Welcome back to become a calm mama. I'm your host. I'm Darlyn Childress. I'm a

life and parenting coach and the host of this podcast. And this

episode is for really any mom because we

talk a lot about strategies and tips that will help you manage your time

and manage your mindset around being overwhelmed as a parent. But,

specifically, we're speaking to working moms. I've invited

Angie and Megan from Front Row Moms to come speak to

us about their program. Front Row Moms is a

membership program for and they also have events and retreats and

things like that for working moms. And they help you

focus on yourself, your business, your parenting,

your relationships, your health, and your money, which

is really an incredible program that they've

created that's available to support working moms. And on this

conversation, we talk a lot about what it means to be a working

mom. We talk a bit about the choice

to be a working parent or not to be a working parent and the

benefits that can happen when you are a working parent and some

of the obstacles that come up. And I realized after we recorded

this that it might seem somewhat privileged to think

about having a choice to work or not to work because

sometimes we just have to work. And I wanted to acknowledge that

that's true and to normalize that that it's

not always maybe you don't want to work and you have to.

And this conversation might feel frustrating because we're really talking about the

choice to work and how to approach your work. I wanna say

that no matter how you come to be a working parent, whether

that's by choice or because of financial circumstances,

I want you to know that this episode is gonna be really helpful for you

and that Front Row Moms has a place for all working parents

because the truth is regardless of whether we choose it or not, it is

still a rough and challenging road that requires a lot of

balancing and juggling. And this episode is here for you

to get some tips and to normalize some of that frustration

overwhelm so you don't feel like it's your fault. You don't feel like you're

alone. You don't feel like something's wrong with you if you find yourself

struggling with some of those time constraints or

feelings of guilt or any of the other obstacles that come. So this episode

is for you whether you are a working parent or not, whether you

choose to work or you have to work, or you just want tips on

managing your life and some mindset strategies to help you

in your really in your day to day life as a parent. You are gonna

find something wonderful in this podcast. Here we go. I'm happy to

introduce you to Angie and Megan from Front Row Moms.

Welcome, Megan and Angie, to become a com mama podcast. I'm

so delighted you're here. So please say hi, and then I'll give you a chance

to introduce yourselves. Hi, Caroline.

Awesome. So Angie and Megan are the founders of Front Row

Moms, and I'm gonna let them talk a lot about that.

But essentially, this episode is a an opportunity

to have a discussion about what it's like to balance

work and raising a family and the obstacles and challenges

that come with that. Most of my podcast and all my listeners know

we talk a lot about parenting, parenting, parenting, and life balance, emotional

regulation, kind of how we feel in our lives, our marriages.

But I don't talk that much about work and balancing

work with parenting. I'm not an expert on

it. I'm really excited to have both of you to come and

share about this. So if you could introduce yourselves each

individually, kind of a little bit about your background, and then we'll start

and talk about what Front Row Moms is all about. So who has to go

first? Everybody. I'm Megan Corey. So I live outside of

Boulder, Colorado, and I have two boys ages 10 and

11. They keep me very active. And I was

moving up the leadership chain at work. And after I

had my second child, it just continued to be

really difficult. And there were a lot of challenges to the point

where at work, they were seeing me become the senior leader.

They were grooming me for that. I was looking at everybody around me, and it

was me and a room of 17 men in suits, and it just didn't feel

right. And it wasn't the fact that I was the only female. It was the

fact that I didn't want the burnout, stressed out, work first, and

forget about my family life. And so I've really started on a a

huge personal development chain of just looking at what did I wanna do,

how do I wanna work this, how do I want to be more present with

my family. And I started my own company,

a consulting company where I could have little more more time independence,

more freedom of location, and just kinda see where that

took me. And during that time, you know, surrounding yourself with different people

and different groups, and that's how I met Angie. We are both a part of

this, facilitation group called Exchange, where

you try to find the best of people and you're bringing groups together. And

especially during COVID, that was incredibly important. And even though I'm in

in, Colorado and Angie is in British Columbia, we were

like, hey. You know, there's this there's this thing that we need to

be doing, and Angie will discuss it a little more. I'll let her share that

as she kind of was the real starter of this. And I

said I wanted to be a part of this. And so that's how the Frumper

Moms community came about. So I'll let Angie share her story and how we

kind of how we got started. Yeah. Thank you. I am

wanting to circle back to that tension that you

describe of staying in it or not, you know,

staying in that corporate environment. And I would imagine, and maybe, Angie, you can speak

to this of, like, women who do want to stay

in. And and that was

what I really see your organization providing kind of some

strategies and support for that. So please share,

introduce yourself, Angie, and then share a little bit about the front row moms.

Alright. Great. Thanks for thanks for having us here. My

background's a little similar in terms of this decision point

where I had developed through a direct

sales company. I'm still in that. Still work with that company for thirty

one years now. But when I was coming up in the business as a

business leader in our organization, there was nobody to point to that had

successfully had kids and stayed running a business. And

so I remember being at a personal growth seminar,

and we had to do this exercise where we had to talk about what are

we what were we scared of? What are our fears? What's going on? And mine

was my biggest fear was that I was gonna have to quit my job to

have kids. And it was because I wanted both. I

actually really, really wanted to be a mom, but I really, really liked what I

was doing. And I was on this really great trajectory and and getting better, and

it was going great. And so I really wanted both. But I knew that I

wanted to be a mom more. And so I was scared that I was gonna

have to quit in order for that to happen. I remember just kind of being

in a place where I just said, well, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna try

this regardless to see. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And thankfully, I

had supportive leadership in my company that said, we don't know how to

do this because we're not a woman, but we'll try to support as best we

can. So we don't know how this is gonna go, but we'll try. And so

that was kind of the first spot where it was like, I wanna do

this, but I don't see an example in my world right now showing me how

to do it. And I had to kind of take a leap. And being

someone who's quite type a of, like, I work hard, this happens, then

we do this, then we do that. Being in this place of uncertainty was challenging

for me. And then entering this world, which now I look back and

I'm like, oh, just set me up to be a mom. There's a lot

of uncertainty. You can't control hardly anything. Right? So then I went down this

path of, you know, try to have children. And and, I'm really

glad I did, because it, worked. You know? I

continued to run the business. I continued to develop, and I think I attracted

more people into my team because they saw me as a whole

person, and I had a life and and, yet I was excited about

succeeding professionally. And then as I continued to do

that, though, the there was some challenges with still not a

lot of people understanding the dynamic of, not just

being a parent, but, you know, also being a mother of having to choose

and us making a decision, my husband and I, where he stayed home for a

period of time. And that's a decision that's not always even easy to make,

and and we had to do that. And then deciding at one point in time

to get help and have a nanny come in and live with us and and

what that was like. And then and then continuing to move forward,

the more successful that I became, oddly enough, the more isolated I actually

felt. And I didn't really wanna look back and

say, I was successful professionally at the expense of

my marriage, relationship with my kids, or my

health. And so I really wanted to find a community of women that

understood the challenge and also wanted to encourage and support each other

to navigate the competing parts of life. Really would like to

form a community of these ambitious women where it's an and not

an or, and we're really bringing forward the conversation

of marriage, of relationship with our children, our health. How do we

do that as we navigate stages of our professional

life? And it was great when as Megan said, when we were at exchange and

talking about this and I was brought up this community and and, you know, she's

like, oh, tell me more. I'd love to help. I'd love to do this. And

and that's how our relationship started and it it continued to flourish. So

Yeah. Oh, that's pretty cool. A little older, minor, 16

and 19. So yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you're almost you're

not done. I'm my kids are 19 and 21. And,

it's a very different stage, this young adult, young

adult stage. Yeah. I had a

couple of thoughts. I was thinking first when you were saying, you know, you looked

around in your community, Angie, and you said there wasn't any

models or examples of this balance

that you wanted to create or this kind of multi pronged person.

And I think that that's true in the work that I do as a

parent, and that a lot of

parents of this generation want to parent their children differently than they

were parented. And it can feel really confusing and

isolating. And that's why we have podcasts and communities and things.

Because when you are doing something counterculture, when you're doing something that

doesn't, maybe you don't have a map for in your

mind, you do need to come together with other people and

brainstorm and get ideas and support normalize

this other mission that you, that you've decided for yourself.

And so I think that is really the being a trailblazer like that

for you, Angie, and your community and your work just to say like,

well, I don't know how to do it, but we're gonna figure it out. And

then to have the team that you worked for, be willing to do

that. Do you guys notice that that's

a possibility? The people who join your organization, like,

is it available to them? They are working for companies that are like, yeah, we're

gonna help you figure out how to balance your personal life, your marriage,

your parenting, your professional success. Yeah.

We know there's a lot of companies that are bringing more of the, you know,

wellness program perspective into it. So the health for sure. Right? So

that's a big thing where people like, alright. We really wanna focus on mental health,

physical health. And I had seen and even in when I was

working for different companies bringing on making sure you had

time to go pump when you needed to and taking a break to be able

to do that. But at the time, I didn't even have you know, you had

to use your own leave, all of your own leave, and you didn't get paid

for taking off to have a baby. And, you know, I do think all of

those things are changing, which I think is great. So they are seeing that, you

know, there is a big push for how are we gonna keep these mothers

working for us because they're incredible and we need them. But are they

actually giving and doing resources for these new moms

or showing them how to have a a better relationship? I don't

necessarily know if it's going into that. I haven't seen that exactly,

but, you know, that's kind of where where a community comes together and saying,

alright. We are in these professional roles, and everyone has you know,

especially in our community, everyone has different roles. A lot of the women

are are entrepreneurial minded, but they may not own their own business. They may just

be a leader in some sort of fashion, and they're just very

passionate about their career. And so that's why we kinda say it's ambitious moms. Right?

They're all doing something they really care about. But as a

mom, you have all of these other things that you rely on and

are important to you and you value it. And I think it's those values that

bring us all together, is we really wanna be a good mom no matter how

old our kids are. Right? We're still a mom. We really wanna have a thriving

relationship with a great partner. And how does that change as we get older?

As our kids get older, as our careers change, as our needs change,

we value our health. We value we wanna take care of ourselves. And

and, you know, especially as as we get older, all those changes that women

are going through, what is that support system that we have? Mhmm.

Mhmm. Yeah. I was wondering if maybe the the

organizations aren't, like it's not embedded in the system, but that

there is a a recognition

even that, like, we need these women in the workforce and

their benefit to our product, our

productivity. So let's find out what they need. And

how do you even have those conversations with your boss or

your team? I'm just curious if that's some of the guidance

that you have noticed you need to give to moms. I think

that it's kind of twofold. Just personally, I remember thinking to myself,

oh, I'm really good at time management. You know, I've got that figured out.

And then I had kids. Yeah. I was like, I wasn't good at

all at time management. And it was just an eye opener to me that

I was like, oh, these are things that now before, I was just good

at getting things done. I don't think I was good at, like, managing time.

And then I had kids and I realized, oh, I have to get things done

or I need to enlist help. And I think when we think about balancing

work, the conversation becomes maybe less about

it's my kids, but I think that there's a skill

that forces people to level up with how to delegate

effectively, how to ask for help, how to say how to set boundaries,

you know, to know when I'm at capacity or, you know, how can

we switch this around or what is the end objective versus

how much time does it take? You know? So getting folks focused a little bit

more on results than it is how much time it took to get something done

because, yeah, I think being able to balance a lot of different

things is a skill that a lot of mothers can bring into the workplace,

and it might not be looked at the same way, but it definitely is.

I think it's a skill that's pushed differently. And and you have to

know, I think that brings a level of maturity and awareness to have that conversation

with somebody. That's definitely it definitely comes up in conversation. Like, so

running my own business, let's say, and I do have to have that conversation with

somebody, it is being able to go to the table and realize

that we that what you're worth

and having confidence in that value and knowing that you have a

lot of value in what you bring to the workplace and that there's a way

to compromise and to get both done. It's just worth having a

conversation. And sometimes the harder part is that the person you're having the conversation

with maybe doesn't have kids or doesn't have a lot going

on. And so then it's harder to for them to relate.

But if we can have a conversation about what's the objective, what

do we need to get done in a certain period of time, how we get

that maybe isn't as important as getting it done and

being okay with it being, you know, looking a little different. Yeah. So I

we do I I I have had definitely had that conversation with with other

women of how do we approach the subject, you know. But

it starts a lot of times with being aware that we are worth

we have we have value. And I think that's a harder part is that

we don't see it sometimes, so then we don't have the confidence to go into

that conversation in the first place. Yeah. That's so true

because it's so easy to it you know,

society does a number on women, and it's very easy to think that,

you know, our contribution isn't important. We don't matter as much, especially

you look in the round the room, and you're like, well, this is all men

in suits, and what do I really have to offer and

that kind of feeling and

hit, I am so appreciative personally, when I go to

a doctor's office, and I'm working with a female doctor, or I go

to a lawyer's office, and I have a female lawyer or a female accountant.

And I feel much more understood, I feel like they

are looking at the solution from a different lens.

Women in general have a place in the workforce that

is valuable because of our perspective, our ability to be more

empathetic, to maybe see problems set from a different lane

lens. So maybe it's even helpful to think it's not

necessarily personal. Like, yes, you are personally valuable

and and your input is important, but also your

perspective as a woman and as a mother is also

extremely valuable to any community. Oh, yeah. I absolutely

agree. I also think we the way we lead is a little

different. The way we approach our positions are a little bit different. The

expectations that we try to present. You know, when I'm leading groups or in

a in a situation where do you have a lot of moms

that are a part of the group? I understand them. And and I wanna

say, you know what? That's not important. That work's gonna be there. You

need you have a sick child, go home. You need to take this time off

and go do this. And I just think that perspective sometimes is really

helpful to understand. Like, you can lay out those expectations for

your leadership as well. But, again, it does take that confidence of, like, what

is my power? What am I what how do I get confident about this and

see my value? But also saying, you know what? I

am also I'm somebody that they need as well, and here

is what it looks like. Right? So the next two weeks, I may need

to take off or or have these times because of my kids' schedule. And

sometimes it doesn't you don't even need to tell them exactly why. Right? But it's

like, what can you do for you so you're laying those expectations out and not

feeling like you have to be there twelve hours a day when you're

missing out on other things, trying to find what that correct bounce

looks like. And I think that's another thing that women struggle with

is we have to balance it all. And if we're in that balanced state and

group, somebody told us it's not balance, it's balancing. And you say,

what is that balancing that we're doing? And it's not always gonna be

the same. And sometimes we need to focus more on the family, and sometimes

maybe it's gonna be a little more in the career. Maybe it's gonna be with

our relationship, but understanding that we don't have to be doing all the

things all the time a %, and that's okay. So just getting out of

that, it has to be perfect. And we we say something me and

Angie were talking about is, you know, kind of redefining what that having it all

looks like. Like, I wanna have it all. What does that really mean? And

what, you know, what does that look like for you? And I think just being

okay in that your space of what makes sense for you. And it

might not look like what somebody has on Instagram, and it might not look like

what your friend has. And it's gonna look different for each person, but just

kind of making that routine, that space, that

every day look right for you, just being okay with that.

Yeah. And I think what you said, Angie, is so important of being more

results driven in your work and talking about, like, if you know you're

gonna have to take time not take time off,

but maybe manage your time differently to focus on a different

area of your life while still getting your work done. That

could look like a variety of ways. And we have this traditional model of, like,

nine to five or whatever it is. And maybe

that works, but sometimes it might not. And it's like, well, what's the end game?

What's the date? What's the deadline? Trust me. I've got it.

You want me on this project kind of advocating for ourselves and

and really selling ourselves. Like, I can do it. You want me on it

or whatever that project looks like or the, you know, workplace.

Yeah. No. I agree. And and when you said that, it were just reminded it

took me actually back to when my kids were really little, how I managed the

Workday differently. And when they got into school, I managed the Workday

differently. And then I remember when I could leave them at home alone, I was

like, oh my gosh, this is so different now. You know? And then, then the

driver, and then I'm like, oh my gosh. You know? So it was like, it's

like, there's these different levels of how I would shift my day and my work

as to when I did it because it fit where I was at in that

stage and what was important to me. And the activities were different. You know? And

remember when they were really little, those activities are different than when they got into

other activities and sports and you know? And then I was like, oh, I wanna

be there for that. So then this is different now. Being okay that

it's not gonna look the same all of the time, nor does it have to.

You know? And it's empowering. Mhmm. Yes. And that when

we make this pitch to our work workplace or,

you know, even if you're an entrepreneur, telling yourself like, Hey,

I know, for me, I realized I didn't want to work on Fridays anymore.

And I took a look at my schedule and my lifestyle.

And I was like, where can I add those hours that I was working on

Friday into my workday? Or do I wanna cut back on,

on revenue or impact or whatever that is?

And giving myself permission to say yes to my, to me

that I want this. And then also letting myself know I can

handle the workload in a different way if I choose

to. And those small decisions are really hard. And I think that's

why communities like what you're creating is important because it gives someone

almost permission to, hey. You know what I did? I I decided I

told my boss I don't work on Fridays. I work on Saturdays now. And then

you're like, wait. That's a possibility. I had no idea. You're like, yeah. My kid's

in gymnastics every Friday. I mean, every Saturday or whatever it is.

Yeah. I agree. We had we just had a retreat, and it was just

wonderful to see some of the, like, I think their light bulb moments when a

woman has been in it in in certain things for for a while. And then

all of a sudden another woman goes, well, I did it like this. And they

go, oh, you know? And I remember the

advice being given to me, like, when I was trying to figure it out. And

I remember someone saying to me, oh, we actually got a live in nanny. And

I was like, like, not just someone that, like, helps with the kids. I'm like,

no. No. They lived with us. I was like, oh, wasn't that weird? They're like,

no. Actually, if it's the right person, it was amazing. And I was like, oh,

and then I had to get over this, like, guilt feeling I had. I was

like, oh, it's weird. Am I supposed to you know? And then I forgot totally

that when I grew up, my mom actually had help in our house, and I

was like, oh my goodness. I just wiped that out. All of a sudden, I've

been conditioned by whatever I've seen around me. And then we were

like, well, let's try it. And it was such a gift. It was like

I was like, oh my gosh. This was so great for us. And it was

just it was someone else sharing. Hey. Have you thought of this?

Have you thought of that? And so getting around and all of a sudden and

also knowing, oh, your kids are okay and you did it

differently. Like, I'm like, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We can easily feel so guilty or bad,

or I don't know. I I think of it very practically. It's

like school is only six hours a day and a

Workday is eight plus in lunch. So nine.

And so you're gonna always need to figure out custodial care for

your children. And there's so much

weird guilt. It's not weird. There's a lot of guilt

about I'm not there for pickup, or my child

wishes I was there for pickup or, you know, I feel

I feel sad that I'm not getting those post school conversations.

And I I don't know. I I always wanna normalize

that it's okay to be a working mom. Like, it's okay

for your kids to wanna be with you and be sad that you're not at

every pickup or at every game. And that

you get to prioritize, like you said, you you know, your your professional

achievement, your professional, success, I think you said. And I, I

just think when I look at what you're doing, both of you with the front

row moms and normalizing ambition and normalizing wanting

to be successful in the workplace and

that it that's okay.

Just wanting what you want. And then

you don't have to feel bad about that core desire. I think there's a lot

of guilt around just shouldn't I be only

wanting to be a mom? Shouldn't I want only want to be with my kids

all the time? And as a parenting coach, I'm like, no. I

don't I don't who wants to be with their children all the time? I

don't not even like, I don't know. So I wonder if you could speak to

a little bit about what you hear with guilt and, like, some of your strategies

that you help overcome that obstacle. Yeah. I think a

lot with the guilt is, yeah, trying to manage a

schedule so that you say, alright. I want to be able to take

off to go to the kids' field trip or

if I wanna be able to volunteer or if I wanna pick them up. And

so I think it does get back to, you know, how do you what does

your schedule look like, if it allows for it. And if you can say, hey.

You know what? On Tuesdays, I'm gonna make this change, and I'm gonna say I

am going to pick up. And that is the special time, and you're really present,

and you're not trying to do all the things at once. You know, I really

try to manage my schedule where, you know, if it's a certain time, I

want to be able to go pick up my child from school. But if I

can't, you know, that's okay too. And I say, hey. I'm not gonna be able

to pick you up today. But, you know, at this time, I'd love to make

sure that we can sit down and I have that. So it's I think it's

letting the child know what you're doing and making sure that that's okay,

right, with them. So, like, hey. I'm telling you ahead of time. This is what's

going on. But then also knowing that you're not trying to be everywhere at once,

and you're not trying to do a call while you're picking them up, and you're

not present there for anybody. And I've done that, and it's awful.

And, you know, sometimes that does happen. But at the same

time, I think explaining that to them, having those boundaries

when you really can be present in one area or the other so you don't

feel so torn and just that you're not there and they're just

looking at you like, why aren't you with me right now? And that there is

guilt there. But I also think, you know, managing that and

and looking at it from another lens of I still have this

portion of me that is a mom and, you know, that's great. And I love

you so much, but look at what else mommy is doing.

And I am out there doing these things, and I am working hard. And look

at all the things that we can have because of that and the time I

can take off with you and, you know, just making sure that they understand that.

And for yourself, you understand that. If you put those boundaries up, it helps you

really put in place with the work

family and and putting that. And it does get harder and meshed together as

we a lot more work from home. And I think that's a whole another thing

that you work on is the founder is there too. Yeah. I

was gonna mention work from home because I had was coaching a mom

and she was saying, you know, she wants to be at home with her kids

in the afternoon, but then they're very confused

by whether she's available or not. And it almost makes

it more difficult. There is a babysitter there, but

the babysitter is in mom and the babysitter is great,

but the child would prefer mom. And I'm like, yeah, of course,

you're the best. Like, you're you're the most popular person in your house

till about age 11. And then you're not so

popular after that. So, you know, yeah, you're gonna be the

most popular person and they're gonna want you. And that's great.

But if you are at home, they're going to feel

more confused and possibly even more

rejected. Not that's not the right word, but, like, more miss more

confused about why aren't you playing with me? And so, yeah, you can have very

clear boundaries. Don't don't come to my door and teach your kids what's

expected. But sometimes it might make sense to go to

the office, we think we're going to be more present. And

yet we're not. And I think that you what you said, Megan, about

being trying to do it all, all at the

same time is really one of the problems

with, you know, having being a parent, a working

parent. It's like, I'm gonna pick my kids up while also taking this work call.

And like you said, you're not present for anybody. Yeah.

What do you wanna add Angie about that guilt or balance?

Yeah. I just, a great you reminded me of a sentence or a

phrase that her name is escaping me right now, but she

led Beautycounter and I remember or Greg, her name is, I think, and she

said she said, you can have it all, just not all at the same time.

Yeah. And I think that's okay. And,

and I really resonate with the learning through experience.

Better to be present for a short period of time than be kind of there

for a long period of time. Because somewhat I think that guilt thing

came to me where it was like, oh, I'm not around all day. And I'm

like, even if I was around all day, am I really a %

invest, like, really present? I don't I don't know if I would be. And

so maybe it looks a bit different for me that I need to be

you know, with my age, I've experienced both with cell phone and without cell

phone. Like pre having a cell phone around with my kids. And now and I

remember sitting there watching a movie once with my son who and he was probably

three and we were watching a movie and I was on my phone and he

literally grabbed my face and turned it,

took it to the TV. Mhmm. I was like he goes, mom. And I'm

like, hey, Declan. I'm right here. He goes, no. You're

not. And I was like, you're right. I

was he's like, just be here with me. And I was like, okay.

And that was just a great reminder to me of, like, it doesn't it doesn't

necessarily have to be the the, like, the number of hours. It just needs to

be that to be and and I'm not perfect at this, but, like, always that

reminder of, like, it could be less time, but just be

present. And then as they age, it's like I learned the car

rides is the best place ever to be with my kid. I was like, oh

my gosh. This is, like, captive, but we're not staring at each other. And he

talks. And I was like, you talk you know, like, it's just this is it's

so interesting that it doesn't I mean, I don't know. Rarely does things

look like I think it's supposed to look, and I should be okay with that.

You know? And I think even stay at home parents or or nonworking

parents will feel like they're

not being super present. And I

honestly would like to just normalize that child rearing is really

boring and it's very unstimulating. And

when you are a bright woman with a lot

of gifts and talents and skills, and anyone listening to this

podcast is one of those women, that that you might find

it pretty boring to figure out the exact

number of seconds to cook a frozen meatball. It's not

you're like, woah, look at me. And if you find yourself doing

a lot of volunteering and, you know, being really involved in the school

and, and those kinds of things, it might be because you really

miss work. You know, you miss having

something beyond child rearing.

And I think Angie, you can speak to it a little bit. It's like, it

does change significantly as you get older. And I think

about this, like I know when I stopped working, I was a

teacher and then I did kid baby. And it was like,

well, it doesn't make any sense to pay childcare because I would be making

paying as much as I make. I didn't wanna stay being a teacher, but

I hear this from women a lot and they give up their career

and won't even stay in a little bit and they kind of get

dissatisfied. They miss it a lot. And the

truth is that pretty soon you don't have that much

care to pay for. Like, it's not that many years

that you are paying for that level of childcare, and

it slowly goes away. So we think about child rearing as being

this really intense period of time, but it's kind of like

ten to fifteen years. And if you think of your whole work life,

that's forty plus years. If you have something you're passionate

about and interested in and wanna pursue, like, go

ahead. Your child rearing years are are short. And they always say like, oh, take

advantage of it, slurp it up, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's gonna go so

fast. And I appreciate it. I understand.

But if you're unhappy and you miss work, it's

okay to figure it out. And that's why these communities

are so important because it can normalize just that.

Absolutely. Yeah. We talk about this so much. I mean, just having,

you know, having that other desire and passion for something,

almost we see so much of in our community is in that

value of, it makes you a better mom. It makes you a better

wife. It makes you a better right? You have all these you're passionate about

something, and there's nothing wrong with that. Right? It's okay to

have that thing that you're like, this is really my thing. Because

as a mom, you're pulled that way. You're pulled that way, and you you have

that label. And we all love being moms. But it's

also like what we can do other things. And the same thing as,

okay. You're not just this person's wife or partner. You

also are this. So we can and having that thing

gives you that independence. It gives you the desire. And so you

don't feel like you're missing out because you are almost it's like it's okay to

go do this thing, and you can do all these things. That's okay

that you're not doing all well. Maybe it doesn't look great, but and we're gonna

be failing at some of it, But you tried, and that gives you that sense

of confidence and just empowers you. And so why why can't we have

that empowerment? Yeah. I think it's you said, you know, makes you a

better mom, better wife. I think it just makes you a better person. You're more

satisfied. And Yeah. Yeah, it's so easy

to give ourselves such a hard time about maybe something.

I, some people really like being so and so's mom and

not maybe a mom. Right? Like, I am like really

into my kids, but I don't know if I'm I mean, I like being a

mom. I obviously, I'm a mom coach. It's like I'm into it.

But I know there's lots and lots of women who this

isn't their gig. Like, they like their kid and they wanna raise their

child and have a relationship with their person. But, like, I'm not that into,

homemaking. And I know some people very satisfied in homemaking

and they like it and they like figuring out recipes and things

like that. Homemaking is not satisfying to me.

And that is, doesn't make me less of a woman. That's one

of the messages we get is like, this is the version of

femininity. And this is a version of women is

like mother, wife,

homemaker. And that's

not always true. Because we're just people.

Right? Yeah. Angie was nodding. What do you have? Yeah. I'm

like, I I love it. I I think that it reminds me of the phrase,

you know, it takes a village to raise a human. And I think

the more people that my kids can get exposed to,

the better. Because there's not just one way and they're not gonna be me.

And if they're only seeing the way I'm doing it, I'm probably not serving

them the best for them to tap into their gifts too. Right? And I think

that when we get around a lot of people, whether that's

carpooling to the soccer because I couldn't take you to the soccer game. So you're

carpooling with another family. So now you now there's someone else that's that's

kind of shaping a little bit of your thoughts. Right? Or it's

then it's our turn and we have someone or you're coming to my house or

you're going to their like, I feel like that is also a gift because we're

not all the same, and that's totally fine

that we aren't. I think that we give people permission.

You know, when we have goals and dreams and things you wanna do,

it goes our people that are watching us, their permission to do the same.

Right? It's like, I got a thing and and you can sell it, you know,

encourage me, and then I can encourage you to go do your thing. And I

remember when I was training for an event and I went for a run and

my son was really young and I come back and he's like, mom, how

was your run? And he was, like, genuinely, like, super excited for

me. And I was like I remember feeling a bit guilty too then. I was

like, oh, it was a long run. I was gone in the morning. And he's

like, how was it? I was like, it was great. Thanks for asking.

But I just it you know, I think it's healthy. It is my choice

to have kids. So, yes, they are going to come first in so many

areas. But I I and I think that we

can all compromise together to know that you're gonna need to

learn how to cook too, and you're gonna need to learn how to do your

laundry, and you're gonna need to, like, if we're if if we're not bringing other

help in, we're all gonna kinda pitch in here. And Yeah.

That's a good thing because then when It is. You know how to do your

own laundry, and that's a good thing too. Yeah. Actually, when

somebody has a working parent, they tend to be

more resilient. They were able to emotionally regulate, overcome

obstacles. There there's a lot of wisdom

that is transferred in that moment when you're not

able to go pick up somebody and they have to wait a little bit extra

time, or you they really would prefer you pick up on Mondays and you can't

or you don't want to. The other thing is also, like, if it doesn't work

with your schedule, it's okay for your children to be unhappy. It's okay

for them to be disappointed. It's okay for them to wish things

were different and then to come to terms with how they are.

Those are really important life skills. That's where grit is

formed and resilience is formed. And a lot of times we

think we, if we can do something we should.

And that's not necessarily true for our

children. Sometimes we can and we

don't want to, so we don't, and they get to,

I don't mean to be like rude about it. Of course, like you said, Angie,

it's like, they're your kids, you're gonna prioritize them. And sometimes

our guilt in our sense of responsibility is

misplaced and it makes it so that we deprive our

children of an opportunity to develop resilience

and grow self-concept and become more competent.

And if you can sell yourself on the idea that

your working life is valuable,

it's not this giant negative for your kids.

Like there's some benefits to that, you know, maybe it

can help relieve relieve some of that guilt. I wondered if we

could talk a minute about the the reality of

it, because it's like, we can say, yes, I want what I want. I

have the desire. I have this passion. I'm interested in work I want

to do. I wanna pursue this thing. Okay. Great. You have your desire. We've normalized

that. And we say, okay, it's good for your kids. Okay. Yep. Normalize that.

Maybe they drop drop the guilt. Now we have the actual

overwhelm of trying to do the things.

And I wondered if you could speak on what that overwhelm is

like and how you support women who feel that way. Because the truth

is it's not an easy path. Yeah.

It's not an easy path, exactly. I mean, it goes back to, you know, what

Angie was saying. So bringing in a village, especially if you have multiple kids and

they're going to many different places and you're like,

alright. Who's our like, who's taking who where tonight, and who can

bring home, or looking at your schedule and saying, this is what I can do.

This works for me, or you have a spouse out of town. And, like, hey.

I need help this week. You know, please help me. Can you take the kids

here? Whatever it may be. And it's, you know, in those weeks, maybe you are

maybe it's dinner out. And because you're like, you know what? I didn't have time

to cook that day, and that's okay. It's not a bad thing. And the kids

actually love it anyway. Or, like, you're just getting chicken nuggets tonight. Sorry. That's what's

happening. Or you're eating breakfast for for dinner. I think it it

gets back to the not having to be perfect. So when when we are overwhelmed

and we're like, hey. We're just in survival mode right now, and that comes in

seasons. Then there might be a season where you're really busy at work and you

just don't have as much time to support things with the

family. And so just how do you prep for that? What does that look like?

Do you know ahead of time it's gonna happen? And, again, it won't look perfect,

and that's okay. And, you know, again, instead of maybe setting those boundaries

up because we can just continue to work and work and work,

and maybe that looks a little different of where alright. I'm really

overwhelmed here. Where do I need to pull back? And is there something I

can do? Do I, you know, do I use paid time off and take off

three hours for mental health before the kids get home from school? Because I just

need it, and I don't need to have a reason to do it. Whatever. That's

what I'm gonna do because I can't do it any other time. Even if it's

just going to the grocery store, even if it's just sitting on the couch, but

I think we need to normalize it being okay for us to

take that time for ourselves, knowing when we need it and

not too far into it where we we can't pull ourselves out. And I

think that's a lot of time where women might get into this space where we

do feel like we have to do it all. We feel like we're drowning, and

we feel like there's nothing there. And so how do we just kinda take a

step back and say, what what do I have control over right now?

Is it my schedule? Is it with work? Is it with kids? Where can I

ask for help? And how do I manage that right now? Even if it's just

one small change, even if it's just doing something here, it doesn't have to

be all the things. It was just one small thing, and it's okay that I

do that. So asking for help, taking care of yourself,

and lowering standards sometimes. Yeah. I because I always call it,

bare minimum parenting. Like there are seasons in our lives where we

just keep people alive. And that's okay. And then there's

seasons where we keep people thriving. And that's also great. And

that is true with work and other

going through a divorce or a death in the family or a major financial

burden, something that's very stressful can make

it so you have less capacity. And those are really great life

strategies, you know, that you described of getting help, taking

time to like reset yourself and also,

yeah, lowering your standards, which is really hard. And I like what

Angie said, like things, I, things did not look how they've not really

looked how I thought they were gonna look, you know, like over and over and

over. It's like, yeah, you get to make it what you want it to

look like. I remember this friend of mine had four kids and,

she said, I said, oh my God, how do you do that with lunches? I

don't understand. How do you do that? And she said, oh, everyone gets the same

sandwich every day. And my brain just broke.

I was like, what? You could just do one

sandwich for each person every day. The same. She's like, yeah.

And then this other friend was like, sometimes I just serve popcorn for dinner.

I was like, Wait, what? We could do that, like, or cereal.

So sometimes we think that there's like rules and then someone

else breaks them. And we're like, I had no idea that

was a possibility. And it's really important to talk

about our overwhelm and be like, oh, this is I can't I can't cope.

And then someone's like, oh, yeah. I don't even bother doing that anymore. Like, I

stopped sending water bottles to school in first grade. And I live in Southern

California. It is hot here. And I was like, I don't care. Use the

drinking fountain. This is my lowest interest and priority. I'm

just like, I didn't wanna look for water bottles, find them, get them out of

backpacks. Yeah. I wasn't even working. I just didn't wanna do that. Anyway,

Angie, what are your tips for overwhelming? Oh, man. I love it. When you say

the sandwich thing, you know, I remember well, you

know, as soon as they can make their own, I'm like, figure figure it out.

Okay? And the funny thing is is when they made their own, he took the

same I I have a daughter too, but it's funny my son keeps coming up.

But he made the same thing every day. Like, he would eat the same thing

three times a day every day. If I like, if that's what we just said,

he would eat the same thing and not care. Like, he's in the process of

doing this outdoor thing right now with school, and he has to make his own

camping food and all that. And I said, what are you taking? And he told

me, I was like, for, like, three days? He's like, yeah. I'm like, every

like, that's all you're gonna eat? He's like, yeah. I'll be fine. I was like,

what was I worried about? But, anyway, but I was just gonna think that,

like, I was I was jotting down when Meaghan was sharing those tips that one

of the women in my small group pod in our community, she was

given some advice because she was feeling I could just there was a lot of

overwhelm. And one of the women looked at her and said, how about try

this? Get up forty five minutes earlier every

day. Just get up at 05:30. And that's where you get

your exercise or your quiet time in. Whatever depending what the day

is. You can get up a little earlier, go to bed a little

earlier. Not your kids aren't up at that time at the where they're

the age they're at. So she's like, they're not up. And the gift that

that has given her, she goes, I can't believe how much

just thirty minutes of uninterrupted maybe it's a

workout, maybe it's not, but it's, like, thirty to forty five minutes

where nobody else is up. And that was, like, a little tip to help

manage the day that was, like, you know, was a big deal. And

then I think even having somebody maybe, someone who's in grade 11 or

12, paying someone to come over after school. They come

over from 03:30 to seven, three thirty to 06:30. It's

three hours, maybe three or four days a week. And that bit of

a break that's like, hey. Play with my kids while one of the

parents can, like, get a workout in, go get groceries, do

the thing, do what that was my first kind of, like,

into, oh, some help. Right? It was like and I was like, oh, this is

like I just remember being like, oh, this is amazing. Like, someone's, like,

watching the kids and like, you know, and, and it was amazing more for my

husband because he was home, you know? And I remember him being like, oh, I

got to like, and it was such a gift. I think the next step is

when it works, the consistency of that childcare, if it's

possible and it's feasible for somebody to get a date

with your spouse is like a big deal. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be

fancy. It doesn't need to be any of that, but that usually

can help create that because it's hard when kids are

younger to get that space, I find, at least from my experience. But

that was one of the gifts of having some childcare help was that it

allowed us to go get time together even if it was a walk,

even if it was, you know, whatever. It was like and I was like, oh,

yeah. You're we're more than ships in passing in the future. It's

like so I mean, and when you have littler kids, it's like dinner, bath,

bed, you're dead like yourself, and you can barely have a conversation

with another person. My husband would come home. He timed it perfectly

all the years that he would come home right after bedtime.

And, I I didn't know how that happened, but

it it he then he'd walk in. He wants to talk about his day and

debrief. And, I just was, so

done. And, yes, learning to set my own boundaries of, like, I can't

you can talk to me on Saturday mornings when I'm up and Adam and I've

got a good groove. Yeah. That's when I'm available, but I'm not available at

08 00:47:32

30 on a Tuesday night. Nope. Yeah. So that kind of

08 00:47:36

knowing yourself, that confidence, being, willing to

08 00:47:39

ask for what you need, getting help, So so helpful.

08 00:47:43

I was thinking when you were saying, Angie, about the high school girl or boy,

08 00:47:47

whatever. I was thinking, just go to the high school and ask the

08 00:47:50

counselors, like, who's on student council but isn't, like in

08 00:47:54

a bunch of other sports? Like, you don't want someone who's in too many sports

08 00:47:58

because they're busy. But if you get someone who's like, you know, really

08 00:48:01

good student and, you know, has some skills and yeah. They

08 00:48:05

probably know who needs some extra cash. Yeah. So go

08 00:48:09

to your high school and ask ask around. I love it.

08 00:48:13

Well, tell us how front row moms works. Like it is a membership model. Can

08 00:48:17

you just give us a little bit of tips on how to join? Because I

08 00:48:20

think people who are listening, who are working parents

08 00:48:24

are looking for this type of support. So tell us how to join or what

08 00:48:28

it looks like. Absolutely. Yeah. So we are a membership based model.

08 00:48:31

Within the membership, we have these small groups that Angie alluded to.

08 00:48:35

So these will be called pods. And so it's a group of four to six

08 00:48:39

women, and you meet with them twice a month. And you get to

08 00:48:42

talk about your wins, possible challenges.

08 00:48:46

You can get feedback from them, and it's just your time to be able to

08 00:48:49

share your own things that you might be going through, get feedback. Maybe we kinda

08 00:48:53

call it positive accountability, positive support. So if there's something you're like,

08 00:48:57

I need you guys to keep hold me accountable to this. This is what I'm

08 00:48:59

focused on, or I'm having this challenge with my husband, or, you know, there's

08 00:49:03

something with my career that I'm looking through or I need support on this.

08 00:49:07

You have that time. And a lot of times, that's that space is hard to

08 00:49:10

find with just having you know, our friends are great, but they might not give

08 00:49:13

you that real feedback in real time. So the small groups as

08 00:49:17

part of the membership, we are, gonna be doing two in person retreats a year,

08 00:49:21

and so you get a discount to the retreats. And those are incredible. Our next

08 00:49:24

one's coming up in November, November fourth to sixth in Austin.

08 00:49:28

And we do virtual events throughout the year. And, Darlin, we're gonna have you on

08 00:49:31

in our next one. So we do virtual events, and they're all based on our

08 00:49:35

pillars. And we have six pillars within our community. And it's,

08 00:49:39

vibrant health, purposeful parenting, thriving relationships,

08 00:49:43

business evolution, emotional intelligence, and financial empowerment.

08 00:49:46

And so these are all the things that we really feel are encompassing to

08 00:49:50

women independence and what we value. And so we usually

08 00:49:54

have expert speakers come in and speak on a specific topic. A lot of

08 00:49:58

our events, whether it's in person or virtual, there's a lot of

08 00:50:01

interaction. So it's not just somebody talking at you. You're actually inter

08 00:50:05

interacting with folks. You're having deep conversations. You're able time to reflect.

08 00:50:09

So we love to have experts, come in and and do those types of

08 00:50:13

of presentations for us. Yeah. And then, in addition, we

08 00:50:16

have a partnership with a company called Incredible Family,

08 00:50:20

and it's a strength based parenting program that

08 00:50:24

allows you to take a short assessment, where are some of my strengths, and how

08 00:50:28

do how do I leverage those strengths when I'm parenting versus

08 00:50:31

sometimes we see them as a challenge. You know? I'm too this or I'm too

08 00:50:35

that. And and so Kelly McGinnis, who runs that, one of our members, she's does

08 00:50:39

a great job of helping people learn those. And then what's your partner's strengths,

08 00:50:42

and how can you how can you leverage those, which is, I think, really

08 00:50:46

positive and and adds a lot. And then we have a

08 00:50:49

private Slack community where members, have, you know, space to

08 00:50:53

be able to ask questions and comments and share resources and

08 00:50:57

ideas, and then each pod can share as well. And so those pods are like

08 00:51:01

I guess, it's a great way to think about them like a bridge between the

08 00:51:05

in person retreats. And so it allows you to form these little

08 00:51:08

deeper and faster to get deep dive conversations quicker with that

08 00:51:12

small group of women. And then when we go to the retreats, they get an

08 00:51:15

opportunity to get exposed and continue to build upon those relationships too.

08 00:51:19

Yeah. So beautiful. Yeah. I love all of it, the

08 00:51:22

pillars and the experts, and I'm excited to join the community

08 00:51:26

and members of my community can join. So we're gonna give you guys a code

08 00:51:30

so you can come to that parenting, talking from chaos to

08 00:51:33

calm. Yeah. And some strategies for parenting in, in this

08 00:51:37

way of the calm mama process. And also just for

08 00:51:41

anybody who's trying to figure out how to balance while staying emotionally

08 00:51:44

regulated. And so that'll be coming up. We'll share all those details

08 00:51:48

for the pod. So thank you so much. How can people find you? How

08 00:51:52

can they join? How can they sign up? What's the best way to get to

08 00:51:55

know your community? Yep. Website from remomoms.com. You can find us there.

08 00:51:59

So we have all talked to any of our events coming up, who we are.

08 00:52:02

You can sign up just to get more information for upcoming events, and we also

08 00:52:05

have our membership details on there. We have a Facebook group online, Front Row

08 00:52:09

Moms. It's a closed Facebook group. We have a Facebook page. We have

08 00:52:13

an Instagram account, Front Row Moms on there. So those are probably the

08 00:52:17

best ways. Wonderful. Well, thanks again for being on the podcast.

08 00:52:21

Such a delight. And you two are just doing

08 00:52:25

doing God's work, as they say, well, helping all these moms,

08 00:52:28

you know, live their dreams. Really. So hats off to

08 00:52:32

you. Thank you. Thanks for having us on. Thank you.

08 00:52:36

Yeah. Alright. I really hope you enjoyed that episode. It

08 00:52:40

was really a delight for me to meet Angie and Megan and to learn about

08 00:52:43

front row moms. And I'm really excited because I have the

08 00:52:47

opportunity to speak to the front row moms community in a

08 00:52:51

couple of weeks. I've been invited to speak at one of their parenting

08 00:52:55

summits, and that's gonna be on Thursday, June 19

at 10 00:52:59

30 Pacific. And anyone listening is

at 10 00:53:02

invited to join us in this

at 10 00:53:06

workshop, in this webinar. It's gonna be really interactive, and the topic

at 10 00:53:10

is chaos to calm. And I'm gonna be talking about some of the foundational

at 10 00:53:13

principles that I teach in my programs around self

at 10 00:53:17

regulation, emotional connection with our kids, and

at 10 00:53:20

boundaries. I'm gonna kinda go through the calm mama process, and I'll speak for

at 10 00:53:24

a bit and then open up for questions. And normally, the cost

at 10 00:53:28

is $45. But if you are part of my newsletter, if you

at 10 00:53:32

receive my newsletter, you will get a coupon code that makes the

at 10 00:53:35

event free for you to attend. It'll give you a real good taste

at 10 00:53:39

of what it's like to be in the front row moms community and

at 10 00:53:43

also get to know me if you've never seen saw me teach

at 10 00:53:47

or you don't really know you're not familiar. You're just learning about the podcast

at 10 00:53:50

now and you're kinda curious about my teaching style, that would also be a

at 10 00:53:54

great opportunity for you to get to know me as well as Front Row Moms.

at 10 00:53:58

So you can sign up for that event at

at 10 00:54:01

frontrowmoms.com under events.

at 10 00:54:05

And if you are not part of the newsletter and you didn't get the code

at 10 00:54:09

to join for free for the front row moms event,

at 10 00:54:13

be sure to do that. You can subscribe to my newsletter at my website,

at 10 00:54:16

commamacoaching.com. Go to the resources page.

at 10 00:54:20

Pick any free resource. Click on that. You'll get a free resource

at 10 00:54:24

from me, like the stop yelling cheat sheet or the summer toolkit

at 10 00:54:28

or ways to calm yourself, calm your nervous system as a

at 10 00:54:31

parent. Any of those resources are available for free, and it'll

at 10 00:54:35

put you on the newsletter. And then you'll get the code for

at 10 00:54:39

the front row moms event, which is a $45 savings. So lots of

at 10 00:54:43

good reasons to hang out in my newsletter and also to

at 10 00:54:46

join us at this event and then plus get to know front row moms.

at 10 00:54:50

So be sure to take advantage of this opportunity,

at 10 00:54:54

and I'm wishing you just a great week. And I will talk to you next

at 10 00:54:58

time.