Yeah, there's so much ahead of you, and that's

that's actually what makes the heart excited and joyful and

happy like true joy comes from the surprise of life. It comes

from the unknown, right? It doesn't come from the

predetermined path that you've controlled and contrived to have

some sense of safety. It comes from the unexpected, right and

yet most so if you're really attached to the script, probably

you have some controller archetype playing out in the

saboteurs. And most controller women are terrified of the

unknown, so they do everything in their power to make things

planned, overly planned, predictable, so they know that

they're going to be safe and everything's organized and

everything's going to be good, and it's like that is the very

thing that is robbing you from experiencing the magic. Hello,

my loves. Kate Harlow here, welcome back to the new truth

Podcast. Today we're going to delve into that topic of what to

do when you've got everything you've ever wanted, you have the

greatest life, or maybe that you thought you wanted, and you're

still not happy. I think this is a very common feeling that women

experience inside of the Western world and the patriarchy, this

feeling of nothing. I talked a little bit about this in last

week's fantasy episode, about how there's this kind of

insatiable feeling like nothing's ever quite enough. And

there's always this chase for something more, something more,

something more. And you know, the first thing I think of when

I think of this problem, is something I hear from women all

the time, especially women that start to work with me, it's

like, okay, obviously there's something I'm missing. I have

everything I ever wanted, and I don't feel connected to any of

it. And I use this example a lot, but I always think of the

Elizabeth Gilbert scene because it was so relatable. The scene

in Eat, Pray, Love, where she's laying in her bed, and she's her

laying next to her husband, feeling so disconnected, so

lonely, just aching for more. And her husband says, I don't

want to go to Aruba. And she says, I don't want to be

married. And then she essentially just makes a massive

exit and shifts her life in a really big way, and goes on this

journey. Eat, Pray, Love to Italy, Indonesia. And, oh,

Italy, India, Indonesia, on her Eat, Pray, Love journey. And,

you know, I think that the reason this story is so

relatable is because it's it's going to impact every single

woman who made decisions in her life based on following what she

thought she should do or what everyone else was doing, or

following the the scripted condition life. And it's not to

say you made the wrong choices right. It's not to say that

you're with the wrong person, or that you don't want to be a

parent, or that you don't want to like have the life that you

have, or maybe be in the job that you're in. It doesn't mean

that the choices necessarily are wrong. But if the part of you

that made those decisions was the part that just thought, Oh,

this is just what we do, right? How many, how many of us make

our life choices from that place, it's just like, Okay,

where is my partner? They should show up now, because, you know,

that's the timeline. That's, it's it's time. This is the

schedule got to follow, the schedule that I was taught that

I needed to follow. Where is he okay? Now I got him. Now we got

to plan this next thing. And we're just taught to plan our

futures. And I think about how obsessive, even our parents

generation, like, how good they were at planning, maybe not all

of them came my parents were their friends, like, I'm good at

planning, their retirement planning, vacations planning,

you know, future things. And they spend so much time

planning, I think because that generation is a product of post

war, their parents were in war, and they were a product of the

Depression and the Holocaust and all of these crazy things that

happened so so many of them, like, all that mattered in that

generation was stability, right? All that mattered in that

generation was safety. Was perceived. Safety was was just

hunkering down, buying a house, investing and, you know, sitting

still, sitting pretty for the rest of your life and just

working really hard to make ends meet to get by. And obviously,

that's not everyone's story. But, you know, I think the baby

boomer generation and beyond that was the mentality, because

it was a very different world back then, and yet we have the

same mentality, even though the world has infinite opportunity.

Now there's, I mean, people are afraid of losing their jobs, but

you can also create your job. Like I said, I created my job,

you can create, if you're actually connected to your

divinity, you can co create your purpose with universe. Which is

like, what your soul is here to do, but we're still following

the same old script of like, I need a good job. I need a good

husband. I need a good house. I need, you know, I need all of

these things externally so so many women spent so much time

focusing on the external world, building all of these things,

checking the boxes and making sure that their future was

secured. Meanwhile, they don't even know their future self yet.

So we're securing our lives for our future, but we don't even

know who we're going to be in the future and if that life is

going to align with who we become. So here's the

predicament. I have everything I ever wanted, and I'm still not

happy. I have a really great, amazing life, and I still can't

feel any of it. I don't get to really enjoy any of it. So I

came across this poet today, and I went down the rabbit hole of

looking into him. David Jay white, you might know of him.

He's been in the game a really long time. He's, I think, 69

he's a British, British, Irish. And I watched this. Actually,

someone sent me a reel, and I watched this reel. How do you

know that you're on your path? He says, Well, it disappears.

That's how you know you're on your true path. The future

disappears. You don't know what the future is. You're literally

walking blindly into the unknown. That's how you know

you're following your heart, is that you cannot see that path

before you, right? But we've been so conditioned to believe

that we have to see the path before us or else, we're gonna,

we're gonna, we're gonna suffer. It's gonna be horrible. It's

going to be every worst case scenario your mind can conjure

if you don't have the path perfectly carved out before you.

So we spent so many years carving out the path and

creating this predictable future, but in a predictable

future, lives misery and suffering and numbness and

anxiety. Why? Because life is alive. I said this in the last

message, your life is alive. It's a living, breathing thing,

right? It's always changing with every season, with every

opportunity, with every challenge. You're always growing

and changing, especially if you're following this podcast in

one similar and you're here to actively evolve as a soul.

You're always changing. So why would we want to predetermine

where we're going if we're always becoming new? Right?

Because we've been indoctrinated to be afraid of the unknown, to

fear it. So we gotta plan everything to make sure we're

safe in the future. Meanwhile, nobody gets to actually really

experience life, right? You might it might look really good

on the outside, but you're missing the actual adventure of

the experience. Another thing he said, David, David is that his

name? David White? Yeah. David J White

is set off on the adventure. Everything is waiting for you.

Everything is waiting for you. Like, gosh, I felt that so

deeply. Has a poem called Everything is waiting for you,

and it I think every episode of the new truth is alluding to

this, but it's like this unscripted path that is

following the pulse of your own heart, right, following and

trusting in the beauty of your own heart, trusting in the in

the reactions of your own heart. Your Own Heart will will react

and respond to places, people, experiences, situations, and

when you have the courage to listen to it and to not believe

the fear based stories your mind will conjure, because your mind

will come up with all the self doubt in the world to stop you

from following your heart because she believes that's not

safe. But when you have the courage to follow your own

heart, you get to experience life. You really get to

experience life. So if you are the woman who has a great on

paper life, and you do not feel happy. It's because you've built

up the outside of your life, which looks great. It's getting

great approval, great reviews. You know, you're getting five

star reviews from all around you. People think you're so

happy. How many of you have had that experience where someone

comes up to you and they're like, oh my gosh, I've seen you

on Instagram lately. You look amazing. You look amazing, and

you look so happy. I'm so happy for you. Instead of them

actually asking, like, how are you feeling? What's happening in

your life? So and, and have you also ever had the feeling where

someone asks you how you are or, like, what you've been up to,

and you feel this pressure, like you have to say something

interesting. That's the fantasy addict, that's the performer,

right? The performers like, Oh, I gotta be interesting. I gotta

have something cool to say. My life is the same every day. It's

boring, like I have nothing to share. But wouldn't you rather I

like my my heart breaks a little bit imagining, because I used to

do that. I used to think I was boring and I had I remember, I

used to even like, go on vacation. Vacations just so I

could, like, make people jealous that I went on vacation. Like,

that's how much the fantasy attic was running in my life

before it was like I had to have a really cool life for other

people to approve of my life, for other people to think it was

cool, to think it was interesting, to be jealous of my

life. And now I think my life is cooler than ever before. But

actually, I really don't care how people respond or receive my

life, or approve or disapprove of my life, because my life's no

longer a performance for other people's approval. My life is a

place where I get to play and adventure and experience all of

who I am. So for the woman who is aching inside for something

more. Maybe you feel numb. Maybe you've been intentionally

numbing yourself with different, you know, pills or alcohol or

food or whatever, for a really long time, because your life

doesn't really feel like your own. That's a byproduct of

signing up for all these labels. I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a I'm

a boss, I'm a this, I'm a that, and we wear I'm a single woman,

I'm a widow, I'm a divorced woman. We wear all these labels

that become our identity. But the problem with identity is

it's fixed, right? And that's like putting yourself in a box.

No soul ever wants to be in a box, right? No heart ever wants

to be in a box. Your heart and soul are always evolving, and

they're always calling to you, and they're always speaking to

you. So if you are feeling the call, if you're feeling the stir

internally, it does not mean you have to blow up your entire

life, although sometimes that's the best option, but, but what

if you were to walk through it intentionally, like I think of

if you were to walk through changing your life and your

relationship within yourself with intention. Would you blow

up your life? Probably not. You would very intentionally check

in. I always say to my clients, like before you leave your job,

have you practiced bringing your heroine to work? And it seems so

many women completely transform this job that they thought they

hated into doing work that felt really meaningful, because they

were actually just more present in the moment, rather than just

getting through the day to the end of the day, getting through

the hour, getting through the week, getting through the month

that so many of us are just trying to get by, that we're

we're missing how much creative control we have over the

experience, like you actually can bring your heart, your joy,

your Curiosity, your presence, to even a job you've had for 30

years and experience a completely different result with

your work. On the other hand, you might bring your heroine to

work. You might bring your fullest present self to work and

actually realize this job is so outdated. Why am I holding

myself to this old identity that I've completely outgrown and

pretending it's still me when it's not right? Allow yourself

to be new and in life, if we I think I said this actually last

episode, maybe, but it's like the practice. This is why I love

meditation so much and doing my morning practices, because it's

the practice of, can you greet yourself and let yourself be new

every single day, right? But if you are not even greeting

yourself and you just have this great on paper life, but you

don't feel any of it, it's time to get to know your own heart

and soul. And there's so many ways to do that, but really the

biggest connection you can have is to the present moment. That's

how doing anything that drops you into the now is how you

start to explore your inner world and get to know your inner

world. I also heard something the other day that was really

poignant. Did you actually have it all if it wasn't all of you?

Did you actually have it all if it all, if it wasn't all of you.

So how many women look like they have it all? And those are the

women that other women are jealous of, right? If you have

it all, other women are looking at you going, Oh, she's so

lucky. Look, she got the husband, she got the house, she

got the career, she got the corner office. Wow, she's she's

got the hot body, she's got the this, she's got the that. And

like all these women are comparing themselves to your

life that's that's beautiful on the outside, but empty on the

inside, right? Because she doesn't have it all if she

doesn't have herself. And yet, we've only been taught to build.

It's like, if you imagine your life as a house, you were only

taught to build the outside. You were only taught to, like, build

a big house and make sure it has big windows and make sure it it

has many floors and many rooms, and you're only taught to, like,

build the actual house, but nobody taught you how to

actually decorate it, how to design it so it feels good for

you, how to how to create rooms inside of your house that

activate who you are, right? It's like nobody taught you

about being in relationship with the inside of you.

So if you think of your mind is fixed. Your mind is constantly

putting labels on you and wanting to stick you in a box,

but your heart is always growing and evolving. I like to think of

the metaphor of a flower. Your heart is a flower, and it's

always blue. Being every you know. And can you keep watering

it, keep nourishing it, keep giving it all the nutrients it

needs, so it can keep blooming, and all the old petals that no

longer fit will fall away. And what is your heart? What is this

flower of your heart made of all the different aspects of your

life that that bring you joy, that bring you nourishment, that

smell good, that taste good, that feel good, right, getting

out of the mind of what you should do and start paying

attention to how you feel inside of every experience, that's how

you create a life you love. But it also takes being tremendously

honest with yourself, because your saboteur mind is so sneaky,

and your saboteur will tell you like, Oh no, this is just how it

goes. And you don't get to prioritize yourself and think of

all the bad things that will happen if you do that. But the

reality is, if you don't prioritize yourself, you will

just keep walking through this life feeling numb and

disconnected instead of actually experiencing what your soul is

here to experience everything is waiting for you so and your path

disappears. You cannot see what's ahead of you, yet that is

where all the magic lies. And you know, every time you feel

afraid of the unknown, this is what I do every time I'm afraid

of the unknown, which is happening a lot lately, not a

lot. But you know, every few days I have some sort of fear of

going to Kenya and not knowing where I'm going to live and not

go. And I keep giving it to the angels in universe. I keep

saying, Okay, I know this is divinely guided, so show me the

way. Keep showing me the way. I trust you. You've got this. I'm

just saying yes to my heart. That's my only job. So that's

your only job. So as you go on this deeper inquiry of Eat,

Pray, Love, get to know your own pleasure, right? Get to know

your own divinity, like she did in the movie. Get to know your

own love, the frequency that lives inside of you. And then

when you live from the frequency of the heart, it's such a simple

job. You just have to say yes and no, which now, because my

whole life is designed to be in alignment with my true desires,

my yeses and no are so clear, and then the only thing I'm

dealing with now is when the fear arises, because I've

followed a big yes, and I've made a big decision on a no, and

now the fear arises, right? And the mind is like, Okay, what if

all these horrible things happen? What if? And your mind

is always going to find more. What ifs? What if this? What if

that? What if this? So that? So it's like, I have to sit with

her. I have to let her speak. I have to love her. I have to hold

space for her. That's a younger part of me, right? Your saboteur

is just protecting a little girl. So that little girl's

like, What do you mean? We're moving to Canada. This feels

terrifying. And the sovereign woman who is my heart is like,

this is an amazing experience that we're meant to walk

through. And guess what? We don't have to know why. And

that's what makes it so exciting. That's actually what

makes it so fulfilling and nourishing, is that I don't know

all the characters I'm going to meet along the way. I don't know

all the opportunities that are going to open up. I don't know

all the versions of myself I'm going to become. I'm already

becoming more expanded, just from going through the process

of moving through the fear and coming back to my heart center,

my truth and making the decisions that alone is so

transformative, but most people are so afraid of change that

they let the fear of opening the door stop them from even

experiencing what's on the other side, and yet, that's where you

get to grow into the next version of you. And you know, I

think of gosh, I think of someone who's like, held on to

their past self or past life, like, Oh, I wish I was more like

that again, or I wish I had that old relationship I used to have.

It's like, whole clinging to the past because it feels somehow

romantic or exciting to hold on to the idea that that could be

possible again. But I'm like think about all the people that

you love right now. Now, imagine for a moment all of the humans

and souls that you're going to meet along your future path of

following your heart, that you are going to deeply love that

you haven't even met, yet you don't even know they exist, and

you're going to be deeply in love with them, women, men,

kids, old, elderly, whatever. Anyone, aliens, spirits. There's

so much ahead of you, and that's that's actually what makes the

heart excited and joyful and happy like true joy comes from

the surprise of life. It comes from the unknown, right? It

doesn't come from the predetermined path that you've

controlled and contrived to have some sense of safety. It comes

from the unexpected, right? And yet, most so if you're really

attached to the script, probably you have some controller

archetype playing out in the saboteurs. And most controller

women are terrified of the unknown, so they do everything

in their power to make things planned, overly planned,

predictable, so they know that they're going to be safe and

everything's organized and everything's going to be good,

and. And it's like that is the very thing that is robbing you

from experiencing the magic, the peep, the unexpected people, the

unexpected experiences, the moments that light up your soul.

You're You're here to experience the aliveness inside of you, not

the zombie, right? The zombie or the the deadness inside of us

comes from being fixed in our identity and trying to stay the

same when we're always growing and evolving. So everything is

waiting for you. Trust in the beauty of your own heart. Trust

in the people, places and experiences that expand you. So

how do you know, right? I get this question a lot. How do you

know the difference between truth and fear? Truth, the

things that are Yes, you, I want you to start to pay attention to

it. The things that are yes, there's like a spark or an

expansion when you, let's say you're mute, you meet someone,

and they tell you about doing some Cuban, Latin dance, and

they're describing this dance community that they're a part of

in Cuba, and you feel this light in your heart and your body, and

you're like and you get lit up and turned on. There's just this

like excitement as you're hearing their story. That's your

heart, right? But what your mind will do is like, oh, it's not

safe to go there. Oh, you shouldn't go there. Oh, you

could never dance like that. Oh, that's so not you. Oh, no, you

have responsibilities. Oh, you could never do that. And so the

mind will come in and cap us every time we have an expansion.

And so the practice is to just notice it. Just notice the

fears. Notice the what ifs. Notice the stories of what you

can and can't do that. Your saboteur is trying to parent

you. She's trying to control your reality and come back into

your heart and like, okay, there's something here for me.

If I was lit really lit up by that, maybe I don't need to move

to Cuba tomorrow, but maybe there's a dance class I can

explore taking, right and and even when I feel uncomfortable,

can I welcome those feelings right? The more that you can

experience and be with whatever the experience is, the more the

those those uncomfortable feelings alchemize. Because if

you just welcome them and allow yourself to be new, now you're

going to meet new parts of yourself, and that's where your

aliveness lives. So the fantasy addict in your mind will tell

you it's over there and you got to be with that guy, or go over

there and, you know, blow up your life or do whatever. And

maybe your your life will change as a result of you changing. But

the best thing to do first is just to start to get to know the

magic of your soul. Start to get to know your your own inner

compass. What do you desire. What does light you up? What are

you curious? Curious about? Who are you jealous of? That's an

indicator Who are you jealous of, and what are they embodying

that you have shut down from. So you got to be willing to let go

of who you were in order to become who you're meant to be

and who you're meant to be is always changing. We become, and

we become, and we become, and we become, and if we hold on so

tight, and let me tell you, it does get easier. Like I think of

my seven year relationship that I was in actually had a Facebook

memory pop up today, and it was like my post of my breakup of my

seven year relationship that ended, I suppose, in 2021 I was

informed today by Facebook, and I was reading the post and just

thinking like, wow, I remember it took so long to let go of

that relationship. It took me like, I mean, it was covid, and

there are some things that slowed it down, but now it's so

much easier to let go of what isn't aligned, because I'm so

excited of what's coming, and I trust the unfolding, and I trust

like I can see how much I've grown since that relationship

ended. That relationship ended 2021 so four years ago, and I am

a totally different person than I was when I was living in

Vancouver and dating Jeff So and I've, I've experienced so much

of life. I've traveled around the world, I've lived in other

countries. I've, you know, learned little bits of new

languages. I've become so much more than I was, than I ever

thought I could be. So if you believe your mind, you're just

going to be living in the limitation of who you are, which

is not really who you are.

But when you follow your heart and you trust the path that is

not lit up, right, you just trust the path that you cannot

see. But you know, when you follow your heart, that's the co

creation with the universe. That's the co creation in the

dance with life. When you have the courage to follow that you

get to see over and over and over again, that your heart will

never lead you astray, and that that the Divine is always

supporting you. You have angels supporting you. You are not

alone. You are never alone. You. But if you think you're alone,

you're in your human self, you're in your small self, and

you're going to keep limiting yourself. And the way you

realize you're not alone is to start really listening to the

call of your heart, because then you get to see how divinely

supported you are. You will not see it if you're if you're

making choices from your mind, but when you start making

choices from the frequency of your heart, you will see how

magical life is, and then you'll believe everything I'm saying.

And then you'll realize, Oh, I'm not alone. I am so supported in

this life. I am so safe. So I actually there's another thing I

heard in this interview with with David Jay white, he said,

your mind stop putting your identity into in into your

thoughts. Okay, sorry, I can't read my writing. Stop putting

your identity into your thoughts. Your depth is in your

body. Use your mind to become a servant to your soul desires. So

the mind is always going to be there, but use the mind to

actually be your helper to make your soul desires happen, right?

Like your your mind is the one who's going to fill out the form

to sign up for the program, or who's going to book the flight

to go on that trip you've always wanted to go on your your mind

is going to be the one who's going to take action. But look

at her as your I, instead of servant, I'd say assistant. Your

mind can be your personal assistant, your your saboteur

mind, but not the CEO of your life, right? If these, if she's

the CEO of your life, she's visioning your life. She's

creating your life. You're creating from limitation. You're

creating from who you think you're supposed to be as a

woman, based on your culture, based on where you grew up,

based on who's around you, based on your conditioning, from

media, from movies, from what you what you grew up believing

is women are supposed to have and do and be right. You're not

actually operating from your heart and soul when it's coming

from the mind. Your soul desires are and your heart desires are

going to come to you in a moment of presence, and you're going to

have a feeling in your body that's going to make no sense.

So I, I can't remember how long ago I shared the story, but I

was invited to do a musical years ago, Jesus Christ

Superstar. My aunt and uncle have a theater company, and they

invited me, and they never invited me before, because they

knew I was traveling a lot for work, and I was really busy, and

I was out of the country a lot, and so they sent me this email,

and I was so excited, and my whole body lit up, and I had my

boyfriend at the time was there, and I said, Oh my gosh, I got

invited to be in Jesus Christ Superstar, and I'm so excited.

And I my whole being, like, lit up like a Christmas tree. And

then almost immediately after, I was like, Oh, I can't do it. Oh

my gosh, I can't do it. We've got an event in England. I'm so

busy. I have so many coaching calls. I'm so exhausted all the

time, like, there's no way I'm gonna have the energy for it.

And he was like, Oh, you're doing it. Like, what? That's a

yes. That reaction was a yes and I and it was such a beautiful

reframe, because I did say yes. I canceled the England event.

Someone else went in my behalf and but it was so cool, because

all my coaching calls, even though I was busier than ever, I

had rehearsals at night and coaching in the day for this

company I used to work for, and I had more energy than ever I

was like the whole three months of our of our rehearsals and the

week of our shows were some of the best experiences of my life.

I will never forget the feeling in my body of how I felt giving

myself the gift of having that experience that was the sole

desire. And you notice how my body lit up like a Christmas

tree, and then it almost immediately, my mind tried to

talk me out of it. That's always, always, always, what's

going to happen. So if you want to start listening to your heart

and your soul desires, you have to be willing to not believe

your thoughts around it, right? That's such a big part of the

practice. So write down all the fears, all the stories, all the

limitations, and then use use your your mind and your heroine

to challenge them all, because they're everything's figure out

able. That's a title of a book. Great title by Marie Forleo.

Everything is figure out able. And you're constantly being

invited by life to do things that do satiate your soul. But

most women say no to what lights them up and say yes to what's

for other people that's sucking the life out of them, and then

they have no replenishment. When I did that musical, even though

I was working, I had way more on my plate. I had so much more

energy because I was doing something that brought me alive,

right? Right? I had life force energy. And this, there is this

life force energy we all have access to that really is our

divinity. When we're plugged into ourselves, when we're

plugged into our soul and our hearts, we have infinite energy.

So even as a projector, I had infinite energy. So that's

something to know, right? If you're if you're a mom and

you're married. Gotta you got all these responsibilities, and

you're like, Well, I just don't have the time, or I just don't

have the energy for it. At the end of the day, go anyways. Do

the thing anyways, because that thing is going to feed every

facet of your life, and it's going to give you energy. It's

not going to take from your energy. It's going to give you

energy. Is the opposite of what your mind will tell you, right?

The things that take from your energy are the all the things

you're doing out of obligation, all the things that you're doing

for other people, but that that aren't for you, that aren't

lighting you up, all the things that you're saying yes to that

are actually a no. Those are the things that are sucking the life

out of you. The things that you do that satiate you, that light

you up, that ignite your heart are the things that actually

will give you life in every area of your life. So having a great

life on paper is someone else's idea of what life is supposed to

be. If your life is great but you don't feel connected to it,

or you don't feel lit up by it, it's not yours. I'm going to

read that quote again. Did you have it all if it wasn't all of

you? Did you actually have it all if it wasn't all of you?

Right? How many parts of yourself Did you cut off from,

or did you never explore because you chose this life that was

having it all? Quote, unquote, is it really at all? So start to

explore the things you are saying yes to and doing in your

life, and what part of you is choosing them, right? What part

of you is leading them? Okay, even parenting. Obviously,

you're still going to be a parent regardless of what

happens. But what part of you is parenting? I work with so many

women who have children, and it's such a beautiful gift to

see how their parenting style changes. When they become the

heroine within, when they fall in love with themselves, when

they learn how to heal and and rewire their relationship with

the Wounded Little girl inside, when their heroin and heart and

soul start to lead their lives, they become a way better parent,

right? Your saboteur will tell you, Oh no, I can't put myself

first because I gotta sacrifice myself for my kids. Then your

kids are getting a shell of you. Your kids are getting the

performance of you, or they're getting an empty, depleted you.

That's not what your children need you. They're learning so

much more from who you're being than from what you're saying. So

your energy actually matters the most for your kids, and being

connected to your heart, the more you get curious about your

own heart and soul, the more you'll be curious about yours.

And it's actually the most beautiful alchemizing experience

that you'll have with your kids is starting to live from that

inner compass within yourself.

Oh, my God, another beautiful Okay, you got to watch this

video. It's an interview that David J white cave quoted it. I

watched it. I took notes. I was so mesmerized by this interview

David J White did with Tim Ferriss, the guy who wrote The

Four Hour Workweek. One of the other things he said, he said,

you're looking at something. Oh, when, okay, when you're looking

at a river, how beautiful is it to wash, to watch a rushing

river? You're looking at something that has already

passed. So this is what we're constantly doing to ourselves,

the the version of ourselves that we used to be has gone, or

maybe it's ready to go, but we keep projecting it onto a

present moment. No, no, Kate, that's just who I am. I'm a

perfectionist. That's just who I am. I'm an extrovert, I'm an

introvert, I'm a I'm a divorced woman, I'm single, I'm this and

that. And we're projecting these stories and these narratives and

these past versions of ourselves onto the present moment, onto

the canvas in front of us, even though that version of you has

already passed. So why does it not feel good in your body?

Here's another reason for anxiety, because you're not

being who you really are. That's why we feel anxious and

depressed. We're not being who we really are. If you were who

you really are, you would just feel aligned. And what alignment

feels like is grounded. It's open, it's peaceful, it's

expansive, but it's very grounded. It's not like high and

low, it's expansive. You have moments of contraction, but it's

expanded. That's what it feels to be the version of you that

you are now. But maybe you're not being that version, and

maybe that's why you feel so much discord inside. Maybe that

like coming back to Elizabeth Gilbert, you know, she was

living this life, that what she was told was a great life. She

had a cool brownstone in New York and Brooklyn. She lived in

New York. She had amazing friends, she had amazing jobs,

she had her husband that loved her and was doting on her and

was just adoring of her. And she was inside of this life, just

like one dimensional, so disconnected from all of it, and

that's the call of the heart and soul, if. You are feeling this

right now. It's time to go on your alchemy journey. It's time

to set out on a journey of getting to know your own heart

and get getting to know every corner of your own love, getting

to bathe in the love that you give to so many people and that

you saved for a man, for one romantic relationship, that

you're just going to give all your love to, or you've given to

all to your children, or you've given all to your friends. What

if you were to start giving that to yourself? What if you were to

start building a the most loving, reverent relationship

with yourself, where every single day, you bathed in your

own love? What would that look like if you were dating

yourself, if you were romancing yourself, if you were swooning

over yourself, if you were taking risks for yourself, if

you were being courageous for yourself, what would that look

like? What would courage do? I have a tattoo. I have two

tattoos. No, I have three. Actually, let's tell you about

two of them, two on my arms. I'm getting one more on my arm. You

might have seen them if you've done a masterclass. I have a

little one on my wrist that says Ker and kur. Okay, I'm not I'm

gonna botch. I'm gonna try and do it with a French accent. But

my, one of the heroin sisters that I'm working with right now

is French, and she makes fun of my French accent. Cur, I'm not

very good. I'm good at a Greek accent, not a French one, but I

love, I've always loved the word cur. My favorite church, or

Cathedral in Paris is the Sacra, which is the church of the

Sacred Heart. It's so beautiful. And Ker means heart. And the

reason I got that tattooed, I remember vividly walking down

the street with my best friend child, and I was like, we should

get Kerr tattooed on her wrist. And she never did, but I did

when I was in Costa Rica for my 40th birthday, because she and I

also used to, always used to say, what does your cur say?

Follow your cur. Follow your cur. We've spent a lot of time

going to Paris together, but follow your cur. Follow your own

heart. And I love the word curve because it's also the root of,

well, it's not spelled the same, but it sounds like it's the root

of courage, right? Courage is, is the courage to follow your

heart. And it does take courage. It takes courage to follow our

hearts. But my loves. Your future self will thank you so

much. Your future self will thank you for letting go of all

of those old, outdated sweaters that don't fit you anymore,

letting go of that old car, letting go of that old baggage

that's no longer belongs to you, that old story of who you think

you are, that you think you're, you know, just destined to be

single forever, or you think you're only worthy if you have

love, or the beliefs that you think Your life is over because

you lost your partner, right? All the old stories of who

you've been, let them go, put them behind you so that you can

become the woman that you're here to be, because there's so

much available for you. There is so much here for you to

experience. Everything is waiting for you everything, and

I will tell you this, in every episode, it just gets better.

People are so afraid to let go of what was because they're

afraid they won't have better. And in my experience, it gets

better and then it gets better, and then it gets better, and

then it gets better, and you become more grounded and more

real and more honest and more satiated inside of your own

life. It just gets. Keeps getting better. Oh, now I'm

hearing a Tim McGraw song in my head. I want to spend the rest

of my life with you by my side. So maybe a practice. Here's a

tangible practice you can do every morning to bathe in the

frequency of your own heart and your own love, whatever your

favorite love songs are. Play those in the morning, in

meditation, close your eyes. Sit on a cushion so your hips are a

little bit elevated, so you can sit comfortably. Put your hands

on your heart. I usually put one hand on my heart, one hand on my

solar plexus or my tummy, and then just sing that song to

yourself. Sing it over and over and over again, to the little

girl inside of you, to yourself, to your heart, bathe in your own

love. We've been taught it's outside of ourselves, but it's

not. It's inside, right? So if you created a life that's that's

perfect on paper, but you're not feeling connected to any of it,

it's because you've been chasing external things, and you've

built a beautiful castle, but your castle is empty on the

inside, so you've got to start cultivating that relationship.

And obviously every episode of the new truth is about

cultivating that relationship. So time is now. I love you and I

believe in you, so your life gets to be magical. And the only

way it will be magical and feel magical to you is if you truly,

truly learn how to listen to your heart and how to

distinguish the Oh, I forgot to circle. I didn't finish that

sentence about the difference between fear and and truth. Your

truth in your heart is the first thing you feel when you when

you're when something is a yes, and it expands you and it

excites you. It's like the initial hit, the initial

feeling, and then your mind usually keeps. Takes in right

away to change your mind, versus your mind trying to convince you

something that you should do that's based in fear, that's

that's like the initial hit isn't in the body. It's just,

oh, you should do this. Oh, you should do more of that. It's the

it, there shoulds, there's have to, there's can and can't.

That's all the mind, right? But the the your compass is in your

body, she's there, and the more you slow down, the more you'll

hear her, but notice and maybe even make a list of all the

times and all the things that you've been curious about that

have actually sparked you. I spoke to someone yesterday who

said she's always had a desire to learn Italian and to live in

Italy one day, even just for a summer, and that's an example,

like something that sparks your heart, and that's something that

she could actually start learning Italian right away,

right she maybe she won't be moving to Italy tomorrow, but

she could start cultivating that right away. Maybe book an Airbnb

in Italy for next summer. So there's so many things that your

heart desires. But if you're so busy controlling your future and

planning out there and then being exhausted from all the

planning of your future self, you don't even know yet, you're

gonna miss the cues of your heart. So slow down. Sit with

yourself, bathe in your own love, reflect and let her speak

to you, and start to be courageous enough to follow.

Take big steps and little steps to follow those feelings so that

you can create a life that feels good from the inside out, which

will be the greatest gift to your kids, to your friends, to

your loved ones, to your lovers, to everyone in your life, and

you'll become magnetic too more so love you as always. Share

this episode with any woman you know who is feeling that Eat,

Pray, Love, moment and I'll see you next week.