Host: J. Rosemarie Francis

[00:00] J. Rosemarie: He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. Psalm 107 verse 29.

[00:12] J. Rosemarie: Hello, Solo Moms. How are you doing today? I just wanted to come and talk today about comfort. And finding comfort in the midst of our storm. Last week, I was busy updating the devotional, and it's now 190 pages from 150 pages. So, I’ve done a bit of work on it. While I was recording the audiobook, I realized that there were things I wanted to say that I hadn't said, and there were kind of gaps in the narrative that I wasn't comfortable with. So I went ahead and filled those gaps as best I could, explained some things. And I think now it's a well-rounded resource for Solo Moms to shift, heal, and empower themselves to reconnect or connect with their loving Father.

[01:30] J. Rosemarie: Anyway, but that's not what this episode is about. I was just trying to explain why I didn't publish last week. In this episode, I want to talk about finding comfort in our storms. And the storm could be trouble at work. It could be difficulty with a teenager, or it could be just your own personal unrest—you know, that feeling of unease. It could also be that you're plagued by certain illness, whether chronic or otherwise. And this represents a storm in your life, and you feel like a ship tossed on the ocean of life because of this situation.

[02:22] J. Rosemarie: And I want to talk about that because storm represents an uncontrollable force that we sometimes find ourselves trying desperately to navigate. And many times we want to wish it away because who wants to be in a storm, right? Who wants to be in a hurricane or a storm or something that we can't control? Unfortunately, life comes with storms. Life comes with struggles. And being humans, we can't control everything. What we can control, though, is our response to our circumstances. No matter what that circumstance is, our response we can usually control.

[03:17] J. Rosemarie: So, why do I want to talk about finding comfort in that storm? Because many times it's difficult to get out of the storm or to get over the storm. It lasts longer than we would want it to. And getting out of it takes resources we may not have. So I wanted to talk about finding comfort in that storm. Now, you may wonder, how can I find comfort when my life is in turmoil? It's a good question. And it's a fair question to ask. But in order for us to learn and grow and build that muscle, that fortitude, that strength that we need to keep navigating life, one of the keys is to develop a mindset where you find yourself realizing, recognizing, and embracing the fact that you are not in control and you're okay with that.

[04:36] J. Rosemarie: And the only reason you will be okay with not being in control—especially when life is just tossing you about—is when you are totally dependent on the omnipotent God, your Father. And I want to do a segue right here and say, this "SoloMoms! Talk" didn't start as a vehicle for me to talk about faith and God as our Father and trusting in Him. But it did start with the intent of talking about how we heal from trauma and how we get out of the cycle of single parenting. Because it's all tied together.

[05:25] J. Rosemarie: And I've talked about it before about when we are a certain way and we don't get to the root of the problems, then we carry it over into our parenting, we carry it over into new relationships... because there's anger and unforgiveness and there's pain. You know, nobody gets angry for no reason at all, I don't think. And the reason you don't forgive is because you're hurting. The hurt isn't fabricated or make-believe. Your hurt is real. And so until we heal the hurt, get healing for that hurt, then it's hard to navigate life. It's hard to focus on what's important in life. And then we bleed that hurt all over other people that we come in contact with. Unfortunately, many times that goes towards our children. The last person we want it to. Because we love our children and we've dedicated our lives and we're committed to taking care of them. But when we're overflowing with hurt and we can't navigate that hurt effectively, then it can cause others to experience hurt from our actions or inactions as a result of that hurt.

[07:05] J. Rosemarie: Hope you understand my trying to weave around this. 'Cause it's complicated. Our emotions are complicated. So I'm trying to get through this conversation as tactfully as I can with sensitivity and empathy because I've been there. I've been in this situation: panic, anger, unforgiveness, feelings of abandonment. And getting to the point where I just say, "I don't care." And the "not caring" is because I am so hurt that that hurt so scabbed over that I've developed this coldness and this indifference. But indifference is not healing. And it's gonna come back, you know?

[07:56] J. Rosemarie: So that's the main reason I parlayed into the shift, healing, and empowerment aspect of Solo Moms and pursuing this avenue of helping Solo Moms build a relationship—build a strong, healthy relationship—with their Father, my Father. Because the Lord has taken me through so much stuff. And it would be a shame if I've gotten all this goodness, all this mercy from God, and I didn't share it with you.

[08:35] J. Rosemarie: And the promise of the Father is: "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." And that's from Isaiah 43 verse 2. There are promises. There are so many promises. And God is able to keep those promises because He is the all-powerful God.

[09:05] J. Rosemarie: But getting back to the topic of comfort and finding comfort. Why do I think it's important to find comfort in storms, in our storm? I think it's important because it gives us peace. I talk about this woman [who] heard her child screaming in the night. And she went to the child's room, Samantha, and she found Samantha crying and shaking because she was convinced there was a monster under her bed. And bear with me because I'm not saying that your storm is in your imagination. Not at all. Samantha was afraid of what she perceived was under her bed. But her mom, being the loving, caring, and wise mom she was, she looked under the bed, asked the monster to just take the night off, you know. And then she went and told Samantha that the monster was gone. And Samantha curled up, put her thumb in her mouth, and curled up on her mother's lap and went straight to sleep.

[10:30] J. Rosemarie: Now, your monster is your storm. It's real and it's alive and it's probably huge, right? Having difficulty with your teenager is not a small matter because he or she needs to be understood and you need to be understood in this whole situation. Fighting with your co-parent or ex is not a small matter. It's a real storm. If you're a widow, a new widow, it's not a small matter. Those emotions you feel—not just because you've lost your partner, your spouse—but because your children have lost their father, and you have lost your dreams of having that family, that future that you hoped would last into your old age. Those are real storms that you are facing. Money trouble, rent can't be paid—all of it are storms.

[11:36] J. Rosemarie: But when you trust the Loving Savior, the Shepherd, your Shepherd, your Provider, your Jehovah Jireh... When you learn how to trust that He will help you through your storm, then you will be comforted in knowing that you have somebody more powerful than you. Someone who has control over that storm. And I can recall this story in the Bible when Jesus was asleep in the boat. And the disciples were like, you know, they were scared because the wind was threatening to destroy the boat. And there's this man sleeping who is supposed to help them. But Jesus, getting up—'cause He's in control, so He wasn't scared—and He stilled the storm. But He had the power to still the storm. But the disciples didn't realize how powerful Christ was. And so they were afraid. And He stilled their storm so that they didn't have to be afraid anymore.

[12:55] J. Rosemarie: But I want to encourage you that even if your storm isn't stilled right now, that you will find a way to develop a trust—a childlike trust like Samantha—in a God who is totally, totally in control. That you will find that comfort. And, you know, a lot of times when things happen we are like, "God, why do you allow this to happen? Why do you make this happen? Why don't you care?" He cares. Trust Him. And trust me when I tell you that I know what I'm talking about. If you listen to this SoloMoms Talk podcast... you realize that I've been through some stuff. And I'm telling you, finding that comfort, that peace, that confidence that Jesus cares... He will comfort you.

[14:10] J. Rosemarie: So my hope and prayer for you today is that you will find that comfort. Yes, I would like your storm to end. For the money to come in, or for you to build that cordial relationship with your ex or your co-parent. Or for your teenager to find a solution with you... and to be at peace with him or herself so you all can have a harmonious relationship. All of that. I hope and pray for that. But while you're going through, while you're enduring, that you will find peace and comfort in knowing that Jesus is with you. You're not alone. You're never alone. Just trust Him. Trust Him and believe Him.

[15:10] J. Rosemarie: I'm here if you want to talk. Reach out. And just let me know how I can help. And if you just want to talk or if you want answers. I don't have them all, but maybe just talking will help you. I'm J. Rosemarie Francis. And I appreciate you. I appreciate you listening. And I am so amazed at you, Solo Mom. So amazed at the work you are doing. No matter what anyone says. No matter what people say. Solo Mom, Jesus is saying today: I'll be the judge of that. Let me decide who you are. And He loves you because you're His creation. You're His masterpiece. Thank you. Take care.

[16:08] J. Rosemarie: He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.