Kate Moore Youssef

Welcome to the ADHD Women's Wellbeing podcast.

Kate Moore Youssef

I'm Kate Moore Youssef and I'm a wellbeing and lifestyle coach, EfT practitioner, mum to four kids and passionate about helping more women to understand and accept their amazing ADHD brains.

Kate Moore Youssef

After speaking to many women just like me, and probably you, I know there is a need for more health and lifestyle support for women newly diagnosed with ADHD.

Kate Moore Youssef

In these conversations, you'll learn from insightful guests, hear new findings and discover powerful perspectives and lifestyle tools to enable you to live your most fulfilled, calm and purposeful life wherever you are on your ADHD journey.

Kate Moore Youssef

Here's today's episode.

Kate Moore Youssef

Today, I'm absolutely delighted to bring to you a guest all the way from New Zealand.

Kate Moore Youssef

It's four in the morning for her.

Kate Moore Youssef

Her name is Skye Waterson.

Kate Moore Youssef

Now, Sky is a founder of unconventional organization.

Kate Moore Youssef

Skye's a former academic with over seven years of experience working in adult education.

Kate Moore Youssef

Skye was diagnosed with ADHD at the start of her doctorate and since then, she has dedicated time researching, disseminating ADHD studies, focusing on supporting others with strength based, neurodiverse friendly tools and systems, which I now believe you've put into your fantastic business, your coaching business, and we will discuss all of that.

Kate Moore Youssef

So, Skye, welcome to the podcast.

Kate Moore Youssef

I'm very excited to dive in and get talking.

Skye Waterson

Thanks.

Skye Waterson

It's wonderful to be here and I think I'm probably better equipped for the 04:00 a.m.

Skye Waterson

because we were just talking about it.

Skye Waterson

This is when I usually start working because I work with so many wonderful people in the UK and the US primarily.

Skye Waterson

But I live in New Zealand.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah, I mean, the fact that we were just discussing, I was saying there's no way I could do four in the morning.

Kate Moore Youssef

And you were saying, you know, 05:00 p.m.

Kate Moore Youssef

for you is like really difficult.

Kate Moore Youssef

So it just shows, doesn't it, how unique we all are with our neurodiverse brains and we.

Kate Moore Youssef

It actually just highlights the power of acknowledging what works best for us.

Kate Moore Youssef

Where we do those sprints, where we can be productive, where we know when that productive couple of hours are and when we need to sort of take some time out and rest.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah, I mean, first of all, let's backtrack a little bit.

Kate Moore Youssef

And what really intrigued me is that you said you found out that you were ADHD while you were in the process of doing your PhD.

Kate Moore Youssef

Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Skye Waterson

Yeah, so basically I'd gone through my masters and, you know, my grades had been good.

Skye Waterson

But I had felt like I was burning out.

Skye Waterson

You know, I'd actually taken some time off between my master's and my PhD, and it just felt like there was something going on.

Skye Waterson

Some days I was great.

Skye Waterson

Some days I was struggling.

Skye Waterson

There were some areas, you know, with grammar, which I thought maybe I had dyslexia because there were some areas where I was just missing things.

Skye Waterson

So I thought, okay, well, let's go to the inclusive learning center, and maybe they'll diagnose me with dyslexia and we'll find out what it is.

Skye Waterson

So I went in there all scared.

Skye Waterson

I didn't know anything.

Skye Waterson

Despite teaching development in kids, it wasn't a huge.

Skye Waterson

We knew about autism in kids, but that was kind of it.

Skye Waterson

And so I went in, and, yeah, we did a couple of days of different testing, and at the end, they said, okay, we don't know about the dyslexia, but we think you should get your formal diagnosis with ADHD.

Skye Waterson

And I went, I'm sorry, what?

Skye Waterson

And this was right at the beginning of my PhD.

Skye Waterson

It was a really huge moment because I had sort of chosen my professor, I'd chosen my topic, and then everything changed.

Kate Moore Youssef

Wow.

Kate Moore Youssef

I mean, to have got to that point in academia, and like you said, there was sort of certain things that maybe you'd kind of, like, picked up some red flags, but you just kind of persisted.

Kate Moore Youssef

I wondered when you had then had that kind of, like, realization about the ADHD, did you look back and realize how much effort and how exhausting it must have been being in this academic world?

Kate Moore Youssef

Probably having to work twice, three times as hard as other people.

Skye Waterson

Yeah.

Skye Waterson

Well, I sort of realized that, you know, I knew that academia, you know, especially when I first started, I was looking into, am I a clinical psychologist?

Skye Waterson

Am I a lawyer?

Skye Waterson

I was doing all of those, you know, very competitive tracks.

Skye Waterson

And so everyone was competing.

Skye Waterson

Everyone was competing to get into these small things and that kind of stuff.

Skye Waterson

And then I think what happened was I went the more, you know, general psychology academic route, and I still was just working at that level and assuming that kind of everyone else was.

Skye Waterson

And the truth was that that wasn't true.

Skye Waterson

Like, other people were doing other things.

Skye Waterson

But, you know, for me, I was bringing all of this, and one of the things that I had once I got diagnosed was I could finally understand, okay, this strategy that I'd had, this was why I was doing it.

Skye Waterson

This strategy I'd had, I was just doing that because it worked one time.

Skye Waterson

It had nothing to do with ADHD.

Skye Waterson

So I could actually put down some of the unnecessary stuff that I'd accumulated.

Skye Waterson

I was.

Skye Waterson

It was very much like, you know, throw some salt over your shoulder.

Skye Waterson

It works.

Skye Waterson

One time.

Skye Waterson

Oh, that must be it.

Skye Waterson

You know, not really actually having any reasons because I didn't know.

Skye Waterson

I just knew that.

Skye Waterson

I just knew that I was, like, in what I would now consider to be a bit of an ADHD burnout cycle.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

I mean, I'm more interested to know what attracted you to the academic world and to wanting to do the PhD.

Skye Waterson

It was largely because I could not imagine myself in a job.

Skye Waterson

And I also think maybe I had the dubious benefit of graduating during the recession the first time.

Skye Waterson

So I graduated at a time when it was very, very hard to get a job.

Skye Waterson

So there was this huge barrier to entry, of actually, like, everyone was applying for jobs and it was very difficult to go through that job process.

Skye Waterson

But even when I did and I got, you know, through and I was doing interviews and things like that, I never felt comfortable with the idea of, like, picking one thing and doing that.

Skye Waterson

Like, if you look at my academic, especially pre ADHD career, I was like, going psychology, sociology, public health, population health, you know, and so there was this feeling of like, maybe I just haven't found the topic that's gonna light me up for the rest of my life.

Skye Waterson

Ironically, that was true.

Skye Waterson

Now, I found this.

Skye Waterson

But the ADHD side, it did leave me kind of wanting to just keep exploring, especially in my twenties.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah, I mean, what I can hear is that there was all these little clues and that kind of questioning of, like, why can't I just find that thing that just interests me and I can just stay interested and do what?

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, you know, normal.

Kate Moore Youssef

I'm doing inverted commas, neurotypical people do, and they find the one thing and then they just focus on that and then.

Kate Moore Youssef

But I think actually, academia is a very ADHD, a line of work to go into because we love research.

Kate Moore Youssef

We can uncover new things, our curiosity, our hyper focus.

Kate Moore Youssef

You know, on the flip side, it can be very difficult.

Kate Moore Youssef

There's a huge amount of burnout.

Kate Moore Youssef

I see this in hearing from a lot of people who have done PhDs and masters and worked in sort of research or doctorates, and there is that sort of burnout.

Kate Moore Youssef

But when we understand our ADHD and we understand the way our brains work, then we can work in a way that suits us.

Kate Moore Youssef

And this.

Kate Moore Youssef

What sort of brings me to my next question is that it seems that you really have a passion for helping people understand their productivity and get the best out of their ADHD productivity because we want to dispel these myths and these stigmas of, oh, we're not productive.

Kate Moore Youssef

We can't get things done.

Kate Moore Youssef

We're hugely disorganized.

Kate Moore Youssef

And, yes, there obviously is a huge amount of that because we have not understood our brains and we've been fed a huge amount of negative beliefs about ourselves and which, you know, if we've never had an understanding, we believe those.

Kate Moore Youssef

And then it's just a kind of like a snowball effect.

Kate Moore Youssef

But when we're able to get that awareness of the ADHD and go, oh, okay, so I'm productive, but I'm just not productive in a way that other people are productive.

Kate Moore Youssef

And we let go of that shame, and we embrace that.

Kate Moore Youssef

I love.

Kate Moore Youssef

I really love to be able to help people with that and see that and recognize that.

Kate Moore Youssef

Tell me a little bit about, is that, like, a bit of a cornerstone of your business and is that passion of yours?

Skye Waterson

Yeah, 100%.

Skye Waterson

You know, often what I want people to know is that it doesn't have to be.

Skye Waterson

Everything is being pushed up the hill all the time.

Skye Waterson

That feeling like you're just pushing, you wake up and even before you get out of bed, like, the.

Skye Waterson

Getting out of bed feels hard.

Skye Waterson

Everything feels hard.

Skye Waterson

One of the things that I've learned and I've studied and worked with people on is that we can create these kinds of effortlessly balanced days where things just flow.

Skye Waterson

They feel like, oh, and I'm getting up, and I'm using this strategy and this dopamine here, and this is organized in the way that works for my brain, and now I'm getting some stuff done.

Skye Waterson

And that didn't feel bad, actually, that felt okay.

Skye Waterson

And so you're not fighting your internal adhd ness the whole day, getting to the end of it, being super exhausted, bedtime procrastination, not getting enough sleep, starting again the next day, we can tip the scales in the opposite direction.

Kate Moore Youssef

I love that this effortlessly balanced way, because I believe that when we've been diagnosed later on in life, we, our nervous systems have just got used to working in this way where everything feels stressful and anxiety inducing and we don't know what life feels like when things feel like, you say, effortlessly balanced and easy and in flow, because we've always been pushing ourselves up, up that hill.

Kate Moore Youssef

And then we can just make a choice.

Kate Moore Youssef

We can just go, actually, it's okay for me to do things differently and do well doing that.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, when we are doing things well and we are being successful and things are flowing.

Kate Moore Youssef

There's a voice in the back of our head going, well, this is you.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like this.

Kate Moore Youssef

Something's gonna change.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, something's gonna blow up here because.

Skye Waterson

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

And that, again, in, like, our nervous system is like, well, life feels good.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I feel like I'm kind of, like, leaning into what feels good to me.

Kate Moore Youssef

But why should it be this easy when my whole life it hasn't been easy?

Kate Moore Youssef

And that takes a lot of getting used to.

Kate Moore Youssef

I mean, for me, I'm still like that.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, I'm like, how do I do?

Kate Moore Youssef

This is my job.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, is this a real job?

Skye Waterson

Because when I tell people what my.

Kate Moore Youssef

Job is, yeah, I may.

Kate Moore Youssef

I've made up my title and what I do because it doesn't really exist.

Kate Moore Youssef

So tell me a little bit about when people are coming to you and they're saying, I've got a project and I have something big that I want to complete, but I just don't know how to get from a to z because all those little things in between are just so terrifying and overwhelming.

Kate Moore Youssef

But I just don't think I've got it in me.

Kate Moore Youssef

I don't think I've got that capability.

Skye Waterson

Yeah, well, you know, one of the things that we talk about is that project design or goal setting, these kinds of things, they are as much of an ADHD struggle as anything else.

Skye Waterson

People often say, like, you need to work towards the goal.

Skye Waterson

That's the ADHD struggle.

Skye Waterson

But actually, when you look at time blindness, when you look at working memory, even setting the goal is a struggle in itself.

Skye Waterson

So the first thing that we would do is actually take you back five years ago and say, where were you and what were you doing?

Skye Waterson

Where are you now?

Skye Waterson

Trying to get a sense for you of how time works.

Skye Waterson

Kind of like even place you in time and from there kind of go, okay, you didn't know anything about ADHD five years ago.

Skye Waterson

Like, this is your life.

Skye Waterson

This is where you were, and look where you are now.

Skye Waterson

That's really cool.

Skye Waterson

Kind of get a little bit of that positive energy going, and then from there go, okay, now, what is your project?

Skye Waterson

What is your goal?

Skye Waterson

And often that helps people to really see how time could work both positively and negatively.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah, I think that's really powerful for people, especially with ADHD, to be able to see how far they've come because we're so focused on all the things that we perceive that we can't do properly or can't do well or where we have that sort of deficit in.

Kate Moore Youssef

And actually to be able to say, well, that version of you five years ago had no awareness and look how much awareness that you have now, and look what you are considering and look what you are thinking of taking on.

Kate Moore Youssef

And we just think, well, if that's where we are right now, let's have a little think about where we're going to be in a few years time, that growth.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I think focusing on that, but I mean, I go back all the time to even myself now and I have a huge amount of self belief than I used to.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, there's no way the version of me five years ago would have envisioned myself where I am right now, doing what I'm doing.

Skye Waterson

Oh, same.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I, I feel sad for that version of me because I genuinely didn't think I had it in me to be able to first of all, like, stay with something for this long.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, the podcast has been going for two and a half years to stick at something, to not get bored.

Skye Waterson

Congratulations.

Kate Moore Youssef

Thank you.

Kate Moore Youssef

But also the project, you know, the things behind it, I didn't know if I had.

Kate Moore Youssef

And thankfully I've been able to lean into support and delegate and everything.

Kate Moore Youssef

But is this where you come in when people are coming to you and they are desperate to make change and they're desperate to fulfil their potential?

Kate Moore Youssef

Would you say that sometimes that barrier that block is their self belief, that they can take a project from the beginning to the end?

Skye Waterson

I think it's really tough.

Skye Waterson

I mean, it's very hard to bring self belief to somebody if they don't have it.

Skye Waterson

The ways that I've really been able to do it is one talking about what they've already done to give them a sense that they have achieved in the past and they can do it again.

Skye Waterson

The other one is trying to share the fact that I have ADHD, the community has ADHD, what other people have done.

Skye Waterson

We have a channel dedicated to what we call small win celebrations.

Skye Waterson

Every time somebody has a win, they share it there to build up everyone's confidence in having these wins.

Skye Waterson

But also, sometimes you do have to just say like, okay, this is why we're doing things.

Skye Waterson

It's kind of like, you know, coaching can kind of feel like you're doing a magic trick, but you're going to show them exactly how it's being done.

Skye Waterson

You know, like, okay, I know that you've done this before and it didn't work and that was really frustrating, but we're going to actually break down your tasks using an AI.

Skye Waterson

I use goblin tools.

Skye Waterson

We're going to use that to kind of break down your tasks.

Skye Waterson

So we have something that's doing the working memory for us and then we're going to check that and then from there we're going to pick one and we're going to set it up in a specific kind of way and so on and so on.

Skye Waterson

And so that kind of thing I find explaining the executive functioning and the reasoning behind everything that's happening while it's happening gives people a lot more confidence because I don't want them to be confident in me, I want them to be confident in themselves.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

And you mentioned using goblet.

Kate Moore Youssef

Now, I've not used it, but I know here in the UK it's available as part of access to work.

Kate Moore Youssef

Oh, really?

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah, I'm almost sure it is.

Kate Moore Youssef

It's an option that's cool because it.

Skye Waterson

Is free to get, but it might be a paid version.

Kate Moore Youssef

Maybe it's a paid version or maybe it's something else, I'm not sure.

Kate Moore Youssef

But I just wondered what your thoughts were for using AI and the tools and using that as kind of like part of our executive functioning.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I know that Doctor Tamborde, Laura Raisier, who wrote the brilliant book your brain's not broken, one of her concepts is borrowing someone else's executive functioning.

Kate Moore Youssef

And when I heard that concept, I was like, oh my God, that's amazing.

Kate Moore Youssef

So someone can borrow my creativity and my kind of, like, I don't know, hyper focus and curiosity and then I can borrow someone else's executive functioning and, you know, processing or whatever, but using AI, I'm hearing more and more that a lot of people who are a bit more savvy with tech are using it and having great success.

Kate Moore Youssef

I just wondered what your thoughts were.

Skye Waterson

Yeah, well, yeah, I'm a big fan of using any of the tools we use.

Skye Waterson

You know, we'll use Miro, we'll use, which is a digital whiteboarding system, we'll use AI.

Skye Waterson

Goblin tools is particularly helpful, specifically, you know, designed for ADHD in that way, but it's really about knowing how to use it and when to use it.

Skye Waterson

You know, a lot of times people will come to me sort of overburdened with apps.

Skye Waterson

They'll have kind of like apps coming out of every little, like, nook and cranny.

Skye Waterson

They'll be like, these are the five journals.

Skye Waterson

This is the one for this day.

Skye Waterson

This is the one for that day.

Skye Waterson

And this is my app that I half use and I didn't use anymore.

Skye Waterson

And so one of the things we first have to do is we have to kind of clear away a lot of the stuff because, you know, I have this as well, and I have to be very strict with myself around.

Skye Waterson

Like, you don't just get to start a new app because somebody mentioned it, so easy to do.

Skye Waterson

And, you know, there is that burst of dopamine from starting a new thing, and it's clear, so there's no way to mess it up, you know, yet.

Skye Waterson

But we teach systems for how to build it because otherwise it can just become another thing that's kind of like, in the way.

Kate Moore Youssef

Totally.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I'm so glad that you said that because, you know, as a podcast, I get a lot of people who are creating ADHD tools, systems, AI, you know, apps and all of that, and they always want to kind of come on the podcast or they want me to talk about it.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I actually, for me, the way my brain works.

Kate Moore Youssef

And again, because we're all very different and unique, that I really just need simplicity.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I have been that person that has five different journals and think, right, I'm gonna have a journal for like, just, you know, brainstorming.

Kate Moore Youssef

They're gonna have a journal for this journal for that.

Kate Moore Youssef

And then I forget which journal is which, and then I lose a journal.

Kate Moore Youssef

And so for me, the consistency that's worked for me is using my notes, sending myself text messages, and my alarm on my phone, like reminders constantly.

Kate Moore Youssef

So everything's kinda of on my phone, because there's only so many apps we can all have on our phone, and it's contributing to the burnout and the overwhelm, and simplifying our systems and simplifying the way we work, for sure, for many people, is the way we can be more productive, I think.

Skye Waterson

Yeah, I've seen people do amazing things by simplifying their systems, and I've seen people close million dollar deals.

Skye Waterson

Some of my clients with their Google Doc, it's really amazing.

Skye Waterson

I see us as more of tech minimalists because, you know, it can be very high tech, but it's about integration.

Skye Waterson

But a lot of that is about supporting working memory, especially when you're in that capture phase of organization.

Skye Waterson

And this is actually something we talk about once we get into the depths of those big projects, we have to have an organizational system.

Skye Waterson

And so there's sort of three phases.

Skye Waterson

There's sort of the capture phase, the prioritization phase, and the scheduling phase.

Skye Waterson

And you sort of have to go through these three phases of organization.

Skye Waterson

And sometimes, often those three phases need three different things, but they have to be super integrated and at the capture phase, you know yourself and you'll have this experience if you have ADHD and you're like, oh, I've got to remember that.

Skye Waterson

Great.

Skye Waterson

You have one click to write that down before it's gone.

Skye Waterson

If you have to open something, open something else, you're not going to remember that and then you're never going to write it down again because your brain knows you're never going to remember it, so you're just going to put it somewhere else.

Skye Waterson

You put it in your notes app anyway.

Skye Waterson

So that's often how we end up with so many journals.

Skye Waterson

It's like the one we're supposed to use and then the one we actually use because our working memory doesn't let us get to the one we're supposed to use.

Kate Moore Youssef

Correct.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

I mean, one of my fun games is going through my notes app and going through things that I've written on a dog walk or like when I've just got out the shower and then written it going, I will definitely look at that tomorrow.

Kate Moore Youssef

Then obviously I don't.

Kate Moore Youssef

And so I find, like, ideas for workshops, ideas for podcast episodes, for, you know, courses, and I'm like, oh, how did I, how did I know that?

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, that, what a great idea.

Kate Moore Youssef

And obviously it's just totally gone, but at least I know that it's there and it's not in five different journals.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I love what you said then about, like, how you've seen people become, you know, hugely successful because we mustn't forget that when we've got ADHD, there's a very high chance there's dyslexia going on.

Kate Moore Youssef

This dyscalculia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia.

Kate Moore Youssef

There's something else going on alongside the ADHD and we feel very limited when we have all these ideas in our head.

Kate Moore Youssef

But then putting it out on it in a presentation, on paper, in a book, in academia, all of that, it can make us feel less than and it can make us feel stupid that, why can't I work out that presentation deck?

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, why can't I do that thing wherever moving images?

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, I have that with social media that I see a lot of people doing these cool memes and reels and all of that, and I'm still kind of stuck about five years ago.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, literally, does it have the right sound?

Kate Moore Youssef

Does the writing look, you know, correct?

Kate Moore Youssef

And that's kind of the way I am.

Kate Moore Youssef

But it is what it is and we just have to work with what we've got, but hopefully kind of growing a little bit at the same time.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I think my question really is when people come to you and they're saying, I have this idea, I have this potential, I want to do this big project, but my brain just likes simple.

Kate Moore Youssef

My brain just needs to be able to know that I'm not going to get distracted and I'm not going to get lost in a hyper focused tunnel somewhere else.

Kate Moore Youssef

How do we bring ourselves back so we can complete that task?

Skye Waterson

Yeah, I think that's a really great thing.

Skye Waterson

And this is something I actually learned before I got diagnosed because I had to write theses.

Skye Waterson

And, you know, I'm not a natural writer.

Skye Waterson

People are really surprised because my articles are the thing that I'm often most known for.

Skye Waterson

A lot of it has to do with, again, it's that flow.

Skye Waterson

You want that effortless flow.

Skye Waterson

So it's, you know, often it's about, okay, you need to get started on something.

Skye Waterson

There's ways we can help you with that.

Skye Waterson

There's like, you know, start by rewarding yourself just for sitting down.

Skye Waterson

Start by, you know, doing something and then turn down the dial on that distraction.

Skye Waterson

Don't turn it from like, I'm on social media to I'm doing nothing.

Skye Waterson

Turn it down to, like, podcast music, and then write down exactly what you're going to get done during that time.

Skye Waterson

So we have a whole process on that.

Skye Waterson

If you're interested, you can read my article on the distraction dial where we talk about it a little bit.

Skye Waterson

But then once you're actually starting, if that feels difficult, then often it's like you said, it's about going, okay, maybe I'm not the kind of person who's going to start by writing.

Skye Waterson

Maybe I need to draw diagrams.

Skye Waterson

Maybe I need to talk.

Skye Waterson

There's amazing voice to texts all over the place now that you can use.

Skye Waterson

The best one is just Google Siri, that kind of thing.

Skye Waterson

They do voice to text now, you know, so that can be helpful.

Skye Waterson

Talk and walk, you know, so there's different ways that you can get the information down, especially in that initial capture stage.

Skye Waterson

And then once you have it, you can do it.

Skye Waterson

And I am.

Skye Waterson

I've written a thesis and I have done like the most terrible drafts, you know, just going to a coffee shop and writing by hand, even though I then had to hand type it all to the computer because that was just, was the best way to get it down.

Skye Waterson

And so, you know, we are all different.

Skye Waterson

And I think you're totally right.

Skye Waterson

I think one of the things we'll probably find in the future is that this is huge.

Skye Waterson

Unknown.

Skye Waterson

Other diagnoses, dyslexia, dysgraphia, they don't get diagnosed, but they actually do have a big impact on people's lives when they're neurodiverse, because we do tend to have this cloud of things around us.

Kate Moore Youssef

Totally.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

I mean, I know for sure that I have other things going on.

Kate Moore Youssef

Maybe.

Kate Moore Youssef

Definitely dyscalculia.

Kate Moore Youssef

Definitely dyspraxia.

Skye Waterson

Same.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Kate Moore Youssef

I just.

Kate Moore Youssef

I would say dyslexia more.

Kate Moore Youssef

I'm noticing it as I get older, which is really weird because I never really suspected it, but I'm really noticing certain things.

Kate Moore Youssef

Maybe it's just because I'm more educated and aware and I can see the nuances of how it shows up.

Kate Moore Youssef

And it's not just, you know, difficulty in reading or writing or spelling or anything like that.

Kate Moore Youssef

So, yeah, I think it's a matter of being able to know that when we have been conditioned by the education system, and the education system says, you have to write an essay like this, and it has to.

Kate Moore Youssef

You have to have sat down and written it using this and using that and doing this and not doing that.

Kate Moore Youssef

So we kind of grow up as adults going, well, if I do it like that, that's wrong, and I need to get permission to do it like this, and if I don't do it like that, then I'm going to be cheating.

Kate Moore Youssef

And it's a mentality that so many of us are stuck with.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I actually was on a, like a Facebook post, someone was asking about writing with ADHD, writing a book with ADHD, and this person was almost asking for approval of the, of the, the group, saying, I actually do really well when I do the voice to text and I just talk.

Kate Moore Youssef

And she said, but am I cheating?

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, is that.

Kate Moore Youssef

I'm not writing a book, am I?

Skye Waterson

Cause it doesn't feel as horribly hard as it did before.

Skye Waterson

Yeah, I sometimes, if you wanna talk about feeling a bit like this job is too easy or too good, people will come to me and they'll be like, there is no way.

Skye Waterson

I have never done this before.

Skye Waterson

It's never worked before.

Skye Waterson

And I'll just be like, okay, well, have you tried it like this?

Skye Waterson

You clearly like doing it like this.

Skye Waterson

And then within 50 minutes, they're like, well, I'm doing it.

Skye Waterson

This is amazing.

Skye Waterson

But it's just because they've like, there is this mental block around it.

Skye Waterson

And, you know, this is kind of how we have.

Skye Waterson

We have these things about a lot of things in our lives, and it is that permission.

Skye Waterson

And I have to remind myself sometimes, you know, to give myself permission to do things the less efficient way, because I think that's the problem as well.

Skye Waterson

A lot of the discussion is like, well, you type directly into a computer, you know, onto a document, because that's the most efficient way to write.

Skye Waterson

But that might not be the most efficient way to think.

Skye Waterson

So often I ask people, how do you think, if you're trying to think about something, where do you think that's where you should write?

Skye Waterson

That's where you should work on the project.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

And to move on to something I wanted to sort of close with is the pivoting of when we get the ADHD diagnosis and we've been working in an industry or we've been working in a specific career that, like you say, has been felt like a slog.

Kate Moore Youssef

It's felt hard.

Kate Moore Youssef

It hasn't had that flow, and we've had burnout and all these different things, but we've kind of stuck at it because we should inverted commas.

Kate Moore Youssef

Then we get the diagnosis, we get the awareness, we understand, and it's almost like we still need that permission to change careers, pivot, do things differently.

Kate Moore Youssef

And, you know, I presume we're working with grown adults who've got responsibilities, maybe kids, and they still kind of think, well, am I allowed, like, am I allowed to move careers?

Kate Moore Youssef

Are you noticing that a lot it with sort of pivoting or career change when people get their diagnoses?

Skye Waterson

I think a lot.

Skye Waterson

I think, you know, especially with the diagnosis, I think one of the things with ADHD, and I don't know if this, there's some qualitative evidence to indicate that this is true.

Skye Waterson

We are quite empathetic and mission driven.

Skye Waterson

If you say, and there is some more evidence to indicate that we're, they're motivated by intrinsics specifically.

Skye Waterson

So I think when we get diagnosed, it really lights a fire.

Skye Waterson

And for a lot of us, it sort of helps us to understand what is our passion, how do we actually want to work?

Skye Waterson

And sometimes that realization can move you away from the space that you were in, where you were struggling.

Skye Waterson

And sometimes we just make adjustments to what we're doing, but sometimes we have to shift altogether.

Skye Waterson

And that can be really, really difficult for the reason of, obviously, the permission.

Skye Waterson

Sometimes it's more of a sideways move, at least initially, especially if you're going to go out on your own.

Skye Waterson

That can be tough because you're going from a space where you're like, you know, you have a job, and if you say, what do you do?

Skye Waterson

You have an answer for them to somewhere where that's less the case.

Skye Waterson

And also just because the executive functioning of actually making those changes anyway.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah, absolutely.

Kate Moore Youssef

And in the fact that you were diagnosed or you had that realization, like, halfway through your PhD, and you said to me, you know, earlier, it was the hardest decision you've done to leave academia and to leave the confines of the PhD.

Kate Moore Youssef

I mean, how much kind of stress did that bring you to have to make that decision and to say, right, I've decided to walk away and set up my own business.

Skye Waterson

It was hard.

Skye Waterson

It was really hard.

Skye Waterson

It was, honestly, in the end, I think the reason I was able to do it was because it was my, the advice of my supervisor and even, you know, like, colleagues, because, you know, they said, look, the PhD, you can come back and do the PhD again.

Skye Waterson

But it was, it was tough.

Skye Waterson

I, you know, I think I'd had my, my first son about a year before, and, yeah, you got to know when you're not able to do all of the things.

Skye Waterson

And, you know, the PhD was coming down to a point where it was going to be a lot of the writing, and it was going to take a lot of the same brain space as the academics.

Skye Waterson

And I also, honestly, I wanted to come back later and do a PhD in this topic, in this thing that I had been studying, you know, my own way, doing the articles and studying it and still study it today independently.

Skye Waterson

So, yeah, it was a really hard discussion thing to do.

Skye Waterson

I haven't really talked about that much on a podcast.

Skye Waterson

I think this might be the first time.

Skye Waterson

So I'm getting a little bit emotional just having this conversation.

Skye Waterson

But it was the right thing to do, and I'm very, very happy about it.

Skye Waterson

But it was definitely, I think, an impostor syndrome moment, because it's like, you know, oh, well, you finish it and then you do everything.

Skye Waterson

But, you know, part of it is acknowledging, okay, I can't.

Skye Waterson

And this is the same thing I tell to my clients.

Skye Waterson

And, you know, ironically, it's always hard for you to do it as well.

Skye Waterson

Not everything is right now.

Skye Waterson

Everything is at, you know, you can do most of the things you want to do, hopefully at some point in your life, but you can't do everything that you want to do right now.

Skye Waterson

So it's about what is now and then what is not now.

Skye Waterson

And I ended up deciding that the PhD was not now.

Skye Waterson

And I'm very, very happy with that decision.

Skye Waterson

It's allowed me to have the focus, to really focus on this and just give it my all and grow it.

Skye Waterson

And it's been amazing.

Skye Waterson

But, yeah, it was tough.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

I mean, I can really empathize and I can see how difficult that must have been.

Kate Moore Youssef

I think it's wise words to know that, you know, we do have so much passion and we are sort of purpose driven, like you say, mission driven.

Kate Moore Youssef

And we do want to do everything but at the risk of our health.

Kate Moore Youssef

And, you know, neurodivergent burnout is very common because we do want to save the world a lot, and we do want to kind of make our mark and leave a legacy and all those things.

Kate Moore Youssef

And that's why so many people, if you look through history, there's a very high chance that many of these people who did leave a mark in the world were probably neurodivergent in some capacity.

Kate Moore Youssef

But we also have to recognize that do we want to carry on certain generational patterns that perhaps have happened in our family and recognize our mental health as, like, being probably there at the very, very top, especially when we are parents.

Kate Moore Youssef

When we are, you know, you've got very young children and, you know, as my kids get older, I want to model to them to show them that, yeah, it's good to do everything but to be a workaholic and to focus only on work and achieving and productivity and all of that.

Kate Moore Youssef

It's not the be all and end all in life, and it's good to have rest and time to recharge and have space and time out and holiday and all these different things that are so powerful for us.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I know that we actually, from the neurodivergent brain perspective, we do really, really well with rest and space and downtime and decompression because that is when things integrate and we think about things and all the cogs kind of go and things click into place.

Kate Moore Youssef

And even if we just go for a walk for an hour, we'll come back and we'll have kind of lots of solutions and lots of ideas.

Skye Waterson

Exactly.

Skye Waterson

Exactly.

Skye Waterson

And, you know, I know that, you know, ten years from now, me is going to be so happy about that decision because, you know, it's allowed me to really focus in on this and do this well.

Skye Waterson

And I'm not by any means saying I'm just doing one thing.

Skye Waterson

I have kids, there's multiple projects going on in the business.

Skye Waterson

You know, I'm not saying you should just do one thing at a time.

Skye Waterson

I think it gives you time to then you know, do this and do this really well, run unconventional organization really well, and then grow the research side, the research arm of our organization, to then hopefully, what I would like to do is start publishing papers as part of that and bring that back into the academic space in its entirety.

Skye Waterson

Like, that is the goal, what we've been talking about.

Skye Waterson

But it's those first shaky steps when you take them out of the world of what you're supposed to be doing.

Skye Waterson

And people are like, oh, how's it going?

Skye Waterson

And you have to say, oh, I chose to do something interesting.

Skye Waterson

That's something that was very difficult to do.

Kate Moore Youssef

I think the fact that you're going to focus on research will be amazing because that's what we need.

Kate Moore Youssef

We keep going back to, we don't have enough evidence.

Kate Moore Youssef

We don't have enough research.

Kate Moore Youssef

We don't know enough about, especially women with ADHD and adulthood.

Kate Moore Youssef

That is what we need to be able to remove the stigmas and say to the doctors and say to our employers and all the people that are still naysaying ADHD in adulthood and going, we have the evidence here, so the system and the world and everything has to change now because we have a better understanding.

Kate Moore Youssef

And this is not just hypothesizing.

Kate Moore Youssef

We are getting this from a very sort of evidence based level, and it's really powerful for a lot of people to say, right, okay, we get it now, and we're gonna make a change.

Skye Waterson

Yeah.

Skye Waterson

No, 100%.

Skye Waterson

I think it's.

Skye Waterson

It helps, you know, when you have the research behind everything.

Skye Waterson

And one of we're so passionate about doing that on the podcast is disseminating it in a way that makes sense to people so that they can feel a little bit more confident when they get told by somebody like, hey, there's this and there's that.

Skye Waterson

Not that you should by any means, obviously, you should listen to all your doctors and people like that, but you can have a conversation.

Skye Waterson

You could say, oh, you mentioned this.

Skye Waterson

That's.

Skye Waterson

I do.

Skye Waterson

I know about that.

Skye Waterson

I have some information about that.

Skye Waterson

I think it can be really, really helpful.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

So tell people, what's the name of the podcast?

Kate Moore Youssef

I'm definitely going to be listening to this now.

Skye Waterson

Thank you.

Skye Waterson

It's called the ADHD Skills lab.

Skye Waterson

Every two weeks, Sarah, my producer, and I, we go through and discuss the latest research that's come out.

Skye Waterson

So we recently did an episode deep diving back into dopamine, talking about all of the different dopamines.

Skye Waterson

And I sort of say to people, I want it to sound.

Skye Waterson

It sounds maybe a bit dull, but it's actually, you know, if you think back to if you did university, you're hanging out with, with your colleagues, you know, your friends, and just chatting about something that was really interesting to you, like, oh, did you know that that was that?

Skye Waterson

And it's really cool that they did that, but they didn't do this thing like I was expecting.

Skye Waterson

And, you know, we try and keep it like that.

Skye Waterson

We cover a couple of papers in a certain topic, and then on other weeks we have interviews with amazing people.

Skye Waterson

We've had on the podcast, Jeremy, the president of Chad, came on.

Skye Waterson

She talked about her experiences with ADHD, her strategies.

Skye Waterson

So we kind of keep it strategy.

Kate Moore Youssef

And research focused, brilliant, and tell everyone where they can find you.

Kate Moore Youssef

If this type of coaching is really speaking to them, like where, how can they work with you?

Skye Waterson

Yeah, so you can find me@unconventionalorganization.com.

Skye Waterson

and yeah, unconventional organization is where you can find the podcast.

Skye Waterson

It's where you can find a ton of free articles that I've written that go through some of that research and some of those strategies, and you can also join our community if you want to.

Kate Moore Youssef

Fantastic.

Kate Moore Youssef

Well, skye, it's been an absolute pleasure.

Kate Moore Youssef

I'm going to let you go now.

Kate Moore Youssef

It's nearly 05:00 a.m.

Kate Moore Youssef

got to get to work.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah, you can go and have, maybe go and have, have a coffee or whatever you do.

Skye Waterson

Yes.

Kate Moore Youssef

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef

And I just want to thank you so much for being here and sharing all your insights and expertise, because I think for people to understand their productivity and to remove the shame around what works for them and how they work.

Kate Moore Youssef

And hopefully, like you say, just like we can be more effortlessly in flow, we can be more balanced.

Kate Moore Youssef

We can find that sweet spot and succeed.

Kate Moore Youssef

Like, we just want to see people with ADHD flourish, thrive, succeeded, grow, expand, and have an awareness of our challenges, but not be completely debilitated by them, it's all about seeing them, recognizing them, and then working with them and finding solutions.

Kate Moore Youssef

And that is how I love to work.

Kate Moore Youssef

So I'm really, really happy to have brought you onto the podcast today.

Skye Waterson

Yeah, well, thanks for having me.

Skye Waterson

I've always been listening and following you, so I was really excited to come on.

Skye Waterson

So thank you so much.

Kate Moore Youssef

If you've enjoyed today's episode, I invite you to check out my brand new subscription podcast called the Toolkit.

Kate Moore Youssef

Now this is where I'm going to be opening up my entire library, my vault of information from over the years, my workshops, webinars and courses, my conversations with experts about hormones, nutrition, lifestyle and bringing brand new, up to date content from global experts.

Kate Moore Youssef

This is going to be an amazing resource for you, to support you and guide you even more on more niche topics and conversations so you can really thrive and learn to live your best life with ADHD.

Kate Moore Youssef

I'm so excited about this.

Kate Moore Youssef

It's the toolkit on Apple Podcast.

Kate Moore Youssef

You get a free trial.

Kate Moore Youssef

Really good to see you there.