Episode 45 - Finding your unique USP (and stop moaning)
Transcript
00:00:04 Alison
Welcome.
00:00:04 Alison
To mental wealth, the podcast to invest in your mind. Here I will help you make sense of your mind and behaviours, giving you the tools to have your best life. There is so much to share, so let's get into this episode and explore another great topic.
00:00:23 Alison
Welcome to episode 45. In this episode, we're actually going to talk about all of the themes that I cover in this in this podcast because I think it's sometimes really important for us to put that whole context into place, and I am delighted to say that I'm sharing this episode with a very special lady.
00:00:43 Alison
JoJo Smith, so welcome, JoJo. And please introduce yourself.
00:00:47 JoJo
Wow. My mom always taught me to say thank you for having me. She never went to anybody's house for tea, so be on the podcast, which is one of my favourite spaces. I'm gonna say thank you for having me. I really, really appreciate it and I'm very excited to be here.
00:01:01 Alison
Brilliant. Well, feel very, very welcome. So tell everyone a little bit about you first. So they know why you're sharing this space with me today.
00:01:08
00:01:09 JoJo
So I am JoJo Smith, the Brand and Vision strategist AKA the Belief brand and Business Development Fairy Godmother, which is a name that I have earned myself and have put out there. When you think of a fairy godmother, you think of somebody that nurtures potential and holds the hand.
00:01:29 JoJo
For everybody to transform into who they were always meant to be, with everything they already had, but couldn't quite see it for themselves.
00:01:38 JoJo
So when we talk about belief brand and business development, they are the pillars on which I believe you can create a life that serves you that cake and eat it lifestyle, because if you have the belief, you can have an awesome brand. If you have an awesome brand, you can have an awesome business. And if you have an awesome business, you can actually create a life.
00:01:57 JoJo
That serves you.
00:01:58 JoJo
But there's so many different elements within that and and today when you talk about encompassing all of the things that are important to your listen and that you talk about being confidence, purpose, modern day challenges and mental health.
00:02:15 JoJo
They're all encompassed in all of that, but my biggest belief is that my USP is me, and I believe that for everybody else as well. So I am excited about this conversation today.
00:02:25 Alison
Yeah, it's gonna be brilliant. It's gonna.
00:02:26 Alison
Be brilliant and I think.
00:02:27 Alison
This is it.
00:02:28 Alison
I I love your approach and obviously I've been following you for a little while, so I'm I'm always interested in just the joy that you bring to us all. But I think one of the reasons why talking about being me is for you to be you and me to be me and everyone else.
00:02:44 Alison
Listening to.
00:02:45 Alison
Yeah, that isn't necessarily easy to do, which sounds the craziest thing in the world, and that's why.
00:02:52 JoJo
It's the hardest thing in the.
00:02:53 Alison
World it really is. It really is. And there's so many things. I mean, I talk about this kind of thing on this podcast all the time I work with.
00:03:00 Alison
People.
00:03:01 Alison
I've written some books that help people be able to be that thing which is be themselves, but this podcast has got these themes, confidence, purpose, modern challenges and mental health.
00:03:12 Alison
And we.
00:03:12 Alison
Today, today, we're going to have a bit of fun playing around with where we can put little bits of attention in all of those areas that that help us be, that be me and and you know, like you say, your USP is is yours and very striking and everybody listening can be whatever it is that they want to be and find that.
00:03:34 Alison
That I think we just need to talk at first about why is it so hard.
00:03:39 Alison
Why is it so difficult?
00:03:42 JoJo
So I'll tell you what it is.
00:03:43 Alison
Go on.
00:03:43 JoJo
Because when people grow up, they do nothing but moan.
00:03:47 JoJo
Right. So as we grow up, ourselves included and those around us tend to get this mentality and this attitude that we need to moan and groan about things. And quite often the things that were moaning and groaning about are other people's opinions that have been.
00:04:08 JoJo
Either trailed left in front of us, you know, sprinkled around, and I think I do think it's partly as simple as that. However, that great big piece of pie called Overthinking grabs us round the neck.
00:04:28 JoJo
And it decides to suffocate us.
00:04:32 JoJo
And we get hooked in this in this loop. Now that can be anything that was said to us, maybe from a childhood or going through. I'm sure everybody's aware that these things can stay with us. Yeah. Or for me, it's all about self-awareness and a strategy around your self-awareness. Obviously I'm the founder of Creative sass, which is all about really putting the emphasis on being creative.
00:04:53 JoJo
In your self-awareness with a strategy.
00:04:56 JoJo
So I think the more we become self aware that actually that overthinking and those I call them flying flu-berries that we give too many of all of that if we just took a step back for a minute and realised that we we are doing that.
00:05:16 JoJo
And why we do that?
00:05:18 JoJo
Then that actually can give you those first steps of moving forward to not let those things happen to us. Does that make sense?
00:05:25 Alison
Yeah, I.
00:05:26 Alison
Love that and.
00:05:27 Alison
You know, you're right. We are either moaning or.
00:05:29 Alison
Moaning about ourselves.
00:05:31 Alison
But that's what I was going to say. The other bit that people are.
00:05:31 JoJo
Or others.
00:05:34 Alison
Moaning about is.
00:05:36 Alison
Is in a judgement way judging people looking at others and deciding that they're wrong and you're right and this gets us into such a.
00:05:37 JoJo
Yes.
00:05:45 Alison
A mess, doesn't it? Because you know, let's.
00:05:48 Alison
You know, I'm often reminding people.
00:05:49 Alison
Don't be interested in what everyone else is doing, you know, get in your own lane, stay there, and actually, you know, take take joy from the fact that somebody's different to you. If somebody wants to wear something or be a certain way, you know, for me, I'm almost. I think you'll be the same. JoJo, I'm. I'm almost more inspired.
00:06:10 Alison
By somebody who actually.
00:06:12 Alison
He is showing themselves to be different because I'm thinking go on, go for it, go for it. It's so exciting because.
00:06:19 Alison
You can see.
00:06:19 Alison
There.
00:06:20 Alison
Freedom. But we know that internally that might not be the case for them. It might be really hard and horrible, but they're still doing it anyway.
00:06:28 JoJo
I've done the post this morning. It's really uh, I say strange. It's not because the universe has a way of doing these things. I've done a post this morning which is which I actually said. It's not about being better. It's about being different. It's all about being you and the the the trap that we tend to fall into when you talk about.
00:06:50 JoJo
Judgement. This is this is a really good.
00:06:52 JoJo
Conversation piece because I believe in doing business and life, how we could not, how we.
00:06:57 JoJo
Should.
00:06:59 JoJo
And one of my biggest self-awareness strategies, it's a really small one and it's a tiny shift. But if if if you can bring this into your day-to-day life, it can make all the difference when it comes to judgement of yourself.
00:07:12 JoJo
And others. And rather than use the word should in your vocabulary. If you swap that out for the word could.
00:07:21 JoJo
Absolutely can change your mindset in an instant. When we say we should do that, or I should do this, or I should be looking that way, or I should be doing that, or I should have been there. What you're doing is you're being instantly really judgmental on yourself. Tell it, and the word should isn't a great.
00:07:37 JoJo
Word.
00:07:38 Alison
No, it's heavy. It's a heavy word, isn't it? They're heavy.
00:07:40 JoJo
Very heavy, but yet it's the smallest little shift that you can make. And if when you swap the ohh, I could do that or I could do this all of a sudden you alleviate pressure, you alleviate judgements.
00:07:53 JoJo
And you actually bring in a whole magical state of. I could do that.
00:07:59 JoJo
It's plus it's all about the possibilities now in the same way that if you say that all that person should do this, well, who are you to say that?
00:08:08 Alison
Exactly.
00:08:09 JoJo
This is like a self-awareness thing and it actually makes me smile. I mean, those closest to me now like I still slip up every now and again. I do still slip up.
00:08:18 JoJo
But I am really conscious in the thought of the word should and remove and those closest to me will go ohh. Sh-could and it's hard to come out and they they change it and it changes your mood. It changes everything. But being judgmental on yourself and others.
00:08:27 Alison
I love it.
00:08:38 JoJo
Will only cause you unhappiness.
00:08:41 Alison
Really will and it knocks your focus, it knocks. You know we talk about confidence, it's going to knock your own confidence because your brain of course, even if you're thinking about someone else.
00:08:52 Alison
It still thinks you're talking about yourself. The human brain still has that real complication. So if you're judging somebody else and making criticism, your brain actually thinks you're talking about yourself. So we never really feel good. You might.
00:09:05 Alison
Have a mini feeling.
00:09:06 Alison
Of ohh gratification for saying it, but actually ultimately it actually doesn't work so consequently.
00:09:13 Alison
Asking yourself these questions is really helpful and I I love that and I think the other thing that's fun about what you've.
00:09:19 Alison
Said is if you catch yourself out and it's a bit funny so.
00:09:23 Alison
You could should you're.
00:09:25 Alison
Breaking that pattern in your in the way that you think as well. So humour and a bit of fun being being kind to yourself and having a bit more fun with yourself again from a, you know, my my focus is always obviously how the brain will interpret these things.
00:09:39 Alison
It will be a bit more relaxed because you're laughing or you could ask yourself.
00:09:44 Alison
When you're doing your shots, who says?
00:09:48 JoJo
Who says? Who says.
00:09:48
00:09:50 JoJo
I love that.
00:09:51 JoJo
Who says? Who says you should. Who they who they.
00:09:54 Alison
Where are they? Where do they come from? And it could be, as you've said before, and I'm always talking about this, it could be a very old voice from the past. It could be a voice that you've created in your own mind, an idea that you've created in your own mind. So again, your attention is external.
00:10:11 Alison
Well, or deeply, as you say, internal with that moaning. So I love that. That's a good place to start.
00:10:17 JoJo
I say don't grow up. Glow up. Right let's you know there was something to be said for Peter Pan and Tinkerbelle and I mean I some people think sometimes like I don't think they see the serious side of me enough and this has been said to me in some aspects and there's been times when I've thought you know what.
00:10:39 JoJo
In a business, do I need to do this? Should or be doing the?
00:10:43 JoJo
Right. And then the could comes into mind and I'm like it was only at the moment that I stepped into my could rather than should and I became who I thought I could be rather than who I thought I should be in my brand, in my business and everything. And that was the time, when actually it really took off.
00:11:00 Alison
Yeah.
00:11:01 JoJo
And that's why I advocate for people to be wholeheartedly themselves, and, dare I say, stop being boring, right? Because when you're the same as everybody else.
00:11:14 JoJo
You're just being boring and I'm calling that out and I say it with love, because boring just means you're not. You're not embracing. So you know the best part of what could possibly be. It's the possibilities we're talking about. Again, I've gone off slightly, but it's it's just.
00:11:16 Alison
Right.
00:11:31 Alison
That's fine.
00:11:33 JoJo
Honestly, it's so important to me to, you know, when I said people might not take me seriously. Do you know what those people that won't take me seriously at that point won't be ready for me?
00:11:44 JoJo
Yeah. So, but the ones that are ready for me, they always come and go. JoJo, I don't know why I.
00:11:49 JoJo
Need you I.
00:11:49 JoJo
Just do right and that's kind of like a fairy godmother thing as well. You you wish for a fairy godmother, but you're not quite sure exactly what you want from them. And it normally is that nurture it is that guidance is that direction it is.
00:12:04 JoJo
That vision of what you can absolutely could be your biggest potential and somebody said to me the day I said.
00:12:14 JoJo
I was doing a new title for a new talk that I'm about to do and I get. Am I allowed to swear on this if I'm not because it right? So I get ****** *** with people not fulfilling their full potential right? Because I am like you have no idea what is waiting for you if you just embrace who you.
00:12:34 JoJo
Actually are rather than being like everybody else.
00:12:37 JoJo
And I was like, it's the power. It's the power of personality. It's the power of potential. And a lot all potentials, a bit fluffy. I was like, do you understand what potential means? It's it's those kind of it's those kind of shoots when people go ohh. You know that's a bit this but in stepping into.
00:12:57 JoJo
Who I actually am, and that means the fun side of me, the childlike elements of me. It's allowed me to not grown up. It's allowed me.
00:13:07 JoJo
To glow up.
00:13:09 Alison
Love that and I think as you as adults, you know you we are so hard on ourselves. So serious. You know we again in in a lot of my work you know often trying to sort of help someone just just just like shake just.
00:13:24 JoJo
Lighting and I'm gonna bring the light to them.
00:13:26 Alison
Just shake up and go and jump in that puddle, you know, go and literally do that thing because it is so freeing because in all of us in our coding, no matter what your childhood was like, we've still all got that desire to just be carefree at times and and or just to to take that pressure off and see.
00:13:45 Alison
You know, if you've made a mistake.
00:13:47 Alison
Rather than be super hard on yourself, it's not a mistake, is it? It's just a a learn point.
00:13:52 JoJo
A lesson or a blessing, lesson or a blessing, alright?
00:13:53 Alison
Yeah.
00:13:54 Alison
Exactly. I mean, I often talk about things being done for you, not to you.
00:13:59 Alison
You know, so again, why has that happened and how can you take something forward?
00:14:04 JoJo
I am. I've just recently taken on a new client. She's very big in the whole health space and we were I was doing a little bit of research on her before we actually met for our our day and we were working on her brand and her business and everything else and.
00:14:25 JoJo
She uh. In this podcast she had this line where I was like, Oh my goodness. I thought it was only me that thought that now this is quite heavy and some people may.
00:14:35 JoJo
Judge, but if you.
00:14:35 JoJo
Do take a step back and just think about.
00:14:38 JoJo
It before you.
00:14:39 JoJo
Do right and in this podcast she spoke about her yay moment. When she sees somebody in their darkest hour.
00:14:47 JoJo
And when they are in their darkest hour and going through their darkest time, her inner self kind of has this little celebratory kind of thing, even though they're in turmoil and they're in trauma and everything else. And I'd never heard anybody else say this because this was something that I definitely get when I see somebody in their darkest hour. And I'm.
00:15:07 JoJo
If I'm working with them, especially because I know I can help and I know I can guide.
00:15:11 JoJo
But when I see them, even if I'm not going to be working with them, I know if I see them so many months.
00:15:17 JoJo
Later, if they are on.
00:15:19 JoJo
A. A path, a certain path.
00:15:21 JoJo
That is going to be the making of them that is going to be the turning point of everything and I get a little bit excited and that sounds a bit sadist, but it's because I know what's on the other side. Yeah, and that sounds very big. It sounds very bolshy. But these big things come to teach us.
00:15:42 JoJo
These big things come to show us a different way now. The big thing here is.
00:15:47 JoJo
Is you have to choose to want that I have a a way that I deal with any kind of big, heavy trauma drama, whatever. Might go on in life and I call it the the, the, the feeling deal method. I absolutely have to feel it.
00:16:07 JoJo
Yeah, I absolutely have to feel it. I mean, this podcast will probably go out a bit later on, but we had a bereavement in the family last weekend, a very close bereavement.
00:16:16 JoJo
And I absolutely have to feel it. I'm not saying that I wash over these things. I'm not saying that I press them down. I'm saying it hurt, but in the process of it, I've learned how to deal with those emotions as you go. So you feel with it, but then you deal with it.
00:16:32 JoJo
And then you choose if you want to stay in a sad state, then choose to stay in that sad state until you choose. You don't want to, and when you are ready to move and you go, I don't want to.
00:16:43 JoJo
Feel like this anymore?
00:16:45 JoJo
That's that's when the light and went. Yeah, that's that's your my.
00:16:46 Alison
Of course, yeah.
00:16:47 Alison
Yeah, your motivation, isn't it your mojo to get out? Yeah, definitely. I mean, that's one of the things that I live by because it's my story and it's obviously something that I encourage people to do is to, to not be afraid of the emotions that are going to come. So whatever, I mean, bereavement.
00:17:06 Alison
You know, obviously sorry.
00:17:07 Alison
For for your family, it's a it's difficult, but it's it's something.
00:17:12 Alison
That we have.
00:17:12 Alison
To, as you say, feel it and then deal with it. Otherwise it stays. It gets locked in and that's what I see when it causes it. And you know, I I I suppose I'm in a bit of the same space and that I obviously get to work with people who've had things go on in their lives that are really difficult.
00:17:28 Alison
Less so these days because I don't do as much therapy. But you know, certainly that's my background.
00:17:33 Alison
And to know that somebody's ready to explore and to let go because of either, it's got so much that they can't deal with it anymore and they need to want to get away from it. But because for many years a lot of them have used different substances or they've created a life that sort of.
00:17:52 Alison
Dealt with it, but really, ultimately we haven't. They've missed it. Yeah. And I think for me, you know, being able to to, to work alongside somebody who is brave and courageous to say.
00:17:56
00:18:04 Alison
Ready to I don't know how to do this and I've lived with it for years and you know, and again, it doesn't even have to.
00:18:10 Alison
Be a deep trauma. It can just.
00:18:12 Alison
Be a behavioural thing.
00:18:14 Alison
From a family or a relationship?
00:18:16 Alison
That's still hanging around.
00:18:18 Alison
Just for me, I get excited when I know that somebody's ready to to just explore their life so that they don't have to have that thing that affects them and that affects their confidence. Yeah, it does. I feel I feel. And then that there's nothing greater than having somebody who.
00:18:28
00:18:35 Alison
Put something in place my client this morning worked with her a couple of weeks ago and she's put something in place and it's made a massive difference. And it was just how she was seeing things.
00:18:44 Alison
You know it's.
00:18:45 Alison
It is. It gives me a little.
00:18:47 JoJo
It's joyful, but we all need these people. I think we need these people in our life to show us that it can be done. Yeah. And, you know, we need people in our lives to encourage. Encourage is a huge word for me.
00:19:00
00:19:00 Alison
Yeah, definitely, definitely. And I think the other thing that springs to my mind when you.
00:19:04 Alison
Say that as.
00:19:05 Alison
Well, is when you are going to make a a change or tap into who you really are, we do need to be brave. We do need to know that it's not always going to be easy, but the other thing that is important is make sure your cheerleaders the encouragers.
00:19:21 Alison
Are the right people because us is absolutely critical, isn't it? If it's, if you're thinking of a jigsaw here, for me, that's a massive part of the jigsaw. Get your cheerleaders.
00:19:23 JoJo
Absolutely.
00:19:31 JoJo
If they're not encouraging you, they're not the right people.
00:19:34 Alison
Because some people can't, can they? They don't know how to because they feel jealous or they they can't see themselves doing what it is that you're about to do. So they'll make a.
00:19:37 JoJo
I think.
00:19:44 JoJo
Judgement. I think it also as well I have this analogy. Excuse me. I have this analogy that.
00:19:52 JoJo
There's lots of people go well. My family just don't get it or, you know my partner or whatever. And I'm like, you need to. This is where self-awareness comes into it, because this analogy for me is of a tight rope.
00:20:05 JoJo
But I always say so. When your family and your friends and your loved ones, those that love you the most, they are watching you walk up this tightrope ladder to get to the top and they're encouraging you. They're going. Yeah. Yeah, that's brilliant. Go on. You're so brave. And if they actually get to the top and they're like, yeah, you go to put your foot out on that tightrope and all of a sudden they all go.
00:20:25 JoJo
Well, that's enough now. Come down. That's enough now. Come down. Be safe because they want to keep you safe, right? So they will encourage you so far. But it I always say, prepare yourself for that encouragement to.
00:20:40 JoJo
Halt and to cease because they are fearful for you. Yeah. They just want to protect you. So I always say you need those those people in your corner that are on the opposite end of the toy rope that have been there, done it. Seen it in order to go to you. Come on mate. Come across. You can do this.
00:21:00 JoJo
A little bit left, a little bit, right. This is what's gonna happen. You might fall. But you know what? You can steady yourself because that's what I did. Yeah, and that's how I feel. It works. And too often.
00:21:11 JoJo
And sometimes it does need to be somebody that's a it's a little bit less connected.
00:21:16 JoJo
And that that can help, but some. So sometimes you have to go outside of that immediate circle to find those people, you know, community for me has been absolutely huge.
00:21:22 Alison
Yeah.
00:21:28 Alison
Yeah, definitely. I think so. I think it's just finding your community that are going to like you say without judgement, just be there to cheerlead or encourage you and and and just be there to catch those doubtful thoughts and those bits that are gonna get in the way because they're gonna come, they will come.
00:21:46 JoJo
I always felt like we you speak about purpose and that purpose is one of your big things and you know purpose when it comes to your business and your brand and everything else, it's huge for me and as in it's it's when I say it's huge. For me it's huge for me what I do. But it's huge for the people that I encourage within their businesses because from 20 years in business development.
00:22:07 JoJo
What I learned was, and especially coming into my own space and doing what I did, if you haven't got purpose behind you, I genuinely feel it's gonna be 10 times harder and it's hard already. It's already hard path, but it's gonna be 10 times harder, and it's going to be less sustainable.
00:22:24 JoJo
And scalable because of how hard it will actually be. So when it comes to purpose, when we talk about encouragement, I was brought up in the foster care system from the age of 18 months right through to the age of 18 and the word foster actually means to encourage and once I.
00:22:44 JoJo
Stepped in and honed in and owned my purpose, which wholeheartedly throughout my life has been about encouragement for others, because there's been times in my life where I didn't have it and I really, really needed it. And so I valued it. And when I bring that full circle to the word fostering meaning encouragement.
00:23:04 JoJo
Purpose has such a strong value in where you go, so encouragement seats like we could talk about encouragement all day long because if you don't have that encouragement, if you don't have those cheerleaders, if you don't have that person that is believing in you wholeheartedly. Because I have to borrow belief at the beginning of my journey.
00:23:26 JoJo
You know belief and it's the one thing that when I work with people, they'll go. You just believed in me.
00:23:31 JoJo
And I believe anybody can do anything. And I mean anything.
00:23:36 JoJo
There's a form or way where there's a wish. There's a way, but it takes huge massive encouragement, so it's it's I wanted to kind of hone in and that's about why it's so important to me.
00:23:48 Alison
No, I think it's a good one.
00:23:51 Alison
I think it really is, but I think with that what it brings to my mind is.
00:23:55 Alison
The.
00:23:56 Alison
The purpose bit is the is the getting clear on what it actually is, because I think even if it's a small thing, you know we're not, we're not necessarily talking about making huge changes in somebody's complete life or anything like that.
00:24:09 Alison
If you are clear on.
00:24:10 Alison
Why you are doing something? So it might be that you needed to go and have a difficult conversation with a family member or there's something that's not quite right in your world.
00:24:20 Alison
And you've gotta get clear on the why you're doing it, because that I think comes full circle to what you've started this at podcast talking about with where people are just moaning.
00:24:28 Alison
They're just moaning. They're not.
00:24:30 Alison
Really thinking about why am I moaning? What is it that I'm? Why am I? What is it at the bottom of this thing that's bothering me? Is it me internally or is it something to do with my past? Or is it?
00:24:42 Alison
Like just a nothing, a complete nothing.
00:24:45 JoJo
People don't go deep when they think like that. They're also a lot of people sit.
00:24:50 JoJo
Surface level and I always suggest that when you are thinking like when you say that, think about why all that is is just taking one extra minute to think a little bit deeper and it's actually it's actually saying.
00:25:05 JoJo
Why?
00:25:06 JoJo
Why? Yeah, why? And when you've asked yourself why? And you've come up with an answer, ask yourself why another three or four times, because every single time you'll go deeper in your answer. Yeah, because you know, it's like when people say I want this business, cause I wanna do this. I go. Why?
00:25:23 JoJo
And they'll say something I will say to people what your 3 wishes and more often than not, we get the I want the lottery win.
00:25:32 JoJo
Why? And if you ask why about 25 times? It normally takes about 25 times to get there. It always comes back to security and safety and freedom. But to begin with, it starts with, well, I want to.
00:25:44 JoJo
Buy.
00:25:44 JoJo
The big house? Yeah. Why?
00:25:48 JoJo
Why?
00:25:49 JoJo
That's that why several times? And if you ask yourself that within life and you start to get into a habit of asking yourself that.
00:25:57 JoJo
You will be on a much more joyful, fulfilled, I call it indulgent, fulfilment, indulgence, infulgents. Sorry is what I call it. And that's indulgent fulfilment and everybody wants to feel fulfilled. Everyone wants to be happy. Ultimately. Yeah. You're only going to do that if you ask yourself why.
00:26:17 JoJo
More than once.
00:26:18 Alison
Exactly. So you've got to open up that sort of your your response on us, isn't it to what is going?
00:26:25 Alison
On around you.
00:26:25 Alison
Or another question, I often ask people to ask.
00:26:28 Alison
Is that's the real problem here, because we've got the surface problem. But what's the real problem? What? What actually has happened? Because usually it's nothing to do with the thing that's just happened. It's something else people feel in their mind or they feel like somebody's overruled them, or they feel like something's unfair. There's something that's deeper than this.
00:26:48 Alison
Thing that's just happened and that gets such in.
00:26:51 Alison
Our way of.
00:26:51 Alison
Of our purpose and being ourselves, doesn't it?
00:26:54 JoJo
And do you find that that's always comes back to them? Yeah. Always. Yeah. It's never. It's never. And that's what self-awareness is. And I don't think enough people.
00:27:04 JoJo
Or understand the power of self-awareness and this is where creative SAS was born. Creative. There's two kinds of SAS in my world, sass as in lively, bold, full of spirit, and a little bit cheeky. That's my sassy no, sorry. Kind of attitude, but sass in my world stands for self-awareness strategy because.
00:27:25 JoJo
And I never thought I could own a business. I thought I was too fat. I thought my brummy accent would get in the way. I thought I was too thick because I hadn't done very well at school.
00:27:35 JoJo
What I wasn't listening to is that I'd had over 20 years of experience in the business development world working with huge global brands. I wasn't hearing that. I was hearing the other stuff. I was hearing that my accent wouldn't take me. I was hearing that I wasn't professional enough because I like to do things a certain way. And yet.
00:27:55 JoJo
Once I actually took a step back from that and I started to focus on my strengths.
00:28:01 JoJo
Rather than what I've been hearing for so, so long, I needed, but I needed to find that strategy and that that strategy only came from me becoming really self aware and really taking the time. But in order to do that because of my neuro sassiness as I call it, cause of my nearness sassiness, I had to find a creative way of doing that because.
00:28:21 JoJo
Some like for me, some of the things were too generic I.
00:28:24 JoJo
Just couldn't connect.
00:28:25 JoJo
Yeah, to them because they were the same everywhere that you went. So Creative, Sass, creative self-awareness strategy within your business and.
00:28:32 JoJo
Life that that became like a non-negotiable for me because I had to find creative ways to become self aware. Yeah, and they became fun because that way then I became connected to them rather than feeling like they're a diet or a chore and getting.
00:28:47 JoJo
Fed up of.
00:28:47 JoJo
Them if that makes sense, and they often change because as I evolve.
00:28:49 Alison
Yeah, I love that.
00:28:52 JoJo
We need more creative strategies.
00:28:54 JoJo
In order to keep those things going. So it's about really becoming self aware, but become creative and connected in your self-awareness because what works for one will not work for you necessarily. You have to find something that you connect to, you have to find something that is you because at the end of the day this is where we started.
00:28:57 Alison
Sure.
00:29:15 JoJo
My USP is me. Yours is you. It's all about you.
00:29:21 Alison
Exactly. And I think you know, I I often talk about it and this.
00:29:24 Alison
Isn't a scientific.
00:29:25 Alison
Figure. But I often say that 80% of changing anything is being aware of what you're doing at the moment.
00:29:33
Yeah.
00:29:33 Alison
And then the next time you do it, your awareness just might have tweaked cause you just might catch yourself a little bit quicker, saying that negative thought about yourself or that internal moan or that judgement every time you move your awareness, you move that just that little bit all the time and then eventually.
00:29:52 Alison
It's changed because people often say to me, you know, can you change your thoughts? Can you change you?
00:29:57 JoJo
Absolutely.
00:29:57 Alison
Know.
00:29:58 Alison
100% you can, but you can't just flick a switch. It's not as easy as just going here. It is. I'll stop thinking like that. Now you know your brain is there to protect you. It's gonna give you all the experiences you've had in your mind.
00:30:10 Alison
My stories, a little bit similar. I, you know, I didn't believe in.
00:30:13 Alison
Myself.
00:30:15 Alison
I had very limiting thoughts about myself and my past, and here I am running a business myself. Got two published books and running a podcast. You know my former self would never have been having this conversation with you, that's for sure.
00:30:28 JoJo
It's it's huge, it's, you know, and it becomes that does become an inspiration for others. I when you say about moving forward, I absolutely agree because and this again comes full circle to all people do this man that might be a good title for this what people do his own but.
00:30:47 JoJo
What I what I say now is there's that challenge of I think anybody can come back to happy from anything. And I did have one one. And I'm sorry if this triggers anybody. There was always one thing that used to hold me back from saying you can come back to happy from anything and that was the loss.
00:31:07 JoJo
Of a child. I used to think that's the top Trump of trauma and sadness, and I always thought, well, I don't know if, like, I don't know if that's possible, to come back to happy from that. And I listened to my go that's podcast episode 101 with Steven Barta.
00:31:24 JoJo
It.
00:31:25 JoJo
And when I heard that I was already well on my way, 99.999%, you can come back to happen when I listen to that podcast. And I heard moment, his mission now and how he'd come back to happy. I was like, right, OK, I found that one. Nought .1111%. And I know it's possible and like most.
00:31:45 JoJo
Days I have actually become like an Olympic athlete. Now when it comes to switching my thoughts, my self-awareness dependent on and this is self-awareness in itself, if I'm tired.
00:31:57 JoJo
Or someone else. Then it's a bit slower. Yeah. Or if it's a completely new situation, it's a little bit slower, but it just takes me just a minute to catch myself. And self-awareness is about acknowledgement and acceptance and allowance of yourself. And I've definitely become like that now. So some people say to me.
00:32:19 JoJo
JoJo, how do you stay so positive? How do you stay so happy? And it's like this has been me in training. I may not be able to throw the javelin or run the 100 metres, but when it comes to my self-awareness and catching myself and coming back to happy, you bet yourself you are gonna have a race on your hands because.
00:32:36 JoJo
I have trained myself in order that I do not waste a minute of my life. I do not waste energy on things. Like I said, it does happen, but it's that catch of awareness in this moment of last weekend, we spent a whole weekend in a room with. I'm just gonna sit with my mother-in-law on her.
00:32:56 JoJo
End of life.
00:32:58 JoJo
Palliative care and to start sit in a room with someone slowly watching them drift, but some pain and stuff like that. Again, I'm sorry if this causes.
00:33:07 JoJo
Life. But in those moments I did put my oxygen mask on 1st. I came out, I went and took my shoes and socks off. I went and sat in the garden of the home and put my feet on the ground. But also I was grateful for the time to be there to say the goodbyes, to support my partner, to have the laughs and jokes.
00:33:28 JoJo
About how she was we celebrated her in that moment and actually take take the positives and the blessings.
00:33:38 JoJo
Out of that and you know, we're only a week in and we're we're still having moments. We're still having sadness, you know, and stuff like that, but it's about giving yourself that time and space and it's about catching yourself. It's about allowing it, accepting it and acknowledging it. Sorry I went off on a bit of a tangent there, but I just get so passionate about it. And if anybody hears that and it was what they needed to hear.
00:33:59 JoJo
That.
00:34:00 Alison
Or with someone who needs to hear whatever comes out in these podcasts. I absolutely believe that. And I think you know, for me, listening.
00:34:03 JoJo
Yes.
00:34:07 Alison
In.
00:34:08 Alison
You know, obviously grief has all sorts of parameters, and everybody grieves in a different way. And you know, I often hear people saying I should be over this by now. And absolutely there's another should. No one should be doing anything.
00:34:21 Alison
But I think to me one of the things I like to encourage people to do and and again, I think it's what.
00:34:25 Alison
You're saying JoJo?
00:34:27 Alison
Is.
00:34:28 Alison
The more you do this kind of work, your bounce back gets quicker and quicker and quicker and quicker. So I also just like you, I can have things that catch me out. I had something recently that, you know, made me have to pause and think about what was going on and some of my old stuff reappeared as it does.
00:34:48 Alison
But your ability to be able to catch it, be aware of it, sit with it, maybe challenge it, be kind to yourself, all of the above.
00:34:57 JoJo
Who?
00:34:58 JoJo
Whatever works for you.
00:34:59 Alison
Do whatever works for you. Some people need to go out running. Some people need to sit and meditate. Whatever it.
00:35:03 Alison
Is do that.
00:35:04 JoJo
I tell myself in a cold bath.
00:35:08 Alison
Well, I admire people who do that.
00:35:10 Alison
Not doing as much of that, but.
00:35:12 Alison
You know, being able to notice that you recover quicker, you bounce back, you bet yourself back on your track.
00:35:19 Alison
Then you're back on your purpose. You're back on your kind.
00:35:22 Alison
Of.
00:35:22 Alison
What it is that you're trying to achieve? I think what I noticed when people just get themselves they home in on the thing that's not gone well, the home on the feelings that are there, which we still need to honour, but then they get stuck.
00:35:35 JoJo
Yeah. Well, it's because they don't have a strategy and the strategy is this, just the plan. It's the way. But self-awareness and strategy, this is where I'm so passionate and this is where I'm like creative self-awareness strategy. Come on, get get this is a thing. This is where trademarks it because I was.
00:35:35 Alison
With that.
00:35:52 JoJo
Like this isn't I want people to understand the power of creative self-awareness and strategy together. And if you have a strategy, I say when you say something caught you out. Last week I always say bigger wishes. Being bigger, self doubt dishes. This is never going away. It's never going away. It's always going to try and catch me out. Those little mine.
00:36:13 JoJo
Chickens are always gonna come up on me, so I am. I am really like prepared for them, but I need to have that strategy in order to deal with them when they come knocking at my door. One, I need to know that it's.
00:36:26 JoJo
And two, I need to know how I tell them to off their pop.
00:36:30 JoJo
And if you have that kind of strategy and you can put that on a rinse and repeat cycle.
00:36:37 JoJo
That's it. Has to be bespoke to you.
00:36:39 Alison
Yes.
00:36:40 JoJo
Once you figure that out, the happier and sassier you will be because it's it's just understanding, like my strategy works for me and I teach that. And you know I have a course for that and everything. But how I teach it is OK, how is this gonna work for you, give you something. And sometimes it's as simple as an.
00:37:00 JoJo
Number being connected to a number. So for me my affirmations or sassy statements as I call them cause everybody can have affirmations, but the very generic, the very they'll think one person not necessarily you. So this statement has to be powerful to you.
00:37:15 Alison
Yeah.
00:37:16 JoJo
And I have 722, so I do seven statements cause sevens my number over 22 days now because 21 days to break a habit, 96 days for a lifestyle change.
00:37:29 JoJo
There's the scientific part of it that your brain can change its thoughts over 21 days, but 21 days to me didn't connect to me. But 22 days was life changing. But 22 is my birthday. Two another 2-2 people used to tell me I was too too much, too, too loud, too too. This and everything. So that #22 I'm connected to it straight away.
00:37:51 JoJo
Seven statements over 22 days say those statements, and I'm going way back now. This was just one of my strategies, but that's how I got creative with it. It was instead of me hearing I am not qualified. I know that I am an awesome creative. You give me an elastic band and a pen and a paper clip and I will make you something.
00:38:11 JoJo
Phenomenal out of it, right? This is. This is my, my, my truth. Something that I absolutely know.
00:38:19 JoJo
Saying that's myself for the 22 days of a morning.
00:38:22 JoJo
In.
00:38:23 JoJo
I don't hear that I am not qualified anymore. I've never heard that since. It's been transformational. And now whenever I don't hear now about me not being qualified, I hear I'm an awesome creative. But now if I hear ohh, I'm not a good enough speaker.
00:38:36 JoJo
For that big room.
00:38:38 JoJo
Then I would say something like JoJo. Your energy is contagious.
00:38:44 Alison
Because which it is, I know it is.
00:38:45 JoJo
I know it.
00:38:47 JoJo
And so and that's what I would hear. So these are the things that that's your self-awareness strategy. So what you know, I'm not saying that's gonna work for you.
00:38:56 JoJo
But there can be something out there that if you dig deep enough to know what is going to connect with me, what is my strategy going to be for my self-awareness? And is that that I say to my little girl, if mum is grumpy, say these 3 words?
00:39:10 JoJo
Because they might catch it rather than you.
00:39:12 JoJo
Do.
00:39:12 Alison
Ohh, definitely children are very good at. I hear lots of people saying things like ohh I've got pulled it pulled up by my 7 year old because she said Mummy. I thought we weren't saying those words anymore.
00:39:25 JoJo
Those you know, there's got to be something that connects to you. So this is what? That's how I work self-awareness strategy. But I would.
00:39:32 JoJo
Like encourage anybody that listens to this to go what self. When a strategy can I put into my day that actually you know will will see me either. So if everybody you know if somebody's not getting up and feeling happy from the get.
00:39:47 JoJo
Go.
00:39:47 JoJo
We know gratitude.
00:39:48 JoJo
Good.
00:39:50 JoJo
You know, it's a great starter to the day I call it morning glory rising with intention. There's a little bit of a play on words there, but that's like that. I'm like, OK, rather than it just being gratitude. This is gonna be my morning glory. It can be the sunset sun sunrise. Sorry. I get them mixed up all the time. It can be the sunrise.
00:40:10 JoJo
Is it can be just listening to the birds?
00:40:13 Alison
Simplest things sometimes, isn't it? It's the things in the moment I've I've created a lovely little journal which is full of prompts and it it lasts for three months and every day it's got little prompts and one of them is what's your intentions? One of them is what is your wins? One of them is what you're grateful for and just pausing in that moment, taking your attention.
00:40:32 Alison
Away from all of the things that maybe you've worried about, stressed about, feeling unsure about and home in on something the brain can attach itself to that then can.
00:40:42
00:40:43 JoJo
It's, you know, it's as simple as when you just said like, what are your wins? We do not tell ourselves enough and remind ourselves of the good stuff we do because people think it's egotistical. They think it's, you know, I can't be proud of myself. Absolutely. You can be proud of yourself. You need to be proud of yourself because otherwise you won't know what you're capable of. Yeah. So I think of.
00:41:03 JoJo
Like it as a.
00:41:04 JoJo
A scrapbook of success. So your success Scrapbook.
00:41:08 JoJo
And my highlights, all my Instagram, all my social media team, always telling me to clear out the highlights cause there's so.
00:41:15 JoJo
Many of them.
00:41:16 JoJo
But these are my my, my power behind my potential because I look like I did that, and I did that, and I did that. They all highlights. I can't let me do it. We did any of my highlights.
00:41:28 JoJo
Because I want to remember them and I want to know so, you know, have a little think about a successful scrapbook and all the things that you have done.
00:41:37 JoJo
Them.
00:41:38 JoJo
Go back and take a look at them and remind yourself how absolutely fantastic you are, because if you don't know your capability, you'll never strive for that bigger that bigger wish.
00:41:49 Alison
Exactly. I could talk to you all day. I'm.
00:41:51 Alison
Sure, everyone here is like.
00:41:53 Alison
Hopefully your energy is just coming down their ears and and or if they're watching it on YouTube, they can see us and see our kind of energy because, you know, it is infectious.
00:42:04 Alison
We have to be ourselves. So yeah, more energy isn't necessarily the right thing. You know, I think we need to be really careful about comparing ourselves to anyone else but ourselves. But I think just listening to you and just hopefully people can just take away that one little thing that they can start. I love that.
00:42:24 Alison
Health awareness strategy. I mean self-awareness is something that.
00:42:26 Alison
I talk about.
00:42:27 Alison
A lot and there are so many different ways that you can do do exactly that, aren't there.
00:42:32 JoJo
Well, when you reframe that SAS SAS as I call it, you know SAS, they're terminal. Their motto was those that Dare win. So I dare everybody to go and find a new self-awareness strategy that they can move forward with because I promise you you'll win. This is me with a chest infection kind of energy.
00:42:53 JoJo
So imagine what I'm like. I'm 4 lbs.
00:42:56 Alison
I've seen your full Pelton. Brilliant. Brilliant. Thank you so much for coming and sharing your thoughts and your energy and your passion. It it does just come oozing out of you.
00:43:09 JoJo
There's loads of other things coming using out of maybe tissues at the ready at the minute, Allison, upper body and just letting everybody know and thank you so much for having me here. I've had a great time. It's been a lovely time and you've you've raised my energy today.
00:43:26 Alison
Ah, brilliant.
00:43:27 JoJo
Because there's nothing I like to talk about more.
00:43:29 Alison
Brilliant. Well, hopefully we've raised some energy out.
00:43:32 Alison
Out there with our listeners as well.
00:43:34 Alison
So thank you so much.
00:43:36 JoJo
You're welcome.
00:43:40 Alison
Thank you for listening and sharing in this episode of Mental Wealth. Remember, you can subscribe wherever you get your podcast. My last question to you is, what is the one small thing that you can take action on from this episode?
00:43:56 Alison
Message me on.
00:43:58 Alison
Instagram or through our website with questions you'd like.
00:44:01 JoJo
Me to explore.
00:44:02 Alison
You'll find the links in the show notes. I'll be back with more tools and tips to make sense of your mind in the next episode. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Bye for now.