Welcome to Love Notes from Rhonda.

And today I want to talk about the difference between experience and insight embodiment and aha.

How many times are you on the quest for a insight, an aha.

They're so seductive, aren't they?

If you could just get clear, if you could just understand, if you could just have that moment of awareness where it clicks, everything clicks.

That aha, that insight is so seductive, so seductive and so exciting when you have one, isn't it?

It's like you're like, I get it, I get it.

Oh my God.

That's why, oh my God, I finally understand it.

And you have that insight.

You have that aha.

And you think, ah, that is going to.

I now understand.

And that understanding will change my life.

But I think you and I know better, even though we don't say it, change it.

But we all have experienced the disappointment and the heartbreak of our ahas and insights.

Not changing us, our understanding, not motivating us or inspiring us.

And then we become burdened and shamed by that insight and aha.

And we say things like, I know better than this.

I know what I know, I understand.

I know better.

I know better.

See, insights and aha aha's are very seductive and they're very exciting.

Having that moment of clarity and understanding can feel freeing in the moment.

Yet that in and of itself does not change lives.

What changes your life, what changes my life is what we do with that insight and aha.

The experience that we have integrating and embodying that insight, living that insight, living that aha.

Practicing it tangible in our daily lives.

The power of experience is way better than any insight.

Aha.

Better than any understanding.

And don't get me wrong, I understand insights.

Aha.

Understanding is very seductive to the brain, to the mind.

And it's like, oh yes, I get it, I get it it.

But I want you to hear what I said just a minute ago, which is some of our deepest disappointments and sadness and the ways we berate ourselves is because we had that aha insight and yet nothing changed.

And right now I'm attempting to take away that guilt and shame.

Letting you know that insight and aha is not the change.

It is not the change.

That insight and ha will not motivate you or inspire you or magically get you to change 99.9% of the time.

It's integrating that insight.

It's living that insight.

It's having the experience.

It's about having the insight.

When you realize that your father doesn't love you or you're never gonna be seen by your sister or.

And again, any aha, any insight.

But let's just take the one, the insight and the aha that you're like, oh, wow, my father didn't love me.

All that inside.

And aha can be very freeing in that moment.

Like, oh, I'm not crazy.

There's nothing wrong with me.

Okay, wow.

Okay, wow.

All these years I berated myself, blamed myself, shamed myself, thought I should be different, better or more to get his love.

But I see he doesn't love me and it has nothing to do with me.

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

Yes, that's great.

But then you're at a family gathering with your father, or you're in a relationship with somebody who reminds you of your father, and all of a sudden you're 12 again, or 8 again, or 16 again.

And that insight and aha seems very far away.

And how do we practice that?

That insight of my father doesn't love me again, that's freeing.

In the moment, it's not about you, but here you are in the middle of a relationship, whether it's with your father or somebody else that reminds you of that person, some sort of energetic field that you are now experience feeling unloved again.

And can you take that insight and wake yourself up in the moment and go, ah, this has nothing to do with me.

This is not real.

This is about them.

I can choose to love myself in this moment.

I can choose to stand for me.

I can choose me and act from that place.

That is the work, that is the joy.

That is the change.

Experience, experience, experience your insights and ahas, embody them.

Then when you get that and you understand that, you will no longer berate yourself.

You'll no longer put yourself down if you have an insight and don't embody it, because you'll simply say, oh, yeah, I've been practicing that.

Or because once you get that the insight isn't the change, you won't have to beat yourself up for not making the miracle happen.

It'll unfold by you doing the work.

Until next time, be fearless.

I love you.