I like Topgolf,
I like hitting a bucket of balls.
I just like getting drunk and driving a golf cart.
Like,
where do I sign up for that?
I do like getting drunk.
Welcome in,
everybody!
It's the Craft Beer Republic.
Thanks for drinking.
Thanks for joining.
There's everyone's favorite Tiger Woods of the West...
Of the West?
Of the Midwest.
What's up,
Flexi?
Not much,
just,
uh...
Uh,
shaping up my swinging.
My golf game.
I shouldn't say swinging,
that's something totally different.
[laughter] Trying to shape up my golf game.
[laughter] Going derry.
Yeah,
downhill right away.
Yeah,
started from the bottom,
now we're lower.
Uh,
and then joining us from the land of five percenters...
Everybody knows there's Miss Tipsy Socks.
It's our friend Steph.
What's happening?
Hi,
uh,
beer is happening.
Yay!
Soon to be the land of a professional hockey team.
That's the word on the street.
But not a hockey show.
I had no idea they were getting a professional hockey team.
They're working on it,
yeah.
The Coyotes.
Much better name than the Jazz.
Now,
the Jazz are originally from New Orleans.
I know,
and the Hornets are originally from Utah.
And they actually,
at one point,
tried to switch their names back,
and I think it was...
But I think it was Utah that said,
"No,
we're not changing." I don't know.
I didn't know that,
actually.
Yeah,
the Hornets,
when they moved to Louisiana,
where the Jazz were originally from,
when they moved back to Louisiana,
they said,
"Hey,
do you guys want a Swapsy Doodle,
since,
like,
this makes more sense?" Is that verbatim?
Swapsy Doodle.
Yeah,
word for word.
Check the transcript.
"Hey,
Sippity-bop-bop,
what do you guys think?" Well,
it's the Jazz.
"Don't we give you some Swapsy Doodles on the names?" He went straight from Louis to,
like,
Cosby.
It got real rapey in here for a minute.
But yeah,
the Utah Jazz were like,
"No,
we're good being the Utah Jazz for no apparent reason." Right,
it makes no sense,
but it is what it is.
They're the ones that shot it down.
One of my favorite lines from basketball is when they say the Jazz moved to Utah,
where they don't allow music.
You're not wrong.
We like hymns.
Hymns are good.
And nothing else.
Here we are.
Oh,
@craftbeerrepublic,
@miss_tipsysocks,
and flexmebeer_ is in between.
Had to get the bidness done.
And also,
Steph is also on the Beer Nerd Radio.
You're on,
like,
real radio,
not fake radio like us.
I am,
like,
live radio,
no swearing allowed.
I was going to say,
is it hard not to swear?
One time I said,
"Fuck," on air,
and I didn't sleep that night.
Did the FCC call you the next day?
No,
"What happens?" And they're like,
"Well,
someone has to report it." And I was like,
"Our listeners aren't going to report that,
so I'm fine." Yeah,
it does have to be reported before they'll do anything.
And I think you have to get X amount of reports before they'll give a shit.
It's rough.
The FCC won't let me be,
or let me be,
so let me see.
Think Slims.
Which of us is the real Slim Chase?
Oh,
please stand up.
Yeah,
that would be my biggest fear about being on the radio,
like,
"Oh,
I can't cuss?" Ugh.
Yeah,
it's rough.
I've gotten pretty good.
Yeah,
I'm pretty good,
I have to say.
You did say "bass-ackwards" on the last show.
Did you notice that?
Oh,
yeah,
100%.
I didn't know whether to make fun of you or be proud of you for that.
Is that a Midwest thing?
Because I say things like,
"Yeah,
no," and-- That's super Midwest.
I just thought that was just normal.
Yeah,
no,
yeah.
Yeah,
it's a thing.
No,
no.
No,
no,
no.
What the fuck?
You don't know who you're talking?
All this slang?
You guys are hardcore.
Gangsta.
Yeah.
I'm more in a couple weeks-- well,
a week,
I think,
at this point,
as this drops.
I have to officiate my sister's-- Flex,
did you know my sister's getting married?
What?
Your sister?
You got a sister?
Yeah,
I don't know.
And she's getting married?
Yeah,
had no idea,
right?
That's crazy.
No,
God,
no.
I have to officiate the wedding.
I'm like,
even though I've written my whole thing,
and I know what I'm going to say,
and all I have to do is fucking read.
All I got to do is read.
I'm worried that there will be some sort of F-bomb that comes out somewhere,
even though it's not written in the thing.
Well,
surely they know who your dad is by now,
so I think they would get it.
Do you guys have the same dad?
Yeah,
oh,
yeah.
I mean,
if what my mom says is true-- Potentially so.
Yeah,
same sparklets guy.
So you'll be fine at it.
It's like you're a man.
Yeah,
you'll be good.
I'm sorry.
What was that again?
Yeah.
I was going to say you're a man of words,
and you have a way with words.
You do.
It mangled up into just-- That's how I'm going to sound after I have a couple of beers and trying to officiate a wedding.
it's going to be real great.
Just try to pronounce Linenkugels.
Or Cumulative.
Cumulative?
That was a tough one.
That was a rough one last week,
let me tell you.
I am kind of pissed I haven't gotten an AI invite to the wedding.
I can make it happen.
Just a little sometimes,
you know?
You want to chat GBT eight paragraph long invitation?
Well,
yeah,
just because-- Dear Mr.
Flex.
She's been getting married for so long now.
Or actually it'd be Dear Mr.
A-Beer.
A-Beer,
right.
Yeah,
we respectfully request your presence at the most glorious of events taking place.
I don't know.
I'm going to stop there.
Is that your official last name,
A-Beer?
Yes.
On your birth certificate?
Middle name is me.
Yeah,
it's Flex.
Middle name me.
Last name A-Beer.
Mr.
A-Beer.
Yeah,
Mr.
A-Beer.
It's a real thing.
That's convenient.
You chose the right Instagram hobby.
Or I just was given the perfect name,
you know?
Yeah.
Thanks to your parents for that one.
Yeah,
thanks,
mom and dad.
Yeah.
Love you guys.
Props,
Mr.
and Mrs.
Flex.
A-Beer.
Me.
A-Beer.
Yeah,
no.
Is dad Flex Senior,
or is there a lineage there?
Yeah,
I'm a second,
but I don't like to brag about it.
You're an A-Beer Junior?
You're a MGD light?
Not MGD.
That shit's gross.
High life.
High life light.
Yeah,
MGD is nasty.
Get it right.
If there's anybody out there that could finish a can of MGD and tell me they liked it,
I'll give them a million dollars.
I've never had an MGD.
Oh,
it's not good.
Oh,
you're missing out on nothing.
It's like every other crap beer.
It's almost as bad as drinking a Budweiser.
It's terrible.
Would you say it's like 1% less bad?
Yes.
Yeah.
1% less bad than a regular Budweiser.
I think Budweiser is the one macro beer I haven't had in the longest.
There's reasons for that.
Yeah,
like I'll have some high lives or some banquet,
whatever.
Even a Bud Light here and there if I'm forced to.
But a Budweiser,
I can't tell you the last time I had a real Budweiser.
The dive bars all serve like a banquet or a high life.
Or if you go to a sporting event,
it's like Bud Light or Coors Light.
But like a solid Budweiser.
And Budweiser growing up,
man,
what a facade,
right?
They had the best commercials.
Yeah,
the Clydesdales and the funny commercials.
Right,
you own the horses with fluffy feet?
Come on.
The what's up,
guys?
Those were great commercials.
The chameleons,
right?
Some people forgot about the chameleon.
They were just great.
Steve Austin,
not a wrestling show,
but.
Sometimes.
Boy,
that guy would just chug those things down,
making them look like they're fucking the best,
right?
So when you turn 21,
you're like,
oh,
man,
I'm going to get a Budweiser.
That'd be just like Stone Cold.
That shit rocks,
right?
I'm going to call my buddies and go,
what's up?
Right?
They're funny as hell and badass Stone Cold drinks them.
So I'm going to be a funny badass now and drinking them.
And you take one sip and you're just like.
Almost like the noise,
but more of a.
The visual was better than anything.
Sometimes I wish this was a video show just for the visuals,
I guess.
Yeah.
Flex wins.
Overall,
it's probably best that it's not.
Yes.
All the listeners.
Yeah.
And viewers.
Yeah,
too.
Every now and then,
though,
flex will get naked.
I think that's when we'd really gain some viewership.
Not tonight.
Now,
it's a little chilly tonight,
but.
But yeah,
I have been known to do some skimmy shows.
Yeah,
sometimes in the summer.
It's a little toasty.
I mean,
if you need somebody to be your third,
I'm around.
I got Steph and Mel and Erica.
Why do all the girls want to be on this week?
Oh,
it's 98 degrees in Wisconsin.
Got it.
OK.
I can't.
I can't fight either Erica or Mel.
They're both probably stronger than me.
So.
Oh,
yeah.
The only thing I have going for me is I'm Samoan.
Are you related to the rock by any chance?
All Samoans are related.
I was going to say.
Come on,
cuz.
Five degrees of separation.
Ha ha ha.
He's our Kevin Bacon,
for sure.
But way cooler.
For sure.
Yeah.
I mean,
I have one.
I have Kevin Bacon once saved a town that couldn't dance.
Listen,
did you guys know he's coming back here?
You know,
that town was in Utah,
right?
That makes sense.
The kids that live in that town have been appealing to him.
Like,
please come to our prom.
And he said,
yes,
he's come on.
No,
I'm dead serious.
I think I'd rather have the rock at my prom.
Same.
Who are we kidding?
Oh,
but you know what?
Not a Kevin Bacon show.
But it would kill me if he was in,
like,
the middle of a gymnasium and he just yelled,
"Let's dance!" You know,
I think I would be able to die happy.
It's happening.
It's gonna happen.
It's like right there on the gymnasium floor.
Just I'll die.
Just scream,
"Let's dance." It's like an hour from my house,
Lehigh,
Utah.
It's happening.
Gonna try and,
like,
dress super young and walk into the dance.
"I don't care." No,
I'm gonna stay as far away as possible.
Not interested.
Yes,
I go to this school.
She sounds like a drunk Alaskan person all of a sudden.
I knew you were gonna say that.
I've only had two beers today.
Please pour me another.
No,
I'm gonna stay home.
Thanks.
Smart.
Smart choice.
All right,
speaking of beers.
Not a Kevin Bacon show.
Oh,
man.
I am drinking.
Imprint Beer Company,
collaboration with Vitamin C Brewing.
Squid Prince.
Flex,
this is eight and a half percent.
Hell yeah.
That's a four,
one,
three,
and untapped,
they say.
We reprised a 2021 Haze It Forward collab.
Concocted with our mass buddies,
Vitamin C Brewing.
Double dry hopped.
Wouldn't it be weird if it was Vitamin C,
the late 90s pop star that they collaborated with?
With the orange hair?
Glad it's not.
She was great.
That'd be wild.
Double dry hopped with Rojaca,
Citra,
and El Dorado.
Huge pineapple,
peach,
vanilla ice cream,
and misty orange grove.
Maritime bliss.
I want some.
That is like a sweet summer day.
Like a hoppy dessert.
So on the schnaz,
I get a lot of like,
it's like a peachy creaminess.
I guess that's the peach vanilla ice cream.
Ooh,
really getting the peach coming through.
What if they collab with 112 on that too?
Oh,
peaches and cream.
Daddy like.
Oh boy.
Not creepy at all.
The tongue dropper,
you get a little of that,
but a lot more pineapple and a lot more orange.
Very citrusy and a little dank on the finish.
It's nice.
Nice for an eight and a half percenter.
This is going to come back to haunt me halfway through the show.
It's okay.
We're happy.
I'm excited.
I can't wait for that to happen.
As I try to read a story,
it's like,
"Ugh,
cumulative." Yeah,
it'd be great.
So anyways,
this is delicious.
You'll never live that one down.
I'm glad I was here for it.
Yeah.
I thought you were speaking a different language.
Akuma to lively.
Hakuna Matata.
Last week's show,
if you guys don't know what we're talking about,
go back to 404.
Yeah.
Not embarrassing whatsoever.
My abilities to not speak.
Oh,
what's going on?
You guys doing any good research lately,
Stephanie?
Good Utah beer research.
So you mentioned that I do a radio show about beer,
right?
And we do research.
You guys drink the good shit on that show.
We do.
We had some great beers last week.
My co-host does a feature called New Beer Friday.
And so he checks out every single new beer that he can get his hands on in the Utah brewing community.
I don't like that.
I might steal that.
Sometimes I join him and sometimes I'm unable to.
But it's all about the research.
Oh,
it's so important.
You got to learn about all the things you're going to talk about.
Uh,
I can't remember any of them.
Fair.
Not because they were bad,
but because I have no brain cells left.
Well,
you know,
a little hydration happened.
And,
uh,
yeah.
Yep.
Is there any weird?
I don't know if you know this answer.
Is any weird FCC rules about drinking on the radio?
I don't think so.
Because I know on TV,
I think you can't do it before 10 o'clock.
You shouldn't drink on the radio because you might break it.
You're on it.
Or you might actually cuss.
But yeah,
we do have teeny,
teeny,
tiny little tasting tables.
That was a lot of teeth that are far away from the soundboard.
We're very careful about that.
So yeah,
I'm,
I'm super smart.
My glass is about four inches from the mixing board right now.
Yeah.
It's,
we're very careful.
Uh,
there are big signs around the studio that say no beverages except for beer nerd radio.
Oh,
that's awesome.
Wow.
That's cool.
Right.
I've never been allowed to do something different than anybody else before.
It's first in my life.
In my 58 years of life.
Don't sell yourself short.
We know you're 73.
I look so good for my age.
Hottest 73 year old ever.
Like that,
that 27 minute scare skincare routine you have going on.
It's doing its job.
It works.
There's a lot of collagen involved.
A lot of hydrolonic acid as the commercials say.
Exactly.
So yes,
research is part of my life.
Love it.
I love that I can say hydrolonic,
but not cumulative.
It's okay.
I can't say circumference unless I think about it.
You just said it though.
My mouth wants to say circumference,
which is not the word.
Not the same.
No.
Yeah.
Flex,
would you like to correct both of us today?
Probably.
No,
great work.
All right.
Flex,
any research over there,
fella?
Aside from just some golf beers?
No.
But Eagle Park is having their joint festival.
I'm sorry,
coming in?
Right.
Or shit,
having,
had,
had.
It's a joint festival?
No,
I'm sorry.
Cut this part out.
It was last weekend.
But also joint festival?
Right.
Okay.
So they call it joint fest.
All right.
So they had it.
It already happened.
It was fantastic.
Right.
Tell us about it.
So they collab with like 12 breweries around the country.
And roll the world's biggest joint.
Most,
like some in-state people,
some out-of-state peeps.
And then they release these 12 packs.
It's two six packs,
but six plus six equals 12.
Thanks for the help on that.
Well,
hey,
maybe you didn't know that it was a cumulatively.
A cumulatively?
Yeah.
Community,
I got it.
Maybe you didn't know it.
So I'm just teaching you.
And so I haven't researched the joint beers yet.
I'm still confused about the joint,
the word joint.
Is this collaboration or like Cheech and Chong?
It's like a play on words.
It's like a twofer,
like a innuendo,
if you will.
Right,
right.
That was impressive.
It was really good.
So yeah,
so I'm just,
I will eventually get my hands on that.
And then I'll do a little flexi research.
Nice.
Yeah.
I like a little flexi research.
Cheers to the future.
Run for it,
Marty.
I had to do a little work traveling last week.
I was at,
I had to go up north to the San Francisco area.
I was in the Bay Area.
But on the way up there,
so I stopped at the airport bar before I left town.
I was having a beverage or two.
The lady next,
this is the best,
the lady sits down next to me.
She goes,
you know,
she ordered her like Jack and Diet,
whatever,
pounds it.
The thing is gone in minutes.
The bartender comes up,
she goes,
"Hey,
you want another soda?" Lady goes,
"Huh?" "Do you want another Diet Pepsi?" "What?" "Do you want another soda?" It finally clicks for the customer.
She goes,
"That's why it tasted so weak.
I thought I was just an alcoholic and couldn't taste the booze." Bartender goes,
"Oh,
I'm so sorry.
I even repeated back to you Diet Pepsi.
And you said,
yes,
I thought you just wanted a Diet Pepsi.
What was it supposed to be?" She goes,
"A Jack and Diet Pepsi." So she got herself a free soda before the real drink came.
Jack and Pepsi?
Drinking Jack and Pepsi?
Well,
they didn't have Coke at the bar.
She just said,
"Diet." And she goes,
"We have Diet Pepsi.
Is that okay?" Like,
nobody wants Pepsi.
It's...
No,
Pepsi is the worst.
It's the worst.
I mean,
Diet Pepsi is good.
No,
Flex.
Over Diet Coke?
Coke Zero.
I grew up a Pepsi drinker.
We were a Pepsi household.
No,
nope.
Coke all the way.
Sorry.
Like nothing hits like a cheese quesadilla and an ice cold Pepsi.
How about a cheese quesadilla and a Coke?
There you go.
No,
I'm telling you.
Something about the Pepsi and the cheese quesadilla just fucking smacks.
That what he just said sounded...
Christopher Walken's voice came for some reason.
I can't do a Christopher Walken impersonation or I would,
but yeah.
Quesadilla.
When he said there's something about a cheese quesadilla and a Pepsi.
I'm not going to try.
No,
me neither.
Well,
I'm sorry to hear that,
Flex.
I've been good while it lasted.
I'll see myself out.
So while I was up there working,
I found this place called Wondrous Brewing.
Stumbled in.
Delicious.
I think I impressed the beer tender a little bit.
Obviously he didn't know who I was.
I'm a big shot,
but I walked in and I was like,
"Hey,
can I get a flight?" He goes,
"Well,
we don't do flights,
but you kind of like piece it out individually." I was like,
"All right." I'd never been there.
I wanted to try a few things.
So I ordered three or four.
I got the Hellas,
a Pale,
an IPA,
and one of the other lagers.
I can't remember.
Oh,
they're a dark Czech lager.
I was like,
"How's that?
Am I missing anything?" He's like,
"No,
you really covered the board." I'm like,
"I want to try everything." But really good.
Wondrous Brewing.
Got a four pack to go because Southwest,
you can check your bags for free.
So I always smuggle booze home whenever I'm on the road.
Throw some cans in a trash bag from the hotel room and wrap them up under my jacket in the suitcase and check the bag.
Well,
it's really late for the airport.
Did not have time to check my bag,
which I ended up missing my flight.
Spoiler alert.
So I could have checked my bag because then I had to take a later flight.
I get up to TSA and I was like,
"Hey,
but I have beer in my luggage.
It's very much sealed in a can that could not have been opened without being very opened,
like a beer can." And he goes,
"You can let it go through,
but they're going to take it from you up there." I was like,
"Any chance they won't take it from me?
Or if I declare it or take it out,
I can take it with me?" He's like,
"No,
they'll throw it away.
You might as well just throw it away here." I said,
"All right,
any chance I could just hand it to you and you could take it home and drink it?" And he goes,
"Oh,
I wish." I'm like,
"I don't think you understand how much I don't want to throw this beer away.
Can I set it behind the trash can?
And then on your lunch break,
you come snag it or something?" He's like,
"Nah." He's laughing with me.
So we were having a good time.
I said,
"Well,
here's the thing.
As you can see,
this isn't a very clean bag right now.
If I put it in the trash can and you happen to come back to this trash can later,
they will still be in the bag and very safe from whatever anybody else has thrown away in this trash can.
And I'm going to go ahead and think that you drank them tonight." I felt so bad throwing them away.
That's terrible.
The last time I was in California,
I went drinking on my way to the airport and forgot how much beer was in my carry-on bag.
So I accidentally signed up for Clear,
but that's another story.
I went to go through...
And now you're paying 20 bucks a month.
I went to go through Clear and I was like,
"Shit,
I have beer in my bag." And I'd stopped at Pure Project and I was like,
"I have beer in my bag.
I did the exact same thing.
Is there any way?" And they were like,
"No." And I was like,
"I don't want to just throw it away." And the girl said,
"I mean,
if you leave it next to this garbage can right here next to me,
then maybe someone will find it." And I felt better because,
yeah,
I don't want to just throw away great beer.
Yeah.
I had one at the hotel room,
which meant there was three cans left.
And I felt so horrible because it was the last four-pack of that specific beer.
I was like,
"So not only am I wasting beer,
I'm wasting the last four-pack." Oh,
so mad.
It hurts your soul a little bit.
It does.
And look,
I threw away maybe $15 worth of beer.
Financially,
not a huge loss.
Not a huge loss,
right.
But here I am a week later,
still killing me deep inside.
I feel so bad that I had to throw that beer away.
Well,
you know what kind of cheapskate I am,
man.
That would haunt me for weeks.
It is haunting me for weeks.
Knowing that I would just have to...
Can you even consider that wasting?
There's got to be a worse word for it.
I think it's a crime against humanity.
Neglect.
Yeah.
Alcohol abuse.
Oh,
it's terrible.
That's a different kind of abuse,
but yes.
Still abusive.
So anyways,
Wondrous Brewing,
if you happen to be listening.
First of all,
your beer is fantastic.
And I'm so sorry I had to waste it,
especially since I ended up missing my flight anyways.
Yeah,
that's the worst.
That's a little bit...
We got done at work a little early and I was like,
"Oh,
let's try and get you on an earlier flight," because we were going out of town that night.
I was like,
"Okay,
great." Should have stayed on my original flight and brought my beer home with me.
All right,
before we find out what Steph's drinking over there...
Ludicrous Libation Law.
This one comes,
surprise,
from Utah.
Apparently,
for restaurants,
it is illegal to offer alcohol beverage lists unless a customer specifically requests one.
I didn't know that.
Well,
now you have homework.
I...
No,
there's a...
No,
I don't think...
Is that right?
So if you go to a restaurant,
will they just have a wine list or a beer list on the table?
Yeah,
on the table.
Already there?
Are you telling me the internet was wrong?
I don't feel like that's right because...
But now I'm guessing it because the restaurant we go to most often is actually a brewery,
but it's also a restaurant.
But when I sit down at the table,
there is an alcohol list on the table.
But there are often times when I'm like,
do you..." Is it a brewery or a restaurant though?
It's both.
So they are a brewery,
but they're also a restaurant.
So I don't know.
There are times though when I sit down and I'm like,
"Hey,
do you guys have a beer list?" And they're like,
"Oh yeah,
let me grab it for you." But it always seems like,
"Oh,
we forgot to leave it on the table." So I don't know.
Yeah,
just like the ketchup bottles.
Totally the same thing.
Right?
Like,
why do you go into a restaurant and they just don't have it on the table?
Like,
they make you fucking ask for it.
Like,
it is going to cost them something.
Like,
"Oh,
this guy looks like he's going to use way too much ketchup.
Better not put it on the table.
That one's really going to bite us in the pocket." To be fair,
Flex,
you do look like a man who uses way too much ketchup.
I'm going to leave.
Flex is like,
"I see your Heinz 57." I do enjoy me a lot of ketchup.
I am not a ketchup eater at this point in life.
I like it.
I don't like the smell.
The smell is too much.
What's wrong with the smell?
It's too sweet.
It smells like wet sugar.
Yeah,
she's right.
Huh?
To me,
it's like kid food.
Agreed.
I like ketchup on my french fries and my hamburgers,
but that's it.
That's what I'm saying.
It's not like I eat ketchup with everything.
When I was younger,
I did.
Just most things.
No,
that's not true.
All right.
What about ketchup on eggs?
No.
So gross.
I don't do it anymore.
Oh,
no,
but you did it once upon a time.
Oh,
yeah.
A little broken egg yolk and some ketchup.
What a combo.
I'm going to throw up now.
What about ketchup on your mac and cheese?
You ever do that?
Oh,
no.
The fuck is wrong with you?
Are you broken?
There's got to be somebody out there who used to do that,
too.
It was like a normal thing in the house.
That is so gross.
It was normal at my house,
but not for me.
I never,
ever.
See,
see,
see.
Abnormally normal.
It's a normal thing.
We're going to move on.
It's just so gross.
Yeah,
that's awful.
I don't do this stuff anymore.
But I had once in my life.
But you speak of it fondly.
He does.
He sounds like he's reminiscing.
Yeah.
Well,
I mean,
I used to be really gross when I was a kid.
And now it gets worse.
Oh,
this is like when I was really young.
I used to love butter,
right?
Like butter.
Did you just eat butter with a spoon?
No,
I like a butter knife.
You know,
you take a honk out of the spoon.
A honk.
That's the second time I've heard this word ever.
And the first time was straight from Flex.
Yeah.
So I would butter a piece of bread and then I would catch up another piece of bread.
And then I would.
You did you just verb?
Did you just verb a noun again?
Yeah.
And then I would.
I would bread those pieces together.
And I would have myself a little ketchup butter sandwich.
Oh,
my.
Oh,
my.
What?
This is the shortest episode of this podcast ever.
Good night,
everybody.
What?
Ketchup and butter?
Part of me wants to ask more.
And the other part of me wants to go throw up right now.
Don't knock it until you try it.
I'm going to not try it.
I'm still knocking it.
I'm going to keep knocking it.
Yeah.
Oh,
my childhood.
I I've always looked up to Flex.
I don't know him well,
but I always thought he was great.
This is where it ends.
Good while it lasted.
I was young.
Maybe you should just take your shirt off.
I tell him all the time.
Well,
I see what I'm wanted for.
After you talk about ketchup sandwiches.
Yes,
I was like seven.
I'm waiting for where this gets better.
It doesn't.
I mean,
you can't get better than ketchup.
And butter.
Well,
then I put baloney on it.
You guys ever do fried baloney when you were kids?
No,
no,
no.
All right.
Well,
you know what this is?
Not a baloney show.
And it's definitely not a ketchup show.
Oh,
God,
let's cleanse the palate and find out what's drinking over there.
He calls to the bullpen.
Screw you guys.
I'm going home.
You're already home.
Oh,
your ketchup palace.
Oh,
God.
Please tell me your beard does not have chunks of tomato in it.
No chunks of tomato.
You know what?
No.
Okay.
I'm not going to go there.
I am drinking from Greg's home state of California.
Ooh.
A Sikh beer.
Sikh makes fantastic beer.
So good.
I'm having a warm smile.
A tropical punch inspired fruited sour ale.
Let me tell you something in the style of.
I don't usually do smoothie beers.
But Sikh has yet to disappoint me with a smoothie beer.
They're fantastic.
This one is a 5.5.
Once again,
if you want to know what Untappd says,
go look at it.
Your damn self,
because I don't know.
All I know is my mouth says,
"Mmm,
this is so good." Your mouth literally just said that.
That's crazy.
Not wrong,
people.
That's crazy.
I have not had.
I've had quite a few Sikh beers.
I have not yet had one that I did not really,
really enjoy.
There are some places that you have a beer and you're like,
"Yeah,
that was drinkable,
but it wasn't anything fantastic." But Sikh is just putting out fantastic beer.
I hope they start distroing a little norther,
because it's not super easy for me to get my hands on.
We were down there right after he opened up.
And I actually got to meet him.
Super nice guy and had everything on tap.
Is this Mr.
Sikh?
Mr.
Sikh,
yeah.
It's actually Mr.
Sikh Co.
Yeah,
sorry.
Shame on me.
Yeah,
get it right.
But yeah,
man,
they're putting out some fucking amazing beer.
They really are.
They're fantastic.
I love it.
They have a great little spot.
There's two other breweries that share the same little courtyard.
Yeah,
a little co-op they got going on there.
So did you try Epic,
E-P-P-I-G,
Epic Brewing when you were down there in San Diego?
Did they share the same?
They used to be in Sikh's spot.
Oh,
no,
I've never had them.
Oh,
and great beer.
And now they have a waterfront garden and this other spot.
But they started where Sikh was,
because it's like a brewery incubator.
And they have like four spots.
And you rent out the brewing space and you take turns brewing.
And you have a little taproom area.
It's a cool little spot right there in North Park.
It is a great little spot.
Last time I was there,
they were doing dog adoption day.
And I was trying to size up all the dogs and figure out which one would fit in my suitcase.
Right.
I can take you.
And I can take you.
No,
it is a great spot.
It's really close to Pure and North Park.
And why can't I think of the name of the one that's owned by Tony Hawk?
Oh,
I know you're talking about Black Plague?
Yes.
Yeah.
They're great.
So I mean,
Fall Brewing's over there.
If you're if you're into the fucking sweetest beer in the world,
Belgian Bieber's over there.
Mike Hess is over there.
It's a great area.
Everything's walkable.
Yeah,
that was my bachelor party.
My bachelor party.
We went to 30th Street.
We started at Fall Brewing and we walked ourselves all the way down to Modern Times.
Look at you go.
Yeah.
You did the whole gambit.
Yeah.
I don't remember half of it,
but...
It must have been a good time then.
Yeah.
So I'm told.
But yeah,
if you have a chance to try out some Sikh,
I would highly recommend it.
I love their beer.
I always,
every time I go to San Diego,
I schlep some home in my suitcase.
Yeah.
Unless I have to leave it at the garbage can security.
It's crazy that both of you have garbage can beer stories.
It is kind of...
What does that say about us?
We're garbage can people.
I do often say that I am a raccoon.
So there you go.
We're a couple of trash pandas.
Yep.
Look,
my heart still hurts from that.
He probably was.
I'm worn out.
Planners.
You know,
I've had to say goodbye to people at the airport,
but that didn't hurt as much as saying goodbye to beer.
No,
people suck.
The best part was I'd bought that beer for my radio show co-host.
And I was like,
Mikey,
guess what?
I bought you some amazing beer up here.
And then I left it at the garbage can.
And I donated it to Clear.
And now they're charging me $40 a month.
It's a lot.
Yeah.
It's fine.
I used someone else's credit card.
Oh,
smart.
Sorry,
Shrek.
Not sorry.
Jesus.
Flex,
what are you drinking tonight?
Oh,
I just finished up a little flagship hazy for my boys over at EP.
Wait,
will you say that again?
I just finished.
The flagship part.
Yeah,
flagship hazy for my boys over at EP.
Flex has that really cute like flag,
like big flag.
He has like the umlaut over the A.
Umlaut?
Is it an umlaut?
I don't know.
I know what an umlaut is,
but that's not the sound I thought it made.
I don't know.
I just say flag.
You're a Midwesterner.
It's cute.
That's nice.
Whatever you say,
dude.
This is just brewed with some citrus simcoe mosaic.
Real simple,
yet very effective and tasty.
And it's 6.5% and get it in 12 packs.
Is that two six packs?
It is one.
It is one 12 pack.
A cumulative.
Cumulative.
A cumulative.
Cumulative,
yes.
Yeah.
Are they all hooked together,
though?
They are not.
Or is it two separate?
So it's two six packs.
Yes.
I've never seen a 12 pack.
I thought you meant are the cans all stuck together?
Can everyone try to pull them apart from each other?
Got a sticky 12 packs you buying.
Freak.
You freak.
Come to Utah,
where we buy sticky 12 packs.
There's a lot of hot glue in town.
Also,
you know they're not allowed to buy 12 beers at a time in Utah.
They're like a two beer max.
They have 11 packs because it's illegal to buy 12 beers.
As long as the cumulative ABV is like less than 12%,
so each one gets 1%,
then you're good to go.
Perfect.
Everybody enjoy your NA beer,
half a percentage.
Come to Utah,
where you can buy water.
You're right.
Well,
I mean,
it's all hot glue together.
It's fine.
It's like there's a hot glue accident.
We like our crafts.
It would shut down the entire economy if they had a hot glue accident.
I'm going to steer the ship off these rocky waters.
Breaking news,
the world's running short on hot glue.
Utah ruined it.
But you know what,
you guys?
This is not a show about hot glue.
It is not.
As Greg would say.
Not a hot glue show.
Well,
it's kind of a couple Utah shows.
If you guys are reaching for cocktails,
what's your cocktail that you're reaching for?
Usually a Manhattan or a dirty gin martini.
Oh,
very James Bond of you.
And in my Manhattan,
I do ask for olives to be garnished with it instead of cherries.
Oh,
look at your fancy ass pants.
You're such an adult sometimes.
I know how to do things.
Yeah,
as long as you don't ask for ketchup in it,
we're good.
Flex has two sides.
Ketchup and olives.
Can I have a Manhattan with some sweet ketchup?
No,
you stop there.
I wish everyone could see my face.
Although,
no,
it's probably for the best.
Steph,
cocktail of choice?
If I'm drinking a lot,
I like a good vodka tonic with some lime.
Or if I'm just like a one and done,
I like a good old fashioned.
Yeah,
I tend to go old fashioned or Manhattan that direction.
Something with whiskey or bourbon in it.
Well,
the research is in,
according to the NIQ firm,
the margarita is once again the number one cocktail in America.
In a margarita.
In America.
Is everyone eating at Chili's?
That was the most Utah thing I've ever heard you say.
Well,
you don't have Mexican restaurants.
You just have Chili's.
Hey,
they got those sizzling fajitas.
Listen,
Chili's does like $4 margaritas once a year.
Are you telling me baby back ribs aren't Mexican food?
They are if you sing the song.
She puts tapatio sauce on it and they're Mexican food.
Ridiculous.
It's pronounced redonkulous.
Get it straight,
Flex.
Come on.
Margaritas rule,
so I'm okay with that.
It gives me heartburn.
It's too much citrus.
I mean,
if they're going to be $4 and when you get them,
they stack them on top of each other like they do at Chili's.
I didn't know where there is a Chili's around here.
Chili's,
the real Mexican food.
Actually,
that was Chi Chi's.
Also,
I do remember Chi Chi's.
our Chi Chi's went out of business because they had like cockroaches.
Damn,
those margaritas were good.
Worth it.
I was a kid when that place closed.
Last year.
We're just jealous.
It's okay,
Flex.
You guys ever get your hands on The Brewery?
Not in a long time.
I get their stuff out here,
but I really don't like spending $13 a can.
That's actually a pretty good price for The Brewery.
Aren't they 12 ouncers still?
Is that right?
Depends on what it is.
Whatever we get up here,
my shop gets the 16 ounce cans.
The Barrelage stuff is 16,
but I think some of the other stuff is 12.
But anyways,
good news for Idaho.
The Brewery is going to open a shop in Idaho for some reason.
Silvertown,
where Joe Dirt lived.
You're my sister.
I have the poo on.
I'm new.
I don't know what to do.
Okay,
that's all.
I'll Joe Dirt all day.
Less beer for sale at off-premise retailers.
This is interesting.
According to Bump Williams Consulting,
which apparently does a lot of beer researching.
Bump Williams?
Bump Williams is the company name.
The amount of beer brands for sale at off-premise retailers has gone from 27,411 in 2022 to 22,597 in 2024.
So they've dropped by basically like 5,000 beers.
What's happening?
What's going on?
RTDs?
RTDs are happening.
Bullshit shelters are happening.
That kind of stuff.
People,
drink some beer.
I mean.
High noons are everywhere.
If I'm at the pool and I am in Vegas,
the high noons are.
I'm not going to lie.
I've had quite a few.
Lots.
You are the problem.
Well,
that's not new news.
I hated shelters,
but there is a brewery here in Utah that makes like 9% hard shelters and they're delicious.
Is that legal?
Do the cops know about that?
I'm pretty sure they do.
They're about to.
They do now.
Yeah.
Because,
you know,
the cops are always watching everything I do,
but no,
they're great.
And so I was like,
this is,
this is a hard shelter I can actually go for.
So behind.
Yeah.
I don't get behind a whole lot,
but what do I do?
What is happening?
So much,
so much.
So much.
All right,
let's,
let's end things in Florida.
The classiest of all places where they cork their wines.
For sure.
A drunk woman was spotted driving on three tires in Pinellas County.
Told deputies she was unaware.
49 year old seminal woman told deputies that she didn't realize she was driving around on three tires on Monday.
Officials arrested and Louise Keller after receiving multiple
911 calls reporting that she was driving a dark gray
Nissan Rogue recklessly with no passenger side front tire.
According to authorities,
deputies spotted Keller driving South on Hamlin Boulevard.
The sheriff's office says deputies conducted traffic stop to conduct a welfare check.
Can you imagine stopping her?
And like,
as soon as her car stops,
like just falls over without that fourth tire.
Maybe she didn't notice.
Cause she just kept making like left turns,
you know,
all the way.
It's distributed on the driver's side.
Very good point.
Yeah.
Yeah,
guys,
no,
yeah,
I just keep driving and driving counterclockwise.
And I seem to be doing just fine.
Although sparks don't worry about those sparks.
When they spoke to Keller,
they smelled alcohol.
She admitted to drinking and told deputies that she was unaware that the tire was missing.
She failed.
This will surprise all of you.
She failed a field sobriety test and had unsteady bloodshot eyes.
According to the PCSO,
deputies said her breath alcohol concentration was a 0.16.
Making that double the legal limits.
Exactly double.
Yeah.
Deputies found her empty.
Ready for the classiness?
Bush light beers in a bag on the passenger side of the SUV with the receipt showing a purchase date of the same day at 3.43 PM.
Wow.
Was it a CVS receipt?
Like a super long one?
Yeah,
it was hanging out the side of the window.
That's actually what got the cop's eye was the receipt hanging out the window.
The receipt fluttering in the wind.
Oh,
it's someone's scarf.
Oh,
it's a receipt.
Because driving on three wheels is actually like a normal thing in Florida.
Not that weird.
You know,
gators eat tires all the time.
Hey guys,
look at that.
Man,
I've seen weirder shit.
Let it go.
Yeah.
Look at that receipt hanging out the window.
Oh shit.
Get her.
Not a receipt.
Like we're used to the fucking tricycle thing there.
It's not that weird around here.
It makes you think though,
like,
did the wheel fall off as she was driving?
Or was it already off?
Yeah,
it was like already off.
And she's like,
I'm just going to see where I can get to.
Yeah,
someone's playing a prank on her.
Well,
joke's on you.
Man,
Florida.
Yeah.
Some of my favorite people are from Florida,
but it's also the weirdest fucking place.
Weirdest fucking place.
There's good people in Florida.
I mean,
every bad place has good people in it.
Oh,
right,
right.
Yeah.
Who's good in you?
Oh,
sorry.
Thank you.
You're right.
No one.
Not a single one.
I've seen where you sleep.
Just kidding.
Shit.
Yell at my wife.
Boy,
oh boy.
Yeah.
Shit got weird real quick.
And that was the last time Steph was invited.
Don't forget to check out her Only Toes at onlytoes.com.
I just titled the show,
Ketchup Sandwiches and Stalkers.
Yeah,
that's where the show got weird.
I'm sure you guys did weird shit,
like ate weird shit when you were kids.
Guaranteed.
No.
Not like that.
Yeah,
right.
Trying to think.
I mean,
not ketchup and butter weird.
I have to agree.
Maybe we just blocked it out.
Maybe it was so awful.
Did you ever just let a frozen pizza thaw and then eat it?
God,
no.
Fuck no.
The fuck is wrong with you?
Did you then put ketchup on the thawed pizza?
No,
but it's like a giant.
Is your mom around?
Can I talk to her?
It's like a giant Lunchable pizza.
Then you don't even got to make it.
It's already made.
No,
it's not.
You still got to make it.
This episode brought to you by Totino's.
Oh,
my God.
My stomach hurts from laughing.
Not a ketchup show.
I'm not afraid to put myself out there.
That's all I'm saying.
I feel like we should wrap things.
We should just end this for everybody's sake.
It's not even that gross.
I'm going to hit some music.
I'm ready to take a deep breath.
Music comes in,
so we can end things.
Hi to Vanessa.
Hi,
Vanessa.
Run.
Well,
you say we won't invite you back.
I think you're just afraid to come back at this point.
But thanks for hanging out.
Let's go while it lasted.
Come back with some ketchup.
Seriously,
thanks for hanging out with us for two weeks in a row.
Yeah,
it's a real good time.
This is a lot of fun.
Yeah,
I'm going to change the name of my page to room temperature wet pepperoni.
You are going to get a whole new batch of creeps.
You thought the foot people were weird.
Well,
you know her new Graham handle.
So don't follow her at Miss Tipsy Socks.
Room temperature underscore.
We are still Craft Beer Republic.
And for now,
he's Flex Me a Beer underscores in between.
Going to be Ketchup Me a Beer.
I do think that's everything.
Apologies.
And I'll say in advance,
the show's over.
Hope everyone is out there staying very well hydrated.
And on that note,
good night,
everybody.
I hope everybody finds this as fun as we do.
I don't see what's so wrong about this.
That's what's wrong with it.
That's part of the big problem.
There's nothing you can do to tell me that something is wrong with it.
It's just like a big,
giant lunchable pizza.