[00:00:00] Hannah: Hi, and welcome to the Awfully Quiet Podcast. Today I am sitting down with the incredible Rebecca Van Dyke. Founder of Peer Suite, a private networking community for professional women in the uk. Becky curates in-person events and digital resources to help women build meaningful connections, expand their networks, and access the career support they actually need.

Now, if the word networking makes you cringe a little, I get it. Same, but this conversation completely reframed it for me. We talk about what networking really looks like, especially for introverts in corporate careers and why its benefits often show up way later. In unexpected opportunities, doors opening when you least expected, all from simply putting yourself in the right rooms.

Becky's career is proof of what happens when you stay open to new connections. She started in private banking and then build a community of over half a million women ran luxury group trips worldwide and then scaled an eight figure e-commerce company before launching peer suite. She has seen firsthand how relationships shape careers, and in this episode, she shares simple, low-key ways to start building yours if networking feels weird, intimidating, or just not your thing.

This one's for you, I promise. There are at least three moments in here that will make you rethink how you approach it.

Now, if you find this episode helpful, please send it to someone who feels equally awkward about networking because we're all figuring it out. And I know this is not often something you think about, but leaving a five star rating wherever you listen really helps more introverts find this space.

And lets me keep bringing on guests like Becky. And with that, thank you for tuning in today and let's get into it.

Becky, thank you so much for joining me today, and welcome to the Awfully Quiet podcast.

[00:02:06] Rebecca: Thank you so much for having me, Hannah. I'm really excited to dive in today.

[00:02:10] Hannah: I am really excited to meet you more. As I've just said, I saw you on Instagram. I, you know, your content really resonated with me. All that, you know, colorful travel and then networking and, you know, going beautiful places, and I wanted a piece of that. And, you know, bring, bring that to life to with my audience and as an introvert and somebody who is sometimes, you know, very much afraid of, of putting herself into situations like that.

I really wanted to touch with you and then, and, and get to know you a little bit better. And I'm sure you have, you know, so many things that we can take away and that my audience can benefit from. So thank you so much.

[00:02:50] Rebecca: absolutely. thank you. That's a, a nice compliment that, that that's what you took away from my Instagram and, and what I'm putting out there, so thank you.

[00:02:58] Hannah: There is so much more than that. So we wanna dive in. Where I wanna start is, what is a quiet strength that you have that has helped you in ways that people wouldn't expect?

[00:03:08] Rebecca: So I think one of the things that when you asked me this, ahead of this call that kind of jumped out to me was I tend to have a bit of perseverance and I don't need instant validation. So I think that applies in life, whether that's friendships or partnerships in work. starting a business, I think.

I'm somebody that I don't need to see instant results. and I can actually wait a while for that to happen and I still can keep moving forward without seeing those results. And I do know that a number of people will find that quite a hard thing to do. They like to see results, whether that's somebody who's maybe trying to build a social media following, whether it's someone starting a business and looking to generate revenue immediately.

That's something that I think is a strength that I have that as you said, is probably not often talked about. Or maybe people don't know that, apart from my husband who is the opposite and likes to see instant validation. so he's sort of like, one of the things for you that is a strength is that I will keep going.

And sometimes maybe, you know, that's not always the right thing to do if things aren't working, but if you're seeing some momentum, however small that is, and it's progressing you towards whatever goal that might be that you have, I do feel like that's something that if everybody can. Move a little bit away from that instant validation that society has gotten us into now as we want results in all aspects of our lives very quickly.

So being able to take a step back and sort of slow down, I think is beneficial for everybody.

[00:04:45] Hannah: Oh, I love that. And I have never heard that before. I think. and I'm certainly the opposite. Unfortunately, I do need to see. The results quite quickly. Otherwise, I'm, I'm starting to doubt myself, but, it's such a power, full strength, isn't it, especially this day and age where, unfor, you know, for, for a lot of us, we need to learn that over time because instant results are just not happening.

yeah, it's a beautiful

[00:05:10] Rebecca: Absolutely. Thank you.

[00:05:12] Hannah: And then Becky, where do you fall on the introvert extrovert spectrum? Are you, just because you're navigating towards the social scene and like, you know, networking is one of your topics, are you somebody you know, more extroverted or more introverted?

[00:05:27] Rebecca: I would say I am definitely an introvert. I think if somebody might see my online persona or the businesses I've created or see me in real life, they might say I'm, I'm not extroverted, but that I'm confident. but I think really that's, I'll push through into that confidence that I don't necessarily maybe always have.

So, when I started my travel business, I worked in banking and then I moved to start a travel business, and that was back in 2015. And one of the, the. Key reasons I started was, I wanted to create a space for women, a community. And I was seeing people on Instagram, they were sharing their travels, and I love to travel, but personally I didn't really wanna put myself out there.

so what I thought was, well, there's all these amazing women around the world traveling, sharing their stories, but there isn't really a platform for them to do that all in one place. So that's where I think that introverted side came, is that by featuring other women and presenting other women to the world and creating a platform that they could have either their writing, their images, their photography, and then eventually we did group trips and travel.

I was creating something for other people. I wasn't like the center of attention. So. That to me was that sort of, even from a community aspect, was the very foundation of that was me not wanting to put my face out there, and wanting to be behind the scenes. And then, you know, over time social media has evolved to the point where founders are the marketers and they are the, the lead in, in marketing their business.

So now more and more it is about your face. And I, I did re recognize that over time that, you know, you need some of that founder led marketing. You need to be the face of what you're creating. but definitely I would say I'm on that introverted side, but I can, if I need to be someone that can pull a conversation together, I can do that.

[00:07:20] Hannah: Yeah, I love that. and I think that is such a good, it's really sums up how a lot of introverts feel. It's not that you can't, you know, be extroverted. If you are an introvert. It is not that you can't socialize or, you know, organize things, facilitate, pull things together, strategize, build businesses.

It's just that where you get your energy from is, is probably more so time spent by yourself in quiet, like, yeah.

[00:07:48] Rebecca: I definitely need that. You know, I'm the type of person in the morning, it's, if someone starts talking to me immediately, I'm like, I'm not a, it's not that I'm not a morning person, it's just I value just some quiet, I don't need to get into, you know, big hyped up conversations first thing in the morning.

And I do value that, you know, alone time and just quiet time at home. So I'm out for my community and for my businesses. But as a person, I'm like, I love going out and see socializing and seeing friends, but I, you know, I have a social battery that's, you know, I can do one or two things a week, and then you are kind of, okay, I need to have some of that alone time, as you said.

[00:08:28] Hannah: Yeah. And it also makes it so genuine, right? It's like networking and socializing or, you know, putting your face out there or being the, the face of the organization. It's less so about wanting to be that from an equal perspective. And it's more so I'm doing it for this particular purpose of elevating others, of building this beautiful community.

So it's not so much for your own benefit, but it's more so you know, it, it gets that job done. And, you know, it has a, it has a purpose at the end of the day.

[00:08:59] Rebecca: Absolutely. Yes.

[00:09:01] Hannah: I do wanna talk a little bit about your career journey, because it's so fascinating to me, from finance to C-Suite and then starting your very own business.

And you are also saying that ly you are more introverted, but networking has also played quite a huge role in that. And whenever I'm looking at your Instagram profile, I'm just so inspired by the many travel pictures and by how lively it all is. So I really wanna understand how, you know, you've tackled your career, some of the decisions that you've made along the way, and how networking especially has played a part in that in terms of opening doors for you or in terms of bringing opportunities that were, you know, as you see a little bit more unconventional than what everyone else is doing.

[00:09:48] Rebecca: Absolutely. So, to give you a really quick summary of my career, so, I started my career in private banking and finance and I spent about 10 years advising, ultra high net worths on how to invest their money. so I was very corporate. I worked for UBS and Citigroup, doing that private banking role.

And then I pivoted to start my own business, which was a big jump because I was moving from banking, traditional corporate over into travel. and I launched the travel company that I previously mentioned. I ran that for several years and then. Pivoted again. So then I became, maybe I'm a professional career pivot now.

went, so I went into travel and then I sold that business and then I actually moved into a c-suite, COO operations position at a leading resort web brand that's in the United States. And, I left there at the end of 2023 because I wanted, you know, to start my own business again. I missed that entrepreneurial journey.

and this time what I'm doing is, creating something that's bringing together all of those. Parts of my career to build something for professional women in the UK and London and hopefully, you know, around the world in the future as well. so it's kind of bringing all those pieces together. So I've definitely pivoted and I think as you mentioned, your community and your network and networking is really valuable in that and helps you to make those jumps.

I would say, if I'm actually totally honest, I probably networked. Kind of wrong in the, in the past. And, maybe that's what makes it more interesting by creating a community, a professional networking community now with peer Suite, is that I learned where I went wrong and where I should have been networking or accepting opportunities where I maybe did turn them down.

So when it came to banking, I, the way I look at it now is I was networking for the company and not necessarily for myself. And I think a lot of people listening might be thinking, actually that's what I'm doing. I am out at these events and I am doing these things, but I'm doing it maybe with my company in mind, which you want to have because it might be that you're getting new clients or it's helping, you learn about a new tool or system that you could implement and do better in your role.

But I think we were forgetting that. Those, that those opportunities are also opportunities for us to just grow our personal network as well, that can help us in the future, in our career. so I think I missed out on that opportunity so much, but what I did do really well was I networked internally and built great relationships.

So when I did leave my position, I knew that if things didn't work out in 3, 6, 12 months, I could either go back to the bank or I would be able to get another banking position. And I had great relationships. And actually now 10 years on, those relationships are coming back in what I'm creating with peer suite.

and I'm having a lot of those contacts from my banking days sort of reach out and say, I see what you're doing. I'd love to talk to you about it and see if we can work, work on something together. And then other times I think I missed, you know, good networking opportunities was. Declining really nice press trips that I was invited on when I ran a travel company.

And and now I'm like, oh. Because I was thinking, well, it's more important for me to be creating something for our community, doing our, 'cause we were running our own group travel. That was so, so much more valuable to the business. But actually what would've been valuable to the business is also cultivating more of those longer term relationships with PR companies, tourism boards, and other people in the travel industry.

I sort of missed some of that by being very heads into the business and what was revenue focused versus non-revenue. And I think, I think with any opportunities you need to be looking at, not just is this. What's this gonna advance? Exactly. It's like, it might, you don't know until you are in that environment, you don't know.

It may not, it may just be a great experience. and that comes to networking in any way. It's like, it could be an event that you, you go to, it doesn't have to have a big outcome immediately. You just don't know how that's gonna play out in the future. So I really learned, looking back now, where I went, oh, I was making some mistakes.

it wasn't that I wasn't networking or building my connections at all, but I think I was building a lot for other people and not really so much. I was creating great spaces for other people to connect, which is what we're doing with Peer Suite now. But I perhaps wasn't doing it so much for myself. And I think that's something that now I really want to encourage women, to be thinking about, to be thinking about how they can cultivate relationships, how they can build their network for their career, for their personal lives, to just continue to grow and professionally and personally.

[00:14:39] Hannah: Mm. Yeah, I can really relate with that. I think we're often great at facilitating com connections and, you know, connecting people together and finding opportunities for others because then we're less in the spotlight and we're a lot more comfortable with that. But then doing it for ourselves, I'm the first person to admit that I'm struggling with that too, because I often don't see the benefit right away.

And it goes back to that instant gratification. If I were to go to an event like this, I would be like, right, who's going to be there? What do I want to speak with them about? What is it that I can potentially take away? And it's not often that tangible beforehand, and you kind of have to immerse yourself.

The experience and just like really be open for connections to happen, and then unexpected things end up happening, which is, which is often the thing that I'm just like, oh,

[00:15:33] Rebecca: Yeah,

[00:15:34] Hannah: it makes it hard for me. So I wanna really know, from you, like how did you approach events like this? How did you choose, you know, the right events to go to?

How did you, behave on these events? Did you kind of pull yourself together and you know, did you proactively approach people? How did you go about, doing that?

[00:15:51] Rebecca: yeah. So I would say, so I moved back to London from the United States last year in August, and that was my time to start researching and understanding what is the need for women, their careers here in London, what types of communities, what type of community do I want to create? And. Honestly, what I did was just be really open to anything.

I kind of looked for any opportunity to find an event or something that I could go along to, or meet with an individual and be really open, as you said to. There isn't a particular outcome I'm trying to get from this. I'm just going along to maybe I'll meet some new friends. Maybe it will be a business connection, maybe there'll be nothing, and I'll kind of go there and go, oh, you know, I traveled on the tube for 45 minutes and it wasn't, wasn't worth it.

But that's, that's fine because actually what I found is every single thing that I have done has had some sort of, I've gone away and gone, that was so worth it. It was really worth me being there. and that might be for me personally, because I learned something. Perhaps it's, I saw. a technique that was being used to help facilitate people, you know, talking in the room and I'm like, oh, that would be great to transfer.

Or, you know, on the downside sometimes you just see events being managed really poorly and you go, okay, these are the things that we don't want to fall, the traps we don't want to fall into. And then the other thing I think with any of this networking that you're doing is, it's not always just for you.

I've seen a lot for me has been then again, finding those connections where I might meet someone and I, I'm like, oh, I know somebody else you should meet. Let me put the two of you in touch. And that's what's really I'm seeing happening is not only are you getting the immediate recommendations, oh, you should speak to this person or this person, it's actually, oh, I actually have somebody else that, you know, these two people can connect.

And then I've had places where. I've gone to an event or gone to something and we've kind of put two people together that weren't even there. And that's the real, like magic of the networking and being really open and women supporting women, I think. And then to answer your question about sort of how do I approach it when I'm there?

I think honestly I have to kind of step out my comfort zone. I do sit there and go, do I wanna go? Do I wanna go? Is there a reason why I don't, shouldn't go? And, you know, and then I push myself to do it. I also actually push myself to go alone. I have some times invited a friend along, but I think that's just such a safety net that you are going to end up speaking with your friend more and you're not going to put yourself out there.

And whilst that can feel really daunting, to some people, especially if the people listening are more introverted, every time you go and just test that, you'll, you'll. Learning new ways to interact, to build your confidence, to go out on your own. And I think it's just makes you much more open to the conversations than if you go with a friends.

So I do try and just do things where I'm like, I'll just book it and go on my, go on my own. And then hopefully you sort of have to force your way into some conversations. And there's been times where I'm like, oh, it's a bit awkward, and you sort of have to go and stand at the edge of a circle and sort of push away in a little bit.

But, I think all of that builds confidence over time, so, people can feel more comfortable every time they go into a, an event or something like that.

[00:19:14] Hannah: Yeah, it is so true. It just reminded me of sometime I spent living abroad. I, lived in the US for a couple of months for an internship just after university and not knowing anyone, you're just kind of thrown into cold water and you either make some connections and make some friends and connect with people who are strangers.

Then, you know, you, you know, you can't really survive otherwise. So it, it is almost like that Cold War that helped me actually do this and push myself to do it. And obviously years later it ends up with, you know, beautiful relationships and experiences and I wouldn't miss that for the world. But in that moment particularly is kind of tough to do.

But then maybe it's just really about just kind of, you know, pushing ourselves every once in a while. And I do love this tip about going by yourself and going alone so that you're actually in the situation where you have to make some connections or start some conversations.

[00:20:13] Rebecca: Exactly. I think that's just really important. And I understand for some people it may be harder than others. my husband personally has a stutter. So for him having a speech impairment that does make going to events really tough because, you know, he doesn't know for, for a lot of people, they just feel uncomfortable.

for him it's, am I even gonna be able to say the thing that I want to say or I used to, he used to work at Deloitte and it's really hard for him to say, Deloitte says, like, what if someone asks me, you know, my career background. So I think there's always everyone's overcoming and I think that's another thing to think about is.

We are also worried about how we are feeling, but there's probably other people who feel the same in that room. and by you going and maybe being the person that goes and strikes up the conversation, you don't know if you've just helped somebody else that wasn't really sure how to get a conversation going.

And so I, I think there's a lot of, opportunity in it and thinking that, not that it's not, that everyone in that room is super confident and extroverted and, there's probably a lot of people who feel the same.

[00:21:17] Hannah: yeah. I think we tend to forget that as introverts we just kind of assume that everybody else is super, super comfortable and we obviously also overthink the way we're being perceived a lot. I think that's also a very introvert thing, whereas an extrovert will just be what you see is what you get.

An extrovert person just kind of feels right at home, and they can also be themselves more easily at events like this, I feel like introverts, it takes us a little bit more time to like truly be comfortable and be ourselves, and that is what makes it a little bit awkward at first. I often felt like pushing through that awkwardness and, you know, even if you know a sentence comes out the wrong way or you say things a little funny, and then obviously I also have, like, I'm not a, a native English speaker, so things are sometimes a little bit awkward at first, but then once you push through that, it makes the connection so much more valuable.

It makes you so much more of a, you know, tangible human being, which, you know, can open up to a lot more deeper conversations than just the usual chitchat, I feel like.

[00:22:22] Rebecca: Yes,

[00:22:22] Hannah: So weigh in.

[00:22:23] Rebecca: agree. I completely agree with that.

[00:22:26] Hannah: Now I do have a, a question that is more so a personal question because I'm, I'm, I'm really interested in, like, again, looking through your profile.

You've, you've obviously moved back to London, and London has so much to offer. I work with a lot of agencies. A lot of my colleagues are based in London, and I always feel like I. There's so much opportunity to meet interesting people. There are so many networking events, so many queued Instagramable places all over London that obviously lent themselves to like, you know, make you feel at home, make you feel like you, you know, you wanna be in that space of connecting and socializing.

do you feel like that is abs that has absolutely been beneficial to you to be in the cities and to be in the places where people were? Obviously the virtual world has, you know, is on the rise and there's a lot of things that happen virtually these days, but I feel like especially over those past couple of years, I kind of feel more pulled into face-to-face spaces again.

And I keep wondering, do I have to be in London more to make this happen? Or are there cities out there that, you would say are, you know, you're just gonna have to travel to in order to make that

[00:23:36] Rebecca: Yeah. I mean, yes, please travel to London and come to our events in the future. that would be wonderful. I think really it's how you approach it wherever you are. So as you said, I've lived in different places, so I left London, I moved to Indonesia, Bali, in 2016 and we lived there for about two, three years.

Three years. And then we moved to California. my husband's American and from la so we moved out to Newport Beach and then

[00:24:03] Hannah: Oh, you know what? I just need to, I just need to jump right in. The awkward me, I did my internship in Newport Beach. That's

[00:24:09] Rebecca: Oh, lovely. Oh, it's a beautiful place to be if you like the beach, if you like.

[00:24:14] Hannah: yeah. Yeah.

[00:24:15] Rebecca: absolutely. I grew up watching the OC so I was like, this is my dream to be living here, and it's wonderful.

[00:24:20] Hannah: it was the same. Oh, I love that. Sorry to.

[00:24:23] Rebecca: no, not at all. and then I might moved on. We moved to Nashville for a bit of time, in the US and then we moved back to London. So I've lived in lots of different places and I would say, there's opportunity everywhere in each of those. They might be slightly different. And as you said, there's a lot of opportunity now in the more online world to, make connections.

So I think I would say online memberships, online communities can be really active and can still provide you with, some really great relationships. I've seen that with other groups. I'm part of what we are creating with Peer Suite. you can still get a lot out of an online network if it's the right one for you.

But I do agree, I think coming back to London, I will say there is a lot more happening here. for me, I am British, so maybe it's a little easier for me in London than when I was in the United States. because I don't know, I mean, there's always gonna be some sort of cultural differences, humor, whatever.

but I think you can still find it. I would say Nashville's a good example of somewhere where there's, there's a lot happening, but it's very much a music scene, so that's totally away from. what I'm doing or was doing. But there's still opportunity. And honestly, if there isn't, that's kind of for some people maybe, starting something yourself.

It doesn't have to be a networking community, but could it be a book club or just something that's gonna get people to connect, in the city that you are in. So I think there is opportunity if there's not so much happening, it's like maybe I could make that happen in a way that feels like comfortable to me and the type of community that that person might be trying to cultivate.

I, I do agree. I think there is a lot happening in the big cities, but I, as you said, there is this pull now to in-person. It's sort of gone back full circle. when I started the travel business, that's what we were creating was my in-person events, experiences, luxury group travel. That was quite early on.

And then I think there's been so much online courses and online memberships and a lot of things that are online. And now I think people are circling back, especially with the proliferation of ai, which I think can be great. But maybe people are seeing, you know, is ev what's real, what's somebody's real thoughts?

And actually when you're in a real place together, that's where you're getting everybody's actual opinions, thoughts, and I think people are really moving back towards that. But I think you can find it in any city if you sort of look, and even if it's not, A huge gathering. It's even those one-to-one connections you can create.

people are very open. I have, I have people who message me on LinkedIn. Do you wanna meet for coffee? Yeah, sure, I will. Or do you wanna meet for a virtual coffee? I reach out to some people. I try and build co conversations as well. but I'm open if people reach out to me to have a chat. So I do think you can create those connections, wherever you are.

[00:27:19] Hannah: Hmm. I like that idea of, you know, if it's not around you, you can build it yourself. And quite frankly, some of those big, you know, events are also a little bit daunting for, you know, certainly me, some of my audience maybe. So, you know, creating that yourself, and I'm sure you've been to many events and created many events yourself.

So what would you say, what does it need or what does it take for a great event to happen if you, were to bring together a couple of people from the industry or a couple of people you think that, you know, have common ground in, in, in an area, and, you know, help create a meaningful connection, how would you go about that?

[00:28:00] Rebecca: I think there's a lot of ways, and this is something I'm really, really conscious of as we start creating our events, I am conscious of people coming that maybe don't feel comfortable immediately. so a lot of what I want to do is always have facilitators, so myself, some other people that can be your, let's make sure conversations are happening and help people welcome 'em when we, when they arrive, so that they feel.

I'm not walking into a room and having to find out where do I stand and how do I get myself into a conversation. So having people to welcome you and make a facilitated introduction. I think one of the really critical things in any sort of community, and particularly when I've built communities before I'm, I'm building again, is knowing who is in your audience and who's coming to your event so you can make people feel special and known and remembered.

I don't want people to come and think, you know, they shake my head, hi, Becky, and, you know, I signed up and I, and they're like, I am Catherine. And then I have a blank face. Like, that's not how I want to welcome people. I want them to feel special that if we've had a WhatsApp conversation or in something or they've signed up that I know, I know the people that have signed up.

And that's really important to me personally. I think that really helps create a good gathering is that you, you wanna take to take care of everybody there. And then I think it's just how do you facilitate conversation? How do you make sure people are able to move around the room? How do you help people get out of awkward conversations if they're in them?

And in England, you know, we're always saying, sorry, and we never want to be rude. So if you, you, you often could go to an event and end up talking to somebody, the same person all evening because you don't want to say, I'm sorry, do you mind if I just go and chat to some other people? So, what we'll be doing in our events is having different methods such as we'll match somebody, at the beginning of the event and we give them a card and say, oh, you know, I just mentioned.

This Catherine, whoever she is, Catherine, at our event, should meet Hannah at our event. And we kind of have a card and it's like, you are gonna be looking to meet Hannah. so when you're in a conversation, you could kind of say, oh, it's been lovely chatting to you. I've got to go and find my match.

So that helps you to move to the next group. and that helps you sort of get the most out of it. But if you're having a great time, you know, that's still, you don't have to leave conversations, but helping people to have those opportunities. And then the other thing that we really want to do is make networking events, not just boring networking, so not just a room full of people.

if you can facilitate what's. I mean, not a net, not a networking thing, just an activity based event. So it could be a wine tasting or perfume making or something that people can go to. That's an enjoyable activity they would've liked to do anyway. But now they're building connections without realizing they're building these connections.

And that's an easy way, they have something in common to talk about because you are talking about what you're doing at this event. and that helps to like ease into the conversation before you get straight into, hi, I'm so and so. This is what I do for work. What do you do for work? And it builds more these relationships first.

And I think doing that is important. So there's a lot, I think there's so much that goes into gatherings and events and anything where you're bringing people together, but I think it's really being intentional about the purpose of the gathering. What am why am I creating this? what do I hope that my guests will get out of it?

and how do I make sure that happens versus, okay, we're just gonna. Book, the corner of a pub in London doesn't really matter where it is. We'll just have an area. People will arrive and we'll just let them chat. Because whilst that can work, you know, you really have to think, where's the location? Is that going to work for people with work?

How are you, as you say, how does that make them feel when they're in that space? Is it, does it feel like they went to something special? Did they feel special at the event? Did they get the connections because you helped facilitate that. there's a, there's a whole lot that can go into it, but you really have to be thoughtful rather than just, let's just throw something together and see what happens.

[00:32:15] Hannah: Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. And I think at the end of the day, obviously you create something beautiful and you have people walk away who really enjoy themselves. What I wanna get to is the reason why that is so important. I think you talk about modern careers a lot and, and building careers slightly differently than we used to build them and looking for, for slightly different things.

And we're obviously going to, you know, change things up a little bit. And I've also heard you say that. You are looking to provide what you didn't have going into your career, and you also have this focus on like finance and women in finance. And so I wanna touch on why is it so important for us to go to these events and to connect with others?

How does it help us in our careers and, and build modern careers?

[00:33:03] Rebecca: Yeah, I mean, honestly, I think it just, it goes back to something that you mentioned right at the beginning. They just open doors that are unexpected, and open opportunities that are unexpected. And there may be something that can come out of going to an event that you just had no idea whether that's a career pivot for yourself or like completely out of your industry.

it could be meeting someone who's a career coach that can help you and guide you. it could be somebody who's. At a company that you are aspiring to work at, and maybe you are interviewing a company and you can ask someone about what's the culture like? There's, and being in these, like as a private membership, you have that access that maybe you just don't have necessarily on LinkedIn.

And I mentioned, oh, you can contact someone and ask them for a coffee. But a lot of people aren't as open to that. So having these networks where you feel like, oh, we're all part of this group, it creates a bit more of a feeling of a safety safe space where you can ask questions a bit more openly. you can ask for advice, you can ask people to meet for a coffee.

and at these events that just can be some opportunities that come out of them that you totally, totally weren't expecting. this week I went to, it's actually my first book club that I've ever joined. I've never been part of a book club and I, I joined a London based book club. From a girl who works at LinkedIn, it's called the Level Up Book Club.

And I was just like, this is an opportunity to, sort of talk. She, they pick sort of books on careers leveling up, becoming better per personally, professionally. I was like, that's great. I'd love to do that. And I was like, I've never been part of a book club. I don't really know, you know, what happens? Do we all chat about it?

I mean, I've read, I read a lot of books. but what actually ended up happening, we talk about the book, but you just meet all these great women who have. So much to say in their business personally, and anytime anyone spoke, somebody said, oh, I've got someone you can talk to about that, or I can help you here.

And afterwards, just the recommendations, oh, I told you I'd follow up on this. I told you I'd follow up on this. and just sharing these opportunities. So networking, like we said, doesn't always have to be actually at a networking event. It can be a run club, a book club, something that is an enjoyable pastime for you.

of course I would love people to be joining our membership, which is more careers focused and networking, but we will have fun events and things as well. But there's always these opportunities and you just simply don't know what's going to come out of them either today or down the line when you go, oh, now I'm, you know, a year later you might think I'm applying for a job at this company.

And I remember I met this person. Several months ago at this event, why didn't I just reach out to them and, you know, make a connection again? So I think just forming these real world relationships, and it also helps us step a little bit outside of the real versus fake online lives that we see. and helps us not think that that's how everyone's living, you know, these perfect Instagram lives.

actually talking to people in person, I think, and you know, where their struggles are, where they're succeeding, and just having that open place where you can comfortably chat with other, other women, that are just like you.

[00:36:17] Hannah: Yeah. Oh, this, I love this a lot. and, what, what I was also thinking as you were speaking is that I often felt there was a snowball effect from it. Like, for me, my networking is the podcast, right? This is how I naturally push myself to reach out to complete strangers on the internet and then have a beautiful conversation like this.

And it's always been so, so rewarding for me. It's initially, it, it takes a little bit of, you know, leaving the comfort zone to do it, but then had guests on and then they have had other, guests that they recommended to me, or people they introduced me to. And, there were a couple of multipliers even within that, that, you know, there were so many connections that came from that, or so many new people I met that I would've never been introduced to or that I would've never been able to reach out to.

[00:37:07] Rebecca: yeah.

[00:37:08] Hannah: that feels extremely powerful.

[00:37:10] Rebecca: yeah, I think that's a really good way of saying it's that multiplier, it compounds. in the networking I've done in London over the last sort of nine months now, I've done. I haven't done so much, but I've done a good amount. But now I'm starting to go to things and someone will say, oh, this person, I'm like, oh, I know them.

I just met them recently. Or we're talking about doing an event together. And then you start seeing a lot of same people are going to different things or are aware of similar events so that networking starts crossing over. You start seeing the same people more frequently. and that can feel good. And like you said, you, you just never know what's going to come outta something.

And we had on our retreats, some really, really great outcomes that a lot of our retreats were luxury group travel. They weren't career focused necessarily. but people afterwards, they form these great relationships and friendships. But then they're helping each other in their careers. And I was on a call with a lady Jess, who had come on a number of my retreats, several years ago.

And she's like, you just don't highlight all the really great things that came out of it. She said, oh, you do know that Shereen, this lady who had started a gifting company, I connected her with Amazon. 'cause she was working at Amazon at the time and she became the preferred gifting company for Amazon Corporate, which is like a huge client for her to win.

But they met through this group travel and had they not crossed paths, she's maybe not getting a big corporate client. Like, and that helps then snowball other corporate clients that she could get and those relationships. And Jess was saying, she's like, there's so many people that. She said, personally, I've helped with careers and things post that trip, and that was just a travel trip.

It wasn't a careers education kind of thing. So there's, there's these networking opportunities that we're having just every day in our lives. and so it doesn't always have to be that, you know, tight networking exact event, and there's always great opportunities.

[00:39:07] Hannah: yeah, yeah. But there is, you know, networking has so much going for it. I think some of it really is that stereotypical picture of, you know, you go to events, you leave your business cards with everyone, you talk to as many people as possible, and it's just this daunting visual of something that, you know, makes me really uncomfortable.

But at the same time, I'm a, I'm a really ambitious person and I know that a lot of my audience would describe themselves as ambitious and career driven. And it sometimes feels like, especially to me, is. There is only so much, you know, putting your head down and doing great work that, it only takes you so far and there is going to be that ceiling of where you and yourself, you know, by yourself in your comfort zone, in your own quiet, you know, room working, and doing great work.

But there is, there's going to be a ceiling. There's going to be a, where you can't grow beyond that. And I think this is where networking comes in and where some of these connections come in, right?

[00:40:08] Rebecca: I a hundred percent agree. I think, like I said at the very beginning, I think that was a mistake I made was like, I am a hard worker. I am someone who can sit at my desk and do 10, 12, 15 hour days and not come up for air, not get distracted. And, but that's not, that's not the best way to build a business, build a career, always.

And then oftentimes you are doing the great work, but you're not telling anybody about it. And, I've seen people fall into these traps and I've managed a lot of people. That don't necessarily communicate up in the way that they should and put their hand up and say, hi, I'm doing this work. And there's a book that I read that I would recommend, by Jill Witty Hicks.

And she says in that, why men Win at Work. And it's because they shout from the rooftops about, I did, oh, hi, I did this piece of work. You should all know about it. Whereas a lot of women will sit under what she calls the umbrella and they just don't pop out from under their umbrella. They're just sitting there doing the work and not necessarily saying, hi, I did this.

Here it is. And I think there's a lot I noticed with that in managing people is people don't tell you the work they're doing and. If you ask them or ask them to give you a wrap up at the end of the week or something, it's seen as micromanaging. And as a manager, I'm like, this isn't micromanaging you.

Telling me what you're doing helps me to understand everything you're doing and then advocate for you, advocate for your pay rises, for your promotions, helps me to give you better projects if I don't know what you are doing or your, I know your general work, but you are missing out on telling me a bunch of bits and pieces along the way that you did that are great, that we're not celebrating.

That's just so much missed opportunity. So I think people need to get out of, always heads down and it's, the networking is obviously important, but it's also that managing, you know, yourself in, in a company and telling people about what you're doing in, you know, it can be in a quiet way if that feels more comfortable.

but I think just hiding and not telling anyone and not coming out from the umbrella as. Jill described it as like a, a mistake, and like you said, you will hit that ceiling because people don't know to promote you or don't know your potential. and you can really miss out.

[00:42:26] Hannah: Yeah, it is so spot on. Absolutely. And I often feel like, what I'm perceiving in the workplace is that you'll see so many, you know, more extroverted people, you know, not only shout about their work, but shout about it over and over again. There will be projects that are so front and center for everyone because they, they're repeatedly on the agenda and they repeatedly come up, and it's not always with a different message.

It's often like that same message over and over again. Here's the project, here's a little update to that project that we've done this week. And I'm always like, you know what? We've heard it all. Like, I know all about this project, but this is exactly what it does. It's

[00:43:03] Rebecca: yeah.

[00:43:04] Hannah: Over communicating to an extent where at the end of the day, everybody knows about this.

Everybody knows what's going on, who has worked on it, the challenges, the struggles, and so this is how, yeah, you, things stay fresh in a world where, you know, there's so much going on in everybody's minds and I feel like we're often, not aware of how we need to, you know, drive me or lend messages over and over

[00:43:30] Rebecca: yeah. And when, and we're in a remote world as well, a lot of people might be working remotely. So again, you definitely don't understand that a project might have taken somebody a lot longer than you thought. And I had this when I was, the chief operating officer at the resort wear company, and we were opening our first retail store, and that was like an operational.

Huge lift. You know, we're opening retail, there's a lot of legals compliance. There's so much that went behind the scenes down to fire safety and all the things that, you know, I hadn't thought I would be doing hiring teams that just a lot of logistics. But the fun part is, you know, setting it up and making it beautiful and putting the stock in there.

And I did actually talk to the CEO at the end and I said, I met up with him and I was like, I just want you to be aware that this is the list of things I did for this. And obviously you saw it, but he was like, he hadn't really recognized how much there was. and he knew it had been a good job, but he, he didn't realize the amount of work.

And I think that's something that even if you're doing it at the end and you just like make people aware and make your, make your boss aware. and then he was like, I really appreciate you actually letting me know 'cause I hadn't like. Known that some of these things, he knew everything was going on behind the scenes to make sure that we could tick the boxes to open.

but maybe that level of detail, and I think for everybody, it's, it's not, it's not micromanage to tell, you know, people what you are doing. It actually really is always for yourself to advocate for the great work that you are doing.

[00:45:04] Hannah: Yeah, it's a little bit of a mindset shift as well, isn't it? Because I often, when I hear people at work just kind of moan or complain about the amount of work that they're doing, and they're being so vocal about everything that they've got on their plate, and I'm, I'm very different. I often just kind of put my head down and like, get, getting

[00:45:23] Rebecca: get on with

[00:45:23] Hannah: done and then get on with it.

But at the same time, those will often be the people who are going to be recognized for all the hard work that they've been doing and all the different things that they've been juggling. And, you know, the drama and the complaining, it sometimes feels to me like, it is, you know, sort of that complaint mode, but it could also be a sharing mode.

And if I find a different style to say the same thing, good. But it's just this sentiment of. You can talk about your struggles, your vulnerability, some of the things you're going through at work, and it can actually help you at the end of the day, be more visible. Obviously, not as a, as a complainer or as a person who always blocks things, but you know, if you, if you do it well, and if you find your,

[00:46:07] Rebecca: do it in the right way? Yeah. It, it's just about advocating. Like you say, it's, there is that line of, you don't wanna be the complainer and the moaner, but you do want to share what work you've done. And that also helps the business to understand if there are friction points. If someone is overworked, you don't want that to happen.

I wouldn't want to have employees that are getting to a point of burnout that they would resign. So you want to know, and that helps you with the hiring. It helps you planning. So I think it's always important to communicate. That's just in a general, you know, getting, being a good communicator in the workplace.

Very important. It's in.

[00:46:43] Hannah: percent. A hundred percent. Becky, when I wanna, Wrap up or where I wanna still go before we do wrap up is some of the career decisions that you've made. Because when I looked at it, I'm so inspired by an unconventional career, I gotta say, and yours is unconventional, isn't it?

You've done so many different things and I do strongly believe that this is where we end up in the future with like, you know, not this kind of, you know, 30, 40 years at the same company or organization, but just kind of moving along with the time and potentially even building jobs that weren't there before.

Or potentially doing fragments of different jobs and, you know, working for a company and then also building your own thing and, you know, having various different roles, which I'm extremely inspired by. So. Where I wanna go with this is what were some of the, where did you find the courage for some of those moves?

I would imagine that, you know, as somebody who has built a great reputation in finance, then going to travel, that must have been quite the step for you. But then also exiting that business that was successful for you and that you've obviously taken a lot away from. So it just kind of feels like you've made a range of bold moves and then moves across countries and continents, so,

[00:48:00] Rebecca: I definitely have. and I'd love to say, you know, that you look back and go, oh, they were all exactly the right decisions. And I have to be honest with you, and anyone who's listening to this is like, I definitely have struggled at times looking back and gone, oh, did I make the right decision there?

Should I have, you know, sold my business. and there's a lot, a lot of regret that you can have, that I've personally wrestled with more recently. And where you look back and you look at all those decisions, you're like, were they the right ones? And did I do the right things at the right times? So yes, there were some big, bold moves.

I wouldn't say, I think I went into each of them confidently, but actually looking back I'm like, wow, I was, you know, I was quite. I just really just made these big decisions and, you know, maybe didn't, you know, write down pros and cons of everything beforehand, but it, it's all worked out. So I think, I think looking back, I would say my first big, bold move was that move out of finance into, travel.

I was kind of, where I felt I was at in my career was I was quite, not to, you know, brag, but like, I dunno how you say it, but I was doing quite successfully in my career at that point in time and I had just been promoted to executive director, which there was, I was one of very few women, on our floor that was executive director.

I was the only person promoted to that that year in private banking. So that was, I was doing very well, I was being told, but as soon as I got that promotion, I. The head of a, head of private banking there in London at UBS sort of took me out for a coffee and said, Hey, why don't we talk about like your next steps to getting to md to managing director?

And I was like, great. Okay, well this is really cool. They want me, you know, that they want me to get there. But on the flip side, I'm like, I've just got this promotion. I'm already being like, what? How do the numbers that you're doing have to increase, even more from revenue, net new money? And I just could see, okay, I am just gonna go from, I've got to this point and I'm gonna have the same trajectory.

But always what happens with that, it's, you know, it's managing money, but you're always looking for new money from clients. You are always trying to grow. And I just thought this, I've learned as much as I can. I'm, I can do the job now. I, I'm sure I'll learn more, but it, it becomes a bit more second nature, you're obviously always learning 'cause of markets and its finance, and it changes.

But I wasn't like. Finding growth in that role. for me professionally, I wasn't, so I just felt whilst it was a bold move, I had a great passion for travel and I just kind of had to follow that path. And I talked about it, I'd probably say for a long time was I really liked to change career. I really like to get out of finance.

and I am creative. I'm a bit of a weird brain that I have quite a creative side, artistic side, but I also finance. And so I can, I love like graphic design, design, art, anything like that. But I also can be analytical financial operations. So that's, I think why my career probably is a bit strange is because I can do a bit of all of these things.

so that bold move was purely just seeing, I think that that coffee, I would always ref reference that as the point where I was like, okay, we. Where am I going? I'm gonna just be doing this for the next 10, 20 years, and am I ever gonna make this leap that I've sort of been thinking about and talking about?

So that just pushed me to resign and probably quite surprising to my team

[00:51:42] Hannah: Yeah, I'm sure.

[00:51:43] Rebecca: yeah, I was doing well, I'd been promoted and it was like I was about to go into my best time at the bank, and it at the same time felt like that's the worst time for me because I'm just gonna be doing the same thing for the next 10 years.

So I think it's knowing in yourself when is the right time to make a bold move, but also am I prepared for that? So whether that's financially or you have enough time on your resume, your CV to be able to go back to it, if you make a big jump that you still have that. That I could have gone back and I left on really good relationships, which comes back to relationships, connections, and your network is making sure that you have these really, really strong foundations before you make a bold move like that.

so yeah, I think for anybody thinking about it, I, I think you can look at someone from the outside and think you must have so much courage to do it. but sometimes you just have to get to your gut and go, this is the right thing and I'm gonna try it. But as long as I'm prepared and I've set myself up to be able to either go back to that or do something else, then it's okay to make this kind of shift and hopefully it works out for the best, which for my travel company it did, which was great.

and we were at the right time, 'cause we were pretty early when I started, so it was like 2015. So. Instagram and travel and all the kind of so much travel that's out there now. It wasn't as big then, so it was much easier for us to grow quite quickly and become a leading name in the women's travel industry.

[00:53:13] Hannah: yeah, yeah. I think when it comes to finding that clarity is not always so apparent to anyone from the outside, but you feel it's strongest. And I also feel like it's not really quitting something when you're done with the experience. Like you did that from a position of, you know, being successful and from a position of you've done everything, every, you've taken everything with you that you could possibly learn, and it was from a position of strength.

So, yeah, it, it, it does feel like, you know, very much aligned to me. And, I think this is also the thing with courage, isn't it? That. It always looks very bold from the outside, from the inside. It sometimes it is scary regardless, isn't it? And then it's just this kind of inner knowing of something needs to change.

I think this is it now. This feels like the right moment for me. And then you go for it.

[00:54:08] Rebecca: exactly. And I think, somebody I spoke to said, described it as having, and this was when I was going through the decision of whether I would sell my company, and she said to me, it's, everyone has seasons in their life and some things are here for a season and some things are here, you know, for much longer, but each season can be different length.

It's not, you know, exact. And I think that wrote that. Really resonated with me because I think that is relevant in work and in life. There might be friendships that are there for a season, they're there for a few years or a certain time, or when you are living in a certain country, and it's okay to let some, some of those things go.

and I think that happened for me with career. It's like I had different seasons, people would call it, you know, career pivoting or, but it is different seasons of my life that I've experienced different things, been able to use different skills, things that I'm interested in. As I said, I can be analytical, I can be operations if you want, you know, someone who's gonna be extremely diligent and, ordering OCD, then I'm great.

and then, but I can also be creative and artistic and do that side, but that these pivots, these, seasons have allowed me to tap into each of those kind of parts of my personality and my ways of working. So I think for everybody, if you have these passions. Or something that's burning desire in the back.

It's like, can I maybe try this for a, for a season and if it doesn't work out okay, and you know, I'll move into the next phase and the next season.

[00:55:39] Hannah: Yeah. I love this visual of seasons because, you know, nothing is forever or has to be forever. We can try things out, see if it fits, and we can always go back. Most of the time we can always go

[00:55:50] Rebecca: Yeah. Hopefully. Yeah, I think so. And it's, it's knowing, you know, am I doing this in a smart way? And maybe you don't go back, but maybe that evolves into something else new and opens up something you weren't even thinking about. And I'm kind of seeing that with the business I'm creating now.

it's scary. The second time running a business, I. I would've thought building a business once and selling it, that you would be like, okay, well this will be easy the second time round, but actually there's a little bit more confidence of, well, I know things that can go wrong, or I know things I didn't do quite as I should have, so I've gotta get everything really perfect, but I am looking at it now.

It's like, okay, well we open this up and if it doesn't work or it evolves into something different, that's okay. I don't need to have the exact roadmap today. so I think if someone's thinking of making a change in their life or career, you don't always have to know that that next step is the final one.

It could pivot into something else again and being open and okay with that. And so it doesn't mean you have to look for perfection, like you don't have, if you're making a career change, there might be like a little bridging time to get you to the thing that you really want to get to in the future.

[00:56:58] Hannah: Oh, that is a beautiful sentiment. I think my audience can really take away and cherish, like we don't need to have it all figured out or the whole roadmap ahead of us. It's about that next step, isn't it?

[00:57:08] Rebecca: yeah, yeah. Taking that next step.

[00:57:11] Hannah: Becky, where can everyone find you? Connect with you, meet you for coffee in London if they, if they wanted to, and then, learn more about peer suite

[00:57:19] Rebecca: Yeah. So feel free to reach out to me anyone if you ever want to. so in terms of connecting with me personally, my Instagram is my name. It's a little difficult. It's Becky Van Dyke, so B-E-C-K-Y, normal. And then Van Dyke is where it gets confusing for people. It's A-V-A-N-D-I-J-K, which if you ever ask anyone to write that down, they get a bit confused when they do the J and the K.

They think those two. so that's my Dutch, name. And then for peer suite, you can find us@peersuite.co.uk and I'm also on LinkedIn, so, under my name Rebecca Van Dyke. So anybody who wants to connect with me there, that's where I'm starting a little bit more to talk about, founder journey, career journey as well and getting a bit more open on some of those things.

So that's a great place to connect as well.

[00:58:06] Hannah: Wonderful. Well, thank you so much for joining me today, Becky. I've had a blast. I really wanna come to London now.

[00:58:12] Rebecca: Please do. Please do. We can, yeah, I would love for you to just let me know as soon as you are, you're planning a trip and we will host you.

[00:58:21] Hannah: Thank you.

[00:58:23] Rebecca: Thank you.