Forrest Kelly 00:00:00

Welcome. Welcome to The Best 5 Minute Wine Podcast with Forrest Kelly.

Sour Grapes 00:00:06

Hey, Forrest, I've got a great idea for St. Patrick's Day. It's not gonna require you to drink wine out of a leprechaun's shoe, because that would actually be an improvement over some of your ideas. Oh.

Forrest Kelly 00:00:16

That's the way to start the show off. Okay. All right. If you want to do it, let's. Let's hear your idea.

Sour Grapes 00:00:23

If we have to do this, we'll start with a boring white wine.

Forrest Kelly 00:00:26

Okay?

Sour Grapes 00:00:26

Something light, something dark, like a sauvignon blanc. The kind of wine that pair with disappointment. Step one, add the green the wrong way first. Now, any normal person would just use green food coloring, right? But no, let's complicate it first. Let's throw in some spinach. Cause what health, right? Oh, look, now we have a salad floating in our wine. This is going well.

Forrest Kelly 00:00:49

Absolutely.

Sour Grapes 00:00:50

Step two. Or better yet, let's crush up some green Skittles. Because why should beer have all the artificial fun? Who needs dignity when you can have candy flavored regret?

Forrest Kelly 00:00:59

You're putting spinach in your sauvignon and Skittles. Okay? This is going really well.

Sour Grapes 00:01:07

The magical transformation. All right, let's do it. Right. A few drops of green food coloring. Boom. Now it looks like a science experiment gone wrong. Perfect for celebrating a holiday where people drink things they'll regret later.

Forrest Kelly 00:01:20

You got that?

Sour Grapes 00:01:21

Give it a fancy, misleading name. We can't just call it green wine. No, no. We have to make it sound classy.

Forrest Kelly 00:01:28

Of course.

Sour Grapes 00:01:29

How about Emerald Elixir of Desperation?

Forrest Kelly 00:01:31

Okay.

Sour Grapes 00:01:31

Or Shamrock Sauvignon now with Extra Poor Life Ch. Step 5, Taste Test and instant regret. Ah, yes. Just as I expected. This tastes like white wine with a bad attitude. But, hey, at least it's green. Pairing recommendations. This fine, artificially enhanced wine pairs well with overcooked corned beef. Bad decisions and calling in sick to work on Tuesday.

Forrest Kelly 00:01:57

Make sure you have a safe St. Patrick's Day and drink responsibly.

Sour Grapes 00:02:02

As they say, this is Sour Grapes. Pouring grumpy wisdom one glass at a time. The Best 5 Minute Wine Podcast.