Hi friend, welcome back. I took some time off and I got sick, which was super fun. I am so great at just laying around on my butt doing nothing. And I've been traveling and so now I am back and I am so excited for this episode. We are talking about how I leveled up and my client leveled up to get a six million dollar gift. Six million dollars. Unrestricted. Beautiful. Yes, organization is based in New York City. They are an animal welfare organization, and, uh, we've been working together. They've been my client for a year now, and their annual budget is around 3 million. So 6 million is pretty significant. And I'm going to walk you through mistakes that I see, why, things you may be doing that you're not realizing. May jeopardize your opportunities for really big gifts. And what we did, what did we do practically? And also what kind of mindset, how do we just in general level up with the tactics, the strategy, and internally to be ready to do a 6 million proposal and then to actually get a yes. So I'm going to walk you through that and what we learned along the way. This is a case study example and I hope that it's encouraging to you. I hope that you find it to be practical. So the first is, There was really high trust with this donor. This donor we, we knew, was really passionate about the mission and passionate about the organization. And they had said, because we asked. Where do we stand in your philanthropic priorities? Knowing this donor is a ultra, ultra high net worth individual and a philanthropist. They give a lot of money away, not just to my client's organization, but to several organizations. And they said, you are our favorite. So we knew that going in high trust. High credibility. They would say things like, wow, you guys are so different. Let me tell you all the ways in which you are different. When you're hearing these kinds of things with donors, they're telling you how passionate they are, how much they trust you, how much they believe in your team and what you're doing, and your model of change and your theory of change. Really powerful stuff. So in our work together, we uncovered those things. They went. into donor conversations with this particular funder, this individual, it's a family, and ask those questions and found out. Great. So we were able to confirm that and the donor was just all in. They got it. And when a donor gets it, when they get you, you likely don't have to work as hard. And, and some of the things that I'm going to say to you are offensively simple. Like, some of you want it to be so hard. You want it to be really complex. And sometimes it's not. And when you have all that trust, all that credibility, you're their number one organization. They believe in what you're doing. You know they're really wealthy. And they had been a donor for two years and had previously given a hundred thousand dollars and then the year after had given, I think, over half a million in one year. And so, That's the first key, is when there's high trust, high credibility, high passion, and high capacity, and the donor gets what you're doing, then most of the work is done. Are you hearing what I'm saying? The real, if the relationship is there and you've confirmed all of these things, Then what you need to do is just make it simple and easy for them to give and I'll walk you through how we do that. So the next piece is the really what this organization has that maybe you might not or hopefully you do is a strategic plan with a big vision for impact. So they were clear that their impact is X right now, and in three years, it's going to be Y. We're drawing a line in the sand and saying that we are serving our community more holistically, and that's what growth looks like, or we're serving more community members. And that's what growth looks like, or both. And we have a plan for how to execute on that, and the thing that we need now is the funding to go get it done. Right? That's what I mean by strategic plan. There's a plan for impact for growth. And big vision like that for impact inspires big gifts. If you have a small vision, you will raise less money. If you have a big vision, you will raise bigger gifts. Period. You need to communicate that. That's what we did. So, the big vision inspired big gifts. We shared with this donor, hey, thanks so much for your past support. Here's where we're headed. Can we put a proposal in front of you and present our big vision for a big gift? And why six million? Well, the strategic plan lays out that we would need to raise anywhere from 18 to 20 million over the course of the next three years. So we're asking them to give six of that over the course of three years because that's in line with the strategic plan. If your strategic plan is two years or one year, then great, ask for a one year or two year gift. In this case it was three years, so the other piece is That six million is a really great chunk of that strategic plan. It's less than half, but it's significant. And we knew that this donor could absolutely give that amount if they wanted to. And it's way more, it's the biggest gift that this client has gotten by far, the biggest gift that they've asked for by far. And it's, it's the largest gift that this donor has ever given or even considered giving. And here's the thing, someone's 6 million is 600, 000 or 60, 000. It's all relative and it's not our job to decide for a donor what's too much for them to give. This donor is someone who has been low maintenance, high trust, They've not really, they haven't given restricted gifts, really. They haven't demanded that. They have been someone that we would want to partner with on a deeper level and bring even closer. So for those reasons. And it made sense to go to them with a six million dollar opportunity. Could it have been eight million? Sure. Could it have been five? Could it have been 5. 8? Yeah. It could have been. It could have been. This is what my client was willing to ask for and felt like it was the right amount. And it was a big challenge. I, I can tell you, even in my own advisement with my client, I was like, you know what? Let's ask for six and we might get three. And that's still a huge win. That's still a million dollars a year. They could come back and say, Hey, six is too much. We'd be willing to do four or three or two, still 500 K, which is what they gave last year. And again, I'm not, if, if their mission and values aligned and there's someone that we want to partner with more, then it's not our job to budget their philanthropy. And this is the mistake that I see a lot of people make. where do you get off with having the audacity to ask one person for 6 million? Well, I mean, I've just told you, I already confirmed that they're like obsessively all in on the mission. they've communicated that and they continue to increase their giving over the two years they've been giving. When you build a relationship and you really understand someone's wealth, you understand what makes them tick, you understand who they are, then they tell you, they're, they're showing you, they're showing you that they're willing to step up and do more. And it's your job to ask. It's never our job to decide what's too much for someone to give. Cut that out. You know, just like, hey, how about stop it? Another thing that I see people do is, yes, of course, we prepared a proposal we had in writing. We submitted it. It's a really simple, simple, say it with me, simple, two page document. That was a proposal for 6 million. What was in that proposal? I'll tell you the vision, the strategic plan, an executive summary of that strategic plan. Here's the impact that we plan to make in the next three years. And then, basically, the personalized ask. So and so family, we'd love for you to consider this amount. Here are the reasons why we're asking you specifically. We're not asking anybody else. We're asking you. Here are the reasons why. And, Delaney, if you've been following me for a while, then you know this is how I teach pitching. Which, by the way, the end of October, this month, We're doing a pitch a thon. So, go to my website, sign up for that. If you want to practice your pitch, there are only 25 spots. You get feedback from me. That's a side note. In the pitch, always include why them. Why this person. And it's not just because they're rich. I, I'm explaining to you all the, The qualities, the characteristics of who they are that makes them a great fit for this opportunity. That made you think of them first. What are their characteristics and qualities? And spelling those things out. And the mistake I see people make is they overstuff a proposal. They go on and on. They have a slide deck that's 19 plus slides. 38 slides. And I'm like, good grief. What are you doing? An overstuffed proposal reeks of desperation. It's like almost defensive. It's like, let me defend why you should give us all this money. And of course you want it to be a smart decision for the donor. You want them to understand the impact and what they're investing in. You absolutely need to communicate that. But if your organization is effective, then you don't need seven pages to communicate that. And if you feel like you do, that's your insecurity talking. And you've got to get crystal clear on your message. on your value, on the impact that you've created up until this point, and what you plan to do moving forward. That's what donors want to see. They want to see results. I get told so many times from funders, and high net worth individuals who give a lot of money away. I know a lot of generous people. That's why you can't tell me nothing about how somebody is, people are greedy and stingy. I'm like, yeah, there are those people, but I just have too much proof that people are generous. I got way too much evidence. People say it's so easy to give away money and it's so hard to make an impact. It's so easy to appear philanthropic, and it is so hard to create real change. So if you are an organization that's creating real change, Take on the discipline of communicating that well and concisely so that you can be better positioned to raise this kind of money. That's what I want for you. And you don't need seven pages to do it. Ain't nobody reading those seven pages anyway. Here's the other thing. If you, the other side of the coin is if you don't have the trust, if you don't have the credibility, if you don't have the relationship, if you don't understand to what extent your donor is passionate about your mission, your work, your organization, your model, then It's, it's not the right timing. Almost any amount is too high and almost any timing is too soon because you gotta get those things in place. When you understand, are you this donor's number one Favorite charity. Are you the number two? Are you, this, this all changes everything, right? And when you find, let's say you are number two, if you find out what they give to number one, and you're number two, well, that's also a signal about timing, about, you can learn about how they developed that relationship with number one, what took place with number one. And likely, the relationship grew because they asked him or her for more money. So, if you don't have the relationship, if you don't have the trust, if you don't have the credibility, then it's too soon and it's too much. How much should I ask for? Well, if you don't have those things, then don't, you ain't ready to ask. The other thing that I, Try to, this, this mantra that I hope shapes the internal world of my clients is that giving is a gift to the giver. Giving is a value add to the donor. If you struggle to believe that, and you struggle to be convinced of that, then you will struggle to raise money. You will see it as pushy, salesy, inconvenience. rude, that you're intruding, that you're bothering them. I really do believe that generosity is one of the highest character traits that any human can have. It's healthier than greed. I believe that. I, I believe that because it's my own experience and my own soul. Don't you see that for yourself too? That when you are generous with your time, with your relationships, with your talent, whatever it is, it doesn't have to be money. That you're the better version of you, that you're actually the more authentic you. That, that's, that's who you are at your core, is actually greatness, that's what I believe. So, when I'm asking someone to give, they can say no and it's all good. We're going to change the world with or without you. But if you want to get in on this, it's going to be pretty amazing. It's going to be sick. You're going to want to do this. But if you don't, it's all good. That kind of attitude changes everything. And you actually got to believe it. Like, I believe this. I'm not just saying some positive mantra. I really legitimately stake my life on it. This is my freaking life's mission. I'm like, I'm here to build a more generous and courageous world. That's what we need more of. We need more people with guts, and we need more people who are giving their life away. Who are giving more than they take. Not to the point of unhealth, but definitely sacrifice. Definitely. Definitely sacrifice. It costs you. Yes, that's what I'm advocating for here. Giving is a gift to the giver, full stop. So another skill that allowed us to level up to raise this six million dollar gift is that uncomfortable 30 seconds where you are negotiating or you're asking for a crazy audacious amount like six million dollars. It's that moment where you have to say the number, you have to ask, and you don't back down, and you don't keep talking because you're nervous. It's like, you just say, I'd like for you to consider giving six million dollars over the course of the next three years beginning this year. And you just, you just ask it, and you stop talking. That uncomfortable moment. If you're not willing to have those uncomfortable moments where you're talking about money clearly and directly, you will struggle to raise more money. You probably already know this and when you do, when you do go to that uncomfortable place and you're clear and direct and you square your shoulders and you look them in the eye, you are building so much trust and credibility with that individual, even if they don't give you a yes, even if they, they say, you know what, I'd love to give 6 million, but actually all I can do is 1 million. That's fantastic. You have built so much trust and credibility with them because you're showing them that you're serious about raising money, that you are going to ask for more. You are a bold leader who doesn't back down. And if you're doing that with them, you're likely doing it with other donors. Do you see how that builds credibility? And the opposite is true. When you, when you meet with people over and over and over again, and you're building the relationship. Till kingdom come, and you don't really ask for money straight up. You are eroding their image of you as a non profit executive, as a fundraiser. How are you meeting with this wealthy person who's giving you their time and you're not asking them for anything financial? And there, it's not a secret, is it, what you do for a living? Don't you talk about your non profit? Don't you talk about the work that you do? I mean, even if they're a mentor, it's like, okay, I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you for anything. So, asking for more, and being direct and clear, and, Your willingness or unwillingness to endure those 30, 60 seconds of discomfort, either is building trust or it's eroding it. Sorry to say there ain't no middle ground. And people have more grace and forgiveness for you mumbling your words, or it doesn't have to be flawless. I'm not talking about perfection here. I'm talking about Not backing down. Doing it anyway. Even if your stomach hurts, and you're sweating through your shirt. I mean, I've literally been there so many times, I can't even count them. But you do it anyway, and they're like, wow, I'm proud. The donor's sitting across from you like, I can see that this is a struggle for you, but you still went for it anyway. You gotta respect that. There's so much respect for that, isn't there? Even when you see somebody struggling with something, but they just don't quit. Like, damn, that is amazing. It's inspiring. You can inspire them. How beautiful is that? Here's another hack. How do we level up to get this six million dollar gift? If this person, let's say worst case scenario, well, I guess maybe not the worst, but not an ideal scenario. They come back and say, Hey, you know what? We just don't really want to give. I don't think the likelihood of that was so low. It was like negative likelihood. Okay. Obviously, because we asked for 6 million, they gave 6 million. Here's the, the mental hack. It's committing to the process. of asking for millions of dollars and relinquishing, in other words, keeping an open hand, that that money doesn't need to come from any one donor, like commit to the process of raising millions. So even if they had said no to 6 million, the great news is we just got a rep in asking for 6 million. And got whatever feedback we can get to learn the next time we go and ask the next person. I'm not saying that this client has like a whole wait list of potential six million dollar donors. They do not. Um, But the idea is that you're building that skill, that you're building that muscle, and that even if they had said no, we would go on to the next. We would find the next opportunity, even if it was a smaller opportunity. Because we're committed to the process of raising the money without it needing to be from any one specific donor. And that takes the pressure off. Of you and the donor. Now they don't feel like, Oh my God, they really need me. And sometimes. To be fair, you are in that position. You need them. You do. You need them to come through. And, and I think that if you have a close relationship, like the donor that I'm describing here, you should tell them that. Hey, this is a situation where we're really in need here. but the, the mindset of committing to the process, without it needing to come from any one donor in particular. If this person doesn't step up, it's okay because we're going to get the money. It's someone else will step up. It's all good. It takes the pressure off of you and you show up in that meeting with different energy. It's not a desperation. There's no white knuckling. There's no, tension or pressure. It's simply an opportunity to do something that I know that you're hella passionate about. And that changes. The entire experience for you and the donor when you come with that energy huge one and Asking for those big amounts it strengthens the muscle of risk taking it strengthens the muscle of overcoming the fear and the discomfort it you're creating a new normal for yourself and your team you're literally leveling up even if you get nose you get feedback you get learning you And that allows you to get better the next rep. It's invaluable. Another mindset that we have is if this donor not only is giving a gift to the giver, but if they step up, the world gets so much better. When you are connected to your why, You'll go for it because you know that this money is going to make your community better, healthier, stronger, and get the support they need. So let's go. Let's get the money. You know what I'm saying? Let's go. Another piece in this process is asking powerful questions. Some of you need to ask better questions and remain curious. If a donor, if you're in a conversation with a donor and they say something, find out, and you're, it kind of perks up, you're like, huh, interesting. They said that are injured. That's. That's kind of different. That's kind of unique. That's kind of strange. I wonder why. Um, I had a client meet with a donor once who said that they were, they were younger, like in their late thirties, early forties. And they were like, yeah, we have all this money, but we're not going to give it away until we pass. And, and my client was telling me about this donor meeting. And I was like, did you ask why? Just out of curiosity. I would, do you know why they do that? And he was like, no, I don't. I didn't, I didn't ask. And, and of course, in that moment, he was curious. He was kind of like, huh, that's different. Okay, well, uh, got it. So they don't give. They, they're not, there's no chance they're going to give. And I just don't leave it. I just, I'm like, well, may I know the reason why you do that? Any number of things I could learn. And depending on the relationship, I might press in. Of course, I'm a challenger, so I might press in depending on the relationship. I'm not saying that this is hands down every time, okay? So chill. I might be like, Well, I'm curious why you chose to meet with me today, if you plan to give in your estate, which I think is a really beautiful thing. I'm just wondering, what is it that you want to do in regards to our organization now? Like, why did you decide to meet with me? I just kind of like, get to the point, like, faster. You know, like, because it wouldn't have to be the obvious question, obvious train of thought, huh, well if they don't plan on giving, like, is there another way in which you're hoping to be involved? Instead of just leaving it to my mind and assuming, filling in the blank, Oh, well, they probably do this because of X, Y, Z reasons. I mean, we don't know. Did it come out of their mouth? Did they tell you? So you're just kind of making it up. Or you're just kind of leaving it. And asking questions changes everything. When you find out where you stand with your donor, then it allows you to make these really big and bold asks. when we find out to what extent this donor cared about animal welfare and listen to them. One of my favorite quotes by Carrie Newhoff is, when you listen longer than most, you hear what most people never hear. I'm willing to listen longer. I'm willing to ask more questions and remain curious because I am genuinely curious. I love people. I'm fascinated by them. I just, I am. I just am. And I don't play guessing games. I don't do that. I don't waste my mental energy wondering what are they thinking and what, you know, I try to live my life open and I try to be open with people and I want that to some extent in return. Stop playing these guessing games and you'll start raking in millions. So, the next is really, really crystal clear obvious here and maybe you're, you might be sick of me saying it. But I'm going to say it. People almost never give away six million dollars without directly being asked, without personally being asked. They do not just wake up and think, you know what, I'm just going to, one of the five charities that I give to, I'm just going to give them six million. They don't do that. I, I, I don't, I don't really hear much about that. I, I've never seen it. Certainly, there are billionaires who've never met organizations who just give money away. Of course, we know about Mackenzie Scott. I mean, she, if you've gotten a Mackenzie Scott grant, that's amazing. You probably never met her. You probably never will. So there are, of course, exceptions to this. Some of y'all are telling me, Well, what about this? What about that? I'm telling you that 9 out of 10, 9. 5, 9. 8 out of 10, they're not going to give away 6 million unless they are directly asked, period. So if you want to raise more money, you're going to need to straight up ask. No one is a mind reader. And just because you sent over your annual report or just because you sent over your annual appeal, or just because you sent over some. Document, or you sent, it, it's not, no. Straight up, personal ask. Ask and you will receive. And here's, this is, this is personal, and this comes up with almost every single client. There are some clients who have done really deep internal personal development work. They have done the work of overcoming trauma. Of understanding their money scripts and what holds them back in relation to creating abundance and tapping into abundance. They have dealt with the, any unworthiness or quote imposter syndrome, but not every client. And so this has come up. And it's so important, it's work that I've done in my own self as well. If you believe inside, consciously or subconsciously, that you are not worthy, you personally, are not worthy of success, or you believe that you won't be able to handle it, Or that it will ruin your life. It will ruin your relationships. It will, more money will turn you into an evil, greedy son of a bitch. I, I mean, I've, I've heard all kinds of stories of people's, of what their money belief is or their connection to success and wealth, their connection, their relationship to Achieving their goals. These are subconscious thoughts, okay, but they could be unearthed. If you believe that you are unworthy of success, then you will sabotage the best case ideal dream scenario with donors who are ready to give. You may not knowingly do it, But you will, because you have to remain unsuccessful and in the hustle stage, and the breaking your back stage, and overworking stage, and getting underpaid, and not raising enough, but working really hard. You're gonna stay in that plateau if you actually believe that success is more harm than good. If you, if you actually believe within somewhere that you're not worthy of it. Maybe the people you serve, the community members, they may be worthy of it, but you feel that you personally are not. And if you actually believe that, you will sabotage these opportunities. You may have million dollar, 6 million, 60 million opportunities that are around you, that are within reach of donors who would be willing to step up and give at those Audacious levels. And you may be sabotaging it and not know it. Because you believe, who am I, that I could even ask for six million dollars. What, who do I think I am? Or 6 million. That sounds like a lot of work. That sounds like a lot of stress. That sounds like a lot of responsibility. I'm only raising 2 million right now. And if I got 6 million, isn't that going to 3X the stress, 3X the work, 3X the responsibility, because up until this point, that's what you've done in order to grow, you've just doubled your output. You've doubled your workload. Something's got to give that ain't it. I'm going to tell you right now, that is not how this client got 6 million gift. They've been working less. They took a sabbatical. They took some time off, mostly because I pushed them. I was like, so when are you going to plan that time off? When are you going to put on your calendar? They hired people to help them. They made choices so that this was sustainable. Now, they tell me all the time, they're like, the ease that we feel, like, it's so different pre Julie. And I'm like, yeah, because in order to grow, you don't need to do more, you need to do better. You actually need to do less and better. And that's an uncomfortable place to be, especially if you have been in this pattern of earning your worth through overworking, burning yourself out. It's all over the non profit world. And it's a cycle you have to break. It's a mindset and it's also muscle memory. It's like habits. It's just what you're used to. It's your normal. So you've got to, and the only way that I know personally, this is my own personal story is I'm a follower of Jesus. Some of y'all know that it's my faith and my walk with God, that I know that I'm worthy and that every person on earth is worthy and it's not something they can earn. It's also not something they can have taken away. Even the most selfish, greedy, evil people are still worthy in the eyes of God. They're still worth so much. Every human being. This is very radical. So for others, it may be a different path to find and connect to that worthiness. I don't know of another way other than Jesus. I'm just going to be straight with you because that's how I roll. I'm not gonna, I'm not, I'm not telling, I'm telling you straight the whole time. Okay. For me, that's my story. Without God, I wouldn't be who I am. Period. I wouldn't be as forgiving. I wouldn't be as loving. I wouldn't have this purpose and this mission. I would be so self critical. Oh my gosh. Hung up on perfection. Constantly. There's a dynamic of, are you working from the heart? Worth, or working for worth? And that's a question you have to ask yourself. Do I do this from a place of worthiness, and therefore my work is an overflow? Or am I doing this work for worthiness? Is it a selfish pursuit because I need to prove to myself that I'm worthy by overworking? Which of course, we know, that doesn't work. Right? Doesn't work. So there's mental frameworks. with this success. And there's also practical. Keep it simple. Get to the point. Ask powerful questions. Remain curious. Build the relationship. If you have that, then you likely don't have to work as hard, but you need to find out. Don't leave it to guessing. Don't leave it to assumptions. Don't fill in the blank. And more relationships equals more money, equals more impact. Go out there, build strong relationships with people, get to know them, and get in more reps. Commit to the process, even if you hear a no or not right now. These are all really transformative learning opportunities. You gotta get the reps in. And build that muscle of asking for more and taking risks, more relationships, more money, more impact. Let's get this money. I hope this was helpful and encouraging to you, my friend, and I'll see you next time.