Cam Hall [00:01:02]:

Amber Lyn, welcome to the Dads Making a Difference podcast. Great to see you today.

Amber Lyn [00:01:06]:

Kim, so great to see you too.

Cam Hall [00:01:08]:

I'm excited, for this conversation because it's not often that I get to bring someone on who wants to have a conversation about their story. People just wanna, like, I wanna share my story, and I wanna push it out there and tell everybody about my thing. And that's not you. You you and I got to connect on a pre call, about a month ago, and and it was fantastic. I just, like I already got pulled into your story. So we're gonna dive into your story. But Yeah. Why don't we start about who are you and, like, why are you here? Like, people hear Amber Venn on the Dads Making a Difference podcast.

Cam Hall [00:01:47]:

Like, why? Like so, yeah, introduce yourself.

Amber Lyn [00:01:51]:

Well, for one, I'm excited to be with another dad who's passionate about his kids and family. Coming from someone that wasn't raised with a dad, it's so nice to see that and and you. And I know we talked a little bit on the pre call too about just your passion behind that, which I hope your listeners will get hear some of that today too as I ask you some questions too.

Cam Hall [00:02:12]:

Yeah. Absolutely.

Amber Lyn [00:02:13]:

But but, yeah, my name is Amberlynn. I am I call peep I tell people I'm kind of an accidental artist. Like, I didn't know I could sing or even write songs. I didn't grow up, in an environment where I was really seen or, for my talents and gifts. I didn't I didn't know. So my dad left when I was young. My mom did the best she could as a single parent, but, she had her own struggles and limitations. So I grew up, yeah, just feeling a bit unseen and not supported.

Amber Lyn [00:02:43]:

So it wasn't until, like, in my twenties, I had a couple dreams where for the first time in my life, I experienced what it been like to be loved by a dad. And I didn't know what I I didn't know what I missed out on until after I had those dreams. So you grow up in an environment where, you know, you don't have a dad. You just don't know the difference. That's all you know. So those those dreams really, opened or revealed, I should say, a wound of abandonment I didn't know I had. And I tell a lot of people, you know, I wrote in a lot of ways to save my life to deal with that pain, and out came a song called a girl's first love. And the song, I swore to myself I'd, like, never share it with anybody.

Amber Lyn [00:03:27]:

Like, I remember sitting in my bedroom. My kids were really young at the time too, and I would be alone while they were taking a nap or something. I'd be working on this song and, like, the chords and things like that. The lyrics came to me really quickly, but it was a healing experience for me. I just remember lots of tears coming down my face when I would, like, write it. And I just I've never experienced that before with music, like, with my own music. I have experienced that with other people's songs for sure, you know, where you have those experiences. And so, yeah, I I again, I swore myself I'd never share it.

Amber Lyn [00:04:00]:

It was a gift to me. I really felt like it was a healing force. And, flash forward to, like, maybe three months later, I got invited to a conference, and they you're supposed to bring a song. They're teaching you how to write, music, basically, write songs and things like that. You're supposed to bring a song. I didn't have the recording, and so I just brought my guitar and asked them if I could play it live in front of the class. So the the teachers were weren't just people who just, like, written songs, which I think is great. You know? Lot there's a lot of writers out there, but these are, like, number one hit writers, like, for some of the in the music industry.

Amber Lyn [00:04:37]:

Some of them have won Grammys. Like, they've really worked at their craft and had some success at it. Okay? So great sources to learn from. Yeah. No pressure. Right. I was definitely nervous. So I asked them if I could play it live.

Amber Lyn [00:04:52]:

And and it was interesting, though, before I asked them when it came to my turn, I heard everybody else's recordings, and I noticed the theme with all of them. Because this conference was a little bit more, like, Christian centered, there's a lot of sort of worship music and about, like, things that they believe in and their their passions. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I just thought, oh my gosh. Like, the song that I brought is not that. So I was already feeling and doubting myself with with feeling this pull to bring this song that maybe I did something wrong after hearing all these songs and I was hearing the judge's feedback. And so, long story short, they said I could play it live. And so I stood up and I played it. And after I played the song, you could literally hear just like a pen drop.

Amber Lyn [00:05:37]:

And I thought, okay. Now I really did something wrong. You know, usually there's some things. I got them applaud or whatever of support, but everyone was quiet. And one of the judges stood up and, in her sweet southern accent, says, y'all are copying each other. This right here, this is authenticity. So they ended up giving me an award of songwriting and excellence for the song. They all voted for it and asked me to play for the entire conference, my song.

Amber Lyn [00:06:07]:

I'd never done an open mic before. Never really been in front of a microphone to sing, let alone a big huge stage with lights and a huge crowd in front of me. So it was really kinda terrifying, but, also, I was really grateful for the opportunity to get on that stage. I shared a little bit about what I'm sharing with you about the dreams and my process with it. And what was really interesting is after I played the song, I knew I'd have some people come up to me who had been abandoned, whether it be daughters or even sons. They've been abandoned too. What I didn't expect was literally a line of dads who came up to me, gave me side hugs, told me that my song inspired them to wanna have better relationships. So it makes me emotional, relationships with their kids.

Amber Lyn [00:06:52]:

And some of those some of those dads were the speakers at the events. They were the musicians and they said, I'm really thinking maybe I need to find a career where I'm not gone so much. Maybe I need to be more in my daughter's life. So it was mind blowing for me. Like, I had the contrast in my dream of what a loving dad was like, but then I'm seeing it, like, face to face with these amazing men, like, loving on me and saying that my song is inspiring them to wanna be better dads, to their kids. And I just thought, full circle redemption there. Like, it can't make this stuff up.

Cam Hall [00:07:29]:

Right? Yeah. So yeah. Well, what was that like for you when you're put in that spot? You have these dads coming up to you, and you reflect on your upbringing, what that looked like. And you really didn't know what it felt like to interact with a father, with a dad, and hear these guys coming to you talking about raising their own kids. What was that like for you?

Amber Lyn [00:07:54]:

Yeah. I mean, like I said, I just felt inspired and, like, hopeful. Like, you know, there there are really caring men like you, Cam, and that are passionate about being dads and passionate about their family. And that to me was just so encouraging to see that. And but, you know, as a survivor who grew up not having that, it did trigger some loss for me of, like, dang. Like, I really did. Like, I feel like I kinda missed out on that. And I do I've done a lot of healing work, like, around my you know, around that wound, but I do kinda still walk with a limp.

Amber Lyn [00:08:27]:

I mean, I think that you're forever changed not having that. I have a hole. You know? I I would say I'm mostly a scar now, but it's still a scar that you see and it does affect me. And but but also, a lot of people know that I can empathize with them who've been abandoned by a parent. So the it's like there's a positive to that also, where I I have more empathy for those that, their orphans like me don't have parents in their lives. Yeah. Or didn't.

Cam Hall [00:08:55]:

How old were you when you said your dad left when you were young?

Amber Lyn [00:09:00]:

Yeah. I don't have I don't know the exact age. I wanna say, like, around four or five, maybe five or six because I remember him a little bit. And I actually ended up writing a a a short book around the stories, one of what I just told you, also a chapter about the dreams, a little more vivid explaining about that. And then I go into detail about me and my dad for the first time, and I met him when I was in my twenties.

Cam Hall [00:09:25]:

Oh, wow.

Amber Lyn [00:09:26]:

So that was kind of crazy, that experience. I wish it was, like, this great positive experience, but when you're dealing with an addict, or someone who struggles with addiction, probably be a better way of putting that. There's no chance of a relationship there. But I did feel like I got my closure, said what I needed to say, and how I found him was crazy. And there's a whole story. I'm sure if we had another hour, I could tell you all that. But yeah.

Cam Hall [00:09:50]:

So you're quite young. It's, like, four or five, six, somewhere in there. You go through growing up with mom. Did you ever, like, feel like, well, I'm really missing out, or were you just like, no. Like, I it's my mom's raising us. Life is okay. Here we go. Like, what were the indicators as you grew where you're like, I'm missing something?

Amber Lyn [00:10:15]:

Yeah. I don't know. I think I think as kids, we always yearn for our parents. Even if they're dysfunctional or if they're not around, you just want your parents. So I think there's always this yearning inside of me to want a dad to you know, some of the lyrics in my song or, to have him tuck me in as, you know, at night, like things like that. That was some of the vivid imagery I had in the dream was those moments that I I missed out on and what it what it was like to be loved by, you know, a healthy male. Like, I didn't even know what it was like to feel a man's hand growing up or anything like that, so I didn't have that contrast. So, yeah, I I definitely felt sad a lot of the times, and and I wish I could say, like, growing up with my mom was just really great.

Amber Lyn [00:11:01]:

It was kinda chaotic. You're growing up single income household. You're moving around a lot. It's dysfunctional, and it's a lot of times, it's scary. It's just a lot you're always afraid. Like, you don't know what's gonna happen next. When's the next meal? I mean, that's kind of the environment that I grew up in. It's kinda crazy and dysfunctional.

Amber Lyn [00:11:19]:

So yeah. It wasn't until those dreams that I really was like, oh, I really missed out. Okay.

Cam Hall [00:11:24]:

Tell tell us about that. Tell us about the dreams. Like, when did this happen? How old were you? Like, this is a fascinating thing for me right now because I I after we spoke last time, I left my office here, and I went for a walk. I I just, like I was going for a walk, had my dog with me, me, and I was thinking about the importance of, like, the things that we dream and what they mean to us because you had shared a little bit with me. I'm like, this is fascinating that this story came out of a dream, which Yes. Through history yeah. Two okay. Two dreams, which Uh-huh.

Cam Hall [00:11:59]:

Through history, people would have called those visions. Right? And so, like, is it a dream or is it a vision or, like, what is it? I'm fascinated by this, Amberlyn. So how

Amber Lyn [00:12:08]:

I don't know.

Cam Hall [00:12:09]:

How how old were you when when you had those dreams?

Amber Lyn [00:12:13]:

I my son was about, I think, a year old or something. So I was in my mid twenties. K.

Cam Hall [00:12:20]:

Yeah. Just

Amber Lyn [00:12:21]:

like Do you dream? Like, do you have vivid dreams? Like, there's dreams. And then there's big dreams where you, like, really experience and you wake up like, what the heck just happened?

Cam Hall [00:12:30]:

Yes. Absolutely. There's I've had, I I actually dream often, which I think at 44 apparently is a rarity. Like, I ask people at work. I'm like, hey. Did you have a dream last night? And they're like, no. I haven't dreamed in a long time. No.

Cam Hall [00:12:44]:

Oh, that's interesting. Because there's the, do you have a dream? Like, are you dreaming of what the or do you have dreams? Right? And I just love the little bit of that surface level. Do you do you have dreams? And I do. I'll tell you some of the most vivid dreams I've had have involved my wife and kids. Positive dreams where my kids are older, and I'm there. And I feel like I'm just, like, observing them from a distance and these, like, really weird situations. But, yeah, I I do. I but I've never had the experience where I've woken up and been like, wow, that's something.

Cam Hall [00:13:23]:

Like, I need to follow through on that. Like, I think in your case, it's pretty amazing.

Amber Lyn [00:13:29]:

Yeah. I definitely experienced some pain. I've woken up I've woken up from dreams before with, you know, just tears down my face. So and and it's interesting because I hear I talk to a lot of females, and this does happen. I think more often for females than it does males for some reason. So it to to even hear that you have dreams and that you remember them, I'm a little, like, surprised. Most guys are like, no. I don't dream.

Amber Lyn [00:13:51]:

I don't or maybe if I do, I don't remember them. You know?

Cam Hall [00:13:54]:

And my wife, Kim, could speak to this. She would be like, we'll be we'll go for walks and we'll have our time together. My kids are 12 and 10. And so, they're fine. If we leave them, we go for a walk. And I said, I I gotta tell you what happened to my dream last night. And I'll, like, explain it. Like, it's a story.

Cam Hall [00:14:09]:

And she's like, are you making this up, or is this actually what happened, like, seventeen hours ago? I'm like, no. Seriously. What do you think it means? I said, I I don't know. You know? She's like, yeah. But, yeah, those vivid dreams are they're quite something. And so I I with the dreams. So did they happen, like, back to back? Was it over time? Did you wake up and you said you're emotional, there's pain, there's hurt? Did you just, like, start writing down? How did you remember this? How did you put them together?

Amber Lyn [00:14:39]:

Yeah. I remember having the dreams pretty back to back. And then the writing I don't know. I feel like the chorus is what just, like, came to me. So the writing process is very interesting. I've I love talking to other songwriters because it it varies. And so and it varies per song. Per person, it's different.

Amber Lyn [00:14:57]:

Per song, it's different. I feel like this one, the the chorus was for daddies are supposed to be a girl's first love, yet that's something many of us girls are dreaming of. That was what I heard. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like, that's that was me. And so when inspiration hits as an artist, and you may know this too, you have to, like, get it down. Like, jot it down as soon as you can because once it comes out, it's gone. So it's gotta land somewhere.

Amber Lyn [00:15:25]:

And so I I just remember writing that. I feel like the verses sort of came like later on as I was processing more about the dreams. And then I met with a friend of mine who is a English teacher. He's a retired, high school English teacher. He was the first, like, guy that I shared the the song with before I went to the conference. And I said, look, I have this song I wanna play for you, but it's very vulnerable, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. And so I I played it for him, the verses and the course that I had so far. And he, again, was, like, also really quiet afterwards.

Amber Lyn [00:15:59]:

And he said, Amber, that's really incredible. He said, but on I'd really love for you to get deeper. Like and so there's this last line of the song where I'm literally talking to my dad. And it says, for instead of daddies are supposed to be girls' first love, yet some that's something many of us girls dreaming of. I actually sing for daddy, you were supposed to be this girl's first love, yet that's something I'm still dreaming of. And I thought that was that line still gets me sometimes when I play it on stages and with people. I don't usually know what's gonna happen. I feel like now I've gone through quite a bit of healing.

Amber Lyn [00:16:36]:

It doesn't get me choked up as much, but it does still creep up and it it causes that emotion to come up because I'm speaking right to him. So I gotta give props to my friend Ken who I dedicated. He's one of the three men I dedicated my book to, for helping me get even more deeper. I, like, hate him, but, like, love him for

Cam Hall [00:16:55]:

that. Yeah. Yeah. You know what

Amber Lyn [00:16:59]:

I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Cam Hall [00:17:01]:

It's amazing the growth that we can have from being uncomfortable, though.

Amber Lyn [00:17:05]:

Yeah. You

Cam Hall [00:17:05]:

know, when you put in that uncomfortable position and Ken challenged you to do that, how it

Amber Lyn [00:17:10]:

Sure.

Cam Hall [00:17:11]:

Kinda freed you up a little bit.

Amber Lyn [00:17:13]:

Well and also now inspiring other people.

Cam Hall [00:17:15]:

Yeah. You know,

Amber Lyn [00:17:16]:

it's them and places I may have had all kinds of people come up to me after I play and from men to women to dads to sons to it all affects them in different ways. And so that that always just blows my mind. Power of music. Right? And Yeah. Authentic sharing in that way.

Cam Hall [00:17:32]:

Yeah. I love that. You know, when you write the song, you're getting your own story out. You're getting that pain out, that sharing out. And as an artist, I'm sure there's, like, this piece that you want to convey, that you wanna share out there that's important to you. But now that you've got songs out there, and it's in the world, and people are hearing it, and dads are hearing it, What now down the road do you hope that men get from hearing that song? What are the messages in it that you hope land with the dad of that little girl?

Amber Lyn [00:18:12]:

Great question. Yeah. I at the end of my book, I do kinda write a message to the dads that have abandoned their kids. And I think one of the things to the ones that have and feel ashamed about that, I just wanna encourage you that it's never too late and that I would've, at any point in my life, would've loved for my dad to have called and apologized or wanted to reconnect. Like, I can't even think of a stage in my life that I wouldn't have wanted that from a little girl to a teen to in my twenties to even today if he was still alive, like, I I would still want that. So if anything, just encouraging, Daz, is never too late. I mean, obviously, you can't make up for that lost time, but you can start now.

Cam Hall [00:18:57]:

Yeah. What about for like, I have a little girl at home. I got a 12 year old daughter. Mhmm. And and I have a son who's I love equally, and they try to get me. Dad, who's your favorite? No. I love you both equally.

Amber Lyn [00:19:09]:

Who's your favorite?

Cam Hall [00:19:10]:

Yeah. They'll they'll they'll ask me that. But it's

Amber Lyn [00:19:12]:

Depending on the day.

Cam Hall [00:19:13]:

That's funny you say that because I did now I'll just say, well, who's your favorite? I'm like, what day? You know? Like, what what time? You know? But but, right now, I have a daughter who's in my house, who's on the brink of becoming a teenager and going through lots of changes in her life. But as a I I think about your son. As a dad who is at home with his daughter, there's still something to be learned and something to be taken away. And so what's your hope for the guys who are raising little girls right now? What do they get out of it? And knowing that they are home and they are present, but there is always this feeling as a dad right now where I'm always like, I can bring something more.

Amber Lyn [00:19:55]:

Yeah. Man, that's a hard one because to me, I just wanna validate the fact that you're there. I mean, there's so many dads out there, Cam, that aren't just showing up and being there and being present for their kids. I think that we tend to underestimate the value of just being there and just being with and listening to her talk about, you know, whatever, even if the story is way longer than it needs to be, I'm sure at times with a girl. But, you know, and and and listening to her and validating her, like, that just goes so far. So if anything, I mean, resting in that what you're doing is enough. The fact that you're just showing up every day and now you're doing a podcast to help inspire other dads. Now you have a daughter on that's been abandoned, and you're hoping it'll encourage them.

Amber Lyn [00:20:41]:

Like, you are doing a lot. And I think that, the dads who are in their kids' lives tend to struggle with seeing if that's enough, and it it is. Yeah.

Cam Hall [00:20:53]:

Thank you. I think that's good. So if you're listening to this right now, guys, you're doing enough. It's okay to wanna improve, and it's called dad's making a difference, but you are making a difference by being there, by being present, and by caring. Oh my gosh. Don't beat yourself up so much, but know that you're there, and that's a good place to be.

Amber Lyn [00:21:14]:

So true. And you're setting up an example for her of what, like, a caring man looks like, just by being present in validating, giving her that hug when the tears, you know, come down. Not trying to fix it. You don't have to fix her situation, but just being with her, it teaches her so much. I wish I woulda had known that. I'd learned that the hard way, not having that contrast. So yeah.

Cam Hall [00:21:38]:

I wanna ask you a question about parenthood. Can I ask you something? Because you mentioned you had kids of your own. Yeah. How many do you have?

Amber Lyn [00:21:47]:

So I have two. Our kids are similar in age. Mine's, 11 and 13. Okay.

Cam Hall [00:21:54]:

So two

Amber Lyn [00:21:54]:

Girls, 11. Boys, 13. Mhmm.

Cam Hall [00:21:57]:

Amazing. What have you taken with you as a parent that you know, we all we all take pieces of our own story into our parenting journey.

Amber Lyn [00:22:09]:

Mhmm.

Cam Hall [00:22:09]:

What pieces of your story have you brought with you into your parenting journey, and which ones have you left out?

Amber Lyn [00:22:16]:

Pieces of my parenting journey. I feel like I've been bit of the cycle breaker in my family. My relationship with my kids, I call it, like, relational parenting. I have shared with them my story, And I know some parents are hesitant about doing that, especially if it's kinda messy. And but I can tell you right now that my kids knowing my story has been really good for them. And so they always wanna know more and tell me about, like, what what that was like for you, mom, and I'm so grateful for you and things like that. So I think I bring my story, and it's it's a place of, like it's it's like bringing my scar. You know? Like, here's my scar, and this is you're telling the story behind the scar, like, how it happened.

Amber Lyn [00:22:59]:

Right? Right. Not the open wounds. Because the open wound, I didn't that's like bleeding all over them, and that's not something it's not their job to patch that up or Band Aid that up. That's our job as adults is to it's to heal. Even though we didn't cause that wound, it's our job to heal. Right? So I think just sharing my story and being really, open about that and then listening to them and their story and their struggles and validating their realities and why I get it. Like, hey. I've been there.

Amber Lyn [00:23:28]:

Like, I get it. You know?

Cam Hall [00:23:30]:

Yeah. Amazing.

Amber Lyn [00:23:31]:

What about you on that one?

Cam Hall [00:23:34]:

Yeah. That's that's a good question. You know, I find that with my daughter, I will share more. I think, I mean, my wife is just like, you just shared a lot about your upbringing that I didn't think you would tell your daughter, who's 12, Cam. She's 12. And I'm like, yeah. But I think it's important for her to know where her dad came from.

Amber Lyn [00:23:56]:

Yes.

Cam Hall [00:23:56]:

And the things that have happened in my life and in my family's life and some of the trauma and not trauma dumping on her, but sharing it in a way that shows her this is why our family is the way our family is and why we care about each other and why presence with each other is important and why I ask you these questions to check-in with you and why I lay next to you in your bed at night and ask you questions about your date. Like, there's there's a reason for why we do things, Maya. Her name's Maya. I said, Maya, there's a reason that your dad does things. And you need to know that I'll always be honest with you. She had, my daughter's pretty active. And so I'll I'll share with you a little side note story. This is one just recently.

Cam Hall [00:24:40]:

Two weeks ago, she had she's a competitive climber, bouldering, lead climbing, crazy stuff. I can't do it. It's heights scare me, and bouldering kills my arms. But she is very good at this. And she had a competition, two weeks ago. And they do these competitions, and they're pretty intense. And there's a lot of pressure and a lot of people watching, and she had a rough day. She I would say she probably feels like she underperformed based on her ability, and she didn't make finals.

Cam Hall [00:25:08]:

And this was devastating because top eight girls made finals, and she didn't make it. And she came home, and I had my own beliefs why the day went the way it did as I observed her and watched her during the day. And, like, we can't interact while she's doing it. Like, we can watch and cheer for her, but you you can't, like, have conversations. And at the end of the day, she she was just, like, laying on her bed, just completely dejected, like, face down. And she wasn't crying, but she just was so disappointed.

Amber Lyn [00:25:36]:

Defeated. Yeah. Yes. Feeling defeated. Yeah.

Cam Hall [00:25:38]:

Yeah. And you know how like a teenage girl, preteen girl could be. She's like, I don't even know why I do this anymore. I'm getting worse. I just need to stop. You know, that type of stuff. And, like, how do you feel that the day went? She's like, I'm disappointed. I'm like, yeah.

Cam Hall [00:25:53]:

I can see that your emotion is disappointment, but you've been thinking about this quite a bit for the last couple hours. How do you feel outside of disappointment? Like, tell me about the day. Can you remember like, go through your climbs with me. What, like, what were you thinking? What would you do? Like, a mistake is an opportunity to learn. And so instead of seeing a mistake and being like, oh, I made a mistake. But, like, oh, there's that mistake. I've done that before. Here's what I've learned from.

Cam Hall [00:26:19]:

And so, like, this whole, like, sports psychology type piece and but just as a dad, like, tell me about your day, ma'am. And she's like, why don't you tell me about my day? And she's like, I said, well, I think you did I think you did well. I I think you worked hard. You always say that. And I said, you didn't let me finish. Like, I think you worked hard, but you know your dad's gonna be honest with you. She said, yeah. And then I told her, I think you didn't you worked hard when you were climbing, but you took too long of gaps.

Cam Hall [00:26:49]:

I think you lost your mojo. So flashing a climb is like when you go from the bottom to the top on your first try, and

Cam Hall [00:26:55]:

it's

Cam Hall [00:26:55]:

the highest score you can get. And then for every attempt, the score goes up. I said, you flashed your first three climbs, and you were rolling. And then you didn't climb, and you waited in line at a different route for thirty five minutes, and you lost it. And you split off from your teammates who were you were all encouraging each other, and I know you that's part of the strategy. But you did it so soon in the competition, which was a two and a half hour climbing window. You did so soon that you isolated yourself from that feeling of team and support. And there's times where you need the team and support until you're ready to, like, move on and try something new.

Cam Hall [00:27:32]:

And you did it too quick, and you sat on the sidelines, and you watched, and you psyched yourself up, and then you tried another climb. You fell off the first time, and you wait another fifteen minutes, and you just lost it. And she's like, that did happen. I don't know why I waited so long. And so you go through that. But Yeah. But at the end of that whole conversation, it was an hour. We went through a lot of stuff.

Cam Hall [00:27:53]:

And I said, Maya, here's what you need to know about your dad. I made a lot of mistakes when I was growing up as a kid, as a teenager, as a young man. And now as a dad, I make mistakes. But I here's what we can learn from the things that we go through, no matter if they're disappointing or they're exciting, is that in that disappointment, there's always something to learn from so that the next time it comes around, not saying we're always gonna be successful, but we'll know how to go through it, and we'll know how to handle it. We can prepare for it, and we can reflect on it. And here's a little bit of some of the and then, of course, she asked, oh, what happened to her? What happened to you? Like, what did you do? And so yeah. And so then I'll share some of that. My son is 10.

Cam Hall [00:28:30]:

He's not ready. My son is my son is the, dad, did you see my gold? Dad, did you see my save? He plays soccer, and then he he plays hockey, and he's doing basketball now. And I'll be like, yeah, buddy. Like, how did you get there? Oh, I don't know. I just kicked the ball and it just went they went in. You know? So not ready. He's but for the late little bit deeper stuff, but at his readiness level, I'll share some stuff with him. And

Amber Lyn [00:28:55]:

Yeah. I know so about my kids too, the need to reframe what failure is and, you know, success and Yeah. Just it is there are I mean, such a hard age. 12, 13, 14. Oh my gosh. I remember being a girl at that age. It's rough. And you're already so insecure cause you're around all these other, you know, kids your teens your age, and it's, like, all of a sudden your eyes are, like, open and you're seeing everyone else and you're comparing yourself.

Amber Lyn [00:29:20]:

So the insecurity level is already so high. So I find myself validating my kids a lot and just reminding them, like, of their qualities, both physically, but emotionally. And I think the validation really goes a long ways too and helps them have that confidence to explore, well, what could have, like, gone wrong here, you know, instead of shaming themselves, which Right. You know, we all do that at times. So Yeah. We all do that. Yeah. It's a hard tough age, but you sound like you you guys had a great, like, memory and moment there together.

Cam Hall [00:29:51]:

Yeah. I I think it was good. You know, like, she hasn't come back to me and be like, dad, that was life changing. But, you know, there's you know, for me going through this conversation, I think that's a healthy thing to do as a parent. And

Amber Lyn [00:30:02]:

Mhmm.

Cam Hall [00:30:03]:

Maybe there's something fun there, a nugget that she'll take from that conversation. I know I learned from it. So Mhmm. Hopefully that she does too.

Amber Lyn [00:30:10]:

Well, and coming from a girl who had to go through that stuff by myself, like, I was in my room alone with those thoughts of, like, you know, feeling down on myself and not good enough. So just to have someone come into her room and be there and be like, oh, you're feeling disappointed? I'm sorry to hear that. Of course. You know? But here's also, what I see, if if you're open to hearing about it, I mean I I mean, to me, I'm like, I never even had that. I was just by myself, like, all the time. So, again, Cam, just showing up and being there, that's amazing. Like, she will remember that that moment.

Cam Hall [00:30:44]:

I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And I think that's affirmation too for the guys listening to this who feel like, you know, I'm working hard. I'm gone most of the day. Maybe I do some stuff at night. I'm not there enough for my kids, but I know that they're there. They're and I know that they're there every moment that they can be there. Because sometimes life life changes, situations change, some people have more time than others.

Cam Hall [00:31:08]:

But as long as the time that you have, you're making it meaningful, that's a good place to start.

Amber Lyn [00:31:12]:

Well, yeah. And then, like you said, you're present. You're you're there. And, I think that the present time, no matter how long it is, is way better than the obligation, like, I gotta do this and be with them. Kids feel whether or not you're with them or not and present. Even if it's, you know, an hour, you know, but then you're gone the next day because you're working x amount of hours, they're gonna remember that hour. And I wish I woulda had at least a couple of those hours, you know, like, I wonder where I would be today. I think about that all the time, having that support and validation from a dad.

Amber Lyn [00:31:47]:

Mhmm.

Cam Hall [00:31:48]:

Yeah. Well, it sounds like you're you've done well, and you've put yourself in a pretty good position now to impact guys and moms too and and being there and in your own family too. And so, you know, this song, you know, you don't have your guitar today. We were gonna have you play it, but maybe you know what? I haven't done this before, and I'm kinda doing this on the fly to you. And we mentioned this before we press record. I think we'll we'll we'll connect again, and I'm gonna have you play the song if you're okay with that.

Amber Lyn [00:32:20]:

Yeah. And,

Cam Hall [00:32:21]:

yeah. So if you're listening to this right now, this is the part of the podcast where we're gonna cut and go to the live, recording of the song, and then, we'll come back.

Amber Lyn [00:32:45]:

To have known what it felt like to hold in Anne's hand. Or to dig our feet be

Cam Hall [00:33:12]:

alright

Amber Lyn [00:33:14]:

Would I have his arms wrapped around me ever so tight?

Cam Hall [00:33:24]:

For You don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know me. You don't

Amber Lyn [00:35:22]:

For daddy you were supposed to be this girl's first love

Cam Hall [00:35:29]:

love

Amber Lyn [00:35:31]:

love. Yeah that's something this girl still dreams of dreams of dreams of

Cam Hall [00:35:57]:

We're back. And, that's the first time we've ever played a song on the Dads Making a Difference podcast. And so, thank you for doing that. Thank you for sharing that. I think it's powerful for guys to hear. I know there's guys who's who are going to hit the thirty second, thirty second, thirty second back on the podcast app they're listening to and listen to it again. And so, thank you for doing that.

Amber Lyn [00:36:21]:

Absolutely. Yeah.

Cam Hall [00:36:23]:

Amberlynn, I'm I'm interested right now. You have so much on the go. You know, the you have the song. There's the book, and we'll share about that in a in a couple of minutes. But, for you, as you continue to grow as a mother and as a professional, as an artist, what's an area right now in your life, an area of growth that you're excited about or diving into?

Amber Lyn [00:36:48]:

Area of growth. You know, I've really done a lot of, like I said, work around working through the pain, like, healing the wounds. Right? It's like it feels like walking through a buzz off sometimes, and and I'm grateful for that. And I think it's productive pain. Like, I'm glad. That's why I'm here today and able to, like, share. And but I really think my next level of growth is fun and enjoying life and not living through, like, a trauma lens of all this pain and stuff because now I have all these, like, healed scars. I I just I wanna enjoy.

Amber Lyn [00:37:23]:

I wanna enjoy my kids more. I wanna get out and do fun things and and get on some more stages and share my story and enjoy these kind of interactions with people like you and hear other people's stories. Like, that's that's that's where I'm at. That's my I'm I'm ready. Like, let's go. That's my new motto right now. Like, let's go. I'm ready.

Cam Hall [00:37:42]:

Let's do this.

Amber Lyn [00:37:42]:

I'm ready. Let's do this. Yeah.

Cam Hall [00:37:44]:

Oh, excellent. Amberlynn, if there's a guy listening to this right now, who wants to download your song, hear your song, so they have it at the ready, or read your book. Where can they learn more about you and get your song, so they can have it with them?

Amber Lyn [00:38:04]:

Sure. So amberlynnspeaks.com is my website, and lynn is spelled with one n. So if you're doing the doubling, you might have a hard time finding me, but amber lynn speaks dot com. And on there is pretty much everything. The book, there's, the the lyric video of the song. But if you just wanna look up the song, it's on many, like, Spotify, any streaming service under Amberlynn, and it's called a Girls First Love.

Cam Hall [00:38:32]:

Girls First Love. Amberlynn, thank you. Thank you for doing this. Appreciate you coming on the podcast. It's not often, that we get to hear someone's story and then hear it through song. And, just thank you. Wish you all the best as you move forward in spreading your message.

Amber Lyn [00:38:47]:

Thank you for having me, Cam. Appreciate it. And thanks for sharing some of your story. It's it's inspiring too.