What you are about to hear is an extremely powerful conversation

where I interviewed Jeffrey Allen.

Jeffrey Allen is a popular Mindvalley author and speaker,

a powerful energy healer, and a pioneer in online energy training.

In this episode, we went profoundly deep.

What does it mean to truly shift our own energy?

And we hear this all the time, nothing in your life changes until your energy

shifts, until you change your energy.

In this episode, it'll be revealed how you can do this on a deeply

practical and tangible level.

Grounded spiritual wisdom.

As well we talked about how can we align our energy.

To connect with our higher calling in life to draw in our dream partner,

our divine counterpart in this life.

Welcome to the Masculine and Feminine Dynamics podcast.

My name is Loren Kren and I'm a coach, author, and hypnotherapist.

I help you to understand masculine and feminine dynamics.

Let's dive in.

Jeffrey, it's amazing to have you on the show because the word energy

or shift your energy, I believe it's the most important word and the most

important thing we can ever work with.

At the same time, it is not something that a lot of people

intentionally work with.

And when I listen to your work, when I listen to you share, when you listen

to how you speak about energy and the embodiment behind the depth and

teachings you bring to the world, I can feel that it is more than

just words, but it is a real lived experience being embodied through you.

Oh, thanks Lorin.

Yeah, that, that's great.

And that's, uh, I really love what you said there because I think that

energy work itself is powerful.

But, you know, how do we make it real to everybody?

How do you make it something that is tangible?

You're having a real experience rather than just a, you know, kind of

intellectual thing that's in our head.

In your journey, you went from software engineer to energy healer.

What was the inner shift that changed everything for you here?

Yeah.

Actually it's, it's funny because software engineering and

energy work are actually more similar than they are different.

You know, because you're, you're dealing with the

intangible things with software.

So I was very used to, uh, the software word, what, if you want something,

you just declare that you have it.

If you wanna change things, you just change things.

It's very fluid, very easy.

It's very, uh, infinite if you will.

And so energy work is the same way.

You know, both of them were very different from the physical world

where, you know, I was, um, building a house at one point and I, I just

kept getting frustrated by, you know, I'd run outta nails, I'd have

to have to go to Home Depot or, you know, we'd, something got cut wrong.

We'd another board.

And my friend was laughing at me.

He said, well, you're just, that's because you're a software engineer.

You're used to everything.

You know, you can just declare it and it's there instantly.

And energy works the same way.

So it's, it's just like software.

Yeah.

So what was the shift there?

Yeah, for me, it, I was actually doing both of them at the same

time for quite a number of years.

Uh, almost all the time that I was writing software, a 15 year career

there, I was also studying energy work, practicing energy work.

It kind of had these tool two lives.

But what switched for me is that at some point when I, I was tuning in, I was

meditating every day, and I was, once I got through asking sort of the, um,

the selfish questions, you know, for my guides, like, oh, is does that person

like me or is this gonna go my way?

You know, the first things we do when we first tune in with our

intuition, and when I started getting deeper, I asked this question at one

point, I said, uh, why am I here?

And this really clear, deep answer came in and said,

you're here to be of service.

And it kind of shocked me.

I was like, I was kind of embarrassed.

I was like, oh, I'd never considered that before.

I thought service was something I got at a restaurant or at a

gas station or a hotel, but I never, it never occurred to me.

I like, I'm here to be of service.

And like I said, I was a little embarrassed that I'd

never even thought of that.

It was just kind of, you know, how I grew up in the US and um, that's

what really started to shift things.

I'm like, okay, what am I doing something now that's being of service?

And the answer was, no, I'm not.

So I was like, okay, it's, I, I don't know how it's gonna happen,

but I'm gonna, I'm gonna shift, I'm gonna pivot so that my, my hobby

of energy work and energy healing is gonna become the main thing.

And then my main thing, which is software is gonna become a hobby.

And like how am I gonna pivot that and make that happen?

you.

You said something very specific that when you met your wife,

everything shifted for you.

Yeah.

For, Hisami, I met her, I was, it was a little bit after I'd switched careers,

I'd been, you know, I was teaching and uh, on the road traveling and so on.

And it was just through coincidence, through a friend of a friend

connect me and said, oh, if you're gonna be in Tokyo, you should

look up my Friend hisami and think, you guys really get along.

And I didn't think too much of it, but there was some, some kind

of energy connection even from the beginning where, you know,

that particular business card.

Just somehow I kept, I knew I, I need to hang onto this.

I need to keep it on top of the pile.

And, uh, when all the teaching was done, I, I called the number on the card, it

was actually Hisami's friend, we were gonna go to lunch and she said, oh, and

I, I wanna bring along my friend Hisami.

And as soon as she said Hisami's name, I just, you just, whew, the

energy just like flooded through and I could just feel this huge connection.

I was like, yes, bring her.

And I never, I never met her, I'd never seen a picture of her.

I'd never talked to her.

Um, all I did is hear her name spoken by her friend, and like,

uh, right away I was in love.

And before, before we even met going to that lunch, outside the restaurant

I'm waiting for, and my, my guided guidance, my guides were talking to

me and just telling me and showing me all the potential that we had,

of this beautiful life together.

And I'm thinking, I haven't even met her yet.

Like we're, you know, let's meet her first.

And, and of course she came up the escalator and I, I saw her

and I was like, wow, ed, you know, better than I could ever imagine.

You know, if I, if I made a list of all the things I wanted in a, in a wife

and partner, uh, I wouldn't even have known to put these things on the list.

You know, she's, uh, I, I, I couldn't, I couldn't dream big

enough to create this relationship.

Yeah, tru truly had to come from, for me, just, uh, surrendering

and asking the universe for help.

You know, that's about, about a year before I'd actually

kind of told the university.

I said, Hey, I need some help.

If I knew how to create the relationship in my dreams,

I would've done it already.

So clearly I don't know how to do that.

But probably you do.

So you know, help.

Yeah, worked out.

Worked out really well.

We just had our 15th, 15 year anniversary,

Congratulations and Jeffrey, when you share that, it moves me deeply

because it brings me back to the moment when I met my wife and not

long after we've met and I knew in my heart that I will commit myself in

eternity to her, when I was walking through the streets of Vienna, where

we met in Vienna, where I originally grew up, and I was walking through

the streets, the snow was falling and everything started to turn slow

motion, and I could feel this energy, I could feel this depth in that moment.

And there was this voice that said, I didn't see a visuals, but there was

this feeling and there was this voice.

And the voice said to me, whatever you do, do it with her.

Wherever you go, go with her.

Yeah, it's really wonderful.

It's also, um, it's, it's harder than it sounds to like to commit

in that way, to trust, to lean in.

You know, when, um, when I met Hisami, that, you know, energetically was as

if, um, it's like, like, uh, in Tokyo there's just a lot of, uh, speed trains.

They call 'em quiet trains here at Shingen, but in the west

it's called a bullet train.

But the same thing.

But, so the, the trains basically stopped for one minute.

The door opens, the door is closed, and then it leaves.

And that's the, the feeling I had with this relationship.

I'm like, I didn't know it was coming, but the train is here and I have a

minute to decide and what am I gonna do?

I also know that I'm not quite ready.

Like I I, if I knew.

This was coming, I, I think I would've prepared better.

I'd be more grown up in some way.

I'd be more ready.

But, it doesn't matter this, the train's here now, get on or don't get on.

And so of course I jumped on and that's my personality

and pH the train took off.

And, uh, it's, uh, no regrets.

Best, best choice I ever made.

But it's, it's scary, you know, for those both, you know, you're, when you

find that if you're listening to this and you find that kind of relationship,

it's sometimes it's hard to believe and trust and, and really just lean in.

You know, the, the mind wants to come up with all the reasons.

Like, for me, it was, it was easy.

My mind was like, um, she doesn't speak English.

I don't speak Japanese.

I don't understand how that's gonna work.

But my heart's saying this is the one.

So I'm like, all right, this, if this is the one that's, that's a big

detail, but I guess we'll sort it out.

And I think it also really connects with the work that you're teaching right

now because you connected with her so deeply, energetically, that even though

there was a language barrier, you, there was something deeper communicating.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would say, uh, you know, our first date, not, not the

lunch date, uh, but the first date was just the two of us.

was in Yokohama.

We were out in a park and you know, all, all I could say was

Konnichiwa, Jeffrey Allen des, and she could say, hi, I'm Hisami.

And that, that was, that was all we had for words, but we had

the whole day together, right?

And if, if you really want to, if you really excited about connecting

with somebody and you really want to get to know them and you

don't talk, magic happens, right?

So we're just, we're sitting in the park, we're looking

at each other's eyes.

Sometimes one of us will talk and then we're both laughing because we know

that, you know, we we're not actually communicating or, um, she would say

something and I'd say something funny and, you know, like, oh, I'm really

glad you said that, you know, and, um, but mostly it was just humor.

It was love, it was like just a desire to connect and, and playfulness.

And, uh, and of course we were, you know, we both do energy

work so we could, we could run a little energy with each other and

kind of feel the energy moving.

And so for, you know, for the two of us, it was probably less

odd maybe than for other people.

'Cause energy work is second language for both of us.

You know, and the love is there.

So that's a, it's a second language, maybe a first language.

Um, but it, it was magical.

I would recommend it for anybody.

That's the best first date I ever had.

Was, uh, without words,

There is a saying that goes, when we shift our energy, everything changes.

It's not just a saying I believe in, it's a saying, I know is true.

And I'm sure you'd, I'm sure you will agree with it.

And you, you specifically say in your work that when we talk about

energy to someone who didn't have an experience, where their energy shifted

in such a powerful way that the outer world started to shift in really

magnificent ways and profound ways.

Why is it that some people can understand this all on a conceptual

level, but their energy doesn't really shift so their life doesn't shift?

Yeah, that's a great question.

So Hisami and I have talked about this quite a bit because

we have a program together.

You know, that's, it's actually half Japanese, half English.

We're still, neither of us are fully bilingual.

Uh, but we're, we're getting there and, and we, we see that a lot.

So it's the train's called Spirit Mind.

It's, it's very deep.

It's how to be in this authentic space of spirit to really

be prioritizing and living.

From that space of love and, and, and deep connection with the universe.

And we all have our, our mind, what we call it, the material mind, that's also

talking to us and thinking and filling us in on, um, all of our thoughts

and beliefs and details and so on.

But to, to let that part quiet down tends to be very hard if it's

something that's been active within us.

So for me in particular, like my, um, that analytical

mind is very strong in me.

And so it's, you know, it's, it's easy to believe that I've shifted and

that I'm acting from spirit, where in fact, energetically I've just sort

of, you know, I'm pretending like my, my, uh, analytical mind or my belief

system, and this is what we've seen in other people too, it can create

a space where it's like, oh, now I've moved in and like I'm over now,

I'm, now I'm being very spiritual,

I would say that that's, that's the reason to your question, like,

why do people feel like, you know, they, they understand it completely,

but they're not embodying it and they're not changing the energy?

Is because it's, you know, they're still in the analyzer, still in

the analytical mind, and that's, that can be fun and and rewarding,

but it doesn't really have much to do with shifting the energy.

Now the, the analogy I like to use is kind of a, kind of fun is if you're,

if you wanna become a basketball player, then you don't need to read

about basketball or watch basketball movies or learn the theory of,

basketballs and, and the game and everything, that all might help.

But if you did none of that and you just practiced all the time

because you love the game, you are gonna get better, you know?

And people that are naturally skilled and, and, and excited,

like practice more and get better and better and better.

And the same thing is true with energy work, with spirituality.

It's not something you have to really learn.

It's something that's within you that comes naturally

when you're reaching for it.

Specifically what you said here at the end, you said the following words,

I wanna read them for the listeners.

If you are not feeling good, you are not feeling you because your

energy always feels good to you.

it's true.

When I look at, uh, you know, from my own experience, like if I think,

think recently, you know, at times when I've, I've felt stressed, when

I'm able to calm down and sort of find my center again, I realize

that, uh, the, the suffering that I'm having, the stress that I'm going

through, uh, is only there because I'm not centered within myself.

I'm.

Obsessing about some problem, or I'm imagining some future that's not here,

or I'm reliving something, you know, from the past that happened, that I'm

not really experiencing my energy in the moment and that's why I don't feel good.

And it it, the funny part is like, even if I'm having experience, like

that experience, if I'm, if I'm not happy and I realize that I actually

feel good in that moment, like.

I just realized even though my situation isn't good and it's

stressful, the fact that I noticed it and that I realized, ah, that's

because I'm, you know, my attention's all out here, and instead within,

all of a sudden I feel good again.

I feel love.

I feel myself.

And my situation didn't change at all.

All that changed was my perception.

I just changed from.

Uh, being out here in all, all this world and suddenly like being aware and

like, oh, now, now I'm feeling my energy moving through me, and I, I feel good..

There is almost like a sense when our energy is going outwards and it's, it's,

it's not, we're not feeling our energy here, we start to get out of alignment.

We feel like we're, we're losing ourselves.

We're starting to disconnect.

So is this an ongoing practice that you would recommend to listeners to bring

their energy back here or to focus on the, the energetic field of the body?

Yeah.

And it doesn't have to be a separate practice.

You know, sometimes we, we think, oh, I've gotta set aside five minutes, or

10 minutes or an hour to meditate, or I have to do yoga at a certain time.

But I think it's way more powerful and accessible to just do it in

the moments when you need it.

So I, I can be having a conversation with you right now, and I can still

notice the chair that I'm sitting on.

I can still like, you know, feel, feel my own hands, or I can feel

my, my hands sitting on my leg.

And when I do that, all of a sudden, like, you know, I'm,

I'm back in more, I'm present.

I'm, I'm here.

I'm not just up here telling stories or talking, but I'm actually

like in the body in the moment.

So it's, it, it can be just a, just a moment, just a breath.

I like that because it's, it's when, when we make it a big thing.

It becomes much harder to access it.

And when it becomes something that is just in the moment when we need it, it

becomes almost a way of living, a way of breathing, a way of becoming the

work rather than thinking about it or me turning into something over complicated.

Something I wanted to ask you here, Jeffrey, is people often

experience powerful energetic shifts, or at least those who

are in the journey of awakening.

But these shifts are often short lived.

And I'm sure you get that a lot from your clients or people when they first

start working with you to say, okay, I experienced this powerful shift, but

then a few weeks later, I forgot about all of that and my nervous system, my

body, I went back into the old reality.

Yeah.

Part of it, it's really related to what, what we're talking about here, that

if your, if your attention is outside, uh, you can have a powerful shift based

on the people around you, based on the experience, based on the workshop

that you go to, and it's very common.

I remember that when I was first taking many spiritual workshops, I would, I'd

go to the workshop, I'd feel fantastic.

And, you know, at the end it's like, oh, this is this

new beautiful, amazing space.

And then I'd go back home and sort of within a few days, dun, dun, dun.

And I sort of like adjusted back to my normal mode.

And, uh, it was actually one of my teachers, Jim Self, that had kind of

put the question to me at one point to the group, he said, you know, how

many of you have, have had that happen?

And everybody raised their hand and he said, are you

willing to let it happen again?

Because right now you're all in that space.

You're, you're in that beautiful resonance.

You're tuned in.

Are you gonna go home and just go back to your old ways?

Because that's what you've been doing up until now, right?

Every time?

So do you wanna change it?

And we're, of course, we're all like, it's kind of like a shock.

It's like, ooh, truth, right?

And, and basically the change was just to start making it part of daily life.

You know, spirituality isn't something outside, it's not something extra.

It's not something you do once a week, uh, you know, in a particular

building that you go to or a particular group that you meet with.

It's just something that's ongoing all the time, uh,

and accessible all the time.

And once you kind of make that shift and make it something internal

rather than something external, uh, that's when you're able to hold

onto those shifts a lot longer.

Something I like to say is, is that our highest priority or our highest

desire needs to be the desire to evolve.

That desire needs to be at the forefront.

And it's quite interesting because when I work with people, and I'm sure you

see this a lot as well, people might sometimes say, or an analytical mind

will say, I want to awaken, I want to be free, I want to feel peace, I want my

heart to be open, I want to be present.

But then other priorities and other desires come to the forefront and

actually still quite strong within them.

How would you describe, in your own words, the, the desire for evolution?

Is this something that has to be at the forefront?

Is this something we have to choose deeply from within?

Probably yes and no, both.

So there's kind of a, an analytical perspective on spirituality that, you

know, we, we run into kind of first when we start studying or learning things.

One of the keyword there is we, we think that we're gonna

learn about spirituality.

But that's one thing that my wife, Hisami said so many times, she says,

I, I'm not actually teaching anything.

You know, in her words, she's not teaching anything.

She says, I'm just helping you remember, right?

So spirituality isn't something that you have to learn.

It's, it's part of who you are.

You're just remembering who you are.

And so this, you don't have to go outside to remember who you are.

But when you're, you know, when we're learning, it's very normal to kind of

fall into the same kind of patterns energetically that we would see

with, with physical things, right?

So I think it's, um, there's gotta be effort involved, there's

gotta be a goal involved, there's gotta be, uh, something that I'm

reaching for that I don't have.

Even the, just the whole concept of people asking, oh, what's,

what is my purpose in life?

Or, uh, am I on my path?

And I think all those questions are more likely or at least as likely

to create confusion or stress.

You know, just the concept that, uh, you are here, you have a desire to,

uh, to grow and to learn, but there's some secret purpose that you have that

you're here to do and you don't know what it is, you don't know what it is.

But if you don't do it, you're gonna, you're gonna feel like a big

failure in this lifetime, and, and you've gotta somehow discover it,

but nobody can tell you what it is.

And it's like, this, this is obviously a setup for failure and

it's, it's just not true, right?

You just, you don't need any of that.

Like that you don't, it's okay.

Like if, if you feel driven and you feel motivated naturally to go do

something, or even if you, you think of something and you get excited and

you wanna go do it, wonderful, right?

But don't think that there's some secret purpose you've gotta discover

that you don't know, because that's just gonna make you crazy, right?

That's just gonna, that's gonna make your mind, uh, it's gonna

just bring up fear and anxiety and, uh, that's not the purpose.

The purest purpose is not fear and anxiety.

So it just kind of, you know, that ability to kind of chuckle at

ourselves when our mind gets, uh, over involved in the process of

remembering who we are, and to just kind of just say, oh, that's great.

I love, I love all that thinking.

I love my beautiful analytical mind, but it, it doesn't have

the answers that I'm looking for.

All, all it, all it can do is talk about the, the physical world of material.

What it, it doesn't have any information about spirituality.

Um, so once you realize that, you're like, oh, good, I, I can stop, I

can stop looking in that book 'cause there, that's a technical manual.

It doesn't have anything about, you know, it's the, it's the wrong book.

The book I wanna look in here is, uh, just kind of remember who I am.

Open my heart, start tuning in and let, letting things be, you

know, easy, you know, come from that space of, of curiosity

rather than, uh, stress or worry.

When it comes to working with our energy in relationship, how can

people work with, their energy or the energy in a relationship to create

deeper connection, cultivate more presence, to experience deeper intimacy?

I'd say that probably the deepest thing is like being authentic.

Not, not necessarily just with your partner, but I'm talking about more

authentic with yourself, right?

So I have to be able, be able to be honest with myself about not just the

things that I'm excited about, the traits that I'm, you know, that I wanna

share with everybody, but noticing, oh, where are the places where I'm in pain,

or I get angry or I get frustrated?

Where are the places where, uh, I'm getting stuck?

And being able to look at those things from a space of love, not judging

myself saying, ah, that's, I'm, I'm a bad person because of that.

Or, you know, it's, it's totally fine if I say, ah, I'm experiencing this again?

I can't believe it.

And then take a breath and say, ah, but it used to be worse.

I used to feel this more often.

I'm, I'm making progress.

I'm like, like year by year, day by day, I'm feeling more and

more centered in spirit mind.

And that's, you know, being aware of that progress without feeling

like there's a destination I have to get to before I'm a good person.

But being able to say, oh, I'm, I'm a human being and

human beings have emotions.

You know this, we call it the analytical mind, but it's also

where all the emotions are, right?

So there's just all this energy and emotion moving.

That's okay.

Being able to see that with love rather than judging myself or

feeling like I'm, feeling like there's something wrong with me.

Even if I'm doing things that I would prefer I wasn't doing, it,

doesn't mean that I'm broken or that something's wrong with me.

Just means that I'm, I'm still growing and learning.

I'm still alive.

And to be honest, that's gonna continue for, all of our life.

Like the only way you get out of the cycle to where you're, you're no longer

learning and growing is to not be here anymore in the, in a body like this.

And so, so it's not, it's not actually a good goal to, to like

get to the, get to the top right?

Like, it, it's okay.

The goal is to like, enjoy the process, to be, you know, to find

love, even in the hard moments.

So, so I, for me, that's what I find to be the, the most powerful tool is

just look at myself, uh, love myself, notice where I'm not loving myself.

And at least love the fact that I'm looking at it, you know,

like find some place to, to bring joy and love into that.

And it's remarkable, even the, the most challenging emotions that I'm feeling,

uh, even, even if they hold on for quite some time can shift suddenly.

And then they're gone and it's like, ah, I just, somehow I

found my way back to love.

Finding your way back to love, so we can even say the moment there

is any disconnect or challenge within the relationship, the path

is finding our way back to love.

You said before that when you met your wife.

If you would've known that you would meet her, you would've

prepared yourself better.

I connect very much with that as well.

And it also kind of, it, it ties into what you've just shared as well around

this idea that many people have that they need to do X, Y, Z in order to

be ready, which again, is a way of trying to control or, um, this how

the spiritual journey or how, how the journey of life, um, will unfold.

And it's I'd say the universe decides when we are ready.

And even if we don't feel ready in that moment, like you said, when we can hold

space for the energy of that, the energy of whatever, I'm not ready, but the

universe says, you are so somehow I'm going to become ready or I already am.

There is so much power in holding, holding that experience.

Yeah, you're right on.

That's, uh, even when I say that, that, you know, that was my experience,

this sense of, oh, I'm, I'm not ready.

This is, this is perfect and beautiful and wonderful and I don't feel quite

prepared for something this amazing.

But, even as I say that, I, I recognize what what you're saying there, that

of course, I'm ready, otherwise, the opportunity wouldn't have shown up.

You know, this, this is the perfect moment.

Opportunities come to us.

Right.

You know, right.

When they're fruitful, right?

When we can jump in.

And, um, you know, if even if you pass them up, different

opportunities will come.

So it's, it's okay to to choose to say, uh, I see an opportunity,

but even though it's a great opportunity, I'm gonna, I'm gonna

say no to that one, 'cause that, that's what I'm feeling right now.

That totally okay.

Right?

So I want people to know that.

And, uh, but when you see something that's big and you know it's a yes,

even though it's scary, those are the scariest ones, I encourage you to, to

step in and don't listen to the part of your mind that's gonna give you

all the reasons why you can't do it.

And just, uh, just lean in anyway because it's.

It's worth it.

It's the, uh, that's where the joy, the, the fun, uh, the growth, you know,

all that, all that comes from, because there isn't really anything I could

have done to prepare myself, even though I recognize that I'm not quite ready.

But, uh, that's why the opportunity showed up so I could, I could

learn and grow and, and become, you know, become more, become more me.

You touched already upon the, the topic of the higher calling, our deeper

purpose and the kind of trap that people can fall into, that there is some secret

purpose out there that they're not yet connected to, and, and the friction and

tension and stress that this can cause.

When it comes to, aligning our energy to connect more deeply with

our higher calling, when a person comes to you and says, well, I know

there is a higher calling inside me, but I, I really don't know how to

connect with it, what's the next step?

Yeah, probably, uh, I would say that person one, that you're, you're

overcomplicating it, you know, you're thinking a little bit too

much and just, just let that go.

Just listen.

Like, you don't have to think about that.

You don't have to manifest every step of your life.

Like manifesting is fun.

It's great to have that skill.

It's, it's nice, it's validating to know that you're having a conversation

with the universe manifesting things, but it's really slow if you think

you're gonna have to manifest every single thing, that's the really

slow, you know, difficult road.

It's much better to just say, uh, I'm just listening and trusting the

universe to bring me the experiences and opportunities that I need.

And my job is to just flow into the ones that feel good, right?

Like it's, it's like, it's like a buffet.

You go to the buffet.

Uh, we were at this hotel a couple nights ago, this beautiful buffet.

There's all this opportunity for things there, but I didn't feel like I needed

to gorge myself on every single item.

That, you know, this is how life is.

You like, when opportunity comes, it's okay to say,

yeah, there's an opportunity.

Like, I actually, I like pizza that looks like good pizza, but I'm not

doing that right now because I'm, you know, I'm feeling a little congested.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna pass.

I'm gonna go for the sushi over here 'cause that's more what I'm

feeling in this moment that I want.

Tomorrow maybe I'll want something else.

Maybe I want the pizza.

That's totally okay too.

But it's, uh, you know, it's really just about listening rather than writing.

You know, we, we think that, um, you know, we wanna author

our story every step of the way.

And in some sense we did, you know, before we were born we did write

down, you know, a life's purpose, you know, all the things we're planning.

But the key thing to remember is that we wrote it and we wrote it in pencil.

So it's okay to, you know, it's okay at any point to edit.

No problem.

Nobody's gonna get upset.

There's no higher power.

That's gonna be disappointed that we didn't do what some plan that

they made for us, because we're the ones that made the plan, you know?

And, and knowing that new opportunities would come, it's okay

to go with those and, uh, it's.

You know, I think it's much more accurate to say, even if you're,

even if I'm deeply committed to a purpose in the moment, five years

later, 10 years later, I may not feel that same deep commitment.

I may feel like, oh, I've, I've done enough down that path, and

something new is getting my attention.

I wanna lean into this over here.

You said something that I really want to unpack here.

You said manifestation is 99% living and 1% manifestation.

Yeah.

What I was getting at in that one is most people are kind of thinking the

other way, thinking that the more I'm manifesting, the happier I'll be.

You know, I wanna, I wanna drive the car, I wanna make everything happen.

All my dreams happen.

And, um, in my experience that isn't true.

I've, I've done that.

I'm, I'm, I've gotten very good at manifesting.

But what I've found over the years is I don't need to

go to that level of detail.

It's much more fun for me to have a little surprise in my life.

It's much more exciting to just be curious about what's coming.

And then to think on a, on a bigger level, like what am I trying to do here?

Enjoy my life.

Uh, I'm trying to release some of the old patterns that I, that

are challenging for me to get out of, that come up year after year.

And I, I want to change those and explore new roads.

I wanna, I wanna grow, you know, I like thinking on this, this

very abstract level for me is a, is a fun place to, to manifest.

You know, if I'm thinking on that level and then all the details

that come in, I don't really care.

I, I'd be happy with many different solutions to those ideas.

But if I'm specifying a particular one, it's gotta happen is, you

know, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Uh, that's just, that's just 10 opportunities to be disappointed

when there, there's probably, you know, millions of solutions there

that I would be super excited about.

And, you know, the adventure adventurer in me likes the surprise.

That's part of the, the fun in life.

it's kind of funny, some of the biggest things I've manifested were like kind of

whole lifestyles there was, there was a time where when I was young and I just

kind of believed, but you know, we call it the American Dream in the US 'cause

you know, very America centric, but it's really, you know, pretty universal.

It's just this, this idea and it's like, oh, I, I have to, you know,

get a college degree, I'm gonna get a job, I'm gonna buy a house, I'm gonna

get married, I'm gonna have a child.

I did all that.

I even, we even had a little white picket fence around the, the house.

You know, basically I just created this textbook dream,

this American dream, and.

Once it was created, when I, I finished manifesting all that, at

some point I woke up and realized this doesn't have anything to do with me.

I created a whole beautiful life, but it's not my life.

It's not what I'm being called to do.

And so then that, that one unraveled, and then I, I grabbed another dream.

Oh, I'm gonna be the successful single software engineer and rock climber

and, and, uh, you know, and so I, I, and that all, you know, about seven

years later, the same thing happened, I'm like, oh, good job creating that.

Good job manifesting that.

But this also doesn't really have anything to do with me.

So then, you know, I looked at the, I looked around, I was

like, well, who should I be?

Oh, I should be like my teacher, this amazing, wonderful

spiritual teacher I admire.

So then I went down that path and started becoming that.

And even that, at some point I was like.

Okay, so this actually isn't quite me either.

So it's been my experience.

Every time I go for something and manifest when I get to the finish

line, I realize, okay, I'm, I'm, I'm taking a really long, windy road

because I'm, I'm forgetting to put the important things in, which is I

just wanna remember who I am, I just wanna live my life gracefully, love

myself, even though I'm not perfect.

I wanna relate to people, even though it's challenging sometimes, I wanna,

I wanna enjoy all that life has to offer, not just, you know, uh,

fulfilled this checklist that I had.

But it's funny to me how many times I've, I've really manifested

until I was living the life of my dreams, or I thought I was, and

then realized, oh, not my dream.

It's, it's one of the key things, if you're, you know, if you're.

Manifesting stuff right now.

I'd encourage people, you know, just think about that,

you know, follow your dreams.

And so first just ask yourself, oh, is this, is this actually

a dream or is it a goal?

That I, is it something I think I should do?

Or is it something I feel like I want to do, I'm, I'm called

to do, I'm excited about?

So that's the first one.

And then second one is, we're kind of going backwards.

Is, is your, is it, whose dream is it?

Is it your dream?

Is it a dream that your family had for you?

You know, your parents love you and they had this dream for you to

be a successful business person.

Is that, is it even your dream or is it your partner's dream

or something you saw on TV?

And then the, then the, the third word to look at is that first

one actually, which is follow.

Are you, are you following that dream?

Are you listening to the universe and just following

the path as it guides you?

Or are you trying to lead?

Are you saying, I'm in charge, I'm gonna make this dream happen.

Here's step, here's my 10 step plan.

You know?

'cause E, each of those follow your dream.

Most of us miss on every single point.

You know, we, we chase somebody else's expectations, right?

So you're like, no, that's not it.

It was supposed to be following your dream, not chase somebody

else's expectations for you.

You know?

Um, and I'm laughing because it's, you know.

it's better than crying about it, you know, but it's,

I've been through that so many times.

It's like, I really want people to understand that it

doesn't have to be that hard.

Like, you, you know, the things that you, like, you don't have to become

somebody else or be like somebody else.

Uh, in fact, the, that idea of admiring somebody wanting to be like them, I

always say probably what you admire about the other person is that they're

being themselves, that they're just loving themselves and being themselves.

That's what you love about them.

So if you try to be them by default, you're not being like them, you have

to just be you, and that's when you're gonna feel like, oh, I'm authentic.

I'm enjoying myself.

I'm okay with whatever I save.

And if it's.

Sounds silly to some people because I'm just being me.

What it reminds me of the, the kind of image I have in mind when you're

sharing this is, I, I often speak about the importance of being in integrity.

I see spirituality as living with integrity and everything else is

more a construct around spirituality.

But what it reminds me of is it's like when doing the right thing is

hard and perhaps even confronting to a certain degree, but we still feel that

alignment and we know we've done what is in highest good for our truth for

everyone else, it's kind of that, it reminds me of that because even though

it's hard, even though it might even cause a really challenging emotional and

energetic experience, at the same time, there is this inner alignment with our

highest truth, with our higher self or whatever, a name we want to use for it.

And that that's something that cannot be faked because, using another

example, let's say someone becomes very successful by faking it, but

at the same time, deep inside them, that energy of faking it and not

being in integrity with who they truly are, that will always persist.

It will always be there, and that prison will always be there at the same time.

Also what I'm thinking about here is.

Some people might become very successful from an energy of unworthiness, but

at the end of the day, no matter how much success there is, everything

has unworthiness written on it because that pattern, that energy

is still there at the core of it.

I'm naturally very driven, ambitious, I've got this warrior

spirit energy, and the way I, the way I connect to manifestation is

put all my soul into something.

And some people call it hard work, I call it passionate work, but then

relax so deeply and let it all go.

Let everything go and surrender at such a profound level.

And I notice that a lot of people specifically wanna work with clients

who are very successful, they're afraid of surrendering and letting it all go.

And of course, what they're really afraid of letting go

is, is that identity, right?

That that also you talked about that, that identity of the dream

of the parents, the dream of the partner or whatever generational

trauma they're experiencing.

How do we let go of our false identity in that process?

I'd say the answer is like, just bit by bit, you know, you just

do it a little bit at a time.

Uh, because, you know, this process of remembering your true

self is, it's, it's this journey.

It, it just, it just takes time and, and it's, and it's really

important to, uh, make sure that you're doing it in your way.

Like you said, Lorin, like for you this warrior spirit.

Just going for it.

,Just putting all your heart and mind into it and then being able

to let go, that's your rhythm.

You know, you've found, you've found what works for you.

But that doesn't mean everybody has to follow your rhythm.

Everybody has to follow my rhythm.

Like, everybody's gotta find like, what's the rhythm that, that suits them.

It's funny because as you were talking, I actually remembered this guy that

I worked with back in the software days, and he was, he was older than me.

I was probably my early thirties.

But I remember, I was just surprised.

I'm like, I don't understand his motivation, 'cause he just, he

comes to work exactly at nine.

He goes, you know, home exactly at five.

He's just steady.

He does his work, but he's never here after.

He's never, he's not like going for it, like trying to get a

promotion, a raise, whatever.

And it just, it was so strange to me because I was the opposite.

I was always going for it, you know, as I was, I was there early, in late.

Uh, if somebody gave me a project, I did three projects, you know, it just

like, that was just part of who I am.

I know.

It just that adrenaline junkie part of me, you know,

loved, loved living like that.

And, um, and it wasn't until years later that I looked back

and I re I remembered him, I was like, oh, I'm starting to get it.

He was, he was really enjoying all those moments.

He didn't need to move fast.

And he was enjoying his family immensely.

And I even asked my boss at one point, 'cause she was, comparing the two of us.

And she said, well, there's things I love about both of you.

If something's on fire, I'm gonna call you because I know you're gonna

jump into the fire and, and solve it.

You know, because that's your nature.

But if I want something that, if I want a project that's somebody that's

reliable and is just gonna get something done without creating drama, I'm

probably not gonna pick you, I'm gonna pick him, because, you know, that's, she

says both of these are, are completely different, but both very beautiful.

And it's.

I bring it up because it's important.

Most of the, most of the people that we see that are, you know, getting

their voice out there are motivated, uh, more than average, right?

Most people that are influencing or they're, you know, wanting

to be on camera, wanting to talk to people, these, these

are not normal people, right?

These are people with, with sort of an elevated, uh, level

of drive and excitement and enthusiasm for this kind of work.

But, you know, don't, don't aspire to be that.

Aspire to be you and find what your rhythm is.

And, uh, and admire, admire everybody, uh, for their rhythm too.

I, I love what you're saying there.

Admire, respect, and honor other people's rhythm, because I didn't,

this is a pattern I am working through.

I've got this immense drive.

And of course there can be this, this idea that others or the team,

this can, can become projected onto the team, onto others.

Everything has to be fire full on high level precision.

And then I noticed, wow.

I'm causing stress, not just for myself, but I'm causing stress for others around

me because I'm expecting them to tap into my rhythm that feels aligned.

And of course there are always areas to work through, so, so I love what

you're saying here, to honor other people's rhythm and to find our own.

Thank you so much, Jeffrey.

Where can people find your powerful work and is there anything specific,

um, that you would like to mention?

Sure, yeah, thanks.

Yeah, so I would say, uh, to find me, you can go to my website, so

my website's iamjeffreyallen.com.

And if, if you're interested in developing energy work and

specifically working with that, uh, you can also find me on Mindvalley.

So my programs are, are through Mindvalley for energy work.

Uh, my, my all my latest stuff is actually with my wife, hisami.

Once I met her.

And um, it is funny that you were just talking about it, like she and

I are opposite in this way, like I'm the, the person that's going out

and going for the adrenaline junkie.

And she is, she is the Buddha, you know?

And then I met her and I thought, oh, I'm just, I'm just gung-ho chasing

after spirituality in that every way I know how, taking every class I can,

just like learning it, teaching it.

I'm just traveling around and it's just, I'm, I'm loving it.

And then I met her and I noticed right away, oh, Hisami, has.

Like naturally within her, the things that I was hoping that I would get

to if I ran fast enough and hard enough in enough directions, right?

And, and then I, and I asked her, you know, what are, you

know, who's your teachers?

What process are you doing?

You know, how often do you meditate?

And, you know, of course this is all through translation and stuff.

And then she's, she said, um, I, I don't have any teachers.

I, I never meditated.

And I don't, I haven't read any books or I don't follow any particular religion.

I was like, oh, wow.

And I was like, okay.

So somebody with a completely different rhythm of me.

And I realized, okay, it's not that what I'm doing is wrong,

like there's many paths, right?

We have to each be on our own path.

But I realized all the things that I thought were necessary aren't

necessary because she's doing, she's getting there without them.

So I'm like, oh wow, this, this is an opportunity for me to learn from her

and to maybe optimize a little bit.

Maybe I don't have to run, uh, 10 kilometers when I can just

like take one step, right?

Even though it's in my nature and I like to run.

So if that kind of conversation intrigues you, then I would say

go to spiritmind.com and, and find out about the work that I'm doing

with Hisami because her teaching is really deep and profound and simple.

Very, easy ways to connect with spirituality.

And then my part in that journey is, is kind of taking that simple Buddha like

quality that she has and then saying, okay, and, uh, here's how somebody very

analytical, very active, uh, relates to that, and mi both misunderstands it

and, you know, some kind of the, um, the translator between her world and

the, the people like me that are very active mentally and chasing things.

So it's a really, it's a fun, you know, you kind of get to

see it right in the teaching.

Like, how did these two vary different people stay together

and create something, you know, lasting and beautiful.

And, and not have like, almost, uh, anything on the surface in common.

You know, everything's, everything on the surface is the opposite,

but in the center, uh, there's love, there's commitment to being

ourselves, to growing, to learning.

So that's, it's fun.

I just, I just love it.

So if you're, if you're interested in that, yeah, spiritmind.com.

Last thing here, what you said reminds me of, um, we live here part of the

year in the Casablanca by the Sea in Spain, and it reminds me of this

moment when I was walking on the beach and I was thinking of the next high

level expansion and I was talking to my wife about vision and expansion

and breakthrough, and she commented about the beauty of the waves, the

beauty of where we're walking at.

And in that moment I was like, yeah, yeah.

And the next level of

Right.

the same thing.

She's like she's like, open your eyes.

Look around.

It's gorgeous now.

exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

you so much.

We really appreciate you.

Thank you so much for being on the podcast.

Wow.

Thank you for listening to this episode.

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