 --> 00:18:22,729 surrounding ourselves with people that just affirm everything about us. 414 00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:24,339 That I heard, um… 415 00:18:25,319 --> 00:18:27,419 It was actually the same interview I mentioned at Revival about 416 00:18:27,419 --> 00:18:29,449 Tom Brady and his psychologist. 417 00:18:29,689 --> 00:18:32,479 He was talking about how all of these young athletes, their whole 418 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:37,109 life, they're surrounded by people who just say, "You're the best." 419 00:18:37,999 --> 00:18:38,169 Right? 420 00:18:38,169 --> 00:18:40,159 They- they're in high school, and they're the best player on their 421 00:18:40,159 --> 00:18:42,229 team, and all their teammates are like, "Oh, yeah, you're so good. 422 00:18:42,229 --> 00:18:42,549 You're so… 423 00:18:42,559 --> 00:18:43,269 You're, you're great. 424 00:18:43,269 --> 00:18:44,409 You don't need to listen to anyone." 425 00:18:44,579 --> 00:18:47,849 And their coach usually is like, well, they're the star player, so he's 426 00:18:47,849 --> 00:18:49,009 like, "Well, you're, you're the best. 427 00:18:49,009 --> 00:18:49,519 You're awesome." 428 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:52,559 And, and then they get an, an, an agent, and the agent is like, "You're so good. 429 00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:53,469 You deserve all this money. 430 00:18:53,469 --> 00:18:54,789 You're gonna g- do all these great things." 431 00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:57,089 And they're just surrounded by people that say, "You're great, you're 432 00:18:57,089 --> 00:18:58,239 great, you're great, you're great." 433 00:18:59,009 --> 00:19:02,629 And then these people never learn how to actually grow. 434 00:19:03,089 --> 00:19:04,639 These, these athletes, they, they… 435 00:19:04,699 --> 00:19:05,159 Whenever… 436 00:19:05,179 --> 00:19:07,579 Then they meet a coach who actually says, "You need to work on this," and 437 00:19:07,639 --> 00:19:12,099 they get offended because the coach is actually trying to coach them, right? 438 00:19:12,099 --> 00:19:13,730 The coach is actually trying to help them grow and they're 439 00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,359 like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 440 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,409 You don't think I'm the greatest baseball player of all time? 441 00:19:18,419 --> 00:19:19,190 What's wrong with you?" 442 00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:23,839 All right, you need friends who are committed to your good. 443 00:19:24,779 --> 00:19:26,639 They're not just committed to what you want to hear. 444 00:19:27,529 --> 00:19:33,159 Right, you need friends that are gonna be honest with you, right? 445 00:19:33,159 --> 00:19:37,239 And that's where this next thing goes in Proverbs 27:5-6. 446 00:19:38,159 --> 00:19:42,299 It says, "It's better to have open rebuke," right, it's better for someone 447 00:19:42,299 --> 00:19:46,089 to call you out for something, "than to love you and not tell you about it." 448 00:19:47,669 --> 00:19:49,599 It's better for someone to say, "Hey, you know what? 449 00:19:50,049 --> 00:19:58,809 Um, the way that you talk to people is … It comes across as really prideful." 450 00:20:00,369 --> 00:20:01,789 Maybe you need someone to tell you that. 451 00:20:02,729 --> 00:20:05,809 But if they never tell you, but they really care about you, but they never, 452 00:20:05,819 --> 00:20:09,399 they never show you that they care about you, that's not very helpful, right? 453 00:20:09,929 --> 00:20:12,699 It's better to have someone who's gonna tell you what they think and how to help 454 00:20:12,699 --> 00:20:15,209 you than to not say anything at all. 455 00:20:15,749 --> 00:20:18,119 And in verse six, this is one of my favorites. 456 00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:19,999 Faith … So the wounds of a friend are faithful. 457 00:20:19,999 --> 00:20:20,899 I know it's kinda backwards. 458 00:20:21,139 --> 00:20:21,699 It's like Yoda. 459 00:20:22,099 --> 00:20:24,539 But faithful are the wounds of a friend, right? 460 00:20:24,579 --> 00:20:26,029 The wounds of a friend are faithful. 461 00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:29,669 And then profuse, that means, like, a lot, like overflowing, 462 00:20:29,809 --> 00:20:31,590 right, are the kisses of an enemy. 463 00:20:31,769 --> 00:20:31,939 Right? 464 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:36,659 Someone who doesn't like you, they're gonna act like, "Oh, wow, you're so good." 465 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,759 They're gonna overflow with flattery, right? 466 00:20:39,179 --> 00:20:41,939 But a- someone who really cares about you, they're gonna wound you. 467 00:20:42,089 --> 00:20:43,079 That's what this proverb is saying. 468 00:20:43,269 --> 00:20:46,829 They're gonna tell you hard things, not because they wanna hurt you, 469 00:20:47,309 --> 00:20:48,229 but because they wanna help you. 470 00:20:49,629 --> 00:20:51,849 Um, Pastor Rod said it to me actually when I was in high school. 471 00:20:51,979 --> 00:20:53,989 He said, "You need friends who stab you in the front." 472 00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:59,689 You need friends who stab you in the front, not stab you in the back, right? 473 00:20:59,969 --> 00:21:02,759 You don't just want a bunch of friends who are gonna say, oh, uh, who are gonna 474 00:21:02,759 --> 00:21:03,919 lie to you and tell you how great you are. 475 00:21:03,919 --> 00:21:08,199 That might feel good for, for a little bit, but if you just surround yourself 476 00:21:08,199 --> 00:21:11,579 with friends who are, who are never gonna tell you hard things, who are never 477 00:21:11,579 --> 00:21:14,629 gonna call out sin in your life, who are never gonna challenge you to help 478 00:21:14,629 --> 00:21:18,329 you grow, who are never gonna disagree with you when you're being dumb, who 479 00:21:18,329 --> 00:21:19,829 are never gonna say, "You know what? 480 00:21:19,829 --> 00:21:23,069 We … You actually shouldn't, shouldn't go to that party," or, "You know what? 481 00:21:23,069 --> 00:21:27,279 You actually are really reckless with, with your words. 482 00:21:27,789 --> 00:21:30,149 Uh, you, you really should stop talking about that right now," or, 483 00:21:30,329 --> 00:21:33,279 "You really need to delete that app off your phone," or, "You're really 484 00:21:33,279 --> 00:21:34,749 lazy with your Bible reading," right? 485 00:21:34,749 --> 00:21:36,200 You need friends who will tell you that. 486 00:21:37,753 --> 00:21:40,033 Those are the kind of friends that care about your soul, right? 487 00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:42,413 They're loyal to you, to your good. 488 00:21:43,213 --> 00:21:45,253 They're not just loyal to you feeling good. 489 00:21:45,953 --> 00:21:48,433 They're loyal to actually what's good for you, right? 490 00:21:48,463 --> 00:21:49,743 They, they make you eat your vegetables. 491 00:21:51,173 --> 00:21:53,433 Now, you need friends like that. 492 00:21:54,643 --> 00:21:57,953 But you also need friends that, that know God's word, right? 493 00:21:58,513 --> 00:22:01,483 Um, later in this chapter, it says… 494 00:22:02,293 --> 00:22:04,313 All right, and the thing about back in the day, right, oil and 495 00:22:04,313 --> 00:22:06,783 perfume make the heart glad. 496 00:22:06,863 --> 00:22:08,083 Right, things that smell good. 497 00:22:08,753 --> 00:22:11,033 'Cause if you think, like, back then, they didn't have deodorant, they 498 00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:13,253 didn't have scented candles, they didn't have air fresheners, right? 499 00:22:13,613 --> 00:22:15,003 And they didn't have plumbing. 500 00:22:15,243 --> 00:22:17,173 So things that smelled good were great. 501 00:22:17,373 --> 00:22:18,723 Right, you loved things that smelled good. 502 00:22:19,993 --> 00:22:26,303 And what makes a friend smell good to your soul, right, is earnest counsel. 503 00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:26,853 What does that mean? 504 00:22:26,863 --> 00:22:28,053 It means they, they care. 505 00:22:28,163 --> 00:22:28,893 They're earnest, right? 506 00:22:28,893 --> 00:22:30,603 They, they, they care. 507 00:22:31,153 --> 00:22:32,643 And counsel, they're, they're wise. 508 00:22:32,783 --> 00:22:34,703 Right, they know God's word, and they care about you. 509 00:22:35,013 --> 00:22:37,043 And that's really what makes a friend a good friend. 510 00:22:38,133 --> 00:22:42,393 So I guess our point isn't that bad when you need to find God friends, right? 511 00:22:42,393 --> 00:22:46,383 You need to find friends that, that know God and that want you to love 512 00:22:46,383 --> 00:22:50,524 God, and they care more about you loving God than you liking them. 513 00:22:51,654 --> 00:22:51,914 Right? 514 00:22:51,914 --> 00:22:55,823 If your friends care about you liking them more than they care about your 515 00:22:55,823 --> 00:23:00,003 relationship with Jesus, that's not a good friend, 'cause they're never gonna 516 00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:03,823 risk anything to help you, 'cause they don't wanna mess up your relationship. 517 00:23:05,673 --> 00:23:09,503 But if they really care about you, right, they're gonna use God's word. 518 00:23:09,503 --> 00:23:12,293 They're gonna know God's word and, and use it in your life. 519 00:23:12,904 --> 00:23:12,984 Right? 520 00:23:12,993 --> 00:23:16,053 You need friends that, that are doing the things that we're talking 521 00:23:16,053 --> 00:23:20,413 about, right, that, that are applying God's word, taking things that God 522 00:23:20,413 --> 00:23:21,753 says and actually living it out. 523 00:23:22,383 --> 00:23:24,843 'Cause those are the friends that are really going to help you 524 00:23:28,801 --> 00:23:31,141 One thing that you maybe probably never thought about with a friend 525 00:23:32,271 --> 00:23:34,741 is, do I wanna be like this person? 526 00:23:34,931 --> 00:23:37,661 Not do I wanna like this person, but do I wanna be like this person? 527 00:23:37,661 --> 00:23:39,741 All right, think about your friends. 528 00:23:40,891 --> 00:23:41,931 You don't have to look at them right now. 529 00:23:42,771 --> 00:23:47,731 But think about them, and I want you to think, do I wanna be more like 530 00:23:47,731 --> 00:23:48,971 this person by the end of the year? 531 00:23:50,905 --> 00:23:52,445 Do I wanna, do I wanna act like them? 532 00:23:53,005 --> 00:23:56,065 Do I wanna talk to my parents like they talk to their parents? 533 00:23:57,005 --> 00:23:59,545 Do I, do I want to drive like them? 534 00:23:59,545 --> 00:24:00,815 Do I want to do my homework like them? 535 00:24:00,935 --> 00:24:03,095 Do I want to love Jesus the way they love Jesus? 536 00:24:04,345 --> 00:24:09,545 Do I wanna respond to hard situations the way they respond to hard situations? 537 00:24:11,865 --> 00:24:14,695 Do I wanna handle my emotions the way they handle their emotions? 538 00:24:15,845 --> 00:24:18,245 'Cause if you spend enough time around them, that's what you're gonna be. 539 00:24:18,335 --> 00:24:19,105 You're gonna be like them. 540 00:24:20,805 --> 00:24:24,285 So maybe when you think about who should I be friends with this year, or who 541 00:24:24,285 --> 00:24:28,415 should I be close friends with maybe, you should think about who do I wanna be like? 542 00:24:30,085 --> 00:24:34,415 Or when it's 2027, who do I, who do I wanna look like? 543 00:24:34,415 --> 00:24:35,205 Who do I wanna sound like? 544 00:24:35,205 --> 00:24:36,085 Who do I wanna talk like? 545 00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:39,035 Something else that you might not have thought about with friends 546 00:24:39,035 --> 00:24:40,345 is do I respect this person? 547 00:24:41,775 --> 00:24:43,615 Do I actually value this person? 548 00:24:44,635 --> 00:24:45,975 Right, uh, uh, what they say, right? 549 00:24:46,075 --> 00:24:48,245 Do, when this person gives me advice, would I listen? 550 00:24:49,245 --> 00:24:51,815 That's the person you wanna be friends with, right? 551 00:24:51,815 --> 00:24:53,985 You don't wanna be friends with the person who's, who you're like, 552 00:24:53,985 --> 00:24:54,815 "Oh, I don't care what they think. 553 00:24:54,855 --> 00:24:55,355 It doesn't matter." 554 00:24:56,195 --> 00:24:56,325 Right? 555 00:24:56,325 --> 00:24:57,415 That's not someone you wanna be friends with. 556 00:24:57,525 --> 00:25:00,725 'Cause they're, your friends are gonna give input into your life, and if you, 557 00:25:00,755 --> 00:25:04,515 if you don't respect them and their opinion, if you wouldn't listen to them, 558 00:25:04,515 --> 00:25:05,665 then why are you friends with them? 559 00:25:07,035 --> 00:25:09,285 And I'm not saying you sh- when I talk about friends, I hope you understand, 560 00:25:09,285 --> 00:25:11,835 I'm not trying to say you should never talk to these people, right? 561 00:25:11,835 --> 00:25:14,035 I'm saying that these are the people that you're, you're doing 562 00:25:14,035 --> 00:25:15,206 li- you're walking with, right? 563 00:25:15,206 --> 00:25:16,215 You're, you're running with. 564 00:25:16,225 --> 00:25:18,515 These are the people that you're spending your most time with, you're talking 565 00:25:18,515 --> 00:25:22,035 about your problems with, that you're sharing your happiness with, right? 566 00:25:22,035 --> 00:25:25,185 These are the people that are always at the top of your, your text message 567 00:25:25,185 --> 00:25:26,425 thing 'cause you're, you're texting them. 568 00:25:26,475 --> 00:25:27,965 They're involved in your life, right? 569 00:25:27,965 --> 00:25:29,555 You don't have to pin them 'cause they're already there. 570 00:25:31,245 --> 00:25:31,375 Right? 571 00:25:31,375 --> 00:25:32,425 I remember Shay and I were talking about this. 572 00:25:32,425 --> 00:25:33,955 She's like, "Why don't you have me pinned on your phone?" 573 00:25:34,495 --> 00:25:35,835 And I was like, "'Cause I'm always texting you. 574 00:25:35,835 --> 00:25:36,545 I don't need to pin you. 575 00:25:36,545 --> 00:25:38,875 You're always at the top of the, the li- message list, right?" 576 00:25:40,065 --> 00:25:40,265 Right? 577 00:25:40,265 --> 00:25:41,275 Those are the people I'm talking about. 578 00:25:41,295 --> 00:25:43,025 These are the people that you need to… 579 00:25:43,165 --> 00:25:44,495 You need to respect these people. 580 00:25:44,755 --> 00:25:46,275 You need to be willing to listen to these people. 581 00:25:46,675 --> 00:25:48,245 You need these people to care about you. 582 00:25:49,225 --> 00:25:51,255 They need to be there for you. 583 00:25:52,975 --> 00:25:57,775 And that's what the time, that's what you, you wanna look for, um, in a friend. 584 00:25:58,945 --> 00:26:01,135 Maybe you're thinking, uh, I don't have good friends. 585 00:26:01,165 --> 00:26:03,195 Maybe you've, you've heard this and you're like, "I don't, I don't have a 586 00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:05,855 lot of good friends," or maybe you're thinking, "I wish I had friends like 587 00:26:05,855 --> 00:26:07,025 that, but all my friends stink." 588 00:26:07,045 --> 00:26:08,075 Maybe that's what you're thinking. 589 00:26:08,426 --> 00:26:09,645 I hope not, but maybe you are. 590 00:26:09,965 --> 00:26:15,855 Um, the best way for you to find good friends is to be a good 591 00:26:15,855 --> 00:26:16,875 friend, and that's our second point. 592 00:26:16,885 --> 00:26:17,455 Be a good friend. 593 00:26:17,456 --> 00:26:18,285 I spelled it right this time. 594 00:26:19,355 --> 00:26:20,955 That's proof that I can spell. 595 00:26:22,525 --> 00:26:24,345 Be a good friend. 596 00:26:24,355 --> 00:26:29,625 Right, the best way to make friends is to start being a good friend 597 00:26:30,346 --> 00:26:34,795 because good friends will respond well to good friendship, right? 598 00:26:34,795 --> 00:26:37,695 If, if you take friendship seriously 599 00:26:39,873 --> 00:26:45,543 The good friends in your life will respond to that and follow 600 00:26:45,543 --> 00:26:46,773 your lead and take it seriously. 601 00:26:47,583 --> 00:26:47,683 Right? 602 00:26:47,683 --> 00:26:50,623 If you start talking about serious things, the good friends in your 603 00:26:50,623 --> 00:26:51,943 life will say, "Yeah, sign me up. 604 00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:52,643 I want more of that." 605 00:26:53,633 --> 00:26:53,833 Right? 606 00:26:53,833 --> 00:26:56,773 If you start taking your faith seriously and, and taking your relationship with 607 00:26:56,783 --> 00:27:01,163 God seriously, the bad friends in your life are gonna say, "Oh, you're weird now. 608 00:27:01,313 --> 00:27:02,513 You're not as fun as you used to be." 609 00:27:04,433 --> 00:27:05,933 The good friends in your life are gonna say, "I, I… 610 00:27:05,973 --> 00:27:06,523 This is great. 611 00:27:06,553 --> 00:27:07,453 I want more of this 612 00:27:09,913 --> 00:27:13,363 So if you start being a good friend, the good friends in your life will, will 613 00:27:13,363 --> 00:27:16,593 find you because they want more of that. 614 00:27:17,033 --> 00:27:19,623 And that's what makes them a good friend, is they want good friendship 615 00:27:22,681 --> 00:27:25,511 So God says a lot about what it looks like to be a good friend, 616 00:27:25,511 --> 00:27:26,711 and we talked about some of that. 617 00:27:27,831 --> 00:27:31,611 But we talked about being committed to the best interests of your friends, right? 618 00:27:31,621 --> 00:27:35,401 My mom always told me, "To love someone means you want what's best for them." 619 00:27:35,401 --> 00:27:38,051 It doesn't mean you have warm fuzzies about them. 620 00:27:38,351 --> 00:27:41,731 It doesn't mean that, that, you know, you get heart eyes when you see them. 621 00:27:42,051 --> 00:27:46,341 To love someone means you want what's good for them. 622 00:27:47,131 --> 00:27:49,941 You don't necessarily want what they want, you want what's good for them. 623 00:27:49,951 --> 00:27:51,441 You want what's best for them. 624 00:27:51,751 --> 00:27:55,291 And that's what, really what friendship is, is I am committed to your good. 625 00:27:56,651 --> 00:27:59,211 I don't care if you like me, I don't care if you want me. 626 00:27:59,741 --> 00:28:01,091 I care about your good. 627 00:28:02,331 --> 00:28:04,211 That's what good friends do. 628 00:28:04,911 --> 00:28:05,081 Right? 629 00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:05,921 Friendship is hard work. 630 00:28:05,921 --> 00:28:07,421 People are, are sinners. 631 00:28:07,651 --> 00:28:08,031 People… 632 00:28:08,031 --> 00:28:09,251 Uh, it's hard to be friends with me. 633 00:28:09,271 --> 00:28:10,981 I'm sure it's hard to be friends with you. 634 00:28:12,001 --> 00:28:15,071 People are hard to love, and so a good friend loves their friend 635 00:28:15,071 --> 00:28:16,911 when their friend's not lovable. 636 00:28:17,581 --> 00:28:18,331 That's what good friends do. 637 00:28:20,041 --> 00:28:20,331 Right? 638 00:28:20,831 --> 00:28:23,291 If you, if you're gonna be a good friend to someone, you should love them 639 00:28:23,291 --> 00:28:25,961 when they're at their worst, right? 640 00:28:25,961 --> 00:28:29,401 When they're mad at you, when they're not treating you well, when 641 00:28:31,587 --> 00:28:34,297 Things aren't going the way you want them to go, right? 642 00:28:34,307 --> 00:28:35,837 That's when good friends step up 643 00:28:38,251 --> 00:28:40,591 Um, good friends are, are humble, right? 644 00:28:40,591 --> 00:28:41,301 That's part of it, right? 645 00:28:41,301 --> 00:28:44,351 You have to care about the other person and their interests 646 00:28:44,771 --> 00:28:46,001 more than your own a lot. 647 00:28:47,101 --> 00:28:47,211 Right? 648 00:28:47,211 --> 00:28:52,551 Philippians 2 says, um, that we should count other people as 649 00:28:52,551 --> 00:28:53,991 more significant than ourselves. 650 00:28:55,481 --> 00:28:56,451 That we should say, "You know what? 651 00:28:56,481 --> 00:28:58,671 Your good is more important than my good." 652 00:28:59,641 --> 00:28:59,671 Right? 653 00:28:59,771 --> 00:29:01,371 Good friends are, are humble, right? 654 00:29:01,531 --> 00:29:03,811 No one wants to be friends with someone that's all about themselves. 655 00:29:04,081 --> 00:29:06,441 No one wants to be friends with a selfish person, right? 656 00:29:06,441 --> 00:29:09,631 A good friend is gonna put the other person's interests 657 00:29:09,711 --> 00:29:11,311 ahead of them- themselves. 658 00:29:11,331 --> 00:29:12,201 They're gonna say, "You know what? 659 00:29:12,641 --> 00:29:14,901 You need this more than I do right now. 660 00:29:15,381 --> 00:29:16,171 I'm here for you. 661 00:29:17,071 --> 00:29:18,511 I'm not in this friendship for me. 662 00:29:19,641 --> 00:29:23,721 I'm in this friendship to love you and to support you and for your good." 663 00:29:23,841 --> 00:29:23,961 Right? 664 00:29:23,961 --> 00:29:24,621 And that's humility. 665 00:29:25,621 --> 00:29:25,781 Right? 666 00:29:25,781 --> 00:29:28,681 If, if you're in your friendships for what you can get out of it- 667 00:29:31,833 --> 00:29:34,473 Someone might say that you're a parasite, right? 668 00:29:35,923 --> 00:29:38,983 Someone might say that, that you're just in the friendship to, to suck all the, all 669 00:29:38,983 --> 00:29:40,583 the energy out of the other person, right? 670 00:29:40,593 --> 00:29:42,953 You're not there to, to give anything to them 671 00:29:46,297 --> 00:29:49,277 Selfishness and envy will kill your friendships. 672 00:29:50,807 --> 00:29:51,947 They'll kill your friendships 673 00:29:59,417 --> 00:30:01,417 And it's really hard, right, to, to not be selfish. 674 00:30:01,417 --> 00:30:04,067 I mean, if you think about this, um, I don't know if you've… 675 00:30:05,787 --> 00:30:07,727 how deeply you've thought about this, but American sports are 676 00:30:07,727 --> 00:30:09,197 actually built on selfishness. 677 00:30:10,067 --> 00:30:12,627 Uh, because if you think, if you, if you really wanted to, right? 678 00:30:12,627 --> 00:30:14,697 'Cause you know how all the s- all the NFL players, all the NBA 679 00:30:14,697 --> 00:30:17,557 players, they say, "Oh, yeah, you know, my number one goal every year 680 00:30:17,557 --> 00:30:18,857 is to win the Super Bowl," right? 681 00:30:18,857 --> 00:30:20,517 "And I'm all about the team," whatever, right? 682 00:30:20,727 --> 00:30:21,317 Well, guess what? 683 00:30:21,557 --> 00:30:25,347 If you, you know, the, all the, all the best N- uh, NFL players, if they 684 00:30:25,347 --> 00:30:28,817 wanted to, they could all join the same team if they just took less money. 685 00:30:29,287 --> 00:30:30,227 You understand that, right? 686 00:30:30,777 --> 00:30:37,597 Like Miles Garrett and Patrick Mahomes and, um, Puka Nacua, and they 687 00:30:37,597 --> 00:30:38,817 could all just say, "You know what?" 688 00:30:38,847 --> 00:30:40,247 I guess half of them are on the Rams anyway. 689 00:30:40,537 --> 00:30:42,217 But they could all just say, "You know what? 690 00:30:42,227 --> 00:30:44,807 We're all gonna get on the best team together." 691 00:30:44,807 --> 00:30:51,057 If we all took $5 million a year, which is a lot of money, they could 692 00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:54,167 all just join the best team and, and get on the same team together. 693 00:30:54,177 --> 00:30:56,177 But you know why they don't do that? 694 00:30:56,747 --> 00:30:57,647 'Cause they're selfish. 695 00:30:58,737 --> 00:31:01,207 'Cause they don't wanna be a third-stringer on the best team. 696 00:31:02,097 --> 00:31:08,908 They'd rather be a starter and make more money on a okay team than form the, the 697 00:31:08,908 --> 00:31:10,817 Monstars, right, the, the All-Stars. 698 00:31:11,397 --> 00:31:14,037 And, but the Dodgers, they don't take less money. 699 00:31:14,037 --> 00:31:14,947 They just spend more money. 700 00:31:15,847 --> 00:31:16,002 Speaker 2: They, they don't 701 00:31:16,002 --> 00:31:16,337 Speaker: have to pay them back. 702 00:31:16,337 --> 00:31:18,257 Yeah, well, they, yeah, they defer all the payments. 703 00:31:24,729 --> 00:31:25,409 That's the Astros actually Weston, it's not, it's not the Dodgers' fault the 704 00:31:25,409 --> 00:31:26,849 Royals don't wanna spend money, okay? 705 00:31:31,001 --> 00:31:32,771 But anyway, even like any sport, right? 706 00:31:32,791 --> 00:31:33,101 The… 707 00:31:33,481 --> 00:31:34,731 If they wanted to, right? 708 00:31:34,741 --> 00:31:36,971 Like think about, think about basketball, right? 709 00:31:37,151 --> 00:31:38,861 Think about, think about basketball, right? 710 00:31:39,071 --> 00:31:41,991 All the good players, if they wanted to, could all get on the 711 00:31:41,991 --> 00:31:43,231 same team and just dominate. 712 00:31:43,971 --> 00:31:44,621 But they don't. 713 00:31:45,271 --> 00:31:47,011 They don't because they want more money, right? 714 00:31:48,881 --> 00:31:49,301 Selfish. 715 00:31:49,301 --> 00:31:49,571 They're selfish, exactly. 716 00:31:49,611 --> 00:31:52,721 If, if that's you in your friendships, right? 717 00:31:52,721 --> 00:31:55,991 If, if your whole friendship is, "Well, I care more about my 718 00:31:56,151 --> 00:31:59,981 wellbeing than my friend," you're, you're gonna tank your friendship 719 00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:09,117 We talked about this before, but your friendships need you to be honest. 720 00:32:10,097 --> 00:32:15,497 Proverbs 17:9 says, "Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats 721 00:32:15,567 --> 00:32:19,167 a matter separates close friends." 722 00:32:19,307 --> 00:32:19,547 Right? 723 00:32:19,547 --> 00:32:21,047 This is gossip right here, right? 724 00:32:21,047 --> 00:32:22,527 "Oh, did you hear about so-and-so? 725 00:32:23,067 --> 00:32:26,047 Did you know that so-and-so did this?" 726 00:32:27,807 --> 00:32:28,027 Right? 727 00:32:28,057 --> 00:32:30,077 A good friend is trustworthy, right? 728 00:32:30,077 --> 00:32:33,477 If you can't keep a secret, you're a, y- you're a bad friend. 729 00:32:34,387 --> 00:32:37,807 If you just have to tell everything about your friends to everyone, you 730 00:32:37,807 --> 00:32:39,637 are failing them as a friend, right? 731 00:32:39,637 --> 00:32:43,637 If you wanna find a good friend, find someone you can trust, right? 732 00:32:43,637 --> 00:32:46,617 When, when you tell them something, they need to be trustworthy. 733 00:32:46,767 --> 00:32:49,137 They need to be able to handle it well with wisdom 734 00:32:51,993 --> 00:32:55,073 But you also need to be honest, right? 735 00:32:55,073 --> 00:32:56,243 And that's this part right here. 736 00:32:56,243 --> 00:33:00,123 "Whoever covers an offense seeks love," right? 737 00:33:00,123 --> 00:33:04,463 You need to love people, your friends, enough to forgive them, right? 738 00:33:04,463 --> 00:33:08,923 If, if you are keeping score in your friendship, your friendship 739 00:33:08,943 --> 00:33:10,623 isn't gonna last very long, right? 740 00:33:10,623 --> 00:33:14,353 If, if you're easily offended, you're gonna be really hard to be friends with 741 00:33:18,993 --> 00:33:23,333 If you hold on to bitterness, you're not gonna be a very good friend. 742 00:33:23,763 --> 00:33:26,833 A few verses later, "The beginning of strife," right, conflict, "is 743 00:33:26,833 --> 00:33:31,723 like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out." 744 00:33:31,773 --> 00:33:32,603 I, I thought of this. 745 00:33:32,603 --> 00:33:37,243 So when I was a kid, um, at the beach, I didn't wanna surf or boogie 746 00:33:37,243 --> 00:33:38,543 board or go in the water or anything. 747 00:33:38,963 --> 00:33:41,583 I just wanted to, to build sandcastles when I was a kid. 748 00:33:42,153 --> 00:33:45,783 And so I would try to build sandcastles that would, like, survive a really 749 00:33:45,783 --> 00:33:47,093 long time after all the waves. 750 00:33:47,513 --> 00:33:50,313 And see, what happens with sand, right, is if there's, like, a hole 751 00:33:50,313 --> 00:33:53,593 in your wall, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, right? 752 00:33:53,593 --> 00:33:56,133 You have to, you have to cover the hole immediately, right? 753 00:33:56,133 --> 00:33:57,013 You c- you can't wait. 754 00:33:57,123 --> 00:33:58,363 You gotta cover it right away. 755 00:34:00,273 --> 00:34:05,533 The longer you, you let the hole grow, and the more water you let come in, 756 00:34:05,563 --> 00:34:07,023 it just destroys the whole thing. 757 00:34:08,132 --> 00:34:11,973 And that's kinda like if you have conflict with someone, right, someone offends you, 758 00:34:12,652 --> 00:34:15,053 you gotta deal with it right away, right? 759 00:34:15,063 --> 00:34:18,652 You can't just hold onto it and s- and just get angrier and angrier 760 00:34:18,663 --> 00:34:20,342 and more upset about it, right? 761 00:34:20,342 --> 00:34:22,873 You, you deal with it there instead of saying, "Well, oh, can you 762 00:34:22,873 --> 00:34:24,803 believe that they said this to me?" 763 00:34:24,803 --> 00:34:26,763 And you tell your other friend, and then you tell your other friend. 764 00:34:26,764 --> 00:34:29,422 Or, "Yeah, this person did this to me, and c- you know, have they 765 00:34:29,422 --> 00:34:30,433 ever done this, like, to you?" 766 00:34:30,983 --> 00:34:31,143 Right? 767 00:34:31,143 --> 00:34:35,223 You spread it, and it, it, it ru- it just destroys everything, right? 768 00:34:35,283 --> 00:34:37,243 You need to be able to resolve conflict with your friends. 769 00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:40,043 You need to go to them and say, "Hey, you know, that was really hurtful. 770 00:34:40,132 --> 00:34:43,243 You know, I'd appreciate if you didn't say things this way." 771 00:34:44,213 --> 00:34:44,454 You know? 772 00:34:44,454 --> 00:34:45,763 Is … Or maybe you talk about it. 773 00:34:45,764 --> 00:34:48,663 You say, "Is there anything that I need to do to be a better friend to you?" 774 00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:49,313 Right? 775 00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:53,013 You have to be quick to address conflict. 776 00:34:53,612 --> 00:34:57,083 Uh, you also need to be vulnerable to be a good friend, 'cause being, 777 00:34:57,213 --> 00:34:59,904 being a good friend is risky because you're putting yourself 778 00:34:59,904 --> 00:35:01,973 out there to, to get burned, right? 779 00:35:01,973 --> 00:35:03,243 You pour yourself into someone. 780 00:35:03,243 --> 00:35:04,263 You care about their good. 781 00:35:04,373 --> 00:35:05,223 You pray for them. 782 00:35:05,233 --> 00:35:06,853 You, you invest in them. 783 00:35:06,883 --> 00:35:08,653 You ask them questions, and then they leave you. 784 00:35:09,073 --> 00:35:09,733 They burn you. 785 00:35:10,823 --> 00:35:12,993 They let you down, right? 786 00:35:12,993 --> 00:35:14,483 It's risky to be a good friend. 787 00:35:15,193 --> 00:35:20,923 You have to … You, you're setting yourself up to, to get hurt, and you 788 00:35:20,923 --> 00:35:22,373 have to be vulnerable to do that. 789 00:35:23,423 --> 00:35:25,243 Um, but you also have to be willing to put in more than 790 00:35:25,253 --> 00:35:27,153 you'll get out sometimes, right? 791 00:35:27,163 --> 00:35:28,653 Friendships are not 50/50. 792 00:35:30,617 --> 00:35:32,297 They might be, but they might not be. 793 00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:33,307 Right? 794 00:35:33,307 --> 00:35:35,867 If, if you're going into your friendship trying to get out what you 795 00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:40,507 put in, if that's your goal, that's not gonna go very well because you're 796 00:35:40,507 --> 00:35:42,787 gonna be constantly thinking, "Oh, well, this person's not doing this, 797 00:35:42,787 --> 00:35:44,457 they're not doing this, they're not doing this, they're not doing this." 798 00:35:48,761 --> 00:35:50,881 But also, it's okay if you're not a perfect friend 799 00:35:53,601 --> 00:35:54,601 No one's a perfect friend. 800 00:35:55,941 --> 00:35:57,701 Right, one of the best ways to make friends is actually to 801 00:35:57,701 --> 00:35:59,441 share that you're not perfect. 802 00:36:00,811 --> 00:36:00,971 Right? 803 00:36:00,971 --> 00:36:04,581 One of the best ways to get to know someone is to confess your sin, right? 804 00:36:04,581 --> 00:36:05,891 To be vulnerable, to be open. 805 00:36:06,771 --> 00:36:08,271 And sometimes you have to take initiative. 806 00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:11,641 Maybe you're saying, "Well, I, I, no one ever gets to, to share stuff 807 00:36:11,641 --> 00:36:14,641 with me, and I don't feel like my friendships are getting deep, and I'm 808 00:36:14,641 --> 00:36:16,601 not growing and to get to know people." 809 00:36:16,601 --> 00:36:17,601 Well, maybe you need to start. 810 00:36:17,871 --> 00:36:19,901 Maybe they're waiting for you to open up. 811 00:36:24,761 --> 00:36:27,371 So don't wait until you're perfect to be a good friend, right? 812 00:36:27,421 --> 00:36:29,431 Maybe you're thinking, "Well, I'm just not a-- I'm not-- I 813 00:36:29,431 --> 00:36:30,301 don't have my life together. 814 00:36:31,051 --> 00:36:31,961 I can't be a good friend." 815 00:36:33,681 --> 00:36:35,891 Well, if you just keep waiting till you're perfect, guess what? 816 00:36:37,081 --> 00:36:38,701 You're never gonna be a good friend at all 817 00:36:40,929 --> 00:36:44,589 And the last thing to being a good friend is, uh, you need to love Jesus 818 00:36:44,589 --> 00:36:45,679 more than you love your friends. 819 00:36:47,609 --> 00:36:51,839 Because if you love your friends more than you love Jesus, you 820 00:36:51,839 --> 00:36:53,919 are doing them a disservice 821 00:36:56,449 --> 00:37:01,559 Um, when Shay and I got married, our first vow, or at least my first vow 822 00:37:02,249 --> 00:37:06,849 on, when I wrote them out was, "I will love Jesus more than I love you." 823 00:37:08,109 --> 00:37:08,269 Right? 824 00:37:08,269 --> 00:37:12,409 That's what I, I promised to her almost two years ago. 825 00:37:13,439 --> 00:37:20,099 And the reason I said that is not because I don't care about her, but the best 826 00:37:20,099 --> 00:37:24,109 thing I can do is to love Jesus most. 827 00:37:25,169 --> 00:37:27,649 And the best thing you can do as a friend is love Jesus most. 828 00:37:28,059 --> 00:37:32,279 Because if you need your friends more than you need Jesus, you're putting your 829 00:37:32,289 --> 00:37:34,219 friends in a position that they can't be. 830 00:37:34,439 --> 00:37:35,989 Your friends can't be Jesus for you. 831 00:37:36,489 --> 00:37:37,989 Your friends can't be your savior. 832 00:37:38,519 --> 00:37:40,439 Your friends can't fix all your problems. 833 00:37:40,639 --> 00:37:42,369 Your friends can't forgive your sins. 834 00:37:42,419 --> 00:37:44,489 Your friends can't give you the peace and comfort and 835 00:37:44,489 --> 00:37:46,049 security that you need from God. 836 00:37:47,359 --> 00:37:50,529 So if, if you love your friends more than you love Jesus, that's called an idol. 837 00:37:51,439 --> 00:37:53,619 And the best thing you can do for your friends is love 838 00:37:53,619 --> 00:37:55,709 Jesus more than your friends. 839 00:37:56,069 --> 00:37:58,669 There was one author, the way he put it is, "You need to start loving 840 00:37:58,669 --> 00:38:00,229 people and stop needing people." 841 00:38:01,569 --> 00:38:01,669 Right? 842 00:38:01,670 --> 00:38:04,589 If you just need people, you need people to fill all the emptiness in your 843 00:38:04,589 --> 00:38:08,580 life, that's turning them into an idol. 844 00:38:08,799 --> 00:38:10,849 You're asking them to do what God needs to do 845 00:38:13,337 --> 00:38:18,377 But all of your best friends, even if they're awesome, will let you down, right? 846 00:38:18,957 --> 00:38:22,387 And that's why our third point is to make friends with Jesus. 847 00:38:24,127 --> 00:38:26,437 Make friends with Jesus 848 00:38:32,151 --> 00:38:37,621 I know some people, this is weird to them for a few reasons. 849 00:38:38,471 --> 00:38:38,551 Right? 850 00:38:38,561 --> 00:38:39,661 You can't see Jesus. 851 00:38:40,441 --> 00:38:41,871 You can't give Jesus a high five. 852 00:38:43,331 --> 00:38:48,001 You can't go play soccer with Jesus, which that would be his 853 00:38:48,001 --> 00:38:49,851 favorite sport if, if he had one. 854 00:38:51,811 --> 00:38:57,221 Um, but this is kinda weird for some… 855 00:38:57,271 --> 00:39:00,121 Some people, this is even potentially dangerous, right? 856 00:39:00,121 --> 00:39:02,841 Because they, they, they don't want you to call Jesus their friend because, 857 00:39:03,441 --> 00:39:06,801 um, or your friend, because they think that's lowering Jesus, right? 858 00:39:06,831 --> 00:39:07,641 Jesus is the king. 859 00:39:07,951 --> 00:39:09,611 Jesus is the Lord, right? 860 00:39:09,611 --> 00:39:10,571 He's not just your buddy. 861 00:39:11,281 --> 00:39:13,461 Which is true, he is the king. 862 00:39:14,661 --> 00:39:15,721 But King Jesus 863 00:39:18,377 --> 00:39:24,377 Says that if you are trusting in Him, you're His friend, right? 864 00:39:24,377 --> 00:39:26,117 You get to be friends with the King. 865 00:39:27,427 --> 00:39:30,807 And that's why when we talk about following Jesus, we don't just say, "Oh 866 00:39:30,807 --> 00:39:32,297 yeah, do all the things Jesus says." 867 00:39:32,807 --> 00:39:32,987 Right? 868 00:39:32,987 --> 00:39:34,367 When he says jump, you say how high. 869 00:39:34,797 --> 00:39:35,337 It's true. 870 00:39:36,077 --> 00:39:36,247 Right? 871 00:39:36,247 --> 00:39:37,557 If Jesus says do something, you do it. 872 00:39:38,777 --> 00:39:40,397 But there's also a closeness. 873 00:39:40,727 --> 00:39:45,777 There's a personal just, there's a friendship that you have 874 00:39:45,777 --> 00:39:47,287 with Jesus when you follow Him. 875 00:39:48,407 --> 00:39:50,887 It doesn't lower Him, it's just you're adding, right? 876 00:39:50,887 --> 00:39:53,097 You're not taking away from his kingship, his authority. 877 00:39:53,507 --> 00:39:56,477 You're just adding on friendship to that, right? 878 00:39:56,477 --> 00:39:58,927 He says this in John 15. 879 00:40:00,407 --> 00:40:02,547 He says, "You're my friends if you do what I command you." 880 00:40:02,597 --> 00:40:04,027 Now, that sounds really weird, right? 881 00:40:04,697 --> 00:40:06,417 None of your friends should ever tell you this. 882 00:40:07,387 --> 00:40:10,587 None of your friends that are human should ever say, "Yep, you'll, you can 883 00:40:10,587 --> 00:40:12,247 be my friend if you obey me," right? 884 00:40:12,257 --> 00:40:13,887 That's, don't, don't be friends with… 885 00:40:13,927 --> 00:40:16,737 If, if anyone else says that to you, don't be friends with them, right? 886 00:40:16,737 --> 00:40:17,687 You should probably run away. 887 00:40:18,067 --> 00:40:21,817 If they say, "Yeah, if you obey my every command, you could be my friend," right? 888 00:40:21,817 --> 00:40:22,337 That's weird. 889 00:40:22,977 --> 00:40:23,917 No one should say that. 890 00:40:24,087 --> 00:40:27,677 But the reason that Jesus says that is 'cause when you think about 891 00:40:27,677 --> 00:40:29,798 it, why does God give us commands? 892 00:40:30,937 --> 00:40:32,257 Why does God give us commands? 893 00:40:32,337 --> 00:40:33,787 Right, maybe you think, okay, well, He gives us commands 'cause 894 00:40:33,787 --> 00:40:34,827 they're for our good, right? 895 00:40:34,827 --> 00:40:35,627 They protect us. 896 00:40:35,757 --> 00:40:36,367 They help us. 897 00:40:36,968 --> 00:40:37,577 It's one reason. 898 00:40:38,327 --> 00:40:43,827 Another reason God gives us commands is because it helps us be close with Him. 899 00:40:45,007 --> 00:40:49,247 Maybe you've never thought about that before, but God's commands, right, 900 00:40:49,247 --> 00:40:54,447 the, the things that Jesus asks you to do, are to help you be close with Him. 901 00:40:56,037 --> 00:40:58,117 They're to develop your relationship with Him 902 00:41:00,321 --> 00:41:03,471 Now Jesus gives you commands to help you love Him. 903 00:41:04,161 --> 00:41:08,211 So obeying Jesus is the same thing as being close with Jesus, right? 904 00:41:08,221 --> 00:41:11,961 Sometimes I think we can make those things separate in our heads, right? 905 00:41:11,961 --> 00:41:15,211 Well, some things I do, I obey Jesus because He's the Lord, and then some 906 00:41:15,211 --> 00:41:16,631 things I do because it's personal, right? 907 00:41:16,631 --> 00:41:19,871 Maybe you think, "Yeah, I read my Bible because I'm obeying Jesus, 908 00:41:19,931 --> 00:41:22,411 but I sing songs to Jesus because I'm being close with Jesus." 909 00:41:22,731 --> 00:41:24,301 It's like, well, that's, is all the same thing 910 00:41:27,907 --> 00:41:29,967 And maybe you're someone out there, maybe you think I am friends with 911 00:41:29,967 --> 00:41:32,477 Jesus, but you don't do what he says. 912 00:41:34,037 --> 00:41:36,917 Well, Jesus would say, "Sorry, you're not, you're not my friend." 913 00:41:38,537 --> 00:41:38,727 Right? 914 00:41:38,727 --> 00:41:41,607 If, if you call Jesus your friend and you don't do anything he says, 915 00:41:41,617 --> 00:41:44,377 if you're disobeying him, you're dishonoring him, you're disrespecting 916 00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:48,067 him, you're not his friend, right? 917 00:41:48,127 --> 00:41:51,357 You're gonna, you're gonna stand there and say, "Oh, Jesus, my friend, 918 00:41:52,557 --> 00:41:53,467 it's time for me to go to heaven." 919 00:41:53,477 --> 00:41:55,127 And he's gonna say, "Depart from me, I never knew you." 920 00:41:56,877 --> 00:41:58,597 So don't trick yourself into thinking you're friends with 921 00:41:58,597 --> 00:41:59,897 Jesus if you're really not, right? 922 00:42:01,317 --> 00:42:05,977 But he gives us this great privilege of, hey, y- if you're following me, 923 00:42:06,057 --> 00:42:09,817 you're not just my servant, you are his, his slave if you follow Jesus, 924 00:42:10,197 --> 00:42:15,817 but you're also his friends because he, he lifts you, he brings you up from 925 00:42:15,817 --> 00:42:19,317 your, your position of, of slave and says, "I, I'll be your friend too." 926 00:42:22,039 --> 00:42:31,609 And so I just want you all to see how amazing of a friend Jesus is. 927 00:42:32,769 --> 00:42:37,819 Um, in John 13:1, this is one of my favorite verses in the Bible actually. 928 00:42:38,319 --> 00:42:43,469 Um, now before the Passover, right, so Jesus, he's about to die, right? 929 00:42:43,729 --> 00:42:46,869 When Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from the world to be 930 00:42:46,869 --> 00:42:50,449 with the Father, having loved his own, the disciples who were in the 931 00:42:50,449 --> 00:42:52,889 world, he loved them to the end. 932 00:42:54,169 --> 00:42:58,979 Which this is, this is just the, the coolest thing, right? 933 00:42:58,989 --> 00:43:01,139 Jesus lived with these people, his disciples, right? 934 00:43:01,139 --> 00:43:06,639 Peter, James, John, Matthew, Judas. 935 00:43:07,439 --> 00:43:08,489 Judas, not Iscariot. 936 00:43:08,509 --> 00:43:09,269 The other Judas, right? 937 00:43:09,529 --> 00:43:16,369 Bartholomew, Nathaniel, all these people, and he, he loved them to the end. 938 00:43:17,499 --> 00:43:17,659 Right? 939 00:43:17,669 --> 00:43:20,929 Jesus loves you if you're his friend. 940 00:43:21,089 --> 00:43:26,339 He loves you more than you could even comprehend, and maybe you don't 941 00:43:27,340 --> 00:43:33,909 even care, but Jesus loves you more than you think someone could love you 942 00:43:36,153 --> 00:43:36,833 And that's why he's the best friend, 'cause he, he cares 943 00:43:36,833 --> 00:43:37,003 about you more than all of your friends care about you combined 944 00:43:42,891 --> 00:43:43,121 Right? 945 00:43:43,181 --> 00:43:49,321 Jesus cares about you and your good more than anyone else possibly could. 946 00:43:49,781 --> 00:43:52,171 He'll be more patient with you, right? 947 00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:52,781 You never… 948 00:43:52,821 --> 00:43:56,961 I, I know sometimes I worry, "Man, I, I can't believe this person's friends 949 00:43:56,961 --> 00:43:59,611 with me because I'm such a loser." 950 00:44:00,341 --> 00:44:00,511 Right? 951 00:44:00,511 --> 00:44:01,831 I, I feel that sometimes. 952 00:44:02,351 --> 00:44:03,221 But I can say, "You know what? 953 00:44:03,221 --> 00:44:08,641 Jesus will never be so impatient with me that he'll just say, 954 00:44:08,651 --> 00:44:09,761 'Sorry, Lewis, I'm done. 955 00:44:10,341 --> 00:44:11,351 I can't be your friend anymore. 956 00:44:11,351 --> 00:44:12,191 You're too hard to love.'" 957 00:44:13,191 --> 00:44:18,011 Jesus will never feel that way about you And Jesus is the most 958 00:44:18,011 --> 00:44:20,141 kind person you could ever meet. 959 00:44:21,251 --> 00:44:22,961 And maybe that's hard for you to comprehend because you don't 960 00:44:22,971 --> 00:44:25,441 know him that well, right? 961 00:44:25,441 --> 00:44:28,091 And that, and that's why he's given us his word, right? 962 00:44:28,091 --> 00:44:32,801 You can meet Jesus and hear from him every day. 963 00:44:34,131 --> 00:44:37,561 And you b- you can befriend him and talk to him and hear from him and live 964 00:44:37,561 --> 00:44:40,701 life with him and be close with him. 965 00:44:41,921 --> 00:44:42,371 And these are… 966 00:44:42,421 --> 00:44:45,921 It's so hard for me to explain this to you if you're just out there 967 00:44:45,921 --> 00:44:46,971 and you're saying, "It's not real. 968 00:44:46,971 --> 00:44:47,591 I don't want this. 969 00:44:47,591 --> 00:44:50,461 I don't like this," because it's, you just feel it. 970 00:44:50,491 --> 00:44:53,301 It's one of the things you know when you know, right? 971 00:44:53,301 --> 00:44:58,881 If, if you follow Jesus and you really do it, you'll get there, right? 972 00:44:58,891 --> 00:45:03,471 You, you'll, you'll come to know Jesus, that he's, he's so faithful, right? 973 00:45:03,471 --> 00:45:07,381 Jesus never forgets about anything about you. 974 00:45:07,401 --> 00:45:10,021 He doesn't show up late to something that he was supposed to be at. 975 00:45:10,021 --> 00:45:12,761 He doesn't forget to, to send you the thing he's supposed to send you. 976 00:45:12,761 --> 00:45:14,051 He doesn't, he doesn't forget about that. 977 00:45:15,261 --> 00:45:19,171 A- and what I love about Jesus too is, uh, he's like us, but he's not 978 00:45:19,171 --> 00:45:20,441 like us at the same time, right? 979 00:45:20,441 --> 00:45:21,281 He's, he's like you. 980 00:45:21,291 --> 00:45:21,751 He's human. 981 00:45:21,752 --> 00:45:22,781 He knows what it's like to be human. 982 00:45:22,781 --> 00:45:24,041 Jesus knows what it's like to have parents. 983 00:45:24,252 --> 00:45:25,861 He knows what it's like to have people let him down. 984 00:45:25,871 --> 00:45:28,831 He knows what it's like to, to stub his toe. 985 00:45:28,841 --> 00:45:30,291 He knows what it's like to eat vegetables. 986 00:45:30,291 --> 00:45:31,831 Jesus knows what it's like to get sick. 987 00:45:32,081 --> 00:45:35,101 He knows what it's like to have friends that, at school, 988 00:45:35,101 --> 00:45:36,071 that, that make fun of him. 989 00:45:36,072 --> 00:45:40,611 He knows what it's like to, to have parents misunderstand him. 990 00:45:40,611 --> 00:45:42,541 He knows, he knows what it's like to be you. 991 00:45:42,711 --> 00:45:46,921 He knows what it's like to be 14 or 16 or 12. 992 00:45:47,971 --> 00:45:50,531 He knows everything, right? 993 00:45:50,541 --> 00:45:52,261 He's, he's literally been there and done that. 994 00:45:54,001 --> 00:45:58,181 But then at the same time, he's totally unlike anyone you'll ever meet, right? 995 00:45:58,201 --> 00:46:00,231 Because he's, he's, he's God, right? 996 00:46:00,231 --> 00:46:04,841 He's, he's so wise, and he's, he's perfect, and he cares so much more than 997 00:46:04,841 --> 00:46:08,941 you could care, and he knows so much more than you could know, and he always 998 00:46:08,941 --> 00:46:10,831 does exactly what he says he's gonna do. 999 00:46:10,861 --> 00:46:16,211 And it's, it's amazing to be friends with Jesus. 1000 00:46:18,021 --> 00:46:21,511 And so maybe this is totally foreign to you. 1001 00:46:23,121 --> 00:46:26,221 And I, I, I want you to know that you can have Jesus this way. 1002 00:46:27,461 --> 00:46:30,821 You can have Jesus as your friend. 1003 00:46:32,141 --> 00:46:33,702 Still your king, yes. 1004 00:46:33,991 --> 00:46:36,131 Still your Lord, but your friend. 1005 00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:44,391 And he will be with you and walk life with you every day, right? 1006 00:46:44,391 --> 00:46:50,481 And you can have him just like that for your good forever. 1007 00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:53,801 And then one day you get to be with him and see him. 1008 00:46:54,201 --> 00:46:56,232 And again, the, the whole point, this is what being a 1009 00:46:56,232 --> 00:46:58,461 Christian is all about, right? 1010 00:46:58,461 --> 00:47:01,191 It's not about, "Oh Jesus, I just want you to get me to heaven so I can forget 1011 00:47:01,191 --> 00:47:02,581 about you and not need you anymore." 1012 00:47:03,871 --> 00:47:06,862 Being a Christian is all about being friends with Jesus 1013 00:47:08,729 --> 00:47:11,199 'Cause I, I, I want Jesus. 1014 00:47:11,289 --> 00:47:11,989 I know him. 1015 00:47:11,989 --> 00:47:15,189 I, I've heard from him my whole life, and, and one day I'm gonna see 1016 00:47:15,209 --> 00:47:16,669 him, and we're gonna be together. 1017 00:47:17,669 --> 00:47:18,549 That's the whole point 1018 00:47:21,217 --> 00:47:24,237 And so maybe for some of you, you're just like, "Yes, I love-- This is it. 1019 00:47:24,277 --> 00:47:25,677 This is, this is what I'm here for." 1020 00:47:26,627 --> 00:47:28,547 And maybe for some of you, you're like, "I, I kinda get some of 1021 00:47:28,547 --> 00:47:31,557 that," and I just invite you to l- lean in to friendship with Jesus. 1022 00:47:31,557 --> 00:47:33,087 And for some of you, this is totally foreign. 1023 00:47:33,087 --> 00:47:34,197 You're saying, "I don't, I don't get it." 1024 00:47:35,907 --> 00:47:38,597 And Jesus is-- They call him the friend of sinners, right? 1025 00:47:38,597 --> 00:47:40,937 You're not below anything. 1026 00:47:42,657 --> 00:47:45,857 Jesus will befriend you if you let him. 1027 00:47:45,857 --> 00:47:49,457 Let's pray, and we'll talk about that more in small groups. 1028 00:47:54,563 --> 00:48:01,073 God, we are amazed that you would want to be friends with us 1029 00:48:04,153 --> 00:48:05,923 You don't need to be friends with us. 1030 00:48:06,403 --> 00:48:08,603 You didn't make us because you were lonely. 1031 00:48:09,393 --> 00:48:12,163 You didn't make us because you needed help. 1032 00:48:12,753 --> 00:48:14,903 You didn't make us because you were bored. 1033 00:48:15,563 --> 00:48:17,853 Um, you made us so that you could love us. 1034 00:48:17,953 --> 00:48:22,353 And so I pray for, for all of us here that we would be able to have 1035 00:48:22,353 --> 00:48:23,693 a closer relationship with you. 1036 00:48:23,693 --> 00:48:26,433 For some students here, I pray that they would start a relationship with you 1037 00:48:26,723 --> 00:48:31,953 today, that they would turn from their sin, put their trust in Jesus to remove 1038 00:48:31,953 --> 00:48:37,003 their, the hostility between them and you, that they would let go of living 1039 00:48:37,003 --> 00:48:38,473 for themselves and start living for you. 1040 00:48:40,153 --> 00:48:42,653 I pray for students here who maybe it's hard for them to be friends 1041 00:48:42,653 --> 00:48:44,113 with you, uh, but they want to be. 1042 00:48:44,173 --> 00:48:45,133 I pray that you help them. 1043 00:48:45,443 --> 00:48:48,233 I pray that they trust you, that they cry out to you and ask for help. 1044 00:48:49,583 --> 00:48:52,973 And I pray for all of us here that we would just enjoy 1045 00:48:52,993 --> 00:48:54,303 closer friendship with you. 1046 00:48:55,123 --> 00:48:58,103 So we're grateful for you, and we pray all these things in Jesus' name. 1047 00:48:58,283 --> 00:48:58,633 Amen