What if the key to more fulfilling client relationships started with how you approach sales? Hey, it's Samantha. And I'm here to talk about one of my core missions, helping women get more comfortable with selling. The way I teach to work with clients is through high intimacy and connection. Because transformation requires trust. The best time to solidify that trust is during the sales process. That's when someone decides if their dreams, goals, and future feel safe in your hands. I've seen many women consultants shy away from sales, but it's critical to growing your business. That's why I'm resharing this encore episode on Heart based selling. A way to transform sales from a dreadful task into something meaningful, fulfilling, and maybe even joyful. Whether you're uncomfortable with selling or just looking to improve, this episode will shift your perspective. Share it with a colleague who's great at building relationships and would love to hear yes more often on our sales calls.

Welcome to Profitable Joyful Consulting, where you'll discover how to multiply your revenues without exhaustion working with perfect clients on transformational engagements.

I'm your host, Samantha Hartley.

If you're a woman consultant ready to increase your profits and enjoy your business more, you're in the right place. We can't even talk about money in business without touching on the subject of sales.

That's how we bring in the money.

And so many consultants are repulsed by selling or they feel like that the.

Way that it's done, they can't find.

A way into it that feels good for them. And so it's kind of like a necessary evil as opposed to being like.

Your favorite part of the business.

And it is almost my favorite part of the business. I love making this meaningful heart connection with my clients. And that's why I wanted to talk today about heart based selling. It's what I feel like I'm doing. I'm in love with so many of the people who come to me and.

I want to take the opportunity of a sales call to be able to give to them generously whether they end up working with me or not. And to me, that's what heart based selling is about.

It's just about being generous and loving. So I'm going to talk a little bit more about what that is and what that means. And if you are not into selling at all, but you know you need.

To be better, then this is for you. And if you are really rocking and.

Amazing at sales, then I want to share with you some tips that I'm just learning every, every day and every.

Year I continue to Sell, I learn.

Something more and more fulfilling and wonderful that makes me love sales more. So I'm going to share that with you. I've been selling for, you know, almost three decades. It's been a core part of my work, and I've never felt more connected to the people that I sell to and the people who are my community, my target audience, just like you, the people who are those that I want to connect to. So consultants, women, female founders. This is like people I love and.

I love to get in conversations where.

I'm asking about, like, what's going on.

In your business and I want to.

Learn about you and like, like, what's.

What'S challenging, what's hard for you, what have you tried? I never get tired of hearing that information.

And I think if you have that kind of love and empathy and excitement about your audience, then you too can love sales and you can enroll the people who are absolutely the best possible fit for you. So years ago, I had a client come to me and she said, the universe tells me I have a $2 million business. And I said, I believe the universe.

So we began conversations about her working.

With me and what that might look like. And it was a long sales process.

As long as it takes, because I.

Felt sure that she was my client, but she didn't yet. So she had a kind of a.

Push me, pull you kind of a.

Thing where she would feel like, I know this is the right thing to do, but oh my God, oh my God, I'm so scared. And yes, I want to do this and oh my God, I'm so scared. So. So the interesting thing to me in that kind of a dynamic, and I've told her story many times before, so basically she was referred to me. She needed one of everything, everything from strategy to what I did at the time for clients, which was website, signature system, just needed everything. And that was when I first began to do transformational engagements. So instead of doing each of those.

Things individually for a little amount of.

Money, I just said we should string this together, work together a year and do all of this. And instead we ended up.

We are working together to this day.

It's been like almost seven years, so it's working out. That's the happy ending to the story.

But in the middle there, or actually at the very beginning during these sales calls, what was happening was her coming.

To terms with the universe is inviting me to really up level, to take a huge giant step forward in my business. And to do that, I've actually invited this person that's me into, into my life, she's saying, and she's showing me this possibility. So when someone comes to you in.

A sales situation, what you're really doing.

Is saying like, oh, you've, you've heard this number and you've heard this kind of like what you want your business to look like.

I believe you.

Now I'm going to reflect that back to you. And sometimes when you mirror that back to them, they go, ah, ah. That's really big. And I'm. And you know, in the person in our position, it's like, yes, that's what you just said. It looks like this.

Ah, ah. Stop showing me that.

So that, to me is this beautiful, wonderful dynamic in, in selling is when somebody says, I think I'm big. And you go, you are big. And they go, oh my God, I'm big.

That is the process of enrolling someone.

To work with you.

It can be better, it can be different.

I feel like it should be like this.

Yeah, it could be.

Ah, so that's the, the process of selling. A lot of times, even if you're working with companies and even if the person you're selling to is like a VP of whatever, that person is still a person who's like, I've been given.

This task to do this thing or to solve this problem, or I think.

This could be easier. And you're coming in there to say, yeah, true. So let's talk about how that could happen.

And then we get into all of.

The, the issues about that.

What will happen in sales calls a.

Lot of times is that people will voice their concern. Like the ah, ah, ah. Sound of, like that dream sounds scary.

Now that you mirror it back to.

Me, I'm not sure. Even though I'm, I'm called to it, I'm, I'm, I'm afraid of that. And you're going to say, I, that's okay. I know how to get there. I know how to do that. So it can sound a lot like objections in quotation marks.

Objections.

I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if you can do that. I don't know if I believe you. Wow, that's a lot of money. Are you kidding? That's what you're going to charge me for this?

All of those things are reactions that.

People will have in the sales process.

To having the dream mirrored back to them, having the solution, the possibility mirrored.

Back to them by you. Guess what? Didn't have anything to do with you. It does not have anything to do with you. That is a person working through the.

Process of accepting that this is what.

It would look like to be on the path to achieving their goal.

So you really have to have non attachment.

You really have to be in a.

Place where you can say, I'm going to tell you this stuff and you're.

Going to take it and if you want to work together, then let's do it.

But I'll understand also if you don't.

Want to work together.

And so sometimes they'll get frightened by what they've heard and they don't work with you.

So maybe they're not the right fit.

Maybe this is not the right time. But that doesn't have to do with you.

I had a client contact me today and say that somebody got back to him and said, well, we're in sticker shock. Okay, okay, you're in sticker shock. Sticker shock is not fatal.

That is the part of the process where someone is working through getting used to the fact that the thing that.

They want or the thing the solution.

That you think is the best solution.

For them is more than they expected it to be. Okay, so one or two things will happen. They'll decide we still want to step.

Up and do the thing or they'll.

Decide we want to do something other than that. Either nothing or something lower.

Right. But nevertheless, sticker shock is not fatal.

So these are ways that heart based selling can bring the right people to you and get you involved in a conversation where you are showing them their potential.

And that's what I'm going to talk.

About in this episode.

So the first thing that I want.

To mention is that it's the opposite of classic push selling. We got to close this many people always be closing and that kind of thing. That's hyper masculine, patriarchal, old style like previous centuries ways of selling. And we don't do that anymore and you don't do that. And so it's. That's not going to serve you to.

Do any of those techniques. And so if that's the way you're.

Trained, like me and like a lot of us, then okay, great, we can let go of that stuff. But we need something to replace it with. Now if you never were trained in that style of selling, then yay, you don't have a bunch of stuff to unlearn. You just get to adopt a new way of doing things.

And those are the things that I.

Want to offer to you today.

So the first thing that I've been talking about is being a Mirror for.

Your clients and really listening from a.

Heart connection to what their hopes and dreams are.

And that is the thing that I think is really sacred, that. That I think is the possibility in all of this. Now, when we are looking for what the standard of is for that.

The standard for selling to me in.

That situation is I'm looking for the highest good of all concerned. It means I don't want to close someone because it's a good thing for me, and I don't want to close something that's a good thing for them.

This can look like someone comes to.

You and you feel like, well, they're not a great fit for me, but I feel like I should help them. I mean, I think they.

They're asking for help and.

Or, well, I could do this for less money.

They can't really afford me.

So those are things that are in.

Their highest good, but not your highest good. So you want to watch out for that.

It needs to be in the highest good of all. And the highest good of all means also anybody that they serve, their clientele.

Your team, your employees.

It's got to be good for everybody. And the right clients will be.

This isn't a high standard.

This is like the easiest right standard. You're going to feel in your gut, and it's going to make sense, any.

Logical way that you look at it.

That this is the right thing to be doing. Okay? So that is the highest good of all concerned. The next thing that I want you to look at is really having empathy in your sales process. You can hear when I'm talking about that client. Like, I heard her having a hard time dealing with this, dealing with the idea that it was going to be expensive to work with me, that it was going to be the most money that she had paid for anything besides her house.

Well, that's a lot of money. It was a hard idea for her.

To think I'm going to be doing things as a result of this that.

I don't know how to do now. And so I can't imagine the things.

She couldn't imagine, the things that I.

Was telling her because she'd never done them before.

A lot of times when clients come.

To you, they're asking you to help them achieve an outcome. They don't know the path to get to that outcome. They don't know the how. If they did, they'd be doing it already. And sometimes they do know it, and they're not doing it already because they.

Can'T do it without support or help. So that piece right there, the part that they're not doing or that they don't understand how to do, it's hard.

To imagine that they will be doing.

It when they're working with you.

Like that's hard.

And a lot of times what, what.

Is really missing in this whole piece is their belief in themselves. Like they believe you, but they don't.

Believe that they can do it.

They believe that you can do it. So a lot of the time if.

You'Re bringing your testimonials and case studies.

And success stories and all of those.

Things to them, the piece that's missing for the clients is like, I get that, I get, I believe you can do it, but can I do it really getting clear with them that that is possible for them. So to me that empathy for them.

Being in that position is really important.

What is helpful for me now, after so many years in business and having worked with so many consultants and so many clients is especially self employed people, is I rarely hear a situation that.

I don't have a connection to or.

I haven't worked with someone who was in. And so I can share real stories of people just like them and what.

They did to overcome any obstacles, whether.

It was fear of selling, which we're talking about today, or inability like ignorance, like not knowing how to sell, like all of those situations I've seen and experienced before.

So I can speak knowledgeably to someone being in that situation and you can.

Speak knowledgeably to that. No matter how long you've worked with people, you'll be able to find someone that you've worked with and say what that kind of reminds you of. When you really connect to your client, a lot of times you can connect.

It to yourself and the way that you felt when you were in their position before. So really thinking broadly about life empathy.

Rather than just like work empathy. So even though they may be struggling with a situation that you may never have been in, you understand what it's like to be there. So conveying that empathy is really helpful for people in sales situations because they want to believe that you understand them.

Better than they understand themselves.

And that's a really big bonus if you can. So that empathy piece, you know their pain, you know others like them, you know their desires, their goals, their hopes, their dreams. And to me, kicking into that and really connecting with it is, is the key to to heart based selling, to really helping them to believe that things are possible for them even when they don't. The next thing that I like to do, so I always Talk about listening.

And to me, the listening skills. I'm always listening for a few things here. I'm listening for.

Is this someone who reminds me of my other perfect clients? Is this someone who is.

The challenges that they're talking about are.

Challenges that I'm, I want to solve and I'm excited about. Because a lot of times people can come to you and you can be like, I've already done like a thousand of those and I don't want to solve that problem anymore. For example, I have a client who.

Does financial work, but she doesn't work.

With any companies that are in financial distress because that can be unfun. Right? That's a, that's a harsh vibe. And you might not want to participate.

In that and she doesn't.

So you're allowed to say whether you want to. You choose to work with companies in these situations. So, for example, I'm listening for do I want to do I want to solve those problems. One of the reasons I don't work with brand new consultants and I make this podcast for brand new consultants, but I don't personally work with them, is.

That a lot of the challenges that happen in the very first year are ones that I have solved with people.

For many, many years. I've done those with my clients over.

And over and over again, and they're.

Just not as fun for me. I love and want to support, support beginner consultants, and I feel like I'm.

Creating materials that are free, that are.

Accessible to help with those beginning challenges. But, um, the work that I want to do is, is when people are at a different stage in their development.

Not better or worse, just different and.

More of a fit for what I want to do. You have the right to choose that for yourself. So listen, do your clients express that.

They'Re in a place with challenges that.

You want to solve?

Do their hopes and dreams that they are looking for are those things that.

You want to help them to achieve?

And do they excite you?

Do they like, spark passion in you?

If so, then this person is likely.

A fit for you. So I'm listening with that in mind as well. Let me tell you one odd tip that I do. Whenever I have a sales call before.

I get on the phone with someone.

On a discovery call, I will ask.

This question in meditation.

I will connect with my heart, with their heart, and I will say, what is the thing that this person most.

Needs to hear from me?

On today's call, I always hear an answer. I always hear something. So I, I really, I Want to say challenge, but I don't want to use a harsh word like that. Aren't such a sensitive topic.

I invite you before your next discovery call, before your next meeting with your client, even if it's coaching calls, what's the thing that my client most needs.

To hear from me on this call? Now, I actually asked that at the beginning of my coaching calls. You know, what's the number one thing.

I can help you with today?

But that's different from, like, what does.

My client most need to hear from me? And on discovery calls, what is the.

Person most need to hear from me on the call? So keep that in mind and listen for it. And I think you'll find just amazing information in that you are connected to them with your heart. Even if it's your very first, first phone call with them. The next thing that I do, and.

I'm going to tell you, this is a superpower.

This is the secret sauce. It is the. All of those, like, number one. Number one. And I've kind of buried this in the middle of this episode. But this is the thing that I want to tell you about. Have had recent sales calls. And what I will tell you is, to me, the most important thing is.

Whether or not I close a call, I need to be able to sell tell someone the truth.

And when you tell someone the truth and they know it's the truth, it's the harsh truth.

Right.

It's the thing that nobody else will tell them. And you're like, I need to tell you that if you keep doing it this way, you are going to burn yourself out. Or what I'm going to tell you is. So I said to someone once on a call, I was like, you are tired of this topic that your expertise is in.

You're.

You're tired of it and you want to do something else. And so I don't want to help.

You grow a business that is going.

To be more of something that you're exhausted from.

Sometimes when I tell someone that I.

Will, I will get them as a client, and sometimes they will hear, oh, I don't think I want to be doing this anymore.

And they will. I will not get them as a.

Client because they totally take another direction either way.

I told the truth that they needed.

To hear, according to me, that I believe they needed to hear. And I think that served the highest good, the highest good of all concerned. Would it have been easy for me to sign somebody up by telling them something different?

Sure.

But that, to me, is not the key. Now when as you've heard, I work with my clients, some of my clients, for a really long time, like for years.

And even if I only work with.

Them for a year, I don't want.

To enter into any situation unless I.

Know that I can tell them the.

Truth and the real truth.

So very often on sales calls, what.

I will do is I will tell someone.

Actually, every single call, I will tell someone the not harsh truth, but like the real truth that I think they need to hear. It's not always something unpleasant. Uh, sometimes it's like, I think you can do this and I think that you've been playing small up until now and now you're really ready to, you know, to go big. Or I think you've been wearing yourself out and you've been doing it the.

Absolute hardest possible way and we need to find you a different way that's.

Going to work for you. Whatever is the thing that I need to say. I will tell the truth on that sales call. Here's why I do this, because I.

Want to establish a precedent for all of our future work together, that not.

Only that, I will tell them the truth, that they have an experience of it. So I get to see how they respond to that. Because not everybody wants to be told, dude. Not everybody wants to hear the truth of their face.

And they do not take it well in some cases.

And so if you've told someone exactly what they need to hear, they don't always say thank you for that. So if you get those a freak out reaction, you need to know that. Now if I go back to the beginning of this call and I talked to you about the client who began to make peace with the transformational engagement and the price that she was going to pay and things like that, she.

Did not have an easy reaction to that. And I wouldn't say she had a freak out or a temper tantrum or.

Anything like that, but it was, you know, it was close. It was a big reaction that she had to that.

Here's what's wonderful. Over the years of working together, she and I have had run into other.

Conflicts and other things like that.

I knew from that first phone call that she wasn't going to be a lunatic and have a freak out on.

Me because I'd already seen how she accepts harsh truths.

If I have established a working relationships.

In which I am able as consultants.

And coaches, we have to be able.

To tell them this.

But what's the real thing?

A lot of times on a sales call, somebody won't tell them the Harsh truth because they want to close the sale.

A lot of times in a coaching.

Relationship they won't tell the coach the.

Harsh truth because they don't want to get fired.

As a coach, if my client knows.

No amount of money is more important.

To me than that I tell you.

The truth and that you hear what.

You need to hear, that is a valuable working relationship. That is a basis for trust. So I want you to think about when in your discovery calls, when in.

Those early connections you can listen for.

And have an opportunity to tell someone.

Something like the real truth and see.

How that's going to go for me.

In my case, that has led to.

Long term relationships with amazing clients. Just absolutely adore my clients and you know, I could go on and on, but the closeness I feel with them.

And the trust I feel and the way that I'm making a contribution to the world through them, through their work.

Is incredibly gratifying for me. So the last thing I want to leave you with is if you think about sales in the way of making.

Creating long term relationships, then you're going.

To do things very differently. And that is what I think is so exciting about it. So I wanted to share. One of my clients is one of my newer clients. Hopefully we have many wonderful years together. And she said she was very nervous about transitioning from hourly to transformational engagements. And she was also very nervous about sale sales.

And so we've been working on that for not very long and she's doing amazing at it.

She just closed her second transformational engagement. And so I said to her and.

It was kind of easy, wasn't it? Because it was. And she said yes, it was easy. And I said and it was fun. And she said it was fun. And I said I told you sales would be fun. And she said when you told me, I didn't believe you.

And now I do. So it can be fun. It's fun when you know what you're doing. It's fun when you have, you have new skills and you use them and they work. And it's fun when you feel nervous about doing something and then you try it and then it actually turns out great because you've been prepared for what's going to happen. I love to work with my clients on this. I love to work on sales because of the intimacy that is related to it.

And I love the idea of heart.

Based selling as a way in for consultants who feel like it just cannot be that and then they do discover that it is that way. If you would like to get help in this area. I just urge you to reach out. It's I would love to have a conversation with you. As you've heard, it's going to be a conversation which I'm not going to.

Try to sell you anything, because that's not how I do.

It's going to be a conversation in.

Which I say the truth, because that.

Is what I do, and it must be in the highest good of all concerned. And a lot of times our sales.

Calls are just a gift to the universe.

It's just a gift to somebody and.

We just send that out into the.

Universe and we don't get a direct.

Return on that particular call.

But it will come back to us someday from somewhere and usually tenfold. That's what I believe, anyway.

And with that I am wishing you.

A profitable and joyful consulting business. Thanks for listening. As a thank you for being part.

Of my community, I'm sharing free, exclusive.

Resources to help exp expand your consulting business. Head to samanthahartley.com super to access bonus content and tools from the show. For a complete transcript of this episode and all profitable joyful consulting episodes, visit SamanthaHartley combination.