In the 1980s, a psychologist named Dr. Hugh Len reportedly began working with a ward of severely mentally ill patients at Hawaii State Hospital. But according to the story, he did something extraordinary. Rather than treating the patients directly, he would read their files and practice a Hawaiian healing method called ho' oponopono on himself. And over time, patients supposedly began improving. Medications were reduced, people were discharged, and eventually, as the story goes, the ward literally closed down because all the patients got better. So what was he doing? He was repeating four simple phrases. Thank you, I love you. I'm sorry, Please forgive me. But there's something about that that never made sense to me until recently. Look, if somebody else is creating the problem, if somebody hurts you or betrays you or simply triggers the hell out of you, why are you saying, I'm sorry, please forgive me? Who are you asking to forgive you? And why would changing something inside of you have any effect on what's happening outside of you? Underneath ho' oponopono is a radical idea. The problems appearing in your external reality are actually revealing something that needs to be healed within your own consciousness. So in this episode, I'm going to show you what ho' oponopono actually is. The surprising truth about where these four phrases came from and what they really mean. How you can use this practice to release resentment, transform the beliefs underneath them, and potentially change the reality that you're creating. So let's get into it.

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All right, guys, let's start by clearing up one of the biggest misconceptions about Ho'. Oponopono. If you've encountered the practice on YouTube or TikTok or Instagram or somewhere in the manifestation world, you can. You've probably been taught that ho' oponopono is four phrases. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I Love you. You think about a person or a problem, you repeat those phrases, and supposedly you're cleaning the energy around the situation. But that's not actually where hooponopono began. So the word ho' oponopono roughly means to correct or to make right. And traditionally, this was a Hawaiian practice of restoring harmony within families and communities. And this wasn't necessarily something that you did sitting alone in your bedroom, repeating four sentences. This was a relational process. It was something had happened. For example, there was a conflict, some kind of rupture in the family, and then people came together, often with an elder facilitating the process. There could be prayer. The problem was brought into the open. People acknowledged what they had done, grievances were discussed. And eventually, when possible, the conflict was released and the relationship was restored. But I want you to think about how different that is from the way most of us deal with resentment. Like, we don't bring these things into the light. Instead, we carry them around. We replay the conversation while we're driving, arguing for days in our head, feeling guilty, maybe about something we said or did. And meanwhile, the event happened five years ago, right? The other person has completely forgotten about it, but inside of us, it's happening over and over and over again. Traditional ho' oponopono recognized something really profound. Unresolved conflicts don't simply disappear because the event is over. Something has to bring the relationship back into balance, and that was ho'. Oponopono. But then something happened to ho' oponopono that ultimately led to the version most people know today. In the 20th century, a Hawaiian healer and teacher named Morna Simeona developed a modernized form of ho' oponopono known as self identity through ho'. Oponopono. And she made a significant change. The process no longer required everyone involved in the conflict to participate and think about how important that is. Because what happens if the person that hurt you won't talk to you? Or what happens if they don't think they did anything wrong? Or what happens if the person died 20 years ago? Does your healing now depend upon their willingness to participate? And Morna's answer was essentially no. The work could happen within just you. And eventually, one of the people most closely associated with this modern form of ho' oponopono was a psychologist named Dr. Hugh Len. And Hugh Lent taught an extremely radical concept. And this was called 100% responsibility. Now, I want to explain what 100% responsibility means. It does not mean everything another person does is my fault. It does not mean if somebody abused Me, I caused the abuse. Responsibility and culpability are two completely different things. In other words, someone else can be entirely responsible for an action that they took. But if their action is now producing anger, fear, resentment, shame, or pain inside of you, there is something happening inside of your consciousness that you now have an opportunity to work with. And the modern ho' oponopono teaching goes even further. It suggests that the problems appearing in our experience are, uh, connected to memories or programs replaying inside of us. So rather than asking, how do I resolve this with a person that has offended me? You begin asking, what is happening inside of me and how can I allow it to heal or resolve? And that question changes everything. And this brings us back to the question that I had when I first encountered this practice. Okay, somebody hurts me, and I'm supposed to say, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you, I love you. Like, why am I apologizing? And who am I apologizing to? And so, within this modern what's called self identity approach, the cleaning process ultimately involves a relationship between you, the memories, and divinity, or whatever the higher power is of your own identification. So you're not necessarily standing in front of the other person who betrayed you saying, I'm sorry, you betrayed me, please forgive me. That's not the point. You're turning inward. You're acknowledging that something has been activated within my consciousness. I'm taking responsibility for what's happening within me, and I'm petitioning the divine for the memories or programs associated with it to be released. Now, I want to draw a really clear line here. What I'm about to give you is my interpretation of this practice through the work that I've been doing for the last 15 years around beliefs and consciousness. I'm not telling you that this is the traditional Hawaiian definition of each phrase, okay? I'm telling you what I think these four phrases can represent when we understand them through the frameworks that I teach. So let's imagine somebody says something that really pisses me off. My first instinct is to focus entirely on them. Like, how could you say that? Or they're wrong, or they're disrespectful. They shouldn't treat me this way. But what I've learned to ask is a different question. Why did this particular experience produce such a powerful reaction in me? Because that's information. Maybe what they said activated I'm, um, not being respected. Or maybe it triggered I'm not good enough, or people don't appreciate me, or I'm being taken advantage of, or I can't trust people. Whatever it is, the external event has just revealed an internal pattern. It touched an existing wound, it activated an existing belief. It revealed something that was already available to me, but that I wasn't aware of. And suddenly the first phrase takes on an entirely different meaning. Thank you. Not thank you for betraying me. Not thank you for abusing me. Not thank you for treating me terribly. But thank you for revealing something inside of me that I couldn't see. Because if I can't see it, I can't transform it. And now the trigger becomes information, the problem becomes an opportunity, and the external world becomes a mirror. And this is where I want to take Ho' oponopono a little further into David Baer world. And again, I'm distinguishing this from the historical teaching. Our beliefs create the lens through which we experience reality. And most of those beliefs were formed through experiences that happened a very long time ago. Maybe dad left. Maybe mom criticized you. Maybe kids bullied you. And you didn't simply experience what happened. You decided what it meant. Dad leaving meant I'm not important. Mom criticizing you meant I'm not good enough. Your partner cheating on you meant I can't trust people. And now something extraordinary happens. The event ends, but the belief continues. The belief becomes part of the operating system through which you interpret everything that happens next. So 20 years later, someone does something relatively minor. Suddenly you experience a disproportionate emotional reaction. Why? Because you're not only responding to what happened today, you're responding to everything. Today means because of yesterday. And that's why I think triggers are so valuable. A, uh, trigger tells you where the charge still is. And that's where my interpretation of these four phrases can be extremely helpful. Thank you. Thank you for showing me what I couldn't see. Thank you for revealing the belief. Thank you for revealing the resentment. Thank you for showing me where I'm still carrying the past into the present. I love you. I bring love to the part of myself that developed this belief. I stopped judging it. I stopped fighting it. I stopped trying to make it disappear. And perhaps, eventually, I can even bring love to the other person. Not because what they did was okay, but because I no longer require hatred in order to protect myself. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding I've continued to carry. I'm sorry for the ways I've used this experience as evidence that I'm not enough. I'm not safe, I'm not loved, or life isn't supporting me. I'm sorry for the ways I've unconsciously continued recreating this pattern, please forgive me. I ask for forgiveness for my participation in keeping this misunderstanding alive. I release my attachment to the story. I release my need to keep proving that. That it happened. I release my need for the other person to change before I can be free. And whether you understand, forgive me as speaking to God or divinity or your higher self or even some deeper aspect of your own consciousness, the intention is the same. I am ready to let this go. You know, I mentioned the story about Dr. Hugh Len, which was probably more than anything else, the reason why Ho' oponopono became so famous. And it's an incredible story. But what I want to be responsible in how I tell it, because it's repeated online constantly. I have not found clinical documentation that verifies the extraordinary version of the story exactly as it's usually told. So consider this part of the lore surrounding modern Ho', oponopono, rather than scientific evidence. But the story is that Hugh Len worked with a ward of severely mentally ill patients at Hawaii State Hospital. And according to the story, he didn't sit down and conduct conventional psychotherapy with each patient. Instead, he would read their files and his. As he encountered the disturbing things these patients had done. He practiced Ho'. Oponopono. But here's the remarkable part. He wasn't trying to heal them. He used it to clean and clear himself. So the story claims that over time, the patients improved, Medications and restraints were reduced, the working environment changed, patients were discharged. Eventually the ward closed. Now, again, I can't substantiate these extraordinary claims with the kind of documentation I would need to present them to you as scientific facts. But forget the miraculous part of the story for a moment, because the underlying idea is fascinating enough. Hugh Len wasn't asking what's wrong with these people. He was asking what's happening within me as I experience these people. And that is a completely different relationship with reality. And this is where Ho' oponopono becomes particularly interesting to me, because what if the experiences that we encounter aren't random? What if reality is constantly providing feedback about the contents of your consciousness? So this doesn't mean I thought a negative thought, and therefore somebody crashed into my car. And it certainly doesn't mean that someone who experienced abuse should be told, you attracted your abuse. But what I'm saying is much more nuanced. I believe there is an ongoing correspondence between our internal world and the experiences through which our consciousness evolves. And therefore, when something appears in my life, that produces enormous emotional charge. I've learned not to immediately reject it, but to understand that there's something inside of me that needs to experience this, that is ready to work through this so that I can get to the next level. And as long as I deny the experience or argue with the experience, I stay caught in the loop. Like, as soon as I take responsibility for it and I go inward and I look to see what needs to be healed, I set myself up for moving beyond it. You know, resentment keeps you trapped in the loop. Think about it. Resentment maintains the emotions, the beliefs, and the details of the original experience. Every time you replay what happened, your body responds. Every time you tell the story, you reinforce its meaning. Every time you reinforce the meaning, you strengthen the belief. And every time you strengthen the belief, you increase the probability that you'll continue interpreting and responding to reality through the resentment. So the past continues creating the future. Not because the event is still happening, because the event is still happening inside of you. And this is why. You can leave one relationship and find the same relationship again. You can leave one bad business partnership and find the same bad business partnership again. You can move to another city, you can change jobs, you can switch out friends, rotate spouses, change circumstances, Somehow find yourself saying, why does this keep happening to me? Because you change the scenery without changing the pattern. And, uh, that's why forgiveness can be such a powerful act. Forgiveness doesn't change what happened. Forgiveness changes whether or not you allow what happened to continue to exist in your current reality. That's a very different understanding of forgiveness. So I want to invite you into a practice. The next time something triggers you, don't immediately try to make the trigger disappear. Don't immediately send a text or defend yourself or explain why the other person is wrong. Give yourself a few minutes and ask, what is this revealing in me? And maybe it's anger. So stay with it. What's underneath the anger? Maybe it's. They don't respect me. Okay, cool. What's the belief? I'm not respected. Fantastic. See if you can go a little deeper. What does it mean about you? That I'm not important. Boom, there it is. Now you have something to work with. And this is where I would use the four phrases. Thank you. Thank you for showing me this. I couldn't transform something I couldn't see. I love you. I bring love to this part of myself. The younger version of me who formed this belief wasn't stupid. He was trying to make sense of an experience. He did the best that he could with the consciousness that he had. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for continuing to carry this misunderstanding. I'm sorry for every way I've continued using the past as evidence of who I am today. And please forgive me, God, divinity, consciousness. Please forgive me for my misunderstanding. Help me release the memory, the resentment, the belief, the emotional charge associated with this experience. And then I would add something from my own work that isn't part of the traditional Ho' oponopono practice. I'd ask yourself, what do I choose to believe now? Maybe I'm respected, I'm worthy, I'm safe. I'm loved. And then who would I be in this situation if that were what I actually believed? Maybe you would still confront the person. Maybe you'd establish a boundary. Maybe you'd just leave the environment. Forgiveness doesn't make you passive. It makes your action cleaner. Because now you're no longer acting from the wound, you're acting from choice. And maybe that's the deeper wisdom inside Ho'. Oponopono. Somebody triggers you. Reality presents something you don't like. And instead of immediately asking, how do I change this? You ask, what is this revealing in me? Thank you for showing me. I love the part of myself that this is revealed. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding that I've carried. Please forgive me as I release it. Because ultimately, forgiveness isn't saying what happened was okay. It's saying what happened no longer gets to determine who I am. The other person doesn't need to apologize. They don't need to understand. They don't need to participate. They may never change because you're no longer waiting for them to set you free. You're clearing what's happening within you. And perhaps that's why four simple phrases have resonated with millions of people. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Not as magic words, but as a practice of responsibility, a practice of release, and ultimately a practice of becoming free. So look, if you want some help identifying where you may be ready to let go, uh, of some limiting beliefs or resentments, I've got an amazing tool for you. It is still in the description of the show notes. It is the David AI powered assessment and only takes about three minutes. It's absolutely free. It's going to help you identify three big beliefs or resentments that you're still holding onto and give you access to a powerful tool that we teach called the Decision Matrix to help you transform them. If you haven't yet, by the way, subscribe. Become a part of our community hit that bell icon. I come out with two episodes every single week and it is just the greatest joy to see our community growing so quickly. 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