Foreign.

Welcome to Consulting for Humans, a podcast all about life in consulting.

You're with Mike and Ian, and in.

Each episode, Ian and I will be shining a light on a new topic that gets to the heart of what makes consultants happy and successful.

That's right.

And on the Consulting for Humans podcast, it's our mission to add just a little more humanity to the lives of consultants.

So we'd love to bring some of the skills and perspectives of consulting to human lives, too.

If you're a consultant who's trying to be more of a human or a human who's trying to be more of a consultant, then we think you're just our kind of person.

Absolutely.

And Mike, it's holiday time.

People listening are probably going to be looking ahead to time with family, looking ahead to wrapping up those last couple of pieces of assignment work, looking ahead to the holidays.

So we're going to be talking about consulting and the holidays or the Christmas season.

We've got some stories to share, a few stories in this episode and a little more in the luminaries tier as well.

We've got some thoughts on a festive shopping list for last minute holiday gifts for consultants.

And we just like to make sure that everybody out there knows that we're wishing you and your families a happy holidays.

So that's what we have to talk about today.

Mike, you and I have been around for a few Christmases and holiday seasons in our careers, right?

We have been.

Well, let's think about this for a second.

What stories come to your mind when you think of either triumphs or tribulations of consulting at this time of year?

It's funny, I think ever since you told me about Type 2 fun, it's brought a number of consulting stories to mind.

That type 2 fun, where it's fun as you think back on it, even though it might not have been very much fun when it happened.

And one of my consulting stories about the holidays is that that way, I guess there's the tendency to go right to Christmas.

But this one was actually a New Year's, but it's a follow on for Christmas.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, we had a project had to be finished by year end, and so we all had very, very little time off for Christmas.

Virtually none.

We were back on the client site wrapping up the project and we had decided, my family and I, that given how short a time we had for Christmas, we were going to do a big New Year's Eve, get together and invite friends and family.

And that way we'd make up for that.

But as we finished, of course at the last minute, because why would you ever finish before the last minute?

It is by definition the last minute.

And the we I could just get out in time to fly home to make the party.

However, as is often the case in holiday times, I might one flight there was cancellations and delays and I had missed my connection and there was now no way to get home in time for the party.

So I spent New Year's Eve in a virtual get together with the party.

And virtual back then meant you picked up the hotel phone and you dialed and somebody stuck the press the speaker button on the phone on the wall at home so people could cycle by and say, happy New Year, Mike.

And I was sitting there with a delivery pizza at a crappy air hotel going, gosh, so sorry I couldn't see you.

But that, you know, that was one of.

One of many holiday consulting stories I think I'll always remember.

I'd kind of like to think.

Part of me wants to think that FaceTime and Zoom and Teams would have made that situation better, but they really wouldn't have.

That's right.

You really don't want to be on FaceTime and Zoom as you're going back and forth miserably to the hotel mini bar and eating cold pizza.

Ah, dear me.

Well, Mike, that.

That's a story of life on the road.

One of the things I think we all hope for is that sometime around holiday time, we all get to be back with our colleagues and we get to have the practice or the firm Christmas party.

And one of my favorite memories of back in the day when I was part of a big firm, there was like three or four thousand people around the world that the London office, which was a big part of the firm at that time, had its holiday party pretty close.

Like sometimes people have Christmas parties in late November and it doesn't really feel Christmassy.

This was mid December, just a week or two before Christmas.

So everybody was feeling kind of festive.

And the company CEO came over from the United States and he was going to give a big speech at the Christmas party.

Now CEOs giving inspirational speeches to the troops at Christmas parties.

You can debate whether that's a smart move or not, but this particular guy, you and I both know him, he had a bit of a fondness for pronouncements of various kinds.

So he made a couple of rookie errors and he shouldn't have done because he was in no way a rookie anyhow.

Two rookie errors.

Error number one was deciding that it was Going to be a good thing to talk business.

He wasn't going to talk everybody have a great holiday.

Cheers, glasses, bars on me.

He wanted to talk business and he wanted to talk about inspirational things that were coming in the next year.

That was rookie error number one, especially given that there were Brits in the room and you know what we're like.

Error number two was timing.

Mike.

We both know timing is everything.

If he had made his hurrah speech at like 6:30, maybe 6:45, it might have escaped unscathed.

But he made a speech between the dessert and the coffee and the petit four.

So it was like nine going on 10.

And you know what might have happened in those intervening hours and the state everybody was in.

Anyhow, he decided, decided that he was going to launch into the extended edit of his encouraging speech for the year ahead.

And to begin with, kind of a hush settled on the room and then everybody get a little bit more uncertain.

By the time he was halfway through his speech, there was quite a lot of buzz.

By the time we got to the end, there was at least one person had accepted a bet to go on the stage behind the CEO doing the disco caterpillar.

Oh no.

This generated enterprising and analyst who thought, I can do the disco caterpillar and I'll take that action.

The CEO thought this.

All of the hoots and roars and applause and hoorahs were for him.

Of course, this is before the days of video cameras on cell phones, so nobody snapped evidence that this is what had gone on.

He was convinced that the speech had been a home run.

The analyst, I think, never had to buy their own cocktails at the Christmas holiday party ever again.

And my God, I'm kind of missing that.

I know lots of us out there will have had their phone Christmas party, but missing that side of large corporate, big consulting firm life right now.

How about you?

And it's funny because I remember I always loved when I had an opportunity to work in the UK in the months leading up to Christmas because it was one, it was a little cooler when I was living in the south, so it got me in the mood a little bit more.

And two, no matter when we went out to grab a bite, there was always a sign somewhere that said, book your office Christmas party now.

And for months.

And so I'd always be reminded the season was upcoming.

But that office Christmas party thing reminds me of my just an absolute babe in the woods, in the youth I was.

I was relatively new to all this.

The firm had its party, it Was going well, and a number of folks.

We had a lot of.

We had lots of clients.

We had people from the regulatory staffs.

We had all sorts of folks there.

And folks were saying, we're wrapping up.

It's going to be.

What's going on?

10:00, we're not quite done.

And my wife and I said, you know what, we could invite everybody over.

We hadn't planned anything, but we thought.

So we spread the word and said, we're going to leave now, go pick up some stuff and meet you at our house.

Here's the address and please come if you want to, and we'll just go a little bit longer.

And we had.

We already knew we had enough there because we had stocked for the holidays for.

For entertaining and for drinking.

And so as it turned out, we came and the head regulator said, you know what?

I'm a little directly challenged.

Do you mind if I follow you?

I'll stop with you.

He went along.

We were delighted.

Yeah, he's coming.

This is great.

Big catch.

This is great.

We're so excited.

And we get there, he's helping us put stuff out and set up, and we're pulling drinks out and we're getting everything set up and we're chatting and we have a drink and we're chatting and we have another drink and nobody showed up.

But it's a half hour's gone by and we're like, oh.

And he starts sneaking glances at his watch and saying, I've got a little bit.

I really need to get done in the morning.

And I say, gee, I'm really sorry.

I thought we'd have more folks, but I appreciate you coming.

And it's been great.

And walked him over to the door, helping him with his coat.

Opened the door, and there are 50 people standing in the snow in our driveway.

Oh, my God.

The folks say, I thought you pressed the button.

I thought you pressed the button.

Didn't you knock?

No, I thought you had knocked.

Priceless.

So it was.

It turned out to be a happy Christmas after all.

And did the right guy just stick around for a couple.

A couple more eggnogs before he went on his way?

He did, in fact, and I could see the look on his face.

Oh, my gosh.

I just made my excuses why I have to absolutely leave.

And so I said, roy, you know, if.

I know you got a really busy morning, but if you have a few more minutes, I know everybody love to see.

He said, wow, I guess I could stay a little longer and have another drink.

So it was great.

Fantastic.

Holiday parties.

I learned a new word recently, the word liminal.

Holiday parties are a liminal time of year, aren't they?

They're a liminal situation and we're all kind of living on the edge a little bit.

And besides stories about holiday parties and travel and stuff, there are probably other things that happen around the close of the year that we can learn from as well.

So, Mike, we're going to carry on with our storytelling in the Luminaries episode with some learnings as well about scope creep, about client management.

We're going to a little bit about culture, about team motivation.

We've got some great things to learn from as you and I swap a few more stories of holiday seasons gone by in consulting.

But Mike, before we wrap up here, we need to think about the needs of our listeners here.

One or two of us might be stuck for a last minute holiday gift idea.

So let's talk about this.

We dug around on the Internet looking for handy lists of Christmas gifts for consultants, and we found one.

We'll put the link in the show notes if you're interested.

I've got to confess, I don't think it's from this year, but it was so hilariously obviously composed by a bot or somebody who has only a very vague idea of what consulting is that we thought we might go through it and see if you and I can spot any personal favorites or personal highlights.

If Marty from Suits was shopping for holiday gifts, this I think is where he'd go looking.

So here we go.

Mike, we have this.

Pause a minute.

I've got my wrong page here.

This is from a gifting firm called gemnote.com no disrespect intended to them, but this list is hilarious.

15 favorite gifts, it says here for business consultants and consulting firms.

Mike, that said the right message that.

Send the right message.

So what's the first one that we have on the list there?

Well, the first is a tribute press, French press, coffee maker for coffee connoisseurs here.

Right.

Modern styling, environmentally conscious, and all the other trappings of modern coffee brewing here.

Oh, when appreciated, people work harder.

They so do.

It doesn't mention decaf.

I'm sure decaf is an option.

I've got a feeling this is playing to the kind of hipster coffee snobbery.

But who doesn't already have a French press, honestly?

I mean, come on, especially these days.

Second on the list.

If the caffeine isn't helping, then maybe you need to go the other way and wind down the homedics massager Spoil your VIPs.

I think that means yourself with a spa treatment for right at home.

Twin percussion pro massager, dual head percussion added heat features to give the ultimate in comfort and soothing.

And there's one of those.

There's pictures of an androgynous torso with this massager thing going all over it.

Nobody I've ever met in life in consulting has looked that toned.

Nobody I've ever met in life in consulting has ever traveled with a massager.

As far as I know, it looks kind of big as well to go.

I was thinking most, most of the.

Consultants I know would have a hard time lifting this thing.

There's certainly no mistake that anybody was interfering in your personal business with a small massager.

So this one is not to be mistaken as a, you know, too personal gift.

Okay, so we're done with the massager.

What's next on our consultant self care holiday?

Well, here's one.

I mean, what consultant could do without a modern sprout aloe fine balance take care kit.

Wow.

What?

And it tells us that maintaining that delicate life work balance isn't easy.

Of course it's easy.

As one CEO said, it's very important and I want you all to work it out on your own time.

But consultants often find work outweighing relaxation.

Here's the truest thing they have said here.

But we can help them find a little Zen with this kit.

An aloe grow kit, it says, because nurturing a plant nurtures you.

And a relaxing aromatherapy re diffuser with lemongrass and clary sage essential oils.

Yes, Larry, Sage.

They're the ones, aren't they?

Now I, I think that this is, we're getting a bit of a generational thing here.

I think this is especially for the millennials and Gen Z's who to be honest, are probably the majority of the profession these days.

Mike.

So I don't think we can afford to be too snippy about self care and an aloe grow kit.

But wow.

No, for me it would be sandalwood incense at a day glow poster.

But hey, you know my blue light in the back office and swishing around going, no, it's the incense smelling.

It's the incense.

Fun times.

We've had an indoors theme up till now.

Item number four on our consultant holiday shopping list is a rains blanket, a waterproof fabric.

How they've managed to curate this into a list of consultant gifts, I don't know.

It says this is appreciated by Friday night football fans, avid campers and more.

Buckled webbing Straps are a nice touch to make for easy packing, carrying and storage for the outdoorsy consultant in your life.

I don't know, maybe for those times when you pull an all nighter and you need to stretch out in a corner of the office, that's when you might need this.

I guess this is exactly my thinking.

It was like when you're at the client site and you're sleeping on their boardroom table before that 8am presentation and they have the environmentally friendly system that cut off the heating at about 10 at night so that you're just freezing.

You need this blanket with you here.

But you know, you don't just need a blanket for that night, you need a Comparte's chocolate bar.

You know, chocolates from scratch by hand gourmet since 1950, cooked in their Los Angeles kitchens.

And this is it.

It says one of our faves, it's so hard to choose is the Marshmallow Crisp bar.

A trifecta of rich milk chocolate, marshmallows and crispy rice cereal.

I thought, how do they take one of my grandmothers, fix it for the holiday little mix it up things and stick it into a gourmet bar.

How about that, right?

And how do they suppose that anybody's ever walked the streets of Los Angeles pulling their weedy bag along behind them before they go to the airport and ever thought, gee, I wonder what the artisanal chocolate is like here in la?

Not a thing I've ever thought about the Angeles this small number of times that I've been there.

Still, chocolate gifts are a bit of a good go to, right?

Yeah, that looks like about $7.99 worth of chocolate.

The next one seems like it's way at the other end of the gifting budget spectrum.

A Sport case for AirPods.

And it's it lists the recipients of this as music lovers.

Anyone addicted to podcasts, which is fair play.

There we go.

Or TED talks.

I think that reference is already a few years old.

Anybody addicted to those things will appreciate the protection that this sport case provides for their airpods.

A perforated surface pattern antimicrobial defense prevents 99% of surface bacteria.

I'm getting post Covid anxiety vibes here and a removable lanyard to keep you securely tethered wherever you go.

Well, I can give this one like a solid 6 out of 10 because I do know people who've troubled to get themselves initialed or monogrammed AirPods cases for when they leave them around the Office.

And everybody's AirPods case looks like everybody else's AirPods case, but really antimicrobial.

Really removable lanyard I think.

I think you can get these down the mobile phone store for a lot less.

There you go.

There you go.

We've got next on the list, Ian, a compass brief bag with simplicity in mind.

It says all you need including fake fur to protect your 13 inch laptop and organize your other essentials for business on the go.

And I'm thinking this thing looks like it's about the size of the forearm on this guy holding it.

It's tiny.

I thought when did I ever go on a project with this tiny little dainty bag?

No, no, no, it's.

I got to carry all this stuff onto the flight, man.

I got to be moving here.

Yeah, this is.

And you need all the other etc, your chargers and all the other plug in bits and 15 different notebooks and your pad of post its and your two or three flip chart Pennsylvania by.

My alternate second screen and come on guys, where's.

Now this is definitely.

This looks like a partner's bag, not a consultant's bag.

Exactly the but it's also old school.

Like I have been bought, I've gladly been bought briefcases for work by my loved ones in the past.

So I can't completely spurn the briefcase.

But this one looks all brief and no case to me.

Right, so next, an item of clothing I don't think anybody has ever thought what I really need for my life as a consultant is a fleece jacket.

But here we go.

We have a North Face Canyon flats jacket on a consultant's gifting list here.

Midweight activewear jacket with built in stretch.

Actually, hold on a second, Mike.

I'm sold.

My time of life.

Anything with built in stretch.

I'm clicking on that right now.

Glenn.

Sleeves for maximum comfort.

Oh yeah, this is sounding better.

Oh wait, it's partially constructed from recycled material.

All of a sudden I'm not loving it anymore.

Comfiness, sleek style, sure to warm the heart and other parts of your favorite consultant.

We've all got chips of ice for hearts anyway in his profession, Mike.

So I don't know why they're even bothering here.

We've got for the entire consulting firm a luxe collection of raspberry Jam Petites which consists of three small little boxes of vanilla sugar cone crisps of raspberry Jam Petites and then almond butter cookies.

So a few cookies, a few kind of little raspberry jam things here.

And I'm looking at this thinking this is.

I'm Thinking about sitting in the airport lounge next to a hungry consultant.

This looks like half a handful of one of those swipes through the bowls as they're pounding on their laptop here.

It looks cute.

I'm sure it's expensive.

And when you could get barely, you.

Could get the same thing by just go to two or three hotels and swipe what they leave on the pillow.

That's what this is right here.

This is Marriott hotel pillow leavings.

Yeah.

For I dread to think how.

Okay, good.

I'm glad that they're thinking of the kind of pleasurable things in life.

Another big swing now, Mike, from comestibles to to wearables, we've got a Fitbit fitness tracker for health minded VIP consultants.

It says because we all need a little extra help to recover.

Thing is, Mike, every consultant I know that is ever likely to need one of these has got at least one on their wrist and at least two more that are out of date and unchargeable in a draw someplace.

So.

Right.

So yeah, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give that the wave.

What else have we got here?

Well, more chocolates.

Yet another chocolatiers.

And this actually though has a luscious drink mix which is a little nod to our other podcast, little lovers hoe here.

A little hot chocolate pot of chocolate, that would be great.

But then another small pack of Michelin star rated chocolates here from a restaurant of that ilk.

And I'm thinking, yeah, okay, again, stay at the right hotels, you've got status because you're on the road all the time and you've got plenty of these in the bag.

Indeed, indeed.

A few themes emerging here.

Leisure wear, business travel accessories and fancy candy and chocolate of various kinds.

We've got a different one here.

Homewares that are intentional, unexpected and thus perfect gifts for management consultants.

Step forward.

The Muses vase or vase with a classical yet modern Grecian vibe makes a bold statement at the home or office.

Have your florist create a holiday arrangement in it to take this gift to the next level.

I don't know anybody in consulting who has their florist on speed dial, Mike.

I don't know anybody who looks at their desk thinking, what this place needs is a Grecian vase.

Most consultants look at their desks and think what this place needs is a blowtorch and a big waste bin.

Just to get us all in a little bit better place.

Thinking that way.

We have a healing candle with an uplifting aroma of velvet moss and citrus in a Soy candle from the Thought catalog here.

Healing, it says, is the process of remembering that everything is okay.

I'm not sure that many people in our profession get to December 22nd to think, oh yeah, everything is okay.

Most people are getting December 22nd thinking, oh my gosh, there's the 17 personal things and then 117 professional things that I haven't done before the end of the year.

Right.

Still again, Mike, I'm getting the generational vibes here.

I think this is kind of millennial.

Gen Zs are going to love this candle idea.

I don't think it's very uniquely about consultants, though.

Let's see what else we.

We have another luggage accessory item, a durable Rover pack classic.

A great way to spoil your consultants with a holiday gift that goes the distance.

Exterior, front pockets giving quick access to smaller items.

Laptop sleeve, expandable side pockets.

All this in a sleek silhouette.

This is a backpack, Mike.

This is looking more like it.

I could see you carrying something like this, except for the fact that it's all moody and dark and black ballistic nylon, but apart from that, yeah, this is okay.

I'm not going to click on it though, because that's going to ruin my browser history forever.

But yeah, last but not least, and I think you pegged this one earlier, ian.

This is 2021 list and we're still very Covid minded.

This is the world's first self cleaning water bottle and water purification system.

So uses LED technology to eliminate 99.9999% appealing to those consultants and numbers of harmful bacteria and viruses.

Now, it says it, you get fresh pure water in 60 seconds and the bottle keeps water cold for 24 hours and hot for 12 hours.

As one friend once said, thinking, I've got this one, one bottle like this and it keeps my soup piping hot, but it keeps my drink super cold.

How does it know?

How does it know?

By not bothering about thermodynamics, that's how.

And I like that.

The promo picture for this gift is we get just a tiny shot of a person.

This person is male and bearded and wearing a very tightly fitting sweater and sitting typing at a very skinny, sleek looking laptop with this great big water bottle in front of them.

That's aspirational for those of us who aren't sleek and love to have a tidy desk.

So, Mike, I hope that all the listeners are inspired by our holiday gift ideas.

What else are we thinking about as we get close to the end of the year here and close to the holiday season?

Well, we're absolutely thinking that we hope that you and yours have a wonderful holiday season.

Wet plagued by last minute projects or not, we hope you get to spend some time with your loved ones, friends and colleagues in a reflective mood.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you for having been with us on the journey for these first few rounds of the Consulting for Humans podcast.

We're looking forward to bringing you more great stories and ideas and thinking here on the regular show and and of course on the Luminaries tier.

Thank you for being with us.

We'll see you again next time on the Consulting for Humans podcast.