Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your coach Aurora, i'm there to support

you, if you feel you need a one on one session, you need to pour

your heart out you need somebody to be accountable to, I'm there

for you. And today I'm very happy to be spending some time

with you.

And to talk about a validation, a feeling validated, you express

something, a feeling, or you put it into words.

And the person who's standing in front of you, this sharing the

space with you just listens and hold space.

They let you fully express

how you feel inside,

they listen to your thoughts.

And, yeah, holding space is the big thing here.

And

to do this, it takes a lot of courage because at times,

emotional reactions can be very strong. And you can really

relate to why the person is suffering or feeling pain.

But to remain calm, and to hold that space

is so incredibly

nurturing and healing.

You are trustworthy. When you're able to hold space for the other

person, you create a strong bond with that person.

And the fun thing is that you don't even have to be close to

that person that much you don't have to be in an intimate

relationship or related like blood related can be a stranger.

If you just hear him or her out.

It has such a powerful healing effect on people.

Needless to say that if you master holding space for another

in an intimate relationship,

if you can do that for your siblings, for your parents, for

your children,

you have the key

to a very strong and

content and deep, nourishing relationship.

Now this is the ideal.

And we don't grow up in ideal circumstances.

I don't know about your experience, really. And I would

love I'm burning to know what your experience is or was in the

past. So please never hold back. Connect with me on Facebook,

Aurora Eggert or Aurora Eggert coaching and share with me what

your experiences are around this topic.

We grew up in families where Yeah, people are busy to provide

and have their own little problems or big problems. And

then you come into the picture and

have an emotional reaction to something that nobody really can

relate to.

And they don't know maybe you have been suffering for a long

time. Maybe you've gone through stuff that you didn't really

share with them. And now something happens that you react

to very strongly

and most of the time, yeah, people go through their own

experience when they see somebody else suffering and they

just think okay, well.

This is not how I would have reacted like this is a little

bit dramatic. This is a little bit too much.

This is not how I would have reacted.

So they operate only from their point of view

and make you feel pathetic. And if there is several people

around you in that moment, it's

People make you feel pathetic about how you feel about how you

react, you can very quickly

excuse me,

make the conclusion that you are indeed pathetic. And that you

have to toughen up. And that you feelings, the way you perceive

things and situations are not valid.

Now, let that sit for a moment, if a little kid

b be

be the kid, six years old,

the brain is still forming, the child is still

making up what this world can be like and, you know, soaking

everything up like a little sponge.

That child will learn that his or her feelings are not valid.

Now, what happens next?

Next time, you have these feelings coming up, you suppress

them.

Because they're not valid, right? That's what you've

learned. The reaction that we you will receive from the

outside

is going to be

painful, and people are gonna reject you. So what smart to do

here is to react, how you think the people around you would

react. And then you don't stir anything up. You suppress

everything that is coming up inside of you. You don't let it

out.

And you move on.

Sorry, you move on.

Toughen up.

Fast forward 30 years, almost, she's fine fighting depression,

or he has suicidal thoughts.

Where's that coming from? On must be the video games are must

be the friends that he's hanging out with?

It must be the breakup that she went through a couple months

back? No, no, no, no, no, that's not the case. The case is that

you've learned that your emotions are not valid as

expressing yourself is not

worth the effort.

So suppress. And those feelings are not dissolving. They are

stuck in your system, in your nervous system, in your tissues

of your body.

Sickness is going to arise mental illness is going to arise

when we are not free to express how we feel.

So this episode is meant as a huge kick in the bum to you.

If you ever think of suppressing how you feel, again, I want you

to know that it has severe consequences, to not show or

express yourself when you have strong feelings coming up. Now

don't get me wrong. Sometimes it is aggression. Sometimes it is

violence that come up. And we don't want to use that against

other people. We want to find words, we found want to find a

way to express these feelings in a way that it is authentic, but

also in a way that people can listen. If they really care

about you. And you're not harming anybody or yourself.

Right. Sometimes the feelings are so strong, that we want to

destroy that we want to harm that we want to be violent.

But that is a point where you have to find someone to talk to

and dig deeper. That is not what we want to bring out. That is

not what we want to

express violence, but we want to express it in a way that it is

more digestible for other people. Right.

How validated Do you feel

by the people that you surround yourself with,

to feel like you can be yourself and express yourself and cry

when something is sad for you. Be angry when something is

upsetting for you laugh out loud when something is funny, or have

you learned that it is not okay.

And another thing to mention here is that maybe you've been

surrounded

by people in the past that didn't allow it that punished

you for expressing yourself. And now you are with a new Wolfpack.

But you're still suppressing your feelings. Because this is

what you've learned, then this episode is here for you. And I'm

there for you as a coach to help you and dig these feelings again

and to be more you

to be fearlessly you.

And the people around you, who love you who truly cherish you

will be so Okay, will be so grateful, will be so

appreciative to see what's going on inside of you. Because this

is the beauty of each human being. This is the beauty of

humanity, that we are all so different, that we perceive all

so different, that we have emotions and reactions that are

very different to others. And that is okay.

We need to not only learn to express ourselves more

authentically, but also watch ourselves

how we react to others. Can we hold space for another? When we

feel like Oh man, that's this dramatic. Oh man, this is not

really as sad as this person makes it out to be? Yes, it is.

It is valid. And be curious. Ask questions. And you will see how

it opens up that person and how you can deeply connect to that

person.

I'm gonna let you go for now and I'm very excited to connect with

you and be there for you again on Thursday.

take really good care of yourself. You are so loved. You

are so appreciated. You are so needed on this beautiful planet

Earth and selling my love out to you. Until next time, bye bye