00:00:06 Yusuf: What if the anxiety so many high functioning women carry is not a flaw, but a signal. A signal that the nervous system has been in survival for too long. And what if healing is not about pushing harder, but about remembering something Ancient. Something rhythmic, something secret.

00:00:31 Yusuf: Welcome to healing horizons. I am Yusuf, and this is a space where we explore healing not as a destination, but as an understanding. Today I'm joined by Leslie Draffin, a trauma informed somatic practitioner and womb centered healer who blends nervous system science with modern ritual to help women move out of survival mode and back into clarity and self-trust. We are talking about feminine healing through goddess centered spirituality and nervous system ritual, and now how functioning women can return to the wisdom of their bodies. With that, I welcome my guest, Leslie, to the show.

00:01:18 Leslie Draffin: Oh, what a great intro. Yousef, thank you so much for having me. I'm like in tears almost. That was so good.

00:01:26 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for that.

00:01:28 Yusuf: So lastly, when did you first realize that nervous system, healing and feminine spirituality were not separate paths, but actually part of the same conversation?

00:01:42 Leslie Draffin: Mhm. You know, I think for me it really started with my own spiritual awakening. Now I was raised in religion, my dad's a preacher and so I was at church constantly as a child. But as I deconstructed my Christian religion and found spirituality instead, what I started to notice was that it was very much linked to my body, and I began to see myself as part of her part of divine goddess, and that assisted me in wanting to dive deeper into my nervous system, to understanding what had been holding me back, these deeply ingrained beliefs I'd held since I was a child, and probably were even implanted into me previous lifetimes and before I was born. Um, and so the spiritual awakening I had in twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, I think really rocketed me into this belief. Like what you said, that it's ancient wisdom held within myself that I had to remember in order to, to overcome some of these more. You know, maybe we call them mundane, um, things like anxiety and burnout and overwhelm and PTSD, all of which I had.

00:02:52 Yusuf: Okay, this, this there's something powerful in that, realizing that logic and intellect can carry us far, but not always home to ourselves. And it sounds like your own body became the teacher for you one hundred percent.

00:03:11 Leslie Draffin: That's such a good way to say it. Yes, my body became the teacher, and I think for a lot of people out there who listen and and may feel plagued by their body, maybe with anxiety or chronic illness or chronic pain. The body often feels like a battleground. And for my own past, you know, I suffered with eating disorders from the time I was fifteen and had a lot of sexual shame as well, so my body did not feel safe. And so for me, when that spiritual awakening happened and I started to hear things in meditation, like, you have to connect with your womb, you have to start living in tune with your menstrual cycle. That's the only way you're going to understand divine feminine and and what it truly means to be a woman. Um, it really was, like you said, my body that led me home. I just had to figure out a way to overcome some of the fear that I had around the body.

00:04:01 Speaker 3: Hmm.

00:04:03 Yusuf: Leslie, when people hear goddess centered spirituality, some might assume it is just symbolic, abstract, or even detached from real life stress. What do people tend to misunderstand about this approach?

00:04:22 Leslie Draffin: Oh man. I think the thing, like a lot of folks might misunderstand, is the fact that this is how I believe we were previous to patriarchal world religion. Abrahamic religion. This is our actual code, our ancestral, our lived DNA code from tens of thousands of years. And the other thing I think people misunderstand, or maybe they don't misunderstand it, but the better way to say it would be they get it when they want to get it is it just makes a lot more sense that the goddess is who's in charge because women give birth. We are the creator of life here on earth. And so for me, as I was deconstructing my belief systems with Christianity, at first I didn't want anything to do with deity work or goddess work. I felt very triggered by that. And what's been interesting over the last seven ish years is how much great mother has held me and showed me that there's nothing to fear, that I'm not doing the wrong thing. That even though I believe things that are in the minority, that doesn't necessarily mean they're not true.

00:05:31 Yusuf: They're so it is not. It is not about worship. It is about nervous system permission. Permission to embody qualities like rest, rage, softness, sovereignty that society often suppresses.

00:05:50 Leslie Draffin: Mhm. For sure. And I think for me it's where the link happens between somatic work and nervous system work. And goddess work is in the archetypes. Right. All of the different archetypes that are present within the feminine and in our world right now, our modern world, you know, we have so many masculine figures doing bad things, right? Doing harmful things. And there are women who are in those fears as well, also doing harm. And so for me, what's been a really big help for my own healing is to play with the different archetypes that are there within the feminine and let those things help teach me how to rest, help, help, teach me to play, help teach me to nurture, help, teach me to be the wise one, right? All of those iterations are within me. I don't have to look outside myself. And I think that's what my work is deeply about, you know? Sure, people come to me to learn, but I'm not here to be a guru. I'm not here to be the person you work with for the rest of your life. I want to teach you ways to embody, like you said, your sovereignty so that you can go forth in your own community, in the own, in your own version of the collective, and help others heal, too.

00:07:04 Speaker 4: Mm.

00:07:06 Yusuf: Leslie, you work with high functioning women who appear successful on the outside, but I'm curious what deeper patterns are usually driving into survival mode beneath that competence?

00:07:22 Leslie Draffin: Oh my gosh. So as a high functioning overachiever perfectionist myself, I know this so well because I've lived it in my bones. The survival modes operating in these women are very often fawn, which is a nervous system state of survival. That means you're a people pleaser. You're always saying yes. You're never thinking of yourself first. It's the quintessential mother. It's the caregiver. It's what the patriarchal world values in hustle culture, because they need women to say yes and yes and yes and never think about themselves. The other thing I've seen is this constant flight, right? This anxiety. But more than that, right, it's this feeling like if I'm not constantly doing, achieving and proving, then I'll be left behind. I won't be picked. I won't be loved. I won't be worthy. And so I think those are two big ones. The flight, which is an activated state of survival. And then fawn. Now freeze, which is another nervous system state that comes from deep overwhelm. Chronic stress can also be present in these women, but I'm seeing more so than that. Something I would say is functional freeze where you're highly motivated, you you're spending, let's say Monday to Friday in flight, anxious, overachieving, always saying yes, always having your phone with you. Right. And then on the weekends, you are so depleted that you lay in bed scrolling social media, watching Netflix out of the corner of your eye and wondering why you don't feel better. Come Monday morning. So it's this really interesting state of chronic survival mode that keeps women from being able to thrive.

00:09:05 Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:09:07 Yusuf: So the body eventually refuses to keep performing, keep performing the role the mind has scripted, and that breakdown is often the first honest conversation the nervous system has had in a long time with them.

00:09:22 Leslie Draffin: Mhm. Yeah, absolutely.

00:09:25 Speaker 4: Mhm.

00:09:26 Yusuf: For a woman listening right now who says I am tired all the time but I can't slow down either. How does survival mode typically show up in a in a subtle everyday ways.

00:09:41 Leslie Draffin: Oh man. So it's exactly what you just said. They're tired all the time, but they have this internal urgency. It's like this feeling in your chest where it's almost like a thread is pulling you forward where you have to do. I can't sit still, I can't this idea that if I don't perform to the best of my ability, the world will fall apart. The kids won't get their lunches made. The the boss will be mad at me. And it shows up in waking up exhausted. Having to rely on caffeine. Not being able to sleep without a few glasses of wine. Waking up at three a m because you have to pee and then you can't fall asleep for an hour because you're so anxious about what you said yesterday at work, in the meeting, or what you've got to do the next day. And it's this looping. It's it's what's so fascinating is these women look excellent on paper. They their resumes are like fabulous. And internally, they're saying things like, why don't I feel happier? I've gotten everything I wanted. How come I feel so bad? Or like you said, the fantasy becomes like quitting their job. Running away to the woods. This was my fantasy when I left TV. Let's run away to the woods. Let's buy twenty acres. Let's never see another person. And if those things are coming up for you in your mind, it's a deep sign that your nervous system is is asking for attention.

00:11:08 Yusuf: And what is the cost of ignoring those subtle signs?

00:11:15 Leslie Draffin: Oh my gosh, the cost is the life that you really want. Like in the esoteric world, right? Like the woo woo thing is, oh, the cost is your life. But in reality it can be your health. It can be your relationships. It can be. Your spiritual world. I mean, there's so many costs that that run the gamut from feeling like you can't be fully present at your kid's birthday party because you've got slack messages on your work phone or thinking that you, you know, can't, uh, fully plan a vacation. Because what if they need you at work? But more than that, it's this idea. And this is, I think for me, what really sealed the deal. It's when you project yourself years into the future Is your tombstone going to say she worked so hard? Is your is your, you know, your your family going to remember how good you were at your job? No. And so for me, as someone who rose through the ranks in television news, was in that career for fifteen years and then took a mental health break and then basically got let go during that break. Your job doesn't care about you. Your people in your life do. And so the cost is all of the relationships. It's all of the joy. It's the pleasure. It's the joy of life that your work is costing you. And for folks who are listening, who might not actually be in the corporate world, but maybe you're a caregiver, maybe you are staying at home with your children, but you also have these feelings. Everyone in your life is going to benefit when you take care of yourself. And I know women don't love to hear that, but like, truly, if you start caring for yourself, they learn to care for themself. Your children see you modeling this amazing behavior, and you regulating your nervous system helps you raise tiny humans and be the parent. Be the spouse that the world deeply needs.

00:13:12 Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:13:13 Yusuf: You know, like the body whispers first, then nudges and eventually demands attention. And often by then, women feel like they have failed, when in reality their system is asking for safety.

00:13:29 Speaker 4: Mhm.

00:13:30 Leslie Draffin: Exactly. I think people think they're broken or something's wrong with them. But here's the thing. This is exactly what your nervous system is meant to do. And so when I see people in these states of survival mode, the first thing I tell them is actually you're doing exactly what you're supposed to do. When we think about the way that our world has evolved in the last one hundred and fifty years, our nervous system is nowhere near on board with how much additional modern stress there is. We were never supposed to have these screens. We were never like our nervous system. Our reptilian brain is not equipped for that. And so when we think about the body itself, right, you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. It's not equipped for the world we live in, and there are ways that you can help yourself. Like you said, find safety and soften.

00:14:21 Speaker 4: Mm.

00:14:22 Yusuf: Let's talk ritual. Uh, when you say nervous system. Ritual? What does that actually look like in practice?

00:14:32 Leslie Draffin: So I think first, what's interesting to remember is ritual itself. And there are so many different rituals, right? So many kinds spiritual rituals, sporting rituals, food rituals, ritual itself connects to the subconscious. Our subconscious mind is running ninety five percent of the show. It's where our inner wounds live that we can't consciously reach. And ritual assists us in getting into that space through things like visualization or through somatic practices like breathwork. Ritual also helps us be very present, and we have to be present in the here and now in order to connect with the body. Somatically. So that's what I first say is somatic ritual, nervous system ritual. Gets underneath the layers of your onion, your onion being your life in order for you to see what's happening at the root. Okay. And so that's the first thing I will say is that's why it's so powerful for women in particular, our nervous system is different than men's nervous systems. It's cyclical. It's aligned with our cycles. Even if we're in menopause at this point, we have a slightly different nervous system than men because of hormones. And so for for females, for people born in female bodies, ritual becomes something that is not rigid. It's not discipline. We have enough of that in this world. We need to. And this is again, back to that ancient wisdom. Find a way to move with our self and with our body. And I think ritual does a good job of that.

00:16:07 Yusuf: So the shift is from self improvement to self relationship.

00:16:14 Leslie Draffin: Yes it is. Yes. I'm like let me write this down one hundred percent. Thank you Yusef. Yes it is self improvement to self relationship. And I think that's really for a lot of people easier than self improvement to self love. Like self love is a highly triggering thing right. It can be difficult to love yourself. Maybe you feel like you like yourself, but building a relationship with yourself that feels sometimes a little bit more neutral. The other thing I will say is, and this is a great segue when you're starting this, it's like building a new relationship. You don't start by going to coffee with a brand new friend or someone that you're dating and trauma dump everything, right? Your body won't do it either. It's not going to show you everything at once. It needs those little tiny rituals. It needs the dating. It needs the slower conversation to really open itself. But this is the relationship that will last you the longest for your whole life. You want to be with yourself whether you like it or not. And so starting slow, I think is both helpful to hear, because some folks I know get really freaked out by even thinking about going into what their body might be, remembering and holding that they might not consciously remember. And so just know. I truly believe that when you work with someone who can assist you, it's going to go gently. It's going to go at the pace that your nervous system moves at. And in this case, slow is fast. Fast is slow. The slower you go, the deeper you'll heal. And that's really the point. We're not trying to get somewhere because again, like you said, it's not about self-improvement. It's about relationship with self.

00:17:56 Yusuf: Leslie, for listeners who feel called to explore this work more deeply, where can they find you?

00:18:03 Leslie Draffin: So I'm on social media. I'm on Instagram, Leslie Draffin, I'm on TikTok at the Womb Mystic. But if you're listening to this and it's resonating, if you feel like maybe mindset work or journaling or stress or all these things are implicit in your life, right? They're really impacting your life. I would say the best place to start is downloading my free shift method. It's a somatic healing, nine minute practice that helps you regulate your nervous system without meditation and without forcing calm. It includes three parts, which means it's perfect for people with ADHD because it's very structured. It's got the masculine container to hold it in, and it helps you to come back and touch with your sensations to honor the feelings within the body. Um, and I'd love to give you that for the show notes where they could just sign right up and deliver it.

00:18:53 Yusuf: Yeah. Perfect. All these links will be in the show notes, so listeners, just go and check those out.

00:18:58 Speaker 4: Perfect.

00:19:00 Yusuf: Leslie, is there any last message that you want to leave us with?

00:19:06 Leslie Draffin: You know, I think you led me straight to it before. Would I usually say at the end is that this is about self relationship. It's about connecting with the body that you're here to inhabit for this lifetime. And for women out there who are listening, who might feel excited like you're hearing this and it makes sense. Finally, I know I'm not alone. You're not alone. So many of us are are uncovering these things. I think there's such an interesting shift happening in the collective about wanting to go back to the body, wanting to turn back into the roots, at least on the side of the internet that I live on, and probably the side you live on too, right? We want to honor Earth because honoring Earth is honoring her. It's honoring herself. Um, and so I hope you do grab the shift method, which I, I know that more than seventeen hundred people have downloaded, and it's deeply beneficial. Um, and, yeah, if you have any other questions, you can pop into my email list and ask away.

00:20:05 Yusuf: Perfect. To everyone listening, healing is not a performance. It is a relationship. A relationship with your body, your breath, your cycles, and your truth. Feminine healing is not about becoming someone new. It is about creating enough nervous system safety to remember who you have always been. If today's conversation resonated, take one small ritual in your week. Light a candle. Place a hand on your heart. Pause. This has been healing horizons. I am Yusuf. Until next time. May your healing expand gently and at your own pace.