00:00:08 Archita: There's a quiet kind of courage in telling the truth about your own mind, not the I am fine version, the real one, the one where healing isn't a straight line. It's a return. Today's conversation is about what it costs to carry things alone, and what begins to shift when you finally stop carrying them in silence. Welcome back to sacred Harmony, a space where we slow down, breathe deeper, and talk about healing like it's human, not perfect. I'm your host, and today I am joined by Noah May and the host of the Lethal Venom podcast, where he says the things most people avoid saying out loud. Noah is also an Auburn University alum with a bachelor's degree in journalism, and today he is here to share his life story, how his past shaped him, and what his mental health journey has really looked like behind the scenes. If you have ever felt like you should be over it by now, or wondered why the past still shows up in your body. This episode will meet you where you are. So welcome to sacred Harmony. Noah, it's so great to have you today.

00:01:26 Noah May: Thank you again so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. And it's an honor.

00:01:31 Archita: Yeah, the honor is all mine. And I'm really excited for this conversation because mental health is just something so sensitive, but it's also what we need to talk about more and more now. And people need to be more aware about it. So yeah, without wasting any time, let's dive into it. Noah. Before we get into the chapters of your story, how are you arriving today emotionally? Like, if your inner world had a weather report right now, what would it be?

00:02:05 Noah May: Right now, I'm doing really well. I have sunny skies And, you know, it's, um, just really all rainbows on my end. I'm doing really well mentally today. Um, I've been the happiest I've been in a very long time. Um, but I'm, I'm just very, very happy right now and it's going really well.

00:02:31 Archita: That is so great to know. And I, I, I assume that it must not have been a very easy journey reaching where you are right now. So yeah, I am really looking forward to know how, you know, your story shaped you. And I always feel like the truth of how we are arriving sets the tone for a safer conversation. So now I'm curious. Um, Noah, when people hear mental health journey, there's often a tidy story. They imagine, like you hit a low point, you learn a lesson, you bounce back. But what's the biggest misconception people have about what your journey has actually been.

00:03:14 Noah May: I think personally, a lot of people think that it's, I guess a lot of people think that I've kind of faked it along the way. Um, I don't think when they, when they hear my story, I think they kind of have that thing of. Did all that really happened to you growing up? And I, I just think a big misconception is people think that I just had this very normal, very happy life growing up. And it was just so far from the truth. I had trials and tribulations that happened and I just was really people would be surprised at how dark of a place that I've really been in. But, um, I've always been able to shine through and be able to come out on top. But I think a lot of people, when they hear my story, are just a little shocked to hear that all this happens because of how well I can hide the pain that I was going through.

00:04:07 Archita: Um, that that really hits because real healing doesn't usually come with a clean timeline. It comes with honesty, reputation, and sometimes confusion. So let's stay with that for a moment, because the misconception often hides what was really happening underneath. So now when you look back, what do you think you were truly trying to survive back then? Not just the events, but the emotional atmosphere. What was it doing to you internally?

00:04:41 Noah May: I was just really trying to get my voice heard and trying to just find sympathy from others. Internally, I was just really being broken down by depression and I was just really, really struggling. I had so many of my inner demons that were trying to silence me and they were trying to win overall, but I had to keep fighting and I had to keep pushing through. Um, just when I was really going through at the time, it was just it was really troublesome for me. But I think that's one of the big things I was really worried about was, um, just trying to have my voice heard, but I was just continuously being silenced.

00:05:29 Archita: Yeah, that that is completely understandable. I can only imagine what that must have felt like. But now if, if you had to name the pattern that form, because of all of that, was it shutting down, overachieving, numbing people pleasing or staying tough? What did survival teach you to become?

00:05:53 Noah May: I it's helped me to become very resilient and really know that I had a voice in that no matter how how people were going to treat me, I knew that I was always going to come out on top. And that's kind of the mindset that I had to have is that despite going through all this trouble in the past and everything, I was able to really come out on top and was fully able to, um, really break free of, um, the demons that I was facing at the time. So being able to break free, break free and be able to break through as well was really beneficial for my mental health.

00:06:42 Archita: Yeah, that is real resilience. And what you said, that's such an important distinction because survival doesn't just protect us, it shapes us. And sometimes we don't realize we're still living by old rules until our mind and body starts protesting. So how did those inner battles show up in your everyday life, your relationships, your confidence, the way you handle stress, the way you talk to yourself?

00:07:12 Noah May: So I, I'm very much struggled a lot with. This growing up. And they kind of kept me quiet and they kept me very much didn't want to open up and tell my story with other people, even though I did want to tell people what I was going through. I think there was a thing in the back of my mind that was telling me, no, you don't need to tell anyone. Just keep it to yourself. And I, I just was really, really much silenced. I went through a lot of bad thoughts at the time, thinking that I wasn't worth it, that I was just a waste of space on the on the planet right now. That if I took my life, no one would even care or even would bat an eye or have any sympathy about it. So there was just a lot of self-hatred that I had for myself at that time, and that self-hatred almost turned into really bad consequences. That would have been irreversible.

00:08:16 Archita: And, um, was there a moment where you realized, okay, this isn't just a bad day. This is a deeper thing I can't outrun. So how how did you overcome all of that?

00:08:31 Noah May: I there were times where I was like, oh, this is really severe and overwhelming. Um, I finally was able to open up to my parents and told them what I was going through. And they simply were, they were not surprised in the slightest. They were kind of like, well, we kind of knew that from the beginning, she said. My mom was like, I knew something was going on with you during this whole time. But I just didn't want to assume and wanted to basically. Assume things to get you mad. I wanted to wait for you to be able to come to me and talk to me. And for this, for two hours, I literally sat with her and just had a very normal conversation about what all I was going through with the depression, what I was going through at school, home life, and being able to finally share all those things that I was going through and have a voice and have finally my story out there and get it got some of the weight off my chest. But there was still a lot of recovery thing that I had to do to help get myself to a better and healthier life.

00:09:49 Archita: Yeah, that makes sense. And at that moment, the one where you can't perform your best, your your way past the pain can be terrifying, but it can also be the doorway because it forces the question, what would it look like to face myself instead of fleeing myself? And I'm so glad all of it worked out for you the way it did. Now let's talk about what actually helped. Now the internet code's not the just the positive stuff. What were the real turning points for you? The practices, people, conversations, or choices that shifted something inside you?

00:10:31 Noah May: Once. So for me, it was medicine. I got some really good medicine at the time. Uh, that was it. I had to change medicine throughout the whole, my whole journey because they kind of they work at one point, but then after a while, they decided to not continuously work as well. Uh, that really helped doing that. And was I finally was able to open up and talk about it. I then learned that sharing and saying vocal and not staying quiet was very beneficial for me and helped me grow as a person. Um, trying to think. I just think being also acknowledging what I was going through and seeing that this is this is normal, that so many people go through mental health struggles on the daily. That it wasn't a bad thing that I was going through. Uh, that also helped me a lot. Uh, being able to heal from what I was going through at the time. And I found music a lot too. During that time, I listened to a lot of albums and music kind of helped keep me grounded and kept me sane during that time. So that also was a beneficial or a key factor in how I healed. And my relationship with music actually got better over time. It actually got stronger, and I was so happy that I was able to have that kind of mindset and have that resource, because I think if music wasn't a thing, I don't know where I would be today.

00:12:06 Archita: Um, I, I really am glad that, uh, Music worked out for you, but you know, different things might work out for different people. It really is. What really matters is they find out what works best for them. And thank you for sharing all of that, because someone listening might be feeling the same way as you did, and these things might just help save them. So thank you. And also for someone listening who doesn't have the perfect support system right now, what's one small doable step that helped you move from I am stuck to I am starting.

00:12:49 Noah May: The one key factor that, um, and you kind of had mentioned at a good point right there is that a lot of people are not going to have good resources or can do therapy because of how expensive it can be to be able to go to therapy. Um, I have found that on just a lot of everyday things around the house help. Um, besides music, rating has also been a beneficial factor for me. I it makes me kind of escape from what I'm thinking about and into another world that I am exploring. And I'm thinking about writing too. Being able to write out your emotions and kind of write out what you're going through has is also very beneficial and also really helps to get your story out there and get it told by so many people. Um, there's, there's just a lot of things. Being able to have a really good support system as well. Uh, that's one thing that I had to learn was trying to find a good group of people that I knew would be beneficial for me that were healthy. Healthy benefits for me. So having a really good support system helps tremendously in my recovery. Um, and just being outside too, going outside and enjoying sunshine and being, uh, just kind of enjoying life outside really helped. And it kind of makes you kind of take away and go on a walk or something. It's been also been beneficial for me in the past. So those are just some of the things that I have, um, done that have really helped me. For people that aren't, um, that can't afford therapy, but my number one thing would be therapy, to be honest. Um, and another therapy can be expensive depending on where you are. Um, but if you're, but if you are able to afford it and are able to go to a therapy session, that would be my number one biggest recommendation to get your mental health to the, to a better state of mind.

00:14:52 Archita: Um, I, I absolutely love how grounded that is because healing doesn't begin with a huge transformation. It often begins with one honest action. Repeat it and it could be anything for anyone. For you, it was music and reading someone. for someone else, it might be journaling, talking with friends. So yeah, one decision to stay with yourself instead of abandoning yourself. So but sometimes, even when you're doing the work, life still hits. Old triggers still show up. Some days still feel heavy. So what tends to happen for you during setbacks? What's your default spiral, if any?

00:15:39 Noah May: I tend to really diverge into just a sense of no one talk to me. I need to be by myself right now. I, I turn into a crab that kind of goes in its shell. That's how I am. I go into, um, also, it's kind of like a bear going into hibernation. That's how I am. I just kind of hide myself from what I'm dealing with at the time. And I just hide from the world. I, I do now have a better support system now that I do go to those my support system and say, hey, I'm not doing well at all. Do you kind of talk with me and stay with me and be with me for right now and that. That is helpful. Sometimes my depression so severe. And so it can be very traumatizing and very. This far that it sometimes even talking and working with people, it's just not enough. And it doesn't help. So but I do have the resources that I do. Have now really have been helped me really navigate towards life. And they've really helped me become a better version of myself today.

00:17:00 Archita: That is really helpful. And what, what is really important is, is for people to know that you're not always going to have perfect days, you are always going to have downfalls. And it's it's okay. It's okay for falling because that's only human. But what's really important is learning how to get up again and again. It's about returning back to yourself even when things are tough. So that is the real growth right there. Not never struggling again, but building a new relationship with struggle. One where you don't shame yourself for being human. Noah, if, if someone is listening right now and they are in that private place where they feel ashamed of what they are carrying, what would you want to say to them? Not advice, but a truth that they can hold on to tonight.

00:17:57 Noah May: I want people to know that if you do suffer from any kind of mental health disorder, whether it's depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar, and if it's very severe or if it's very mild. I just want people to know that things do get better with time. It just takes a lot of patience in that everything does work out in the end. Um, just don't give up and just keep fighting for what you are willing to have in life because you'll, you'll come to find out that everything will work out in the end and that you'll be very pleased and you'll be very, you'll be very happy when everything works out for you. And just know that everything does get better. It just takes a lot of time and patience.

00:18:44 Archita: Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Because that kind of truth can be life saving, not because it fixes everything, but because it helps someone feel less alone. So it is always so helpful knowing that you are not alone in the world. And there are other people going through the same thing like you. So yeah, and this conversation has truly been so insightful, so calming, and I am sure our listeners feel the same way right now. And if there's one thing I hope you take from this episode, it's this your healing doesn't need to be pretty to be real. And you don't have to carry your story in silence anymore. And Noah, for people who resonated with your story and want to hear more of your work, where can they find you? And Lethal venom.

00:19:42 Noah May: The best place to go would be my website, Noah's podcast dot com. And there you can find everything about my podcast. You can find more of this about me and learn more about my personal life, as well as a blog that I do post on. And for socials for the podcast, you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok at Lethal Venom podcast. And you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube at Noah's podcast. And if you would like to listen to Lethal Venom, you can listen to Lethal Venom wherever you get your podcast from.

00:20:18 Archita: Amazing. Perfect. So we'll make sure all of those details are available in our show notes so that people can find you whenever they want. And if this conversation met you in a real way, I want to invite you to do something simple. Take one deep breath and let it be a reminder that you're still here and that matters. And if you want more episodes like this on a story's gentle truth and conversations that help you feel less alone, follow sacred Harmony and the Healthy Mind by Avik Podcast Network. Now because we have all the answers, but because healing becomes lighter when we walk it together. I and this was sacred harmony. Be gentle with yourself and we will meet you again soon.