1 00:00:00,090 --> 00:00:03,720 I did draw up a little bit from my childhood. 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:07,770 And I was thinking about, I was thinking about this. 3 00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,930 I was kind of prepared to answer this question and 4 00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:11,550 I didn't really know which way I wanted to go 5 00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:15,390 with it because there are things that I definitely pulled 6 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:18,900 from my childhood and I put into that book. But 7 00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:24,120 for the most part, I, I wrote about the life 8 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:31,050 that I may have wanted at that time when surviving 9 00:00:31,050 --> 00:00:33,660 the Abuse. So I was acknowledging that the abuse was 10 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:37,710 there, but, but I, I wish that it may have 11 00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:39,290 gotten on a little differently. 12 00:00:40,430 --> 00:00:44,030 Hi, and welcome to Podcaster Stories each episode we'll have 13 00:00:44,030 --> 00:00:46,970 a conversation with podcasters from across the globe and share 14 00:00:46,970 --> 00:00:50,060 their story. What motivates them by the start to the 15 00:00:50,060 --> 00:00:53,750 show are the groove show. And More, we'll also talk 16 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,820 about their personal lives and some of the things that 17 00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:58,670 have happened that made them the person they are today. 18 00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:03,350 And now here's your host Danny Brown hi, and welcome 19 00:01:03,350 --> 00:01:06,080 to another episode of Podcaster. Stories where we get to 20 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,450 meet people behind the voices of the shows. We listened 21 00:01:08,450 --> 00:01:11,300 to this week's a little different and chatting with my 22 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:14,480 wife about her podcast, which is about to go through 23 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,330 a sort of a rebrand and relaunch. So it should 24 00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:19,970 be able to have a, an interesting conversation. So Jaclyn 25 00:01:19,970 --> 00:01:22,730 (Jaclyn Brown), who is the host of mental health and 26 00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:24,590 me, which was about to change. 27 00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:27,350 How about you introduce yourself and your podcast to the 28 00:01:27,350 --> 00:01:29,210 listeners? 29 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:34,730 Sure. Hi, my name is Jaclyn Brown and I host 30 00:01:34,730 --> 00:01:36,650 of the show mental health and me, or I used 31 00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:42,950 to it, it is about my, my mental health journey 32 00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:49,400 really. And it came from my blog, which I think 33 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,370 were disbanding that too. So there was a lot of 34 00:01:52,370 --> 00:01:55,100 changes that I think we will, will probably talk about 35 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:58,250 today, but, but yeah, so it's basically just my journey 36 00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:02,720 with anxiety and depression and the ups and downs with 37 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:07,790 those to a mental illnesses and how they impact me, 38 00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:11,630 how they, how my mental health impacts my family and 39 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:15,740 also how my family's mental health as well. 40 00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:17,510 I'm going to talk about my journey, but I also 41 00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:20,210 talk about there's because a three out of four of 42 00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:22,910 us have been diagnosed with a, with our own mental 43 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,970 illnesses that are similar and different all in the same. 44 00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:30,830 So, so yeah, it's, it's quite the rollercoaster of emotions 45 00:02:30,830 --> 00:02:33,080 will say, 46 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,820 And also we have three dogs, but we don't know 47 00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:37,220 what their mental health is like. So it could be 48 00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:40,100 at a higher ratio than a full year before. 49 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,870 That is true. Yeah. 50 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,970 So how did the idea for the show come about? 51 00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:47,270 You mentioned that you have a blog, which is sort 52 00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:49,640 of gone into the background so that it disappeared on 53 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,860 to the effort of concentrate on a podcast, but how 54 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,680 did the idea for the show come about? 55 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:59,410 Well, that's all thanks to you. Actually, when I, when 56 00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:02,380 I first had the idea of doing the blogs, the 57 00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:04,570 mental health and me blogs, it was because I wanted 58 00:03:04,570 --> 00:03:08,950 to write my journey and I'm really good are, are 59 00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:11,830 used to being, and I'm up and down with my 60 00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:13,600 writing skills will say, but I used to be really 61 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,870 good at writing. And so I wanted to, to write 62 00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:21,430 this blog and, and encourage other people to talk about 63 00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:24,310 their mental health as well, because there is the stigma 64 00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:26,440 and I think it's less so now, but there was 65 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:31,180 a stigma around mental health and it, you know, should 66 00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,880 it be, you know, should you go to the doctor 67 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,920 for your, your mental wellbeing? 68 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,860 Well, yes, you should. And should we be comfortable talking 69 00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:42,010 about it? Well, many of us aren't, we've got like 70 00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:44,110 a bell let's talk day, which is one day a 71 00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:46,720 year, but we should be comfortable enough to talk about 72 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:50,590 it, you know, whenever. And, and so my blog was 73 00:03:50,590 --> 00:03:53,950 like an outlet for that. And, and then one day 74 00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:56,470 you had said to me, let's you, you, you should 75 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:59,410 really turned this into a podcast and, and let me 76 00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:01,660 show you how to do that. And I thought, yeah, 77 00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:05,050 that's, that could work. That sounds really good. And I, 78 00:04:05,050 --> 00:04:08,170 and I wanted to, and so I started to do 79 00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:10,510 the podcast. I think even once we had an episode 80 00:04:10,510 --> 00:04:12,940 of you and I discussing our Mental Health and Us 81 00:04:12,940 --> 00:04:16,420 together, and then the rest was just me sort of 82 00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:21,070 talking to myself and, and that's, that would be the 83 00:04:21,070 --> 00:04:21,850 answer to your question. 84 00:04:21,850 --> 00:04:24,850 That's sort of how the show began. We'll get, we'll 85 00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:26,950 get to where it's going in front of you. I 86 00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:29,290 don't want to answer your next question's before you asked 87 00:04:29,290 --> 00:04:31,180 them, but yeah, that's that, that's how it came out. 88 00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:33,430 I started the blog and then you suggested the, the 89 00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:36,900 podcast and, and here we are. 90 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,460 And where did you find these, or do you find 91 00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:41,250 right in about your user talking about it via a 92 00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:43,380 podcast are a little bit of both 93 00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:45,660 And there are, this is difficult. There are days when 94 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,630 I find writing much easier. When I find that I 95 00:04:48,630 --> 00:04:50,520 have something to say, it's very easy for me to 96 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,670 just go and write it down. And so, so blogging 97 00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:57,210 about it can be, can be easier when I have 98 00:04:57,210 --> 00:05:01,290 something to say, I don't always have something to say. 99 00:05:01,290 --> 00:05:05,790 And so maintaining and updating a blog felt very challenging, 100 00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:09,660 especially trying to stay on topic because, you know, there 101 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:12,630 are so many aspects too, my life, not just my 102 00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:15,960 mental health. So I found, I found that to be 103 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:21,030 challenging, talking about it is, is easy when you have 104 00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,880 someone to talk to. And so I found when it 105 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,790 was you and I are having a discussion, it was, 106 00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:27,480 it was easy. 107 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,660 And it was natural recording a podcast that I was 108 00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:34,830 doing myself. It felt very unnatural and it felt forced. 109 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,830 And, and I, I mean, like, I get nervous anyways, 110 00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:40,230 even just talking to you right now, I'm there. I 111 00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:44,160 feel my nerves, but by myself, I had a, there 112 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,520 was a lot of extra pressure to, to be perfect 113 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,320 and to get it right. And what am I saying? 114 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,780 And what if I mess up and do I script 115 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:54,690 this or do I not scripted if I scripted than 116 00:05:54,690 --> 00:05:57,620 it sounds like a robot, if I don't script it, 117 00:05:57,620 --> 00:06:00,230 like what if I go way off topic? And I 118 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:02,450 forget the whole point of it. So, I mean, there 119 00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:05,390 was a lot of pressure when I was podcasting alone. 120 00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:08,300 And so I didn't S I, I didn't like it. 121 00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:11,300 I will say that. I mean, the show I liked 122 00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:14,840 what the show was about, and I liked the idea 123 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:17,900 of it, but the actual doing it was very difficult 124 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:20,510 for me. So if it's between the two, and it's 125 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,760 just me, I'm going to say I much preferred to 126 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,050 write and to speak about it, but, 127 00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:27,910 And then I think I can speak to that nervousness. 128 00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,700 I know all it will cost a, a record on, 129 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,210 on SquadCast. What is your hope is use from my 130 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:34,060 guests? And it's got a lot of video green room, 131 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,100 and you want me to kind of switch it off 132 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,990 while we are chatting with each other, even though we're 133 00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:40,210 basically next door to each other via a think of 134 00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:42,760 a wall, because I can definitely Aleut to that nervousness 135 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:43,630 you mentioned. 136 00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:46,420 Well, yeah. And, and, and we're married, so I shouldn't 137 00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:49,600 be nervous with you. And, and, and, you know, for 138 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,060 our listeners right now, we are not in the same 139 00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,070 room. We are sharing a wall, like you said, so 140 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:56,170 we can't see each other. So it would make sense 141 00:06:56,170 --> 00:06:58,030 to have the cameras on. So we can see each 142 00:06:58,030 --> 00:07:01,840 other while we were talking on our separate microphone, but 143 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,030 I, I'm happy to look at you and have this 144 00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:06,760 conversation with you. But when I turned on my camera, 145 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,950 that means that I'm going to be looking at me 146 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:11,740 and I would get distracted by me. And I behaved. 147 00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:15,460 So like, I just unprofessional will say, So it as 148 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:16,840 like, you know what? This is going to go way 149 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,690 better. If I turn off the camera, 150 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,360 I know you've mentioned, I'll say it a, your preference, 151 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:26,110 primarily for right-hand, if it wasn't a, a, co-host a 152 00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:29,740 show or a, a conversation on a podcast. So on 153 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,840 top of that, what's been some of the challenges you 154 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,180 faced early on with the show, but either from a 155 00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:36,710 technical point of view or not just getting a show 156 00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,680 off the ground, I guess. So 157 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:42,970 I listened to podcasts, obviously, not quite as much as 158 00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:46,180 you it's your business to do so, but, but I 159 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,880 do listen to, to some podcasts. And I find that 160 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:54,010 I enjoy the ones that are, you know, co-hosted, or 161 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:58,300 even if it's just one person's podcast and they're interviewing 162 00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:02,710 a guest speaker each week, I really enjoy those ones. 163 00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:05,260 And I found that when I was listening to podcasts 164 00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:07,420 that were just like one person. I mean, like the 165 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,580 occasional show was just one person is totally fine, but 166 00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:12,460 like an entire series of episodes of just one person 167 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:17,050 talking, you, you start to hear the scripts. And it 168 00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:19,420 just, it wasn't, it wasn't my thing. 169 00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:22,060 It just wasn't enjoyable. And so I didn't want to 170 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:26,350 be like that. That's, that's one of those things that, 171 00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:27,970 that when you, when you want to do something, you 172 00:08:27,970 --> 00:08:30,100 emulate the things that you like. It's the same as 173 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:32,230 when, you know, when writing a book, if you want 174 00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,450 to write a book, you tend to write in the 175 00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:36,670 genre that you like to read about it, because that, 176 00:08:36,670 --> 00:08:40,360 that's your thing. That's what, you know. So it, it, 177 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,060 it makes sense for, you know, in the, in the 178 00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:45,430 podcasting world, that's the exact same thing. And so I 179 00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:48,100 just found it really, like, those were my challenges. Like, 180 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:51,340 how do you, how do you get a podcast off 181 00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:54,810 the ground when it's just you? And you don't really 182 00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:58,970 enjoy listening to podcasts with just one person. 183 00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:02,180 So it, obviously you mentioned at the time to find 184 00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:03,650 your feet tried to find your niche. And if you, 185 00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:06,410 like, what is one of the challenges? You mentioned it 186 00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:08,270 a bit as well, that there was three of the 187 00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:11,390 four of the family, a unit suffered from some form 188 00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:14,870 of mental illness, whether it's depression or anxiety. So what 189 00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:18,770 is your podcast? Is it geared towards a family issues 190 00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:21,170 or is it geared towards a certain demographic? Who's your 191 00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:25,640 audience be for the show? 192 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:30,440 I get, I guess, anyone, anyone who suffers from mental 193 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,160 illness, I would like to gear it towards them, but 194 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:38,720 that's a very big audience. So I niche down to 195 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:42,290 a depression and more so anxiety than depression, but I 196 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:45,140 do talk and, and sort of dance the line between 197 00:09:45,140 --> 00:09:48,350 both of them and how they're both related to, to 198 00:09:48,350 --> 00:09:51,080 me and how one impacts the other, because I have 199 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:56,810 both. And, and so I would gear my, I would 200 00:09:56,810 --> 00:09:58,970 like to hear the show towards people in the same, 201 00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:02,090 same scenario, because it's, it's very, you know, like even 202 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:06,380 anxiety, you know, you suffer from anxiety and I suffered 203 00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:09,380 from anxiety and our son suffers from anxiety. 204 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:12,140 And now in between the three of us know, two 205 00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:14,450 of us who are the same and are symptoms or 206 00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:18,290 not the same and are, are triggers or not the 207 00:10:18,290 --> 00:10:21,350 same and our outbursts or not the same like that. 208 00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:24,410 So when, when we talk about it, we have very 209 00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:28,460 different things to say. And, and so I would like, 210 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:30,650 I would like to put that out there really to, 211 00:10:30,650 --> 00:10:34,880 to anyone who does not suffer from anxiety. And right 212 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,490 now, I don't think that anybody, but to S to 213 00:10:37,490 --> 00:10:39,920 anyone who doesn't think that they suffer from any sort 214 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:43,220 of mental illness, give us a Listen, because you'll get 215 00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:49,070 to see what, you know, how, how different things are 216 00:10:49,070 --> 00:10:52,040 for people who do suffer. 217 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,010 And, and so I would like to, you know, I 218 00:10:55,010 --> 00:10:58,040 I'd like to get your gear, the podcast towards those 219 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,640 people and maybe provide some information there. But I think 220 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,040 if I'm being honest, I think more people who do 221 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,500 suffer and who are finding out now that they suffer, 222 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:10,490 especially with, you know, COVID and, and people who didn't 223 00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:14,570 suffer before are definitely suffering. Now, I think that it 224 00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:17,540 would be, this would be good for them to see, 225 00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:20,810 not like it's, it's normal, it's the new normal. It 226 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:24,500 is. That's the old normal it's normal to suffer, and 227 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,840 we all suffer differently, but that doesn't make, you know, 228 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:31,130 one person, one person's symptoms or, or, you know, one 229 00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:35,180 person is anxiety worse, or are, are stronger than somebody 230 00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:37,550 else's, you know, you can't really compare is what I'm 231 00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:37,950 saying. 232 00:11:37,950 --> 00:11:42,860 So it just, yeah, just, just hear us out and 233 00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,810 here, how here, how we differ and maybe you learn 234 00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:46,490 something. 235 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,950 And I think that, that ties perfectly into a blog 236 00:11:48,950 --> 00:11:51,530 post, that your role on your mental health and maybe 237 00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:53,500 a blog or a couple of back, you think it 238 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,890 was maybe two, three years called a glass box. A, 239 00:11:56,890 --> 00:12:00,070 that was a very broad, descriptive tower of what he 240 00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:04,750 suffered from depression and anxiety feels like. And that, that 241 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,300 I know the response that you got from people either 242 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,010 won't be shared on Facebook, or get in touch with 243 00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:12,070 you via email, et cetera, people were sharing how it 244 00:12:12,070 --> 00:12:15,570 touched them, because it spoke to different and, you know, 245 00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:19,270 different aspects of mental illness. So I think that's like 246 00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:21,160 you say, it's a key point is that it may 247 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,230 be a show about mental health or a show about 248 00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:27,040 depression or a show about anxiety, but you've, you've been 249 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,720 like dealing with this four 20 plus years. 250 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:32,530 Now you bring up a wealth of experiences to, anybody 251 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:34,650 can start to tap into, or if you like. 252 00:12:34,650 --> 00:12:37,800 Yeah. And it changes to, like, if you asked me 253 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,200 20 years ago, you know, when I was just finding 254 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:44,120 out what, you know, finding out the symptoms and w 255 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:48,120 what it actually meant is very different to what I'm 256 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:52,800 suffering. Now. It doesn't, it changes it. Ah, but it 257 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:57,330 doesn't go away and it can get better. Like you 258 00:12:57,330 --> 00:12:59,190 can have your better days for sure. And you can 259 00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:01,080 have better months even, and go, yeah, I have beat 260 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,510 this. I'm doing great. And then all of a sudden 261 00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:07,110 something happens and you sync right back into that, that 262 00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:11,130 zone. And so it's, it's, it's good to know what 263 00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:14,130 your triggers are. And it's also good to be aware 264 00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:16,440 that those triggers will change. 265 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:21,000 They, they will. And, and I, I, I can talk 266 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,520 about this forever 267 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,380 Know, you mentioned the COVID earlier, and there are a 268 00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:29,220 lot more people are now realizing, or are becoming more 269 00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:32,490 aware of that, their mental health and why it's important 270 00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:35,370 to stay on top of that. If you like, what 271 00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:37,260 what's been, some of the challenges you have found both 272 00:13:37,260 --> 00:13:40,650 as the person that suffers from mental health issues and 273 00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:43,260 as a parent of a kid that also suffers from 274 00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:46,530 mental health issues during a lockdown, during a pandemic, what's 275 00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,720 been some of the challenges that you've you've had to 276 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:49,950 overcome. 277 00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:52,950 So this is interesting because if you were to ask 278 00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:55,890 me, you know, what are the challenges that I've faced, 279 00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:59,520 you know, with the lockdown and, and you know, why, 280 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:04,380 because of COVID, my anxiety has actually gotten much better 281 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,460 because a lot of my anxiety has been social related 282 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:12,480 and it's called social anxiety. And so, and you can 283 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:17,130 certainly read about it in that glass box post, but, 284 00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:21,990 but I find that when I'm around more people, I 285 00:14:21,990 --> 00:14:26,190 am way more anxious because you know, it, it it's 286 00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:28,830 my trigger, right. It's the thing that makes me paranoid. 287 00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:31,200 I'm overthinking all of the things. 288 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:35,370 And so now that I'm isolated and in lockdown, and 289 00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,830 we moved so far from everyone, we know, I mean, 290 00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:40,320 like I miss people, but I still get to call 291 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,720 them in a video chat in zoom, in whatever. So 292 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,900 I still get my social without actually having to enter 293 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:50,190 their bubble. And so I'm, I've been doing a much 294 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:53,930 better. And for the most part, you know, with lockdown, 295 00:14:53,930 --> 00:15:01,280 however, my son is different. And, and so he he's 296 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:05,840 taken quite the turn I'm over the last little while, 297 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:09,980 especially he's a very social being, and he's a very 298 00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:13,400 competitive being, but he's always been like a social kid 299 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,700 and I'm, and so he needs his classmates and he 300 00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:20,060 needs his soccer team and he needs his extra curriculars 301 00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:23,060 and he needs, he just, he needs people. 302 00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:26,960 And right now he only has our house and he 303 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:31,010 doesn't, he, he, you know, he, he doesn't go to 304 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:34,010 school, he's in online learning and he doesn't have a 305 00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:36,380 soccer team and he doesn't have the things that he 306 00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:42,320 needs for his sanity. And so Y I can see 307 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,860 it taking a toll on his mental health and, and 308 00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:50,750 it's been very difficult, difficult to, to parent I'll say, 309 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,510 like, to, to be strong for him and, and to 310 00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:57,830 coach him and to like, I always, always, always remind 311 00:15:57,830 --> 00:16:00,950 him that it's okay to feel the feelings he's feeling 312 00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:04,160 good or bad. You're allowed, you're entitled to your emotions 313 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:08,690 and to just have them, but it's, it's so hard 314 00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,870 when many of his emotions are negative. 315 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:17,240 Now, when he's like a happy kid. And it's, I'll 316 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,570 just try to answer your question. In a nutshell, it's 317 00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:22,660 very difficult. 318 00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:24,700 And it is, it's interesting. That was written on an 319 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,100 article a couple of weeks back that was on a 320 00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,950 boat, the, the, the, the physical aspects of covert and 321 00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:32,230 the long, the long covert, you know, so you may 322 00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:36,310 recover quickly from the infection, but at the long-term damage 323 00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:39,400 to say, lungs, heart, et cetera, is still to it. 324 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,470 It will be determined and what that could look like, 325 00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:43,960 but it was an interesting piece that it looked at 326 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,050 what this generation's mental health will look like. And 10 327 00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:49,390 years or 20 years time when we started to look 328 00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:52,270 back and we, we will look at generations' and impacts 329 00:16:52,270 --> 00:16:55,900 of mass effects. And the, the, the concern at the 330 00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:59,140 moment is to your point, kids that are normally social 331 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:02,320 barflies are real. And he does a social interaction. The 332 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,180 ant get not at the moment, what's the impact is 333 00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:05,800 going to be on, on them. 334 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,570 And what, what kind of adults are they going to 335 00:17:07,570 --> 00:17:10,270 become? And, you know, is that going to place a 336 00:17:10,270 --> 00:17:14,320 big set of stress on mental health resources in the 337 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,750 next 10, 15, 20 years? Yeah. 338 00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:18,820 And, you know, I'd be interested in seeing what happens 339 00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:22,420 to our other child for, for that matter. Like, our 340 00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:24,730 daughter is also very social. She is a little social 341 00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:27,940 butterfly and all always been like the popular kid in 342 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:31,300 the class. And everybody comes to her birthday parties. And, 343 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,510 but she just has been coping much, much better with 344 00:17:34,510 --> 00:17:36,850 online learning and with social distancing and with all of 345 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:41,650 that, she she's gets on a messenger kids or whatever, 346 00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:44,920 and, and Facebook's with her friends. So she still feels 347 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,980 like she is getting that social element and, and online 348 00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:51,240 learning. She turns on her camera and she's like looking 349 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,640 at all her friends. And so I feel like she's 350 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,560 in the same room with them. And so maybe it 351 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,980 hasn't been as hard on her, but who knows, like 352 00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:02,400 you said, the long-term maybe, maybe now she is doing 353 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,880 great, but who can 10, 15 years from now, she 354 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,170 might need therapy, but we don't. 355 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,620 We all right. 356 00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:12,530 But it did 10 to 15 minutes from that 10, 357 00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:15,410 15 years now will be, I don't know of interest 358 00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:17,360 and the right word, but it's not only it's something 359 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,760 that is, that will be, you know, that there was 360 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,200 a valid point. The generalist was making it by air. 361 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,380 So it will be curious to see what the impact 362 00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:27,110 that it has for sure. I think we've mentioned that 363 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:30,500 earlier that you had to block that originated, you know, 364 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,840 the, the podcasts, so to speak and you have always 365 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,810 enjoyed, right. And you were actually in a corner of 366 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,720 a publishing house for a few, a good few years, 367 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,190 and you are a published author for yourself. We have 368 00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:44,120 several young adult books too. Your name, so that we 369 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,550 could not say, what made you choose? Why a Over 370 00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:49,670 all the genres over, maybe not talking about mental health 371 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,470 and your books, for instance. 372 00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:56,840 Well, when I wrote my books, I, I started writing 373 00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:01,640 actually when I was pregnant with our first child. And, 374 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:07,010 and so I don't, I don't know. I don't really 375 00:19:07,010 --> 00:19:08,780 know what, like, I think I just like woke up 376 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:09,950 one day and it was like, I had a dream 377 00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:11,030 last night and it was good. And I think it 378 00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:12,590 would make a good book. And then I started writing 379 00:19:12,590 --> 00:19:14,270 it. I didn't stop. Like, that's kind of how I 380 00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:18,350 started writing, but, but I say like, and I said 381 00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:22,070 this earlier in the show, too, if you want to 382 00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:24,770 write a book, you right. What, you know, right. You 383 00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:27,110 write what you would want to read you, right. What 384 00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:30,080 you want. I would enjoy reading about it. And at 385 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,270 that time in my life, I read a lot, a 386 00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:33,140 young adult. 387 00:19:33,140 --> 00:19:35,600 I read all, like I read the Harry potters. I 388 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,660 read the twilights, I read, I loved young adult fiction. 389 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,300 And so it made sense for me at that time 390 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:45,140 to write young adult fiction. Now I re I read 391 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,890 my, like, my genre of choice is actually thrillers. And 392 00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:51,110 so if I were to start writing again, it would 393 00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:54,950 make sense for me to write a thriller. However, I 394 00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:57,890 don't think that's a good idea because you need, in 395 00:19:57,890 --> 00:20:00,200 order to right. A thriller, you need to know, like 396 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,560 the way the laws of, I don't know, like police 397 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,310 Academy and detective work and murder and all of these 398 00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:11,210 things that I enjoy reading about, but have no background 399 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,450 and no, I'm not going to get any experience doing 400 00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:15,400 any of those things. 401 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,120 So, yeah. So it doesn't make sense for me to 402 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:21,140 continue writing, but, but yeah, to me, that was why 403 00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:24,530 I wrote young adult fiction back. Oh gosh. Like 15 404 00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:27,710 years ago when I was reading all, all of the 405 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:29,630 young, it's been a really long time since I wrote 406 00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:33,100 Aidy. I don't know if that in perspective, but we 407 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,620 can't even remember the last time I wrote fiction. Right. 408 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:39,020 See, now I'm thinking a young adult being a part 409 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:41,600 of the, the, the police Academy, my movies made the 410 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,910 comment or a movie side than anything. Plus academies mentioned 411 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,860 it. I always thought he jumped back to it. It 412 00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,620 was a Steve Oh, Steve Guttenberg, I think was one 413 00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,810 of the main guys. And the, the movie is one 414 00:20:49,810 --> 00:20:51,970 of my favorite series is for all of the early 415 00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:53,130 ones. Anyway, 416 00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:55,200 It's funny that you think of that though. Like, I, 417 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,940 I guess I have a number of friends who've been 418 00:20:56,940 --> 00:21:00,690 through actual police Academy and it's not at all like 419 00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:04,140 that. It shows. So when I think police Academy, I 420 00:21:04,140 --> 00:21:06,480 think the real thing, right. 421 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:07,680 Well, please get out of, it was a real thing 422 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,040 was that, that I'd have to go back and watch 423 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,650 it when we had more mishaps, but than your average 424 00:21:13,650 --> 00:21:14,130 police Academy, 425 00:21:14,130 --> 00:21:17,130 It was like the three Stooges their real to, right. 426 00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:22,650 I don't know if you can call. Yeah. 427 00:21:22,650 --> 00:21:23,700 And what are your books are here to see? Because 428 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,010 you wrote, and you mentioned you are focused on young 429 00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:29,670 adults and you actually write a book series a, that 430 00:21:29,670 --> 00:21:31,830 was about a young teen who has had an abusive 431 00:21:31,830 --> 00:21:34,560 childhood and how that impacts how don't look at in 432 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,610 life. And her personality is up. How much of that 433 00:21:37,610 --> 00:21:39,780 was drawn from personal experience is because when I was 434 00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:42,720 during the, I saw some parts of thought that it 435 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:47,760 seems kind of like familiar, or if you like, 436 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:51,120 So, so that this series that you're talking about it, 437 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,510 that was the first M that was the first book 438 00:21:54,510 --> 00:21:56,790 and said of books that I ever wrote. And so 439 00:21:56,790 --> 00:22:00,420 for the record, those were never published. And they were 440 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,130 just a, that was just a project I did for 441 00:22:02,130 --> 00:22:04,380 myself and the, and I made sure to get them 442 00:22:04,380 --> 00:22:06,960 bound and look pretty so that, you know, we can 443 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,790 read them in a proper format instead of a word 444 00:22:08,790 --> 00:22:11,370 document, but, but it was not published. So it's not 445 00:22:11,370 --> 00:22:14,460 out there in the universe. But for those who, who 446 00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:17,910 did read it, I did draw up a little bit 447 00:22:17,910 --> 00:22:22,860 from my childhood. And I was thinking about, I was 448 00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:25,110 thinking about this. I was kind of prepared to answer 449 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,970 this question and I didn't really know which way I 450 00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:30,240 wanted to go with it, because there are things that 451 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,970 I definitely pulled from my childhood and I put into 452 00:22:32,970 --> 00:22:33,990 that book. 453 00:22:33,990 --> 00:22:39,720 But for the most part, I, I wrote about the 454 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:46,320 life that I may have wanted at that time when 455 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,440 surviving the Abuse. So I was acknowledging that the abuse 456 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:53,580 was there, but, but I, I wish that it may 457 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:57,780 have gone a little differently. And I guess an example 458 00:22:57,780 --> 00:23:01,320 of this is I never had a good relationship with 459 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,770 my brother as a child, as an adult. Like we 460 00:23:04,770 --> 00:23:07,200 just, we never, we were never friends. We, we never 461 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,930 had a good relationship. We never had a strong bond. 462 00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:13,830 And, and in the book that you're talking about, they 463 00:23:13,830 --> 00:23:15,990 had a very, the, the brother and sister connection was 464 00:23:15,990 --> 00:23:22,170 very strong and, and he helped her get through many 465 00:23:22,170 --> 00:23:27,540 of the, you know, ma much of the dark will 466 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,160 just say all of the dark periods. 467 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:33,060 He was there for her. And in my childhood, I 468 00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:36,630 would like, unfortunately I have to say my childhood was 469 00:23:36,630 --> 00:23:39,150 a little bit darker than that because I, I just, 470 00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:42,240 I didn't have, I didn't have that bond with my 471 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,880 brother and I didn't have someone to, you know, to, 472 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,280 to, you know, show me the Lite if you will. 473 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:50,450 So I kind of had to get there on my 474 00:23:50,450 --> 00:23:56,630 own, but I mean, I did. So I feel like 475 00:23:56,630 --> 00:23:58,790 pros and cons with the, with the, Book like, yes, 476 00:23:58,790 --> 00:24:01,220 I put some of the dark in the book, but 477 00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:05,420 I showed a different side of you, you know, in, 478 00:24:05,420 --> 00:24:08,240 in the book then what actually happened. So it's more, 479 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,340 it's more fiction than, than real. 480 00:24:10,340 --> 00:24:12,880 Just say that. 481 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,670 And then the main character. So obviously you talked about 482 00:24:15,670 --> 00:24:18,190 bonds had strengths in and that serious. And one of 483 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:20,980 the main characters a with the bond was that between 484 00:24:20,980 --> 00:24:23,560 the daughter and a mom as well, and all of 485 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:24,760 us, I know how close are you and your mom 486 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,450 are, did your mum Rita. And that she does she'll 487 00:24:28,450 --> 00:24:29,860 look back at some of the things that happened that 488 00:24:29,860 --> 00:24:32,260 she wasn't aware of her. What did your mom not 489 00:24:32,260 --> 00:24:34,540 get to read this, these books? 490 00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:37,510 My mom read them. And, and she was very proud 491 00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:40,510 of me actually for opening up in, in there. And, 492 00:24:40,510 --> 00:24:42,430 but she said it was very emotional for her. And 493 00:24:42,430 --> 00:24:43,990 it was very difficult for her to read some of 494 00:24:43,990 --> 00:24:48,460 that because of how honest it was. Now I will, 495 00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:53,920 I will say I kind of wrote the mom out 496 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,050 of the books. And that was just easier for me 497 00:24:56,050 --> 00:24:59,770 when I was writing them to say, this series is 498 00:24:59,770 --> 00:25:03,730 about this girl and her brother and how they are 499 00:25:03,730 --> 00:25:07,480 dealing with their high school relationships. And that's it. And 500 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,150 so I ended up writing the mam out of the 501 00:25:10,150 --> 00:25:12,520 Book by just saying that she worked all the time. 502 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,980 So she, she was like, she, she wasn't dead. 503 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:17,380 She was totally there, but she wasn't a part of 504 00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:20,110 the kids life because she had to work to support 505 00:25:20,110 --> 00:25:21,610 them. She had to work to get, to put a 506 00:25:21,610 --> 00:25:24,700 roof over their head. So she was like, those kids 507 00:25:24,700 --> 00:25:29,110 basically raised themselves while the mom was financing it. And, 508 00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:32,230 and that was just how I wrote the book. But 509 00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:36,070 my mom as hard of a worker as she is, 510 00:25:36,070 --> 00:25:38,200 I don't remember a time in my life when she 511 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,840 was not there for me. And I think that's very 512 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,910 different from what I portrayed in the book. And I 513 00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:47,140 made sure to tell her that afterwards, like I wrote 514 00:25:47,140 --> 00:25:49,210 her out because it was easier for me to write 515 00:25:49,210 --> 00:25:53,560 the story about the two siblings without a mother interference, 516 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,390 because that's not what the story was about. 517 00:25:55,390 --> 00:25:57,910 So it, but like I said, it in my, in 518 00:25:57,910 --> 00:26:00,940 my life, my brother and I were not close. So 519 00:26:00,940 --> 00:26:03,340 my mom and I were, and we, of course we 520 00:26:03,340 --> 00:26:04,840 had our ups and downs, but we weren't always as 521 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:09,010 close, but I don't remember her ever not being there. 522 00:26:09,010 --> 00:26:09,250 So 523 00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:10,660 You mean, so you mentioned that they are in the 524 00:26:10,660 --> 00:26:13,000 book, I'll say it at drew from some experiences, some 525 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,960 are fictional and some are how you wanted it to 526 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:21,190 happen with either, you know, the brother, sister dynamic and, 527 00:26:21,190 --> 00:26:24,130 and the, as a different dynamic where your mom, because 528 00:26:24,130 --> 00:26:26,590 you're so close to your mom now, I guess you've 529 00:26:26,590 --> 00:26:30,220 always been the sound of that. Are there any lessons 530 00:26:30,220 --> 00:26:32,650 you've learned from, you know, at that time that you 531 00:26:32,650 --> 00:26:33,860 spoke about it in the book, have you had to 532 00:26:33,860 --> 00:26:36,880 like to, to, to now and raised in your own 533 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,280 children and now that you're a mom of two Yourself, 534 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:46,350 Oh, it's a, it's funny. How could it have you 535 00:26:46,350 --> 00:26:47,880 don't even know how best to answer this, what I've 536 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:53,070 learned from my childhood and how I, how I parent 537 00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:57,300 my children. I was going to say, I learn what 538 00:26:57,300 --> 00:27:00,570 not to do things that I learned. I shouldn't say 539 00:27:00,570 --> 00:27:05,340 that because my mom was awesome, but, but I know, 540 00:27:05,340 --> 00:27:09,030 I know that I show my kids every day, every 541 00:27:09,030 --> 00:27:11,280 day, how much I love them and how much they 542 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,580 mean to me. And, and I don't know that that 543 00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:17,400 was ever shown to me as a child. Maybe that's 544 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:22,260 what I needed, but, but its definitely what I do 545 00:27:22,260 --> 00:27:23,130 for my kids. 546 00:27:23,130 --> 00:27:27,390 And you'll, you'll notice and you're, and I know you 547 00:27:27,390 --> 00:27:31,950 do this also, but anyone else who sees us in 548 00:27:31,950 --> 00:27:35,970 our home environment will notice that my son, for example, 549 00:27:35,970 --> 00:27:38,850 my daughter to do, but my son More will say, 550 00:27:38,850 --> 00:27:44,490 I love you to each of us individually 20 to 551 00:27:44,490 --> 00:27:48,450 30 times a day, no exaggeration. And every time he 552 00:27:48,450 --> 00:27:52,050 says it, we say, I love you to it. Doesn't 553 00:27:52,050 --> 00:27:55,830 we don't, I'm tired of hearing that. We respond, we 554 00:27:55,830 --> 00:27:58,170 acknowledge that. He said it and we say it back 555 00:27:58,170 --> 00:28:00,030 and he'll come in for a hug and we hug 556 00:28:00,030 --> 00:28:02,190 him, but we will stop what you're doing. And he 557 00:28:02,190 --> 00:28:03,360 gets that hug. 558 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:05,610 And, and my daughter, like I said, she does it 559 00:28:05,610 --> 00:28:07,230 too, but I think she almost does it just because 560 00:28:07,230 --> 00:28:09,870 her brother is doing it, but he, but he does, 561 00:28:09,870 --> 00:28:14,820 he go, he does this. And, and I, that I 562 00:28:14,820 --> 00:28:16,560 think, I don't know if it's something that I learned 563 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,750 to do or not to do from my own childhood, 564 00:28:18,750 --> 00:28:22,530 but I made sure to, no matter how busy I 565 00:28:22,530 --> 00:28:25,980 am, I made sure to reciprocate those hugs and those, 566 00:28:25,980 --> 00:28:28,950 I love you because I think there are super important 567 00:28:28,950 --> 00:28:31,440 and they are for sure what we eat in this 568 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,800 house. 569 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,750 And I wonder if, when I'm I know exactly what 570 00:28:35,750 --> 00:28:38,060 we mean, obviously I'm in the house too. So I 571 00:28:38,060 --> 00:28:41,300 know exactly what you mean, but I'm wondering if you 572 00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:44,690 mentioned your daughter, doesn't say it as often, even though 573 00:28:44,690 --> 00:28:47,630 we know she does love us, but I'm wondering under 574 00:28:47,630 --> 00:28:50,900 that boils back down to your point earlier that she 575 00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:54,320 has the, the, almost the physical daily interaction with our 576 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:58,390 classmates and friends, that our son doesn't. So maybe the, 577 00:28:58,390 --> 00:29:01,610 the physical interaction he needs his get in from the, 578 00:29:01,610 --> 00:29:04,340 the love and hugs that he, he initiates each day, 579 00:29:04,340 --> 00:29:06,200 but each time 580 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,900 It could be, but I know that he was like 581 00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:11,840 this even before the lockdown in, even before COVID. And 582 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,420 even when he was going to school every day in, 583 00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:17,690 in, in soccer, in his rep soccer league and doing 584 00:29:17,690 --> 00:29:19,910 that three or four times a week, like he would 585 00:29:19,910 --> 00:29:23,210 still, he still needed them to say that he loves 586 00:29:23,210 --> 00:29:24,980 us and he still needed to come in for hugs 587 00:29:24,980 --> 00:29:27,770 for no reason. And I love it, but I think 588 00:29:27,770 --> 00:29:31,730 our daughter has a little different just in that. I 589 00:29:31,730 --> 00:29:34,760 think, I think she doesn't, she doesn't need to say 590 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,670 it. She knows it. So I, and I can see 591 00:29:37,670 --> 00:29:39,980 that in her because if she ever felt unloved, we 592 00:29:39,980 --> 00:29:42,280 would know it. We would certainly, she would make sure 593 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:46,150 that we knew that she was not feeling has happier 594 00:29:46,150 --> 00:29:47,350 as loved as her brother. 595 00:29:47,350 --> 00:29:52,870 She would tell us. But, but yes, I think, I 596 00:29:52,870 --> 00:29:54,700 don't know. Maybe it could be me. It could be, 597 00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:57,190 it could be me too, because I know I'm the 598 00:29:57,190 --> 00:29:58,990 type of person that says, I love you all the 599 00:29:58,990 --> 00:30:01,330 time. And I like hearing it back. I love you. 600 00:30:01,330 --> 00:30:04,930 I love you too. I think it's important. And I 601 00:30:04,930 --> 00:30:10,870 know with my, my ex my ex partners, I can 602 00:30:10,870 --> 00:30:12,580 think of one in particular where I would say it 603 00:30:12,580 --> 00:30:14,290 and he wouldn't say it back and I'd be like, 604 00:30:14,290 --> 00:30:15,610 what's wrong? Like, don't you love me? And he was 605 00:30:15,610 --> 00:30:16,930 like, I don't feel like I need to say it. 606 00:30:16,930 --> 00:30:19,240 Like, you should just know that I do. And it's 607 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,370 true. Like, we sh we should just know this. If 608 00:30:21,370 --> 00:30:23,140 we're showing it, we don't have to say it. And 609 00:30:23,140 --> 00:30:25,990 I think that's where our daughter is, but our son 610 00:30:25,990 --> 00:30:28,540 just like me needs to say it and hear it 611 00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:28,960 back. 612 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,110 And so we give him that, that I don't think 613 00:30:32,110 --> 00:30:34,450 that it has so much to do with COVID made, 614 00:30:34,450 --> 00:30:37,690 it might be enhanced because of the lockdown, but I 615 00:30:37,690 --> 00:30:41,310 don't, I think it was it's something ingrained in us. 616 00:30:41,310 --> 00:30:43,500 It was like, it, it makes me think of the 617 00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:46,590 Alf movie when he was always singing. I love, you 618 00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:48,990 know, my dad and I love you too. How does 619 00:30:48,990 --> 00:30:51,030 that, does it want to reciprocate until near the end 620 00:30:51,030 --> 00:30:53,580 of the movie, but really this is like a life 621 00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:55,770 lesson. So know. I CA I I hear you. I, 622 00:30:55,770 --> 00:30:57,390 I loved the fact that he is like that, for 623 00:30:57,390 --> 00:31:01,440 sure. I know you mentioned that earlier that your show 624 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,440 started off as a solo podcast and it was a 625 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,410 mental health and me, but it's about to relaunch within 626 00:31:07,410 --> 00:31:10,380 the, the next few weeks, I guess, and I believe 627 00:31:10,380 --> 00:31:13,260 was going to be called Mental Health and Us where 628 00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:14,490 it's going to be a whole host a show with 629 00:31:14,490 --> 00:31:17,010 yourself and you and me, we will have guests on 630 00:31:17,010 --> 00:31:20,790 there to talk about different aspects of mental health and 631 00:31:20,790 --> 00:31:21,930 mental illness. 632 00:31:21,930 --> 00:31:24,450 So what are your goals with the show, with the 633 00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:25,740 real launch coming up and what, what do you hope 634 00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:28,050 to achieve of the show in moving forward and this 635 00:31:28,050 --> 00:31:31,260 new sort of format, if you like, 636 00:31:31,260 --> 00:31:35,460 I know I'm going to say I have similar goals 637 00:31:35,460 --> 00:31:37,860 as I did when I launched to the first time, 638 00:31:37,860 --> 00:31:42,990 except I'm hoping that it will be, I don't know. 639 00:31:42,990 --> 00:31:45,210 I want to say like less dramatic. I'm hoping it's 640 00:31:45,210 --> 00:31:47,850 more casual and, and easy going. I don't know. I 641 00:31:47,850 --> 00:31:50,100 felt like that when I first came out with it, 642 00:31:50,100 --> 00:31:52,890 just being me, it felt very like dark and I 643 00:31:52,890 --> 00:31:54,840 don't want it to be dark. I mean, like, I 644 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,050 know the things that we're talking about AR you know, 645 00:31:58,050 --> 00:32:01,020 like, you know, a mental illness, not like a mental 646 00:32:01,020 --> 00:32:03,000 health, and well-being, we're talking about mental ill. We were 647 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,570 talking about the downs of like a mental health and 648 00:32:06,570 --> 00:32:12,270 And I, it is, it is a serious topic, but 649 00:32:12,270 --> 00:32:13,920 that doesn't mean that we shouldn't talk about it. 650 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,500 And so I'm hoping to me, I don't want to 651 00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:18,510 say I'm hoping to make it fun, but I'm hoping 652 00:32:18,510 --> 00:32:22,770 it's more of an enjoyable to the listener. Who's not 653 00:32:22,770 --> 00:32:24,900 just listening to somebody come on in vent all the 654 00:32:24,900 --> 00:32:27,960 time, because that is, that can get depressing from a 655 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:32,790 listener perspective. So I'm, I'm my goal is to, to 656 00:32:32,790 --> 00:32:37,740 that, by opening the doors to more people that it 657 00:32:37,740 --> 00:32:43,910 becomes more enjoyable to listen to and more informational and 658 00:32:43,910 --> 00:32:48,250 less, I don't know, ranty. 659 00:32:48,250 --> 00:32:49,930 So it's like, almost like opera is like, you get 660 00:32:49,930 --> 00:32:51,850 a symptom, you got a symptom, you get a symptom, 661 00:32:51,850 --> 00:32:54,580 like they can do a crutch now. And I think 662 00:32:54,580 --> 00:32:56,530 that, that is to your point. I, I completely agree. 663 00:32:56,530 --> 00:32:59,470 It's I think there was, we all know that mental 664 00:32:59,470 --> 00:33:03,160 illness and mental health is a deep, heavy topic, and 665 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,650 it can be, like you said, it can be really 666 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:08,320 hard to get to talk about with the stigma that 667 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,080 surround it. So I think bring in fun and bring 668 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,030 in some sort of a, not so much energy, but 669 00:33:13,030 --> 00:33:15,790 just, Hey, we're having a normal conversation. You wouldn't feel 670 00:33:15,790 --> 00:33:18,820 bad talking about a broken arm or the fact that 671 00:33:18,820 --> 00:33:21,880 you stubbed your tour or buying your shin or whatever, 672 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,670 which is physical Wheelman. So I don't think we should 673 00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:27,250 be, you know, we shouldn't be talking to any different 674 00:33:27,250 --> 00:33:28,810 way when it comes to mental ailments either. 675 00:33:28,810 --> 00:33:30,580 I don't think yes, 676 00:33:30,580 --> 00:33:33,880 I agree. So that, I don't know if that is 677 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,830 Okay. That was, you have to, I was just hard 678 00:33:35,830 --> 00:33:38,020 to know a little value out there. You have to 679 00:33:38,020 --> 00:33:44,980 edit it up in the blooper reel. So we, we, 680 00:33:44,980 --> 00:33:49,270 we've been speaking about obviously the, the influences of your 681 00:33:49,270 --> 00:33:52,690 childhood and your, your, you know, growing up and some 682 00:33:52,690 --> 00:33:54,970 of the people in it. I think I know the 683 00:33:54,970 --> 00:33:56,350 answer to this question. I'm going to ask any of 684 00:33:56,350 --> 00:33:59,170 it. Who would it be? Your personal hero and why 685 00:33:59,170 --> 00:34:00,310 that person 686 00:34:00,310 --> 00:34:04,540 Ahhh. You totally know. Umm, and it is, it, it 687 00:34:04,540 --> 00:34:06,130 is somebody who is already talked about it. Lots of 688 00:34:06,130 --> 00:34:10,570 today. This is my hero is my mother like hands 689 00:34:10,570 --> 00:34:14,350 down the easiest choice. If you ask me to like 690 00:34:14,350 --> 00:34:16,840 pick a celebrity or somebody dead or whatever, I wouldn't 691 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,930 have any clue where to start. But like for, for 692 00:34:19,930 --> 00:34:22,750 my, my hero, I would pick my mother because she 693 00:34:22,750 --> 00:34:28,150 is the strongest person. I know she survives anything like 694 00:34:28,150 --> 00:34:32,800 anything that comes her way. She, she can survive it 695 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,090 and you know, poor girl, she broke her foot, you 696 00:34:37,090 --> 00:34:40,390 know, This week. And he has had surgery and plates 697 00:34:40,390 --> 00:34:45,160 and rods and whatever else and And and she still, 698 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,510 she is surviving. 699 00:34:46,510 --> 00:34:50,500 Like she is still going and, and she had, you 700 00:34:50,500 --> 00:34:53,140 know, she had two young sons, she had her, she 701 00:34:53,140 --> 00:34:54,310 had me and my brother and when she was really, 702 00:34:54,310 --> 00:34:57,610 really young and, and so she had to re she 703 00:34:57,610 --> 00:35:00,910 had to alter her life course because she had to, 704 00:35:00,910 --> 00:35:02,470 she was a kid when she had kids will just 705 00:35:02,470 --> 00:35:06,220 say it that way. And, and then, and she did, 706 00:35:06,220 --> 00:35:09,850 and then she had to get her education differently because 707 00:35:09,850 --> 00:35:11,530 she had kids at home. So she wasn't able to 708 00:35:11,530 --> 00:35:15,220 do things the way kids did. And, or I should 709 00:35:15,220 --> 00:35:17,740 say teens like rates, she, she had to get her 710 00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:20,710 education differently and she did it and, and then she 711 00:35:20,710 --> 00:35:22,210 got a job and then she got a better job. 712 00:35:22,210 --> 00:35:23,860 And then you get a better job in like, she 713 00:35:23,860 --> 00:35:28,000 just, she is constantly working towards something and constantly progressing. 714 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:32,050 And she's just, she's such a good role model for, 715 00:35:32,050 --> 00:35:36,280 for me. Like she, she just, she is a winner. 716 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:37,920 I know, I don't know how can better say that. 717 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:43,620 Like she never, even when times are tough, she manages 718 00:35:43,620 --> 00:35:48,000 to get through it and show me the positive outlook, 719 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,850 you know, the positive way to look at things so 720 00:35:50,850 --> 00:35:54,210 that, you know, so that I'm not always down. And, 721 00:35:54,210 --> 00:35:57,510 and, and I can, I really like, if you are 722 00:35:57,510 --> 00:36:00,030 listening, mom, I just wanted to say, you're my hero. 723 00:36:00,030 --> 00:36:01,970 And thank you. I love you. 724 00:36:01,970 --> 00:36:04,040 And, and, and you'll get a better by a bigger 725 00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,390 pot and the next book. 726 00:36:05,390 --> 00:36:08,810 Yeah. It will be the thriller tho you know that 727 00:36:08,810 --> 00:36:10,910 right. As long as you got to do the victim 728 00:36:10,910 --> 00:36:15,860 had a shower, yes. Killed off a chapter or two, 729 00:36:15,860 --> 00:36:18,500 but a bigger, bigger exactly. 730 00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:20,390 It's a Jaclyn I have really enjoyed speaking with you 731 00:36:20,390 --> 00:36:23,030 today. It's been interesting. And just being a wall away 732 00:36:23,030 --> 00:36:25,820 from you. And I want to say Chuck, because normally 733 00:36:25,820 --> 00:36:27,590 if my guess is that obviously a very different veteran 734 00:36:27,590 --> 00:36:30,620 remote from me, but I really enjoyed chatting with you 735 00:36:30,620 --> 00:36:33,860 for people that want to connect with you. You are 736 00:36:33,860 --> 00:36:37,640 listening to the podcast or even, you know, check out 737 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,680 a new project you are about to launch as well. 738 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:43,640 Where's the best place to, they can find you. 739 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,340 I w you know what, I want you to answer 740 00:36:46,340 --> 00:36:49,580 this question because we've done so many changes. I don't 741 00:36:49,580 --> 00:36:54,050 even know what my email address is anymore. So how 742 00:36:54,050 --> 00:36:56,810 about you answer this question? 743 00:36:56,810 --> 00:36:59,810 Okay. Fair enough. Nice. A nice day. Fluxion that deflection? 744 00:36:59,810 --> 00:37:02,570 That deflection that flex time. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, so 745 00:37:02,570 --> 00:37:05,330 the podcast is called Mental Health and Us, and you 746 00:37:05,330 --> 00:37:10,700 can find it@thementalhealthpodcast.ca Jaclyn a new project as a girl 747 00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:13,460 on a Book, which is a, a book review site, 748 00:37:13,460 --> 00:37:16,310 and memberships say it would just kind of cool. And 749 00:37:16,310 --> 00:37:18,680 you can find that at a Girl know, I you 750 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,660 can find it at Girl and a book.com on a 751 00:37:21,660 --> 00:37:23,930 book. Maybe check it out at the end of February 752 00:37:23,930 --> 00:37:25,100 when it's actually. 753 00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:28,220 Yes, yes. And I I'm sure I will have email 754 00:37:28,220 --> 00:37:30,350 addresses for those too, but I actually don't even know 755 00:37:30,350 --> 00:37:33,110 what their, so once we have them, we will definitely 756 00:37:33,110 --> 00:37:35,930 post them, but I will say Girl in a Book 757 00:37:35,930 --> 00:37:38,930 is correct, because I tried as a girl and a 758 00:37:38,930 --> 00:37:43,160 book, and I was disappointed. I'm a girl in a 759 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,380 book 760 00:37:45,380 --> 00:37:47,120 I have, as I say, Jaclyn thanks again for coming 761 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,100 on. I'll be sure to put the, the links to 762 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:51,260 the various sites in the podcast, in the show notes. 763 00:37:51,260 --> 00:37:52,970 So we will listen to this episode on your favorite 764 00:37:52,970 --> 00:37:55,100 podcast app, made sure to check out the show notes 765 00:37:55,100 --> 00:37:57,290 as usual as you can click straight through to them. 766 00:37:57,290 --> 00:37:59,300 So, Jacqueline, thanks again for a panel on the show 767 00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:00,020 today. 768 00:38:00,020 --> 00:38:02,180 Thank you. It's been fun. 769 00:38:02,180 --> 00:38:04,820 This has been Podcaster Stories. If you enjoyed this week's 770 00:38:04,820 --> 00:38:07,340 episode, be sure to subscribe when your favorite app, you 771 00:38:07,340 --> 00:38:09,980 can also hop over to Podcaster Stories dot com and 772 00:38:09,980 --> 00:38:11,660 get the free newsletter. So you get an episode as 773 00:38:11,660 --> 00:38:13,970 soon as it comes out until the next time take 774 00:38:13,970 --> 00:38:14,270 care.