Flex, you reviewing a beer?

Yeah, I got another one I'm thirsty

Fwexy! Tirsty!

I'm gonna pull that for a drop

Welcome in, everybody, to the Craft Beer Republic!

I am Greg Thanks for drinking

Thanks for joining that dying cat over there in Milwaukee

That's Flex

That's a new intro

Oh, sorry I mean, Mr Remix himself, that's Flex

Yeah, that was a great intro

It was an intro

Spot on

Yeah, it was something

It's harmonizing

And then giggling her way all the way from Utah,

the land of no fun, as we've discovered

Yeah, I don't think you're allowed to giggle there, actually

Oh

I just broke the law

Oh, fuck We're gonna call this out

That is, on the 'gram, you know her as Miss Tipsy Socks,

straight from her OnlyFeet page

That is, Steph, what's happening?

Well, my OnlyFeet wasn't making much money,

so I left it behind

I don't believe that

There are some fucking weirdos out there

I don't believe you for a second

She's racking it in

You think with all the OnlyFeet money that you're making,

like, maybe you get yourself a taller desk

No, I really just like sitting here like a little kid

at this teeny tiny desk

She's got, like, a beanbag chair

I know

I think that's what I did last time

I found, like, one of our beanbag chairs

I don't know why I didn't think of that before

They're so easy to hide that, you know,

you just so happen to find them, luckily

Thank goodness

I hate when I misplace mine, this beanbag chair

that was stuffed in a mouse hole

Exactly

You can follow her on the 'gram, @MissTipsySocks,

and she's also a co-host of Beer Nerd Radio,

also on the 'gram

How do you listen to Beer Nerd Radio

if you're not in your hood?

You can go to K-U-A-A-F-M-dot-org

and listen to us there on Friday afternoons

So we're on from 2 to 3 Utah time

It's Mountain Standard

Utah time

Are you legally allowed to get drunk on the air in Utah?

Yeah

Oh, OK

Or if not, we're in trouble

Well, they haven't listened yet

Probably not

We'll get there

So go find her on Beer Nerd Radio as well as her 'gram,

@MissTipsySocks, all that good stuff

And if I'm allowed to pry a little bit

and ask some questions, you have a cool new-ish beer job

I do, which is crazy, actually

I mean, I've been working in the beer world in one way

or another for the last few years,

but I actually have like a beer career

What the fuck?

I know

So I'm the new executive director

of the Utah Brewers Guild

That is so cool

Congratulations

Pretty big deal

Yeah

I'm excited

I have to be a grown-up

Never mind

That sucks

It's like, well, I get drunk on the radio,

and then I have to be a grown-up, right?

And then I have to be a grown-up

But it's really cool

I get to hang out with our beer community here in Utah

and do all kinds of fun events and plan things and then,

you know, administrative stuff

But that's OK

Ew

That part sounds gross

Yeah

I guess I really don't know what--

I mean, obviously, you probably plan out like beer

festivals and fundraisers and that sort of thing

Do you have to wear pantsuits?

That sounds like something an executive would

have to wear is pantsuits

No

I wear my usual uniform of whatever I want

You should get tuxedo socks

I might have some

I haven't got a look

I don't know

If I don't, I should have some, though

That's like the most professional outfit

you could wear

I am sure there's some lonely man out there

will gladly buy her some tuxedo socks

Probably

Yeah

Her address, everybody, is 233--

Don't give it away

Nobody wants to buy me anything

And there's guys willing to buy her socks just

to get a picture of her wearing them

Not just willing-- lining up

There's a lot of-- yeah

There's a lot of instructions that come with those deals

I'm not really interested

Yeah

We should have a whole section called

"Let's Read Steph's DMs"

They're not as exciting as they used to be

All right, I need you to jump rope 71 times

There are probably-- yeah

There's things like that

They want to watch you walk on things and in things

Oh

Yeah

Ew

That's super creepy

But real talk

So besides planning beer festivals and fundraisers

and stuff like that, what kind of work--

and filling out paperwork-- what kind of work does that entail?

So the Guild's just kind of a support system

for our member breweries and for craft breweries

in the state as a whole

We do education

We do community building events

And we also, if we feel like there's

legislation that needs to be changed,

we kind of work towards that

So really, we're just here to kind of support the breweries

and whatever they need

Nice

How many laws are you trying to change currently?

Right now, one

Ew

But I'm not going to talk about it yet

Fair

We don't need this getting out

I'm pretty sure that in Utah, the alcohol industry is always

trying to change--

we're always trying to change the laws

And we have the Olympics coming

I was trying to think of this the other day

It's ironic you're on

What is the tap beer law with the ABV?

So you can't-- yeah

You can't serve anything above 5% on draft

But you can can pour

Yep, you can can pour

Yeah, you can serve anything in a bottle or can, but yeah

But you can serve wine and, I think, hard cider

on any strength

I know wine, for sure

So you can serve wine on tap, any ABV, which is weird

Tap wine

That's classy wine

So a lot of them are like--

Actually, there's a shop that I'm thinking of out near me

It's called Wade's Wines

It's a very fancy beer and wine tasting room

And they do have wine

It's a very sophisticated wine tap system

And they love alliteration

Yes, exactly

I'm a big fan as well

I really am

It's all fancy wines

It's not Franzia or whatever that's on tap

But they have a tap system

But I feel like this is not Utah specific,

where wine gets a free pass in the whole alcohol world

In here, when we were-- the whole COVID bullshit,

it was like, oh, breweries have to serve

a meal with their beer

Wineries can do whatever the fuck they want

Because you're a classy drunk if you're at a winery

Right

That's what it comes down to

Yeah

I'm not classy, for the record

I just want to put that out there

No one thought the other way

Well, I'm just making sure

Just got to put it out there

I think out of the three of us, if you just had to guess,

I would guess that Flex would be the classiest

I would say Greg's is the fanciest

Really?

Yeah

Dude, you're a member at a winery

How about this?

Multiple wineries

Oh, man

You make me feel this big, Greg

I want to see myself out

I just love that, in neither of your opinions,

I was the classiest

I never had a chance to speak

Are you a member of a winery?

No, but I'm not the classiest

I'm sorry

Multiple wineries?

You're sitting at a child's desk, recording a podcast

Not a member of a winery

Not a member of a winery

Thank you

Nope

You're right

Disqualified

Fair

Those are fair points

I take everything back

Well, I'm going to take my five wine memberships

and ride off into the sunset

I don't have kids, but I have wine memberships

You're right, and I treat them like babies

Oh, dear

OK, since this is a beer show, let's talk--

let's get into some beer

Oh, first, top listening city of last week

Shout out to-- and I think this is new--

Des Moines, Iowa

Whoa

Very nice

Yeah

What's up, Midwest?

What's up?

You guys just get the internet out there?

Why?

I think Iowa is the second least boring state next to Nebraska

I'm pretty positive

OK

You mean like the second most boring state?

Yeah, I guess least exciting

OK, there we go

But they do have--

There we go

They have the world's largest truck stop in Iowa

If anyone was ever curious to stop at the world's largest

truck stop

Have you been there?

No, we drove past it

So you've seen it

Oh, yeah, with my two eyes

Not good enough to stop at the truck stop, though

Yeah, what the fuck?

Couldn't even remember where we were going

Kansas, maybe?

Your guess is as good as mine

I wasn't asking you

I was like, you know, it was like rhetoric

Got it

Copy that

All right, before we get any stupider,

I'm going to tell everybody about my beer real quick

[AUDIO OUT]

You're mixing everything tonight?

No, I'm just being goofy

Oh, OK, I like it

You know, one girl in the room and Flex gets real silly

That's false

Don't you guys almost always have one girl?

Yeah

OK, we get a new girl in the room and Flex gets silly

Newsflash, I'm a girl

All right, I am drinking Almanac Brewing's Love Hazy IPA

It is 61%, has a 388 on untapped

And at the brewery, they say, love

is brewed in the spirit of equity, inclusion,

and justice for all people

We stand with our LGBTQ+ community

in saying loud and clear, love is love

Love is a very splendor thing

And they go on to say that it has a pillowy mouthfeel,

double dry hopped with mosaic, citra, and sabro

Very goulet of you

Goulet

On the schnoz

I get a lot of Melanie smells cantaloupe,

that kind of thing

Beep, boop, bop, thong song

What?

It's Will Ferrell's Robert Goulet from Saturday Night Live

She dumps like a truck, truck, truck, hey

It's like a what, what, what, hey

I think I'll sing it again

Thong song

Can I say how impressed I am that you're

able to sing a different song while another song is playing?

That is impressive

It's not that bad

It's like I can't even think of the lyrics of another song

while another song is playing

I was singing a goulet

I mean, we caught that

Goulet

Real quick, on ye olde tongue jobber

The flavor follows the nose quite a bit

Cantaloupe with flavors of like mango and some citrusy

Very hazy

Properly haze

I don't know if you guys can see that

A little on the dark side for a hazy, but very hazy

Welcome to the dark side

Very delicious

I got this while I was up in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago

I walked out of my hotel

I was like, oh, there's like a really disgusting looking

liquor store

I wonder if they have any craft beer in there

Spoiler alert, they did

So I picked this up, and like a drunk,

took it back to my room and started drinking it

What a fun surprise

Yeah

It was good

Not too bad

Oh, that's a fun surprise

Why are you laughing?

Oh, my god

That wasn't even supposed to be funny

It was a fun surprise

It just was funny

I don't know

Because it just seemed so sweet

What a fun surprise

Well, it is

Thank you

Ryan, what a good boy you were

I did it all by myself

He was working hard in San Francisco

That's right

I'm like my own ass

Out of town

Oh, dear

That's probably the only time I've

cried when somebody screamed that they wiped their own ass

Big daddy?

Have you seen Big Daddy?

Yes

But--

When they're taking the kid away from him,

with child protector services, and he turns around,

and the kid screams, but I wiped my own ass

Yes

All right

We're all caught up now

Now I'm caught up, yeah

Hey, but not an ass wiping show

Not yet

Give it time

Give it time

What else?

Oh, real quick, before I forget to mention,

happy anniversary to Naughty Pine Brewing and Brit

They had-- she had the anniversary over the weekend

Could not make it, because technically, as this drops,

I'm not even in this fucking country

But happy anniversary

Yeah

Yeah, Brit's great

I was very confused

Where are you going?

She's confused

As this drops, I will be in Portugal

Oh, that's really cool

Yeah, drinking wine, because I'm classy

Do you have memberships there, too?

Not yet

I mean, maybe by the time this drops, I've got three more

That's the fanciest shit I ever did hear

Yes

So much wine

He said, I'm going to go to a country where I don't even

speak their language, just for wine

And I'm going to be a member of their wine club

And Greg has memberships at multiple wineries

What makes me classy?

I'm by sure

I think you're wine ghoul

I'm by wine ghoul

We were hanging out with friends last week

And they're like, oh, so why did you

choose Portugal for your vacation?

And the wife starts like, oh, you know,

like I was there last time

I wasn't of drinking age

And my dad got to try all these wines

And it just became like wine, wine, wine, wine, wine

I was like, just stop and tell them we're alcoholics

Like, what else are we doing at this point?

I'm a grape officiant

How to actually--

Love me some grape juice

Big fan of grapes

Really old grapes

Maybe people, you know, step on the grapes

Big fan of stepping on grapes

Yeah, also something I try not to think of when I drink wine

is that people stepped on these grapes

Do they really?

Or do they just like press them out?

I don't think that's really not happening, Al, probably

It is happening

We know somebody who owns a wine line of wines

What country?

Where?

This country

What country?

Here's the thing

We are members at their winery

And they had like a grape stomping day

Like, hey, come stomp grapes with us

Like, oh, you want my stankiest feet in your grapes?

Do they do it in bare feet?

Or do they have like feet covers?

Bare feet, my friend

Interesting

Oh, come on

I'm sure there's some part of the process that just--

We trimmed some bushes and stuff in the backyard today

And I stepped on some weird berries

And they were sticky

They got real sticky on my feet

Don't think I would be a fan of stepping on grapes

Yeah, it was weird

Because it's just a big fucking buckety thing

Yeah, it's a big vat

Yeah, it's a big vat of grapes

And obviously, it then ferments

And alcohol kills germs, blah, blah, blah

And then if you don't wash your feet,

and then you step in your flip-flops,

and you get that like--

with the skin to the shoes--

I don't like it

Anyways, the bottle they made after that was called Athletes

But I don't know

Let's even glass this up a little bit

I don't know if we can

It's impossible

We've gotten so low, we're never coming back

We've gotten as low as the desk

Well, you're in a kid's desk

That's not fair

We both attack the desk

I love it

I was going to ask Steph if she's done any good beer

research lately

You know, no, I haven't been--

actually, I haven't been drinking a lot

Lately, so it's been kind of weird

I've been just working, so--

Well, the Guild just called you're fired, so--

No, no

Usually when I work a lot, I drink a lot

Really?

Yeah, it goes hand in hand

I think it's because I'm still training at this job

So in order for me to remember everything

that I'm trying to learn, I need to not be drinking

Like how to spell the word "guild"?

It's a tricky one

There's a lot of different ways to spell the word "guild"

It's a tricky one

There is a "u" in there

Yes, there is

I think there would be a "y," Gray

You think-- just like algorithm

Algorithm should have a "y" in it

It should

It's because rhythm has a "y"

I get it

Exactly

Oh, that's why

Yeah

Thank you for giving me a reason for not knowing how to spell

You're welcome

Makes sense

Yeah

Come on, now

I asked the wife before we started, I was like, hey,

have we gone to like any new breweries

or done any research that I can talk about on the show?

Because I'm coming up with a blank

She's like, went to Knotty Pine for trivia

I was like, we do that every week

That doesn't count

Oh my god

I'm an idiot, actually

I went to--

You went to Knotty Pine for trivia?

No, but I went to-- since I spoke to you guys last--

I went to Great Taste of the Midwest in Madison, Wisconsin

It was fantastic

I had a great time

I hear that's supposed to be one of the biggest festivals

nationwide

Yeah, it's insanely huge

Did you do an official work business?

I did

I went with the Brewer's Association

It's like, if you don't buy tickets within a couple hours

of them releasing them, you don't get them

There's all these weird rules about who can buy tickets

They only sell paper tickets

They don't do digital tickets

Yeah

So the Brewer's Association, luckily we were there with them

and we were able to buy tickets, and it was awesome

It's crazy

I hear the pre-night is almost better than the fest itself

With the home brewers?

Not necessarily with the home brewers,

but I guess all these breweries will do pop-ups or tap

takeovers from the locals

And it's just basically supposed to be one big fucking party

before the party

Yep, we went out and tried some different things and hung out

It was really-- it was a great--

it was a great work trip

Great bonding experience with my coworkers

It was really great

I was like the best work trip ever, so

Was it the best beer festival you've been to?

I'd say, yeah

It was right up there

The weather was beautiful

There's shade

It's grassy

And there were so many good beers

I was really-- I was a happy, happy girl

Flex, our homie Brian that works--

I can't think of the brewery he works at right now

He doesn't work at the brewery anymore

Oh, and he's not there anymore?

No, he's like a supply distributor now

Oh, OK

He keeps trying to get me to go out there for that festival,

also

I know, he texted me, too, and I couldn't make it

Yeah, it's never at a good time

I think I was somewhere this time or not in Wisconsin

That's always an issue

If you go get the VIP, it's worth it,

because they let you in two hours early

You can do a ton of stuff before the wave of people shows up

And it is a wave of people

It's a literal wave

It looked like a tidal wave

It's insane

It's like they cut the ribbon, and everybody just sprints

You can see a wall of people

It's like when Shooter McGavin steals the green jacket

from Happy, or a gold jacket, and everybody's

chasing from behind

That's what it is

It's crazy, because they let everybody bring blankets,

and lawn chairs, and musical instruments, whatever they want

And so everybody's running to get a spa on the grass

And yeah, it was crazy

So that two-hour head start was awesome

I don't know about you guys

I've hit that age where I will pay the VIP price for beer

festivals so that I can leave when that wave comes in

Yeah

Actually, we stayed at the hotel next door

And you can come in and out as much as you want

So we went the two hours, and then we left

I went back to my room and took a nap

Smart

And then came back again once the crowd

started thinning a little bit

That is-- that's brilliant

Yeah, that's living the dream right there

I don't think there's any festival out here

where you can go in and out of, at least not

that I've been a part of

Not here

Oh, that is so good

That's perfect

Yeah, we've started-- one of the bigger ones out here

is called Surf and Suds

And any time we go to that one, we're like, VIP

Because we are so sick and tired of by hour 1 and 1/2,

people are just A, shittered, but B, running out of beer,

the port-a-potties turn into a nightmare

I mean, just everything's bad

I'm old

I'm old too

I will pay extra for the VIP

Yeah, we're at that age now

Yeah

We are classy drunks

Speak for yourself, Greg

OK, I'm a classy drunk

All right, before we get any further,

let's check in with what Steph is drinking over there

with a call to the pen

He calls to the bullpen for beer

OK, this is the episode where Greg decides never

to invite me back, because I forgot how you guys do this

I had to just talk about your beer

I am drinking a chin-chillin' cerveza from Keto's Brewing

right here in little old Utah

I love Mexican lagers

Let me just tell you that first of all

They are top-notch

There's a chinchilla on it

Yeah, I'll take a chinchilla

I'll take a chinchilla

They think I'm Mexican

You're not Mexican?

Now I've totally lost track of my thoughts

Oh, that's OK

My favorite literary name

Yeah, there's a little bit of like--

I think they use a little bit of blue corn in this one

It is just a tiny bit sweet

It's a little complex for a Mexican lager,

but in a good way

It's delicious

Honestly, I could drink this all day

Same beer over and over, which is pretty good

Fun fact

Yeah

Did you know chinchillas are the softest animal in the world?

They are really soft

It is scientifically proven

They have the most hairs per follicle

of any animal in the world

They're like the Egyptian cotton sheets of the animal world

I've touched a chinchilla, and let me tell you--

I have, too, actually

They're very--

Damn fuckers be soft

Oh, dear

We talking S-A-W-F-T Soft

That's pretty damn soft

Yeah

But for real, they soft

Not a wrestling show

Not a wrestling show

Sorry, who is the brewery?

KITOS

K-I-I-T-O-S

Steph, are you generally a Mexican lager fan?

I love Mexican lager

I'll tell you who isn't

Who?

His name starts with a G

And ends with an egg

I was going to say, also ends with a G, but yeah

It's gag

Sounds like a good sitcom

It's gag

Here's my thing with Mexican lagers

Starts with a G and ends with an egg

They're too sweet for my liking

They are a little sweet

And I love that

But because they're not smoothie, sour, sweet

Sure, it's very different

It's like a malty, corny type of sweet

Which I love

Big fan

Huge fan

Here's where I lose all credibility and classiness

for that

If I'm going Mexican lager, I need something shitty

like a Pacifico

I like a Pacifico, too

But a Pacifico is good, though

But those cheap Mexican lagers, they

don't have the sweetness that the craft Mexican lagers have

Look, the craft Mexican lagers are made the right way

Style-wise, it's always fucking dead on

It's just not for me

I mean, I'm more than happy to drink a Pacifico anytime

Especially when I'm hungover

Give me some Pacificos and a big-ass bowl of pozole

I can't say the other beer because I

don't know how to say it right

Go on

Everybody makes fun of me

Now I have to hear it

Corona?

Dos Equis?

What do I say?

I say Modelo's

You say Modelo

Modelo, whatever

Oh, yeah

That's not how you say it

Daylight come, and me want to Modelo

OK

You know I like that

Yeah

Yeah, you drink a Modelo, and I'll do a Pacifico, some pozole

I like Pacifico

Yeah, it's easy

I mean, 4 and 1/2%, it's like water, basically

What's the red label one again?

It starts with an S

Oh, I can picture the bottle, and I can't think of--

Yeah, it's bumming me out

It's like silver and red, isn't it?

No, it's not Tecate

No

There's like another red label one

Victoria?

Yeah, I think so

It's a Mexican lager, right?

Yeah, Cerveza Victoria?

C

C?

C

Red Rocket

It's a lager

Red Rocket?

Yeah

Get the fuck out of here

Who is this-- oh

It's Red Rocker Brewing Co

It's fucking Sammy Hagar

What?

Yeah, who knew?

I didn't know he had a brewing company

Nobody did

Except Sammy Hagar

Yeah, from Detroit

I think that's him on the picture

Anyways, all right, this is great pod,

me talking about pictures that I'm looking at right now

Anyhoo, all right, before we get to Flex's Beer Ludicrous

Libation Law, this comes out of Virginia

So I was going to get stereotypical and find

a ludicrous libation law from Utah

And instead, Virginia popped up as a "hold my beer,

we're trying to fuck with Utah" situation

They have a ton of weird fucked up alcohol laws as well

Nothing about taps and pipers and all that

We got to talk about shit about Virginia and not West Virginia?

I know

I wish Virginia was in there

That's so sad

I don't think they have laws in West Virginia

because they haven't figured out how to write them yet

Oh, that hurt people from West Virginia

We aim to

Yeah, people from West Virginia hurt people from West Virginia

So in regular Virginia, it is unlawful to conduct

a happy hour between the hours of 9 PM and 2 AM

That's sad

It's weird

Not happy

That is weird

Yeah, it's like an unhappy hour

They charge you double from 9 to 2

So one place had a weird happy hour at a weird time

and somebody caused problems and they just--

Right

Like fights broke out or something

Right

Too many Pacificos

Any alcohol beverage you buy, you get kicked in the crotch

It's a very unhappy hour

I was like, jeez, thanks, Virginia

Yeah, it's super weird

I thought Virginia was for lovers

I guess not

No, that's Ohio

Is that their slogan?

I think it's many states

Just a bunch of states

Half the union is just for lovers

Love somebody got that tattooed on them

Find out it's a bunch of states

Anyways, all right

Let's break into a little bit of news flight

Two weeks in a row, Flex

Let's grab those paddles

Oh, we're losing a patient

Oh, sorry, it's breaking news

It sounds more like a medical emergency

Tilray closes on their final acquisition from Molson Coors,

and that is Atwater Brewing

Now they are officially owners of all four of those breweries

that they acquired from Molson Coors

That, of course, is Atwater, as well as the other ones,

which names are escaping me

Terrapin

Hot Valley, Terrapin, and Revolver

I do like Terrapin

Yeah, they're one of the OGs

The Luau Krunkles is like an OG Pog IPA

Just top notch

All right

I've never even heard of this

Me either

Well, you live in Utah, so it's--

Fair

It's above 3%

You guys can't get it

That's a fair point

But they do like Hopsicutioner, and that

is like shred your taste buds and your enamel

with bitterness and--

Old school

That sounds so pleasant

Isn't it great how we describe West Coast IPAs?

Especially the old school shit

It will ruin your sinuses

Yeah

Hey, do you like tasting other things?

Well, fuck you

Well, I'll tell you what, that one is rough

Like, it really is

I don't think I've had it

Heard of it

I don't think I've had it

Try it

Next episode

I remember the first time I had like a Stone IPA

I was like, I am drinking Pitter Flowers

What the fuck is this?

And then you just drink it up to where you finally like it

Yeah

Or like it enough

Like it enough

Like it enough for sure

When I'm in the mood on the rare occasion

Yeah

I like my wife

Once a year

So you actually--

Hey, you want like a Stone IPA or something?

My wife

Not that occasion

Twice a year

Birthday and anniversary

What about Easter or Christmas?

You lucky doggy

Steph, were you on the--

I call it the distribution list, but I don't know

The distribution list for Stone's like influencer program?

No

Oh, no

My page is too small and way too weird

So no

We somehow got contacted, especially like during COVID

I think they were real desperate

They hit us up

They're like, hey, will you take pictures of our beers

and drink them and talk about them?

I was like, free beer, sure

You're still craft

And it was great at first, because it's like, hey,

here's an enjoy buy

And here's a Notorious POG

And then it was like--

That one's good, by the way

Oh, I love Notorious POG

And then it was, oh, here's a Stone IPA

Here's a Stone IPA with different can art on it

Here's a Stone IPA four pack, all with different can art

on it, because it's an artist series

I was like, you guys, what the fuck

do you want me to say about a Stone IPA?

Either you fucking had it or you haven't

But it has new can art

Right, it's an artist series

It's going to make it taste better

Collect all the cans

Make a beer made against your wall

Right, did you see my wall of cans behind me?

All Stone IPAs

And in the influencer pack, they'd

send little postcard-sized printouts of the artwork

I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do with this?

Frame it

Yeah, put it on your cork board

Yeah, here it is, framed behind me

Can you guys see it?

Anyways

Hey, babe, we've got to go to TJ Maxx

I've got to get a frame for this new Stone postcard

Hey, do you have any frames laying around?

What for?

I've got some postcards

Do you really need to hang up in the stairwell?

You have a 4 by 6 stat

Babe, why are you taking out the picture of my mother?

Fuck your mother

I'm putting up this Stone IPA artwork

Priorities

Anyways, Tilray

Oh

After announcing the final closure and all that stuff

of all these brands, they are now

cutting a bunch of jobs within the beverage division

[INAUDIBLE]

A lot of these are coming from 10 Barrel,

which I'm sad to see

Better than 9 Barrel

Right

I was glad to see when 10 Barrel got unbought out,

if that's a thing

Not that Tilray makes anything really that craft

But I was like, oh, good, 10 Barrel

Like, they've always hated being part of Budweiser

And now they're not part of Budweiser anymore

Well, now they're all fired

So that's kind of shitty

So, hey, fuck you, Tilray

That's rough

Yeah

Yeah

A few weeks ago, we talked about Sierra Nevada

held a conference with their wholesalers

just to say, hey, guys, we still like beer

Yes

Yeah

Weird conference

Well, hey, guess what?

Firestone just did the same thing

They let everybody know that they're focusing on beer

And also, they are no longer going

to be doing like these weird monthly rollouts

of different flavors

Like cocktail-inspired beers?

God, I fucking hope so

Steph, have you had any of these Firestone cocktail beers?

Uh-uh

I haven't

Consider your tongue lucky

Are they-- what cocktails are they turning into?

They've done a ton

They've done Gin Rickey's, Tequila Sunrise

But they're still beer?

It's 100% beer

They're not a canned cocktail?

Not a canned cocktail

Different barrel-edge beers mixed together

to make cocktail flavors?

The worst beer I've ever put in my mouth

was their Dark and Stormy

It was disgusting

Yeah, those don't sound good

I've seen other beer cocktails, and I'm always a little wary

It's-- oh, it was so bad

Or as Big Dick Nick would call it, the Stormy Daniels

It was disgusting

He never-- he never remembers the name of the beer

Jimmy Garoppolo had sex with it?

He never remembers the name of the beer,

just calls it Stormy Daniels

But they go on to say they're just

going to be doubling down on their core beers, which--

look, Firestone is great and all

But how many Union Jacks can you drink in your life?

Like a Stone IPA

Yeah, what was the--

they did the Hazy Series

That was all right

The Hazy Series?

Was that now Firestone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, that was Firestone

Yes, I'm trying to think of the name

The original Hazy of the Hazy Series, I actually quite liked

Why can't I think of the name?

Anyways, that's how good it was

Then they got all tropical and fruity and it was a little too

much

Yeah, there's a few of them, yeah

Yeah

Anybody have $79 million laying around?

Oh, yeah

I just spent it

Well, now we got stuff around here to find something

I think I only have like $78, I'm a little short

I'll try and come up with that 01

Anderson Valley Brewing Company is listed for sale again

They just sold a few years ago and now they're

trying to ditch it

Do you know why?

Because of the name

Anderson Valley?

Yeah, it's a terrible name for a brewery

Oh, I mean, they've been around forever

I don't like it

And they're from the Anderson Valley

Well, I'm going to tell you right now

I think it's a terrible name for a brewery

No, sir

I don't like it

Not one bit

If you were to steal Steph $78 million

and my $01 million and buy Anderson Valley Brewing,

what would you rename it?

Lex's mom

Something like Heroes Brewing or something like that?

No, that's terrible

That's not terrible

How is that better than Anderson Valley?

It's uplifting

It's--

No, Heroes

No, that's like the Walmart of names

You're dumb

(SINGING) Real American heroes

At least pick one hero

You can't just randomly issue a vague blanket heroes

I could do whatever I want

I've just got $79 million and I own a brewery

Not wrong

It's not going to do very well

The last place was named Anderson's

And it went out of business because it had a terrible name

I think Steph nailed it, though

I think we should call it Flex's Mom Brewing

I think that would draw a lot of people in

You know, I'd be there

Be like, who's Flex?

And who's his mom, more importantly?

Why is she brewing beer?

No one would ask who your mom is

They don't know

It would raise a lot of questions

That's what brings the people in, curiosity

It's because it's provocative

Lex's mom brings all the boys to the yard

I'm talking from experience

It's a brewery, not a milk shop

Milk shop

Milk shop

Damn it

You dug that hole yourself, my friend

I'll see myself out

Yeah

All right, before we get to the full pour,

let's answer some important questions over there

In a world where craft beer is king,

in a world where muscles are bigger than growlers,

only one tongue can guide us, one man, one tongue,

one tongue jobber

In this world, we must find out what is Flex drinking?

Well, today Flex is drinking Blackstack Brewing

Oh, I like that

Yeah, they're out of Minnesota

They're great

Big fan of Midwest beer

This one's called Spinning Plates

It is a double IPA at 82%

And I think the can probably reads the same as untapped here,

and it's just easier to read

There are a lot of things that can go wrong in this business

And that says, read, everything can and will go wrong

Shipments of supplies don't show up on time

A lot of times, it can feel like you're just figuring out

which fire to put out first

For times like those, there is beer

Beer like this, one

Beer like this, one, without a--

What is happening?

I put the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable

On the wrong syllable, except they were words

I thought you were going to start a list of things

That's fair

One

Is fantastic

Two, it's not this funny when Greg messes up a word

God damn it

Because you're used to me messing up words

It happens all the time

Beer's like this, one, with our hands selected

Nectaron, Eldorado, Mosaic, and HBC 586,

which they should just give a god damn fucking name to already

Agreed

It's been like eight years

It's a tough world out there

No one's going to serve it up to you on a silver platter

Just keep spinning

That's what it says

So this is a 4-1-2 on untapped

It's only got 300 rating, so it's relatively new

Freshie

It's as new as Flex's reading skills

Hey, it was--

I'll never live that down

It's like a Casey and JoJo song

All right, well, shut your mouth now

Brian McKnight

Sorry, Brian McKnight

This is a similar color to the beer I drank last week

It's very pale yellow

It's weird for you to drink a hazy

It's a double IPA

Never said it was a hazy dick

Anyway, this is my favorite color of maybe hazies

They're maybe not see-through IPAs

The not clear ones?

A bit blurby

Blurry IPA

I like that, actually

Be good for a triple, because you get drunk

Blurry IPA

I do like triples

That's a good-- that would be a great band name, too

So I'm the old schnoz here

Need some grapefruit?

A little bit of that gooseberry from them Southern Hemisphere

Gooseberries?

Are there Southern Hemisphere hops in here?

I can't remember now

I have no idea what a gooseberry smells like

I don't know if the nectar on Southern Hemisphere

Check that out

Schnozberries taste like schnozberries

Take this all out, Greg

Edit

We're going to retract, clap, edit point

So I'm the old schnoz

A lot of grapefruity pith

I love that you tried to just pass that along like nothing

had happened

Oh, sure

I trust Greg to edit this out

This might be my favorite thing that's ever happened

And I am going to have to edit it, because it's just

five minutes of us laughing

Oh, fuck

So I'm the old schnoz

A lot of grapefruit coming in on this one

I'm literally crying

Me too

I'm trying to wipe my tears away

They just keep showing up

Oh, this will go on the Boston episode

OK

The blooper reel

Yeah

Oh, man

Zungenjobber

I mean, zungenjobber in German

I'm the old schnoz

A lot of grapefruit coming through

Mm, nice, nice

Grapefruit pith, you know, the pith of the grapefruit

Very grapefruity

Big fan

I don't like to eat grapefruit, but I like the smell of it

And I'm the old zungenjobber

Zungenjobber

Zungenjobber

A little less flavor than the aromatics

But there's no bitterness

Real low carbonation

And like, not a dry finish, but not--

it's like enough to make you want

to come back for another sip

But doesn't completely dry your tongue out

This is-- it's a fine beer

And guess what I did, Greg?

Oh, did you run it through the algorithm?

I went to craftbeerrepubliccom/algorithm,

not with a Y And I put everything in

So it was a 82% ABV

$1599 for the four pack

OK, very respectable baseline price

And I rated the can art a seven

Because Blackstack, they always do some--

it's the same can, you know, with different colors

and the background behind the Blackstack

But still, it's clever

And it gave me a 71

OK

So it's a respectable rating, I'd say

And I would probably say that the beer stands true to the 71

Perfect

So as opposed to last week, where I would have

heightened it a little bit

Sure

That's really funny

She's laughing at your science over here

Well, it's clearing science

My beer review was way too short

I was not prepared

Well, to be fair, this one's gone on for 15 minutes

Where mine fell short, Flex's is just like--

I was like, are we still talking about the same beer?

The one that was like, and this one, is that the same beer?

God damn it

Have I lost track of time?

I really wasn't sure

Well, just cracked a second beer,

and just felt like reviewing that one, too

I mean, to be fair to you, Steph,

he did say on the nose, I think, seven times

Because we could not keep our shit together

It was your fault

I take full responsibility

Full responsibility

[GROANING]

Steph, you're fired

Actually, I told when Greg asked if I wanted to come on,

I was like, I really thought I was never allowed back

Well, we had so much fun with you

He told me you were going to be on the second show,

and I said, god damn it, why isn't she on both shows?

I told him, let me know any time

I will make time for you guys

So I get to swear on this show

I don't get to swear on my show

Yeah, fuckity fuck fuck

Right

Yeah, so good

Gosh darn it

They may kick you out of Utah

Yeah, that's pretty very un-Utah of you

Yeah

Oh, I know

I didn't even say heck

Oh, god

Well, you just did

That one's allowed

Oh, we're going to see--

what is it, the Apollo, where the guy comes in with a cane

and like pulls people on stage?

We're just going to see someone enter her frame with a cane

and pull her out

Did they actually do that at the Apollo?

Yeah

You ever watch Showtime at the Apollo back in the day?

No, it came on after Saturday Night Live,

and I'd be like, what the fuck is this shit?

That's why I watched it, because I was still up

And Saturday Live ended

Oh, man

Oh, my god

Oh, dear

All right, this is going to be fun, too

Oh, dear

Edit

You're getting a bonus for this episode

Yeah, I'm going to pay me in more beer

Beer?

Yeah

In more classy-ass wine

Yeah, I need a beer

All right, let's kill off some news

before we head on up out of here

According to beerinsightscom, IPAs now

make up half of all off-premise craft beer sales

I believe that

Do you want to know why I believe it?

I do want to know why

Because it's about half the beer I buy

I'd say it's more than half

Oh, yeah

Yeah

OK

Me not arguing that, Greg

Yeah

It also has a 5% share of US total beer sales

So there

Should we take a trip to Florida?

Where else would we take a trip to?

Yeah, Florida's the best trip

Florida drunk driver tries switching seats

after a DUI crash

Like, nobody would be driving?

Right?

Yeah

This is one of those things that you always fantasize about,

but never actually do

A Florida drunk driver named Lance Green

got caught by police last week for driving

under the influence in Volusia County

Now, this isn't your typical DUI arrest,

because there's a little bit of drama and deception thrown

into the mix

According to Fox 35, Lance, 59, from Port Orange,

was driving his Ram pickup truck on August 30th around 9:40 PM

He decided that rear-ending a Ford truck on the highway

while drunk was a good idea

The two vehicles were rolling down the same road

when Green's truck slammed into the back of the Ford

Someone in the Ford got hurt, but told the officers

they didn't need to see a doctor

But it didn't stop this Florida drunk driver

Instead of facing the music like a grown man,

Lance pulled one of the oldest tricks in the book

He tried to swap seats with his passenger, Susan Green

He figured if she looked like she was driving,

maybe the cops wouldn't know it was

him who caused the whole mess

Unfortunately for Lance, the officer

saw right through his little ruse

When the deputies arrived, they noticed the Florida drunk

driver was acting quite himself, showing all signs

that something was a bit off

It's like he had had one too many before hopping

in the driver's seat

So the officers did what they usually do

They asked him to get out of the truck

Well, guess who didn't feel like cooperating?

Lance

He ignored their orders at first, staying put,

and probably hoping they'd magically forget about him

Spoiler alert, they didn't

Eventually, he got out

But when it came time to take sobriety tests,

Lance wasn't about it

He said he had back and hip problems,

so he couldn't do all the tests they wanted him to do

By the way, is that a viable excuse?

Because I will be remembering that

On top of that, when it was time for the--

And they just make you take a breathalyzer

Damn it

On top of that, when it was time for the breathalyzer,

he wasn't about that either

Well, if you know anything about DUI stops,

that's pretty much a guarantee you're getting hauled off

to jail

And that's exactly what happened

The Florida drunk driver tried to weasel out of the situation,

but ended up getting cuffed and sent to county jail

He hit him with charges for DUI and resisting

an officer without violence

His bond, only $2,000

Lance said, the doctor said, I need to back you out of here

Flex, how would you like to end this on a list?

You know I love lists

Yes

I like to get angry at lists

Well, we'll see

The cost of a 16-ounce beer at all 32 NFL stadiums

Ooh

We did baseball stadiums before, right?

I think I was here for that

Or maybe I just--

No, you were-- you just--

All right, then I was just listening

And I always feel so close to you guys

that I thought I was there

Because you sit on a little tiny desk

really close to the screen

Bullshit, that's too expensive

Super close

We'll start at the bottom

Detroit Lions--

So wait, is this top 10?

What are we doing here?

I'll do all 32 if you want them

Oh, man, you got the oxygen for that?

We'll see

All right, let's do it

Luckily, some of them are double-dub

We'll see how this goes

I might cut out the first half

Start at the bottom

The cheapest is $626

Remember, 16-ounce beers

The Lions on the Falcons at $626

Damn, really?

That's actually pretty good

Yeah

It's not a bad price

I'd pay that for shit beer

And Atlanta, they're in the Mercedes Dome

That's right

Man

I'm surprised they can afford that

The Bengals at $659

The Broncos at $750

The Texans--

Wait, wait, wait

It goes from $659 to $750?

It jumps almost a dollar

Holy balls

Yeah

That's what happens when you move west

It's ridiculous

I guess so

Texans, Vikings, and Colts all at $8 even

Ravings-- Ravings, wow

Ravings, yeah

Oh, Ravings, Greg

Ravings

Oh, what's the big deal about Ravings?

One

The Ravens, Cardinals, and Browns all at $813

The Patriots at $840

The Buccaneers-- oh, excuse me

The Chiefs-- can't forget the Chiefs-- at $850

The Buccaneers at $863

The Bills and Bears at $880

Steelers at $929

The Packers and Cowboys, rivals, but sharing beer prices, $950

That's some shit

Yeah

The Titans, Seahawks, and Panthers, $1050

That's shocking because I believe Seattle

has one of the lowest beer prices for MLB stadiums

Oh, interesting

If not the

That's because nobody goes to see the Mariners

But they're the Mariners

Because nobody goes to see them

Can you name one player since Ken Griffey Jr?

Yeah, that Julio Rodriguez?

I thought you were going to say that one guy

Was that just a random name?

No, I'm pretty sure that's his name

I'm going to think of the most Cuban name I could think of

I'm pretty sure that's his name

Sure is

Sure is

You're thinking of the little league, Bill Sears

The Dolphins, the Giants, the Jets, and the Commanders,

$11

The Niners, Saints, and Jags, $1150

Wow

The Raiders at $12

The Chargers and Rams at $1375

California

Not the most expensive beer in the league, though

Because that title belongs to--

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait

At $1467 a beer

I'm trying to think

Did you do the Cardinals yet?

I think so

I'll tell you what I did not do

The Philadelphia Eagles

What a bunch of dicks

They're fucking eagle hats on and 14--

Cheering for the Eagles

1467 per beer

Almost $15 for 16 ounces of beer

And I'm sure that is the cheapest, shittiest beer

they have available

I was going to say, do you think it's like a Bud Light?

At best

Oh my god

I just want to tell you that I was right

when Julio Rodriguez played for the Seattle Mariners

He was a pitcher at the League World Series

And then made his way to the Mariners

He wasn't rookie of the year like two years ago

And I just--

I know baseball

My name is Flex

I know baseball

He just made me sound like such a dummy

I just like that that's your calling card

I know baseball

It's not bad

It could be worse things

I know some baseball

I'm just not going to throw out like stereotypical names

and just guess at somebody

I mean, it would have been OK if you did

We thought you did

No, we would have never--

I would have assumed you had, yeah

God damn it

We were still willing to be your friend

when we thought you were lying

Right

That's OK

But no, you proved us wrong

Good job, buddy

God damn it

After this is over, Flex is going to be like,

you know Steph can't come back anymore, right?

I know

I know

I'm putting in my two weeks notice

I'm assuming I'll never hear from you again

It's fine

That was a good way out last time

Oh, dear

All right

That is everything for tonight

Before I hit some music

Finally

Before I hit music, I will say, hi to Vanessa

Hi, Vanessa

For maybe the last time

Only for me

You'll be back, Flex

This just isn't my last time

Somebody's last

Maybe you guys do the show and give me a break or something

No, because I don't want to be in charge of making

everybody get back on track

Yeah, I don't know how to do it

Yeah, it's hard

I don't get paid enough

All right, I'm going to hit some music

Follow us on the socials

@misstipsysocks on the 'gram

Don't forget Beer Nerd Radio

Of course, @craftbeerrepublic, @flexmeabeer_

I think that's all the 'grams

Steph, thanks for hanging out with us

Yeah, any time

Thank you so much

What a blast

Yeah, no matter what Flex said, I had a lot of fun

Those were good times

Always

Such a good time

What else?

805-538-BEER

Call us or something

I think that's everything

I hope everyone is as hydrated as we are

One

And on that note, good night, everybody