Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I hope you're doing

well. Thank you so much for spending some time with me

today. Today's episode is about relationships and how different

we all are, and how dating, being with a person is so

different. When you are in your 30s, maybe 40s, compared to when

you are in your teens or in your 20s. At least that's how it was

for me. Back then, as a teenager, you might be insecure

about your hobbies or about your physical appearance, you want to

impress the other person you want to be liked, you want to

maybe share your hobby with them. And then in your 20s, you

want to be seen as a full grown adult, with a job with a purpose

and impress even more not only on a physical level, but maybe

even intellectually. And in your 30s 40s I mean, in the 40s, it

might be very different. I haven't experienced the 40s yet.

But in the 30s you realize holy, I need to know that other person

is Yeah, impression is for the moment, but trust is forever.

How do you build trust with a person you have to listen, and

you have to be fully present. It is not enough to wanting to

impress them anymore, be it on a physical level, or

intellectually. It goes more into depth. And if you're single

at the moment, I really, really want you to listen to that

episode, because I've learned that not too long ago, what I'm

about to share with you. And I thought it changed my life, it

changed the way I looked at dating, and I looked at life in

general. So here we are listening and producing this

podcast. And I've talked about it before, it is most important

that you know who you are. You have to know what you're drawn

to, and why. So many people out there, see a person and think,

oh, that person is out of my league. And don't even try to

connect, because they just judge by the physical. But they don't

know that maybe deep down that person is longing for you and

needs you and would feel strongly connected to you and

would be able to relate to you. But you judge them by their

physical and think out of my league. Not worth it. I'm not

going to waste my time. And then when you start a conversation

with somebody so additionally to lowering yourself, you need to

listen and really find out can I connect with that person? Or is

it just on a physical level? Would they be sorry? Would they

be able to understand me? Or is it a waste of time and we're

just attracted to each other? Because we're both very

beautiful people and ambitious and interesting to be around.

Can that person handle your weak spots, your soft spots? And can

you handle their weak spots? Their soft spots? So you see

dating goes way deeper than just the attractiveness? Just maybe

horniness and just the

or how do we call it social status.

If you are looking for a long term Um, relationship, you have

to make sure that you can relate with that person on many, many

levels. So we have family, how is that person relating to his

or her family? Are they very close? Do they need to contact?

Or are they totally independent? What are your views on that? And

how do you relate to your family? When it comes to health

and fitness? How do you keep yourself healthy and fit? Most

importantly, healthy, and how they do they keep themselves

healthy and fit. You see, a lot of times we enter relationships

because of wrong decision making, we feel lonely, or we

connect on a couple levels. And that's just good enough for now.

But if you're looking for the long term thing, then you have

to go a little bit deeper. So we had health, we had family

financially, if you are in your 30s, you have to be sure to be

financially stable, you cannot rely on your partner, and your

partner cannot rely on you. Unless you are heading for the

classic provider and receiver role. And you would enjoy that

role. You have to make sure that both people can be brutally

honest when it comes to their financial status. And then we

have the lovemaking the physical touch. Can you connect on that

level? Do you both want the same? Or is one person more in

need of physical touch and sex than the other? There has to be

a balance. And again, it's not only the chemistry and the first

couple weeks that will define your future. And then when it

comes to the future, do you have similar views is maybe one part

and to having cats and settling down. And the other is into

traveling and feeling independent. You have to figure

out these things very carefully. Not to aggressively be open for

suggestions. But you got to know what you need and want. And your

counterpart so to say has to be very clear about what they want.

Because if they don't know it, chances are they will wake up

one day and want something else than you have right now. And is

that the end of the relationship then? Yes, maybe? Maybe you guys

can figure things out afterwards. But it's very tough

at times, when one person wakes up and realizes Oh shit, I

actually don't want to have kids, I want to be independent.

And now you invested all your time and that person wanting to

build something and create something and it's being

destroyed with just one discussion. So when it comes to

boundaries, are you very clear with your boundaries? Are you

clear with how much time you want to spend with that person

and how you want to live your life? Or are you more of a

people pleaser? And you just go with the flow and when stuff

comes up, you just voice it and say that you don't like it or

you like it a lot. So setting boundaries is a very, very

important thing to learn about another person because it shows

character it shows what they made off and it will show you

very quickly if you want to connect with that person on a

deeper level. I was walking in the forest today it's a very

rainy Sunday afternoon and I just looked at the trees and

again and again I realized wow look at all those trees. Not one

tree looks like the other. Yet there are so beautiful and

unique and I feel we can apply that on to people. People are so

beautiful fallen so unique. And we really have to be interested

and curious to find out who that person is, in order to connect

deeply in order to have that magical connection that can lift

you up to higher levels and make you feel stronger than you were

before. You don't meet and feel the need to fix the other person

or a rescue. You meet the other person because you have

admiration and utter respect for them. And there's a little bit

of mystery and there's a little bit of playfulness, and trust.

When you get to know what personnel and you know how their

mind functions, you build trust and trust, can be forever. You

can be open and transparent about your likes and dislikes.

You can share sensitive information with that person.

And when they feel they can trust you, then they will not do

stuff behind your back than the likelihood of being disappointed

is very, very small. So I'm reaching the end of the episode

here. I hope I can. Yeah, give you a little bit of content to

reflect on and to elaborate on and think about and feel about.

For if you are out there and dating people. It's not about

impressing the other anymore. It's about how that other person

makes you feel and how you make that other person feel. I'm

sending my love out to you. I have deep respect for you and so

much gratitude that you listen to my podcast here and that you

choose me and that you helped me to spread and share that

podcast. I feel deeply honored to serve you. Thank you so much.

Until next time,