Karolyne Roberts Audio

Speaker: [00:00:00] The Missional Life Podcast, inspiring Kingdom-minded believers around the world to live the mission of God in their lives.

Dan: All right. Welcome back to Mission Light Podcast. Today we have Caroline Robinson on the show. Caroline is the author of The Beauty of Being Strive Less and Live More With God as Your Guide, a book that empowers women to let go of the pressures of performance and comparison, and instead embrace their true identity as daughters of God.

She's passionate about helping people live fulfilled, Christ-centered lives that flow from rest rather than striving. Caroline. Welcome to the show.

Karolyne: Welcome. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited.

Dan: We are too Glad to have you on the show. So you have this new book, but we always know that behind the book there's also another story.

And so tell us what led you to write your new book? [00:01:00] The Beauty of Being.

Karolyne: Yes, thank you. So the beauty of being was birthed out of a place of me just finishing a decade. I spent, you know, believe it or not, I spent my twenties just serving in church, serving in ministry, and I just feel like because of my upbringing, you know, I was raised by a single mother.

I didn't really, you know, have my dad around. I wanted that desire of acceptance and approval, you know, from a male figure. And part of my testimony when I first got saved is, you know, I started to see, I saw God as my father. That was like the beginning of my healing journey. That was the birthing of my women's ministry, dear daddy.

And, you know, I would just write these letters to God you know, just expressing to him my heart and things that I'm walking through. But I would find that one of the things that I would struggle with in my relationship with God as my [00:02:00] father is I felt like I needed to earn his love. I needed to, earn his acceptance. And you know, sometimes I would often feel like, oh, is God mad at me? Or did I do the right thing? Is he pleased? So I think that I was well intended in serving and doing all the things, but I feel like it was from an unhealed place. It was from a place where I wasn't completely holding God and confident in my identity in him.

So. On my 30th birthday, I just got to a point where I just had a complete breakdown you know, struggling with depressive feelings and actually journaled to God on my 30th birthday. And, you know, I just wrote Dear Daddy, and along the lines of that, one of the things that I said is like. Dear God, like, I don't care to be a leader.

I don't care to have a ministry. I don't care to have a super big [00:03:00] platform. I just wanna be your daughter. And I know people may be like, what are you saying? Like, that's what God has called you to do. Why would you say something like that? But it's just the transparency of the moment I was in, I was just exhausted and I just wanted to know that.

At least I could just have my relationship with God and that would be enough for me. And I just felt like the Lord leading me to just take a year sabbatical to just stop. So I used to write like a book every year. That year I did not write a book. You know, didn't host, you know, any women's conferences.

Just kind of took a break and just rested. And, you know, in that year, the Lord began just pouring into me about. You know, my identity being in him about how his love for me doesn't change based on, you know, my works or my performance. And I feel like I needed that time to just pull away, step away, rest, [00:04:00] and just shift my perspective.

And now that I'm in the place, you know, with this new book and things have picked up again, I'm now able to serve and walk in my purpose and carry out my calling in. Such a more healthier way. Learning healthy boundaries, learning how to say. No, when I'm asked something go to God first, like God, is this in alignment?

It looks like a good opportunity, but is it a God opportunity? Is it really in alignment with what you have called me to do? And knowing that I'm not defined by my titles, I'm not defined by, you know, my accolades or things that I've done, but, I am worthy and defined just for the mere fact that the Lord chose me and he sent Jesus his one and only son to die on the cross.

For me, that just gives me so much peace, so much freedom. It like just takes the weight off of you when you're not caring. That pressure anymore that you have to do it, you have to prove something because [00:05:00] Christ already did it. He, he already proved it. He already paid the price. So that's just, you know, the genesis of where this journey all started with the book.

Dan: Wow, that's such an important message, especially in today's culture, where it's just strive, strive, strive, go, go, go. And I think sometimes when we hear that scripture where Jesus says, come to me, all you are heavy laden. It's like we almost think that that's for the only, nonbelievers but that invitation is for all of us, isn't it?

It's for everyone to just come. When we're just. Overrun when we're just tapped out when we've been serving in the church and we've been doing all these things that aren't, necessarily bad things. And a lot of times they're godly things, but we can just not spend that time that we need to be refreshed ourselves.

And we hit a wall and we need to stop. And so I know that's something that you write about in this book about striving and resting, and I'm just wondering if you could kind of let us know how you personally define the difference.

Karolyne: Mm, the difference between striving and resting. [00:06:00]

Dan: Yeah.

Karolyne: So with striving, I feel like you're doing it all in your own strength.

You're doing it all in your own, you know, flesh and your ability. And it's like you're going and going and going, and you're not pausing for, like you said, a time to be refreshed and poured into by the Lord. One of the biggest things, you know, a big transition that I had to make is. The Lord had us move before we were living in a different state.

He had a, had us move down to Florida and we got plugged into a different church. And you know, when I came to the church I'm at now, originally the Lord was like, I just want you to sit. And receive, like, don't jump into a ministry, don't jump into anything. Just take time to sit and receive and be poured into, take time to build community, take time to, you know, get involved.

And I found like just reconnecting with community, because a lot of times when we're like in that striving and striving and going, it's like we're just focused ahead and we're not really looking to the left and to the [00:07:00] right. You know, locking arms with anybody else. And I found that one of the greatest things that I was missing was a lack in community, a lack in support, a lack in people that can really pour into me or come and help me.

So now I found myself in a place that before God called me to launch back into ministry again, he made sure that I was surrounded with a community of believers, that I was strengthened and not just my relationship with him. But strengthening my relationship with others because we're not called to do this life alone.

We're not called to fulfill, you know, our purpose alone. Even in the body of Christ. We are a body, right? We all have a different role to play a unique purpose, but we all work together and we need one another. And I feel like that is one of the biggest things that I discovered in my journey. Of resting is being able to rest alongside the community and the people that God has placed in my life.

But even just on a more practical level really implementing it on a, a [00:08:00] weekly basis. You know, for me that day is Sunday where I'm like, okay, we're going to church. I'm not working. I'm just chilling. And I, and sometimes when we don't. Relinquish control, I feel like with striving is this need for control to make sure you know, everything stays on par.

You have your goals, you have your plans, you have everything laid out. It is this sense of surrender and rest where you're like, God, I surrender my plans. I surrender. You know, I can't control what happens with my life. You are in control of my life. So when. When I practiced that on Sunday, I'm like, you know, I can just rest today because work will come tomorrow, right?

I can finish this project tomorrow. I can do this tomorrow. I can't really control the situation. It helped me so much and I found that it rejuvenated me and I found that I have more energy, you know, to continue on the week stronger when I really implemented that in a practical way. And then in [00:09:00] terms of just community being willing to ask for help.

Feeling like, you know, you don't have to feel like you have to do it all on your own. Just opening up more, letting you know people know when you need that support, when you need help, or when you just need a break, when you need to take a step back was really instrumental in my journey.

Amanda: Yeah, that's so important.

Just hearing the word control. That's a huge thing that so many of us struggle with, wanting to just feel like we are in control. Of everything and we're keeping the plates spinning and the balls moving and all those things, and yet when we just let go. Trust the Lord, things go so much better and it's healthier for us to do that.

It's for our good, but in our flesh, it can be so hard to let go of those things sometimes. So could you give us some practical steps of what does that look like to surrender that control to the Lord and really live that out daily and weekly and abiding with him?

Karolyne: Hmm. I love, I love that [00:10:00] question.

One way that God helps me to practice practically develop this is working on developing the fruits of the spirit. I remember when I was in that season of striving, I remember one of the prayers that I prayed to God was, Lord. I wanna have all the gifts of the spirit, right? I wanna be able to prophesy, I wanna be able to do miracles and all these things.

And the Holy Spirit said this to me so clearly and profoundly, I just felt it impressed on my spirit. He's like, if you want all the gifts of the spirit, you need to have all the fruit of the spirit. To be able to carry that. And that had such a profound impact on me. And that's what led to actually my book, the Fruit Fast, where the Lord was like, every day, I want you to fast and focus on one fruit of the spirit.

Every single day. And it's just a, a fast where you eat fruits, and that is something that I actually practice on a yearly basis. I do a personal fruit fast. Where I am just working on, you know, today [00:11:00] is patience. You know, next day is kindness like gentleness. So the Lord is just building me up in the fruit of spirit.

And as you're being strengthened in this. Spirit and your inner man, then you can't fulfill the deeds of the flesh, right? Because they're fighting against one another. So I feel like developing that fruit of the spirit, and I love how you asked about abiding which is so important. So I'm actually doing a 90 day journaling challenge is completely free, and it's called the Abide Journaling Challenge.

And with the abide journaling challenge, it's just making sure that you're intentional once a day, getting back to that place in space where it's just you and God and you're developing the tools to abide in him. So it's super practical. The first, it's split into 18 days. The first 18 days is for A, the ABIDE stands for authenticity in God.

The B stands for being still the I stands for being intentional. [00:12:00] The D is delighting in God and then the E is just embracing him, embracing his plans, his promises, his will. So I'm just excited about this this 90 day journal challenge of just its daily. Every day waking up and choosing to abide in him, choosing to connect with him because he is our lifeline.

He is our source. You know, the Bible says that you know Jesus, he is the vine, we are the branches, and we must abide in him because apart from him, we cannot do anything apart from God. And I feel like so many of us are striving outside of him. You know, we're trying to accomplish all the things, and he's like the first step.

Is to abide in me because when you abide in me, you bear much fruit. So even with the fruits of the spirit, as we were talking about, when we get to that place where we're abiding in goddess and it's like a daily thing, and every day he gives us new mercies, he gives us new grace. If we feel tired, he renews us again.

He gives us new breath. As [00:13:00] we continue to abide in him, we become fruitful and we bear the fruits of the spirit. And that is able to combat, you know, that natural inclination we have as humans, you know, in our sinful nature to live in the flesh.

Dan: On a humorous note, I hear the fruit fast and I think it's already hard enough for me to fast, but then you add the element of working on this particular characteristic and I think, patience.

I'm just wondering, you had to have gone through a lot of situations that just test your patients on those days. I'm just wondering.

Karolyne: I'm curious. Yeah, it's hard and it's, it's crazy because when we, when you're doing the fruit fast, you're supposed to track. So you get a test every day and every time I do this fast God is faithful to test me in that area.

And let me tell you, my, my patience was tested. But you get a test and. Unless you pass the test or until you pass the test, you're not even able to eat for that day. So I'll be tested in patience. If I pass the test of test of patience, then I'm [00:14:00] able to eat and then the gift of the spirit that goes in alignment with the fruit of the spirit that we're tested on that day, then God would activate me in that gift of the Spirit for that day.

It's, it's amazing. Y'all should definitely try the fruit fast. Yeah.

Dan: I don't know if I'm up to that challenge or not.

Amanda: Maybe not on a day where you have to do much driving. Yeah.

Dan: Yes, yes. We reverse disciple our children when I drive that I'm not very patient when I drive, and so we say this is not what to do.

Kids don't learn from daddy on this one.

Karolyne: Yeah, and I think it's important to state as well. I mean, we never arrive. This is a continual, like working out of your salvation. So just because I did the fruit fast, you know, that, that God called me to do. Like I said, I do it every year, but God still works with me on patience to this day.

There, there are a lot of areas, you know, just being a mom of four, you know, wife, you know, just managing different. Things. There are a lot of areas where I still am tested and patience and it's just a daily surrender. [00:15:00] So yeah, none of us fully arrive, but as we continue to just work it out, then we become more and more like Christ.

Dan: I really appreciate you saying that too, just being real with people. Because I think we all go through different situations. We as Christians can really hear of those things. Like, oh, Caroline's doing this, and, Dan's doing this, or Amanda's doing this, and we start to stack.

All these things in other people's corners and we start stacking them against us. And I just remember vividly, I used to work for one of the largest ministries actually. And I remember sitting in a big conference room and we were meeting at a team, and I just remember talking about what projects we had going within work, but then also in our own individual lives.

And I remember a woman sitting next to me. She just kept going and going and going of all the things that she was doing and all the ministry things and how they had Bible study every day and it exhausted me. Just hearing that and I know that. In my own heart, there was part of me like, man, I'm not nearly as active as that [00:16:00] person.

But at the same time I was like, I don't even know if I want to be as active as that person. And I know like comparison and performance are a big thing that you talk about and that you write about. That they're traps for women, but they're also traps for men as well. I'm just wondering if you could speak to some of those traps and give us some of those keys that we can help free ourselves from comparison and performance.

Karolyne: Hmm. That is so good. Yes. That's definitely something that I talk about in the book, and I feel like we are in a comparison age with just having so much access to seeing people's lives, like online and through social media. It's so easy to compare. One of the things that has helped me with this is just practicing gratitude.

Right. So just thanking God daily, like for the small things, for what's happening in my, my life, but a mindset shift. A perspective shift that helped me to stop with comparison is, number one, you don't know what that people person has walked through, what they have gone through to be where they are today, or how God has built them to be able to manage, [00:17:00] you know, the different things that he has placed on their plate, or to be able to be married to the person they're being married to, or live the place they live.

Like you have no idea what they've walked through. Mm-hmm. But I've also found when you compare yourself to what someone else you know has, or you covet what someone else has, it's actually stealing away from what God has for you. Because his plans are higher than your plans. His thoughts are higher than your way.

So it's like when you compare yourself to what someone else is doing parallel, it just sets it like, it sets that as the standard. You can't even go above that. So I found that when we're looking parallel, it's like we set the standard here and we're like, God, I want you to do this for me. But when you look vertical, it's like I set the standard here, like the sky is the limit.

Lord, whatever you desire for my life, that's what I want. So in finding that perspective shift, like when I am comparing, not only do I not know what my brother or sister is going through, but it's like I am limiting. What God wants to do in my life because I'm comparing [00:18:00] myself to another person. Wow.

Dan: That's so good. So what are some practical steps that women and men can begin to kind of let go of striving and embracing. Can you walk us into some of that?

Karolyne: Yeah. One of the things that I did was stop planning. Hmm. I know it sounds funny And that time is coming now. 'Cause it's the end of the year, right?

And it's like we got the last quarter, the new year is coming. I, here's my goals. Like I used to be super big on vision boards. I used like keep a planner and I have a planner now and I'm gonna share. Now how I do it differently. But I used to keep a planner and then at the end of every year I would plan out like every single month, this is what I'm doing, this is what I'm hosting, this is what I'm going, and it's just a lot of pride because how do you even know you're gonna be here, you know, for that.

Right. Unless it's, you know, God's will. But I remember, I think it was. [00:19:00] 2020. I remember I had plans.

Dan: We all remember 2020.

Karolyne: Yeah. We all remember 2020. That year humbled me so much because I had so many plans that I had just laid out for that year and absolutely like almost none of it happened or could happen because.

My plans were just interrupted. And after that year, I went into the next year and I'm like, God, I'm not gonna plan anything. I'm like, whatever you, I was humbled to that point. I'm like, whatever you wanna do, bring it. Let's go. Like I'm just taking it day at a time. And how was just. One of the funniest, funnest years.

It was one of the just one of my greatest years in the Lord. It, he was allowed to surprise me and give me different opportunities and things like that. So now I do something different. I actually host monthly free plan and pray sessions in my community where it's like. Yes, we're planning just month by month, so closer in versus planning out your whole [00:20:00] year.

But we're surrendering every single plan in prayer and we're being very intentional about it. So, you know, we have these just monthly plan and prayer sessions where we're like, let's pray first and let's surrender. To God, he has full permission to interrupt our plans and sometimes we get on those sessions and God will interrupt the plans and he's like, Nope, y'all are not making any plans today.

We're just praying or we're just worshiping, or we're just journaling today. So it's like just being open to allow the Holy Spirit to rip up your to-do list, rip up your plans and have his way has been, you know, one of the things that's really been able to help me.

Dan: Yeah, I'm intrigued by this because we wanna be fruitful.

That's something we've been talking about here. Right? And being fruitful, we need to make plans. And yet the thing is that I feel like sometimes we are hypocritical or we have double standard within because we wanna achieve things and especially, ministries or whatever, we wanna hit targets and all the things, [00:21:00] but then all of a sudden.

We can get in trouble for being overly ambitious. So I'm just wondering how do you balance ambition with faith, ambition with resting and how do you pursue those things in the right way with the right heart? Not going too fast that you burn out but not resting so much that you're not being fruitful.

Karolyne: That's really, that's a really good question. I feel like it's a really fine line and it's really nuanced. One of the things, you know, aside from prayer, prayer is very important. Submitting everything to God in prayer, but fasting. So I fast a lot about, you know, my decisions, you know, before I make them, and being very intentional about that, but just leaving space for God to move, you know, leaving space for God to move in your situation and understanding if things happen unexpectedly.

Like, that's okay. God, what's the next step? Allowing God to redirect your steps and also having [00:22:00] wise counsel as you're making plans. I think sometimes we get in trouble because we're just making plans just literally on our own. So allowing God to show you like. A trusted mentor or advisor that can kind of help steer you in the right direction sometimes, you know, allowing people to speak into you people who are trusted, who can speak into the vision and understand the vision that God has given you.

So I think it's just walking with the Lord daily. Walking with the Holy Spirit and being very fluid in your planning, you know, and less rigid, just being very fluid and going on God's timing, right? So if it's up to us, I would love to have the plans, you know, a year in advance and know everything way in advance.

But God is always on time, even if it's at the last minute. So you can, it can seem like you're a little disorganized if certain things are on the last minute, but it's waiting on the Lord. So even in my life right now, just to be transparent, I started a [00:23:00] Christian mentorship program and pageant for women.

It's called Miss Eternity. And you know, this has been in the works. We've been planning it out for a few years now, but there are certain things that. We're still praying about. There's certain things that we're still waiting on God to confirm, you know, and show us. One of those things is the venue of where exactly it's going to happen, and that's been taking a lot of patience on my end because, you know, we're talking to different people in leadership and you know, there's different people involved and I just have to every day surrender that to God and just pay attention to the other areas where he is working.

He is moving, he's. Blessing it. His hand is on it. And when I see he's working and moving, that's like confirmation affirmation for me. Okay, God is in this, but we can't have everything right? So he'll give us like pieces of the puzzle, but he ain't going to give you the whole puzzle 'cause he still wants you to rely on him.

You know, seek him in everything that you do. And you know, I love the scripture that says. [00:24:00] You know, seek God in everything that you do. If you do everything you know with the intention to please God, then he will order your steps. You know, a man plants his way, but the Lord directs his steps. So I like a lot of verses and proverbs that, you know, share about planning that give you wisdom in that sense, I feel like that helps me a lot, but it's just like, seek God, commit your ways to God, and everything that you do will prosper.

Amanda: Wow, it's so good. Just fasting before decisions. that give such peace in those moments where in your mind, you can go round and round with different solutions that seem logical or might make sense, but it's giving God that license to provide his creativity, his thinking that.

Something that we wouldn't even think of because his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and just trusting him in that. It's just so, so, so good. Yeah.

Karolyne: You know, something else that helped me that you made me think of with what you just shared is I used to, [00:25:00] when I would make like plans or decisions, I would make decisions fast.

You know, it would kind of just be. It would just, like if someone asked me for something or if I got an opportunity, I would just be excited and outta my excitement. I would just like, oh yeah, yeah. So now whenever a decision comes up, I like just kind of just wait. Like I'll just carry it and just, I'll just wait until I like hear something.

I'm just not as quick now to make decisions. And I feel like that has helped a lot, like just waiting. Until you receive a confirmation or you feel a piece about it, but not just being so rushed or feeling pressured to make a decision can really help you in your planning.

Amanda: Yeah, absolutely. That's so important.

I love what you said too about, the wise council surrounding. As believers we don't just wanna share our possibilities and our plans, our prayers with just anyone. Because we could very easily get some negative feedback in that process and get [00:26:00] some unwanted, unsolicited advice that is not necessarily godly.

So, again, having those people around you that can trust. Going back to even what you shared earlier about the importance of community in that resting space, just being able to be walking, arm in arm with other believers.

Karolyne: Yeah, that's good. And then another thing I thought of one other thing that has helped me, which is a biblical principle that the Lord has been teaching me is counting the cost.

I, I would not count the cause like in the past, like in my twenties and stuff, like I would be super ambitious and be excited. Like if I received a vision from God or an idea of something, gonna do that doesn't mean he didn't give it to me, but I wouldn't count the cost and I would like just hop right in.

So now. In wisdom, the Lord will have me like really count the cost. Like what sacrifice will this require of me spiritually? What will this require of my time? What will this require of me financially? And it in that sense, it gives me a better idea of [00:27:00] the, the timing or the pace I should, should take at it.

So that's one of the things that has helped me practically. Counting the cost could mean creating a budget. It could mean, just really seeing who would be able to help researching different locations. I don't know, depending on what God has called you to do being a good steward of, you know, that vision or whatever.

That idea, if you wanna write a book, like, you know, count the cost. How can I set aside time to really get this done? Let me create an outline. So it's like just taking those first steps and really, you know, sitting with it and recognizing what type of sacrifices God requiring of me. To accomplish this thing.

Dan: Yeah. I really appreciate your perspective on a lot of this because you're so. Oriented towards pursuing the father and pursuing his heart and understanding what he has for you uniquely. And I think for all of us, we can apply that in our own lives. It's just such an example of how Jesus approached things, right?

He was always going to [00:28:00] his father, he was withdrawing and going to his father and hearing the heart of the father, and he never let himself get. Overtaxed, overworked. There were times where he'd go minister, but he always pulled back. He always withdrew to be with the father.

And that's such an important balance because I think our culture is just so go all the time. I think it's just important to redefine what success is, right? All of us here, we desire to be fruitful in the kingdom. We don't necessarily desire to be fruitful in this world.

We do have taxes, we do have bills to pay for our children and all that stuff. We have to, generate an income. But at the end of the day, the fruit that we desire is spiritual fruit. The way that we get that fruit is abiding with the father and being about his business and just to

go back one more thing that you had said that sometimes it's looking to see. What is bearing fruit in our lives? 'cause sometimes we're sewing, sometimes we're watering, sometimes we're reaping. But there are different times if we have sensitivity, we're seeing what the father is blessing, we're seeing [00:29:00] what he's doing on that particular day or in that particular season.

And we're joining a minute. So many times we can forget that we're doing things for God, but we forget that we're doing things with God and that he's actually leading the way into that. And so I just was wondering, if you could speak to all that of just kind of how Jesus redefines the success of this world.

Karolyne: And I think you said it there. I love that that scripture, that phrase in the Bible being about the father's business, that's actually the, the name or the design that I put on my planner for the ladies in our plan and pray session about my father's business. I think having that perspective in that reminder, like, this is not my thing and it's not about me.

Like this is not my business. God, the, the ministry. You've given me the book, the vision. Everything, it belongs to you. So ultimately, success is defined by what are the results that God desires out of this? What are the results that will bring God glory out of this? So that, that's really what helped me to [00:30:00] redefine success.

And I feel like Jesus modeled that so well in everything he did. He put God first and we're instructed as well, like. Put God first, you know, in everything that you do and everything else will follow after that. So I absolutely love that. Just being about the father's business is so important and keeping him first.

Dan: I'd like to shift a little bit, we've highlighted this a little bit, but I know for women, but I think for men as well, that social media has really changed everything of how we see our friends, how we see ministers, how we even see ourselves, and that really can affect our lives in so many ways.

It can pull us away from friends, it can pull us away from rest, and it can cause us to move into different directions that we really don't want to or experience emotions that we don't want to. I'm just wondering how has modern culture, particularly the social media shaped the pressure of performance?

Karolyne: It shaped it a lot, I feel like, because there's so many [00:31:00] vanity metrics, you know, in terms of the likes, in terms of shares and all those things. And if you are looking to those things, I feel like if you're really finding your value in those things, when you see a like or you see a share, you see whatever.

It could have a actual chemical effect on your brain. And I feel like that's why so many people are dealing with, you know, depression and we see even the younger generations are, are struggling with a lot of different mental health issues. So I feel like it's very important to have boundaries with social media.

One thing that I like to do and implement is take break. Whenever I feel like, okay, I, I'm too, I'm consuming too much of the culture. I'm too consuming, too much of social media. I just need to take a break. Whether that's a month, whether that's a few months, you know, go with the Lord, whatever he reveals to you.

But taking breaks not paying attention to those things. One of the things. You know that I don't do so with my YouTube [00:32:00] channel. You know, people say, oh, your YouTube channel is so big, you have hundreds of thousands of followers. But even in building up my YouTube channel, I could not look at the analytics.

Like, I can't do that. I cannot look at the analytics and be like, oh, look at how many people unsubscribed, or look how many people like this and like that. And then build my decisions off of what the analytics. Are saying, that's one of the boundaries that I have. I kind of just have to say, God, what do you want me to put out there?

What do you want me to do? If, if people you know don't like it, then that's just not for them. It's okay if people are blessed like it, blessed by it, then all glory to God. But it's like what are the boundaries that you're willing to set in place? I have, one of my mentees in my mentorship program, miss Eternity, one of the boundaries that she set in place that I really like is she does not bring her phone like into her room.

So, you know, she does her social media for the day, but when it's time like to go to her [00:33:00] room, she's going to bed, et cetera. She leaves it out there. She's like, this is my space. This is my sacred area. And, you know, that is a boundary that I set. So I feel like. In being, you know, Christian creators or just being online in order to steward it well and just guard our hearts and protect our minds.

We have to make sure that we're not finding our value in these vanity metrics, but that we also set up boundaries for ourself. And that can look different for everybody. Yeah.

Amanda: It's so good. And going back, we were talking earlier how Jesus sought the father and looking at, we'll just say biblical analytics or metrics of his day would've been how many people are showing up to hear him speak. How many people are gonna continue to follow him after he says, you must eat my flesh and take up your family. It can be so tempting, I think, to get into that business mindset when you're doing ministry and think, oh my gosh, what do I need to shift in order to get more customers?

[00:34:00] You see people as customers instead of seeing them as people that need to encounter, the living God, Jesus, holy Spirit. They need God. I'm crying out for him right now.

Speaker 4: Yes. In

Amanda: so many ways. And it's just getting out of that mentality of, for lack of better terms, God calls the shots and yes, not the metrics, not turning those into idols.

Karolyne: Wow. And I love what you guys said, like as you know, the crowds were growing and people kept coming to see Jesus speak. It's like the more and more the crowds drew, the more he withdrew. From that. So he wasn't like, you know, feeding into it more. So I feel like just watching Jesus's example, we can learn a lot from that.

Dan: I mean, sometimes even redirected, right? Well, there's a lot of people coming, oh cool, we gotta go. Let's go across the lake.

Karolyne: Yes, exactly. I love that.

Amanda: Talking about social media. In comparison, that has always been a trap, especially for females.

Comparing is has [00:35:00] always been a huge trap. How would you encourage women who feel like, no matter what they do or what they try to change, they just can't seem to feel like they are enough?

Karolyne: Hmm. I would say to spend more, and I, one of my. Good friends. She, she shared this quote, so I'm repeating from her, but she said we spend a lot of time on the minor things and we don't spend.

Enough time on the major things and the amount of time, the screen time and stuff that we spend on social media and seeing what everyone else is doing. Those are minor things that we're spending major time on and we need to spend. More major time in the word, because his word is a mirror and it will show you who you are, your identity, your value.

So when we spend more time on the major things and we're looking at his word as a mirror, it starts to change, you know, something within [00:36:00] us. So I would say even just on a practical basis, look at your screen time manage your screen time, but also. Curate your feed. So look at the things, this is how the algorithm works, the things that you like, the things that you feed into, that's the more of what they're gonna show you.

Mm-hmm. So curate, like pay attention to what type of content you're interacting with. Right. So if you're just interacting with content that makes you feel like, oh, I'm not good enough, or I wanna be like this person, the feed is just gonna feed you more content like that. But if you're interacting with scripture people who are authentic about their journey and just real, or you know, true women of men of God, like.

Then that's not bad, right? Social media isn't all bad. I've met some, you know, great relationships and friendships and things like that, godly connections through social media, but it's just about how you manage it and your relationship with it. So I would just say, you know, spend more time on the major things and, [00:37:00] just watch your interaction with social media because the way you interact with it is sending out signals into the technology, and based on the signals you send out, is what you're gonna receive back.

Dan: Ouch. That hurt. Caroline, watch your screen time. Woo. Every so often it'll say, this is your screen time for the week.

You contrast that with man, what was my Bible time this week? And again, we can get religious. That's not the point of that. But it's more like, ooh, we definitely need to pay attention to the screen time.

They're the reason why social media developers don't allow their children to be on social media. They know the effect that it can have on our mental state. They know the effect it can have on our emotional state. And to your point about what we focus on. That's a biblical.

Principle. If we're focusing on Jesus, we could become more like Christ, and social media. And further than that, AI is developed to continue to just reinforce that which you are already putting into it. And so, wow. You chat with chat BPT and it's gonna tell you all the stuff and [00:38:00] reinforce it.

I'm always right. Caroline, I'm always right on chat. GPT, it loves my ideas. Me too. It builds on it, but it's just gonna tell me all the time that I have the best ideas in the entire world, right? Mm-hmm. And, but you know what? That can also go. South really fast. We've seen some tragic stories of people who have taken their lives because chat, GBT, I don't wanna put just chat g bt, but like AI has just, Hey, let's just keep on confirming and confirming and confirming and maybe you should take your life, right?

And so. To your point, it's so important that we do indeed focus and curate and be intentional about what we're taking in because it's what Jesus said, look, it's not the outside, it's the inside. Right. Don't focus on the outside. Focus on the inside.

And I just wanna make sure that that's highlighted enough because what you're saying there is so important.

Karolyne: That's good. Yeah. I think of the scripture that basically says guard your heart for everything that you do. You know, it flows from it, so [00:39:00] it's so important. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Dan: So you've written so many books, this new one that's coming out. You spend time on. You spend time in prayer, you spend time developing it. You spend time storyboarding it probably in some sort of fashion. You spend time writing it and editing it. There's a process.

Books don't just come quickly. I'm just wondering, as we begin to move out of this part of the interview, what is the biggest encouragement you want readers to take away from the beauty being?

Karolyne: Hmm. I think the biggest encouragement is just God's presence.

I want from reading my book, I want people to just feel God's presence off of that book and to just be drawn into his presence. And more of him. And I think that is the greatest thing that I felt in the book in my experience because I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit so strong, you know, writing this book in the middle of the night that I would like read back and I'm like, who [00:40:00] wrote this?

I did not write this. I ain't that smart. And you know, I just feel like. So much that it's God's message, it's God's book. I am just a vessel. I'm just delivering it. And I really feel like the, the last, the last chapter, the last, you know, few pages of the book. I feel like I had an open heaven experience.

And I just feel like God was, was there with me, that he breathed on the book and my prayer. I ended off the book with a prayer. My prayer is that everyone will just be able to experience the beauty of his presence so much that that is the number one place you'd wanna be. That is the number one place that you would wanna abide in that you look to eternity.

You have hope, you have the hope of eternity. That we're not just so consumed with the temporary things, the fleeting things, the things of this earth that really do not matter because all of these things are [00:41:00] gonna pass away, but that we have a hope of eternity and that we're able to look to God and we have something to look forward to.

And that people just find so much, so much rest and peace in that alone.

Dan: Amen. Yeah, so good man. That's a lot. So much, so much gold. So much treasure there. So, as we begin to wrap up, we've got some fun questions we always like to end with you wanna handle the first one?

What do you think? Sure,

Amanda: yeah. Alright. If you could spend a Sabbath afternoon with any biblical woman, who would it be? I.

Karolyne: Esther.

Amanda: Ooh,

Karolyne: definitely Esther. I would, 'cause she was a queen. She was a leader and I would want her I just, I guess I would just want to glean on how, how strong she was, like her boldness, her courage her eleg elegance.

I would just like to be in her presence and glean from her.

Amanda: Yeah. That's good.

Dan: Good [00:42:00] choice. Alright. Coffee with Jesus. What's your first question for him?

Speaker 4: Hmm.

Hmm.

Karolyne: That's a good, well, I don't know. Wow. Coffee with Jesus.

So is he drinking coffee too? Sure. I'll probably ask him, is caffeine not a sin? I'm surprised Jason would be having coffee with me now. As long as it's in moderation and we're not addicted to it.

Dan: We, the podcast cannot endorse or our position on coffee. Awesome. When we talk about striving performance, like what's the funniest striving or performance moment when you knew God was just laughing with you?

Speaker 4: Hmm.

Thinking the funniest, striving or performance moment where I knew God was with me.

Karolyne: I don't know if I could think of a funny one. I feel like at all of them it was like horrible. I'm trying to think of a, a funny one. Hmm.

Dan: No problem.

Karolyne: I can't think of one right now. Okay. I feel [00:43:00] like I have tr I'm, I'm, I'm thinking of the moments where I was striving and I knew God was with me, but I felt like trauma. I felt like, I don't wanna do this anymore. I am exhausted. I feel like giving up. Yeah.

Dan: That's relatable for sure. Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah.

Karolyne: Yeah, definitely.

Dan: And one more here. Which Bible verse do you find most relatable in? Everyday chaos.

Karolyne: Hmm. All things work together for the good of those who love God and who it calls according to his purpose. We can't understand different happenings, different situations, different things that happen in life, but I feel like that scripture just reminds me that it's okay.

It, it's gonna be good. It's all gonna work out for the good, so,

Dan: amen. Amen. Well, Caroline, what an honor to have you on the show, the author of The Beauty of Being Strive Less and Live More with God as Your Guide. Wow. So excited to see how God uses this [00:44:00] book and just how many people find freedom. And just being with God, resting with him and knowing their true identity as daughters in Christ.

Thank you so much for being faithful to the call and the mission that he's put on your life to just write books and encourage women and we just speak blessing over your ministry. Tell us one more thing. How can our listeners connect with you and where can they.

Karolyne: Aw. Thank you so much, first of all, Dan and Amanda for having me.

And thank you so much also for everything that you're doing with missional life. It was an honor to do the podcast today. You can find me@caroline.com. My name is spelled K-A-R-L-Y-N e.com. I have discipleship resources on there. You know, join my free plan and pray sessions and my book will be available where.

You know, retailers, online retailers, Amazon, wherever people sell books, I guess, and you can connect with me on social media at Caroline Roberts.

Dan: Amen. Listeners, we'll have those in the show [00:45:00] notes as always, Caroline, what an honor to have you on the show. Yes. Blessings to you and your ministry.

Karolyne: Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Speaker 2: Right. Thanks for joining us today on the Mission Life Podcast. You enjoyed this episode. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss out on future conversations. And don't forget to share this episode with your friends, family, or anyone you think will be blessed by it. We also wanna invite you to check out our free 31 Day Devotional Living and Mission, all life designed to help you step forward into the purpose he has for you.

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