Hey, friends.

Welcome back to Faithfield Woman.

This is your host, Kristen.

I just wanted to come on and check in with everybody.

It is a week away from Christmas Eve and I.

I know with that can bring busyness, a rushing, a time that feels a bit chaotic or maybe crammed with activities and events and things we have to do.

Maybe.

You have wrapping paper and ribbons all over your house.

I know.

Even in my office I have stacks of boxes and scraps of wrapping paper and all the things.

And part of me just wants everything to just look lovely.

That's not my reality.

At least not yet.

So I just came to talk to you about what?

What do we do when things seem busy or chaotic or we feel out of sorts?

And so we're going to talk a little bit out the book House youe Soul by Judith Smith today and as he says, why everything that matters starts with the inside.

So I'm going to share with you four things that can help us just be reconnected and make sure that from a soul level, we are centered and grounded and just connected to God and each other.

Welcome to Faith Fueled Woman, a podcast designed for Christian women eager to deepen their faith and shine God's light in every aspect of their lives.

Each week we'll delve into practical strategies, inspiring stories and biblical wisdom to equip you with the tools you need to navigate life's challenges and grow deeper in your faith.

From finding calm in the chaos, forming deep Christian friendships, to everyday ways to connect with God.

We'll cover it all.

Hi, I'm your host Kristen.

I'm an encourager, a faith led entrepreneur, a mom and a wife.

Let's be encouraged in our everyday lives as we let our faith guide us, fuel us and fill us with God's incredible peace, wisdom and joy in our lives.

Okay, today's a mini episode.

Tomorrow I have an interview coming out with Dr.

Gary and that's a great interview.

It really just talking about how most of us are holding on to some level of rejection or something that's happened to us in it, especially things that happened to us when we were younger were holding on to those things and it often halted our emotional maturity.

So check that out if that's of interest to you tomorrow.

Okay.

So I bought this book some years ago.

Like I said, it's called how's your soul?

But as I was actually skimming the parts of a million little miracles and just checked out the devotional by Bob Goff, check catching whimsy that I will, I will go through next year because it's 365 days of possibility.

I'll start the devotional January 1st.

But I was looking at my bookshelf, and then this.

This one just kind of spoke to me because, you know, on the seam it says, how's your soul?

And I thought, you know, let me.

Let me grab that.

And when I did, I thought, oh, my gosh, I need to look at this book again.

I need to read it from COVID to cover.

When I first got it, I didn't read the whole thing.

I often get more than one book at a time, so sometimes I will just skim through bits of it or I'll read a little bit each day.

So in the book, one of the things the author talks about is what are the things we need for a healthy soul or a healthy soul environment?

And I think they're going to surprise you.

I think you're going to be relieved to hear these things and actually, I think excited.

So this is not a checklist of things that you have to do, more things necessarily.

This is not a checklist of, like, you're not doing a good enough job.

These are actually things that I think if you.

If we all get.

Lets us live a life that actually, like I've talked about before, makes us feel better because the pace makes sense.

What we're working on in our attitude, our perspective, is more aligned with how we were made.

Okay, so I'm going to share a little bit, just a little bit of his book.

So.

All right.

So.

So first of all, I should say there's four elements.

And the first element that Judah, the author, brings up is that God actually designed us for rest.

And what he means by that is, is God designed us to enjoy the world, to delight in it.

I shared an episode recently about the Hebrew word for delight.

And.

Right.

He designed us to enjoy everything he's put on this earth.

And he also designed us to rest.

Right?

God rested after he created the world, and he created a Sabbath for us so that we wouldn't overdo, we wouldn't overwork because he knows we're at our best when we rest.

Okay?

So that's the first thing we need for a healthy soul, Meaning we can't just burn the candle at both ends and expect to be healthy.

Like, our bodies aren't going to be healthy, but we're not going to even be healthy at a soul level because we're going to be spinning in a chaotic state, a rushed and busy flight or fight state.

Okay, so let me just get to what I Wanted to share.

Okay.

So he said, let me just find it.

Well, I want to share this first.

He said if.

If we pulled people and asked them what they thought religion in a relationship with God was all about, what do you think they'd say?

I think many would answer.

It's about rules, about morals, about keeping the ten Commandments behaving and being good.

And if.

If they were honest, I think they may continue.

Actually, I should probably go back to church.

I feel bad.

I feel guilty.

My life's not right.

I think God is mad at me.

Right.

How many of us feel some little or big pang of guilt or pang of shame that we're not doing enough, we're not good enough?

So many of us have these themes that come through our minds or we think, you know, we're not following religious law well enough.

And so this is what the author goes on to say.

Here's what I don't think a lot of people would say.

Relationship with God.

It's about enjoying God.

It's about enjoying life, nature, good food and friends.

It's about rest.

Rest is what God wants for my life.

And then he goes on later to say, God wants to remind us how imperative rest and enjoyment are for our souls.

So the first description we get, the garden, is that the foliage is fun to look at and the food tastes amazing.

And then he says, why rest first?

Rest first.

Because God is first.

A restless soul is a soul that thinks it is in control and needs to take care of everything.

Let me re say that because I think a lot of us need to hear this and absorb in this idea.

A restless soul is a soul that thinks it is in control and needs to take care of everything.

How many people need to raise their hand on that sentence?

We're trying to do it in our own strength.

We're trying to take it all on.

All right.

He goes on to say, if we do not rest, we are trying to be our own God.

Yikes.

Then he says we have to remember that even when we rest, God does not.

When we sleep, God does not.

And when we cease working, God does not.

He says, I think God was communicating to Adam.

You know that none of this was because of you, right?

I created all of this on my own and I gave it to you.

So don't take yourself too seriously then there, slugger.

Okay.

There's something I did.

I made you too.

So you are not God.

It's not all on you.

I love you and made you just for me.

So how about you enjoy the trees, eat Some fruit and relax a bit.

You're not that big of a deal, just FYI.

How great is that?

So, friends, the first thing we need to do to have a healthy soul is to rest and delight in what God's created.

So, first of all, I think that's amazing, and I think that theme has come up a few times recently on the podcast.

So hopefully, maybe we'll take note, especially in this season and as we step into a new year in a couple of weeks.

All right.

The next element of a healthy soul that Judah brings up is he says responsibility, but it's actually he's talking about, you know, having some purpose is the way I'd say it.

You know, so having work that matters, also caring for things, having assignments, having activity and work that matters, and knowing that no matter what that work is, that we put our whole heart into it, our whole soul into it, and we do our best.

Okay, let me see if I can find that, that area.

One scripture he shares in this area about responsibility is Ecclesiastes 9, 10, which says, whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.

And he says, have you ever stopped to think that maybe responsibility is a key to fulfillment and joy on the inside?

Maybe soul satisfaction is tied more to responsibility itself than to a particular role or a dream job.

And he goes on to share that he actually started at the church that he's a pastor at as a custodian, because he knew he wanted to work at the church, and that was the job that was opened.

But he goes on to explain that even when he became the pastor, he was no more happy than when he was the custodian.

In other words, he showed up as a custodian to do his best work, to enjoy doing the work.

He still had fun doing the work, but as he had a higher level right of respect or regard and had more to do, more responsibility, he wasn't necessarily happier.

You know, in other words, he said, don't wait for a certain role to come along.

Your soul's happiness and health are not dependent upon a role.

Your soul was designed to do whatever you do with everything within it.

It needs responsibility to be healthy.

There is a good chance that responsibility is right in front of you.

So, like I said, responsibility.

He's using that word because he uses the four R's, but it's really showing up and doing our best.

Whether it's caring for something or someone, whether it's the assignments we've been given that might be temporary.

Whatever activity we're doing, whatever work we're doing or whatever task we're doing, we do it with a open heart and remember that this is purposeful.

And so I think that's beautiful.

And you know, whether we're doing the laundry for our family or whether we're running off, you know, to our jobs in the morning, or whether we're tending to a garden or doing all of those things, the point is, if we do it knowing that this is, that there's purpose in those things, then we will have a healthier soul because we will have more fulfillment, right?

If we know that every conversation that we have, if we know that every act of service that we do, if we know that everything we tend to, whether that's feeding our children or giving the garden what it needs, or giving a pep talk to one of our team members, all of it matters.

And when we remember that, when we remember that it's the way we show up in our moments, it's that we keep showing up to say, how can I be of service today?

How can I be someone that makes a difference in the small cracks and the crevices, in the moments, in the seconds, instead of thinking it's only about a big purpose.

Because our purpose can change over time.

Maybe we have the same gifts and abilities, but they might be, and most likely are going to be used in different ways over years and decades.

So, friends, while it's great to know kind of what our mission is here, that is important if we can understand it.

But it's more important in how we show up in the work we're doing and the attitude we have and the way we do it.

So that's the second one.

The third one is, he calls it restraint, self imposed restraint.

And he's just saying that if we don't have any restraint, right, it would be kind of like a, a wild.

He doesn't say it like this like, but it would be like a wild party.

Like it never ends.

We were like little kids.

If they didn't have anyone to kind of help moderate them, they might stay up too late every night and then they'd be cranky the next day.

You know, they'd eat all the sweets and then have a stomach ache.

And so he's talking about self imposed restraints, meaning that we, we have checks and balances that help us be healthy, mind, body and spirit.

And so that's what he's talking about.

And so another way that he, or that I would explain is what it means is growing in spiritual maturity, meaning that we, we have these boundaries or we realize, gosh, when I step really late, more than one night, I feel cruddy for days.

Like I just feel out of it, I brain fog, maybe I'm a little more short tempered.

And then we say, huh, you know what?

Like that's not a good idea.

So maybe my boundary or my restraint has to be that I really do go to bed at a reasonable hour or I get enough hours of sleep most nights.

So that's what we're talking about.

So it's not really supposed to be a punishment, right?

Self imposed restraint.

It's supposed to be if we want to live our best lives, we make good choices.

And I don't mean we make good choices every moment.

Most of us don't.

I surely do not.

Right?

There's plenty of choices.

I stayed up too late binging a show one night or you know, whatever it might be.

And so, but overall we need to, we need to be aware enough, self aware enough to set restraints and set boundaries and have checks and balances in our lives.

In other words, he says God gave us free will because we have to choose, right to have the relationship with God.

We have to choose how we live.

But really what this restraint is about is it's freedom within limits.

Meaning we have freedom, but if we don't set any limits, we can literally like go off the edge, right?

Or like literally crash.

And so that's what we're talking about.

So if you want a healthy soul, right?

So far we've talked about rest and delighting in God and resting our bodies so that we are showing up our best selves and so that we also know that God is working for us.

We don't have to do everything of our ourselves.

Next, are we showing up and having some responsibility in life?

So in other words, are we showing up to be of service?

Are we caring and tending for the things that are in our life?

Are we showing up with the right attitude and perspective in the tasks, the projects, the work that's put in front of us or upon us and caring for the people around us?

Next is restraint.

In other words, are we growing in our spiritual maturity?

Are we having some boundaries or checks and balances so that we can live a healthy life, especially at the soul level?

If we don't do these things, what happens is we can literally stay in flight or fight, you know, just always amped up, feeling stressed out or cortisol is going up and just that, burning the candles at both ends.

We're exhausted and we're not going to show up and do well for anyone if we're doing that, especially ourselves, but for anyone else either.

Okay.

The last one that he talks about for having a healthy soul is relationship.

And of course I love that because this, this is something I think we all know intuitively that if we don't have a healthy relationship in our life, that could be one person, it could be your spouse, it could be a friend or a group of friends, it could be your, you know, you're a sibling.

But we need relationships in our life because we were literally designed to live in community, designed for connection.

Remember that connection is with each other and with God.

We were designed, right.

We have this divine whole or connection in our bodies and we're meant to commune with God, if you will.

Okay, so he says about relationships.

Well, first of all, he gives the example that after he created Adam, he decided that he wanted to create a.

I will make a helper suitable for him is what one of the versions of the Bible says.

And then he says, even though Adam's soul was.

This is what Judah says.

Even though Adam's soul was perfect, it was not healthy for it to be alone.

Not only that, but God personally was going to provide companionship in relationship.

We are by nature relational beings.

Remit for community.

Even the most introverted, solitary personality types need at least some level of human interaction in order to maintain healthy, thriving, vibrant souls.

It is unhealthy for our souls to be isolated or without relationship.

And I don't know about you, but I mean, this.

There's even data on this, right?

They've researched this and they show that one of the through lines, one of the constants is that people that tend to live the longest, they have deep relationships.

Meaning.

Now, of course, sometimes there's health issues and someone might not live the longest.

But the point is, when they looked at the average person that lived the most years, so they had the most longevity, those people, you know, one, they were still active, right?

There's certain characteristics, but one of them was they still had deep or meaningful relationships in their lives.

And this could have been a loved one, it could have been a close friend, but it at least meant that they had community, could have been neighbors.

It could have been that they go and did a.

It went, went to a gardening group every week, whatever it was, but they had people that were consistent in their life, that if they needed something, they could rely on them.

And so this is huge.

I mean, this isn't just this book telling us, this isn't just the Bible giving us examples of it.

Which is obviously the most important, right?

It's our guidebook, if you will.

But even the data shows us that people that have healthy relationships, one, tend to live longer, but two, they usually have better outcomes.

If something is going on, it's going on in their life.

So for instance, last year I had a head injury.

And I mean, it wasn't major in the sense of like, I didn't have major problems.

I had, I had some issues.

Like my hearing was strange for two months, you know, just different issues.

But when I went to the neurologist, he said to me, oh, well, you should be fine.

He said, most people, if you already have things going well in your life in some way, right, like you have.

He didn't use a sword.

But if you have purpose, if you have relationships, these things.

He said, most of the time the outcomes for those people are really good.

It's the people, unfortunately, that are downtrodden, maybe are isolated.

They, maybe they've lost their job, but they don't have a support system.

Those are the people that tend to have worse outcomes health wise.

Now, like I said this, that is just a generalized statement.

Of course, we all know people that have, or have a chronic illness or maybe that have passed, that had an illness.

I'm not saying that just because we have relationships, those things, those outcomes can't happen.

What I'm saying though is if you're going through something and it's not terminal, and even if it is terminal, but we have better outcomes.

So whether that's while we're living or that we get to live longer.

So, you know, that's all I'm trying to say.

So here's what he says about relationships.

So he says, here are my questions in my appeal to you as we talk about a healthy soul.

Are you intentional about your friends?

Are they helping you?

Do you fit together?

He says, yes, I think we should live big.

We should draw big circles, be inclusive, be forgiving and be kind.

But we can't be intimate friends with all 7 billion people on the planet.

I think it's 8 now.

We can't be close friends with a few thousand people, probably not even a few hundred.

Realistically, we might be close, intimate friends with only a dozen people, maybe a few more or a few less, depending on our individual capacities and personalities.

So we'd better choose those people intentionally, carefully and carefully.

And then he just says this.

These are the people who are feeding you on the inside.

They are giving you life.

I'm sorry, are they giving you life?

Are they serving or Only taking.

Are they building you up or tearing you down?

Are they healing your soul or hurting your soul?

By the same token, are you providing for the needs of their souls?

A healthy friendship is a two way street.

Consider carefully the relationships in your life.

A lot of people take relationships as they come with little analysis or long term thought.

You want to hang out every night?

Sure.

You want to date me?

Sounds good.

Sleep together?

Hey, why not?

Friendships and relationships are more important than that.

Be careful and be intentional.

Let God lead you.

How amazing is that?

And you know, really what he's trying to say is that who we do life with matters so much.

And God gave us this gift of relationship, of community, of friendship.

When we steward it well, it can really lift us up.

It can be life giving.

These friendships, these relationships, when we don't steer, steward it well.

Or if we don't see patterns, right, that maybe we keep gravitating towards someone that isn't healthy for us, then that can actually be detrimental to us.

And I'm not saying if you have a friend that's struggling, or maybe you're struggling like your friend should all leave you or vice versa, but what I am saying is if there's good in that relationship and if there's good in you and good in that person, and you guys mean well, like you care for each other or you know, you can count on them, right in some cases, or they just would support you, then that's what we're talking about.

We're all imperfect, right?

So we're not looking for perfect friends or perfect partners.

What we're looking for is people that we can do life with.

And when we do that, when we add that layer into our lives, we are going to have a healthier soul because we were designed for connection and community.

And I would also remind us that relationship isn't just with others, but it's relationship with God.

So how do we tap into more of that?

And he says this about relationships.

I believe relationships can be created, ordained and put together by the hands of God.

Those God given relationships will create an environment where your soul can thrive.

But I do want to wrap up with this last little paragraph in this chapter he shares and he says, maybe as you read this, you think to yourself, can I tell you right now my soul is not in a healthy place?

And he shares Proverbs 18:14 that says a healthy spirit conquers adversity.

But what can you do when the spirit is crushed?

And he says, what can you do when your spirit is crushed?

What can you do when the inside you is broken and unhealthy.

He says, go to the originator and designer of your soul.

Go to the one who gave you breath to begin with and say, okay, God, I'm starting over.

I'm starting fresh.

I want to be healthy to my core.

I want to focus on my soul and my heart, not just my physical body or external circumstances.

God will help you.

He'll give you rest.

He'll guide you inappropriate responsibilities.

He'll surround you with safe restraints.

He'll provide relationships that fit and friends who help you navigate the twists and turns and ups and downs of life.

And I think that's a beautiful way to wrap up this episode.

But I think at this time of year, as we head into Christmas and we are reminded of the birth of Jesus, we're reminded of what Jesus did on this earth and for all of us and for eternity.

I think it's so important to remember, how do we have a healthy soul in the times that we live in?

How do we have a healthy soul in the midst of a broken, sinful world that's hurting so much?

You know, we have more mental health struggles than ever.

It's.

There's just a lot.

There's a heaviness in the world.

There's also the opposite, the inverse.

There is light.

There is light everywhere.

Even if it's sometimes hard for us to feel it or see it, we need to look for it.

And we need to do our best to be our healthiest so we are part of the light so that we can point people and shine people to who God is and that God is love.

And that God wants good things for us and he wants us to do good.

So, friends, this season I just encourage you.

Take a little time, reflect, ask yourself the questions, how am I really?

How am I at the soul level?

Have I ever actually done the work or the exercise, if you will, right?

Have I done the reps to have a healthy soul?

Do I do reflection on?

Am I resting?

Am I delighting in what God's created and that he's calling us to rest?

Do I take my work, my assignments, my activities seriously?

Am I showing up to be of service?

Am I showing up with an open heart?

Am I putting boundaries, checks and balances or guardrails in my life that work for my life and for who I am that will help me be my best, including best, healthiest soul that I can be?

And am I nurturing and inviting in healthy, mature relationships that are mutually beneficial to us so that I can grow and thrive.

And are we finding time to connect with God?

Are we connecting in nature?

Because I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, connecting in nature, seeing God's creation on a regular basis, it's really important.

And so I just encourage you this season, if you have a couple days off, find the time to reflect a little bit on how you're living and if it, if it aligns with any of these things and if it doesn't, maybe you you look to next year to make some small shifts.

I hope you have a beautiful Christmas week.

Of course, I'll be back on here next week as well to end out the new year and Christmas, but until then, I hope you have a beautiful day.

I hope you find time for rest to be of service, to have those guardrails put up, and to make a difference in people's lives.

Till then, love you bunches.

See you later.

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