Lisa Marie Rankin [00:00:00]:

What if your desire wasn't a distraction, but a guide? What if beauty, sensuality and pleasure weren't indulgences, but sacred forces to be harnessed and wielded? In this episode, I delve into the lover archetype, the wild magnetic pulse of life that resides within you. So if you've ever felt like desire makes you dangerous, like too much beauty makes you shallow, or that longing should be tucked away, this episode episode might just seduce you back to yourself. Let's dive in. Welcome to the Goddess School Podcast. A space for women who want to reclaim their story, awaken their archetypal power and live mythically. I'm Lisa Marie Rankin, author, teacher and your mythic guide. I help women step beyond self help and into soul work by weaving together Jungian psychology, storytelling, ritual and feminine wisdom traditions. In each episode you'll find personal reflections, mythic frameworks and soul stirring conversations designed to help you re enchant your everyday life and become the heroine of your next chapter.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:01:17]:

This isn't about fixing yourself. It's about becoming the woman you are meant to be. The veil is parting. The ship is setting sail. Let's begin. Hello beautiful listeners and welcome back to the Goddess School podcast. So today I want to talk about one of my favorite archetypes and I know I probably say that about all of them. But you know that feeling when you're newly in love and everything feels sparkly, when your skin glows, walking feels more like bouncing and you see beauty everywhere.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:01:56]:

That shimmer, that feeling of aliveness isn't just chemistry or hormones. It's the lover archetype moving through you. I've heard author, spiritual teacher and political activist Marianne Williamson say that this feeling is not just hormones and is not supposed to be short lived, but it's an offering. It's a mini enlightenment experience that shouldn't be be confined to new love or the bedroom, but rather a way of life. It's a reminder of how we can actually approach life. So today I want to dive into the lover archetype and why I believe this archetype is so essential to our well being and also to our spiritual evolution. So let's talk about the lover. The lover is arrows desire, but embodied.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:02:54]:

And the lover isn't just about sexual energy, but creative energy and spiritual energy. They are all the same. It's the part of you who wants to make love, write a book and connect with the divine. The lover is the reason that you want to get out of bed in the morning and evolve. The lover experiences the world through her senses. And that's really what sensuality is. It's not a facade, but it is experiencing through the world, through the senses, like taste, touch, smell, sight and sound. And you can access your inner lover.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:03:30]:

Whenever you're savoring the delight of a warm bath, you pause to watch a sunset, maybe melting into your partner's arm or petting your dog as if it was the most sacred thing in the world. Now, the lover is also often beautiful, but not in a superficial way, but when we prioritize beauty. And again, this isn't about a facade or how you present yourself, but it's what do you find beautiful? We can use that as a portal to the divine. In our modern culture, however, the lover is often dismissed because we're told to prioritize intellect, productivity and activism. And while maybe each of those has its place, without beauty and love, really what's the point? What would we even be fighting for? The lover doesn't have to prove her worth through performative goodness, because she knows a deeper truth, that beauty heals, that love awakens, and that pleasure is prayer. So we can look at the lover as an archetype, but what I really love to do when we're working with archetypes is also look through the lens of a goddess, because a goddess is really the personification of an archetype. And probably one of the most well known lover goddesses is the goddess Aphrodite. She is the Greek goddess of love, beauty and desire.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:04:59]:

Even though she's considered to be one of the most beautiful goddesses, her magnetism isn't just about physical beauty. She had the power to awaken beauty in others merely by shining her attention on them, by being in the presence of gods, goddesses and mortals alike. Jean Shinoda Bolin, who is a Jungian analyst, and she's also the author of Goddesses in Every woman calls Aphrodite an alchemical goddess. So when Aphrodite turned her attention to someone, they felt more alive, more radiant. And that's the power of the lover. And I believe that you all have that power as well too. We can also look to the myth of Psyche and arrows to see how the lover really acts, acts as a guide in spiritual enlightenment. So this is one of my favorite myths, and it's also one that's said to represent the feminine psyche.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:05:56]:

I'm going to provide a brief synopsis here of the myth, but we're going to dive into Psyche and errors much more deeply and enlivened my Divine Feminine Mystery School. So if you are not already in it, you might want to get on the wait list. In the myth, Psyche begins as a mortal woman and she is so beautiful that some worship her rather than Aphrodite, which really annoys Aphrodite. So Aphrodite tries to send her to her death. Now, goddesses are not all good and bad. They're dynamic, just like we are. So Aphrodite definitely had a jealous and vindictive streak. So she sends Psyche to her death.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:06:34]:

Or at least she thinks she's sending Psyche to her death. But instead, her son Eros falls in love with her and they marry. Psyche and Eros marry under one condition. Psyche can never look at him. However, eventually, curiosity wins her over. Psyche lights a lamp. She spills some oil on her beloved. When he wakes up, he sees that she hasn't honored their agreement.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:07:00]:

So he leaves. He flees. To win him back, she must complete a series of impossible tasks set by Aphrodite. She sorts seeds, gathers golden wool and descends to the underworld to get a jar of beauty balm from Persephone. Each task is a sacred ritual, one that strips her of her ego and tests her devotion. Eventually, and with some help, of course, Psyche not only completes the task and reunites with Eros, but she's made divine, immortal. This is the true journey of the lover love. Not just as a dalliance, but as an initiation.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:07:40]:

Psyche goes on a courageous descent that strips her bare. And yet it helps her to return to what matters most, love. And from that, she gets to reclaim her divinity as well too. Don't you love that story? Personally, I have always been connected to the lover archetype. That's definitely an archetype that comes easy for me. I love being in relationships, I love being in love. But as I mentioned, archetypes, goddesses, they're neither good nor bad necessarily. They have both life affirming and life diminishing attributes.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:08:17]:

So for a long time when I was younger, so thinking twenties, the lover archetype showed up more in a shadow form where I was mistaking sex for love, chasing beauty as worth and giving my power away in the hope of being chosen. But now, in midlife, I embody the lover in an entirely different way. I light candles at night when I'm cooking dinner. I wear clothing that delights me and that feels really good on my skin. I spend languid mornings in bed with my partner and I treat baths like a holy ritual. The lover is no longer a strategy that I employ to try to get what it is that I Want. She is a sacred way of being. And the interesting thing, even though I can see my youthful beauty fading since I've reclaimed the lover as my own, and again, not just a tool to secure what it is that I wanted, I feel more confident, more magnetic, and really more beautiful than ever.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:09:21]:

Unfortunately, it appears to me that we live in a culture right now that mistrust beauty, arrows and pleasure. We idolize hustle, knowledge, independence, dismissing softness and sensuality as like, indulgent or frivolous. Or we go on the other end of the spectrum and people become hyper focused on their looks, like trying to attain some sort of facade of perfection, but losing any sense of realness and sensuality. But Eros isn't superficial. We can think of the lover archetype as a gateway to the sacred. Again, beauty is that portal into the divine. When we abandon the lover, we also abandon our vitality and our life force. And then we wonder why life feels flat or why we may feel overcome with ennui or are so tired all the time.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:10:19]:

The lover is that shakti. It's that divine energy that lights us up and makes life worth living. I know that many women say, and I've had women in my community say, I'll focus on invoking my lover after I fix everything else. So basically, I'll focus on beauty and pleasure after I have more settled in my life. And I can understand that might seem like the logical thing to do. But I always suggest, start with the lover. She is not an afterthought. She is the whole point when you can rekindle that spark that may have dimmed.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:10:59]:

And I hear that a lot from women in midlife, that they feel like they've lost their spark or they've lost their purpose, desire to get up and do interesting things. That's a sign that there is a disconnection from Eros, a disconnection from the lover. So when we can rekindle that spark, then you'll have the energy and the enthusiasm to work on the other areas of your life, whether it's your health or your finances or starting that business. But let's start with the lover. Now, I have several ways. If you're like, okay, I'm ready to invoke my inner Aphrodite and welcome the lover into my life. You can do so in some simple rituals that I want to share with you today. One is to beautify your surroundings so clear the clutter, light a candle, add some fresh cut flowers, whether it's from your garden or ones that you purchase at Trader Joe's, but make your space hospitable to the goddess.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:11:59]:

Like, let's face it, Aphrodite isn't going to visit a place that has dirty laundry strewn all over the floor and dishes piled up in the sink. And again, beauty is subjective. So what might be beautiful to me may not be beautiful to you. And that's okay, because these archetypes come through us in an individualized way. The important thing connecting to what's beautiful for you. So you might need to even spend some time thinking, like, what would a beautiful home look like to me? How do I want my environment to present as the lover? Now, another way is to dress as an invocation. And this is a really fun way. It's kind of like playing dress up to call in the goddess.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:12:40]:

So think about, what would your inner Aphrodite wear today? What style does she prefer? Is she earthy and boho? Or. Or is she kind of stylish, streamlined and sophisticated? Or maybe it's more pretty and flowing and romantic. Perhaps it varies day by day. But as you call in the lover, we invite the goddess in by acting like her. So have fun dressing up and consider what your love goddess wants to wear. For me personally, I've been wearing a lot more dresses lately. The next way is to create a pleasure ritual. Turn your bath into a baptism.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:13:17]:

Anoint your water with essential oils that you find pleasing. Take time with your skincare routine. Really think of it as honoring the goddess. Or enjoy your evening walk thinking of it as a meditative experience. So sometimes we think of rituals as things that we have to add to our day. And I know for many women that you are very busy, so the idea of adding something else can sometimes seem overwhelmin and also take the joy out of it. But often we can create rituals just by infusing them with intention. So it could be the things that you are doing anyway.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:13:57]:

After you pour your morning coffee, instead of mindlessly sipping it, as you scroll through social media, turn off all distractions. Can you really be with your coffee? Can you smell it? Can you taste it? Make sure that you are being present for the world around you. Again, that's that sensuality. Or when you're making love, don't think about the bills. When you're taking a walk, don't talk on the phone, but be with what is actually happening. That is, that's the lover. And then the last one. And I would really love it if all of you beautiful listeners tried this out, is to write a love letter to yourself.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:14:33]:

And I know when I have received this task from one of my teachers. Before, I had a lot of resistance to it because it seemed a little silly and a little corny, but it was an amazingly profound experience. Often we wait for others to tell us the things that we wish to hear, but really we just want ourselves to acknowledge how wonderful we are. So don't wait for anyone else to say the words. Say them to yourself. Write yourself a love letter. So there's just a few ways that you can call in your inner lover. And as you contemplate the lover archetype or your inner Aphrodite, whatever resonates more with you.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:15:15]:

I want you to remember that you are not just here to achieve, fix or hail in our culture. You know, there's the sense of busyness and productivity that is not the lover. You are here to feel, to delight, to remember that beauty is sacred and Eros is divine. And here's the best part. You don't even need a reason to be an acolyte of Aphrodite. She is the reason. So today I will leave you with this inquiry. How will you honor your inner lover? How will you invoke her today? And if you loved this episode, I would appreciate it if you could share it with a fellow Aphrodite in the making.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:15:56]:

And don't forget to subscribe for more mythic musings and archetypal wisdom. Until next time, breathe deep, dress your inner lover, light the candle and make love like there is no tomorrow. I will see you soon, beautiful ones. Thank you for joining me for this episode of the Goddess School Podcast. I hope it sparked your imagination and expanded your vision for what's possible. If you're ready to explore these concepts more deeply, reclaim your personal myth and live with greater creativity and enchantment, I invite you to join me inside enlivened my Divine Feminine Mystery School and sacred community where we bring these teachings to life through ritual, story coaching, and of course, real world action. You can find the link to learn more in the show notes. And remember, the Goddess isn't a deity outside of yourself.

Lisa Marie Rankin [00:16:52]:

She's an aspect of your highest self. You are the Goddess. Until next time, Sam.