Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Genius Podcast.

My name is Karen Doyle, your host and founder of The Genius Project.

The Genius Project exists to serve you as a Catholic woman and to resource you

towards growth and wholeness in your life.

Now, we seek to do this through a number of initiatives here at the Genius Project.

One is the Genius Podcast, which you're listening to.

The other is the Catholic Women's Masterclass, which is a four

month journey of transformation in which you learn to, I.

And walk through four rhythms of renewal that will really bring

transformation to your life.

The other area that we resource women is through our Catholic coaching

programs for women as well as our live virtual Catholic women's events

and our online courses and resources.

If you are interested in finding out more about any of these initiatives,

can I invite you to visit our website?

www.geniusproject.co.

Or come and join us on Instagram genius underscore Project underscored Daily.

And you can also subscribe to the Genius Project YouTube channel.

On this week's episode of the Genius Podcast, I'm joined by

a special guest, Roxanne Raki.

Roxanne's, a beautiful woman who I met through Alyssa, and she

lives in Melbourne, Australia.

Roxanne was recently a guest on the Real Women's.

Series that The Genius Project and Sisterhood produced in

conjunction with Shalom World tv.

You can check out her episode and the whole series 12 beautiful episodes on

Shalom World TV Australia Real Women's Series Roxanne's had an incredible

journey of coming to know the Lord at a deeper level and the healing

that he's brought in terms of her relationship with her own mother and

then her children in today's epi.

So we're going to be talking around this idea of spiritual

motherhood, physical motherhood, and the role the blessed mother

plays in our life as Catholic women.

Ladies, I hope you enjoy this conversation with Roxanne.

Well, Roxanne, welcome to the Genius Podcast.

It's so wonderful having you joining us from Melbourne today.

Thank you so much, Karen.

Thank you so much for having me on.

Oh, it's great.

I can see you're in a jumper, which means it's really cold.

It's cold.

The weather's just turned, hasn't it?

Oh, miserable Melbourne.

I know.

And it's just, we're sort of moving into that season now of autumn

and it is starting to get cooler.

But anyway, we, um, we sold you on and look forward to summer again.

I'm like, and summer is never long enough for me.

I just, yeah.

But.

Love summer.

I love being hot.

My daughter said to me this morning, do you prefer being

really hot or really cold?

I said, really hot.

Yeah.

I'm with you.

All the way on that one, Karen.

Yeah, so Roxanne, we're gonna have a, a skim across a few different

topics today, but really the center of our conversation is around, I

guess, the role of motherhood, like the role that our moms played in our

life as women, the role that we play.

In other people's lives, whether that's through spiritual motherhood

or if we have our own biological children through physical motherhood.

And then I guess the role the blessed mother plays in

our life as Catholic women.

But before we jump into that, I'm wondering if you can share a

little bit about your background and, and your faith journey.

Yeah, sure.

Um, so I was, um, baptized and raised Catholic.

Um, however we weren't practicing, um, Catholic family, we'd

occasionally go to church.

I may maybe remember a couple of times going to church with mom.

The dad never, never went and um, doing my sacraments.

However, I never did my confirmation.

I actually did my confirmation in my thirties, um, which I thought was quite

beautiful cuz it meant a lot more.

Um, not.

You know, doesn't mean more to younger kids, but I was at a stage in my life

where I was coming back to the faith on my own and I really felt God calling me

to, to journey back to him and, um, and live a life that was intended for me

and to step into, you know, the beloved daughter that he created me to be.

And so, um, yeah, just.

You know, going through life and, um, you know, having my

own biological mother growing up with her has was, was never easy.

Um, we, it was a strained relationship at the best of times.

Um, however, you know, she's my mother and I do love her and, you know,

only coming back to my faith and, and healing with, with God, I've realized

that, you know, she's got her own wounds and her own healing and, um,

You know, I just pray for her and yeah.

But I've been very blessed, um, that I had an auntie or that I have an

auntie whom I'm very close with.

So my mother's sister.

And, um, you know, she played a very pivotal role in my life growing

up and being a, a mother to me.

Um, and, you know, she was very nurturing and I guess I got a lot

of that from her than my own mother.

And I know growing up, um, It was very difficult, very difficult to

see friends, um, who were close to their mums and had these really good

relationship with their mothers.

And then, you know, they would come back after the weekend and

say what they did with their moms.

And especially growing up as a teenager, you ta you, you tend to wanna have that,

you know, best friend's relationship with your mom, still your mother, but you

know, you, you wanna, you know, do stuff.

And with your mom and.

You know, even if it's just shopping or, um, going out for a coffee.

But, you know, I never had that and there was always an emptiness inside

and, um, you know, a very broken heart.

And although I, I've been blessed with having an auntie and I know so many,

um, women and men out there that.

You know, I didn't have a mom and didn't have a mother figure step into that role.

I, you know, I do count my blessings that God always had my auntie there.

Um, it just, you just know what, she's not my mom.

You know, you still cra and yearn for your own mother's love and your

own, um, mother's relationship.

Um, and you know, that carried well into my adulthood with me and, um, Like I, I

found, you know, and even my auntie, she would say to me that, you know, you've

gotta heal from those rooms with your mom.

And I never really understood what she meant.

And I, you know, I just put it to a, a lot of other things going on my, in my life.

And then, yeah, it wasn't, you know, until I did actually your course,

um, the Genius Project course.

Um, You really touched on God wanting to heal me in those areas.

Like I knew in the back of my mind and in my heart that, um, there was a

lot of healing that needed to be done.

However, um, I just, you didn't know how to go away, you know, go

about doing it and, um, you know, throughout life you're always seeking.

Fulfillment or, or, you know, filling up that space that, that brokenness, but

through a lot of things of the world.

So you would ne you'd never come.

Like I never felt like I was satisfied and there was always the hurt still there

and there was never really any healing.

So, yeah, doing the course had made, you know, really opened my eyes up and, and

really opened up a lot of things for me.

Yeah.

And also really coming back to the faith and.

And living a life of the faith, you know, putting God first and, and just

trusting in his love and mercy and letting him sit, you know, in my heart

and just sitting with him and letting him heal those areas have heard, and just

trying to listen to him and, and hear what you know, he, he had to say to me.

Yes.

And um, and yeah.

Then obviously I, I.

You know, had my own children and I've always wanted to be a mother.

That that was always something that I knew deep in my heart that

that's what I wanted to become.

And I wanted to have my own children.

And, you know, I remember growing up thinking that if I was was a mom, I'd

be a better mother than my own mother.

And I would never, you know, let my kids feel the way that I felt.

And, and through that gift, through that suffering.

You know, God did give me a gift to be a better mother and, and

to impart, um, the things that I guess I learned and struggled

with to, to my children and Yeah.

And even be able to be able to pass on the faith to them.

Yeah.

It's so beautiful.

Your journey is amazing, isn't it?

And I've just watched you over the last couple of years go from strength

to strength in your faith, in your relationships, and that's been really

beautiful actually to witness and just the transformation even in your

face of, of walking into that freedom.

But Rox, I'm wondering if you can take us back, I guess, to when you

were a kid and, um, I guess some of those experiences, like the role,

I guess, that a mother plays in a child's life, um, what did you feel

that was particularly missing for you?

Just the nurturing, um, aspect.

The, the feeling of being wanted.

The feeling of being loved.

Yeah.

Um, and feeling of, um, being respected as well as an individual and, and, um,

knowing, you know, just having a mother.

There to, to want, you know, to know that you are not a mistake

and that you know you are loved and that you are wanted, and, um, you

know, just that feeling of safety.

Yes.

Yeah.

And, and that, that, yeah.

Was a, a lot of it was a lot of emotional trauma more than any, yeah.

Yeah, and it takes a long time to walk out of that.

I know in the church that we talk a lot about the father wound.

That happens because you know, we relating to God the father, and there's

a lot of work that's been done around, I guess our relationship with our

earthly Fathers impacting our view of God as a loving and a good father.

And it wasn't until recently or.

Probably 10 years ago that I came across a little bit of work on the mother wound,

because I think that area can sometimes be neglected that there's a lot of focus

on the father wound, but that we also sometimes suffer a wound in that sense

of being nurtured and, and that father wound is around protection and identity.

The mother wound's a little bit different.

It is around that sense, like you said, of being seen, known, and

loved, and a sense of being at home.

Yeah, I think that's a really big one that when we don't encounter, I guess that

sense from our parents, like you said, you know, we can go out in search of that.

Um, but you know, the great news and the beautiful thing that you've

discovered is that in Christ, like we can actually experience that.

And we can receive healing in that.

Yeah.

So Rox, I'm wondering if you can share with me, I guess, an experience that you

had, like what was a pivotal moment where you realized that you had this ache and

that the things that you were sort of looking to weren't satisfying that ache.

Um, what was that sort of moment, I guess, of awakening to the

work that needed to be done?

Like you alluded to the fact that your auntie said you'll need to heal, and you

touched on the masterclass, but I guess in your own interior life and, and quiet

time, was there a moment or something that happened that really kind of catapulted

you into wanting to go after that healing?

Yeah.

Um, Yeah, so this goes back quite a few years before I even met my husband.

Um, so, you know, you touched on like the healing of a mother and you

know, the wounds that come from a father and the wounds that come from

a mother are very, very different.

I, you know, I find that the wounds of, of lacking a father figure, although,

you know, I did have a father in my life, but he was never really present.

You know, you search for.

That in different ways as you, you know, progress and get older and, and it's

like more attention seeking or, you know, um, seeking the attention of men.

And then the mother wound had a lot, has a lot to do with like, your own

self-respect and, and how worthy you feel.

And, and you know, there is that whole self-loathing and, um,

worthlessness that comes with that.

And so, you know, having all of that baggage with me, I, you

know, came into a, a relationship.

Um, And you know, who, who wasn't, he wasn't good for me.

And it was an abusive relationship, but I didn't know any better and I didn't.

And again, it just circled back to that whole feeling

of, you know, I'm not worthy.

And, um, that whole, whole, well, you know, you don't deserve any better.

This is, this is, you know, what, what you deserve.

And this is, you know, the, the cycle, I guess that.

I was in and I just, you know, remember waking up one morning

thinking I have to break this cycle.

Like, I can't live in a life of abuse.

Um, especially from people that I think, you know, that love me, but they don't,

or, um, that I think that I love them and just, and I remember as clear as they

just waking up and right on, um, opposite my wall from my bed was, um, a crucifix.

Like I've always had Jesus in my life.

And, um, You know, he is always been there.

I've always sort of felt him and, you know, prayed to him and suffered with

him, but I'm not in a way of, you know, following out my faith and yes, sacraments

and going to church, but just, yeah, I, I guess I never felt like he abandoned me.

But I just never told to him.

And I remember, yeah, clearly waking up and seeing the cross and I just felt in

my heart, that's when God was like, you need to come back or you need to seek me.

And so I did, and this was, um, really late into my teens,

going into my early twenties.

And, um, and I started going back to church, not regularly.

Um, I'd occasionally, you know, go to, um, reconciliation, um, but

still living a very secular life.

So, Going out, partying and, um, yeah, not living a life of faith and what,

what God still intended for me to do.

And, and again, it was just because I didn't know.

What was right and what was wrong, and I was never really

guided on that path as well.

Um, so I thought, oh yeah, I'll go to church on a Sunday.

I'm fine.

I've ticked that box.

God's got me, but I'm just gonna go out and party afterwards.

It just didn't, you know, um, again, it was feeling that spiritual need,

but still, or constantly seeking like what the world had to give me.

So there was always this constant emptiness and, um, and then, yeah,

so I, um, Was doing that for a while, and then I eventually met my, um,

now husband and when I gave birth to my second child, um, who's now

seven, um, I was taking my year first child to school, which was a Catholic

school, and then I would, um, started.

Going to church in the morning just after I dropped him off.

And then I got invited by the priest to, cause I'd wait till daily mass

was finished and then I'd go in and say a prayer and then leave.

And then obviously the um, parish priest there at the time saw me

and he invited me in and he said, come and join us for daily mass.

And so I did.

And um, and that's where, you know, The call started, that's when I could

really start to feel God working in me.

And um, and yeah.

And this parish priest, um, father Lift, I'll never forget him.

He was so pivotal in my journey back to the faith and helped me, um,

receive my sacrament of confirmation.

Yeah.

Um, and so yeah, so that was the journey.

And then come Covid and.

Covid was, I know a lot of people wouldn't, wouldn't agree, but was a great

blessing for me because that was when the veil was truly lifted from my eyes and God

revealed himself to me and revealed the lies that I was, um, believing in myself.

And he just aligned everything.

I prayed for it.

I prayed for faithful friends.

I prayed, um, to him to say, look, God, you know, I've.

Journey this far.

And where do you wanna take me?

And, um, sorry.

No, you're fine.

Rox.

Um, and just asked him, Hmm?

He really answered your prayers, didn't he?

He really, he did.

He really did.

He, I, and I said to him, I said, you know, whatever I don't need in my

life, I'm, I'm ready to let go of it.

Um, and that included friends or, you know, so-called friends.

Um, and I just asked him that.

I don't know if I've been living the life that you wanted me to live,

so can you just show me the path?

And he did.

And he aligned everything, everything from my friends that I have now to you

to to the, to the course, which was one of the biggest eye-openers for me.

Um, I learned so much from that and from that course just even catapulted

me further into faith and further into living how God wanted me to live and how.

He wanted me to raise my family and how everything just falls in perfect harmony.

And since, you know, coming into all of that and God revealing himself

and the healing, I've just found total peace and happiness in my life,

which might not seem like it with tears, but, um, yeah, you just, uh,

Sometimes they're just tears of joy.

Right?

And, and tears of gratitude that the Lord has rescued you and bought

beauty from ashes in your life.

Like I think it's a beautiful response to what the Lord's done.

Yeah.

Uh, absolutely.

And you know, I always thank God, but I always, you know, I always say, I'm

so sorry I didn't come to you sooner, but God has his timing for everything

and we've just got a trust in that.

And again, it was that.

Old tune in my head thinking I'm not worthy and I'm worthless, and

Lord, how can you forgive me after all of those sins and all of those

years that I've lived like that, it's not till late in my thirties.

I could have saved 30 years.

Or more of, you know, living a life of faith.

But I understood, no, stop playing that tune.

That's what the enemy wants you to hear.

God is infinite in his mercy, and he's called you now because I,

he knows that I've got a lot more to offer now, and I'm, I'm ready.

It's almost like he said, yep, you are ready.

Go.

Go be my child and go forth.

Amen.

Oh, praise God.

Rs.

That is just such a powerful testimony to the power and the mercy of God, honestly.

It's just beautiful and I think, you know, the Lord has really,

he wastes nothing in our life.

You know that Romans, all things work for good, for those that love the Lord.

And once had a preacher say he is gonna take your test and make it a

testimony and turn your mess into a message and nothing, not one single

thing is ever wasted in our life.

So even our mistakes, he has the power to redeem and restore, and

then when we can actually receive.

Forgiveness, receive his mercy and his healing.

Then we become what Henry Neen calls the wounded healer.

Like then we can take our wounds and the wounds don't.

Satan would love our wounds to keep us contained and point us towards,

you know, destruction and shame.

But when Christ truly comes in and redeems those wounds, they become this

beacon of light of his glory and, and that you can, your testimony is so much.

More powerful because of that journey of mercy.

You're just able to proclaim the mercy, the forgiveness, and the love of God,

which is just so powerful and, and you really have, having walked with you

so closely through the masterclass and that journey, like I've seen up close,

just that, that progress that you've made and what the Lord did in your life

and it's truly stunning to step back and to witness that in somebody's life.

That was such a gift for me and I guess, you know, when we've walked the faith

for many years, sometimes, You can lose a sense of that awe and wonder, and

just the gift of seeing somebody, I guess, come to that revelation for the

first time just excites my heart and it just awakens faith again in people who

have been walking that for many years.

So it's, it's a beautiful journey that you've been on.

Thank you so much, Karen.

Roxanne, the course that you keep mentioning is obviously the masterclass,

which we are taking women through.

What were your big takeaways, or did it have an impact on you?

What, how did you experience it?

You know, um, that course I kept pulling it off.

I really did, but it just kept popping up and I knew, okay,

this is where God was leading me.

He, he obviously found that there was something in this course that

I needed to journey with, and so I bit the bullet and I, and I did it,

and can I just tell you, it just catapulted me where I needed to go and.

That journey that I needed to, to go through, especially with the healing,

but one of one my biggest takeaways was the pyramid of priorities.

Um, Was a real eye opener for me because I had everything so unstructured.

It was upside down all over the place.

Upside down.

And although I was trying to live for God first, everything else was a mess.

So there was just never any peace, especially in my home.

Like everything was just crazy.

So, you know, the pyramid priorities says, you know, God first, and

then us, and then our vocation.

So, Our vocation is marriage, or my vocation is marriage and then children.

And I was having God children, maybe my husband, maybe me.

So it was just really unorganized and I eventually found, okay, so that's,

that's where the mess was in my life, and I came to understand that.

Living in that pyramid of priority doesn't take away from you loving

or serving your children any less.

If anything, it better serves them because then you sh you, you give them a role

model of this is, you know, we serve mom and dad, like as husband and wife

first because it was out of our love.

You know, we for you children.

So I've gotta nurture that relationship first and when that's strengthened.

As a couple, as a husband and wife, and as a mother and father, we together

strengthen our children and their needs.

Mm-hmm.

And that was, once I had that all in place, it's everything

just started to fall in place.

And again, it was respecting my husband and, you know, um, respecting

his needs and, and, and, um, you know, being attentive to his needs.

And when I was giving him that, He was showing that back in return and something

really beautiful my friend had said to me, um, when I was going through that

really dark time with, with my husband, she said it was so beautiful cuz I could

see God breaking you both down to nothing and then building you up together as one.

Oh wow.

And I was like, wow.

That when she said that, Jess, shout out to you.

Um, that was.

Really powerful because I saw that.

I saw that, yes, he was breaking us down to nothing so he could build us up to what

he wanted and as what we were meant to be.

And as husband and wife, and as one, as a team again.

Yeah.

Wow, so beautiful.

Um, it's amazing that journey of restoration when we actually, like we're

saying, surrender to him, surrender to what's happening in our life.

We often say that we need to learn to consent to that which we have not chosen.

Yeah.

Sometimes, you know, suffering comes into our life or our marriage may go through

a season and we're like, well, I didn't choose this and I don't want it this way.

But consenting to that process and then inviting the Lord into that, And

praying for that restoration is key.

I'm so glad that, that, that your group, that cohort of

the masterclass was beautiful.

Every group has been beautiful actually.

Mm-hmm.

But just watching the transformation in each of you as we walk together, um,

was such a blessing for me actually, just to, to bear witness to that

and to help, I guess, facilitate and give formation around some of those

things was such a beautiful gift.

Oh, look, it certainly helped me grow.

Um, it was a water that nourished me to help me grow that, that's

probably the best way I could put it.

Um, you know, you laid a lot of foundations that I didn't have

there before, so, you know, you really are a gift in my life.

And, um, you know, the masterclass was a gift in my life, but it was almost like

I was already, I was broken and that master class just helped build me back.

But with the firm foundation that it needed to, to begin

with, which I never had.

Beautiful.

Well, thanks, Rox.

Oh gosh.

I feel so humble just by that.

Oh my gosh, I really do.

Oh, honestly, Karen, you what you are doing and words just

can't express my gratitude.

Um, yes, thanks be to God, but you are an instrument that he's

using and gosh, you, you're using your talents and your gifts, so.

So well and glorifying him, but I just think, you know, I said to my

son, I said, you might not see the fruits that you bear in this life,

but you know what a great, great gift it's gonna be when you get to heaven.

And God shows you all the souls that you have saved.

And I think about that with you, Karen, and what you do in your masterclass.

Like think about all the souls that you have saved when God opens the door

and heaven and goes, thanks Peter Card.

Karen, you have brought these people with you.

Thanks, Rox.

That's really beautiful.

Yeah, it's, it's such, um, a privilege and a joy.

And we just had the sisterhood conference a few weeks ago and, um, just one of the

beautiful young women, I don't know if you watched it on Shalon, but Tamara shared

her story and she was a 12 year old girl in our boarding school, way back when.

She's in her thirties now, and she was just talking about those little seeds and.

We, like you said, we often don't see them.

We may not see them in this lifetime, but we have to trust that the Lord blesses

us so that we can be a blessing to others and, and I, my experience has been, it's

just so beautiful to allow the Lord to sort of flow through you to help others.

And when you do that, you are just blessed tenfold.

There's so many graces in that, and it's that joy that radiates in

the, in that we were talking about earlier, and I really see that in you.

There's just, there's something that radiates outside of you, and as I said,

like it's only something that can really be given if, if you are following your

faith and you're leading a life, Christ wants you to be, you radiate something.

That no one else has, you know, and, and that really does with you.

Every time I see you, you just put a smile straight on my face and I'm versa.

Oh, you just, uh, yes.

This will just be this mutual admiration.

Come for a moment better that the, the peace.

I think the Lord's given you this beautiful gift of peace and coming into

your presence and encountering that.

There's something really soothing, I, I find for myself in that.

So, Yeah, it's funny you mention that because I, I certainly can tell

you growing up was not peaceful.

It was not a life of peace.

And, um, I just found being away from home, you know, if I was staying with

my aunties or uncles and cousins and stuff, um, that's where I'd find peace.

It was never in my home.

So it's nice that, you know, you can see that.

And, um, because that's something that I wanna create in my home

is that, is that peace and, yeah.

You just oozed that, Rob you.

Oo, peace.

I think if there was one word, like I, you know, if you could choose a

word or a virtue over someone, when I think of you, I think of this deep

abiding piece, which is within you.

Oh, thank you, Karen.

Yeah.

Praise to God.

He's, he's, he's put it there.

He really has, and again, it's just surrendering to the Lord,

just like a child and just giving you all in knowing that.

You know he's got it.

He'll take care of it and he'll journey with you.

Yeah.

So beautiful.

Thank you.

Oh, look, honestly, you're such an incredibly beautiful woman of God,

and that's why I just wanted you to share your story on this podcast

because the depth of your faith a and your relentlessness to pursue God

in all things and give him glory in all things is quite inspirational.

But just coming back to your healing.

You really made that decision.

And there's a saying here that says that what is not healed can be transferred,

like what is not restored then can be sort of placed onto other people

and relationships can become toxic.

Prior to walking through that healing, were there ways in which those, that pain

was seeping out in your relationships?

With your husband, with your kids, with, with friends you mentioned that weren't

walking, I guess the Christian faith.

Yeah, absolutely.

Um, definitely in my marriage.

Um, You almost, you're trying to find someone to make it better for you, but

no one's gonna make it better for you.

And you get angry at those that are close to you because it's like,

why aren't you making it better?

But you're not understanding, you're not understanding why things aren't really

falling into place and you do, you, you tend to gravitate towards toxic people.

Toxic friends, you know, again, it's that circle of abuse.

It's that circle of, um, just using you and, and.

You know, having, and I wouldn't, you couldn't even really call them

friendships, but, um, yeah, just not lifting you up and identifying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, and also, you know, as, as a mother, um, not being able to give my all to my

children, although you, I'm, I am, you know, you do try, but there's always

something and, and I realize, you know, you can't give what you don't have.

Yes.

And so I needed to heal in order to be a better mother and a better wife, and

a better version of myself to give to my family, and ultimately they were What's.

Mattered.

And that was, you know, obviously first and foremost and not trying

to nurture destructive relationship and and friendships around me.

And so I guess, you mentioned Covid being a gift.

Was the gift of Covid that you were, I guess, pulled away from those toxic

relationships cuz you were in Melbourne?

The longest lockdowns in the entire world.

So you think that was a gift, but is is that the gift was that it was able to

separate and put some distance between you and those toxic relationships?

Yeah.

Yes.

That and also, um, cuz I'd already seen God starting to make those changes

prior to Covid, but it really grew my friendship with, um, Two of my most

amazing sisters in Christ, I call them, yes, Alyssa and Jess, and you know,

together, we just lifted each other up.

But more importantly, we encouraged each other through the faith and.

Yes, it was the longest lockdown, so there was a lot of things that were tested.

Obviously you, you know, your patience, but it also gave me a lot of downtime.

And during that downtime, I didn't wanna waste it on Netflix or

scrolling, you know, I gave up.

During that time, I gave up all social media, um, and I picked up the Bible

for the first time and I started reading scriptures and I started, um, just.

Delving deeper into my faith and listening to podcasts and, and, you know, watching

videos that were all related to him.

And that's why I say yeah, the gift of Covid.

Yeah.

Yes.

Well, praise God.

Yeah, praise God.

Um, and.

Yeah, it was challenging at the best of times, but I just found total peace

through little because I knew I had, you know, God walking with me and no matter

what happened and what, what was going to happen, it was fine because he was there.

Mm-hmm.

So beautiful.

Tell me, Roxanne, you I guess experienced like the love of Mercy and you grew in

your relationship with God the Father, and Jesus as His son and the Holy

Spirit, but I know the blessed Mother Mary plays such an important role.

In your life and you've just born witness to that.

Can you share with us a little bit about your relationship with the Blessed

mother and why that, obviously it's so important because your earthly mother,

there were some wounds there, but could you speak into your relationship?

With the blessed mother.

Yeah.

So I, um, I've always knew of our lady and, um, growing up I, I

somewhat knew how to pray a roser.

I didn't know much about it.

Um, however, a friend of mine, um, introduced me to the devotion of our

lady and she said, you know, you need to, um, just pray to her to intercede,

intercede for you and introduce me to nos.

And I think the first Nona, um, was our Lady of URA of knots and, um, And

I remember just learning about her and coming into relationship with her, and

I looked at her and I go, you are the epitome of a woman, of what it means to

be a mother, what it means to be a woman, and what it means to be a woman in Christ.

And I just started to wanna learn more about her.

Just as much as I wanted to learn more about my faith and about God, I

wanted to know more about our lady.

And the more I knew about her, the more I fell in love with her.

And the more I.

Wanted to turn to her and, and, you know, um, ask for her guidance and, and her

grace just, you know, on the miraculous medal, the graces that she has from her

fingers, she's asking us to receive it.

So, you know, I pray to her, give me the grace that, you know, God wants

to see me, to be a better mom, to be a better wife, and, and there's

just something so powerful with her.

Her humility, her love, her humility in her suffering, I think about everything

and try to, You know, walk in her shoes, which is impossible because I couldn't

imagine having to be a witness to my son, you know, in crucified and being,

you know, mutilated and, and just, but through that she knew what her role

was and what she was to do through her suffering, and it, that was the

key to unlocking my suffering and what I needed to do with that suffering.

Mm-hmm.

So beautiful.

And, and this month that we're in now, may is the month.

It's Mary's month, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So do you have particular devotion during may?

Like do you, or is that just a devotion that carries through the whole year?

I've got, um, a devotion to the rosary, so yes, I pay the rosary every day.

Um, I have a bowl of rosaries in my home that are blessed so

that anyone who doesn't have a rosary can take one with them.

Um, but through May, I really try to tend to pay all four

mysteries of the rosaries a day.

Um, I remember going through my journey, um, back to, to Christ and,

um, Especially, there was a lot of tension with my husband and I at the

time, and we were at a real low point in our marriage and you know, there it

was the crossroads of, you know, a part of me, do I stay and I think, oh no, you

know, God doesn't want, you know, us to separate and this is the enemy trying to.

Weave his way into our marriage.

And you know, I felt hopeless and there was many nights that I just

didn't even know what to say.

So I just prayed the rosary and I remember just, it was a couple

of months, two, three months, and it was just helplessness.

I really felt helpless in my marriage and I just thought, no,

I'm just gonna pray the rosary.

And I prayed the rosary.

I was praying all for, um, Rotaries a day and just offering it up, offering it up

for my marriage, offering it up for my husband and just saying, you know, God,

our lady, you, you work it, you fix it.

I, I'm not going to try and, you know, try and fix it.

Every time I do, it just gets worse.

And I, and it's, it's that trust, you know, God cause us to be

childlike in our love and trust in him and it means letting go.

It really means just letting go and giving it to him.

Not saying I'll give you 90%, but I'm just gonna try and fix the 10%.

You truly trust and love the Lord in his mercy and in his graces.

He will fix it to you, fix it for you, but you have to trust it's in his own time.

And just you ask our lady, can you help me carry that cross in the meantime?

And she did.

And out of all of those prayers, out of that suffering, out of

that, um, willingness to let go and just sur to surrender.

My husband turned around and said he wanted to become Catholic.

I love this.

Oh, just it makes me cry every time you talk about it.

Isn't that incredible?

Yes, it was.

And it was the year of St.

Joseph.

So, Um, it was the, my son was getting confirmed and he chose in his mind

that he wanted to, um, choose St.

Joseph as his saint.

And so for Christmas, I bought him the consecration to St.

Joseph book.

And, um, at this time, my husband and I, we weren't even sharing a bit.

We were just, it was really, really, Tense.

We, yeah.

Clearly spoke.

We, we spoke only when we needed to.

It was one of those, uh, I think I look back and I think, wow, what God got us

through, what our lady got us through and now, you know, great, um, gratitude to St.

Joseph.

And I said to my son, I said, oh, you know, why don't you invite your

dad to do the consecration of St.

Joseph with you?

And he did.

And that's, yeah.

Halfway through my husband said to me that he wanted to, um, become Catholic.

And at first I got.

Upset with him because I thought he was using my face to try and

weasel his way back into the good books, and, and I thought, no, God,

this is what, you know, I pray.

I didn't even pray for his conversion.

I just prayed for him and I let you know the Holy Spirit do what he needed to do.

And, and now you know, my husband, he leads prayer overnight and

he leads us, you know, to the Eucharist at every mass and.

Yeah, he's praise be to God.

Praise be to God.

You know, people say praise don't work, but never underestimate

the power of prayer and inviting our lady and our Lord in St.

Joseph into those places, like especially into your home, where you want to

model that faith of the holy family and you want that in your family.

Invite them in.

And they will do the work because I can, if you asked me two years ago, three

years ago, that your husband will be a faithful Catholic, going to confession and

receiving the ous, I would just laugh in your face and I would be like, there is no

way in the world that would ever happen.

But God does happen.

It does.

He does move mountains and you just gotta have the faith and

the humility to surrender to him.

Yeah, absolutely.

I think that surrender and detachment is the key.

It's the path to the, yeah.

And.

There's a great piece that comes with it as well when you do surrender because the,

you know, well, it's not on my shoulders, Lord, it's on your, your shoulders.

Sorry to burden you, but that's what he wants know.

He, he says, come to me all you labor and a heavy burden I'll give you.

That's right for your soul.

Yeah, and I think we always try to complicate our relationship

with God, but he really truly just cause us to be his children.

And then when we look at our children and when we look at children, even

if you don't have children, you look at the innocence and how they

turn to adults or how they turn to parents or their guardians for help,

you know, or, um, for that love.

That's all he wants us to do.

And I think as adults we try to complicate it and we try to make

it more than what it seems to be.

But you know, when I truly understood, He, you know him saying, surrender and

be childlike, and that's what I did.

God, it's it.

Fix it.

Make it better.

Yeah.

Amen.

Oh, Rox, it's just, it just fills me with such hope because we

need to see miracles sometimes.

We need to see that, um, God gives those little miracles to us as graces

and gifts to keep moving along this journey and to keep following him.

Praise God.

And I just keep praying over your family, that goble keep taking you

from strength to strength as a family.

In relationship with him?

Absolutely.

I remember in the masterclass we do one unit on um, the rhythm of connections.

So we talk about our relationships and one of those is on marriage and parenting

and our key relationships in life.

I remember you were saying just.

How you would just get so cranky so quickly and just, I guess walking

through this journey and, and coming to the Lord like has really transformed,

I guess, patience for you because you were sharing that patience with

something that you struggled with.

Yeah.

Do you feel that that's still an ongoing area of transformation that

you've received those graces in?

Yes.

Uh, you know, patience, um, especially as a mother, um,

it's so I need so much of it.

It's truly tested.

And I remember, just to jump, jump in on you, they often say like,

they, marriage is the vocation, which is our call to holiness.

But I actually, I often say I joke, I mean, I understand the sacramental

signs, but the parenting is because you can still be selfish in marriage,

but parenting doesn't leave much room for selfishness because you still

have to get up and go beyond yourself.

It's, it's hard work though.

Yes.

Patience is.

Especially being tired.

It's a virtue.

Yeah.

And you know, I pray for it and I remember reading it somewhere and um, saying, God's

not gonna give you that virtue, but he'll give you moments to practice that virtue.

Yes.

And I was, remember I was starting to get a little bit crossed, um, My eldest son

said, mom, remember God's giving you this to grow impatience right back at you.

Mama

can.

I can definitely see journeying with him my.

It, it has grown that virtue has grown and whereas, you know, if I was always

cranky or just constantly snap, so instantly I just take a breather and

I could just hear God or, and I hear our lady and, and most especially our

lady, because I, when I get into those moments where I get really angry or get

upset or I snap, I think my holy mother would've never done that with Christ.

Okay.

Can you please try and be like our lady?

And you know, I can, I can hear her just in, in, in the back of my mind

just saying, take a breath or walk away.

Counter 10, come back and model love.

And that's what it comes down to.

Disciplining with love.

You know, you know, just, uh, when the moment you wanna snap, you just, God, give

me the grace to get through this moment.

And yeah, just coming back and, and saying, okay, well you shouldn't have

done this and this is the reason why.

And, you know, yeah, I do love you.

Mommy's not upset, but I'm just upset at the situation.

And it's just, it's, it's words.

Words are powerful and, and I know how important, how wo words can affect

you, especially through what I've experienced and, you know, a lot of

the trauma and the, um, the hurt.

And the scars that I bear from very hurtful words, um, I know

how much that impacts a child.

Yeah.

So I'm very diligent in, in the words that I use around my children and, and

what I'm saying to them, especially if I have been upset or, you know, I also

remind myself that we are still human.

We're still broken, we're still flawed, and we still make mistakes.

And, you know, mommy guilt's very, very real.

Um, But I, you know, it's having the humility to go back to your

child and say, look, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have handled that situation that way.

And Mum is, you know, working to be better.

Um, but you know, kids, Can handle that.

Kids can handle that.

Parents make mistakes, but we acknowledge it because we wanna model

that in our children that it's okay to make mistakes, but if you come

back and you're remorseful and you're sorry about it, we just try to work.

That's forgiveness.

Exactly.

You know?

And I do ask for forgiveness from my children, the moments that I've, you know,

not behaved the way that I should have.

Yeah.

It's so important.

They need to see that modeled.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's really important.

Oh, Roxanne, you're so inspiring.

And I just, I love how the blessed mother has really played that key

role in terms of your intercession to her, and that's just so incredible.

And I know Jean Paul, too, just talks about her being the perfect example.

Of what it means to be a woman.

And, and so looking to her, especially during this month of May, I guess,

to model ourselves as Catholic women on, I guess some of those beautiful

qualities that she portrays, that she practices, um, that we can just

aspire to be like her in our femininity and our womanhood is such a gift.

It really is a gift.

You know, she, she leads us to Christ and as women we are called to lead others to

Christ, to lead our children to Christ.

Um, again, if you don't have children to lead those around you to Christ

and um, you know, there's strength in hu her humility and I think

we could take so much from that.

Um, yeah.

Cause there's so much peace that comes with humility as well, because you

ti you, you start to let go, you let go of anger, you let go of hurt, you

let go, you know, there's detachment of things of the world, um, in that

humility and, you know, joy as well.

She ex, she exuded joy even in her greatest suffering.

If we replicate, you know, that inner joy, it just naturally comes out.

Of us and people are drawn to that.

People wanna know, why are you so joyful?

Or, you know, why are you radiating?

And it's, it's just a perfect segue to say, well, here's a rotary, pick it up.

Or, you know, things be to God.

I'm like this.

And, um, praise God.

Praise God.

Yeah.

You know, there's so many examples throughout, um, you know, the gospels of

our lady and, and what she's done and in scripture, and we can just model that.

You know, we just, even in her humility when her, her husband couldn't even get

her a place to stay, to give birth to her child, you know, we could imagine us

in that moment and how we would react.

But you know, our lady took it in her stride and said, Lord, let it be.

And so it is.

And if we can just let go.

Exactly.

Like our lady just let it go and gave it to God.

Mm-hmm.

How many graces we'll receive?

Amen.

So beautiful.

Roxanne, thank you so much.

I could sit here and have this conversation with you all day, but

you're so beautiful and I just praise God for the journey that he's had

you on and the restoration that's happened in your life and, and I just

pray that that would just continue.

Thank you so much, Karen.

And look, if I can just add to anyone listening, you know, just

really, you know, take the time to sit with God and ask him to.

To sit with you in those wounds and just, you know, he's not gonna take

those wounds away to make it easy for you, but to make you understand

why you've got those wounds and what he, how he can transform you in that

suffering and what a gift suffering is.

Although, you know, it's very hard to see it from, you know, a worldly perspective,

but there is just so much we can, um, You know, give back to the world and in,

in ourself, and ultimately peace that comes and that love that comes with it.

And really to invite our lady in.

And, you know, it is the month of May.

And to, you know, if you don't have a devotion to our lady, start, start now.

Even just praying a decade, a day and just ask her, okay, I'm starting now.

I'll leave the rest for you.

Help me to grow in, in, in that relationship with you Unan, and

continue to lead me to Christ.

Amen.

God bless you, Roxanne.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Karen.

God bless you.

In this conversation, Roxanne and I touched on the Catholic Women's

Masterclass, and we have a full cohort that kicked off after the Sisterhood

Conference, and we are opening the doors again for another cohort

ladies in just a couple of weeks.

So if you are interested, please send me an email, karen genius project.co.

I'm very happy to answer any of your questions or jump on

a phone call with you, but.

This masterclass, as Roxanne said, was truly transformational in her life.

It has been in the lives of many of the women who have come through

it, and I would love to extend that invitation to you as well.

This group runs for four months and we meet once a fortnight on Zoom,

and in between those Fortnight group coaching calls, you have

access to the full Genius project.

Portal in which you walk through the video modules.

Now, there are nine modules in this masterclass as well as a workbook,

and the idea is that we would just walk through these different rhythms

of renewal that can actually set you up to thrive in life and set you up

for restoration and transformation so that you can live into the fullness

of who God has created you to be.

Until next week, ladies, have a beautiful week and God bless you.