andrea (00:00)

How can you remain grounded in an unsettling and unsteady process like a divorce? Well, let's find out together on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce.

Today is a first. I am bringing you this mini episode from my backyard. it's not because I burned down my house, although I'll tell you holy balls.

Have I wanted to burn down my house this week? my god. But I didn't. I'm bringing you this episode from my backyard because I was talking about this today in therapy. That the other night I was lying on my couch on my patio. And when I say couch on my patio, I mean like

a patio appropriate couch not like a scene from like Sanford and Sun

where they have like indoor furniture outside. It's not what we're talking about. So I'm lying on my sofa on my patio. And I was looking up at the trees I've got these big beautiful really really old mature trees. And I was just taken

For a moment by how big and strong they all appear. And I really zoned out for a bit, just staring at all these different, species of trees

and you know, the branches and all the different colors of leaves and everything

And when I was talking about it today in therapy, I thought, you know what's so interesting a tree is something so solid and sturdy, and it weathers all of the seasons and it adapts to all of the seasons. So even in the harsh winters like what we get here in Chicago.

The tree is gonna lose all of its leaves, and you might even have a few branches snap in a snowstorm or a heavy rainstorm. But the tree doesn't get taken down completely. It's there. it's grounded because its roots go deep into the earth. So in thinking about that, I thought, okay, well, how can I apply

that to my own life because I can f be really emotionally reactive to my environment, hence wanting to burn my house down.

So let's apply this to somebody going through a divorce. You don't need me to tell you that you're totally overwhelmed and scared, and a divorce process is the opposite of anything that feels safe and steady and secure.

So, my question to you is can you be more like a tree? Where you live in the world, I'm sure you've got a tree near you.

When you can, look at the tree. Look at the size of it. Imagine how old it might be. And think about all of the events that this tree has survived and it's still here. It's adapted.

Like I said before, it might lose leaves, it might lose a branch here and there, but the tree is still there. You're still gonna be here. You might look a little different, you might feel a little different, but it doesn't mean that you will be any less majestic and strong.

Something else that has really helped me lately manage my own stress and anxiety is doing more things outside. And I was never a girl that was into like plants or any kind of horticultury. Is that even a word? Horti horticultury? I don't think so.

But lately I have gotten in to planting things. And I will tell you, that has made me so much more relaxed. I don't know what it is, but it is some cheap therapy. So after you're done hugging your local tree,

go plant something. Even if you live in a space where you can't plant something in your backyard, go to Home Depot or whatever is near you, get a pot.

Get some soil, get some flowers, get a plant, and actually plant the thing yourself and take care of it. Put it by sun, water it every day, This is a good area where you can use AI to ask it, okay, this is what I bought. How do I care for this plant? There's something about caring for a plant that I think is really healing. So for whatever that's worth.

Take that with you for the rest of the week because you're not going to be able to control everything that's going on outside of your world. There are so many things that happen in a divorce process that just feel crazy, unhinged even. But a a tree is hinged. A tree is solid. A tree is steady. ⁓

And when in doubt, be like the tree. Remain rooted and grounded in who you are and what you stand for, and know that you will come out on the other side. Remember, divorce is a marathon and is not a sprint. Not every day is going to be as bad as today might be. And not every day is going to be as good as yesterday might have been.

But you know what? You're gonna get through this. You are going to get through this thing and you are gonna come out the other side. I know it because I did. And yes, I still have stress and anxiety, but I'll tell you something. My stress and anxiety is nothing compared to what it used to be before I got my divorce and when I was going through my divorce. Happiness is waiting there for you.

You just have to get through this thing. You just have to weather the storm. You might lose some leaves. You might lose a branch. But I know that you'll be there tomorrow. And we are here for you every single day to help guide you and support you. And remember, my friends, you have got this. And we have got you.

For more information about your local forest, contact your local forest people, because this is about everything I know about trees.