So, hey, guys, thanks for tuning in.

We are back.

We are back, Daughters of Truth.

Woohoo.

Woo woo.

Who's here today?

So, I'm Lucy.

I'm Lizzie.

And I'm Sadie.

And today we're gonna be diving into.

Mental health, something that nobody wants to talk about, but everybody should be talking about.

Yep.

Absolutely.

All right, well, welcome to Daughters of Truth.

I am a mighty warrior, a woman of war.

Fully clothed with the militant armor of Jehovah.

I am armed and ready for battle.

I walk on holy ground that has been seared with the fires of the Holy One himself.

Nothing and no one shall come nigh my tent today, because my God is with me.

I will fear no evil.

In the name of the Mighty One himself, Jesus Christ, we pray.

Amen.

I'll pray.

Yeah.

Dear Lord, thank you for this day.

Thank you for bringing us together to talk about this topic of mental health and how it's so important to Christians and to life and to pursuing you and just help us to help other people and to help.

Just bring some clarity and not be like people that sweep it under the rug.

In Jesus name, pray.

Amen.

Amen.

Yeah.

So what you just said.

Yeah.

I grew up in a family that's.

That, like, you don't talk about it.

Yeah, you don't talk about it.

Like, you pray about it.

You think about.

Not that.

That's not.

Yes, you do those things, but, like, you don't.

You don't go to therapy, you don't go.

You don't talk to anybody about it.

You don't like, medicate, you don't like, you don't do any of those things.

Yeah.

And not that my family's got a big mental health, like, whatever issues or whatever.

And then it was.

I think it finally, like, it was mostly.

My dad's, like, super uber conservative, so it was like a lot of push from him and, like, how he grew up and stuff.

Mm.

And also from my mom.

His family was like that.

But then, like, my mom started going through some stuff and it was like, okay, like, oh, wait, maybe this is.

This is real.

This is a real thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's one of the things that I wrote down that I was thinking, like, when I was just thinking about mental illness in general was how there's such a stigma around mental illness and how that's ridiculous because just, like, our bodies can get sick and not work properly, our minds can do the same thing.

It's our brain, It's a part of our body.

It's an organization.

So if it's not functioning properly.

Right, right.

We're gonna have problems if it's not communicating the way it's supposed to communicate.

So why is there this stigma when most of it is normally like chemical imbalance, hormonal imbalance, or your nervous system is out of whack and not working properly?

It's just another health thing that on this side of heaven can go wrong in our bodies.

So like, you know what I mean?

Like who.

Why did it start becoming the generation that didn't talk about it?

Yeah, the generation of don't talk about it.

Like my mom, my aunt, who's two years older than my mom, had to explain to her what her period was because my grandma refused to.

Mm, right.

That's like.

You just didn't talk about anything uncomfortable.

She was just like, it's now your job to deal with this.

It's my aunt.

And so my aunt had to tell her.

And it was like, you just didn't talk about that.

You didn't do those things.

You didn't, you know, you didn't let your husband see you without your makeup on.

Right.

It was like this completely, I don't know, just secretive, fake way of living.

And I feel like that's new within the last like hundred years, you know, And I wonder.

Cause like that generation, like, it's different now, but like television back then was like everything was resolved by the end of the TV show and everything was.

Perfect and everybody had these little picture.

Perfect things and picture family.

They might go.

Go awry for a while, but by the end of the show it's all wrapped up and all done and it's all.

And everybody's saying, oh, that's what I have to be enough now you got all these different complicated plot lines and things going on with.

And they didn't have major.

They didn't have.

The things that went wrong in TV shows were so minimal and trivial compared to real life.

Well, isn't that what it normally is though?

I mean, you're not wrong.

And you gotta think about it.

So when couples argue about who's taking the trash out or not taking the trash out, it's never about the trash.

It's about all these other unresolved issues because they're not communicating properly.

And then it culminates with you didn't take the trash out and now we're in an argument.

And that's what the blow up on the surface is about.

But under, under all the, under the ground, under the surface, there's all these routes that go where all this stuff isn't resolved.

And that's really.

So one of the things I wrote down when I was thinking about this, I was actually doing a devotion about mental health.

And one of the verses is second Timothy, chapter one, verse seven, and it says, for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.

So what are you feeding yourself?

And I know that's not always going to be the end all, be all answer, but it's what are you feeding yourself?

What are you allowing yourself to be?

What are you allowing into your mind or into your heart?

Because that's talked about I don't know how many times in the Bible.

Guard your heart.

You know, Proverbs 4, 23, all those things.

Because it matters what, what you allow in.

Into yourself to take root, because that's.

That's what's going to lead you down.

Now.

There's.

There's something to be said for.

For that being a generational curse in your family.

There's something to be said for it being a part of your family.

But, you know, and then there's.

There's a lot of stigma as far as talking about it or just you're a man.

Yeah.

To deal with it.

Yeah.

We'll take that route.

You're a man, so you, as a man can't show weakness.

You can't let anybody else know that there's stuff going on with you that would make you appear less than a man.

And talking about your feelings is certainly not something that men do.

No.

And then on a feminine side of that, though, is.

Oh, she's just a hysterical woman.

Right.

Yeah.

They're gonna lock you up the loony bin and give you lobotomies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because she can't cope with life.

Hysteria.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, you know, and I mean, like everything else, you kind of have to find a balance.

And I know I grew up in a house where my father never talked about anything.

Yeah.

And some of the stuff he went through, as I got older, he would tell me stuff, and I was just amazed that he had made it as far in life as he had without being a complete and utter nutcase.

Right.

Yeah.

Because he went through stuff in his life I just couldn't imagine and came out on the other side of it as a great parent when he really had no business even knowing what that even looked like because he hadn't lived long enough, his parents hadn't lived long enough to really teach him what any of that was like.

Yeah.

You know, and Then in my marriage, I have, you know, my husband and I have watched each other go through things where there's nothing you can do for the other person except to pray.

Literally, that becomes all I can do.

Because I can't help you.

I can't help you get to the other side.

Right.

I can't help you.

I can't do it for you.

You have to be the one to say, I've had enough and I'm done.

Just like with your health, just like with your diet, with exercise or addiction.

Or anything, or any of those personal choices, any of those things that you're going through.

For sure.

Like, the other thing I was thinking about as you were just talking too, is we're not taught the skills to cope with things like that.

And it's almost like, I don't know, I just feel like.

I feel like anxiety and things like that are so over diagnosed because people think they aren't supposed to feel these things.

Like, it's totally normal now.

Yes.

There are cases of severe anxiety and anxiety attacks and, you know, all of that.

It's a very real thing.

Absolutely.

But it's total.

And depression is another one that gets.

I feel overdiagnosed.

It's totally normal to go through seasons where you're just meh.

Or you're just down and you're.

But that's where we're supposed to seek God and guidance from God and ask him what direction.

And that's what we were just talking about before this podcast.

The wilderness and the doldrums and those places are where you really can hear God speaking to you if you listen, you know, to him.

And a lot of times I feel like we don't want to feel those feelings, so we're looking for ways to numb ourselves from feeling them.

Yeah.

It's a necessary part of life, though.

You know, And I feel like with mental illness and with mental health and stuff like that, the biggest, like Satan's really good at the isolation game.

I'm the only one going through this.

I'm the only one that's had anything like this.

And when you actually start talking to people about it and what you've gone through and stuff like that, people are like, oh, yeah, I went through like, maybe not the exact same thing, but something similar.

It's like, okay, then I'm not the only person feeling like this is like, not normal, but this is like what life is.

Like, this is just part of life.

And it's not that I'm crazy or that I'm the Only one that's feeling this or gone through this or whatever.

It's, you know.

And Satan likes to isolate us so that we're not like, okay, then I don't talk about it.

I don't talk, you know, I don't trust anybody or whatever, you know, who's going to use it against me or whatever.

Whatever it is.

Yeah.

And then you start talking to people and you're like.

And it's usually like, for me, it's like, once I'm through it, and then I start talking to people and they're like, oh, yeah, like, I went through a season like that.

And you're like, well, that would have been nice to know before.

And then I was like, yeah, but.

You didn't talk about it.

Yeah, I wouldn't let me talk about it, so it's my own fault.

And then I'm like, oh, okay.

And then.

So it's like, okay, then it gives me a reason.

Okay, maybe that's why I went through it, so that I can help somebody else who's going to go through it.

Absolutely.

That's one of the things that I love.

There's usually a reason for your season, you know, And God was so intentional when he made us.

The things that we're learning now scientifically about the brain that line up biblically are amazing.

Like, did you know that your brain physically cannot think about things that it's grateful for and be fearful at the same time?

So if you're having, like, an anxiety attack or you're just feeling down or fearful for whatever reason, if you start shifting your mind to things that you're grateful for, even if it's something as silly as I love how smooth this pen writes.

Like, start with something small.

Okay.

If you're having trouble finding things, your brain cannot physically think.

They've put people through the machines and watch their brain waves.

Once they start switching to gratitude and things they're grateful for from God, all of that noise on the other side of the brain stops because it cannot do both at the same time.

I was like, whoa.

And it says that.

I can't remember what verse it's in, but it talks about how not to be fearful of anything, but in all things be grateful.

And that's because when you switch your thinking to that, your brain can't do the other thing.

Right?

Yeah.

Hello.

Like, thanks, God, you know, for making.

Use of tools like that.

Right, Right.

Yeah.

And the other thing I kind of.

Thought, like, you had a plan, Right?

Exactly.

Was what does your support system look like?

And not just if you need medication, then you need medication.

Medication isn't what is gonna fix everybody, but it certainly can do its job in the right circumstances with the right person and the right doctor.

So I would never tell anybody how d take.

It has its place.

For sure, it has its place.

But who are the people that surround you, that are speaking into you, that are trying to be supportive of you and whatever season that is for you?

And I can tell you that years of talking to Clint's sister before she passed, she would always make the joke, well, if I walk into church, I'll burst into flames.

As if God needed her to be perfect before he came.

You know, she came.

And I would say, but God can handle your mess.

We put that.

We put God in a box to think, God can't handle our mess.

He can't handle my anxiety, he can't handle my depression.

He can't handle my angry thoughts and my yelling and my screaming.

Well, God can handle all that and then some and can turn it around for you, but you have to give it to him in order for him to.

And then you have to be a willing participant.

So the other part of that is that.

So my sister in law would go, well, what do I need to do?

Well, get up and go take a walk or get up and go take a shower.

Just start with getting up at the same time every single day.

Whether you got 16 hours of sleep or an hour of sleep, get up every single day and don't go back to bed.

And if you can start with something as simple as that, which I get it, when you're in the midst of whatever is going on with you, seems like it's a mountain, right?

That's like, I just asked you to climb Mount Everest.

And you're like, I don't even have an oxygen tank.

So I get that it seems an impossible task, but if you start with something as simple as that and then you have your support system around you, but still, you have to be willing to do the work, because all the medication in the world doesn't get you out of bed if you're not willing to get out of bed.

Right?

Yeah, absolutely.

You know, Clint and I have had many conversations, and he deals with anxiety a lot more than I do.

I had my little bout of teenage depression.

Like most or not, if not all teenagers, hormones are going all over the place and just, you know, struggling with your place in the world and where do I belong.

Right.

And all those things.

And I was in therapy and I did that for A couple of years.

And by the time I was in my second year of college, I was kind of like, okay, you know, my outlet and how I deal with things is that I write it down.

That's how I get everything out that I maybe can't talk about or don't want to talk about or afraid to talk about.

I write it all down.

And then that way, at least I'm not keeping it inside.

I'm letting it out somehow, even if nobody reads it.

But I go back and read it and go, oh, my God, that was terrible.

Glad we're not there anymore.

Glad we're not there anymore.

But, you know, I mean, but Clint and I have had many conversations where.

Where his level of anxiety or his level of depression.

I've never dealt with anything personally like that.

So to be a spouse on the other end of some of the stuff he's been through has just been, like, heartbreaking because.

And then even with his sister.

I want so badly to help.

I want so badly to be the person that saves you, but I can't.

He has the solution.

Yeah, but I can't save you.

I mean, again, like everything else, it's.

You have to do the work.

Just like, if you are going to.

Okay, I want to work out every day.

Okay, well, then that means you have to get up and you have to work out.

I can't.

I mean, I could maybe tell you, okay, come on, let's go.

But I can't pull you out of bed and get you dressed and take you to the gym or take you to the garage or wherever it is we're going.

You still have to be willing to make that step.

Absolutely.

And there's things that can kind of pull you out of it a little bit.

You know, I always tell my kids when they're going through things like that, okay, have you eaten today?

Have you drank water today?

Have you gone outside and sat in the sunshine?

Today I got sunshine.

Have you taken a shower today?

Have you, like, do something that's gonna switch.

You know what I mean?

Switch up your mood and switch on your mood.

But even, like, I don't know, it's just crazy.

I went through stuff as a teenager, too, and did the whole counseling route.

I was a self mutilator for a little while.

I.

I went through my share of mental health issues as a teenager and young adult.

And then I was in an extremely abusive relationship, physically and emotionally.

And Christian counseling after I was able to remove myself and my kids from that situation is really what helped me to process all of that.

And if you are a Christian and you're looking for counseling, I highly suggest going a Christian counseling route because they incorporate your faith into the whole process and they'll pray with you and they'll help you just kind of see things through God's eyes.

Biblically, that was a huge help for me.

And there's no shame in that.

We weren't meant to do this alone.

And especially with things that you aren't comfortable talking to just anybody about, or even sometimes there's things that you're not even comfortable talking to your closest friends or family about.

And you just need that or you need like a third party that's unrelated to the issue to just listen and kind of get a new perspective.

Like there is no shame in that at all.

Right.

You know, we should seek help.

God doesn't want you to live that way.

Right.

He doesn't want you to live in that and stuck there.

He wants to see you flourish.

He has great plans for you.

Well, and he didn't make us to be alone, which is why he gave Adam a partner.

He didn't give him a servant.

He gave him a partner, somebody who was going to be there with him to help him through all the things he knew was going to come.

You know, I mean, that's, that's.

We're built for that.

We're built for connection and community.

Yeah.

So I would, I would definitely say.

And then the one.

In reading some of the stuff I read David, if anybody wants to know.

Oh, no, everybody in the Bible, like, didn't have any problems and all they had was God.

I will point you to David.

And David messed up so many times in so many ways with things that you would read about David and go, well, I've done some messed up stuff, but I ain't never done nothing like that.

But every time David came back to God and said, God, I messed up, I'm sorry, I turn it over to you.

Whatever you tell me to do, I'll do.

And it cost David the life of his child because he went to God and said, I know I messed up and I know that I have to pay for this.

So whatever punishment I have to accept.

And that cost David the life of his child because he messed up.

And that's part of repentance, you know, like the whole.

Some people think that repentance is just admitting that you were wrong, but that's not what it is.

It's.

You have to go to God and you have to talk to him about it.

And you have to turn the whole, the whole part of repentance and the change is the change aspect of it.

You have to make a decision to change and go the other direction.

When you've fallen back or fallen short or you've fallen into a season of depression or you've got a lot going on and you're anxious and you just not doing anything, you've got to get up and you've got to make a change of some kind.

Yeah.

Just because you do those things doesn't mean you don't have the consequences of those choices that you made when you were in a little.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Like.

Yeah, I know.

Lucy, dealing with prisoners all the time, I mean even if they find God like that doesn't.

It doesn't, it doesn't change your consequences in this world.

You still have the consequences of this world.

That's great.

You said you.

And let's say out of the 98 that come to God, 1% are actually serious about it.

They still know that they have real world consequences on this side.

That just because they've made good with God doesn't mean that they don't have to deal with the consequences on this side until they get to that side.

And that was true even in Jesus time.

There was him and two others on crosses next to him and one laughed at him and the other one said, I believe you are Jesus, the Son of God.

And he said, you will be in paradise with me today.

He didn't come down off the cross, he didn't bring that other guy down off the cross and they skipped merrily away.

No, you know, that's not what happened.

Everybody died and.

But so he still, that thief on the cross still had to live out his real world consequences for the life he lived.

But on the other side of eternity he got to go to heaven with Jesus.

And eternity is a lot longer than the little 70, 80, 90 years we get on this side of things, you know, so who I mean and I know that's all.

We sit here in a room and we say it like just get up and just take a shower and just go outside and get some sunshine.

But you know, all the years that I spent telling my sister in law that she just couldn't do it.

She just couldn't.

Her, she allowed those thoughts in her head and those demons to just completely get her to a place where it was literally impossible for her to do anything but lay there.

Yeah.

You know, and so she's who I think about and I get it.

And that's real for People like you sit in a room and you tell me, okay, yeah, just get up and just go take a shower and just go outside and go for a walk.

She couldn't even.

She couldn't even leave the house to walk to the driveway to get the mail.

That's how bad her anxiety and depression was.

She couldn't even take the trash cans out to the curb.

She ordered her groceries from Instacart because she didn't want to go to the.

She could not.

It wasn't even.

She didn't want to.

She literally could not fathom going to the grocery store and go shopping.

So everything was delivered to the house.

But it didn't start out that way.

Right.

She wasn't like that in the beginning.

In the beginning, she had a job.

She had a career.

She was married.

And then slowly but surely, as her life fell apart, she allowed it to continue to fall apart.

It consumed her.

It consumed her 100%.

And that can happen for sure.

And Clint and I were probably the only two people who were speaking into her.

But again, if you're not willing to change.

Right.

And if you're not willing to call on God and give it to him, like, there are some things in this life that are too heavy for us to carry.

They just are.

And those are the things that we have to lay at the feet of Jesus and try not to pick back up again.

Right.

You know, there are so many times when something is.

Yeah.

It might be too hard for us, but nothing is impossible for God.

Right.

You know, I really, really, truly believe that.

Yeah.

And putting your trust and your faith, you know, in Him.

There's so many different instances of mental health in the Bible and anxiety and anger and depression.

And I mean, look at.

We just.

I mean, not those necessarily, like, the words that we think of as, like, the clinical, but I think of, like, mine is Moses and Aaron, like Moses, but God.

I can't speak.

Right.

Don't worry.

I don't need you to, like.

Right.

Talk about being anxious.

Like, wait, you want me to be a speaker?

I can't even put a couple words together without sounding like a bumbling idiot, like, God's got you.

But that was definitely an anxiety moment feeling, I'm sure.

Like, look at Naomi.

And, you know, in the story of Ruth.

Yeah.

You know, she had her name changed to Mara.

Yeah.

Bitter.

Yeah.

You know, and she was just so depressed.

And it doesn't say that word, but that's what it means.

You know, she watched her husband die and her sons die.

Who would not be depressed in that.

State and in the country she had moved to.

It's like, so she's a foreigner, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I also think I wrote about Martha.

Yeah.

And she was angry at her sister for not helping play host, and she was worried and anxious and stressed about all of the things.

And Jesus was like, martha, it's okay.

You know, you're anxious and upset about many things when only one thing is necessary.

And Mary is doing that part.

And Mary is doing that thing, like, so many times.

We put so much pressure on ourselves, and society puts so much pressure on men and women alike, and it's this, like, go, go, go, get everything done mentality.

If you're not doing things, you know, a million miles a minute, you're not being productive.

I had that breakdown this week.

Yeah.

Girl crying, yelling at my husband.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All of it.

Yeah.

I mean, it's.

It's the reason Clint quit his job.

Because we got to a point in our lives where we were just like, what are we doing?

And why?

Because some them out there says that this is how.

This is what we should be doing.

And we don't see our kids, and we don't spend any time with them.

Maybe two or three hours at the end of the day before everybody goes to bed, and that's it.

And that's supposed to be life.

And we're supposed to.

We're supposed to be pouring into them and making them into the man and woman that they're gonna be.

How can we do that two to three hours a day?

Like, it's impossible.

It's impossible.

So we got to the point where we were just like, we.

People think we're crazy, but we're like, you're crazy because we got it figured out.

Like, this is what works for us.

This is not how we're meant to be.

Right.

This is just not.

It wasn't designed this way.

It wasn't set up this way.

This is not how we're meant to raise our kids and to be together.

This is just.

This is not it.

And I get it.

One of us still has to work, and we still have to earn money because on this side of things, we have bills and there's groceries and there's a mortgage and there's other stuff.

Kids that grow out of thing every month.

Every month?

Yeah.

And need new clothes, like, every month.

So all that takes money.

So it's not to say that that doesn't have its consequences, too, but we were lucky enough that we got to the point where he didn't need to work, honey, quit your job.

I got this.

And we'll figure it out and we'll make it work because there's something more here that we're supposed to be doing than the rat race that we're caught in.

Yeah.

You know, and the first person I went to was Lizzie.

And I was like, how do you do this?

Right?

Yeah.

And she's like, I don't know, God doesn't.

And I was like, okay, that's exactly what we were talking about before we came in here with myself and my husband.

You know, and sometimes it is that trusting God and not everybody's situation is the same.

No, of course not.

But if, like, if you're in a season where your mental health is not good and the mental health of your family or your marriage is not good, it's time to take a big step back and kind of look at what needs to change in order to make that better.

And sometimes that's changing your lifestyle and completely going a different direction.

You know what I mean?

There's so many different things.

And just praying and asking God for guidance.

Where do we go from here?

How do we fix this?

How do I have more time for myself and my mental health?

Mental health is so important.

And what you were talking about before with like, as far as what you're feeding yourself, not just spiritually and mentally, but physically too, what are you putting inside of your body, food wise?

Because all of that affects your physical health and your mental health.

Mental health starts in the gut.

So if that's not.

We all know I have gut issues.

If that's all, if that stuff's not jiving, your hormones are going to be.

I mean, everything's going to be off.

So it's just kind of like looking at the whole picture and just trying to get back to the roots of health and vitality.

God's way too.

And like you said, sometimes medication is necessary, sometimes counseling is necessary.

Absolutely.

But like God told Elijah when he was sleeping in that tent for 40.

Days, he needed a nap and a snack.

A nap and a snack.

And he was like, God, just kill me.

Just kill me.

I'm ready to die.

Go ahead.

I can't handle it anymore.

I mean, he was depressed.

I'm done.

Honestly, like suicidal.

Like, he wasn't thinking about ways to kill himself, but he was asking God to kill him.

That's the same thing.

Yeah.

I don't have the energy to do it.

Please do it for me.

Please just take me out, you know?

And God was like, what you really need is a snack and a nap.

And then you'll be okay.

And then you're gonna need another snack and another.

Right, right.

And it's also too, you know, I mean, again, back to the support system.

Mm.

And, and you know, we, we talk about at the end of the 30 minute, 50s TV show, right.

You know, where everything, everything is worked out and it's all perfect if, if we're constantly, you know, on social media and we're comparing.

You know what I used to tell my sister in law all the time was, I would say, because she would go, well, I want to know what you know.

And I would go, okay, you guys just gotta pick it up and read it.

I mean, like, I didn't, I didn't know what I knew before.

I know what I know.

Download the Bible app and pick up, pick a, you know what I mean, a study and just start going through it.

But I would tell her, don't compare your chapter one with somebody else's chapter 20.

Because I said I'm not nearly where I would like to be, but that's time and I can't at work.

I'll have you know, newer officers will say, well, how can I, how can I get here?

And I'll tell them, time and experience, two things you cannot speed up.

Yeah.

Two things that just are the most annoying things on the face of the planet.

Because I can't download my brain onto a flash drive and give it to you.

No, I can't.

So I can't tell you all the experiences I've been through.

Yeah, you know, I can't give them to you so that you'll have all the knowledge and experience I have.

But that's just, that's the work part of it.

You just have to work.

And everybody's experience is different too.

Right.

And relationship, like talking about Christianity and you know, being a follower of Jesus and a believer of God and you know, and being in your Bible, yes, that's all good things too.

But you also need that relationship and that conversation and you don't really get to know God until you do that.

And that takes time to know all of the little ways that he can speak to you and come to you through people and things and signs and things like that that just speak straight to your heart and you know, without a shadow of a doubt that it's God leading you.

Like, you know, especially if you've been asking about something specific and then all of a sudden he's just smacking you in the face with it.

Over and over again.

Sometimes he starts gently, sometimes he goes right for the jugular.

Because he knows the only way that they're gonna hear me is if I do this.

You know, let me beat you upside the head of the rock real quick.

Hold on.

We're gonna have to be a little bit dramatic for this one, right?

But you can't get to any of that if you don't start somewhere.

And you have to, like, just like with any relationship, learning one another's personality.

And, you know, the feeling that you get when you're speaking to God.

And it's just.

It's an experience, and you can't really tell anybody that.

Like, you can't explain it.

They have to learn that for themselves.

And even if you try to explain it, they stare at you like you're nuts.

Like, what do you mean God talks to you?

And I'm like, I don't know how to explain it.

Like, I mean, I'm not saying he whispers in my ear.

I mean, like, he doesn't.

He's not doing.

Like.

He'S not going, okay, Lucy, here's what you.

Here's what I'm going to need you to do.

No, it's.

Right.

It does.

Like, in the midst of chaos, the peace that you're like, that shouldn't make me feel peaceful.

Right, yeah, that peace that surpasses all understanding.

Like, when it hits you about a subject or a topic that you're going through, I.

Sure, right.

And then you're just like, yeah, like, I feel it.

This is where we're supposed to go, you know?

This is what we're supposed to do.

Yeah.

But, yeah, there's no way to explain that to anybody.

And before I really kind of understood that about my relationship with God, people would go, oh, yeah, God talks to me.

I'm like, I wish God would talk to me, too.

That sounds really cool.

Yeah.

I don't know how to get that, though.

Like, there's no.

There's.

There's no book for that.

I mean, there's.

There's the Bible, but there's no book that actually teaches you.

And how he speaks to me and.

How he speaks to you are two totally different things.

So, like, how do you explain that to somebody?

Like, you can.

And then you try.

And then people stare at you like, you've got, like, three heads and eight arms, and they're looking at you like, are you sure you're just not nuts?

And I'm like, no, I'm not nuts.

Like, that's how that happened.

I Mean, maybe we're all a little nuts.

Maybe we're all a little nuts.

I don't know.

But I know what I know, and I know that the things that I have been through should not have worked out and have worked out.

Oh, yeah.

And that can only be because of God.

Oh, yeah.

It certainly wasn't because I tried to mess it up so many times along the way.

No, no, no.

Door after door after door after door.

And there's no reason that there should have been a window open.

Right.

Or the door should have been locked, and it wasn't locked.

There's no reason for any of that.

When Clint and I.

When he was.

When we were really having our issues and he was still working for the sheriff's office, and he called me one day and he was like, I'm going to quit my job, and I'm going to get a different job.

And I knew.

Yes.

He was like, well, what about this?

And I said, honey, listen, you've given God your standard, and that's what it's going to be.

So anything above that, you're going to take it.

I don't care what it is.

Yeah.

I don't care what you're doing.

I don't care how much you're making.

Right.

You said, here's where I.

Here's below.

This is what I won't do.

And I said, so anything above that, you're gonna do.

Yeah.

So if it's $15 an hour, minimum wage, then that's what you're gonna do.

It is what it is.

Right.

We'll figure it out.

God's bringing it to it.

Right?

Bringing it to or bringing us to it?

He's gonna lead us through it kind of a thing.

And then that led to, two years later, he was able to quit his job.

Yeah.

Altogether.

Right.

You know, so, I mean, it'll.

It'll happen.

You just have to allow yourself to do it.

But again, getting off the couch and taking a shower and walk into the mailbox.

I get it.

Is.

Yeah.

Seems impossible when you're in it and you're like, I don't even want to get up and go to the bathroom.

Mm.

And sometimes you just need somebody that will come and sit with you in it for a little while.

Like, especially if you've just gone through a traumatic event or something crazy.

I mean, the speed at which we expect people to overcome severe trauma and death and not even, you know, and just.

You gotta plan the funeral.

Like, if somebody dies, it's like, you gotta plan the funeral.

You have to have.

Who's speaking?

Like, you have to plan the ceremony.

You know that within like a couple of days.

And you don't have time to grieve, it all hits you after that.

And we don't allow people the space and the time to mourn.

And not just mourn the death of people, especially if we know that they were believers and we're going to see them again someday in heaven.

But you're mourning that loss of relationship here on earth.

And even if it's not the death of a person, but the death of an era, or the death of something, or the death of a friendship, all of those things, we don't.

Society doesn't allow the time and the space for people to actually go through all of the stages of grieving fast.

You gotta get over it because you can't dwell there and like, no, you shouldn't live there, but it's okay to be there for a little while.

You just can't stay there forever, you know?

And every day things get a little bit better and a little bit easier.

And if some days you're just like, hey, I'm having a bad day, I mean, then, okay, you're having a bad day.

I saw this, this meme that, I don't know, hit me pretty hard, I guess, and it said that parents who have kids, who are being kids, if myself as a parent did not get to really experience a childhood, then they're expecting their kids.

How come my kids are acting so immature?

But that's because your kids are acting their age and you were never able to be that age.

And I was like, yep, that was me.

I was never.

So I get frustrated with my 6 and my 10 year old because they're acting like 6 and 10 year olds.

And I was never as immature, quote unquote, as my 10 year old is.

Because I wasn't allowed to be immature at 10.

Right.

You had to be a grownup.

I had to be a grownup.

A little.

A mini grownup.

Right.

To help my dad.

Right.

Responsibilities.

Put food on the table and keep the light, the lights on in the house.

So those are big responsibilities for a 10 year old, which my son doesn't have any idea about because that's not his job to know about those things.

That's my job and my responsibility as an adult.

And not that.

And I understand my childhood.

I understand the reason why things were the way they were, and it is what it is.

But I find myself getting frustrated with my kids and I'm like, okay, calm down.

Right don't be frustrated.

Your kids are their kids, right?

They should be allowed time to not know anything and to live in ignorant bliss.

Because the moment it ends, that's the end of an error.

The moment that they find out how cruel and real the world really is.

I mean, you can't go back.

Once, you know, once Pandora's box has been opened and you know how terrible people can really be, then the rest of it is just like, well, I wish I could go back and make it so that you didn't have to know all that.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And like for me, like my like my parents didn't talk about any of that stuff that they were going through.

My mom did a little bit more than my dad.

But like she's now like, you know, has talked to me more about some of the things and stuff that she, you know, felt went through, whatever.

And I find myself like one time when I was serenity, like I'll be like, I know I'm being unreasonable.

And I tell her, I know I'm being unreasonable right now.

Right.

I just can't deal with this right now.

And she's like, what do you mean?

And I'm like, well, I'm trying to explain it to her.

And I'm like, my mom would have never explain that to me.

Like not right because so important.

That's so awesome that you like.

I'm like, okay.

I'm like.

She would just come up to me, she was like.

And I was like, I need you to go away, cuz I can't deal with you right now.

She's like, what do you mean?

I was like, you're overwhelming me.

I just need some space.

Mommy overstimulated, okay?

And she walked away and it was fine.

And she came back later and cuddled me with me.

And it's just like having that explanation, like having being like, okay.

Like she came in when I was crying and screaming with Derek.

I mean it wasn't that bad, but it was.

And she's like, why is mom crying?

I was like, I'm just overwhelmed by all the things that we need to be doing the next couple weeks and I just need to cry.

She's like, okay.

And just like got up and walked out and was like, okay, but I want to see her that she knows that I'm dealing with stuff and how to properly.

Because like that really wasn't like I feel bad for my mom because I wasn't modeled for her at all.

And so she kind of started to model it a little Bit, but, like, you still don't talk about it.

Like, you know, it's not public knowledge or whatever, you know, and it's like, okay, I need to be more upfront with her about that because, like, you're not the only one going through this.

And I'm like.

And I know at some point, like, with your kids, you've probably been through this.

Like, you could tell them the same thing five or six times, but if somebody else who's not mom or dad tells them, they're like, so much.

Sarah.

Yeah.

And it's like.

And it's a brand new idea for me.

Thanks.

But I think it's probably the same thing with mental health, dealing with them.

Like, you can tell them about that and you can have them see you walk through it and stuff, or, like, how you've dealt with it.

And I've told her before, like, just because that's the way that I deal with things doesn't mean that's the way.

You have to deal with things.

Which is crazy, because when I was her age, I was destructive to myself.

I didn't cut or anything like that, but I would take pins and just stab myself, and I'd have bruises and welts all over myself.

My mom, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry, she doesn't know.

But I saw her start to do stuff like that, and I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Like, you don't hurt, like, hitting.

She would hit herself, you know?

And I was like, no, like, we don't.

Like, we don't do that.

Like.

And I was like, what have I done to my child?

Like.

Cause I'm like, that's me.

Like, that's me.

Like, that's how it started.

And that's her trying to, like, figure out what to do with all of those emotions, you know?

I mean, kids do that.

They do that.

And if we don't.

If we're not paying attention and trying to help them navigate those things in healthy ways, they resort to things like that, you know?

And, like, I did.

I didn't do it as a child, but as I got older and I was going through my teen years, and I just had so much drama and trauma and, you know, all kinds of stuff just around me constantly, and I didn't know what to do with it.

And the only time that things felt quiet was when I was hurting myself because I was thinking about something else other than everything else that was going on around me.

And it's hard for people to understand who haven't been in a situation like that.

Right.

But let me tell you that once I got through and it was a very short period of time for me, for some people, it goes on for a really long time.

But the people, especially teenagers and young adults that I've been able to speak into on that subject, as someone who was there, I'm thankful that God put me.

That I went through some of those things.

Right.

Because you don't really feel comfortable talking to people that haven't been there because they don't really understand and they kind of look at you like you're a little crazy looney Tune.

You know what I mean?

I mean, everybody has their things that they do that was a coping.

An unhealthy coping mechanism is what it is, you know, So.

I mean, there's many times where serenity will be like, just.

And it's like, okay, go in your room.

Just don't.

Like we ask you not to destroy anything.

But you could say whatever.

You can scream, you can.

Whatever you need to do to get that out.

As long as, like, she's not saying, like, really bad things, like, but like, that's just go, let it out.

Go, let it out.

Go, let it out.

Screaming it out is amazing.

I used to.

Our house in Maryland was in the middle of, like, we had a little farm.

Ish area.

And I would go up into the top field and just like, just let it.

Nothing coherent.

Just get it all out.

And it's like, like you feel I.

Can finally breathe again.

You know, a release after.

When you get to that point, and a lot of it too, like you were saying before, is communication and the lack of communication in life and relationships.

And none of us are really taught how to communicate properly.

We all are.

Coming from those generations that didn't talk about things that were uncomfortable or that were controversial or anything like that.

You just kept those things to yourself.

And even in relationships, unless something was like, ridiculous and needed to be talked about, you just dealt with it, right?

You just dealt with it and you just moved on.

No, you should really.

And if you're in a relationship with someone, whether it's a partner or a friend or whatever, or even co workers, you've got to learn how to communicate issues with one another.

Otherwise it just snowballs inside of you.

Yeah.

You know, Clint can tell you how really terrible I am at communicating.

And I just.

I don't communicate.

I just deal with it, you know, because that's what I was taught.

I wasn't taught to communicate about anything.

Certainly not My emotions, because I came from a father who came from that generation where there's certain things that we don't talk about and that should not be named, and it is what it is.

So I had to learn how to communicate by being with him, and then he had to learn that.

Unless you're gonna, like, pick at me and drag it out of me, I'll never.

We'll never talk about it ever again if you don't do that.

Yeah.

So he's learned.

Okay, come on.

We're gonna talk about.

I don't want to.

Yep, yep.

Come on.

Nope.

Don't want to.

Get it out.

We're gonna sit here until you talk about it.

We're gonna sit here and I'm gonna keep nagging you until you talk about it.

And then finally.

But even then, the few quote unquote arguments that we've had.

I don't say anything.

Yeah, whatever.

You're.

You're being this, this, and this.

You're right.

I am.

That's exactly what I am.

And he.

That frustrates him more because I just accept whatever it is he's just told me.

Mm.

Okay.

You're right.

That's exactly how I am.

You're right.

And then that.

Then now he's really upset because.

Because I don't.

I don't fight back because I wasn't taught to fight back.

That's not.

That's just not what you do.

Yeah.

You know, so I don't.

And then he'll go, Right.

And sometimes, like, in the moment, you kind of need to do that, especially if you're trying not to escalate a situation.

You know, I love the whole, like, are you bringing water to the argument or the problem or are you bringing gasoline to the fire type of thing and that.

That's the same with kids and anxiety and teens and adults.

Like, most of the time, I feel like when we feel.

Especially, I mean, kids too.

But when you're feeling like you don't matter and that nobody cares and all those things, it's because you're just genuinely feeling unappreciated, unseen, unheard, for whatever reason.

It could be a whole bunch of little small things or it could be a big thing.

Right.

You know, and then again, with the communication and the relationship and the support system and all of those things, and.

What are you feeding yourself?

Right?

What?

Who are you listening to?

Are you listening to social media?

Are you listening to the world?

Right.

Tell you who you are, or you listen to God and what God tells who God tells You.

You are.

Because those are two totally different things.

And it took me a very long time to realize that a lot of my.

And I'm not.

I'm not perfect.

I still have days where I'm like, well, you know, but I think I have.

I have less days now.

Certainly within the last year.

I've been really trying to work on what.

Who am I listening to?

Mm.

And am I listening to God?

And what God's who God says I am.

Because that's who I should be listening to.

Because God.

God doesn't say that I messed up and that I don't deshat I'm unworthy and I don't deserve.

God says that I was worth dying for, so that should be the only thing that I hold on to.

And the rest of it.

Okay.

Yeah, I have to live in this world, and yes, I have to work in this world, and I have a job and I have a boss, and I have things that I have to do and say in order to survive in that world.

But outside of that, I don't have to do anything else.

Right.

I don't have to listen to what Facebook or Twitter, X, whatever you want to call it or what anything else out there is going to tell me that I should or shouldn't be doing or that my husband and I should be living some, you know, life where we're making all the money.

You know, we did that already and we were miserable.

Yeah, he was miserable.

Yeah.

And that made us miserable.

So we've been there, done that, and that doesn't.

And I know, you know, plenty of people will get up.

Nick's talked about living that life.

You know, I mean, so it's not just, you know, it's not just that.

That's not the only way to live.

No.

You know, but.

But you really do have to pay attention to.

Who are you listening to?

And then what, when you're having anxiety or you're.

You're in a season of depression, what's triggering all of that?

What's underneath?

Because again, it's not about the trash can.

It's about all this other stuff that's left under the rug that you slept.

With and you haven't talked about or haven't talked about or found solutions for or you're working towards.

Right.

And if you don't deal with any of that, if you're just.

You would rather just deal with the depression and the anxiety.

Okay.

I mean, I don't know, like, what.

You were saying and what we were talking about before, about what Are you feeding yourself?

Okay, but what are you feeding, right?

Are you like what you're.

Whatever you feed is what is going to get bigger and whatever you starve is what's going to die.

The story of the two wolves.

There's two wolves inside of everybody.

So it's a grandfather and a grandson and they're talking and the grandfather says, everybody has two wolves inside of them.

And the grandson says, which one wins when they're fighting?

And the grandfather tells him, the one you feed.

Yeah, that's right.

The one you feed is the one that's gonna live and the one you starve is the.

Is the one that's gonna die.

So which, who are you?

What are you feeding?

What are you spending your time doing?

What are you putting your time and energy into?

Are you wallowing in self pity or are you trying to think of things you're grateful for or look for God in the Bible or reaching out to friends and family to support you or getting yourself involved in a small group or there's so many different things that you can do to help writing it.

Starting a gratitude journal or taking a walk every day and thinking about things that you're grateful for.

Like all of those things you're feeding.

You want to feed the positivity, you know what I mean?

And you want to starve the enemy.

You want to, you know, you don't, you don't want to give him.

He doesn't need any fuel.

No, he's got enough, you know, he's got enough for me anyway.

You want to starve him.

You want to starve him by feeding yourself and feeding your relationship with God and with people that will surround you in times like that when you need them.

Yeah.

And I just like talking about this, talking through this.

My mom did something that now I'm realizing what she was actually doing.

I'm like, oh, no.

But like we would, like I would, you know, butt heads with her and stuff.

And like I would get sent to my room like I do with serenity.

And she would come in and check on me.

She'd be like, are you ready to talk?

And if I said no, she'd leave me alone and let me just sit in that.

Yeah.

And she would come back, you ready to talk?

Right?

And she could tell, I mean, she could usually tell before I answered her if I were ready to talk.

But she would just, but she let me have, in that craziness, have some kind of control by being allowed to sit in that if that's what I wanted to do.

For a while.

But we were going to talk about it and deal with it afterwards.

Absolutely.

Every time we were going to talk about it and deal with it afterwards, it was like, you couldn't.

There wasn't the option to just let it fester.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

That means we're gonna cancel stuff and you're gonna be mad at me as a mom, and that's canceling all the stuff.

Yeah.

Because we're gonna deal with it.

We're gonna get through this and deal with it and not just let it.

Not push under the rug, not wait till tomorrow, not go to bed angry.

You know what I mean?

We gotta get through this.

I'm like, that's what God does with us all the freaking time.

He does.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you ready to talk about now?

Well, you're ready.

You're ready.

I'm here.

Yep, 100%.

I went through something traumatic a couple years ago, and I was so frustrated with God and conversations that I had with him.

And I was.

My true, authentic self and told him exactly how I was feeling in the moment.

Right.

And he was trying to talk to me through things, stuff coming on the radio stuff.

And I was like, I am not ready to speak to you yet.

And I would change.

We're not on speaking terms.

I'm not on listening terms.

I am not.

Right.

And then, you know, it got to a point where just like with our.

He's our Heavenly Father.

Right?

We're all his children, and we are rebellious teenagers 99% of the time.

Like, that's just our human nature.

I want to do it my way.

You know, I want to do it my way, or I don't understand why you just did that to me.

And I don't even want to hear your side of the story right now.

Because I'm really upset with what you're putting me through.

You know, those types of days and conversations.

And some people.

I was talking to someone the other day, and they were saying how they were trying to pray more, but they didn't want to do it wrong.

And I was like, there's no wrong way to pray.

It's just a conversation, a genuine conversation between you and God.

That's how you need to start.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Said all kinds of not nice things and things.

I wish I wouldn't have said yes.

But otherwise you wouldn't have been.

Be right.

He can take it.

He knows who you are.

He knows.

You already knew.

I thought about it.

Exactly.

He knew.

Right.

So why hold that back from him?

He already knows what's in your heart, he knows what's in your head.

And is it really a real relationship if you're holding things back from him?

No, it's not.

You know, it's gotta be this, that open, you know, it's a two way.

Street and it has to be a two way street.

You know, you can't get something for nothing.

And not that, not that that's what we're in it for.

But the communication has to be open.

Otherwise what are we doing?

Otherwise we don't.

You don't have a relationship with somebody who doesn't talk to you or doesn't communicate with you.

That's not a relationship.

No.

And it's not a real authentic relationship unless you're being truthful and real and you're not holding things back.

You know, I mean, yes, there are nicer ways we could say things sometimes.

But sometimes what I got is what.

I got right, you know, and sometimes I love that there's like a song, it's called Better than a Hallelujah.

I can't remember who sings it, but it's talking about how, like sometimes, you know, a drunkard's cry is better than a hallelujah.

A mother's weeping is better than.

Because that's.

God can hear you and know you and know what your needs are and know what you're going through, even if you can't speak.

Like he understands what you need even through screams and sighs and sobs, you know, like so even if you don't know what to say, you know, that's a good starting point.

Yeah.

And also like in the end, all this mental elemental health stuff, like, it just shows you how complex God made us, which is amazing.

Like the fact that we can have, like, I know that sounds stupid, but the fact that we can have these problems like that, like our bodies work in such a way and then like one little thing is off and like, yeah, like that's just amazing in itself, of itself and speaks more to God than anything else.

Like, oh, yeah, we're such complex beings.

And like I said before, it's amazing.

Yeah, it is.

Okay.

And I love how when, I love when science finally catches up with the Bible, like with the whole gratitude versus fear thing and anxiety thing.

Like this book told us that thousands of years ago and we are just now like, oh, check this out.

Proving that what's in there is actually real as opposed to just something that somebody wrote down.

Because nobody would be able to know that.

You know what I mean?

They wouldn't have been able to Know that four or five thousand years ago.

I mean, when you don't even wash.

Your hands, you don't even know how diseases spread.

Of course not.

But God has these rules of how you're supposed to cook things and how.

You should and for a reason.

And how would they have known that without the Bible?

They wouldn't have.

I wrote down just a couple, just for anybody that's listening.

I wrote down some Bible verses that provide comfort for those struggling with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, ptsd, adhd, you know, all of those things.

And I just wanted to say a couple, just so that people can look them up if they're in a season where they're really just needing that encouragement.

So Psalms, there's a ton of psalms.

David, you know, Psalm.

I mean, I could list them, but there's so many.

Read through the entire book of Psalms.

Basically, David knows everything, right?

So many.

If I listed them, we'd be here till tomorrow.

No, read through the Psalms, but Then also Philippians 4, 6, 7, which is do not be anxious about anything.

But in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds.

And then Matthew 11, 28, 29, come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Those are so good, you know.

And then there's a couple more.

I won't read them all, but I'll just say what they are if you want to look them up.

1st Peter 5, verse 10, Psalm 34, 17, 18, Isaiah 40, verse 31, Romans 8, 38 to 39, 1st Peter 5, 6, 7.

So those are just some really good ones.

There's so much support for you in the Bible and in your relationship with God and his followers.

If you just let them in and let him in.

So don't do it alone.

Don't think you can do it alone.

Yeah, don't do it alone.

Yeah, definitely.

And just find even one person.

So at work we have something called eap, which is employee assistance program and that deals with anything and everything, whether it's work related or personal life related.

If you're dealing with substance abuse, if you're dealing with financial issues, whatever it is.

And it's a program that's completely anonymous.

If you call, you become a number in the system and Your employer doesn't even know.

So when I go over that with the newer officers we have, then I always say, find somebody, anybody, if it can't be a family member, because I get it.

Maybe that's not what you want.

They're judgmental.

They're not going to understand, or they have all these.

They know your past, so that's.

It's more difficult for you to talk to them, find anybody to talk to about whatever it is you're going through, because you never know if God put that person in your life for that space, specific reason to lead you through whatever it is you're going through.

And I know Lizzie and I have talked about this many times, but, you know, she came to me because she was going through some stuff with her daughter.

And I was like, I got you, if you want to know.

I'm your daughter.

She kept me sane.

I texted her this week.

I was like, thank you for keeping me sane.

Right.

So there is.

There is somebody somewhere who has literally been where you are.

And you are not the only person.

You're not the first person.

You won't be the last person.

Everybody has been there, done that in some kind of way.

Even if it's not fully your situation, they have certainly felt what you felt.

They have certainly been through even a part of what you're going through.

Nobody in here.

We're not reinventing the wheel.

It's.

What is it that Nick always says?

It's always the same or there's nothing different under the sun or whatever it is.

There's nothing different under the sun.

The Bible has everything you could possibly think of.

Every situation, from abuse to sexual abuse to addiction, to depression, to anxiety.

Even if those specific words are not written in the Bible, those stories are all still there.

Oh, yeah.

So just reach out to anybody, somebody.

Don't keep it to yourself, because don't.

Go through it alone.

We weren't meant to do that.

No.

And Jesus knows that you're worth dying for.

He got up on a cross and he died for you.

And that's the only thing you need to know.

You know, the rest of it is just garbage.

Period.

End of sentence.

End of sentence.

Jesus died for you.

That's it.

Like, that's it.

That's it.

No buts.

You don't have to.

There's not.

There's not a but.

He washed it all clean.

He doesn't keep score.

No, none of that.

So we love you guys and we hope that whoever's out there that needs help, that you reach out to somebody.

Yeah, absolutely.

And there's a whole bunch of different organizations and stuff, too.

You know, there's like, there's help lines and things.

So if even if you feel like you don't have anybody to call, you know, look that up for your area and just reach out to someone.

Definitely.

Thank you guys for joining us.

Yeah, thanks for joining us.

Hopefully this helps.

Yeah.

And we'll see you guys next time.

Sounds good.

See ya.

Hey, thanks for joining us.

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