Flex, you reviewing a beer?
Yeah, I got another one I'm thirsty
Fwexy! Tirsty!
I'm gonna pull that for a drop
Welcome in, everybody, to the Craft Beer Republic!
I am Greg Thanks for drinking
Thanks for joining that dying cat over there in Milwaukee
That's Flex
That's a new intro
Oh, sorry I mean, Mr Remix himself, that's Flex
Yeah, that was a great intro
It was an intro
Spot on
Yeah, it was something
It's harmonizing
And then giggling her way all the way from Utah,
the land of no fun, as we've discovered
Yeah, I don't think you're allowed to giggle there, actually
Oh
I just broke the law
Oh, fuck We're gonna call this out
That is, on the 'gram, you know her as Miss Tipsy Socks,
straight from her OnlyFeet page
That is, Steph, what's happening?
Well, my OnlyFeet wasn't making much money,
so I left it behind
I don't believe that
There are some fucking weirdos out there
I don't believe you for a second
She's racking it in
You think with all the OnlyFeet money that you're making,
like, maybe you get yourself a taller desk
No, I really just like sitting here like a little kid
at this teeny tiny desk
She's got, like, a beanbag chair
I know
I think that's what I did last time
I found, like, one of our beanbag chairs
I don't know why I didn't think of that before
They're so easy to hide that, you know,
you just so happen to find them, luckily
Thank goodness
I hate when I misplace mine, this beanbag chair
that was stuffed in a mouse hole
Exactly
You can follow her on the 'gram, @MissTipsySocks,
and she's also a co-host of Beer Nerd Radio,
also on the 'gram
How do you listen to Beer Nerd Radio
if you're not in your hood?
You can go to K-U-A-A-F-M-dot-org
and listen to us there on Friday afternoons
So we're on from 2 to 3 Utah time
It's Mountain Standard
Utah time
Are you legally allowed to get drunk on the air in Utah?
Yeah
Oh, OK
Or if not, we're in trouble
Well, they haven't listened yet
Probably not
We'll get there
So go find her on Beer Nerd Radio as well as her 'gram,
@MissTipsySocks, all that good stuff
And if I'm allowed to pry a little bit
and ask some questions, you have a cool new-ish beer job
I do, which is crazy, actually
I mean, I've been working in the beer world in one way
or another for the last few years,
but I actually have like a beer career
What the fuck?
I know
So I'm the new executive director
of the Utah Brewers Guild
That is so cool
Congratulations
Pretty big deal
Yeah
I'm excited
I have to be a grown-up
Never mind
That sucks
It's like, well, I get drunk on the radio,
and then I have to be a grown-up, right?
And then I have to be a grown-up
But it's really cool
I get to hang out with our beer community here in Utah
and do all kinds of fun events and plan things and then,
you know, administrative stuff
But that's OK
Ew
That part sounds gross
Yeah
I guess I really don't know what--
I mean, obviously, you probably plan out like beer
festivals and fundraisers and that sort of thing
Do you have to wear pantsuits?
That sounds like something an executive would
have to wear is pantsuits
No
I wear my usual uniform of whatever I want
You should get tuxedo socks
I might have some
I haven't got a look
I don't know
If I don't, I should have some, though
That's like the most professional outfit
you could wear
I am sure there's some lonely man out there
will gladly buy her some tuxedo socks
Probably
Yeah
Her address, everybody, is 233--
Don't give it away
Nobody wants to buy me anything
And there's guys willing to buy her socks just
to get a picture of her wearing them
Not just willing-- lining up
There's a lot of-- yeah
There's a lot of instructions that come with those deals
I'm not really interested
Yeah
We should have a whole section called
"Let's Read Steph's DMs"
They're not as exciting as they used to be
All right, I need you to jump rope 71 times
There are probably-- yeah
There's things like that
They want to watch you walk on things and in things
Oh
Yeah
Ew
That's super creepy
But real talk
So besides planning beer festivals and fundraisers
and stuff like that, what kind of work--
and filling out paperwork-- what kind of work does that entail?
So the Guild's just kind of a support system
for our member breweries and for craft breweries
in the state as a whole
We do education
We do community building events
And we also, if we feel like there's
legislation that needs to be changed,
we kind of work towards that
So really, we're just here to kind of support the breweries
and whatever they need
Nice
How many laws are you trying to change currently?
Right now, one
Ew
But I'm not going to talk about it yet
Fair
We don't need this getting out
I'm pretty sure that in Utah, the alcohol industry is always
trying to change--
we're always trying to change the laws
And we have the Olympics coming
I was trying to think of this the other day
It's ironic you're on
What is the tap beer law with the ABV?
So you can't-- yeah
You can't serve anything above 5% on draft
But you can can pour
Yep, you can can pour
Yeah, you can serve anything in a bottle or can, but yeah
But you can serve wine and, I think, hard cider
on any strength
I know wine, for sure
So you can serve wine on tap, any ABV, which is weird
Tap wine
That's classy wine
So a lot of them are like--
Actually, there's a shop that I'm thinking of out near me
It's called Wade's Wines
It's a very fancy beer and wine tasting room
And they do have wine
It's a very sophisticated wine tap system
And they love alliteration
Yes, exactly
I'm a big fan as well
I really am
It's all fancy wines
It's not Franzia or whatever that's on tap
But they have a tap system
But I feel like this is not Utah specific,
where wine gets a free pass in the whole alcohol world
In here, when we were-- the whole COVID bullshit,
it was like, oh, breweries have to serve
a meal with their beer
Wineries can do whatever the fuck they want
Because you're a classy drunk if you're at a winery
Right
That's what it comes down to
Yeah
I'm not classy, for the record
I just want to put that out there
No one thought the other way
Well, I'm just making sure
Just got to put it out there
I think out of the three of us, if you just had to guess,
I would guess that Flex would be the classiest
I would say Greg's is the fanciest
Really?
Yeah
Dude, you're a member at a winery
How about this?
Multiple wineries
Oh, man
You make me feel this big, Greg
I want to see myself out
I just love that, in neither of your opinions,
I was the classiest
I never had a chance to speak
Are you a member of a winery?
No, but I'm not the classiest
I'm sorry
Multiple wineries?
You're sitting at a child's desk, recording a podcast
Not a member of a winery
Thank you
Nope
You're right
Disqualified
Fair
Those are fair points
I take everything back
Well, I'm going to take my five wine memberships
and ride off into the sunset
I don't have kids, but I have wine memberships
You're right, and I treat them like babies
Oh, dear
OK, since this is a beer show, let's talk--
let's get into some beer
Oh, first, top listening city of last week
Shout out to-- and I think this is new--
Des Moines, Iowa
Whoa
Very nice
Yeah
What's up, Midwest?
What's up?
You guys just get the internet out there?
Why?
I think Iowa is the second least boring state next to Nebraska
I'm pretty positive
OK
You mean like the second most boring state?
Yeah, I guess least exciting
OK, there we go
But they do have--
There we go
They have the world's largest truck stop in Iowa
If anyone was ever curious to stop at the world's largest
truck stop
Have you been there?
No, we drove past it
So you've seen it
Oh, yeah, with my two eyes
Not good enough to stop at the truck stop, though
Yeah, what the fuck?
Couldn't even remember where we were going
Kansas, maybe?
Your guess is as good as mine
I wasn't asking you
I was like, you know, it was like rhetoric
Got it
Copy that
All right, before we get any stupider,
I'm going to tell everybody about my beer real quick
[AUDIO OUT]
You're mixing everything tonight?
No, I'm just being goofy
Oh, OK, I like it
You know, one girl in the room and Flex gets real silly
That's false
Don't you guys almost always have one girl?
Yeah
OK, we get a new girl in the room and Flex gets silly
Newsflash, I'm a girl
All right, I am drinking Almanac Brewing's Love Hazy IPA
It is 61%, has a 388 on untapped
And at the brewery, they say, love
is brewed in the spirit of equity, inclusion,
and justice for all people
We stand with our LGBTQ+ community
in saying loud and clear, love is love
Love is a very splendor thing
And they go on to say that it has a pillowy mouthfeel,
double dry hopped with mosaic, citra, and sabro
Very goulet of you
Goulet
On the schnoz
I get a lot of Melanie smells cantaloupe,
that kind of thing
Beep, boop, bop, thong song
What?
It's Will Ferrell's Robert Goulet from Saturday Night Live
She dumps like a truck, truck, truck, hey
It's like a what, what, what, hey
I think I'll sing it again
Thong song
Can I say how impressed I am that you're
able to sing a different song while another song is playing?
That is impressive
It's not that bad
It's like I can't even think of the lyrics of another song
while another song is playing
I was singing a goulet
I mean, we caught that
Goulet
Real quick, on ye olde tongue jobber
The flavor follows the nose quite a bit
Cantaloupe with flavors of like mango and some citrusy
Very hazy
Properly haze
I don't know if you guys can see that
A little on the dark side for a hazy, but very hazy
Welcome to the dark side
Very delicious
I got this while I was up in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago
I walked out of my hotel
I was like, oh, there's like a really disgusting looking
liquor store
I wonder if they have any craft beer in there
Spoiler alert, they did
So I picked this up, and like a drunk,
took it back to my room and started drinking it
What a fun surprise
Yeah
It was good
Not too bad
Oh, that's a fun surprise
Why are you laughing?
Oh, my god
That wasn't even supposed to be funny
It was a fun surprise
It just was funny
I don't know
Because it just seemed so sweet
What a fun surprise
Well, it is
Thank you
Ryan, what a good boy you were
I did it all by myself
He was working hard in San Francisco
That's right
I'm like my own ass
Out of town
Oh, dear
That's probably the only time I've
cried when somebody screamed that they wiped their own ass
Big daddy?
Have you seen Big Daddy?
Yes
But--
When they're taking the kid away from him,
with child protector services, and he turns around,
and the kid screams, but I wiped my own ass
Yes
All right
We're all caught up now
Now I'm caught up, yeah
Hey, but not an ass wiping show
Not yet
Give it time
What else?
Oh, real quick, before I forget to mention,
happy anniversary to Naughty Pine Brewing and Brit
They had-- she had the anniversary over the weekend
Could not make it, because technically, as this drops,
I'm not even in this fucking country
But happy anniversary
Yeah
Yeah, Brit's great
I was very confused
Where are you going?
She's confused
As this drops, I will be in Portugal
Oh, that's really cool
Yeah, drinking wine, because I'm classy
Do you have memberships there, too?
Not yet
I mean, maybe by the time this drops, I've got three more
That's the fanciest shit I ever did hear
Yes
So much wine
He said, I'm going to go to a country where I don't even
speak their language, just for wine
And I'm going to be a member of their wine club
And Greg has memberships at multiple wineries
What makes me classy?
I'm by sure
I think you're wine ghoul
I'm by wine ghoul
We were hanging out with friends last week
And they're like, oh, so why did you
choose Portugal for your vacation?
And the wife starts like, oh, you know,
like I was there last time
I wasn't of drinking age
And my dad got to try all these wines
And it just became like wine, wine, wine, wine, wine
I was like, just stop and tell them we're alcoholics
Like, what else are we doing at this point?
I'm a grape officiant
How to actually--
Love me some grape juice
Big fan of grapes
Really old grapes
Maybe people, you know, step on the grapes
Big fan of stepping on grapes
Yeah, also something I try not to think of when I drink wine
is that people stepped on these grapes
Do they really?
Or do they just like press them out?
I don't think that's really not happening, Al, probably
It is happening
We know somebody who owns a wine line of wines
What country?
Where?
This country
What country?
Here's the thing
We are members at their winery
And they had like a grape stomping day
Like, hey, come stomp grapes with us
Like, oh, you want my stankiest feet in your grapes?
Do they do it in bare feet?
Or do they have like feet covers?
Bare feet, my friend
Interesting
Oh, come on
I'm sure there's some part of the process that just--
We trimmed some bushes and stuff in the backyard today
And I stepped on some weird berries
And they were sticky
They got real sticky on my feet
Don't think I would be a fan of stepping on grapes
Yeah, it was weird
Because it's just a big fucking buckety thing
Yeah, it's a big vat
Yeah, it's a big vat of grapes
And obviously, it then ferments
And alcohol kills germs, blah, blah, blah
And then if you don't wash your feet,
and then you step in your flip-flops,
and you get that like--
with the skin to the shoes--
I don't like it
Anyways, the bottle they made after that was called Athletes
But I don't know
Let's even glass this up a little bit
I don't know if we can
It's impossible
We've gotten so low, we're never coming back
We've gotten as low as the desk
Well, you're in a kid's desk
That's not fair
We both attack the desk
I love it
I was going to ask Steph if she's done any good beer
research lately
You know, no, I haven't been--
actually, I haven't been drinking a lot
Lately, so it's been kind of weird
I've been just working, so--
Well, the Guild just called you're fired, so--
No, no
Usually when I work a lot, I drink a lot
Really?
Yeah, it goes hand in hand
I think it's because I'm still training at this job
So in order for me to remember everything
that I'm trying to learn, I need to not be drinking
Like how to spell the word "guild"?
It's a tricky one
There's a lot of different ways to spell the word "guild"
It's a tricky one
There is a "u" in there
Yes, there is
I think there would be a "y," Gray
You think-- just like algorithm
Algorithm should have a "y" in it
It should
It's because rhythm has a "y"
I get it
Exactly
Oh, that's why
Yeah
Thank you for giving me a reason for not knowing how to spell
You're welcome
Makes sense
Yeah
Come on, now
I asked the wife before we started, I was like, hey,
have we gone to like any new breweries
or done any research that I can talk about on the show?
Because I'm coming up with a blank
She's like, went to Knotty Pine for trivia
I was like, we do that every week
That doesn't count
Oh my god
I'm an idiot, actually
I went to--
You went to Knotty Pine for trivia?
No, but I went to-- since I spoke to you guys last--
I went to Great Taste of the Midwest in Madison, Wisconsin
It was fantastic
I had a great time
I hear that's supposed to be one of the biggest festivals
nationwide
Yeah, it's insanely huge
Did you do an official work business?
I did
I went with the Brewer's Association
It's like, if you don't buy tickets within a couple hours
of them releasing them, you don't get them
There's all these weird rules about who can buy tickets
They only sell paper tickets
They don't do digital tickets
Yeah
So the Brewer's Association, luckily we were there with them
and we were able to buy tickets, and it was awesome
It's crazy
I hear the pre-night is almost better than the fest itself
With the home brewers?
Not necessarily with the home brewers,
but I guess all these breweries will do pop-ups or tap
takeovers from the locals
And it's just basically supposed to be one big fucking party
before the party
Yep, we went out and tried some different things and hung out
It was really-- it was a great--
it was a great work trip
Great bonding experience with my coworkers
It was really great
I was like the best work trip ever, so
Was it the best beer festival you've been to?
I'd say, yeah
It was right up there
The weather was beautiful
There's shade
It's grassy
And there were so many good beers
I was really-- I was a happy, happy girl
Flex, our homie Brian that works--
I can't think of the brewery he works at right now
He doesn't work at the brewery anymore
Oh, and he's not there anymore?
No, he's like a supply distributor now
Oh, OK
He keeps trying to get me to go out there for that festival,
also
I know, he texted me, too, and I couldn't make it
Yeah, it's never at a good time
I think I was somewhere this time or not in Wisconsin
That's always an issue
If you go get the VIP, it's worth it,
because they let you in two hours early
You can do a ton of stuff before the wave of people shows up
And it is a wave of people
It's a literal wave
It looked like a tidal wave
It's insane
It's like they cut the ribbon, and everybody just sprints
You can see a wall of people
It's like when Shooter McGavin steals the green jacket
from Happy, or a gold jacket, and everybody's
chasing from behind
That's what it is
It's crazy, because they let everybody bring blankets,
and lawn chairs, and musical instruments, whatever they want
And so everybody's running to get a spa on the grass
And yeah, it was crazy
So that two-hour head start was awesome
I don't know about you guys
I've hit that age where I will pay the VIP price for beer
festivals so that I can leave when that wave comes in
Yeah
Actually, we stayed at the hotel next door
And you can come in and out as much as you want
So we went the two hours, and then we left
I went back to my room and took a nap
Smart
And then came back again once the crowd
started thinning a little bit
That is-- that's brilliant
Yeah, that's living the dream right there
I don't think there's any festival out here
where you can go in and out of, at least not
that I've been a part of
Not here
Oh, that is so good
That's perfect
Yeah, we've started-- one of the bigger ones out here
is called Surf and Suds
And any time we go to that one, we're like, VIP
Because we are so sick and tired of by hour 1 and 1/2,
people are just A, shittered, but B, running out of beer,
the port-a-potties turn into a nightmare
I mean, just everything's bad
I'm old
I'm old too
I will pay extra for the VIP
Yeah, we're at that age now
Yeah
We are classy drunks
Speak for yourself, Greg
OK, I'm a classy drunk
All right, before we get any further,
let's check in with what Steph is drinking over there
with a call to the pen
He calls to the bullpen for beer
OK, this is the episode where Greg decides never
to invite me back, because I forgot how you guys do this
I had to just talk about your beer
I am drinking a chin-chillin' cerveza from Keto's Brewing
right here in little old Utah
I love Mexican lagers
Let me just tell you that first of all
They are top-notch
There's a chinchilla on it
Yeah, I'll take a chinchilla
I'll take a chinchilla
They think I'm Mexican
You're not Mexican?
Now I've totally lost track of my thoughts
Oh, that's OK
My favorite literary name
Yeah, there's a little bit of like--
I think they use a little bit of blue corn in this one
It is just a tiny bit sweet
It's a little complex for a Mexican lager,
but in a good way
It's delicious
Honestly, I could drink this all day
Same beer over and over, which is pretty good
Fun fact
Yeah
Did you know chinchillas are the softest animal in the world?
They are really soft
It is scientifically proven
They have the most hairs per follicle
of any animal in the world
They're like the Egyptian cotton sheets of the animal world
I've touched a chinchilla, and let me tell you--
I have, too, actually
They're very--
Damn fuckers be soft
Oh, dear
We talking S-A-W-F-T Soft
That's pretty damn soft
Yeah
But for real, they soft
Not a wrestling show
Sorry, who is the brewery?
KITOS
K-I-I-T-O-S
Steph, are you generally a Mexican lager fan?
I love Mexican lager
I'll tell you who isn't
Who?
His name starts with a G
And ends with an egg
I was going to say, also ends with a G, but yeah
It's gag
Sounds like a good sitcom
It's gag
Here's my thing with Mexican lagers
Starts with a G and ends with an egg
They're too sweet for my liking
They are a little sweet
And I love that
But because they're not smoothie, sour, sweet
Sure, it's very different
It's like a malty, corny type of sweet
Which I love
Big fan
Huge fan
Here's where I lose all credibility and classiness
for that
If I'm going Mexican lager, I need something shitty
like a Pacifico
I like a Pacifico, too
But a Pacifico is good, though
But those cheap Mexican lagers, they
don't have the sweetness that the craft Mexican lagers have
Look, the craft Mexican lagers are made the right way
Style-wise, it's always fucking dead on
It's just not for me
I mean, I'm more than happy to drink a Pacifico anytime
Especially when I'm hungover
Give me some Pacificos and a big-ass bowl of pozole
I can't say the other beer because I
don't know how to say it right
Go on
Everybody makes fun of me
Now I have to hear it
Corona?
Dos Equis?
What do I say?
I say Modelo's
You say Modelo
Modelo, whatever
Oh, yeah
That's not how you say it
Daylight come, and me want to Modelo
OK
You know I like that
Yeah
Yeah, you drink a Modelo, and I'll do a Pacifico, some pozole
I like Pacifico
Yeah, it's easy
I mean, 4 and 1/2%, it's like water, basically
What's the red label one again?
It starts with an S
Oh, I can picture the bottle, and I can't think of--
Yeah, it's bumming me out
It's like silver and red, isn't it?
No, it's not Tecate
No
There's like another red label one
Victoria?
Yeah, I think so
It's a Mexican lager, right?
Yeah, Cerveza Victoria?
C
C?
C
Red Rocket
It's a lager
Red Rocket?
Yeah
Get the fuck out of here
Who is this-- oh
It's Red Rocker Brewing Co
It's fucking Sammy Hagar
What?
Yeah, who knew?
I didn't know he had a brewing company
Nobody did
Except Sammy Hagar
Yeah, from Detroit
I think that's him on the picture
Anyways, all right, this is great pod,
me talking about pictures that I'm looking at right now
Anyhoo, all right, before we get to Flex's Beer Ludicrous
Libation Law, this comes out of Virginia
So I was going to get stereotypical and find
a ludicrous libation law from Utah
And instead, Virginia popped up as a "hold my beer,
we're trying to fuck with Utah" situation
They have a ton of weird fucked up alcohol laws as well
Nothing about taps and pipers and all that
We got to talk about shit about Virginia and not West Virginia?
I know
I wish Virginia was in there
That's so sad
I don't think they have laws in West Virginia
because they haven't figured out how to write them yet
Oh, that hurt people from West Virginia
We aim to
Yeah, people from West Virginia hurt people from West Virginia
So in regular Virginia, it is unlawful to conduct
a happy hour between the hours of 9 PM and 2 AM
That's sad
It's weird
Not happy
That is weird
Yeah, it's like an unhappy hour
They charge you double from 9 to 2
So one place had a weird happy hour at a weird time
and somebody caused problems and they just--
Right
Like fights broke out or something
Right
Too many Pacificos
Any alcohol beverage you buy, you get kicked in the crotch
It's a very unhappy hour
I was like, jeez, thanks, Virginia
Yeah, it's super weird
I thought Virginia was for lovers
I guess not
No, that's Ohio
Is that their slogan?
I think it's many states
Just a bunch of states
Half the union is just for lovers
Love somebody got that tattooed on them
Find out it's a bunch of states
Anyways, all right
Let's break into a little bit of news flight
Two weeks in a row, Flex
Let's grab those paddles
Oh, we're losing a patient
Oh, sorry, it's breaking news
It sounds more like a medical emergency
Tilray closes on their final acquisition from Molson Coors,
and that is Atwater Brewing
Now they are officially owners of all four of those breweries
that they acquired from Molson Coors
That, of course, is Atwater, as well as the other ones,
which names are escaping me
Terrapin
Hot Valley, Terrapin, and Revolver
I do like Terrapin
Yeah, they're one of the OGs
The Luau Krunkles is like an OG Pog IPA
Just top notch
All right
I've never even heard of this
Me either
Well, you live in Utah, so it's--
Fair
It's above 3%
You guys can't get it
That's a fair point
But they do like Hopsicutioner, and that
is like shred your taste buds and your enamel
with bitterness and--
Old school
That sounds so pleasant
Isn't it great how we describe West Coast IPAs?
Especially the old school shit
It will ruin your sinuses
Yeah
Hey, do you like tasting other things?
Well, fuck you
Well, I'll tell you what, that one is rough
Like, it really is
I don't think I've had it
Heard of it
I don't think I've had it
Try it
Next episode
I remember the first time I had like a Stone IPA
I was like, I am drinking Pitter Flowers
What the fuck is this?
And then you just drink it up to where you finally like it
Yeah
Or like it enough
Like it enough
Like it enough for sure
When I'm in the mood on the rare occasion
Yeah
I like my wife
Once a year
So you actually--
Hey, you want like a Stone IPA or something?
My wife
Not that occasion
Twice a year
Birthday and anniversary
What about Easter or Christmas?
You lucky doggy
Steph, were you on the--
I call it the distribution list, but I don't know
The distribution list for Stone's like influencer program?
No
Oh, no
My page is too small and way too weird
So no
We somehow got contacted, especially like during COVID
I think they were real desperate
They hit us up
They're like, hey, will you take pictures of our beers
and drink them and talk about them?
I was like, free beer, sure
You're still craft
And it was great at first, because it's like, hey,
here's an enjoy buy
And here's a Notorious POG
And then it was like--
That one's good, by the way
Oh, I love Notorious POG
And then it was, oh, here's a Stone IPA
Here's a Stone IPA with different can art on it
Here's a Stone IPA four pack, all with different can art
on it, because it's an artist series
I was like, you guys, what the fuck
do you want me to say about a Stone IPA?
Either you fucking had it or you haven't
But it has new can art
Right, it's an artist series
It's going to make it taste better
Collect all the cans
Make a beer made against your wall
Right, did you see my wall of cans behind me?
All Stone IPAs
And in the influencer pack, they'd
send little postcard-sized printouts of the artwork
I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do with this?
Frame it
Yeah, put it on your cork board
Yeah, here it is, framed behind me
Can you guys see it?
Anyways
Hey, babe, we've got to go to TJ Maxx
I've got to get a frame for this new Stone postcard
Hey, do you have any frames laying around?
What for?
I've got some postcards
Do you really need to hang up in the stairwell?
You have a 4 by 6 stat
Babe, why are you taking out the picture of my mother?
Fuck your mother
I'm putting up this Stone IPA artwork
Priorities
Anyways, Tilray
Oh
After announcing the final closure and all that stuff
of all these brands, they are now
cutting a bunch of jobs within the beverage division
[INAUDIBLE]
A lot of these are coming from 10 Barrel,
which I'm sad to see
Better than 9 Barrel
Right
I was glad to see when 10 Barrel got unbought out,
if that's a thing
Not that Tilray makes anything really that craft
But I was like, oh, good, 10 Barrel
Like, they've always hated being part of Budweiser
And now they're not part of Budweiser anymore
Well, now they're all fired
So that's kind of shitty
So, hey, fuck you, Tilray
That's rough
Yeah
A few weeks ago, we talked about Sierra Nevada
held a conference with their wholesalers
just to say, hey, guys, we still like beer
Yes
Yeah
Weird conference
Well, hey, guess what?
Firestone just did the same thing
They let everybody know that they're focusing on beer
And also, they are no longer going
to be doing like these weird monthly rollouts
of different flavors
Like cocktail-inspired beers?
God, I fucking hope so
Steph, have you had any of these Firestone cocktail beers?
Uh-uh
I haven't
Consider your tongue lucky
Are they-- what cocktails are they turning into?
They've done a ton
They've done Gin Rickey's, Tequila Sunrise
But they're still beer?
It's 100% beer
They're not a canned cocktail?
Not a canned cocktail
Different barrel-edge beers mixed together
to make cocktail flavors?
The worst beer I've ever put in my mouth
was their Dark and Stormy
It was disgusting
Yeah, those don't sound good
I've seen other beer cocktails, and I'm always a little wary
It's-- oh, it was so bad
Or as Big Dick Nick would call it, the Stormy Daniels
It was disgusting
He never-- he never remembers the name of the beer
Jimmy Garoppolo had sex with it?
He never remembers the name of the beer,
just calls it Stormy Daniels
But they go on to say they're just
going to be doubling down on their core beers, which--
look, Firestone is great and all
But how many Union Jacks can you drink in your life?
Like a Stone IPA
Yeah, what was the--
they did the Hazy Series
That was all right
The Hazy Series?
Was that now Firestone?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, that was Firestone
Yes, I'm trying to think of the name
The original Hazy of the Hazy Series, I actually quite liked
Why can't I think of the name?
Anyways, that's how good it was
Then they got all tropical and fruity and it was a little too
much
Yeah, there's a few of them, yeah
Yeah
Anybody have $79 million laying around?
Oh, yeah
I just spent it
Well, now we got stuff around here to find something
I think I only have like $78, I'm a little short
I'll try and come up with that 01
Anderson Valley Brewing Company is listed for sale again
They just sold a few years ago and now they're
trying to ditch it
Do you know why?
Because of the name
Anderson Valley?
Yeah, it's a terrible name for a brewery
Oh, I mean, they've been around forever
I don't like it
And they're from the Anderson Valley
Well, I'm going to tell you right now
I think it's a terrible name for a brewery
No, sir
I don't like it
Not one bit
If you were to steal Steph $78 million
and my $01 million and buy Anderson Valley Brewing,
what would you rename it?
Lex's mom
Something like Heroes Brewing or something like that?
No, that's terrible
That's not terrible
How is that better than Anderson Valley?
It's uplifting
It's--
No, Heroes
No, that's like the Walmart of names
You're dumb
(SINGING) Real American heroes
At least pick one hero
You can't just randomly issue a vague blanket heroes
I could do whatever I want
I've just got $79 million and I own a brewery
Not wrong
It's not going to do very well
The last place was named Anderson's
And it went out of business because it had a terrible name
I think Steph nailed it, though
I think we should call it Flex's Mom Brewing
I think that would draw a lot of people in
You know, I'd be there
Be like, who's Flex?
And who's his mom, more importantly?
Why is she brewing beer?
No one would ask who your mom is
They don't know
It would raise a lot of questions
That's what brings the people in, curiosity
It's because it's provocative
Lex's mom brings all the boys to the yard
I'm talking from experience
It's a brewery, not a milk shop
Milk shop
Damn it
You dug that hole yourself, my friend
I'll see myself out
Yeah
All right, before we get to the full pour,
let's answer some important questions over there
In a world where craft beer is king,
in a world where muscles are bigger than growlers,
only one tongue can guide us, one man, one tongue,
one tongue jobber
In this world, we must find out what is Flex drinking?
Well, today Flex is drinking Blackstack Brewing
Oh, I like that
Yeah, they're out of Minnesota
They're great
Big fan of Midwest beer
This one's called Spinning Plates
It is a double IPA at 82%
And I think the can probably reads the same as untapped here,
and it's just easier to read
There are a lot of things that can go wrong in this business
And that says, read, everything can and will go wrong
Shipments of supplies don't show up on time
A lot of times, it can feel like you're just figuring out
which fire to put out first
For times like those, there is beer
Beer like this, one
Beer like this, one, without a--
What is happening?
I put the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable
On the wrong syllable, except they were words
I thought you were going to start a list of things
That's fair
One
Is fantastic
Two, it's not this funny when Greg messes up a word
God damn it
Because you're used to me messing up words
It happens all the time
Beer's like this, one, with our hands selected
Nectaron, Eldorado, Mosaic, and HBC 586,
which they should just give a god damn fucking name to already
Agreed
It's been like eight years
It's a tough world out there
No one's going to serve it up to you on a silver platter
Just keep spinning
That's what it says
So this is a 4-1-2 on untapped
It's only got 300 rating, so it's relatively new
Freshie
It's as new as Flex's reading skills
Hey, it was--
I'll never live that down
It's like a Casey and JoJo song
All right, well, shut your mouth now
Brian McKnight
Sorry, Brian McKnight
This is a similar color to the beer I drank last week
It's very pale yellow
It's weird for you to drink a hazy
It's a double IPA
Never said it was a hazy dick
Anyway, this is my favorite color of maybe hazies
They're maybe not see-through IPAs
The not clear ones?
A bit blurby
Blurry IPA
I like that, actually
Be good for a triple, because you get drunk
Blurry IPA
I do like triples
That's a good-- that would be a great band name, too
So I'm the old schnoz here
Need some grapefruit?
A little bit of that gooseberry from them Southern Hemisphere
Gooseberries?
Are there Southern Hemisphere hops in here?
I can't remember now
I have no idea what a gooseberry smells like
I don't know if the nectar on Southern Hemisphere
Check that out
Schnozberries taste like schnozberries
Take this all out, Greg
Edit
We're going to retract, clap, edit point
So I'm the old schnoz
A lot of grapefruity pith
I love that you tried to just pass that along like nothing
had happened
Oh, sure
I trust Greg to edit this out
This might be my favorite thing that's ever happened
And I am going to have to edit it, because it's just
five minutes of us laughing
Oh, fuck
So I'm the old schnoz
A lot of grapefruit coming in on this one
I'm literally crying
Me too
I'm trying to wipe my tears away
They just keep showing up
Oh, this will go on the Boston episode
OK
The blooper reel
Yeah
Oh, man
Zungenjobber
I mean, zungenjobber in German
I'm the old schnoz
A lot of grapefruit coming through
Mm, nice, nice
Grapefruit pith, you know, the pith of the grapefruit
Very grapefruity
Big fan
I don't like to eat grapefruit, but I like the smell of it
And I'm the old zungenjobber
Zungenjobber
A little less flavor than the aromatics
But there's no bitterness
Real low carbonation
And like, not a dry finish, but not--
it's like enough to make you want
to come back for another sip
But doesn't completely dry your tongue out
This is-- it's a fine beer
And guess what I did, Greg?
Oh, did you run it through the algorithm?
I went to craftbeerrepubliccom/algorithm,
not with a Y And I put everything in
So it was a 82% ABV
$1599 for the four pack
OK, very respectable baseline price
And I rated the can art a seven
Because Blackstack, they always do some--
it's the same can, you know, with different colors
and the background behind the Blackstack
But still, it's clever
And it gave me a 71
OK
So it's a respectable rating, I'd say
And I would probably say that the beer stands true to the 71
Perfect
So as opposed to last week, where I would have
heightened it a little bit
Sure
That's really funny
She's laughing at your science over here
Well, it's clearing science
My beer review was way too short
I was not prepared
Well, to be fair, this one's gone on for 15 minutes
Where mine fell short, Flex's is just like--
I was like, are we still talking about the same beer?
The one that was like, and this one, is that the same beer?
God damn it
Have I lost track of time?
I really wasn't sure
Well, just cracked a second beer,
and just felt like reviewing that one, too
I mean, to be fair to you, Steph,
he did say on the nose, I think, seven times
Because we could not keep our shit together
It was your fault
I take full responsibility
Full responsibility
[GROANING]
Steph, you're fired
Actually, I told when Greg asked if I wanted to come on,
I was like, I really thought I was never allowed back
Well, we had so much fun with you
He told me you were going to be on the second show,
and I said, god damn it, why isn't she on both shows?
I told him, let me know any time
I will make time for you guys
So I get to swear on this show
I don't get to swear on my show
Yeah, fuckity fuck fuck
Right
Yeah, so good
Gosh darn it
They may kick you out of Utah
Yeah, that's pretty very un-Utah of you
Yeah
Oh, I know
I didn't even say heck
Oh, god
Well, you just did
That one's allowed
Oh, we're going to see--
what is it, the Apollo, where the guy comes in with a cane
and like pulls people on stage?
We're just going to see someone enter her frame with a cane
and pull her out
Did they actually do that at the Apollo?
Yeah
You ever watch Showtime at the Apollo back in the day?
No, it came on after Saturday Night Live,
and I'd be like, what the fuck is this shit?
That's why I watched it, because I was still up
And Saturday Live ended
Oh, man
Oh, my god
Oh, dear
All right, this is going to be fun, too
Oh, dear
Edit
You're getting a bonus for this episode
Yeah, I'm going to pay me in more beer
Beer?
Yeah
In more classy-ass wine
Yeah, I need a beer
All right, let's kill off some news
before we head on up out of here
According to beerinsightscom, IPAs now
make up half of all off-premise craft beer sales
I believe that
Do you want to know why I believe it?
I do want to know why
Because it's about half the beer I buy
I'd say it's more than half
Oh, yeah
Yeah
OK
Me not arguing that, Greg
Yeah
It also has a 5% share of US total beer sales
So there
Should we take a trip to Florida?
Where else would we take a trip to?
Yeah, Florida's the best trip
Florida drunk driver tries switching seats
after a DUI crash
Like, nobody would be driving?
Right?
Yeah
This is one of those things that you always fantasize about,
but never actually do
A Florida drunk driver named Lance Green
got caught by police last week for driving
under the influence in Volusia County
Now, this isn't your typical DUI arrest,
because there's a little bit of drama and deception thrown
into the mix
According to Fox 35, Lance, 59, from Port Orange,
was driving his Ram pickup truck on August 30th around 9:40 PM
He decided that rear-ending a Ford truck on the highway
while drunk was a good idea
The two vehicles were rolling down the same road
when Green's truck slammed into the back of the Ford
Someone in the Ford got hurt, but told the officers
they didn't need to see a doctor
But it didn't stop this Florida drunk driver
Instead of facing the music like a grown man,
Lance pulled one of the oldest tricks in the book
He tried to swap seats with his passenger, Susan Green
He figured if she looked like she was driving,
maybe the cops wouldn't know it was
him who caused the whole mess
Unfortunately for Lance, the officer
saw right through his little ruse
When the deputies arrived, they noticed the Florida drunk
driver was acting quite himself, showing all signs
that something was a bit off
It's like he had had one too many before hopping
in the driver's seat
So the officers did what they usually do
They asked him to get out of the truck
Well, guess who didn't feel like cooperating?
Lance
He ignored their orders at first, staying put,
and probably hoping they'd magically forget about him
Spoiler alert, they didn't
Eventually, he got out
But when it came time to take sobriety tests,
Lance wasn't about it
He said he had back and hip problems,
so he couldn't do all the tests they wanted him to do
By the way, is that a viable excuse?
Because I will be remembering that
On top of that, when it was time for the--
And they just make you take a breathalyzer
Damn it
On top of that, when it was time for the breathalyzer,
he wasn't about that either
Well, if you know anything about DUI stops,
that's pretty much a guarantee you're getting hauled off
to jail
And that's exactly what happened
The Florida drunk driver tried to weasel out of the situation,
but ended up getting cuffed and sent to county jail
He hit him with charges for DUI and resisting
an officer without violence
His bond, only $2,000
Lance said, the doctor said, I need to back you out of here
Flex, how would you like to end this on a list?
You know I love lists
Yes
I like to get angry at lists
Well, we'll see
The cost of a 16-ounce beer at all 32 NFL stadiums
Ooh
We did baseball stadiums before, right?
I think I was here for that
Or maybe I just--
No, you were-- you just--
All right, then I was just listening
And I always feel so close to you guys
that I thought I was there
Because you sit on a little tiny desk
really close to the screen
Bullshit, that's too expensive
Super close
We'll start at the bottom
Detroit Lions--
So wait, is this top 10?
What are we doing here?
I'll do all 32 if you want them
Oh, man, you got the oxygen for that?
We'll see
All right, let's do it
Luckily, some of them are double-dub
We'll see how this goes
I might cut out the first half
Start at the bottom
The cheapest is $626
Remember, 16-ounce beers
The Lions on the Falcons at $626
Damn, really?
That's actually pretty good
Yeah
It's not a bad price
I'd pay that for shit beer
And Atlanta, they're in the Mercedes Dome
That's right
Man
I'm surprised they can afford that
The Bengals at $659
The Broncos at $750
The Texans--
Wait, wait, wait
It goes from $659 to $750?
It jumps almost a dollar
Holy balls
Yeah
That's what happens when you move west
It's ridiculous
I guess so
Texans, Vikings, and Colts all at $8 even
Ravings-- Ravings, wow
Ravings, yeah
Oh, Ravings, Greg
Ravings
Oh, what's the big deal about Ravings?
One
The Ravens, Cardinals, and Browns all at $813
The Patriots at $840
The Buccaneers-- oh, excuse me
The Chiefs-- can't forget the Chiefs-- at $850
The Buccaneers at $863
The Bills and Bears at $880
Steelers at $929
The Packers and Cowboys, rivals, but sharing beer prices, $950
That's some shit
Yeah
The Titans, Seahawks, and Panthers, $1050
That's shocking because I believe Seattle
has one of the lowest beer prices for MLB stadiums
Oh, interesting
If not the
That's because nobody goes to see the Mariners
But they're the Mariners
Because nobody goes to see them
Can you name one player since Ken Griffey Jr?
Yeah, that Julio Rodriguez?
I thought you were going to say that one guy
Was that just a random name?
No, I'm pretty sure that's his name
I'm going to think of the most Cuban name I could think of
I'm pretty sure that's his name
Sure is
You're thinking of the little league, Bill Sears
The Dolphins, the Giants, the Jets, and the Commanders,
$11
The Niners, Saints, and Jags, $1150
Wow
The Raiders at $12
The Chargers and Rams at $1375
California
Not the most expensive beer in the league, though
Because that title belongs to--
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
At $1467 a beer
I'm trying to think
Did you do the Cardinals yet?
I think so
I'll tell you what I did not do
The Philadelphia Eagles
What a bunch of dicks
They're fucking eagle hats on and 14--
Cheering for the Eagles
1467 per beer
Almost $15 for 16 ounces of beer
And I'm sure that is the cheapest, shittiest beer
they have available
I was going to say, do you think it's like a Bud Light?
At best
Oh my god
I just want to tell you that I was right
when Julio Rodriguez played for the Seattle Mariners
He was a pitcher at the League World Series
And then made his way to the Mariners
He wasn't rookie of the year like two years ago
And I just--
I know baseball
My name is Flex
I know baseball
He just made me sound like such a dummy
I just like that that's your calling card
I know baseball
It's not bad
It could be worse things
I know some baseball
I'm just not going to throw out like stereotypical names
and just guess at somebody
I mean, it would have been OK if you did
We thought you did
No, we would have never--
I would have assumed you had, yeah
God damn it
We were still willing to be your friend
when we thought you were lying
Right
That's OK
But no, you proved us wrong
Good job, buddy
God damn it
After this is over, Flex is going to be like,
you know Steph can't come back anymore, right?
I know
I'm putting in my two weeks notice
I'm assuming I'll never hear from you again
It's fine
That was a good way out last time
Oh, dear
All right
That is everything for tonight
Before I hit some music
Finally
Before I hit music, I will say, hi to Vanessa
Hi, Vanessa
For maybe the last time
Only for me
You'll be back, Flex
This just isn't my last time
Somebody's last
Maybe you guys do the show and give me a break or something
No, because I don't want to be in charge of making
everybody get back on track
Yeah, I don't know how to do it
Yeah, it's hard
I don't get paid enough
All right, I'm going to hit some music
Follow us on the socials
@misstipsysocks on the 'gram
Don't forget Beer Nerd Radio
Of course, @craftbeerrepublic, @flexmeabeer_
I think that's all the 'grams
Steph, thanks for hanging out with us
Yeah, any time
Thank you so much
What a blast
Yeah, no matter what Flex said, I had a lot of fun
Those were good times
Always
Such a good time
What else?
805-538-BEER
Call us or something
I think that's everything
I hope everyone is as hydrated as we are
One
And on that note, good night, everybody