00:00:00,666 --> 00:00:04,270

Squirrel. In this episode, we're going to talk you through why you

00:00:04,340 --> 00:00:07,662

need to have more fun. For fun's sake. For

00:00:07,796 --> 00:00:11,294

sake. Hi, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and money

00:00:11,332 --> 00:00:14,510

mindset coach. And welcome to the Weenie cast Squirrel.

00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:19,514

Here's the story of something that never actually happened. My friend Laura.

00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:23,114

Laura Bernard, I met in Denver this past year. It was a whole LinkedIn

00:00:23,162 --> 00:00:26,946

networking thing. We quickly became name business besties and we chat fairly

00:00:26,978 --> 00:00:30,646

often. Anyway, towards the end of the year, we decided we wanted to

00:00:30,668 --> 00:00:34,438

do like a whole manifestation live, where we would go through and kind

00:00:34,444 --> 00:00:38,214

of organize all of our goals for 2024. And we do it on a live.

00:00:38,252 --> 00:00:41,994

We make it a lot of fun. And she had this brilliant idea

00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:46,042

that we would do it as bingo cards. So instead of just having list

00:00:46,096 --> 00:00:49,882

of goals that you check off and cross off throughout the year,

00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:53,546

it would be like a year long game of bingo. Bingo.

00:00:53,658 --> 00:00:57,466

And if you're familiar with bingo, you have to have five categories,

00:00:57,578 --> 00:01:01,374

right? Bi N-G-O. We were trying

00:01:01,412 --> 00:01:05,234

to come up with our five categories of what we

00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:09,006

wanted to focus on, and so work, obviously, that's

00:01:09,038 --> 00:01:12,690

a category. Money. Great. Yes. That's another

00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:16,514

category for goals that we want to hit. Health was

00:01:16,552 --> 00:01:20,246

the third category. Working out, eating healthy, being

00:01:20,268 --> 00:01:23,926

our best selves, all that jazz. But then we couldn't figure out any other

00:01:23,948 --> 00:01:27,606

categories. And we spent a good 20 minutes on the phone

00:01:27,708 --> 00:01:31,260

trying to figure out. What we both did for fun,

00:01:32,110 --> 00:01:35,834

because. We don't really do anything for fun. We do business stuff.

00:01:35,952 --> 00:01:39,322

And this is one of the pitfalls. Of having

00:01:39,376 --> 00:01:43,034

ADHD and being so excited and hyper

00:01:43,082 --> 00:01:46,654

focused and obsessed with what it is that you do for work is that your

00:01:46,692 --> 00:01:48,240

work becomes your fun.

00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:55,006

But at a certain point, it kind of stops being the fun thing that

00:01:55,028 --> 00:01:58,414

you do. It stops being the hobby that you do in addition to your corporate

00:01:58,462 --> 00:02:02,158

job. And it becomes your job, it becomes

00:02:02,334 --> 00:02:06,114

how you support yourself. And there's a lot of pressure on that. And so

00:02:06,232 --> 00:02:10,038

I think we settled on. We weren't going to do bingo. We were

00:02:10,044 --> 00:02:13,686

just going to do bing. Because we couldn't come up with that

00:02:13,708 --> 00:02:17,478

fifth category. It wasn't landing. And it's like we didn't want to

00:02:17,484 --> 00:02:21,222

give ourselves goals that we weren't actually excited for. But then, of course,

00:02:21,276 --> 00:02:24,854

I got sick. I had Covid between Christmas and New Year's,

00:02:24,902 --> 00:02:28,266

and we didn't do it. So it didn't actually happen. So you wouldn't have seen

00:02:28,288 --> 00:02:32,126

this live ever. But it triggered this conversation that I've been having with myself

00:02:32,228 --> 00:02:35,390

over the last month around. Am I boring?

00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:40,000

Is this what I want to do with my life?

00:02:40,930 --> 00:02:44,766

All the existence stuff, walking my dog, cooking meals, which

00:02:44,788 --> 00:02:48,434

I do enjoy cooking, working on my business, which I love. It is

00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:52,114

something that brings me so much joy and inspiration, and I'm very

00:02:52,152 --> 00:02:55,986

passionate about it. Doing this podcast, for example. I love doing this

00:02:56,008 --> 00:02:59,506

podcast. And I thought back to when I considered

00:02:59,538 --> 00:03:03,078

myself the most fun. And it was really when

00:03:03,164 --> 00:03:07,014

I worked in corporate, it was when I worked in sales and I was doing

00:03:07,052 --> 00:03:10,570

well in pretty much all the facets of my life. And there's a difference

00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,818

between working for a company and working for yourself,

00:03:13,904 --> 00:03:17,290

obviously. And when it comes to fun,

00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:21,066

it's that you can walk away from your work for the weekend, you

00:03:21,088 --> 00:03:24,894

can leave work at work for the most part. You might have a couple

00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:28,334

of thoughts about, I need to get that done on Monday. But you're not

00:03:28,372 --> 00:03:32,062

responsible for everything, right? You get to go and

00:03:32,116 --> 00:03:35,282

have little adventures, do things that you really

00:03:35,336 --> 00:03:39,006

enjoy and really just go and live life in your spare

00:03:39,038 --> 00:03:42,322

time. And that changes when you become a business

00:03:42,376 --> 00:03:45,170

owner. When you're a business owner,

00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:49,106

every moment you're awake and mostly

00:03:49,138 --> 00:03:52,854

conscious, you're thinking about stuff you should be doing in your

00:03:52,892 --> 00:03:56,614

business. And I know I'm not alone when I say

00:03:56,732 --> 00:04:00,570

I fall into the trap of thinking of fun things to do,

00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,442

but then making it a work thing because I make the fun thing

00:04:04,496 --> 00:04:08,006

into content. Carving pumpkins, that's

00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:11,338

content. Going to a museum, that's content.

00:04:11,504 --> 00:04:15,342

Cooking something for the first time, that's content trying

00:04:15,396 --> 00:04:18,558

to get my dog to go swimming with me when she really doesn't want to

00:04:18,564 --> 00:04:22,206

go swimming. Content. Although you're never going to see that video anyway.

00:04:22,308 --> 00:04:25,826

So instead of actually having fun, you make the fun things

00:04:25,928 --> 00:04:29,282

into more work, which is not the point of having

00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:32,898

fun. Let's talk about the benefits

00:04:32,984 --> 00:04:34,180

of having fun.

00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:39,350

A. It's fun. It brings you joy.

00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:43,714

Joy is valuable. I think as a society, especially in western

00:04:43,762 --> 00:04:47,446

culture, we don't create space in our

00:04:47,468 --> 00:04:51,194

lives for joy. Right. And I think also we see

00:04:51,232 --> 00:04:54,554

other people having quote unquote fun, and they're doing so in a really

00:04:54,592 --> 00:04:57,846

expensive know, they're having fun on their private

00:04:57,878 --> 00:05:01,626

yacht. They're having fun by spending gazillion

00:05:01,658 --> 00:05:05,486

dollars at, I don't know, a designer place like Chanel. I was

00:05:05,508 --> 00:05:09,120

buying time. I couldn't remember the name of a designer. Anyway, let me see.

00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:15,298

I'm honestly struggling for other things that people do for fun. This is

00:05:15,304 --> 00:05:19,026

how out of touch I am with fun right now. We

00:05:19,048 --> 00:05:22,450

don't value it. We don't value just pure joy.

00:05:22,870 --> 00:05:26,422

We value productivity, we value getting things

00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:30,230

done. We value making money. We also value

00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:34,086

things like having impact about fulfilling our

00:05:34,108 --> 00:05:37,766

passions. But without joy, without creating space for

00:05:37,788 --> 00:05:41,066

joy in our lives, how are you going to feel when you're on your

00:05:41,088 --> 00:05:44,746

deathbed? Wow, we just went dark, didn't we? Okay,

00:05:44,848 --> 00:05:48,522

so as an existential question, like what is life without

00:05:48,576 --> 00:05:52,378

joy? And how do you want to look back on your life? Do you

00:05:52,384 --> 00:05:55,760

want to look back and be like, oh, I crossed off my to do list,

00:05:56,130 --> 00:05:59,326

got everything done? Or do you want to look back and think about all the

00:05:59,348 --> 00:06:02,826

times that you experience pure, unbridled joy

00:06:02,938 --> 00:06:06,322

or a combination of the two? It's up to you. But as business

00:06:06,376 --> 00:06:10,114

owners, there is a consciousness that we

100

00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:13,954

have to approach joy with. There is an intentionality that

101

00:06:13,992 --> 00:06:17,606

we didn't have to have when we worked in corporate. Because all of the

102

00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:21,174

responsibility of this business lays on our shoulders. And

103

00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:24,934

especially for those of us with ADHD, with our

104

00:06:24,972 --> 00:06:28,594

minds that go a million miles a minute and constantly

105

00:06:28,642 --> 00:06:32,474

make connections to things that we have at work, things

106

00:06:32,512 --> 00:06:36,310

that we have ideas for, creative ideas, blah, blah, blah, that's constantly

107

00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:40,194

in that swirl. We have to find a way to get ourselves

108

00:06:40,262 --> 00:06:42,510

out of work mode and into joy mode.

109

00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:48,766

Now, the perks to your health, experiencing joy on a

110

00:06:48,788 --> 00:06:52,606

regular basis lowers your stress levels. When you

111

00:06:52,628 --> 00:06:56,190

have less stress, you live longer. When you're joyful

112

00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:59,778

around your friends and family, guess what? Those relationships become

113

00:06:59,864 --> 00:07:03,714

stronger. And even as I'm describing this, my brain is going

114

00:07:03,752 --> 00:07:07,358

to the perks to your work. When you really set aside time for.

115

00:07:07,384 --> 00:07:11,174

Joy, when you're in flow, when you're. In flow in something

116

00:07:11,212 --> 00:07:15,062

that you really enjoy, this project, it's creative, it has different parts of

117

00:07:15,116 --> 00:07:18,934

your brain working. You're going to get ideas for work.

118

00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:22,458

You'Re going to get ideas for how you can serve your clients better, you're going

119

00:07:22,464 --> 00:07:26,186

to get ideas for how you can make some system easier on the

120

00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:29,818

back end for what you do in. Your day to day. You're not going to

121

00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:33,566

have those ideas if you don't invest your time into. Things that are

122

00:07:33,588 --> 00:07:37,390

joyful. And this is not as easy

123

00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:40,974

as it sounds. I mean,

124

00:07:41,012 --> 00:07:44,180

granted, I've only been really focusing on this for about a month,

125

00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:48,690

but in that month I've really struggled to figures

126

00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,500

out what I do for fun, what I find fun.

127

00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:57,054

This is something that a lot of ADHD people go through cycles

128

00:07:57,102 --> 00:08:00,594

on, right? Because when we're hyper fixated on a new hobby,

129

00:08:00,722 --> 00:08:03,846

that's the thing that we do, and it brings us so much joy. But when

130

00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:07,446

that hyper fixation ends and we have to find a new

131

00:08:07,468 --> 00:08:11,274

hyper fixation, going back to that old hobby isn't actually as fun as it used

132

00:08:11,312 --> 00:08:15,050

to be. So we're constantly in this cycle of

133

00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,858

going through things that bring us joy until the

134

00:08:18,864 --> 00:08:22,526

point that they no longer bring us joy. And the more business owners I speak

135

00:08:22,548 --> 00:08:25,838

to with ADHD, the more convinced I am that this is a

136

00:08:25,924 --> 00:08:29,086

specifically tough challenge for business owners. With

137

00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:32,574

ADHD, it's so common to

138

00:08:32,692 --> 00:08:36,434

burn out through all your hyper fixations, but then you're working for yourself, and so

139

00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:40,050

that kind of becomes your hyper fixation and you stop making

140

00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,602

time for fun in your life. In my whole self

141

00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:47,442

exploration of what brings me joy, there are a few things

142

00:08:47,496 --> 00:08:51,174

that I've identified that I think will be fun, and I kind of have

143

00:08:51,212 --> 00:08:54,630

fun with already that I'm consciously making more time for.

144

00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:58,578

Now, one of these things is cooking, and there are two kinds

145

00:08:58,594 --> 00:09:02,326

of cooking. There's the cooking for meal prepping, which is fine. It doesn't bring me

146

00:09:02,348 --> 00:09:05,866

joy, it doesn't make me miserable. It's just kind of like a neutral thing that

147

00:09:05,888 --> 00:09:09,338

I have to do and a neutral thing that I do that sometimes I don't

148

00:09:09,344 --> 00:09:13,126

even eat the food because I don't want to eat it because I'm hyper

149

00:09:13,158 --> 00:09:16,682

fixated on another food group at the time. But this is my routine.

150

00:09:16,826 --> 00:09:20,350

But what I'm talking about with cooking is like cooking something you've never

151

00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:24,062

tried before. This past weekend, I decided to

152

00:09:24,116 --> 00:09:27,954

venture into making lobster risotto arancini the next

153

00:09:27,992 --> 00:09:31,806

day. And if you're not familiar with what arancini is, it's

154

00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:35,026

a roman dish where they take a bottle of risotto, they bread it, and then

155

00:09:35,048 --> 00:09:38,114

they deep fry it, and they usually have a little bit of cheese in there.

156

00:09:38,152 --> 00:09:41,318

But with a lot of lobster, I didn't think cheese would be necessary, and it

157

00:09:41,324 --> 00:09:44,902

wasn't. It was delicious. It took a fucking ton of time.

158

00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:47,766

I had to go buy the lobsters. I had to kill the lobsters. I had

159

00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:51,314

to cook the lobsters, then remove the meat from the lobster

160

00:09:51,362 --> 00:09:54,874

shells. I had to use the shells to make a broth that I then had

161

00:09:54,912 --> 00:09:58,074

to use to make the risotto. And if you've never made risotto before, you basically

162

00:09:58,112 --> 00:10:01,946

have to stand there for almost an hour stirring it. I had

163

00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:05,086

to chop up vegetables for the stock, like all these things. And I know I'm

164

00:10:05,108 --> 00:10:08,734

describing this, and this does not sound like fun. This was so much fun. I

165

00:10:08,772 --> 00:10:12,586

got so invested in it, and it was like this new adventure that I got

166

00:10:12,628 --> 00:10:16,354

to embark on. And the

167

00:10:16,392 --> 00:10:20,114

best thing about cooking for me is cooking for other

168

00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:23,618

people, right? Because you spend all this time

169

00:10:23,784 --> 00:10:27,314

following the instructions, seeing how things turn out,

170

00:10:27,432 --> 00:10:30,994

and then you get to serve it and you get to see people's reactions.

171

00:10:31,122 --> 00:10:34,566

I'm not cooking risotto all the time. It takes too much time for me to

172

00:10:34,588 --> 00:10:35,160

173

00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:42,010

so. When we think about fun, we make fun complicated.

174

00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:46,042

But it doesn't have to be fun. Can

175

00:10:46,096 --> 00:10:49,834

be having an adventure in your own kitchen. You know, another thing

176

00:10:49,872 --> 00:10:53,678

that I've been toying around with over the last couple years is I have

177

00:10:53,764 --> 00:10:57,374

an idea for a fantasy novel. Now, it may be

178

00:10:57,412 --> 00:11:00,714

terrible. Who knows? It probably is a terrible

179

00:11:00,762 --> 00:11:04,190

idea. But I decided as part of my

180

00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:07,906

goals for 2024 that I want to. Take a

181

00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:11,474

whack at writing this novel. So I signed up for a fiction 101

182

00:11:11,512 --> 00:11:15,234

class. I may start this class and think it's terrible and not have

183

00:11:15,272 --> 00:11:19,046

fun with. It at all and then give it up. There's something to the

184

00:11:19,068 --> 00:11:22,790

adventure of trying. Something new, and it's something that is.

185

00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:26,594

Really hard to incorporate in your day to day life. But it is so necessary

186

00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:29,910

to people. With ADHD, because we don't just like.

187

00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:33,786

Variety, we have a need for variety. If you're not

188

00:11:33,808 --> 00:11:37,658

giving it new experiences, it's going to come up in your business,

189

00:11:37,744 --> 00:11:40,894

it's going to come up in your relationships, and it's going to royally fuck you

190

00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:41,520

over.

191

00:11:45,730 --> 00:11:49,358

Because if you're not feeding that need for variety with

192

00:11:49,444 --> 00:11:53,166

hobbies and little adventures and fun, then it's going

193

00:11:53,188 --> 00:11:56,866

to transfer to your business where it's going to undercut all the

194

00:11:56,888 --> 00:12:00,594

consistency, all that momentum that you've built. The other

195

00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:04,366

thing that I really had to set aside is having fun and then creating

196

00:12:04,398 --> 00:12:08,018

content out of it. As soon as I'm

197

00:12:08,034 --> 00:12:11,480

doing something fun and there's a pressure to record

198

00:12:12,010 --> 00:12:14,840

and to track it, it stops being fun for me.

199

00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:19,894

It starts being a performance. And I

200

00:12:19,932 --> 00:12:23,594

know, like, everything is content and we want people to feel

201

00:12:23,632 --> 00:12:27,194

like they know us and we want to have kind of an

202

00:12:27,232 --> 00:12:30,906

interesting story that we can tell on social media. But

203

00:12:31,008 --> 00:12:34,480

for the vast majority, the people that you connect with on social media

204

00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:38,926

aren't going to remember you 40 years from now. Are

205

00:12:38,948 --> 00:12:42,794

you living life for them, to entertain them for a few seconds

206

00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:46,674

now? Or are you living life so that at the end

207

00:12:46,712 --> 00:12:49,810

of your life, you don't have any regrets?

208

00:12:50,630 --> 00:12:54,274

And it's hard to take time off from your business to do something that's not

209

00:12:54,312 --> 00:12:58,086

productive in any way, shape or form. That isn't helping you

210

00:12:58,108 --> 00:13:01,446

make more money, that isn't helping you reach your goals, that isn't helping you get

211

00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:05,282

more clients. But it is so necessary

212

00:13:05,426 --> 00:13:09,266

to living the life you want. Something I have to remind

213

00:13:09,298 --> 00:13:12,874

my clients about all the time, when they're first starting out or

214

00:13:12,912 --> 00:13:16,154

when they are scaling their business to multiple six

215

00:13:16,192 --> 00:13:19,834

figures. You need to be really intentional about how you do

216

00:13:19,872 --> 00:13:23,326

this because it's fairly simple to design an

217

00:13:23,348 --> 00:13:27,198

arbitrarily successful business that brings in a certain amount of money, that helps a

218

00:13:27,204 --> 00:13:30,880

certain amount of clients. But that's not what we're after

219

00:13:31,570 --> 00:13:35,214

in the brave weenie world. We're not after arbitrary

220

00:13:35,262 --> 00:13:38,894

success. We're after individualized success. We're

221

00:13:38,942 --> 00:13:42,722

after designing a business that is successful in all the right

222

00:13:42,776 --> 00:13:46,386

ways that it can support you in living the life

223

00:13:46,488 --> 00:13:50,094

that you want. That's absolutely terrifying,

224

00:13:50,142 --> 00:13:53,334

because to be able to design a business that supports you in living the life

225

00:13:53,372 --> 00:13:56,134

that you actually want, you have to actually figure out what you want. And you

226

00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:59,926

have to have the ovaries to state it, to demand

227

00:13:59,958 --> 00:14:03,626

it, to ask for it. You have to be

228

00:14:03,648 --> 00:14:06,874

brave enough to have those conversations with your

229

00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:09,980

partner and with your family and with your friends.

230

00:14:11,790 --> 00:14:15,626

As people with ADHD, we've grown up knowing that we don't

231

00:14:15,658 --> 00:14:19,342

quite fit in to this neurotypical world. But we've also

232

00:14:19,396 --> 00:14:23,102

been bombarded by all the same messaging that everyone else is getting about

233

00:14:23,156 --> 00:14:26,842

what a successful, happy life looks like. It's the spouse

234

00:14:26,906 --> 00:14:30,434

with the 2.5 children and the dog and the cat and the white

235

00:14:30,472 --> 00:14:33,666

picket fence. At least it is in the United States. It may be different in

236

00:14:33,688 --> 00:14:34,980

your country of origin.

237

00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:42,358

We're handed this vision and we're told like, this is the thing that's going to

238

00:14:42,364 --> 00:14:46,134

make you the happiest. It's like a conveyor belt. You go through elementary school,

239

00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:50,006

middle school, high school. You're supposed to go to college, even. Though

240

00:14:50,028 --> 00:14:53,866

in the United States it also involves crushing debt. And then

241

00:14:53,888 --> 00:14:56,634

you have to go and. Get a job where you work 40. To 50 hours

242

00:14:56,672 --> 00:15:00,506

a week, hopefully have enough to save for retirement. You work for

243

00:15:00,528 --> 00:15:04,046

40 years, maybe longer, and then you retire, and then you

244

00:15:04,068 --> 00:15:07,630

die. At no point in that story

245

00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:11,422

is there a point where you're supposed to. Stop and ask,

246

00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:14,954

is this actually what I want? Do I actually want the white picket fence?

247

00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:18,066

Do I want to get married? Do I want to have kids? Do I want

248

00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:21,666

to work in corporate 40 to 50 hours a

249

00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:25,522

week? One of the hardest things about knowing this and

250

00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:28,418

going for it is you have to explain to a bunch of other people who've

251

00:15:28,434 --> 00:15:32,246

been sold on that. Story, and they're not going to get it. This

252

00:15:32,268 --> 00:15:35,830

is one of the biggest reasons why you need a community that

253

00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:39,506

understands exactly why you're

254

00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:42,566

making these changes, why you're breaking out of the mold. Because for them, it doesn't

255

00:15:42,598 --> 00:15:46,218

work for them either. I've said this before, and I will say it a million

256

00:15:46,304 --> 00:15:50,058

times more before I die. Building a business takes a

257

00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:53,686

village, and. Not because it takes a lot of people to do all the things

258

00:15:53,728 --> 00:15:57,566

to build the business, but because you need the village around you to

259

00:15:57,588 --> 00:16:01,166

remind you. That you're not crazy, that there's nothing. Wrong with you for

260

00:16:01,188 --> 00:16:04,974

not accepting the status quo that has been sold to. You your whole life,

261

00:16:05,092 --> 00:16:08,546

that it's okay to want something different, and it's okay.

262

00:16:08,728 --> 00:16:12,366

To go after whatever it is that you want in a way that feels

263

00:16:12,398 --> 00:16:16,246

aligned to you. So here's where this conversation kind of becomes the chicken and

264

00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:19,094

the egg. Oh, what am I going to say next? Well, you'll have to keep

265

00:16:19,132 --> 00:16:22,242

listening to find out. But first, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel,

266

00:16:22,306 --> 00:16:23,110

squirrel.

267

00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:31,430

So here's where this conversation kind of becomes the chicken and the egg. So

268

00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,906

if you need to design a. Business that will be

269

00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,994

successful in all. The right ways to support you in the life that you actually

270

00:16:38,032 --> 00:16:41,866

want to. Live that brings you joy, then you. Have to know what it

271

00:16:41,888 --> 00:16:45,450

is that you want, what you want that life to be that brings you joy,

272

00:16:45,530 --> 00:16:49,246

so that you'll have time for things that are fun. But in order to

273

00:16:49,268 --> 00:16:53,006

know what any of those things are, you have to. Start having fun now. You

274

00:16:53,028 --> 00:16:56,640

have to start experiencing Joy for Joy's sake now.

275

00:16:57,170 --> 00:17:00,834

Because who knows? Like, in my ideal life, one of the things

276

00:17:00,872 --> 00:17:03,860

that I cannot wait to have happen

277

00:17:04,870 --> 00:17:08,690

is to have a house that has a beautiful garden

278

00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:12,598

with tables set up, and pretty much every Sunday night to have a

279

00:17:12,604 --> 00:17:16,434

family dinner. And not just family. When I say family, I mean adopted

280

00:17:16,482 --> 00:17:20,166

family, too. I cook something special. Everyone kind of brings

281

00:17:20,198 --> 00:17:23,642

a dish. If they have kids, they can kind of run around and do whatever

282

00:17:23,696 --> 00:17:27,274

they want. But you hang out, you have

283

00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:31,130

that final bit of respite before the week starts,

284

00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:35,338

and you have your community around you. That's

285

00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:38,702

something I really look forward to. And I wouldn't know that that's important to me

286

00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:42,430

if I weren't making time for the joyful act of cooking.

287

00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:46,254

And this is one of the reasons why I'm launching the community, like, hyper

288

00:17:46,302 --> 00:17:50,034

focused. Because for you to be able to identify those things that

289

00:17:50,072 --> 00:17:53,746

you want, you have to have a sense of safety, that

290

00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:56,820

it's okay for you to want those things

291

00:17:57,670 --> 00:18:00,758

and for you to have that sense of safety, that it's okay for you to

292

00:18:00,764 --> 00:18:04,422

want those things. You kind of have to be around other people who are

293

00:18:04,476 --> 00:18:08,226

already going for the things that they want, setting up their own vision

294

00:18:08,258 --> 00:18:11,258

for what their own ideal life looks like, and

295

00:18:11,344 --> 00:18:14,986

unapologetically going for it. There's a saying that

296

00:18:15,088 --> 00:18:18,650

I heard about ten years ago, and it was really painful to hear

297

00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,566

when it first came up. And it has continued to be painful as I've grown

298

00:18:22,598 --> 00:18:26,062

as a human, as I've changed, as I've evolved, as what I want has

299

00:18:26,116 --> 00:18:29,966

evolved. And it's that you are the sum total of the five people you spend

300

00:18:29,988 --> 00:18:33,726

the most time with. Now, the reason this is painful is because sometimes you

301

00:18:33,748 --> 00:18:36,322

look around at the five people you spend the most time with and you love

302

00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:40,146

them and you cherish them. And also, if you want the

303

00:18:40,168 --> 00:18:43,842

things that you want, if you're ever going to get them, you

304

00:18:43,896 --> 00:18:47,746

can't continue spending time with these people, or at least not as much

305

00:18:47,768 --> 00:18:50,886

as you have been. There's a distance that has to be

306

00:18:50,908 --> 00:18:54,726

created, and there's a new group of people out there that you

307

00:18:54,748 --> 00:18:58,380

need to start spending more time with. So I ask you,

308

00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:01,020

what do you do for fun?

309

00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:09,030

What are the things that bring you small moments of joy?

310

00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:12,614

And I challenge you this week to block

311

00:19:12,662 --> 00:19:16,080

off three to 5 hours to doing that thing.

312

00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:20,154

And it can be ridiculous. It could be making a blanket

313

00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:23,326

fort in your living room. It could be dressing up as a wizard and just

314

00:19:23,348 --> 00:19:27,166

going to a coffee shop and sitting there with your

315

00:19:27,188 --> 00:19:30,866

cappuccino and, like, chanting weird things over it. Actually, that sounds like a lot of

316

00:19:30,888 --> 00:19:34,146

fun. And I do have a wizard costume because I was Dumbledore for Halloween one

317

00:19:34,168 --> 00:19:37,606

year. However, the glasses never arrived. And you just can't be

318

00:19:37,628 --> 00:19:41,334

Dumbledore without the half moon glasses, which I

319

00:19:41,372 --> 00:19:45,074

get. He's probably reading old texts with weird, scribbly,

320

00:19:45,122 --> 00:19:48,826

small writing. But doesn't that drive you nuts? Doesn't it just feel like

321

00:19:48,848 --> 00:19:52,566

they're about to fall off your face? I wouldn't know because the glasses never arrived

322

00:19:52,598 --> 00:19:53,900

and I couldn't wear them.

323

00:19:56,990 --> 00:20:00,726

If you're struggling for ideas, here are some different areas you can check

324

00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:04,606

out. Eventbrite, I always forget exists, except when I'm going networking. There

325

00:20:04,628 --> 00:20:08,346

are tickets to goat yoga on Eventbrite. There are like haunted

326

00:20:08,378 --> 00:20:11,162

house tours, there's cooking classes, Airbnb

327

00:20:11,226 --> 00:20:14,482

experiences. That's another venue where you can figure

328

00:20:14,536 --> 00:20:18,226

out local fun things to do that get

329

00:20:18,248 --> 00:20:22,002

you out of your comfort zone. Weirdly, where I am now,

330

00:20:22,056 --> 00:20:25,698

there's a lot to do with like alpacas and llamas, which for a

331

00:20:25,704 --> 00:20:29,454

seaside town seems odd. I didn't realize

332

00:20:29,502 --> 00:20:33,206

we had that many alpacas and llamas here. This fun thing that you go to

333

00:20:33,228 --> 00:20:37,046

do will probably bring you joy. Probably isn't going to be like, oh my

334

00:20:37,068 --> 00:20:39,770

God, this is the thing I want to do for the rest of my life.

335

00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,674

But you're going to continue making time for fun things that

336

00:20:43,712 --> 00:20:46,700

are outside of your norm until you find that thing.

337

00:20:47,390 --> 00:20:51,114

Because again, you cannot strategize and

338

00:20:51,152 --> 00:20:54,398

plan and work on a business that is going to be successful in all the

339

00:20:54,404 --> 00:20:57,962

right ways that supports you in living your ideal

340

00:20:58,026 --> 00:21:01,770

life unless you know what that ideal life includes.

341

00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:05,140

So your work right now is to figure that out

342

00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:09,054

if you take this challenge and you find something that's fun, weird,

343

00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:12,946

wonky, outside your norm to do. I would love it if

344

00:21:12,968 --> 00:21:16,458

you found me on Instagram at Katie

345

00:21:16,654 --> 00:21:20,006

the coach, not Katie the

346

00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:23,606

couch, which a lot of people mistakenly thought I

347

00:21:23,628 --> 00:21:27,446

had. Katie the coach. I would love it if you found me there and sent

348

00:21:27,468 --> 00:21:30,962

me a dm and just tell me about what you did

349

00:21:31,116 --> 00:21:34,646

and if it was fun or not. That's

350

00:21:34,678 --> 00:21:38,518

data that tells you that's not something you want in your ideal life, that tells

351

00:21:38,534 --> 00:21:42,326

you you do not need to structure your business in a way. That lets

352

00:21:42,358 --> 00:21:45,498

you do that thing because. You don't want to do that thing. That's fine. I

353

00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:48,926

don't like being on boats. They make me sick. I'm not going to design my

354

00:21:48,948 --> 00:21:51,694

business around the idea that I want to be on a boat all the time.

355

00:21:51,732 --> 00:21:55,546

And I will personally keep you posted about what brings

356

00:21:55,578 --> 00:21:59,426

me joy and if. Things work out in this writing class, you might be

357

00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:02,798

seeing a fantasy novel for me in the coming years. Who knows?

358

00:22:02,974 --> 00:22:06,094

Wouldn't that be funny to be like, yes, I'm the host of the Weenie cast

359

00:22:06,142 --> 00:22:09,926

and I teach business strategy and I write fantasy novels. For

360

00:22:09,948 --> 00:22:13,640

a young adult, that would be the most adhd life.

361

00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:17,542

It would be so on brand. You see here, I'm already

362

00:22:17,596 --> 00:22:21,366

planning how. This could work for my business. We really can't

363

00:22:21,398 --> 00:22:25,082

help it. If you realize that you need people who are

364

00:22:25,136 --> 00:22:28,938

more supportive of you, branching out, doing fun things,

365

00:22:29,024 --> 00:22:32,810

trial and erroring your whole life to figure out what it is that you want.

366

00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,794

Then I want you to get on the waiting list for the hyper focused

367

00:22:36,842 --> 00:22:40,574

membership. My producer asked me when this is launching and my

368

00:22:40,612 --> 00:22:44,346

answer was when I get my shit together and he was like cool. If I

369

00:22:44,388 --> 00:22:48,110

asked your OBM Heather when this is launching,

370

00:22:48,190 --> 00:22:51,714

what would she answer is the date? And I said she would

371

00:22:51,752 --> 00:22:55,538

answer when Katie gets her shit together. But the community is absolutely

372

00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:59,414

going to be incredible because it's going to be people like you

373

00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:02,120

who want to create a life on their own terms

374

00:23:02,890 --> 00:23:06,646

and have to do so in a different way from

375

00:23:06,668 --> 00:23:10,438

all the neurotypicals. And I'm really excited for it and

376

00:23:10,524 --> 00:23:14,294

I really do need to get my together. And to get on the waiting list

377

00:23:14,332 --> 00:23:17,080

you want to go to weeniecast.com

378

00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:21,230

hyperfocus and you'll find that link in the show notes.

379

00:23:25,410 --> 00:23:28,858

I asked my clients about what she does for fun and she's like, I don't

380

00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:32,666

know. I bought a sign that says life is short, lick the bowl

381

00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:35,886

and it's meant for your kitchen, but I put it in the bathroom. Other than

382

00:23:35,908 --> 00:23:39,642

that, I'm not that fun. Squirrel, squirrel,

383

00:23:39,706 --> 00:23:40,570

squirrel, squirrel.