Hey everybody. This is Jay, the host of the NJ podcast, and this is five point. This is part of the everyday series, where we share insights and ideas in the form of five different points or related to a topic that can change and influence her life. Fridays is a good time for you to reflect because you're winding down from the week, or you could be ramping up to carry on grinding over the weekend, whether you're relaxing or you're going to Karen and grind. Fridays is a good time to contemplate on topics like these. And on today's episode, we're going to talk about how to kill your dreams, how to kill your dreams. Now there was a Ted talk and a blog that was delivered in creative by palpation who authored the Brazilian girl from Silicon valley on this very topic on hot, secure dreams. I found it insightful, inspiring side, decided to assimilate. Share this on this podcast today. Now we all want to leave a dent on the universe and more ambitious. Once you write off the universe, set it to the pennant beats, as you know, But why do some, so many of us crits on things that are supposed to be the most important for the rest of our lives, bell Peshat, and noted that over the, over her travels, she's made it a point to start asking people about their projects and why their endeavors died. And after many conversations and different companies and more than 30 countries, She got to a point of why people end up destroying their dreams. And here are five ways that you can kill your dream. The first point is buy into the notion of an overnight success. Lynn, our message said, I start early and stay late. Day after day, year after year, it took me 17 years and a hundred and forty four, a hundred and fourteen days to become an overnight success. You've heard of the story. There's a 20 year old guy created a mobile app, sold for millions sometimes depends of dollars. In a matter of days, this may seem real. However, if you were to really break it down, you figured out that the guy had probably. 50 to a hundred apps that failed. And I had a master's or a PhD in the specific field that person had been thinking about the problem and solutions for years and years. And yes, there is no such thing as a person who achieves overnight. You know, there is no way that a space X and Tesla became overnight successes. There is no way that Martin Luther king Jr. Got a Nobel peace prize as an overnight success. Microsoft did not become a Trinda company overnight. Same for Amazon. Same for the same for. For apple the same for Larry Page and Sergei Brin. They wake up one day as an overnight success. And if you had to understand something, every overnight success story is a result of everything that you've done up into your life. Until that very moment, it takes time. It takes decades. It takes years and years of practice, the goat of tennis right now, supernova Djokovich did not become the greatest tennis player of all time. Overnight. People asked how he ascended to where he got to. And you have to recognize that he spent many, many, many years. Yeah. Hi, Roger Federer behind Rafael Nadal as the number three or number four in the world until he finally got to the point where the knew how to become better in his decision-making. And the rest of the say is history. So if you want to murder your dream, buy into the notion of an overnight success, it takes time at one point. Every major, major company was a startup. Like we didn't just make up. And on the eighth day, God created Hewlett Packard. Doesn't look like that. Don't kill your dream by buying into the notion of an overnight success. The second point on how to kill your dream is to let other people decide which way you should take. Stuart Wilde said only you can decide what's best for you. Now, if we're are fortunate, we'll come across people in now field who have far more experience than we do. And then when you're building that business and the project. They will offer experience and they will advise, and this is very good. Let's listen to them. Let's learn from them. Let's thank them. At the end of the day in the final analysis you are, the only person can decide. Which steps to take. No one else can live your life for you. No one else can tell you where you should go and how you should live. When I was studying in varsity, I asked everybody under the sun, what it is I should stay in the route that I should take. But at the end of the day, I had to pick because it was me who was going to attend the lectures during the tutorials, attending the extra class. And writing the exams, you will bear the brunt of the decisions. So you need to be the ultimate decision maker. Learn from people, listen to them at the end of the day, don't let another person decide which way you should take. Thank you for life. As a pipe system, you can choose. But to get to a place that's aligned with what you hold dear, you must make the choices for yourself. Yes, it will hurt. Yes. You may hit dead end sometimes, but that's the process that you need to go through to find your path. The fed points on how to kill your dreams is to know that you will grow. But second, too soon, knowing that you will grow and then deciding to settle augment, Mangino said success and rest don't sleep. Now you've gone to, we can get to the point we. And then last five to 10 years, you spent day in and day out focusing on the important project the project has grown, and now you've got a very liable team that you trust 100%. That's great. Fantastic. Great for you. The work you've done so far has been so good that even if you do nothing, the company will continue to grow. It's time to rest for a bit. No. If you see a peak now, then work as hard as ever to find yourself another peak. Uh, someone say that when you get to the top of a mountain don't respite, but always go off to the next mountain peak. Whenever you're part of a project that's doing well. Look ethnically. Imagine how much some hard work might accelerate it. Okay. Put it in the hard work, put in the time, work harder than any area than ever before, because a very easy way for you to kill your dream is to become complacent. Jim Rowan said, why not see how far you can go? What you can be, what you can become, why not? Chris general another is the greatest score in football in history. At the current moment, he could have been complacent. Eddie got to 500, but he kept on looking for a new peak. And now he's well over 773 goals score don't rest. The fourth way to kill your dreams is to blame somebody else. Dave Ramsey said, it's easy to blame others for your situation. It's much more productive to search your own past and find what caused your faults. There are some people who can build the best product ever and choose sensei. I would horrible market conditions and no one's going to be buying this stuff. Or you've heard of a person who can say I've got this product, but I don't have the capital. Someone doesn't want to give me the capital. No one wants to invest in me or they'll say, my job is really draining you. I sold, but the employer is not paying me enough. Uh, they're not giving me the opportunity or you can, they can, we can blame all these external factors. They'll blame the political climate opening. The politicians they'll blame the economic downturn, the brain COVID-19 they'll blame the societal constraints. They'll blame cancel culture. They'll play. Uh, the legal changes that have been made they'll chip lane changes in technology that it's not fair to them, that the technology has really hampered their product or their business. It really doesn't matter, but if you have no locus of control and decide to play other people's. It's not going to work out well for you. Some people may end up changing the project up, changing the team, changing their approach, but they don't change their mindset to say, I need to adopt 100% responsibility for my dream and for my goal. And if I put that into the hands of somebody else, My dream will die. So don't blame your situation on others. Take a good look at yourself and ask yourself, why did I do, what did I not do? And what can I do once you ask those questions? You take responsibility. Can Karen growing and your dream won't die. The fifth point of how to kill your dream is value, achieving a dream and nothing else only value achieving a dream and nothing else Selma said in the depths of despair that said, I have this dream that will not let me go. Now, there are people who can be so tunnel vision, and so focused on achieving the dream that they discard everything else in life. As good to be focused, good to have that tunnel vision, but it's also good to have a bit of fun. It's also good to realize that there are other important things in life. Spend time with your family, spend time with your kids being able to contribute to a social cause that will outlive you and is far more as in this bigger than you, you can take the trip around the world. You can learn. That course you can take time to reflect, but do not only evaluate achieving the dream and nothing else. I have two types of books in the world, other than the Bible, the two types of books, the book I read the books I've read before the Alchemist and the books I've read after the Alchemist by pilot credit. And there is a story of a very rich man who had a very lavish Panisse and you could see many of the wonders of the world. And there was so many books and libraries and the, this man commissioned a boy to take a teaspoon. Filled with oil and said go from the very bottom of this place to, at the very end and just, and just, just take that trip. So the boy went around and he was so caught up in. And what was going on around him, the books, the tapestry, the decorations, the deco. And when he got back to the old man, the old man said, right. So what happened is like, and then the old man said, and then the boy said, I saw all these wonderful things. And then the old man said, where is my teaspoon of oil? And the boy ended up realizing that he's in while he was looking at all the wonders of this place. He spelled the oil and then the old man said, go back again, do the same exercise. And this time the boy was so focused on the teaspoon of oil. And then when he came back, he said, it's like an old man. He has a teaspoon of oil. I did not spill a similar drop. The old man said, well, what did he say? And then he said, why didn't see anything? I said, you see these special ornaments that were there while it was like, no, I missed it because I was so focused on the teaspoon. And the board man said the moral of the story is be focused on the teaspoon, but don't, but be sure to take in the wonders that are around. And similar to you that how you can kill your dreams and value in the dream and nothing else. Because when you get to the end of your life, you'll realize the same consumed you and you will not able to live and you'll end up resenting the power that dream had over you. And you will like this person who said, I have this dream that will not let me go end up being. I hope you enjoyed this episode of fire Fridays, where we talked about five ways to kill your dreams. Where we, we said do five ways to do this is to believe in overnight success and others decide which way you should take to settling when you should be growing, blaming somebody else and value achieving the dream and nothing. If you liked this episode, please like share comment and subscribe. Let me know what you think. If you're interested in books, I mentioned us is head over to the website. Have yourself a fantastic Friday. No, make sure you don't kill your dreams. And I will see you on the next episode.