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Let's start with a fundamental question.

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Do you think that anybody and
everybody can recover from a stuck

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traumatized state simply by accessing
more of their Polyvagal safety state.

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The annoying and short
answer is that it depends.

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I know, I feel the same way.

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I can't stand when people say
that, but that is the answer.

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I'm gonna explain why it's both
yes and no in this episode.

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Context really matters
and so does co regulation.

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So does one's history
of healthy attachments.

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And there's also obstacles to self
regulation, even when you're finding

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success in your self regulation process.

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This is a clip from an open Q& A that
I hold twice a month with my private

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community, the Stuck Knot Collective.

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It's a response to a question
from, from one of my members.

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After this clip, I'm going to share
more information with you about the

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progress of my first book, aptly
named Stuck Not Broken, book one.

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So stick around toward the end to
learn where I'm at with that and a

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potential very close release date.

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My name is Justin Sunseri.

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I'm a therapist, a coach, and the
creator of the Polyvagal  Trauma Relief

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System Welcome to Stuck Not Broken,
where I teach you how to live with

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more calm, confidence, and connection
without Psychobabble or Woo Woo.

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This is, of course, not therapy, nor is it
intended to be a replacement for therapy.

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Oh, one more thing.

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When I, when you hear us talk about BSA
and UDS, that refers to two of my courses

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within my community, my private community.

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It's Building Safety Anchors
and Unstucking Defensive States.

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UDS comes after BSA.

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Okay, that's it.

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Enjoy the episode.

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Okay, so do you think everyone, and
they bolded this, do you think everyone

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could access enough safety via anchors
alone to be able to move on to UDS?

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And there's a follow up question.

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Let's pause there.

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Do you think everyone could access
enough safety via safety anchors alone?

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I wonder if they mean through
the course of the course.

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building safety anchors, or just
generally through safety anchors.

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I don't want to say everyone, I don't
like talking in huge generalities like

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that and say, yes, my system or this
course, or like, I don't want to do that.

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It feels irresponsible to me.

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I do think generally, and the people that
come to here you're, this is like that

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next level, but you're already on the
path of recovery, Self regulation, and

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so I feel comfortable saying if you're
here, like I generally think that yeah.

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Can I promise it?

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No, of course not.

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I wouldn't do that.

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So can, do you think everyone, do
you think someone can access enough

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safety through Safety Anchors
alone to be able to move on to UDS?

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I do think,

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no, I don't think, I
think the answer is no.

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If you are living alone, or truly are
in danger, And you're practicing this

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stuff, like that's fine, but, um, no,
you probably need another level of

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literal safety in the environment.

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So literal safety, safe enough people in
your life, uh, and then practicing the

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stuff in the course, I think generally
it would be helpful, but I guess it

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kind of depends on context, right?

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I don't think anyone in their current
context, depending on what it is,

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can just stumble upon my courses.

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And even though I wrote them for a very
general audience, um, probably not.

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Could someone have enough literal
safety in their life and, you

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know, good connections with
people and do their own work.

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And just kind of keep to themselves.

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The co regulation is important,
even if it's not specifically about,

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hey, here's what I'm going through
and disclosing past stuff, maybe,

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or current level of functioning.

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Just having co regulation in
your life, predictable safety,

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that's kind of necessary, huh?

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Can we move on to direct through to
UDS, which is directly experiencing

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what we have inside of us?

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If we don't have these
other pieces, right?

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If we don't have good enough co regulation
in our life, is, uh, is that possible?

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Actually, Karen, this brings me
back to the question you, I think

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you asked last time, which is.

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Is it possible to do this stuff alone?

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Truly alone?

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Probably not.

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Alone in a environment where you're
like captive and in literal danger?

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No, probably not.

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But alone where, you know, you go to
work and you chit chat with people,

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but you don't feel super connected
and fulfilled, and you go home and

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you're mostly alone, or you have a pet.

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Like, I think you can do a lot
of good with, with just that

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personally be a lot harder probably.

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But if you're surrounded by true friends,
uh, maybe a spouse or partner pets,

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uh, yoga studio, where you go and you
feel connection and you can move around

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a therapist, you know, if you start
stacking these pieces up, your potential

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to get unstuck is probably a lot higher.

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And to benefit from these things.

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Yeah, your, your history of
attachment, your history of

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healthy co regulation growing up,
which leads to self regulation.

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Yeah, that's, that's a big part of this.

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It would give you a leg up, right?

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Okay.

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So someone who's alone and doesn't have
the best co regulation, maybe even a

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little bit below good enough, that person
could still go on Instagram and YouTube.

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They can read books like they can be
on the path, but it's like, they're

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way, way, way, way, way, way behind.

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You know, back compared to someone
who's in therapy and doing yoga

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and doing meditations and doing
retreats, you know, potentially.

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So could that person who's more on
the extreme end of the spectrum, could

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they, uh, set up their home environment
to feel a little bit more safe?

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I think so.

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Can they listen to what's
happening within them?

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I think so.

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Can they add in movement that
might be too much for them?

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I don't know, just this make believe
person, but they can use music maybe, or

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their sensory inputs, like they might.

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Be able to start doing little things
that do open up more capacity for the

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next step or for a connection with a
new pets or a community or something.

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But yeah, it's going to be
a longer process probably.

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Okay.

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So do you think anyone
can access enough safety?

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Through safety anchors alone to be
able to move on to UDS follow up.

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Are there barriers and they
put in parentheses adaptations?

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Are there barriers?

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We might need to be aware of that could
get in the way, and that might need a

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different approach on the extreme end.

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If you're not.

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In a literally safe environment,
like that's, that's the thing

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to address first, right?

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That's extreme, extreme man.

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So I, yeah.

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Are there barriers?

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Yeah.

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So those behavioral adaptations
would, would definitely be a barrier.

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That's true for anybody.

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Just how far you are down that road
to self regulation, the intensity of

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it, the frequency of it, the ability
to sit, to sit with it, to feel it,

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to, I mean, the emotion underneath
it, you know, it's going to increase

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your potential to navigate through it.

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Right.

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Cognitive adaptations or the things
we tell ourselves to keep us stuck.

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That's those are barriers.

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Um, the barriers might be what happens
within you when you do have some success.

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So when you do feel a bit more
safety, all of a sudden you're

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crying or flight activation kicks in.

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That's uh, Good sign, but for
someone who's not prepared for

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that, that could be a barrier.

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I think a big barrier is like, when
you start to improve, it affects

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the people around you and they might
have a reaction to a change in you.

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That's a really good one.

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Thank you for that, Karen.

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I love that one.

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I love seeing, cause I like, I look
at, um, the person I'm working with

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as part of, you know, cog in a machine
like, or gear, and if they refuse to

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turn a certain The other gears have
to get out of the machine or start

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churning along with them, you know?

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And the first thing is
they're going to resist it.

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Yeah.

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I love that one, Karen.

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Thank you.

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Thank you so much for joining
me here in this little clip.

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If you enjoyed this and you want to join
me in a future meetup, just check out the

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Stuck Not Broken total access membership.

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I'll have a link for
you in the description.

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It's justinlmft.com/totalaccess.

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Okay, so the book update.

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I have completed Stuck
Not Broken book one.

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Actually, I have it right here.

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For the YouTube audience, for the
podcast audience, you can't see it sadly.

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But, uh, here it is.

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It's in its printed version.

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It is the, uh, What do they call
this the author proof so it says

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not for resale across the you know
Thick banner across the cover.

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So it's just it's a proof for me to see
did everything come out the way that

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it's supposed to and the answer is no It
didn't there are some typographic errors.

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I'll show you actually I'll show
some images on the YouTube video.

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I'll show you some images of
What, it didn't come out right.

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I think I have it fixed and I have
uploaded the new manuscript to Amazon

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And I am waiting on the next artist
proof to make sure that it is fixed

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And as long as it's fixed, then I'm
pretty much putting it out for sale.

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Oddly Amazon has no pre sale options.

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So basically once it's available,
I'm gonna announce it to you and

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that is the time to buy the book.

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To make sure that you know exactly when
the book is coming out on day one, make

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sure you're on my email list because
I'll, um, announce it to my email

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list first and then also in podcast
episodes and in my private community.

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00:10:02,064 --> 00:10:05,364
But the email list is probably the
first, first place that I'm going

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to announce that it's available.

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I'm expecting mid July.

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So as long as everything is right where
it needs to be and there's no typographic

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errors, mid July, this thing should
be available for purchase, finally.

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I'll have a link for you in the
description to sign up for my email

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00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,659
list, and that link is actually going
to take you to sign up for the email

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00:10:27,659 --> 00:10:32,184
list, but also it will give you access to
StuckNautBot, which is an AI that I made.

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00:10:32,184 --> 00:10:36,739
It's the companion, official companion
AI for the Stuck Not Broken podcast.

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00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:40,169
I made it so that you could ask it
questions about, you know, Polyvagal

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00:10:40,169 --> 00:10:44,469
theory and trauma recovery and all
kind of anything that I talk about here

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StucknautBot can chit chat with you about
so sign up for the email list You'll

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00:10:49,979 --> 00:10:53,869
know exactly when the books coming out
and you'll get access to StucknautBot.

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00:10:53,889 --> 00:10:54,369
That is it.

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00:10:54,369 --> 00:10:56,879
Thank you so much for listening
I hope this has been a helpful

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resource for you in your trauma
recovery or self development journey.

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00:11:02,309 --> 00:11:02,599
Bye.

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00:11:02,649 --> 00:11:06,409
This podcast is not therapy,
not intended to be therapy or

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00:11:06,409 --> 00:11:08,069
be a replacement for therapy.

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00:11:08,949 --> 00:11:12,299
Nothing in this creates or indicates
a therapeutic relationship.

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00:11:13,159 --> 00:11:16,809
Please consult with your therapist or
seek for one in your area if you are

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00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,819
experiencing mental health symptoms.

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00:11:19,714 --> 00:11:23,314
Nothing in this podcast should be
construed to be specific life advice.

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It is for educational and
entertainment purposes only.

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More resources are available in
the description of this episode

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and in the footer of justinlmft.

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00:11:33,634 --> 00:11:34,034
com.