Welcome to the ADHD Women's Wellbeing podcast.
Kate Moore YoussefI'm Kate Moore Youssef and I'm a wellbeing and lifestyle coach, EfT practitioner, mum to four kids and passionate about helping more women to understand and accept their amazing ADHD brains.
Kate Moore YoussefAfter speaking to many women just like me, and probably you, I know there is a need for more health and lifestyle support for women newly diagnosed with ADHD.
Kate Moore YoussefIn these conversations, you'll learn from insightful guests, hear new findings and discover powerful perspectives and lifestyle tools to enable you to live your most fulfilled, calm and purposeful life wherever you are on your ADHD journey.
Kate Moore YoussefHere's today's episode.
Kate Moore YoussefToday, I'm absolutely delighted to bring to you a guest all the way from New Zealand.
Kate Moore YoussefIt's four in the morning for her.
Kate Moore YoussefHer name is Skye Waterson.
Kate Moore YoussefNow, Sky is a founder of unconventional organization.
Kate Moore YoussefSkye's a former academic with over seven years of experience working in adult education.
Kate Moore YoussefSkye was diagnosed with ADHD at the start of her doctorate and since then, she has dedicated time researching, disseminating ADHD studies, focusing on supporting others with strength based, neurodiverse friendly tools and systems, which I now believe you've put into your fantastic business, your coaching business, and we will discuss all of that.
Kate Moore YoussefSo, Skye, welcome to the podcast.
Kate Moore YoussefI'm very excited to dive in and get talking.
Skye WatersonThanks.
Skye WatersonIt's wonderful to be here and I think I'm probably better equipped for the 04:00 a.m.
Skye Watersonbecause we were just talking about it.
Skye WatersonThis is when I usually start working because I work with so many wonderful people in the UK and the US primarily.
Skye WatersonBut I live in New Zealand.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah, I mean, the fact that we were just discussing, I was saying there's no way I could do four in the morning.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd you were saying, you know, 05:00 p.m.
Kate Moore Yousseffor you is like really difficult.
Kate Moore YoussefSo it just shows, doesn't it, how unique we all are with our neurodiverse brains and we.
Kate Moore YoussefIt actually just highlights the power of acknowledging what works best for us.
Kate Moore YoussefWhere we do those sprints, where we can be productive, where we know when that productive couple of hours are and when we need to sort of take some time out and rest.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah, I mean, first of all, let's backtrack a little bit.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd what really intrigued me is that you said you found out that you were ADHD while you were in the process of doing your PhD.
Kate Moore YoussefCan you tell us a little bit about that?
Skye WatersonYeah, so basically I'd gone through my masters and, you know, my grades had been good.
Skye WatersonBut I had felt like I was burning out.
Skye WatersonYou know, I'd actually taken some time off between my master's and my PhD, and it just felt like there was something going on.
Skye WatersonSome days I was great.
Skye WatersonSome days I was struggling.
Skye WatersonThere were some areas, you know, with grammar, which I thought maybe I had dyslexia because there were some areas where I was just missing things.
Skye WatersonSo I thought, okay, well, let's go to the inclusive learning center, and maybe they'll diagnose me with dyslexia and we'll find out what it is.
Skye WatersonSo I went in there all scared.
Skye WatersonI didn't know anything.
Skye WatersonDespite teaching development in kids, it wasn't a huge.
Skye WatersonWe knew about autism in kids, but that was kind of it.
Skye WatersonAnd so I went in, and, yeah, we did a couple of days of different testing, and at the end, they said, okay, we don't know about the dyslexia, but we think you should get your formal diagnosis with ADHD.
Skye WatersonAnd I went, I'm sorry, what?
Skye WatersonAnd this was right at the beginning of my PhD.
Skye WatersonIt was a really huge moment because I had sort of chosen my professor, I'd chosen my topic, and then everything changed.
Kate Moore YoussefWow.
Kate Moore YoussefI mean, to have got to that point in academia, and like you said, there was sort of certain things that maybe you'd kind of, like, picked up some red flags, but you just kind of persisted.
Kate Moore YoussefI wondered when you had then had that kind of, like, realization about the ADHD, did you look back and realize how much effort and how exhausting it must have been being in this academic world?
Kate Moore YoussefProbably having to work twice, three times as hard as other people.
Skye WatersonYeah.
Skye WatersonWell, I sort of realized that, you know, I knew that academia, you know, especially when I first started, I was looking into, am I a clinical psychologist?
Skye WatersonAm I a lawyer?
Skye WatersonI was doing all of those, you know, very competitive tracks.
Skye WatersonAnd so everyone was competing.
Skye WatersonEveryone was competing to get into these small things and that kind of stuff.
Skye WatersonAnd then I think what happened was I went the more, you know, general psychology academic route, and I still was just working at that level and assuming that kind of everyone else was.
Skye WatersonAnd the truth was that that wasn't true.
Skye WatersonLike, other people were doing other things.
Skye WatersonBut, you know, for me, I was bringing all of this, and one of the things that I had once I got diagnosed was I could finally understand, okay, this strategy that I'd had, this was why I was doing it.
Skye WatersonThis strategy I'd had, I was just doing that because it worked one time.
Skye WatersonIt had nothing to do with ADHD.
Skye WatersonSo I could actually put down some of the unnecessary stuff that I'd accumulated.
Skye WatersonI was.
Skye WatersonIt was very much like, you know, throw some salt over your shoulder.
Skye WatersonIt works.
Skye WatersonOne time.
Skye WatersonOh, that must be it.
Skye WatersonYou know, not really actually having any reasons because I didn't know.
Skye WatersonI just knew that.
Skye WatersonI just knew that I was, like, in what I would now consider to be a bit of an ADHD burnout cycle.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah.
Kate Moore YoussefI mean, I'm more interested to know what attracted you to the academic world and to wanting to do the PhD.
Skye WatersonIt was largely because I could not imagine myself in a job.
Skye WatersonAnd I also think maybe I had the dubious benefit of graduating during the recession the first time.
Skye WatersonSo I graduated at a time when it was very, very hard to get a job.
Skye WatersonSo there was this huge barrier to entry, of actually, like, everyone was applying for jobs and it was very difficult to go through that job process.
Skye WatersonBut even when I did and I got, you know, through and I was doing interviews and things like that, I never felt comfortable with the idea of, like, picking one thing and doing that.
Skye WatersonLike, if you look at my academic, especially pre ADHD career, I was like, going psychology, sociology, public health, population health, you know, and so there was this feeling of like, maybe I just haven't found the topic that's gonna light me up for the rest of my life.
Skye WatersonIronically, that was true.
Skye WatersonNow, I found this.
Skye WatersonBut the ADHD side, it did leave me kind of wanting to just keep exploring, especially in my twenties.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah, I mean, what I can hear is that there was all these little clues and that kind of questioning of, like, why can't I just find that thing that just interests me and I can just stay interested and do what?
Kate Moore YoussefLike, you know, normal.
Kate Moore YoussefI'm doing inverted commas, neurotypical people do, and they find the one thing and then they just focus on that and then.
Kate Moore YoussefBut I think actually, academia is a very ADHD, a line of work to go into because we love research.
Kate Moore YoussefWe can uncover new things, our curiosity, our hyper focus.
Kate Moore YoussefYou know, on the flip side, it can be very difficult.
Kate Moore YoussefThere's a huge amount of burnout.
Kate Moore YoussefI see this in hearing from a lot of people who have done PhDs and masters and worked in sort of research or doctorates, and there is that sort of burnout.
Kate Moore YoussefBut when we understand our ADHD and we understand the way our brains work, then we can work in a way that suits us.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd this.
Kate Moore YoussefWhat sort of brings me to my next question is that it seems that you really have a passion for helping people understand their productivity and get the best out of their ADHD productivity because we want to dispel these myths and these stigmas of, oh, we're not productive.
Kate Moore YoussefWe can't get things done.
Kate Moore YoussefWe're hugely disorganized.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd, yes, there obviously is a huge amount of that because we have not understood our brains and we've been fed a huge amount of negative beliefs about ourselves and which, you know, if we've never had an understanding, we believe those.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd then it's just a kind of like a snowball effect.
Kate Moore YoussefBut when we're able to get that awareness of the ADHD and go, oh, okay, so I'm productive, but I'm just not productive in a way that other people are productive.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd we let go of that shame, and we embrace that.
Kate Moore YoussefI love.
Kate Moore YoussefI really love to be able to help people with that and see that and recognize that.
Kate Moore YoussefTell me a little bit about, is that, like, a bit of a cornerstone of your business and is that passion of yours?
Skye WatersonYeah, 100%.
Skye WatersonYou know, often what I want people to know is that it doesn't have to be.
Skye WatersonEverything is being pushed up the hill all the time.
Skye WatersonThat feeling like you're just pushing, you wake up and even before you get out of bed, like, the.
Skye WatersonGetting out of bed feels hard.
Skye WatersonEverything feels hard.
Skye WatersonOne of the things that I've learned and I've studied and worked with people on is that we can create these kinds of effortlessly balanced days where things just flow.
Skye WatersonThey feel like, oh, and I'm getting up, and I'm using this strategy and this dopamine here, and this is organized in the way that works for my brain, and now I'm getting some stuff done.
Skye WatersonAnd that didn't feel bad, actually, that felt okay.
Skye WatersonAnd so you're not fighting your internal adhd ness the whole day, getting to the end of it, being super exhausted, bedtime procrastination, not getting enough sleep, starting again the next day, we can tip the scales in the opposite direction.
Kate Moore YoussefI love that this effortlessly balanced way, because I believe that when we've been diagnosed later on in life, we, our nervous systems have just got used to working in this way where everything feels stressful and anxiety inducing and we don't know what life feels like when things feel like, you say, effortlessly balanced and easy and in flow, because we've always been pushing ourselves up, up that hill.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd then we can just make a choice.
Kate Moore YoussefWe can just go, actually, it's okay for me to do things differently and do well doing that.
Kate Moore YoussefLike, when we are doing things well and we are being successful and things are flowing.
Kate Moore YoussefThere's a voice in the back of our head going, well, this is you.
Kate Moore YoussefLike this.
Kate Moore YoussefSomething's gonna change.
Kate Moore YoussefLike, something's gonna blow up here because.
Skye WatersonOh, yeah, yeah.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd that, again, in, like, our nervous system is like, well, life feels good.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I feel like I'm kind of, like, leaning into what feels good to me.
Kate Moore YoussefBut why should it be this easy when my whole life it hasn't been easy?
Kate Moore YoussefAnd that takes a lot of getting used to.
Kate Moore YoussefI mean, for me, I'm still like that.
Kate Moore YoussefLike, I'm like, how do I do?
Kate Moore YoussefThis is my job.
Kate Moore YoussefLike, is this a real job?
Skye WatersonBecause when I tell people what my.
Kate Moore YoussefJob is, yeah, I may.
Kate Moore YoussefI've made up my title and what I do because it doesn't really exist.
Kate Moore YoussefSo tell me a little bit about when people are coming to you and they're saying, I've got a project and I have something big that I want to complete, but I just don't know how to get from a to z because all those little things in between are just so terrifying and overwhelming.
Kate Moore YoussefBut I just don't think I've got it in me.
Kate Moore YoussefI don't think I've got that capability.
Skye WatersonYeah, well, you know, one of the things that we talk about is that project design or goal setting, these kinds of things, they are as much of an ADHD struggle as anything else.
Skye WatersonPeople often say, like, you need to work towards the goal.
Skye WatersonThat's the ADHD struggle.
Skye WatersonBut actually, when you look at time blindness, when you look at working memory, even setting the goal is a struggle in itself.
Skye WatersonSo the first thing that we would do is actually take you back five years ago and say, where were you and what were you doing?
Skye WatersonWhere are you now?
Skye WatersonTrying to get a sense for you of how time works.
Skye WatersonKind of like even place you in time and from there kind of go, okay, you didn't know anything about ADHD five years ago.
Skye WatersonLike, this is your life.
Skye WatersonThis is where you were, and look where you are now.
Skye WatersonThat's really cool.
Skye WatersonKind of get a little bit of that positive energy going, and then from there go, okay, now, what is your project?
Skye WatersonWhat is your goal?
Skye WatersonAnd often that helps people to really see how time could work both positively and negatively.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah, I think that's really powerful for people, especially with ADHD, to be able to see how far they've come because we're so focused on all the things that we perceive that we can't do properly or can't do well or where we have that sort of deficit in.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd actually to be able to say, well, that version of you five years ago had no awareness and look how much awareness that you have now, and look what you are considering and look what you are thinking of taking on.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd we just think, well, if that's where we are right now, let's have a little think about where we're going to be in a few years time, that growth.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I think focusing on that, but I mean, I go back all the time to even myself now and I have a huge amount of self belief than I used to.
Kate Moore YoussefLike, there's no way the version of me five years ago would have envisioned myself where I am right now, doing what I'm doing.
Skye WatersonOh, same.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I, I feel sad for that version of me because I genuinely didn't think I had it in me to be able to first of all, like, stay with something for this long.
Kate Moore YoussefLike, the podcast has been going for two and a half years to stick at something, to not get bored.
Skye WatersonCongratulations.
Kate Moore YoussefThank you.
Kate Moore YoussefBut also the project, you know, the things behind it, I didn't know if I had.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd thankfully I've been able to lean into support and delegate and everything.
Kate Moore YoussefBut is this where you come in when people are coming to you and they are desperate to make change and they're desperate to fulfil their potential?
Kate Moore YoussefWould you say that sometimes that barrier that block is their self belief, that they can take a project from the beginning to the end?
Skye WatersonI think it's really tough.
Skye WatersonI mean, it's very hard to bring self belief to somebody if they don't have it.
Skye WatersonThe ways that I've really been able to do it is one talking about what they've already done to give them a sense that they have achieved in the past and they can do it again.
Skye WatersonThe other one is trying to share the fact that I have ADHD, the community has ADHD, what other people have done.
Skye WatersonWe have a channel dedicated to what we call small win celebrations.
Skye WatersonEvery time somebody has a win, they share it there to build up everyone's confidence in having these wins.
Skye WatersonBut also, sometimes you do have to just say like, okay, this is why we're doing things.
Skye WatersonIt's kind of like, you know, coaching can kind of feel like you're doing a magic trick, but you're going to show them exactly how it's being done.
Skye WatersonYou know, like, okay, I know that you've done this before and it didn't work and that was really frustrating, but we're going to actually break down your tasks using an AI.
Skye WatersonI use goblin tools.
Skye WatersonWe're going to use that to kind of break down your tasks.
Skye WatersonSo we have something that's doing the working memory for us and then we're going to check that and then from there we're going to pick one and we're going to set it up in a specific kind of way and so on and so on.
Skye WatersonAnd so that kind of thing I find explaining the executive functioning and the reasoning behind everything that's happening while it's happening gives people a lot more confidence because I don't want them to be confident in me, I want them to be confident in themselves.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd you mentioned using goblet.
Kate Moore YoussefNow, I've not used it, but I know here in the UK it's available as part of access to work.
Kate Moore YoussefOh, really?
Kate Moore YoussefYeah, I'm almost sure it is.
Kate Moore YoussefIt's an option that's cool because it.
Skye WatersonIs free to get, but it might be a paid version.
Kate Moore YoussefMaybe it's a paid version or maybe it's something else, I'm not sure.
Kate Moore YoussefBut I just wondered what your thoughts were for using AI and the tools and using that as kind of like part of our executive functioning.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I know that Doctor Tamborde, Laura Raisier, who wrote the brilliant book your brain's not broken, one of her concepts is borrowing someone else's executive functioning.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd when I heard that concept, I was like, oh my God, that's amazing.
Kate Moore YoussefSo someone can borrow my creativity and my kind of, like, I don't know, hyper focus and curiosity and then I can borrow someone else's executive functioning and, you know, processing or whatever, but using AI, I'm hearing more and more that a lot of people who are a bit more savvy with tech are using it and having great success.
Kate Moore YoussefI just wondered what your thoughts were.
Skye WatersonYeah, well, yeah, I'm a big fan of using any of the tools we use.
Skye WatersonYou know, we'll use Miro, we'll use, which is a digital whiteboarding system, we'll use AI.
Skye WatersonGoblin tools is particularly helpful, specifically, you know, designed for ADHD in that way, but it's really about knowing how to use it and when to use it.
Skye WatersonYou know, a lot of times people will come to me sort of overburdened with apps.
Skye WatersonThey'll have kind of like apps coming out of every little, like, nook and cranny.
Skye WatersonThey'll be like, these are the five journals.
Skye WatersonThis is the one for this day.
Skye WatersonThis is the one for that day.
Skye WatersonAnd this is my app that I half use and I didn't use anymore.
Skye WatersonAnd so one of the things we first have to do is we have to kind of clear away a lot of the stuff because, you know, I have this as well, and I have to be very strict with myself around.
Skye WatersonLike, you don't just get to start a new app because somebody mentioned it, so easy to do.
Skye WatersonAnd, you know, there is that burst of dopamine from starting a new thing, and it's clear, so there's no way to mess it up, you know, yet.
Skye WatersonBut we teach systems for how to build it because otherwise it can just become another thing that's kind of like, in the way.
Kate Moore YoussefTotally.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I'm so glad that you said that because, you know, as a podcast, I get a lot of people who are creating ADHD tools, systems, AI, you know, apps and all of that, and they always want to kind of come on the podcast or they want me to talk about it.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I actually, for me, the way my brain works.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd again, because we're all very different and unique, that I really just need simplicity.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I have been that person that has five different journals and think, right, I'm gonna have a journal for like, just, you know, brainstorming.
Kate Moore YoussefThey're gonna have a journal for this journal for that.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd then I forget which journal is which, and then I lose a journal.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd so for me, the consistency that's worked for me is using my notes, sending myself text messages, and my alarm on my phone, like reminders constantly.
Kate Moore YoussefSo everything's kinda of on my phone, because there's only so many apps we can all have on our phone, and it's contributing to the burnout and the overwhelm, and simplifying our systems and simplifying the way we work, for sure, for many people, is the way we can be more productive, I think.
Skye WatersonYeah, I've seen people do amazing things by simplifying their systems, and I've seen people close million dollar deals.
Skye WatersonSome of my clients with their Google Doc, it's really amazing.
Skye WatersonI see us as more of tech minimalists because, you know, it can be very high tech, but it's about integration.
Skye WatersonBut a lot of that is about supporting working memory, especially when you're in that capture phase of organization.
Skye WatersonAnd this is actually something we talk about once we get into the depths of those big projects, we have to have an organizational system.
Skye WatersonAnd so there's sort of three phases.
Skye WatersonThere's sort of the capture phase, the prioritization phase, and the scheduling phase.
Skye WatersonAnd you sort of have to go through these three phases of organization.
Skye WatersonAnd sometimes, often those three phases need three different things, but they have to be super integrated and at the capture phase, you know yourself and you'll have this experience if you have ADHD and you're like, oh, I've got to remember that.
Skye WatersonGreat.
Skye WatersonYou have one click to write that down before it's gone.
Skye WatersonIf you have to open something, open something else, you're not going to remember that and then you're never going to write it down again because your brain knows you're never going to remember it, so you're just going to put it somewhere else.
Skye WatersonYou put it in your notes app anyway.
Skye WatersonSo that's often how we end up with so many journals.
Skye WatersonIt's like the one we're supposed to use and then the one we actually use because our working memory doesn't let us get to the one we're supposed to use.
Kate Moore YoussefCorrect.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah.
Kate Moore YoussefI mean, one of my fun games is going through my notes app and going through things that I've written on a dog walk or like when I've just got out the shower and then written it going, I will definitely look at that tomorrow.
Kate Moore YoussefThen obviously I don't.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd so I find, like, ideas for workshops, ideas for podcast episodes, for, you know, courses, and I'm like, oh, how did I, how did I know that?
Kate Moore YoussefLike, that, what a great idea.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd obviously it's just totally gone, but at least I know that it's there and it's not in five different journals.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I love what you said then about, like, how you've seen people become, you know, hugely successful because we mustn't forget that when we've got ADHD, there's a very high chance there's dyslexia going on.
Kate Moore YoussefThis dyscalculia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia.
Kate Moore YoussefThere's something else going on alongside the ADHD and we feel very limited when we have all these ideas in our head.
Kate Moore YoussefBut then putting it out on it in a presentation, on paper, in a book, in academia, all of that, it can make us feel less than and it can make us feel stupid that, why can't I work out that presentation deck?
Kate Moore YoussefLike, why can't I do that thing wherever moving images?
Kate Moore YoussefLike, I have that with social media that I see a lot of people doing these cool memes and reels and all of that, and I'm still kind of stuck about five years ago.
Kate Moore YoussefLike, literally, does it have the right sound?
Kate Moore YoussefDoes the writing look, you know, correct?
Kate Moore YoussefAnd that's kind of the way I am.
Kate Moore YoussefBut it is what it is and we just have to work with what we've got, but hopefully kind of growing a little bit at the same time.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I think my question really is when people come to you and they're saying, I have this idea, I have this potential, I want to do this big project, but my brain just likes simple.
Kate Moore YoussefMy brain just needs to be able to know that I'm not going to get distracted and I'm not going to get lost in a hyper focused tunnel somewhere else.
Kate Moore YoussefHow do we bring ourselves back so we can complete that task?
Skye WatersonYeah, I think that's a really great thing.
Skye WatersonAnd this is something I actually learned before I got diagnosed because I had to write theses.
Skye WatersonAnd, you know, I'm not a natural writer.
Skye WatersonPeople are really surprised because my articles are the thing that I'm often most known for.
Skye WatersonA lot of it has to do with, again, it's that flow.
Skye WatersonYou want that effortless flow.
Skye WatersonSo it's, you know, often it's about, okay, you need to get started on something.
Skye WatersonThere's ways we can help you with that.
Skye WatersonThere's like, you know, start by rewarding yourself just for sitting down.
Skye WatersonStart by, you know, doing something and then turn down the dial on that distraction.
Skye WatersonDon't turn it from like, I'm on social media to I'm doing nothing.
Skye WatersonTurn it down to, like, podcast music, and then write down exactly what you're going to get done during that time.
Skye WatersonSo we have a whole process on that.
Skye WatersonIf you're interested, you can read my article on the distraction dial where we talk about it a little bit.
Skye WatersonBut then once you're actually starting, if that feels difficult, then often it's like you said, it's about going, okay, maybe I'm not the kind of person who's going to start by writing.
Skye WatersonMaybe I need to draw diagrams.
Skye WatersonMaybe I need to talk.
Skye WatersonThere's amazing voice to texts all over the place now that you can use.
Skye WatersonThe best one is just Google Siri, that kind of thing.
Skye WatersonThey do voice to text now, you know, so that can be helpful.
Skye WatersonTalk and walk, you know, so there's different ways that you can get the information down, especially in that initial capture stage.
Skye WatersonAnd then once you have it, you can do it.
Skye WatersonAnd I am.
Skye WatersonI've written a thesis and I have done like the most terrible drafts, you know, just going to a coffee shop and writing by hand, even though I then had to hand type it all to the computer because that was just, was the best way to get it down.
Skye WatersonAnd so, you know, we are all different.
Skye WatersonAnd I think you're totally right.
Skye WatersonI think one of the things we'll probably find in the future is that this is huge.
Skye WatersonUnknown.
Skye WatersonOther diagnoses, dyslexia, dysgraphia, they don't get diagnosed, but they actually do have a big impact on people's lives when they're neurodiverse, because we do tend to have this cloud of things around us.
Kate Moore YoussefTotally.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah.
Kate Moore YoussefI mean, I know for sure that I have other things going on.
Kate Moore YoussefMaybe.
Kate Moore YoussefDefinitely dyscalculia.
Kate Moore YoussefDefinitely dyspraxia.
Skye WatersonSame.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah, yeah, definitely.
Kate Moore YoussefI just.
Kate Moore YoussefI would say dyslexia more.
Kate Moore YoussefI'm noticing it as I get older, which is really weird because I never really suspected it, but I'm really noticing certain things.
Kate Moore YoussefMaybe it's just because I'm more educated and aware and I can see the nuances of how it shows up.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd it's not just, you know, difficulty in reading or writing or spelling or anything like that.
Kate Moore YoussefSo, yeah, I think it's a matter of being able to know that when we have been conditioned by the education system, and the education system says, you have to write an essay like this, and it has to.
Kate Moore YoussefYou have to have sat down and written it using this and using that and doing this and not doing that.
Kate Moore YoussefSo we kind of grow up as adults going, well, if I do it like that, that's wrong, and I need to get permission to do it like this, and if I don't do it like that, then I'm going to be cheating.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd it's a mentality that so many of us are stuck with.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I actually was on a, like a Facebook post, someone was asking about writing with ADHD, writing a book with ADHD, and this person was almost asking for approval of the, of the, the group, saying, I actually do really well when I do the voice to text and I just talk.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd she said, but am I cheating?
Kate Moore YoussefLike, is that.
Kate Moore YoussefI'm not writing a book, am I?
Skye WatersonCause it doesn't feel as horribly hard as it did before.
Skye WatersonYeah, I sometimes, if you wanna talk about feeling a bit like this job is too easy or too good, people will come to me and they'll be like, there is no way.
Skye WatersonI have never done this before.
Skye WatersonIt's never worked before.
Skye WatersonAnd I'll just be like, okay, well, have you tried it like this?
Skye WatersonYou clearly like doing it like this.
Skye WatersonAnd then within 50 minutes, they're like, well, I'm doing it.
Skye WatersonThis is amazing.
Skye WatersonBut it's just because they've like, there is this mental block around it.
Skye WatersonAnd, you know, this is kind of how we have.
Skye WatersonWe have these things about a lot of things in our lives, and it is that permission.
Skye WatersonAnd I have to remind myself sometimes, you know, to give myself permission to do things the less efficient way, because I think that's the problem as well.
Skye WatersonA lot of the discussion is like, well, you type directly into a computer, you know, onto a document, because that's the most efficient way to write.
Skye WatersonBut that might not be the most efficient way to think.
Skye WatersonSo often I ask people, how do you think, if you're trying to think about something, where do you think that's where you should write?
Skye WatersonThat's where you should work on the project.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd to move on to something I wanted to sort of close with is the pivoting of when we get the ADHD diagnosis and we've been working in an industry or we've been working in a specific career that, like you say, has been felt like a slog.
Kate Moore YoussefIt's felt hard.
Kate Moore YoussefIt hasn't had that flow, and we've had burnout and all these different things, but we've kind of stuck at it because we should inverted commas.
Kate Moore YoussefThen we get the diagnosis, we get the awareness, we understand, and it's almost like we still need that permission to change careers, pivot, do things differently.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd, you know, I presume we're working with grown adults who've got responsibilities, maybe kids, and they still kind of think, well, am I allowed, like, am I allowed to move careers?
Kate Moore YoussefAre you noticing that a lot it with sort of pivoting or career change when people get their diagnoses?
Skye WatersonI think a lot.
Skye WatersonI think, you know, especially with the diagnosis, I think one of the things with ADHD, and I don't know if this, there's some qualitative evidence to indicate that this is true.
Skye WatersonWe are quite empathetic and mission driven.
Skye WatersonIf you say, and there is some more evidence to indicate that we're, they're motivated by intrinsics specifically.
Skye WatersonSo I think when we get diagnosed, it really lights a fire.
Skye WatersonAnd for a lot of us, it sort of helps us to understand what is our passion, how do we actually want to work?
Skye WatersonAnd sometimes that realization can move you away from the space that you were in, where you were struggling.
Skye WatersonAnd sometimes we just make adjustments to what we're doing, but sometimes we have to shift altogether.
Skye WatersonAnd that can be really, really difficult for the reason of, obviously, the permission.
Skye WatersonSometimes it's more of a sideways move, at least initially, especially if you're going to go out on your own.
Skye WatersonThat can be tough because you're going from a space where you're like, you know, you have a job, and if you say, what do you do?
Skye WatersonYou have an answer for them to somewhere where that's less the case.
Skye WatersonAnd also just because the executive functioning of actually making those changes anyway.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah, absolutely.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd in the fact that you were diagnosed or you had that realization, like, halfway through your PhD, and you said to me, you know, earlier, it was the hardest decision you've done to leave academia and to leave the confines of the PhD.
Kate Moore YoussefI mean, how much kind of stress did that bring you to have to make that decision and to say, right, I've decided to walk away and set up my own business.
Skye WatersonIt was hard.
Skye WatersonIt was really hard.
Skye WatersonIt was, honestly, in the end, I think the reason I was able to do it was because it was my, the advice of my supervisor and even, you know, like, colleagues, because, you know, they said, look, the PhD, you can come back and do the PhD again.
Skye WatersonBut it was, it was tough.
Skye WatersonI, you know, I think I'd had my, my first son about a year before, and, yeah, you got to know when you're not able to do all of the things.
Skye WatersonAnd, you know, the PhD was coming down to a point where it was going to be a lot of the writing, and it was going to take a lot of the same brain space as the academics.
Skye WatersonAnd I also, honestly, I wanted to come back later and do a PhD in this topic, in this thing that I had been studying, you know, my own way, doing the articles and studying it and still study it today independently.
Skye WatersonSo, yeah, it was a really hard discussion thing to do.
Skye WatersonI haven't really talked about that much on a podcast.
Skye WatersonI think this might be the first time.
Skye WatersonSo I'm getting a little bit emotional just having this conversation.
Skye WatersonBut it was the right thing to do, and I'm very, very happy about it.
Skye WatersonBut it was definitely, I think, an impostor syndrome moment, because it's like, you know, oh, well, you finish it and then you do everything.
Skye WatersonBut, you know, part of it is acknowledging, okay, I can't.
Skye WatersonAnd this is the same thing I tell to my clients.
Skye WatersonAnd, you know, ironically, it's always hard for you to do it as well.
Skye WatersonNot everything is right now.
Skye WatersonEverything is at, you know, you can do most of the things you want to do, hopefully at some point in your life, but you can't do everything that you want to do right now.
Skye WatersonSo it's about what is now and then what is not now.
Skye WatersonAnd I ended up deciding that the PhD was not now.
Skye WatersonAnd I'm very, very happy with that decision.
Skye WatersonIt's allowed me to have the focus, to really focus on this and just give it my all and grow it.
Skye WatersonAnd it's been amazing.
Skye WatersonBut, yeah, it was tough.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah.
Kate Moore YoussefI mean, I can really empathize and I can see how difficult that must have been.
Kate Moore YoussefI think it's wise words to know that, you know, we do have so much passion and we are sort of purpose driven, like you say, mission driven.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd we do want to do everything but at the risk of our health.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd, you know, neurodivergent burnout is very common because we do want to save the world a lot, and we do want to kind of make our mark and leave a legacy and all those things.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd that's why so many people, if you look through history, there's a very high chance that many of these people who did leave a mark in the world were probably neurodivergent in some capacity.
Kate Moore YoussefBut we also have to recognize that do we want to carry on certain generational patterns that perhaps have happened in our family and recognize our mental health as, like, being probably there at the very, very top, especially when we are parents.
Kate Moore YoussefWhen we are, you know, you've got very young children and, you know, as my kids get older, I want to model to them to show them that, yeah, it's good to do everything but to be a workaholic and to focus only on work and achieving and productivity and all of that.
Kate Moore YoussefIt's not the be all and end all in life, and it's good to have rest and time to recharge and have space and time out and holiday and all these different things that are so powerful for us.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I know that we actually, from the neurodivergent brain perspective, we do really, really well with rest and space and downtime and decompression because that is when things integrate and we think about things and all the cogs kind of go and things click into place.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd even if we just go for a walk for an hour, we'll come back and we'll have kind of lots of solutions and lots of ideas.
Skye WatersonExactly.
Skye WatersonExactly.
Skye WatersonAnd, you know, I know that, you know, ten years from now, me is going to be so happy about that decision because, you know, it's allowed me to really focus in on this and do this well.
Skye WatersonAnd I'm not by any means saying I'm just doing one thing.
Skye WatersonI have kids, there's multiple projects going on in the business.
Skye WatersonYou know, I'm not saying you should just do one thing at a time.
Skye WatersonI think it gives you time to then you know, do this and do this really well, run unconventional organization really well, and then grow the research side, the research arm of our organization, to then hopefully, what I would like to do is start publishing papers as part of that and bring that back into the academic space in its entirety.
Skye WatersonLike, that is the goal, what we've been talking about.
Skye WatersonBut it's those first shaky steps when you take them out of the world of what you're supposed to be doing.
Skye WatersonAnd people are like, oh, how's it going?
Skye WatersonAnd you have to say, oh, I chose to do something interesting.
Skye WatersonThat's something that was very difficult to do.
Kate Moore YoussefI think the fact that you're going to focus on research will be amazing because that's what we need.
Kate Moore YoussefWe keep going back to, we don't have enough evidence.
Kate Moore YoussefWe don't have enough research.
Kate Moore YoussefWe don't know enough about, especially women with ADHD and adulthood.
Kate Moore YoussefThat is what we need to be able to remove the stigmas and say to the doctors and say to our employers and all the people that are still naysaying ADHD in adulthood and going, we have the evidence here, so the system and the world and everything has to change now because we have a better understanding.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd this is not just hypothesizing.
Kate Moore YoussefWe are getting this from a very sort of evidence based level, and it's really powerful for a lot of people to say, right, okay, we get it now, and we're gonna make a change.
Skye WatersonYeah.
Skye WatersonNo, 100%.
Skye WatersonI think it's.
Skye WatersonIt helps, you know, when you have the research behind everything.
Skye WatersonAnd one of we're so passionate about doing that on the podcast is disseminating it in a way that makes sense to people so that they can feel a little bit more confident when they get told by somebody like, hey, there's this and there's that.
Skye WatersonNot that you should by any means, obviously, you should listen to all your doctors and people like that, but you can have a conversation.
Skye WatersonYou could say, oh, you mentioned this.
Skye WatersonThat's.
Skye WatersonI do.
Skye WatersonI know about that.
Skye WatersonI have some information about that.
Skye WatersonI think it can be really, really helpful.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah.
Kate Moore YoussefSo tell people, what's the name of the podcast?
Kate Moore YoussefI'm definitely going to be listening to this now.
Skye WatersonThank you.
Skye WatersonIt's called the ADHD Skills lab.
Skye WatersonEvery two weeks, Sarah, my producer, and I, we go through and discuss the latest research that's come out.
Skye WatersonSo we recently did an episode deep diving back into dopamine, talking about all of the different dopamines.
Skye WatersonAnd I sort of say to people, I want it to sound.
Skye WatersonIt sounds maybe a bit dull, but it's actually, you know, if you think back to if you did university, you're hanging out with, with your colleagues, you know, your friends, and just chatting about something that was really interesting to you, like, oh, did you know that that was that?
Skye WatersonAnd it's really cool that they did that, but they didn't do this thing like I was expecting.
Skye WatersonAnd, you know, we try and keep it like that.
Skye WatersonWe cover a couple of papers in a certain topic, and then on other weeks we have interviews with amazing people.
Skye WatersonWe've had on the podcast, Jeremy, the president of Chad, came on.
Skye WatersonShe talked about her experiences with ADHD, her strategies.
Skye WatersonSo we kind of keep it strategy.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd research focused, brilliant, and tell everyone where they can find you.
Kate Moore YoussefIf this type of coaching is really speaking to them, like where, how can they work with you?
Skye WatersonYeah, so you can find me@unconventionalorganization.com.
Skye Watersonand yeah, unconventional organization is where you can find the podcast.
Skye WatersonIt's where you can find a ton of free articles that I've written that go through some of that research and some of those strategies, and you can also join our community if you want to.
Kate Moore YoussefFantastic.
Kate Moore YoussefWell, skye, it's been an absolute pleasure.
Kate Moore YoussefI'm going to let you go now.
Kate Moore YoussefIt's nearly 05:00 a.m.
Kate Moore Youssefgot to get to work.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah, you can go and have, maybe go and have, have a coffee or whatever you do.
Skye WatersonYes.
Kate Moore YoussefYeah.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd I just want to thank you so much for being here and sharing all your insights and expertise, because I think for people to understand their productivity and to remove the shame around what works for them and how they work.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd hopefully, like you say, just like we can be more effortlessly in flow, we can be more balanced.
Kate Moore YoussefWe can find that sweet spot and succeed.
Kate Moore YoussefLike, we just want to see people with ADHD flourish, thrive, succeeded, grow, expand, and have an awareness of our challenges, but not be completely debilitated by them, it's all about seeing them, recognizing them, and then working with them and finding solutions.
Kate Moore YoussefAnd that is how I love to work.
Kate Moore YoussefSo I'm really, really happy to have brought you onto the podcast today.
Skye WatersonYeah, well, thanks for having me.
Skye WatersonI've always been listening and following you, so I was really excited to come on.
Skye WatersonSo thank you so much.
Kate Moore YoussefIf you've enjoyed today's episode, I invite you to check out my brand new subscription podcast called the Toolkit.
Kate Moore YoussefNow this is where I'm going to be opening up my entire library, my vault of information from over the years, my workshops, webinars and courses, my conversations with experts about hormones, nutrition, lifestyle and bringing brand new, up to date content from global experts.
Kate Moore YoussefThis is going to be an amazing resource for you, to support you and guide you even more on more niche topics and conversations so you can really thrive and learn to live your best life with ADHD.
Kate Moore YoussefI'm so excited about this.
Kate Moore YoussefIt's the toolkit on Apple Podcast.
Kate Moore YoussefYou get a free trial.
Kate Moore YoussefReally good to see you there.