1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,364 Host: Jay Papasan is at Keller Inc, which is the publishing arm 2 00:00:06,476 --> 00:00:13,175 of Keller Williams Realty. And getting a chance to talk with 3 00:00:13,287 --> 00:00:19,986 Jay is excited because Jay is also Gary Keller's, co author. 4 00:00:20,098 --> 00:00:26,909 And they've written several best selling books, including The 5 00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:33,050 Millionaire Real Estate Investor, which was a New York 6 00:00:33,162 --> 00:00:40,085 Times bestseller. And then the one thing and the one thing was 7 00:00:40,196 --> 00:00:47,119 a number one, or is a number one Wall Street Journal, business 8 00:00:47,231 --> 00:00:53,819 best seller, Jay is the co author. He's here with us now he 9 00:00:53,930 --> 00:01:00,407 is one of the most powerful people in real estate and just 10 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:06,660 an awesome, awesome guy. So Jay, thanks for being here. 11 00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:07,500 Jay Papasan: Thanks for having me. 12 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:11,250 Host: So if people haven't heard of the one thing, can you like? 13 00:01:11,315 --> 00:01:15,390 What is the main premise kind of overall concept in a nutshell? 14 00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:18,361 Jay Papasan: We wanted to explore, you know how people get 15 00:01:18,427 --> 00:01:21,993 extraordinary results. Not average, but extraordinary. 16 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:26,022 What's an approach that we can take for that? And for us, it 17 00:01:26,088 --> 00:01:30,381 was about focus, but we tried to come at it from a new angle. How 18 00:01:30,447 --> 00:01:34,409 do you identify the one thing, right? What's the one thing I 19 00:01:34,475 --> 00:01:38,305 can do such that by doing it, everything else is easier or 20 00:01:38,371 --> 00:01:42,004 unnecessary? What's the one thing I can do such that by 21 00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:46,230 doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary? You're 22 00:01:46,296 --> 00:01:50,589 looking for the biggest lever in July, to achieve your goals. And 23 00:01:50,655 --> 00:01:54,419 we wanted to help people identify that and then implement 24 00:01:54,485 --> 00:01:55,080 that day. 25 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,623 Host: In the one thing, Jay, you know, kind of the opening part 26 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,980 of the book, you talk about the lies of productivity. 27 00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:04,564 Jay Papasan: Before we talk about what we want you to do, we 28 00:02:04,619 --> 00:02:08,029 often say what do we have to get out of your head. And in this 29 00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:11,329 book, we call do the lies. And the first lie, which we felt 30 00:02:11,384 --> 00:02:14,738 like was the number one was this idea that everything matters 31 00:02:14,793 --> 00:02:17,873 equally. And I actually don't think people argue that or 32 00:02:17,928 --> 00:02:21,283 express it, in fact that way, and it's because our to do list 33 00:02:21,338 --> 00:02:24,583 or to fool, our calendars are kind of overflowing. I've had 34 00:02:24,638 --> 00:02:28,102 moments in my life where I was literally mapping out my days in 35 00:02:28,157 --> 00:02:31,457 15 minute increments. And there are a lot of people who feel 36 00:02:31,512 --> 00:02:34,537 that way, we have a lot of opportunity to do stuff. And 37 00:02:34,592 --> 00:02:38,111 we've have a lot of obligation. And I kind of compare the way we 38 00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:41,301 operate. With so many things kind of stressing us out the 39 00:02:41,356 --> 00:02:44,436 need to do them all, to like being a character in the BR 40 00:02:44,491 --> 00:02:47,846 movie that runs up the stairs, instead of out the front door, 41 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:51,090 we make really bad decisions to spend our time. And so the 42 00:02:51,145 --> 00:02:54,555 antidote to that that first line was essentially, you know, we 43 00:02:54,610 --> 00:02:58,020 want you to launch your day by identifying the things that you 44 00:02:58,075 --> 00:03:01,484 could do, and then identify the handful that you really should 45 00:03:01,539 --> 00:03:05,114 do, and then prioritize them for one to whatever. And that's line 46 00:03:05,169 --> 00:03:08,084 number one, the second why people have a lot, they're 47 00:03:08,139 --> 00:03:11,329 looking at all the things they might have to do. The other 48 00:03:11,384 --> 00:03:14,683 thing, they're really tempted in this day and age to do with 49 00:03:14,738 --> 00:03:17,378 multitasking. And we make a strong argument that 50 00:03:17,433 --> 00:03:20,568 multitasking is a lie. And the big crux there is that, in 51 00:03:20,623 --> 00:03:23,867 reality, when we think we're multitasking, researchers call 52 00:03:23,922 --> 00:03:27,277 it switch tasking. If they call anything in their research or 53 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,742 multitasking, it's just in the headlines so they can get it in 54 00:03:30,797 --> 00:03:34,152 print. But they call it switch tasking, because what actually 55 00:03:34,207 --> 00:03:37,231 happens is, we're doing our work. And then we decide to 56 00:03:37,286 --> 00:03:39,651 switch. And that's instantaneous. It's like 57 00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:43,116 squirrel. Oh, we're off to the next thing. The thing that they 58 00:03:43,171 --> 00:03:46,526 realize challenged us is when you switch tasks your brain has 59 00:03:46,581 --> 00:03:50,045 to reorient to the new role for the game. And there's a lag. If 60 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:53,565 you've ever been like writing a really complex email, and maybe 61 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:56,755 your spouse walks in and starts talking to you, you know, 62 00:03:56,810 --> 00:04:00,219 they're talking to you. You can hear words in the air, but you 63 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:03,794 actually don't comprehend them. And you say, Oh, I'm sorry, what 64 00:04:03,849 --> 00:04:07,094 were you saying? You repeat that? That's that lag time. And 65 00:04:07,149 --> 00:04:10,448 every time we switch between screens, you know, stopping our 66 00:04:10,503 --> 00:04:13,858 emails to pick up a phone call, we experienced this lag time. 67 00:04:13,913 --> 00:04:17,323 And researchers believe about a quarter of our day 28% is lost 68 00:04:17,378 --> 00:04:20,953 to this and we're not even aware of it. It's a huge loss. I mean, 69 00:04:21,008 --> 00:04:24,472 as an employer, I look, wow, I have five employees when I might 70 00:04:24,527 --> 00:04:28,047 need four. If they were all just being efficient with your time. 71 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:31,292 There's just tons of research out there that the funny one 72 00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:34,591 that always kind of, you know, people say this is making me 73 00:04:34,646 --> 00:04:38,221 smarter or whatever, you know, I can do all these things. There's 74 00:04:38,276 --> 00:04:41,576 a guy in the College of New London, and he did research into 75 00:04:41,631 --> 00:04:44,656 IQ test. And he compared the results of people who were 76 00:04:44,711 --> 00:04:47,625 focusing even compared the results of people who were 77 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:51,145 having to multitask. They had to juggle emails and phone calls. 78 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,500 Well, they took an IQ test and very hilariously, He compared 79 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:57,964 them to people who were stoned. You know, nobody was surprised 80 00:04:58,019 --> 00:05:01,374 that on average, the people who were focused scored 11 points 81 00:05:01,429 --> 00:05:04,509 higher than the other two groups, they were shocked that 82 00:05:04,564 --> 00:05:07,809 the people who were stoned, on average scored six IQ points 83 00:05:07,864 --> 00:05:11,053 higher than the people who are multitasking. So I could go 84 00:05:11,108 --> 00:05:14,573 through six ways, we don't need to go there. It costs you time, 85 00:05:14,628 --> 00:05:17,708 it makes you dumb, and you're just less effective. So we 86 00:05:17,763 --> 00:05:21,062 really tried to get people, if not stop multitasking all the 87 00:05:21,117 --> 00:05:24,472 time. When you're doing your main thing, you're one thing, at 88 00:05:24,527 --> 00:05:27,937 least that multitasking, then, if I was actually more focused, 89 00:05:27,992 --> 00:05:31,237 when I was at work, that I have more time with my family, I 90 00:05:31,292 --> 00:05:34,811 think there's a real human cost that I think about, and it makes 91 00:05:34,866 --> 00:05:38,276 me a little bit sad, you know, the economic cost is one thing, 92 00:05:38,331 --> 00:05:41,796 but what's the cost to my family if I'm working late every day, 93 00:05:41,851 --> 00:05:45,205 just because I'm not being as effective as I could be. So the 94 00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:48,670 next few slides are just little after July. And then willpower 95 00:05:48,725 --> 00:05:52,025 is always on, we'll call the why. And what we tried to break 96 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,269 out two things, discipline, one of the meanings for it, is 97 00:05:55,324 --> 00:05:58,404 training yourself to do something until it's so that you 98 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:01,704 will, when I was giving my welding talk in Nashville, a guy 99 00:06:01,759 --> 00:06:05,279 showed up an hour and 15 minutes early, and I went up to him and 100 00:06:05,334 --> 00:06:08,633 I said, Oh, wow, you win the early bird award, you know, are 101 00:06:08,688 --> 00:06:11,768 you with the team? And he has no, but I'm just here. I'm 102 00:06:11,823 --> 00:06:15,068 always early, it's a habit. I knew that habit word. And I'm 103 00:06:15,123 --> 00:06:18,422 like, Dude, you know, tell me more. And it turns out that he 104 00:06:18,477 --> 00:06:21,667 had done a Greenbrae. He did, I was nervous for almost two 105 00:06:21,722 --> 00:06:25,077 decades. But he's been in it for 15 years. And he said, I was 106 00:06:25,132 --> 00:06:28,377 trying to show up early and observe. And I just can't shake 107 00:06:28,432 --> 00:06:31,511 the habit. Everywhere we go, we're early, we're early to 108 00:06:31,566 --> 00:06:34,976 dinner to the movies, it drives my wife crazy. And I love that 109 00:06:35,031 --> 00:06:38,001 because it's a perfect illustration that in our sense, 110 00:06:38,056 --> 00:06:41,355 and when we were building our construct, we really wanted to 111 00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:44,655 hit on this idea that being disciplined all the time, which 112 00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:48,065 we go into and willpower, there is some science about how you 113 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,640 there is an ebb and flow to your we often call this one that I'm 114 00:06:51,695 --> 00:06:55,049 going to call willpower. But this other definition is, if you 115 00:06:55,104 --> 00:06:58,569 know what your one thing is, the very next thing you would want 116 00:06:58,624 --> 00:07:01,869 to do is make a habit. Because if that became habitual, you 117 00:07:01,924 --> 00:07:05,113 work to build the habit, and then the habit would work for 118 00:07:05,168 --> 00:07:08,688 you. And kind of the big aha we had here was that when we looked 119 00:07:08,743 --> 00:07:12,153 at the research, like how long does it actually take to form a 120 00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:14,958 habit, most people conventionally believe it takes 121 00:07:15,013 --> 00:07:18,312 either 21 or 30 days. But the most recent research we found, 122 00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:21,832 they had asked, I think over 200 graduate students to take on a 123 00:07:21,887 --> 00:07:25,187 new health habit, anything from drinking a glass of water to 124 00:07:25,242 --> 00:07:28,541 quitting smoking, whatever they wanted. And for a year, they 125 00:07:28,596 --> 00:07:31,896 followed them around and said, Did you do it? Yes or no? And 126 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,306 how hard was it every single day. And what they discovered is 127 00:07:35,361 --> 00:07:38,881 that on average, around 66 days is when it got as easy as it was 128 00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:42,345 ever going to get. So it takes us about three times as long as 129 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,645 most people think to form a habit, even on average, we want 130 00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:49,000 to at least keep our foot on that pedal right for that long. 131 00:07:49,055 --> 00:07:51,090 And so that was the discipline thing. 132 00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:54,000 Host: So clarify the willpower part. So then what's what what's 133 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,890 the distinction? What would you call willpower? 134 00:07:55,890 --> 00:07:58,595 Jay Papasan: So we dove into the science of you know, how we say 135 00:07:58,648 --> 00:08:01,725 yes to what we need to do, and how we say no to everything 136 00:08:01,778 --> 00:08:05,014 else. But the researchers, the scientists, right, the guys in 137 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,410 the lab coats, we're calling it willpower. And they define that 138 00:08:08,463 --> 00:08:11,593 as the power to say yes to what you need to do, if I'm on a 139 00:08:11,646 --> 00:08:14,723 diet, I mean, you know, carrot sticks and hummus and no to 140 00:08:14,776 --> 00:08:17,959 everything else, so no nachos for me. And both of those they 141 00:08:18,012 --> 00:08:21,407 measure it literally take energy out of your system. And kind of 142 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:24,750 shockingly, your brain is 1/50 of your body mass, and it takes 143 00:08:24,803 --> 00:08:27,933 up 1/5 of all of the energy you consume. It's the hungriest 144 00:08:27,986 --> 00:08:31,169 organ in your body after the liver. And so literally, if you 145 00:08:31,222 --> 00:08:34,511 make a decision, you know, I am wearing black shoes today in a 146 00:08:34,564 --> 00:08:37,588 black tie that little tiny decision, they can measure the 147 00:08:37,641 --> 00:08:40,930 glucose in your bloodstream will drop. But there's things that 148 00:08:40,983 --> 00:08:44,326 require a lot more power, like I'm going to focus on this task, 149 00:08:44,379 --> 00:08:47,456 I'm not going to go play on Twitter, I'm going to focus on 150 00:08:47,509 --> 00:08:50,692 my work, I'm not going to go hang out by the coffee machine, 151 00:08:50,745 --> 00:08:53,928 saying no to those temptations or saying yes actually uses a 152 00:08:53,981 --> 00:08:57,111 lot of energy. And that was our big aha Is that what you're 153 00:08:57,164 --> 00:09:00,453 calling discipline in what we're calling willpower is actually 154 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:03,584 really fragile. It's a lot more like the battery on an old 155 00:09:03,637 --> 00:09:06,820 phone, it's always going to zero and it's plugged in all the 156 00:09:06,873 --> 00:09:10,162 time. So for us our big highs you tend to have the most in the 157 00:09:10,215 --> 00:09:13,557 morning. That's what it's always highest. And you can replenish 158 00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:16,846 it by eating properly. So we tell you give willpower the time 159 00:09:16,899 --> 00:09:20,083 of day and feed it. It's not that you're you know, willpower 160 00:09:20,136 --> 00:09:23,319 is hungry. I think about kids, right? You have a kid a young 161 00:09:23,372 --> 00:09:26,555 child, what is the mom do for a young child every day around 162 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,738 three o'clock. At snack that's like an essential thing that 163 00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:33,080 come up from school. The first thing they do when they outgrow 164 00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:36,316 the nap, they get both when they hit certain age, they get a 165 00:09:36,369 --> 00:09:39,340 snack. They've used up all of their discipline at school 166 00:09:39,393 --> 00:09:42,736 sitting in their chair straight walking in line waiting. And so 167 00:09:42,789 --> 00:09:45,972 we tell you make it a habit in the morning, right you're one 168 00:09:46,025 --> 00:09:49,367 thing do it in the morning and you naturally have the willpower 169 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:52,338 to say yes to it. And then throughout the day if you've 170 00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:55,627 looked in my office, I've got power bars, I've got nuts. I've 171 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,121 got foods that are high in protein and complex 172 00:09:58,174 --> 00:10:01,039 carbohydrates to get I want my brain out have all that 173 00:10:01,092 --> 00:10:04,381 discipline or willpower it needs throughout the day. And those 174 00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:07,670 tend to feed your bloodstream for long periods of time versus 175 00:10:07,723 --> 00:10:10,853 just slacking it sugar, that we wanted to talk about making 176 00:10:10,906 --> 00:10:14,036 things a habit and managing that discipline willpower thing 177 00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:17,219 throughout the day itself. I've kind of observed, like, you 178 00:10:17,272 --> 00:10:20,349 know, open floor plans have been kind of all the rage. And 179 00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:23,798 they've looked at some of these and I do foster more creativity, 180 00:10:23,851 --> 00:10:27,034 but they haven't necessarily fostered more productivity. And 181 00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:30,217 my theory, and it's not been mentioned yet is, if I'm in an 182 00:10:30,270 --> 00:10:32,710 open office, and I'm in an environment full of 183 00:10:32,763 --> 00:10:36,000 distractions, I'm using a lot of my willpower to focus on the 184 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:39,289 task at hand. And you know, we have noise cancelling headsets 185 00:10:39,342 --> 00:10:42,366 in our office, in the cubes, people literally put up like 186 00:10:42,419 --> 00:10:45,655 shower curtains and they do all kinds of things to try to get 187 00:10:45,708 --> 00:10:49,050 more focused so that they have to the distractions take less of 188 00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:52,446 a toll. But I do think that, you know, an environment is one of 189 00:10:52,499 --> 00:10:55,788 the things that I became aware of is your environment, support 190 00:10:55,841 --> 00:10:58,812 your work and your focus? Because that can say no to all 191 00:10:58,865 --> 00:11:00,510 that stuff can be really tough. 192 00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:03,756 Host: So how do I know what my one thing is? And I know that 193 00:11:03,816 --> 00:11:07,123 kind of comes back to the premise that we started with, 194 00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:10,610 but do you have any, like practical ideas for how to find 195 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:14,157 the thing that by doing it, everything else becomes easier 196 00:11:14,217 --> 00:11:15,420 or or not necessary? 197 00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:17,454 Jay Papasan: On the simplest level, we want people to put 198 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,228 down the book and ask that question, what's the one thing I 199 00:11:20,274 --> 00:11:23,094 can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier, 200 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,822 unnecessary. And for a fair number of people, they kind of 201 00:11:25,868 --> 00:11:28,642 know what it is, and they feel guilty for not doing it. They 202 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,555 just haven't been told that you know what, you're smart enough 203 00:11:31,601 --> 00:11:34,468 to know your own answers. For those that are still struggling. 204 00:11:34,514 --> 00:11:37,381 And I find especially a lot of younger people. Maybe people go 205 00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:40,201 through transition. It's the idea of thinking, what's my big 206 00:11:40,247 --> 00:11:43,114 reason for being here? And then you work backwards to and what 207 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,640 do I need to be doing right now? 208 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,494 Host: I love it. Well, Jay, thank you for making the time 209 00:11:47,550 --> 00:11:50,070 here. Thank you so much, Jay, for being here. 210 00:11:50,070 --> 00:12:09,420 Jay Papasan: Thanks.