1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,084 Hello, everyone. 2 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:04,004 Before we jump into this episode, a short introduction. 3 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,882 So I'm interviewing Samantha again and she came from non 4 00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:12,012 Anabaptist background and for myself, I grew up in the Mennonite church, 5 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,515 so this is going to be a slightly different episode, 6 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:18,560 maybe a little more lighthearted about some of the cultural challenges 7 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:21,896 coming from the outside into the Anabaptist 8 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:25,567 world and things that, you know, maybe I would have grown up with that 9 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,986 you just don't think about because this is how I've always done it. 10 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:31,906 So yeah, slightly different episode, but I think it'll be very interesting 11 00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:35,618 and very valuable to try to identify what some of those, I don't know 12 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,830 if you want to call them blind spots, but those parts of our cultures that 13 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,916 sometimes we don't always see because it's what we're so used to. 14 00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:44,419 So a little bit of context before we jump in 15 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,629 and hopefully you'll enjoy this episode. 16 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:55,180 So. Samantha, welcome back to the Anabaptist Perspectives podcast. 17 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,182 Good to have you on again. 18 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,517 So this will be the third episode we've done with you. 19 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:02,020 And for those listening, if they haven't seen the others, 20 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,646 they should go check this out first, because 21 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:07,400 that might give a little bit of context for what we're doing here today. 22 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,861 But you and I were emailing before hand 23 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:12,781 and trying to figure out like, okay, how do we want to frame this episode? 24 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:16,117 And you came back with a really good 25 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:19,496 chunk in an email and actually just saved it and put it in my script 26 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:23,708 because it was just really good, and you were saying 27 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,794 some of the challenges, 28 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:29,464 or challenges or just interesting quirks that Mennonite culture has. 29 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:32,258 So I don't have a typical script like I normally do. 30 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:32,634 I think it’d 31 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,720 just be fun to jump into what some of those are and we’ll bounce off 32 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,139 of what you had sent in that email and and see where we end up. 33 00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:43,478 So as someone who came from not growing up in the Anabaptist world 34 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,397 or the Mennonite church or however you want to say it, 35 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,273 and seen some of these 36 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:50,401 things from the outside, be really interesting to hear what you have. 37 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:51,820 So what are some of the quirks you noticed? 38 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,947 And yeah, let's just jump in, see what we find. 39 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,657 Okay, well. 40 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:59,786 Disclaimer this isn't to make fun of people. 41 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:03,331 We're not laughing at people because there's things that 42 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,960 I've mentioned to people and they'll laugh with me like, I didn't know we did that. 43 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,671 Like we just We just do it. 44 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,965 So this isn't really even 45 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,175 talking about theological things. 46 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:19,013 It's just like, yeah, just cultural quirks or things that we do. 47 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:23,560 So just, yeah, things that as a seeker coming in, it's like oh, 48 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,062 I didn't know you guys did that. Like, that’s kinda weird. 49 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:29,065 That's a surprise! 50 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:32,402 So I guess I was going to open with something that I’ve actually seen 51 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:36,781 on Facebook from a lady, and she was a Anabaptist writer 52 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:40,869 and she was just kind of going on about Amish Novels. And she 53 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,704 was like, You know what? 54 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,707 And not all Mennonite girls can identify with this, but I can. 55 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,418 But for those of us who, like, do our hair up a certain way, 56 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,671 or if we have a lot of it, like your bun can get pretty big. 57 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,090 And so she was like, you know what? 58 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,843 I don't think these Amish novels are accurate at all. 59 00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,597 She's like, I have never read one where the Amish girl, or 60 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,725 the mennonite girl, whatever, smashes her bun against the wall to make it flatter. 61 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,852 She's like, It's just not accurate. 62 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,646 It's like, yes. 63 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,147 That made me laugh so much. 64 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,900 Because it’s like 65 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:15,695 there’s a lot of us that do that. 66 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,322 Just random stuff like that. 67 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,366 It's like, you start going to Bible school or things. 68 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:24,954 And You get out and you just, like, start seeing things and it's like, what? 69 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:28,625 like, it’s just funny. 70 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,959 Even just. Yeah. 71 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:33,796 Something that really sticks out to me 72 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,925 as being kind of quirky just because. 73 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,761 Anabaptists, not even so much because they're Anabaptist more 74 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,180 because they're Germanic background people. 75 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,892 We tend to be, I would be Germanic background too, 76 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,646 but like anabaptist people tend to be more mellow, like our worship 77 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:54,567 services are more reverent, more chill, not very emotional or expressive. 78 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,194 And some people fault us for that. 79 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,987 But that's just who we are as a people. 80 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:01,115 So it just really tickles me that. 81 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:04,452 I have never been in a mennonite choir 82 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,829 where we didn't sing some kind 83 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:09,832 of southern like, folk song. 84 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:17,048 Or some kind of upbeat, like in african, or 85 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,508 Swahili, that’s the word I want. 86 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,134 Yes, some kind of Swahili song. 87 00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:21,219 Why Is that? 88 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,638 I've sung in a lot of mennonite choirs back in the day 89 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,391 with Bible schools and stuff that is totally true. 90 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,016 And we love it. 91 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,310 We’re like yes, we get to sing an African song. 92 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,645 But why? 93 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:31,479 I don't know. 94 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:35,358 The only thing I can figure is like, this is where we get emotional expression. 95 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,653 We get to, like, jam out with these african songs. 96 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:39,988 It just cracks me up. 97 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,824 That's just kind of, there's nothing wrong with it, obviously. 98 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,410 It's just kind of quirky, kind of bizarre. 99 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,494 I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. 100 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,455 We definitely sang Swahili songs and stuff when I was in. 101 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:49,706 Yeah. 102 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,709 Because if you actually stop and think about how obscure that is, 103 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,960 actually, I think that was some of the language 104 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,839 you used in your email is like, this is like kind of odd and very obscure. 105 00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:59,674 Like, why do we do this? 106 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:00,508 I don't really know, 107 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:04,012 but it's just kind of part of the cultural expression, I suppose. 108 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,930 I mean, and I think that would be more Mennonite, 109 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:11,686 than some other more conservative circles of anabaptist because, 110 00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:12,645 like, your more Amish 111 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,648 choirs and things would do more like, more you’re typical hymns and stuff. 112 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,693 But your mennonite choirs like African music 113 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:22,530 and they are so fun to sing and typically audiences love it. 114 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:22,989 And even 115 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:27,368 I just had to think about like our friend who was in a choir that got together 116 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:31,831 a couple of times, toured around and they sang almost strictly Moses Hogan, 117 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:35,960 like just all these like Southern folk songs and spirituals. 118 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,670 And I mean, they were good at it. 119 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,382 They had that southern slang, it just was so fun. 120 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:41,799 That's 121 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:45,011 really interesting, That is really random. 122 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,346 yeah. 123 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,640 Wow. Now, I feel like I should ask some people, like, where does that come from? 124 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,725 Because that's totally a thing. 125 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:55,104 And I can see how like growing up in it, it literally never, 126 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:58,191 ever crossed my mind until I got your email last week 127 00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:00,109 and you were like, Hey, have you thought about this? 128 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,487 And just never crossed my mind. 129 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:06,366 But you, having not necessarily grown up with that initially, 130 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,619 I can see how that would just be like, That's kind of odd, right? 131 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,622 You know, what's what's some others that, you know, some other things? 132 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,957 Well, some of them are just funny stories. 133 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,960 Well, actually, one I thought about along the lines of music 134 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:22,590 and this isn't across the board, but there are a fair number of, 135 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:26,552 and I'm speaking more from Mennonite circles because that's my experience. 136 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,261 But there are a fair 137 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:30,264 amount of Mennonites who play accordions and harmonicas, 138 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,808 And that was super random to me the first time I saw it. 139 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:31,891 Like, all these people know how to play the accordion. 140 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:37,647 And I’m like, what is with the accordion? 141 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:41,150 I get the piano and the guitar, especially the guitar and the harmonica. 142 00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:42,610 Cause like, they're portable, it's great. 143 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:46,406 But how did the accordion become a thing? 144 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,826 Yeah, okay, so somebody listening to this knows, like, 145 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,912 leave a comment down there because again, I never thought about this 146 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:55,623 til I got your email and you said it in here somewhere. 147 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,542 You call it Mennonite Quirks and Little Known Tidbits. 148 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,126 I think it was. 149 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:03,756 And yeah, and you mentioned the accordion and I had again, never thought of that. 150 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:07,176 But as soon as you said it like, that really resonates, that's totally a thing. 151 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:10,138 So where does it come from, somebody, somebody comment because we don't know. 152 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:14,725 But, but I think it comes from, you know, you just have 153 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,812 like our groups, our churches, you know, we've been together for a while 154 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,313 and you have these little 155 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:22,817 this whole network of of churches and kind of develop these interesting 156 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:26,195 trends and ideas, I don't know over that just kind of happens, I guess. 157 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,281 I mean I guess the accordion would also be somewhat Germanic. 158 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,867 So maybe it just came over and stayed? 159 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:35,163 So that's an interesting point that you've made about the Germanic influence side. 160 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,916 I mentioned this on some other podcast, but I was in Germany, southern Germany, 161 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,669 which is where my ancestors would have come from actually back in the day, 162 00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:45,089 and it felt like I was at home, like, I don't know, German, 163 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:49,427 I can't speak the language or anything, but like the culture was so similar 164 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:53,139 to my experience as a mennonite that it actually really shocked me. 165 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,765 I was really surprised. 166 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:58,978 The food, the way people acted, the way stores were, 167 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,523 the way people interacted on the street, like it was so familiar. 168 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,901 And both my wife and I were like, I mean, we could live here. 169 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,444 This feels great, you know? 170 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:09,989 And we couldn't speak their language, neither of us. And 171 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,116 it made me really appreciate that. 172 00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:16,078 There's a lot of culture that comes from the fact that our people originally 173 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:19,165 were immigrants, again, my stripe of Mennonites at least. 174 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:23,461 Were immigrants that came over fleeing persecution or whatever in the 1700s. 175 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:26,339 And that cultural influences stayed with us. 176 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:31,761 And so is this Germanic flavor, this very German, maybe some Swiss Austrian. 177 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:35,515 Yeah, that sector of of Europe is still very, very strong in our circles, 178 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:36,766 which is kind of. 179 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:37,600 Nothing wrong. With that. 180 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,685 It's a beautiful thing. But it's interesting. 181 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,687 Which explains the other thing that I thought about. 182 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:44,232 Just as you were talking like talking about the Swiss. 183 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:44,357 Because another thing that I’ve 184 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:44,565 seen a fair amount, and I enjoy it, but it’s also just super funny of how, 185 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:53,115 we have so many mennonites who know how to yodel. 186 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:53,449 That is super random. 187 00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:55,159 No kidding. Yeah. 188 00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:58,162 But the Swiss influence would make sense for that. 189 00:08:58,287 --> 00:08:59,747 That's a really good point. 190 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,040 Why else would you? 191 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,335 Yeah. See, and this is where I can see, 192 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,587 you know, someone again coming from the outside. 193 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:07,713 And in the last episode we did 194 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:11,801 was kind of this idea of seekers, like those who want to join 195 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:14,845 a mennonite church or an Anabaptist minded church or something, 196 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:18,307 and some of the cultural hurdles, I guess I don't know 197 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:21,310 if that may be too strong, but some of these things 198 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:25,106 I could see coming in, I'd be like, These people are just different. 199 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,190 I don't know how I fit in. 200 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,609 And did you ever feel that where it's like this is just different enough? 201 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,735 I'm not sure I can fit into this? 202 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,071 Or was it never anything quite that extreme? 203 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:35,074 Maybe in certain communities, but not across the board. 204 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:39,412 Okay. And some of these things, like yodeling. 205 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,581 It’s not like we get together as groups and 206 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,292 there's just these random people who are really 207 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,668 good at it. And I know a number of people who do it. 208 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,921 They just enjoy doing it, and we enjoy listening. 209 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:49,630 But yeah, it’s 210 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:53,801 just one of those random things, why do you yodel? 211 00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,219 I never thought of that. 212 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,638 That is so good that's so, yeah. 213 00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:01,475 Again kind of bizarre kind of quirky, you know like interesting. 214 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:04,478 Okay Yeah. What's, what's a few others? 215 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:07,106 Yeah, I guess it isn't so much quirks, 216 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,609 but it kind of comes back to the integration thing. 217 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,695 I just thought of some funny stories and I asked my sister for permission 218 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,362 to share this one. 219 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:17,908 But when we were in that community with the rather conservative church 220 00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,119 with like, I don't know if you call them black bumper, 221 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:23,122 but like where they were all black cars and like really conservative. 222 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:26,459 So she had gone to church by herself one day 223 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:29,462 and she had made a dress to match them. 224 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,756 And but it was like a bright green. 225 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,550 And so she goes to service and here it's communion Sunday. 226 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,469 And everybody was in black, black 227 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,721 across the board, and she's in this bright green dress. 228 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:39,889 And so she stayed. 229 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,224 But it was really awkward. 230 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:47,229 So it's one of those things I had to think about even for 231 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,689 yeah, for our church when we 232 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:52,902 would do VBS, like we did it for years and we just all had our rhythm. 233 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,989 We knew what we were doing and then we had someone come in to help one time 234 00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,785 and we put them in charge of a group because they were willing to do that. 235 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:04,580 And at the end when we were debriefing, he was like, okay, 236 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:09,168 So I figured it out on the fly, but I had no idea what I was doing. 237 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:12,129 You just handed me a folder and then expected me to just make it work. 238 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:16,509 And we were all like, we are so sorry. 239 00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:16,676 Yeah. 240 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,176 We’re all just used to knowing what to do. 241 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:22,598 And we didn’t stop to think, the newcomer doesn’t get it. 242 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,018 So yeah, that's kind of a give and take on both sides. 243 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:29,522 Like Mennonite people, anabaptist people. 244 00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:32,692 It would be good for us to try and be more aware 245 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:36,862 of the things that the new person isn't going to just know 246 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,031 and then the new person needs to be okay 247 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,952 with maybe feeling a little foolish sometimes because they didn't know, 248 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:46,747 because the lack of telling them isn't intentional. 249 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:49,709 It's just when something is a part of your life, it's not. 250 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,545 You don't think about it being different, and so you don't always remember 251 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:56,132 to communicate those things. 252 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,466 So yeah, it's 253 00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:00,845 kind of a give and take on both sides. 254 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:01,137 Yeah. 255 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:04,140 This kind of graciousness, I guess, is the word that came to mind. 256 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:07,560 I guess that's the right word. Yeah, just. 257 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,521 But isn't that what would happen with trying to join 258 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,858 essentially any group that's been together for a long period of time? 259 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,735 Because the mennonites have been around a while. 260 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,613 Like, you know, we kind of have just developed a way of doing life 261 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:20,906 right, wrong, indifferent, whatever. 262 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,993 It's just kind of just this is a culture. 263 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:24,618 Yeah, I don't know. 264 00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,621 It's kind of like whenever I do a lot of traveling internationally 265 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,499 and it's really fun because every place I go, 266 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,626 they just do things a little bit differently 267 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:35,087 and I find it really neat and kind of interesting, 268 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,215 but it makes me kind of appreciate all the different church cultures 269 00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:40,134 that are out there, not just within the Mennonites, 270 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,635 but you would have that in, 271 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,554 you know, different forms of the Protestants 272 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,765 and the evangelicals and the Orthodox groups, 273 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,893 and the whatever, take your pick, they all have these interesting ways 274 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:53,397 they developed over the years of doing life, doing church. 275 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,523 I don't see those things as 276 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,568 wrong, you know, Of course, they just kind of are, I suppose. 277 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,069 But it makes it, 278 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:02,072 yeah, a little interesting for people joining, you know, from the outside. 279 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:02,907 Yeah. 280 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,451 Grace is a good word to use because another story I thought of 281 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:09,705 and this one I had to laugh at myself, which is also a very valuable character 282 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:13,292 trait to have when you're coming into, like you said, any cultural setting. 283 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,711 But we're talking about like coming into Anabaptist churches 284 00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:18,714 where you're the odd man out and that's okay. 285 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:22,009 But there was one time same church because I think of that one 286 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,470 because that was the most drastic church setting 287 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,431 that I've experienced as far as like really conservative. 288 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:30,434 But we were at someone's house for lunch and I was visiting 289 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,728 with all the little children and they spoke Dutch. 290 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:33,646 I mean, the children spoke 291 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,440 English and Dutch, but like at that church they would have predominantly spoke 292 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,317 Dutch or German, however you would say it. 293 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,402 And I was sitting with them and they're like, 294 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,071 we want to teach you how to say colors. 295 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,823 I was like, okay, sure. 296 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,449 And so they started teaching me some things. 297 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,660 Then we got to yellow and they said lelow. 298 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,079 And so I said it and it just peels of giggles. 299 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,580 And I was like, well I must not have said it right. 300 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,957 And so they're like, try again. 301 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,167 So I said, lelow. And they just laughed and laughed. 302 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,211 I'm like, All right, you guys like, What am I doing wrong? 303 00:13:57,211 --> 00:14:01,465 And they're like, It’s yellow. We told you to say it wrong. 304 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,132 Bunch of little kids. 305 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,467 And like, you can take that really bad and be like, that was so mean. 306 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:07,096 But I’m like, ok, like... 307 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,682 So you really got to learn to laugh 308 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:13,769 at yourself. 309 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,231 Like, don't take it too seriously when you don’t always get it, it's okay. 310 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:20,818 And even just another one I thought about that I've heard seekers 311 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,821 talk about before. Is... 312 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,614 we'll just say mennonites for the sake of simplicity. 313 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:30,578 But we have memorized a lot of songs, a lot of choruses, 314 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,664 simple songs that we’ll sing, 315 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:36,959 you know, at the end of service or at communion 316 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,587 or I'm thinking specifically like fellowship meals. 317 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:44,508 There's like three different chorus songs that are sung at fellowship meals often. 318 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,553 And so as you're coming in as a seeker, it's like, okay, everybody's 319 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:51,307 breaking out in song and I don't know this, so, I'm just going to, you know. 320 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:54,977 Try to mouth it or awkwardly stand in the corner and it's like, 321 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,937 you know, it's okay. 322 00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:59,356 They grew up singing these songs and it took me 323 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,359 a little while to learn them because if you don't hear them often, 324 00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:03,569 but you can learn them. 325 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,403 And so, 326 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,363 yeah, just the thing of not taking yourself too 327 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,324 seriously and just being real self-conscious 328 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,827 and uptight, like, I just don't fit in and I just don't get it. 329 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,329 I mean, you can ask someone for help. 330 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,539 You could have them like, can you write out the words for me 331 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,666 so I can at least know the words and then learn the tune. 332 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:20,669 Like if you want to quotes fit in. 333 00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,671 Like if you want to be involved, 334 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:25,549 take steps to learn and give yourself time to learn. 335 00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:28,761 Like nobody's laughing at you because you don't know 336 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:33,265 Because they know you don't know and it's okay. 337 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,600 But yeah, that was definitely one I thought about 338 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,226 because even when we get together for small groups 339 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:40,981 we’ll often have a chorus book that has no sheet music with it. 340 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,483 It's just the words 341 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:46,737 and people just know the music from it being passed down and just from memory. 342 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,322 And so you have to give yourself time 343 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:51,492 to learn those things without being all self-conscious about it. 344 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,662 And just like, you know, they're so different than me. 345 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,121 So I think our perspective 346 00:15:56,121 --> 00:16:00,209 really helps a lot with that and just being willing to ask for help. 347 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,752 There's 348 00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,713 as you're saying that I immediately thought of an essay that C.S. 349 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:05,631 Lewis wrote called the, 350 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,716 I think it's called The Inner Ring or something like that. 351 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:11,387 And it's writing about this, how each person has this innate 352 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,765 desire to belong to a group of some kind. 353 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:19,436 You could use terms like community, a religious group of some kind, like why? 354 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,439 Why is religion so big in the world, You know, not just Christianity. 355 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:23,983 Take your pick of any major religion. 356 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,361 It's because it's a place to belong and fit in. 357 00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:30,197 On the flip side, if you feel like you're not fitting in 358 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,950 or you're missing a critical piece to fit into 359 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:37,287 whatever that group might be, it's like a cognitive dissonance. 360 00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:40,499 Something's off, you don't feel right. 361 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:43,669 And that can really, really be hard 362 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,672 for a person and that's kind of how we're hardwired. 363 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:49,341 I don't know why God made it entirely that way. 364 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,468 I think it's because they're not designed to do life 365 00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:52,886 by ourselves in isolation, you know? 366 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,888 But it can be really difficult. 367 00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:58,100 It can feel like I don't fit in, I don't belong. 368 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:01,562 And that's unfortunate because I don't think that 369 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,230 would be the intention of anybody. 370 00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,024 You know, in that case, of 371 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,401 they have the songs memorized and you don't or whatever. 372 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,863 It's not like, we're trying to isolate you from the group. 373 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,782 But I can see how that could be very 374 00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:18,203 painful over time, especially if it is an ongoing situation. 375 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:22,791 Like for you, How long did it feel, How much time did it feel like 376 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:27,087 you needed to start saying, Hey, I actually feel like I belong here? 377 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,173 I feel like I know how things work now. 378 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:33,802 Was that a pretty long process or did did it come fairly naturally? 379 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:38,557 I honestly don't remember, because we would have 380 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,476 been in a couple of different churches 381 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:44,271 over that initial period for different reasons. 382 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,148 And again, like I was a young person, 383 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,818 like we talked about in the previous episode here, 384 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,987 So it was easier for me to assimilate. 385 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:56,200 So I didn't feel as much of that, because I was learning faster. 386 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,786 I could see how age could be a factor in that, 387 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:02,414 you know that the cultural hurdles again I do a lot of traveling 388 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,374 internationally with different ministries and things. 389 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:05,125 That's incredible. 390 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,252 When a family moves to a foreign culture 391 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:11,256 to do missions or whatever, the children are just a wonder to watch. 392 00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:14,802 They assimilate so well, like before you know it, you turn around 393 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:15,969 and they're like speaking the language 394 00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:18,555 and hanging out with their local friends and it's like no big deal. 395 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:23,185 And the parents are struggling to fit in to whatever culture it might be. 396 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,728 It's just the way it is. It's really hard. 397 00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:27,773 So age, I think, may have something to do with it, or it may depend 398 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,776 on how big the cultural gap is that you're leaping to. 399 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:31,443 I don't know. 400 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:35,948 Or maybe that's what we're trying to do with this 401 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,158 episode is just that awareness of, 402 00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:41,703 you know, there is going to be some cultural 403 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,705 a learning curve, I suppose. 404 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,582 Right? I don't know what's a few others. 405 00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:48,210 Did you have any others you wanted to mention? 406 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:51,046 For one other cultural thing, and I saw this 407 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:54,049 more at Bible school and it just really tickled me. 408 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:59,263 But even looking back at like mennonite pictures from like, 409 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,182 you know, the sixties and seventies and eighties, it's like, well, 410 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:03,183 the worldly culture 411 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:07,062 was having all of their hairstyles and all of their crazy clothes 412 00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:10,065 and like all their stuff, like Mennonites over that period. 413 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:13,694 And even then the Amish too, like they had their trends, like, 414 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:16,738 you know, you might have a season where all the women wore elastic 415 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,073 in the waist of their cape dresses. 416 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,534 Well, now we're to belts or now we're to fitted waist. 417 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:24,997 And you know how they wear their covering or how, we can't do a whole lot 418 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,498 with our hairstyle under our cap. 419 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,417 Or over our veil or whatever. 420 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,501 But, you know, you might have your hair down 421 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:32,796 over your ears or like kind of a trend with young people now, 422 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:36,717 like the generation after me is to, like, have a little loose hair around your ear. 423 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,679 We can find ways to be a little trendy, 424 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:41,346 so it's like 425 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:45,434 Mennonites and Anabaptist people are not immune to that. 426 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,643 And if you're in it, 427 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:50,898 you see those little subtleties, and I just like it cracks me up right now. 428 00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:55,527 Certain Mennonite communities, the guys are really, 429 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,488 have really trendy hairstyles and some of them are pretty elaborate. 430 00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:00,157 And it just cracks me up. 431 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:00,240 And I just ask them sometimes, I’m like, 432 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,328 you know when you’re 80 and you look back at these pictures, 433 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:05,412 are you going to feel like 434 00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:08,707 people from the 1970s who’re like, why did I do that? 435 00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:09,958 Why did I have a mullet? 436 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:15,380 So it’s like, mennonites are not immune to fashion trends. 437 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,549 But they just look a little different. 438 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,677 And they're, it's like a whole rocket science too. 439 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,137 Like trying to figure it all out 440 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:25,140 because it'll depend on like, which mennonite group and, where they are 441 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,227 in North America and like who they're trying to associate with. 442 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:29,228 And then, you know, 443 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,562 I mean, for the most part, it's kind of like, 444 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:33,732 okay, whatever, you know, that really whatever it is, it just is. 445 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,236 But I do find it kind of hilarious in its own unique way. 446 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,613 I don't know. It just it's such a human thing. 447 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:43,325 Right, that’s what I was going to say, it's just humanity. 448 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,202 Like, how can you have self-expression? 449 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:48,372 that's kind of cool. I like that. I’m gonna do that too. 450 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:51,166 Well, okay, so before we started, just before we hit 451 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:54,294 the record button, another one that your husband sitting here off camera. 452 00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:55,879 I think it was you who said it. 453 00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:58,715 Was it volleyball or you mentioned volleyball? 454 00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,884 Or maybe that was our camera guy said something about like, 455 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:04,012 volleyball is like the thing for, you know, especially men 456 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:06,265 and our young men, you know, like in their teens. 457 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,849 Volleyball and softball, now spikeball. 458 00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,518 Now softball. 459 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,812 Well, the softball is very much of a southern 460 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,438 in the southern Mennonite churches. 461 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,065 Yeah. Goodness. 462 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,734 It's a thing. Such a thing. 463 00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:20,696 And I never thought about that until it's like, 464 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:23,407 yeah, we just get together and play softball, like, all the time. 465 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:27,577 Like we have, we will cross the nation for a volleyball tournament. 466 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:30,247 I mean some churches are staunchly against tournament. 467 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:33,667 Because they're not okay with organized competition. 468 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,711 They’re not okay with that. 469 00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:39,423 Well, but this is one way that mennonite young people can kind of get around 470 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,551 not playing in, say, leagues or 471 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,594 in a public school setting or something like that. 472 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:45,637 And okay, again, whatever. 473 00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,472 Each church kind of has to figure out where they fall on that. 474 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:48,390 But yeah, absolutely. 475 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:51,184 Some of these young guys are literally, you know, on weekends, 476 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:54,062 they're incredibly good and they're driving, you know, 6 hours. 477 00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:56,189 one way to go play a tournament, 478 00:21:56,189 --> 00:22:02,779 you know, it just is like it's just a thing that we do, apparently. 479 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:03,238 It's a way 480 00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:07,117 we play, but it's a way we build relationship. 481 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:07,492 Yeah. 482 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,286 Like you said, you go to these volleyball tournaments, 483 00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:12,039 or you go to Bible school, and you'll play volleyball. 484 00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:13,498 Ceaselessly. Yeah. 485 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:13,832 Oh my. 486 00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:15,208 See, I'm not much of a volleyball guy. 487 00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:18,211 I look like a giraffe out there. 488 00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:19,087 But, you know. 489 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:20,756 But, yeah, it was actually I. 490 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:22,174 So I actually thought about that one 491 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,843 because that one was one I didn't really fit in like, as well. 492 00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:28,221 Like, it's, it's okay, but it wasn't like my thing. 493 00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:31,058 But for some guys at Bible school like, it was their thing. 494 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,434 It was a big deal. 495 00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:34,269 And I always kind of wondered about that. 496 00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:38,148 It's like, if you don't fit in to that, It can feel, 497 00:22:38,231 --> 00:22:41,735 yeah, I can feel a little odd, you know, it can feel and that comes back to that 498 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:45,989 whole like all of us want to fit in, you know, And, this this can be hard. 499 00:22:45,989 --> 00:22:47,616 It can be a challenge. 500 00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:52,704 But I think you'd said something like, don't take it too seriously or don't... 501 00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:53,997 It's okay to be different. 502 00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:55,624 Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. 503 00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:58,377 I think that's, I think there's some truth to that. You know. 504 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:01,296 And kind of bunny trailing off of that. 505 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:01,797 Maybe on 506 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:05,634 a little bit more serious note, but thinking about 507 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:09,513 I guess I want to find a balance here between like the way Mennonites are as a 508 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:12,724 culture is okay because it's who we are as a people, 509 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,936 just like any other culture has their quirks, has their ways of doing things 510 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:19,731 like it doesn't mean it's bad just because it's unique to them. 511 00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:21,733 But as a seeker coming 512 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:24,778 in, you're going to have a fresh perspective on it. 513 00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:28,532 You're going to be looking at things and being like, That's unusual, 514 00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:32,202 or that doesn't make sense because you didn't grow up with that. 515 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:35,539 It's not normal for you, and that can be really valuable. 516 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:39,835 Not in a I want to change you and challenge everything kind of way. 517 00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,671 I don't think that's the right way to approach that. 518 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:46,508 But just like curiosity and wanting to learn and that kind of thing. 519 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,093 But something I definitely thought about 520 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:52,055 as far as what you were talking about was like kind of peer pressure. 521 00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:53,807 And we both know like there's 522 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:56,726 some communities that are worse about this than others, 523 00:23:56,726 --> 00:24:00,355 but there is definitely really strong 524 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:04,276 peer pressure and the pressure to perform 525 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,445 in a lot of our communities, 526 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:12,492 partly because a lot of our principals show up in externals, 527 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:15,454 which isn't a bad thing, like, you know, the principle of modesty 528 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,915 or the principle of cleanliness or orderliness, because those are 529 00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:22,377 traits of God, like God is a God of order and, you know, those kinds of things. 530 00:24:22,377 --> 00:24:25,338 And that we reflect that in our external lives. 531 00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:26,506 So that's not bad. 532 00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:29,468 But then those can turn into 533 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,262 you're not good enough if 534 00:24:32,345 --> 00:24:34,347 or you need to measure up. 535 00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:38,351 And I think as seekers coming in, 536 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:41,771 I guess striking that balance between 537 00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:44,316 there will be ways you need to assimilate 538 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:46,943 just because it is a culture, 539 00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:50,530 but at the same time coming in as a seeker, someone different, 540 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:54,075 you can come in and say, I don't like to bake 541 00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:58,455 or I don't own my own business or I hate volleyball. 542 00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,540 Like, and that's okay. 543 00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:05,545 If you can come in as a seeker willing to learn, but also being, 544 00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:08,757 learning to be completely comfortable with who you are and not feeling like 545 00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:14,554 you have to be Mennonite, like all these other things that we do that aren't really 546 00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:16,348 necessary, you know what I mean? 547 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:20,101 Like playing volleyball, whatever, 548 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,562 learning how to sew and those kinds of things. 549 00:25:22,562 --> 00:25:23,897 Like, 550 00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:25,732 Yeah, I know a lady just recently told me 551 00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:29,027 she's like, when I told her I was doing this interview, she's like. 552 00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:29,945 Well, I just, 553 00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:31,488 I don't want people coming in thinking, well, 554 00:25:31,488 --> 00:25:33,949 they just have to know how to make bread. 555 00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:36,701 It's like, you don't have to. It's okay. 556 00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:41,456 So I think as seekers coming in, we can maybe help, 557 00:25:41,456 --> 00:25:44,459 bring perspective to that pressure to perform 558 00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:49,673 if we can learn how to assimilate, but also be comfortable with who we are 559 00:25:49,756 --> 00:25:53,927 and saying no to that unhealthy peer pressure, 560 00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:56,096 if you know what I mean. 561 00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:56,429 Yeah. 562 00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:58,473 Like, well, again, this was something 563 00:25:58,473 --> 00:26:01,685 before we hit record we were you're talking about all of us here. 564 00:26:01,768 --> 00:26:07,232 And one of them was to be, okay, let me back up a little bit. 565 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:10,443 One of the Mennonite culture things, 566 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,904 I think it comes from a kind of German Swiss background. 567 00:26:12,904 --> 00:26:15,615 But we do things right. We are super productive. 568 00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:20,495 We're like, we get things done, again, good things, you know, 569 00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:26,167 but that can push into you need to be very economically prosperous. 570 00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:28,295 You know, you need to work hard. 571 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:31,047 And other one is you should have a business that's like 572 00:26:31,047 --> 00:26:34,009 super common, you know, for Mennonite 573 00:26:34,009 --> 00:26:36,511 guys especially to have their own business 574 00:26:36,511 --> 00:26:39,764 and those things I think can very quickly again, 575 00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:42,809 those are not wrong, but that could push into some things 576 00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,769 that aren't so good because that can put some 577 00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:48,565 some serious pressure on someone coming in to feel like, well, to fit in. 578 00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,191 I mean, this is this is how I'm supposed to do it. 579 00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:51,526 So I need to start a business, too. 580 00:26:51,526 --> 00:26:52,652 Well, hold on. 581 00:26:52,652 --> 00:26:54,654 You know, you don't have to do that. 582 00:26:54,654 --> 00:26:57,949 But that is pretty deep in our culture, actually, 583 00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:01,745 which is kind of a quirky thing, I guess. 584 00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:02,454 I mean, that's a, 585 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,665 it's a lot of work, you know, but it's just how we are, I suppose. 586 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,002 So I see some of these things can just be kind of whatever, 587 00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:10,003 you know, that they are. 588 00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:12,964 You like volleyball, you don't, whatever. But 589 00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:16,051 if it's something where you feel a lot of pressure of, 590 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:19,512 man, I need to be working really, really hard and have my own 591 00:27:19,512 --> 00:27:22,515 business and blah, blah, blah, like the whole list, I don't know. 592 00:27:22,682 --> 00:27:26,019 And this will vary from mennonite community to mennonite community, but 593 00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:27,062 some of those things, I don't know. 594 00:27:27,062 --> 00:27:29,564 It feels like that could be a lot of unnecessary pressure. 595 00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:30,774 Not intentionally. 596 00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:34,861 I don't think the seekers coming in or whatever are being pressured. 597 00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:38,156 You have to do it this way, but just by osmosis you feel like you should. 598 00:27:38,239 --> 00:27:38,531 I don't know. 599 00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:41,117 Do want to speak into that where these things aren't wrong things, 600 00:27:41,117 --> 00:27:44,287 but it could put a unhealthy push on people 601 00:27:44,371 --> 00:27:47,999 to be something maybe they shouldn't I think that's where 602 00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:49,709 some of that conflict 603 00:27:49,709 --> 00:27:52,545 that comes for people looking out, even if they're not interested 604 00:27:52,545 --> 00:27:53,421 in becoming anabaptist. 605 00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:57,342 So like, well, they're just everything they do is on the outside 606 00:27:57,384 --> 00:28:00,804 because there's so much pressure to perform. 607 00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:06,434 And like we're known for our work ethic which comes out of like Godly principles. 608 00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:09,354 But then that becomes, can become not always, 609 00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,731 but it can become an overriding thing. 610 00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:15,568 So then like, you know, if you have moms that are in a really busy state of littles 611 00:28:15,568 --> 00:28:19,864 and just like their house is a wreck and so they can just feel like, 612 00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:23,743 well, I can't host anybody until I get all tidied up and then you just can't. 613 00:28:23,743 --> 00:28:26,746 And then you never host like, 614 00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:28,373 And even just that like something like 615 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:31,584 hosting, is a bunny trail a little bit from what we were just talking about. 616 00:28:31,584 --> 00:28:34,546 But I know that's something that I've heard 617 00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:37,006 from people who've hosted a seeker 618 00:28:37,006 --> 00:28:40,301 visiting their church for the first time or whatever, regardless of. 619 00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:41,845 Well, yeah, 620 00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:46,516 kind of regardless of their background, but often it's a non churched background. 621 00:28:46,599 --> 00:28:48,476 It's not uncommon 622 00:28:48,476 --> 00:28:52,063 at all to have someone set up to host every Sunday, 623 00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:56,025 like just have a schedule of someone in the church is going to host, 624 00:28:56,025 --> 00:28:59,529 if there's visitors, whether it's, you know, out of town 625 00:28:59,529 --> 00:29:02,991 mennonites or a local visitor, whatever, like to have someone in place 626 00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:06,536 to have like a meal ready for visitors. 627 00:29:06,619 --> 00:29:08,413 And I love that about our churches. 628 00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:11,374 I love that we are involved in that way. 629 00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:15,253 But there's been so many times that it, and I guess I would say specifically 630 00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:18,047 an unchurched person, because like, we're in the Bible Belt, 631 00:29:18,047 --> 00:29:19,424 we have lots of Baptists. 632 00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:22,761 They do potlucks, like, there’s a lot of fellowshipping around food 633 00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:25,764 that happens in some other denominations as well. 634 00:29:25,847 --> 00:29:29,476 But so I'll say specifically unchurched people, 635 00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:33,521 they'll get invited to someone's home for lunch and it feels really weird, 636 00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:36,524 It feels really awkward, and it's like, I'm 637 00:29:36,524 --> 00:29:39,861 in your home, I'm at your table, This is your personal space. 638 00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:41,863 And it's like, What do I do with myself? 639 00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:43,156 This feels weird. 640 00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:45,450 And for us, it's just like it's normal because. 641 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:47,243 I literally don't think a thing of it. 642 00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:50,747 Yeah, that's so interesting, because I have some local friends that I’ve like, 643 00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:53,374 the one had helped to, like with this house 644 00:29:53,374 --> 00:29:55,752 that we built, and it's like, Hey, come on over sometime. 645 00:29:55,752 --> 00:29:57,378 I'll show you the finished product and like, 646 00:29:57,378 --> 00:29:58,797 we'll hang out and I'll make you a smoothie or something. 647 00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:03,176 I mean, nothing crazy at all. Like, and, 648 00:30:03,259 --> 00:30:04,594 you know, that's, just hard 649 00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:08,056 for some people to do because it feels, but this is your, your space. 650 00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:10,934 Whereas we're just like, oh no, we just kind of do this. 651 00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:13,228 Yeah. It's a very... 652 00:30:13,228 --> 00:30:14,646 I'm not really sure where that comes from, actually. 653 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:17,232 Now that I think about it, I wonder where we get that. 654 00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:17,857 I don't know. 655 00:30:17,857 --> 00:30:21,110 Maybe because we typically be, since 656 00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:24,113 we're more community minded, we're just 657 00:30:24,113 --> 00:30:27,575 more open in that way because, like, we view people outside of our family 658 00:30:27,575 --> 00:30:31,746 as part of our family, like, we just kind of welcome people in. 659 00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:35,166 And, I mean, it's again, it comes back to those biblical principles of, like, 660 00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:38,711 you know, show hospitality to strangers and like those kinds of things. 661 00:30:38,711 --> 00:30:42,465 So, like, hospitality is something I feel like Anabaptists do really well. 662 00:30:42,549 --> 00:30:46,553 And I'm really thankful for that because there's been so many times 663 00:30:46,636 --> 00:30:50,598 when it's just left an incredible testimony of like, 664 00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:54,686 it is significant and I don't really understand it because I'm used to it now. 665 00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:58,523 So I'm like, It's not weird for me to go to someone's home, 666 00:30:58,606 --> 00:31:00,525 especially someone that I know fairly well, just like, 667 00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:02,652 you know, if people come to my house, I'm just like, 668 00:31:02,652 --> 00:31:05,530 I can't hear the door, just come in like, it's fine. 669 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,448 And I have friends that, you know, if they come over at lunch, 670 00:31:07,448 --> 00:31:09,826 I'm like, just raid the fridge and they know they can raid the fridge 671 00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:11,119 and like, yeah. 672 00:31:11,119 --> 00:31:14,330 So I think it is unique 673 00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:17,166 in our American culture to do that. 674 00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:19,002 And that's one of the things I really love. 675 00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:21,254 Like, I love that about Anabaptist culture. 676 00:31:21,254 --> 00:31:24,924 So maybe that's a bit of a quirk, but that's like a really positive quirk. 677 00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:27,635 I would very much agree with you on that. 678 00:31:27,635 --> 00:31:31,472 That is a very positive thing. 679 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:32,807 I guess it's not a quirk, 680 00:31:32,807 --> 00:31:37,145 but it's something we've held on to is just the thing of gender roles. 681 00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:42,734 And I think one of the things that makes it easier for us to do that is because 682 00:31:42,817 --> 00:31:43,568 our women 683 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:47,322 are fulfilling those roles of like homemaker, 684 00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:50,575 which I know is going to be super controversial for people. 685 00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:52,660 Right, I know the comments are just going to come pouring in. 686 00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:54,495 I know that's just going to come pouring in. 687 00:31:54,495 --> 00:31:55,997 It's like I'm not opposed. 688 00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:59,792 Like we have so many women who do part time jobs or they're doing, 689 00:31:59,959 --> 00:32:00,877 you know, work from home. 690 00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:03,004 Oh my goodness, the Norwex and the Lemongrass. 691 00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:07,175 Oh, that’s very mennonite cultural phenomenon. 692 00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:09,844 We won’t get into that one. 693 00:32:09,844 --> 00:32:12,013 If you’re curious what that is. You can leave a comment. 694 00:32:12,013 --> 00:32:13,222 If you haven’t heard of it yet. 695 00:32:13,222 --> 00:32:14,807 We have so many like, Norwex 696 00:32:14,807 --> 00:32:19,020 and lemongrass and Tupperware reps, like it's something they can do from home. 697 00:32:19,103 --> 00:32:20,271 Yeah, but it works. 698 00:32:20,271 --> 00:32:20,688 Yeah. 699 00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:21,731 So, like, 700 00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:24,901 I'm not saying women can't work at all or that our women don't go to school 701 00:32:24,901 --> 00:32:25,902 because, like, 702 00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:29,238 I know some women who have, like, pulled a load because they wanted a degree 703 00:32:29,238 --> 00:32:33,576 or for nursing whatever but I do think that is probably 704 00:32:33,576 --> 00:32:37,997 what helps us be able to host well because our ladies 705 00:32:37,997 --> 00:32:41,709 are embracing that 706 00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:45,797 scriptural role of women being keepers at home and caring for the home. 707 00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:50,301 So then we can you know, prepare meals that are pleasant. 708 00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:54,639 Doesn't have to be complicated, but, you know, we have the time 709 00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:59,060 to be home to prepare our home to receive people. 710 00:32:59,143 --> 00:33:01,020 And so if we're never home, 711 00:33:01,020 --> 00:33:03,898 it's always going to look stressful, like it can be stressful 712 00:33:03,898 --> 00:33:06,067 sometimes even when you are home and you have lots of children. 713 00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:07,735 We have things going on, whatever. 714 00:33:07,735 --> 00:33:10,780 But I think that makes us unique as well. 715 00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:15,159 Just how we have embraced gender roles the way God intended 716 00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:21,374 so that we can serve in those ways, makes us unique. 717 00:33:21,457 --> 00:33:23,167 Yeah. 718 00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:26,963 There's very much this. This 719 00:33:27,046 --> 00:33:28,423 style of way of, 720 00:33:28,423 --> 00:33:32,260 like, communal, family oriented things 721 00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:35,680 like that, and like, fairly strong around, centered around those things. 722 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,266 And again, I don't know entirely where that comes from. 723 00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:38,933 Obviously, there's, 724 00:33:38,933 --> 00:33:42,687 there's biblical principles for that, but we have it extra strong 725 00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:44,063 as opposed to some other church groups. 726 00:33:44,063 --> 00:33:45,982 And I don't know if there's some history there, 727 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:49,360 maybe because of the extreme persecution the Mennonites went through in history 728 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:54,449 and they had to work together really careful like really closely to survive, 729 00:33:54,532 --> 00:33:56,367 who knows? But is part of who we are. 730 00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:59,162 And that yeah, can definitely throw a curveball. 731 00:33:59,162 --> 00:34:00,913 Like I have a friend 732 00:34:00,913 --> 00:34:04,667 who, you know, just works at a business here in town and I'm like, Hey, come over. 733 00:34:04,667 --> 00:34:06,461 We got a place for hammocks. 734 00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:09,172 If you ever want to just come chill like you can do that. 735 00:34:09,172 --> 00:34:11,507 And she's, you know, keep saying, I'd love to do that. I'd love to do that. 736 00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:14,343 But, you know, it doesn't happen because it it feels kind of weird. 737 00:34:14,343 --> 00:34:16,929 It's like, well, that's your your space, you know? 738 00:34:16,929 --> 00:34:21,517 So as an American in a mainstream American culture, that's like really weird. 739 00:34:21,517 --> 00:34:26,314 And for me, that's like not, it's nothing I don't really think about that. 740 00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:28,441 And it's just what it is, you know? 741 00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,359 But these things can really kind of throw you a curveball. 742 00:34:30,359 --> 00:34:33,154 Like when you're coming in fresh, 743 00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:36,824 you know, and not part of having grown up in this culture and so forth. 744 00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,368 There was a mennonite group. 745 00:34:39,368 --> 00:34:42,747 I say group because it was a number of local people they got together for... 746 00:34:42,830 --> 00:34:45,583 I think it was Christmas or New Years or something. 747 00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:47,418 And so were Mennonites. We do food. 748 00:34:47,418 --> 00:34:49,670 If we're together, there will be food. It's just what we do. 749 00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:51,756 Another quirk. 750 00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:54,342 We can't get together, not have food. I mean, we are sitting here with chai. 751 00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:57,845 We have to have some kind of beverage or something. 752 00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,180 It's just how we fellowship. 753 00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:04,852 But so yeah, there was this local lady from the community who was kind of alone. 754 00:35:04,852 --> 00:35:08,272 She didn't really have a lot of friends or family, and this Mennonite family 755 00:35:08,272 --> 00:35:11,692 had made friends with her and they're like, hey, come over. 756 00:35:11,692 --> 00:35:12,735 You can join our party. 757 00:35:12,735 --> 00:35:15,571 Like they were having a number of friends over. 758 00:35:15,571 --> 00:35:17,240 I think it was New Year's. 759 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:21,244 And this lady was like, at the end of the evening, 760 00:35:21,327 --> 00:35:24,372 she's like, Was there like, was the punch spiked or anything? 761 00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,541 Because like, I feel really good. 762 00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:31,462 And they're like, No, it was just normal punch, Like there was no alcohol anywhere. 763 00:35:31,462 --> 00:35:33,714 And she's like, But I almost feel that way. 764 00:35:33,714 --> 00:35:37,552 She's like, I just feel like relaxed and peaceful and just like, 765 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,054 like she had a really good time and she was just sure 766 00:35:40,054 --> 00:35:43,683 there had to be alcohol somewhere to feel so rest like relaxed and whatever. 767 00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:47,520 And they're like, no, like it's just 768 00:35:47,603 --> 00:35:48,437 it's, 769 00:35:48,437 --> 00:35:51,107 just probably, you know, the presence of God 770 00:35:51,107 --> 00:35:55,403 and just the peace of fellowship and like, we don't need the extra stuff for that. 771 00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:58,698 That is something. 772 00:35:58,781 --> 00:36:00,283 Wow. So even things like that, like 773 00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:04,745 if you go to mennonite parties, there will not be alcohol. 774 00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:07,248 If you're used to that, you will not see. 775 00:36:07,248 --> 00:36:09,208 Like at our weddings. 776 00:36:09,208 --> 00:36:11,294 Like our weddings are definitely not going to be 777 00:36:11,294 --> 00:36:13,212 what you're used to in your typical American weddings. 778 00:36:13,212 --> 00:36:16,716 But yeah, just different things like that. 779 00:36:16,757 --> 00:36:20,469 It depends on which part of life you intersect with the mennonites. 780 00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:25,474 But the cultural learning curve is very, very, very steep in some areas. 781 00:36:25,474 --> 00:36:29,604 In another ways, maybe not so much like, you know, yeah, you get in all those but 782 00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:33,566 and again, some of them are really positive, like hospitality and so forth. 783 00:36:33,566 --> 00:36:35,026 And some of them I would view as, 784 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:37,486 you know, maybe not so good, like maybe some of the pressure of 785 00:36:37,486 --> 00:36:38,362 you should have your own business. 786 00:36:38,362 --> 00:36:38,863 You should, 787 00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:41,240 I think another one we mentioned before we started recording, you should, 788 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,034 you shouldn't rent, you should buy a house. 789 00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:44,368 That's a big one. 790 00:36:44,368 --> 00:36:46,913 I think that one is slowly changing actually. 791 00:36:46,913 --> 00:36:50,917 But you know, that could be a lot of undue unnecessary pressure on someone. 792 00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:53,461 Just again, not because someone's like you should, 793 00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:55,588 you know, but it's just that's what everybody else is doing. 794 00:36:55,588 --> 00:37:00,301 So you feel this pressure to do that and maybe you shouldn't, you know, or whatever 795 00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:00,801 you could 796 00:37:00,801 --> 00:37:03,804 argue that from all kinds of directions. 797 00:37:03,846 --> 00:37:04,180 Yeah. 798 00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:08,476 I think maybe all we're doing here with this episode is just like 799 00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:11,103 the awareness that these things are there 800 00:37:11,103 --> 00:37:16,567 because it is so easy for us that are in that environment to completely forget. 801 00:37:16,776 --> 00:37:19,362 It's like the fish in water, like you don't even know the water exists 802 00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:22,240 because it's just your culture and that's not wrong. 803 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:25,701 But be at least aware of it 804 00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:26,285 for people. 805 00:37:26,285 --> 00:37:29,872 And I think people like yourself have been really good for me to help me see that, 806 00:37:29,872 --> 00:37:31,332 because you maybe mentioned 807 00:37:31,332 --> 00:37:33,042 that that's a little different, you know, or whatever, 808 00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:35,544 because you're coming from a different background 809 00:37:35,544 --> 00:37:39,507 and that's healthy and that's good for us to see that. 810 00:37:39,590 --> 00:37:42,551 Okay Yeah. What's, what's a few others? 811 00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:43,928 Now, something 812 00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:45,680 even just in the community, 813 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,432 probably especially in the community that my husband I live in, because we both 814 00:37:48,432 --> 00:37:52,937 would have grown up in like small southern church plants 815 00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:55,982 where there wasn't a lot of community connections. 816 00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:57,817 As far as your bloodlines. 817 00:37:57,817 --> 00:38:01,487 And so the community we're living in now, he has a lot of family history there. 818 00:38:01,612 --> 00:38:04,657 And yeah, just the way his family 819 00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:08,202 looks, he's easily identified as being part of that family. 820 00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:11,622 And that's true for some other bloodlines as well within the anabaptist Church. 821 00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:12,957 But anyways, 822 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:16,711 so we'll be walking through our small town and it's typically an Amish person. 823 00:38:16,711 --> 00:38:18,337 This random Amish person will come up to us 824 00:38:18,337 --> 00:38:20,006 and they never introduce themselves. 825 00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:22,842 So we never know who they are 826 00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,594 because everybody already knows who they are, But we don't because 827 00:38:25,594 --> 00:38:26,679 we're new to the community. 828 00:38:26,679 --> 00:38:28,973 And he'll just be like, you're a so-and-so. 829 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:31,726 And we're like, Yeah, we can't hide it. And he's like, So! 830 00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:32,977 And then he'll just go, like, 831 00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:35,646 talk about things in the community, or he'll try to, like, 832 00:38:35,646 --> 00:38:38,441 just really pick apart the generational lines and like, 833 00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:42,611 so what part of this family you come from and all this stuff, but something that 834 00:38:42,611 --> 00:38:47,867 it would be good for seekers to know and not be weirded out by, especially if 835 00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:50,161 you're in a larger 836 00:38:50,161 --> 00:38:53,080 conservative community like that where they do talk about bloodlines 837 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,709 a lot in like your generational backgrounds, 838 00:38:56,792 --> 00:38:59,795 it can feel really sketchy when like an Amish, 839 00:38:59,962 --> 00:39:01,922 I'm going to say Amish specifically because that's our experience 840 00:39:01,922 --> 00:39:04,842 with people who do this the most, when they will come out to be like, 841 00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:05,926 So who are you? 842 00:39:05,926 --> 00:39:06,886 Who is your family? 843 00:39:06,886 --> 00:39:09,555 Where are you from? Where do you live? Where do you work? And all these things. 844 00:39:09,555 --> 00:39:12,558 And I have threatened so many times to just make up a business card 845 00:39:12,558 --> 00:39:15,770 and just be like, Here, this is who I am. 846 00:39:15,811 --> 00:39:19,065 And in the broader world that feels really sketchy. 847 00:39:19,065 --> 00:39:22,693 It's like, why do you want all this personal information about me? 848 00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:24,987 And if it was anyone other than an anabaptist person, 849 00:39:24,987 --> 00:39:28,574 it would feel really weird and I would totally not give them my information. 850 00:39:28,657 --> 00:39:31,786 But in Anabaptist circle's like bloodlines are really important 851 00:39:31,786 --> 00:39:35,122 because community is important and family is important. 852 00:39:35,122 --> 00:39:41,337 So it's important for us to know who you are from And that's like 853 00:39:41,337 --> 00:39:44,423 that's a blessing because we can trace it like it's not a problem. 854 00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:48,719 But like for a seeker coming in, it can feel really weird for people to 855 00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:54,141 start asking a lot of personal questions about you and be like, Okay, who are you? 856 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:57,895 There's a name for it, you know, called the Mennonite game, Yes, 857 00:39:57,895 --> 00:39:59,021 and some people really like to play the mennonite game. 858 00:39:59,021 --> 00:40:02,983 The Mennonite game is real. 859 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:03,359 Yeah. 860 00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:05,444 Because like you go to Bible school say or something 861 00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:09,156 and it's, that's practically part of the introduction process. 862 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:11,784 Oh you're so-and-so, I'm so-and-so. 863 00:40:11,784 --> 00:40:12,743 Where are you from? 864 00:40:12,743 --> 00:40:14,829 Who's your, boom? And you just try to. 865 00:40:14,829 --> 00:40:15,204 Yeah. 866 00:40:15,204 --> 00:40:17,456 Do you know so-and-so well, do you know this person? 867 00:40:17,456 --> 00:40:19,417 Oh that church, I visited that church. 868 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:22,211 It's like totally a thing. The network. 869 00:40:22,211 --> 00:40:22,628 Goodness. 870 00:40:22,628 --> 00:40:25,756 Mennonites are like the best at networking. 871 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:29,844 Because of the, community side is so tight and it's very easy, you could go to 872 00:40:30,052 --> 00:40:32,972 about any Mennonite in North America and find a direct connection to them in 873 00:40:32,972 --> 00:40:35,057 no time flat. Somehow, even if it's obscure. 874 00:40:35,057 --> 00:40:37,017 It won't matter. 875 00:40:37,017 --> 00:40:38,436 They will work until they find it. 876 00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:42,273 And no matter how secure, you know, and some people 877 00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:46,277 get terribly annoyed at that and just find it incredibly frustrating. 878 00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:47,862 Some People think it's amazing. 879 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:49,113 It's just, you know, it just is. 880 00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:51,615 It's just it just is. 881 00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:53,784 Which there's a lot of cultures in other countries 882 00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:56,787 where that would be very normal, you know, very typical. 883 00:40:56,871 --> 00:40:58,497 You're known by, you know, your father. 884 00:40:58,497 --> 00:41:01,375 Or your father’s family or whatever. Yeah, exactly. 885 00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:04,462 And what, village you're from or what, country, what 886 00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:07,465 you know, region what all that stuff, what ethnic group. 887 00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:09,091 And that's a simply what's going on here. 888 00:41:09,091 --> 00:41:10,009 And it can be. Yeah. 889 00:41:10,009 --> 00:41:13,471 Very disorienting for a new person coming in and experiencing that. 890 00:41:13,512 --> 00:41:16,432 And for a seeker coming in, it can be 891 00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:18,851 it can make you feel like an outsider because it's like, well, 892 00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:22,313 I don't especially as a new seeker, like the longer 893 00:41:22,313 --> 00:41:25,441 you're there, the more people get to know, like, I have a lot of connections now. 894 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:28,777 So it's really from going to Bible school or, you know, being involved 895 00:41:28,777 --> 00:41:29,778 with different ministries. 896 00:41:29,778 --> 00:41:33,115 Like I have a lot of connections now, so now I can, I can play the game 897 00:41:33,115 --> 00:41:35,576 like I can play. the Mennonite game. 898 00:41:35,576 --> 00:41:39,413 But initially it's like, no, I don't know that person. 899 00:41:39,413 --> 00:41:40,873 And no, I'm not related to them. 900 00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:44,585 Like I'm not related to anybody. Because, 901 00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,253 they'll go by last names for example. 902 00:41:46,253 --> 00:41:49,340 And you didn't really have a mennonite last name at that point so. 903 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:52,343 I mean it’s at least german, but they still struggled with that one like, 904 00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:53,844 Okay. 905 00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:57,097 Yeah, I remember some of that being with your brother sometimes. 906 00:41:57,097 --> 00:42:00,643 And like, they're like, wow, You know, I can't place where. 907 00:42:00,726 --> 00:42:03,812 Yeah, I can’t place you in the Mennonite world, 908 00:42:03,812 --> 00:42:07,525 you know, and again, they can come across or feel very weird. 909 00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:10,611 It can feel isolating. Yeah, Yeah. 910 00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:12,571 Well I just don’t belong because I don't have those connections. 911 00:42:12,571 --> 00:42:14,782 But you don’t have to to fit in. 912 00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:17,785 Like, it's okay to not have those connections. 913 00:42:17,785 --> 00:42:22,039 It's nice when you do it really is, because then you can feel more connected. 914 00:42:22,039 --> 00:42:26,710 But I guess that's another thing of like, Don't let it intimidate you or discourage 915 00:42:26,710 --> 00:42:29,964 you, that you don't have those connections because you simply don't. 916 00:42:29,964 --> 00:42:31,173 And that's okay. 917 00:42:31,173 --> 00:42:33,050 Like it's just another place where you just, like, 918 00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:37,221 accept those difference, need to be willing to accept those differences 919 00:42:37,304 --> 00:42:41,559 and not let it go to you and just be like, I just don't fit in. 920 00:42:41,642 --> 00:42:42,685 Yeah, 921 00:42:42,768 --> 00:42:43,060 Yeah. 922 00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:45,688 I think the takeaways I would have for this episode, 923 00:42:45,688 --> 00:42:49,858 which has been a little more lighthearted, some challenges in their challenges 924 00:42:49,858 --> 00:42:52,861 as far as like ways to challenge 925 00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:55,698 Mennonite background people and ways the challenge seekers 926 00:42:55,698 --> 00:42:59,285 would be to just be, like I said, just be willing to laugh at yourselves, 927 00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:02,454 whether you're a mennonite or seeker, Like there's going to be seekers 928 00:43:02,454 --> 00:43:06,750 who are like not doing things the way that culture says they should 929 00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:10,296 and just like being able to laugh at each other like you're really quirky. 930 00:43:10,296 --> 00:43:13,549 Well, that didn't make sense and just laugh at each other and it's okay. 931 00:43:13,549 --> 00:43:14,967 Like, 932 00:43:14,967 --> 00:43:17,636 yeah, to just not take ourselves too seriously. 933 00:43:17,636 --> 00:43:22,224 We need to give, ourselves time to learn, to know each other and learn how things 934 00:43:22,224 --> 00:43:28,856 are and just giving a lot of grace to each other will go a long way. 935 00:43:28,939 --> 00:43:29,273 Yeah. 936 00:43:29,273 --> 00:43:31,233 Graciousness, humility. 937 00:43:31,233 --> 00:43:35,154 I think these are some pretty foundational things that we should always have, 938 00:43:35,195 --> 00:43:38,657 especially in these cases, because it's easy to think our culture is the best. 939 00:43:38,782 --> 00:43:40,951 You know, everybody should be like us. 940 00:43:40,951 --> 00:43:42,286 That's that's really easy 941 00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:44,580 if you find fault with it, then that just really offends me. 942 00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:48,208 And it's like, Well, what if I'm just genuinely wondering why? 943 00:43:48,250 --> 00:43:51,045 Or confused. Yes, exactly. 944 00:43:51,045 --> 00:43:52,838 Yeah. Those are some really good takeaways. 945 00:43:52,838 --> 00:43:56,884 And yeah, I think this is a lot for all of us to think about whether, 946 00:43:56,967 --> 00:44:00,304 you know, whoever is listening to this, whether you're part of a mennonite church 947 00:44:00,304 --> 00:44:02,598 or you're not, but you're interested in kind of like, 948 00:44:02,598 --> 00:44:04,350 what's it like on that side of things? 949 00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:08,437 And wherever people fall in the spectrum there is, 950 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:09,897 always going to be a cultural element. 951 00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:15,069 Like every church group, Mennonite or not, has their certain ways of doing things, 952 00:44:15,152 --> 00:44:17,905 and yet it's definitely there and it's a thing. 953 00:44:17,905 --> 00:44:18,656 And at least the awareness of it goes a long ways in again, 954 00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:22,368 And at least the awareness of it goes a long ways in again, 955 00:44:22,409 --> 00:44:25,537 being gracious with each other and learning from each other to. 956 00:44:25,537 --> 00:44:27,039 I think is really important. 957 00:44:27,039 --> 00:44:31,168 I think the Mennonite churches have a lot to learn from those that join from. 958 00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:33,337 Having grown up in that and have joined, 959 00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:34,880 I think we have a lot to learn from those people. 960 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,175 So yeah, I just thanks for taking the time to share this. 961 00:44:38,258 --> 00:44:43,764 I will never think about yodeling and accordions the same way ever again, so 962 00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:45,265 I appreciate that. 963 00:44:45,265 --> 00:44:48,769 Is there anything else you would like to to add as we wrap this episode up? 964 00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:51,105 All right. Well, thanks again for coming on the podcast. 965 00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:52,981 I appreciate it Samantha! Yep, it’s been fun. 966 00:44:54,233 --> 00:44:56,819 Thanks for listening to this episode with Samantha. 967 00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:59,154 If you enjoyed this, we did two other episodes with her 968 00:44:59,154 --> 00:45:01,699 that you can find linked in the description below. 969 00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:06,370 You can find all our content over on our website at anabaptistperspectives.org. 970 00:45:06,495 --> 00:45:10,624 We also have a monthly newsletter that you can subscribe to there as well. 971 00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:14,002 Thanks so much for listening and we'll catch you in the next episode.