World's collide podcast features music production and mixing tips for independent artists

>> Marc: Hey, worlds Collide podcast fans. It's Mark here from the inside the mix podcast. Follow me or find out more on Apple Podcasts. Just search for inside the mix music production and mixing tips for music producers and independent artists. You're listening to the world's collide podcast, and here's your host, Victoria.

This episode of Worlds Collide is about moving abroad

>> Viktoria: Hi, and welcome to a new episode of Worlds Collide, the podcast about moving abroad. And I'm your host, Victoria. And I want to say that I appreciate so much that you're here today and listen to my podcast. So, first things first. I just wanted to say that if you really like my podcast, then why don't you push the follow button in the corner of your app, and then you will always get a notification when a new episode drops. Also, if this is not too much to ask for, if you want, why don't you give my podcast a five star, rating wherever you listen to it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify? That would help immensely to get a bigger audience. And since this episode is about Germany, I just wanted to tell you a little bit about this blog I contributed to. So, it's called Germany Travel blog, and I contributed a little bit about the food part. So it's the best traditional german foods revealed by 25 german bloggers. Well, I'm not a blogger, but my family runs a restaurant in Germany, so I just gave them a little bit of information about foods that you really should try. And you will find the link to this in my show notes. Again, it's called the Germany travel blog by the wonderful Minooka.

Stephanie from England moved to Germany and struggles with adjusting

Okay, and now to this week's episode. My guest is Steph or Steffi. Stephanie. I'm not really sure how to pronounce it, because she's from England, and she moved to Germany, to Bavaria. So that's in the south. So we talk a lot about the things that she was struggling with, what was particularly hard for her in the beginning, or, like, still. So if you are somebody who is also struggling with a lot of things because you moved to a new place, then I think you will find some comfort in this episode. Because, of course, it's not always just having a good time. Things are hard to adjust to. But also, I want to say that this episode is not just negative, it is also good. You know, it has a lot of things that she really likes and what she really appreciates. So, yeah, definitely wait for this interview. And I also just wanted to give you a quick FYI, because Sarah from a few episodes comes up in this talk. So if you want to hear more, just go back, like, three episodes. It's Sarah from Germany to London, and she talks more about, like, how to make friends abroad. Here is Stephen.

So my guest today is Stephanie. How are you today, Stephanie

>> Viktoria: So my guest today is Stephanie. hi, Stephanie. Welcome to my podcast. How are you today? Hi.

>> Steph Montague: I'm good, thank you. How are you?

>> Viktoria: I'm good, too. Thanks for being here.

>> Steph: No worries.

You've been living in Bavaria in Germany since 2019

>> Speaker C: So, first question. Where are you from?

>> Speaker D: yeah, so I am from a small, city in England, originally called Hereford. it's on the border between England and Wales, so it's kind of in the middle of nowhere. but I've been living, in Bavaria in Germany since 2019, so about four and a half years now.

>> Speaker C: Okay. In, Bavaria in Germany. Ah, so close to the alps a little bit.

>> Speaker D: So I live, to be precise, I live in Augsburg, so it's kind of in the middle of Bavaria, I guess. So we're about an hour from the alps, give or take, depending on traffic. Yeah.

>> Speaker C: Close to Munich.

>> Speaker D: Yeah, about 45 minutes from close, yeah.

>> Speaker E: Yes.

>> Speaker C: So what brought you there?

>> Speaker D: so actually, it was my boyfriend, my partner. He got this opportunity, ah, to come to Germany, for a contract work position. Neither of us had ever lived abroad before. he in particular hadn't really done much traveling before. And we were kind of just at a point, like, I was at a point in my job where I either needed to quit or be promoted. I was at, like, a bit of a crossroads with where I was going. So we kind of went, okay, let's do it. If we don't do it now, we may never get the chance to do it again. M so we just went, okay. And then we just gave up our house and moved, to Germany with, the intention of being here for, I don't know, four to six months as a kind of experience. Yeah. And as I said, almost five years later, and we're still here, and,

>> Speaker C: So do you remember, how was your process, when you first decided, hey, maybe we can move to Germany? And then that you actually did.

>> Speaker D: Okay. So, I don't really do anything by halves, so when my boyfriend said, yeah, okay, I'll come try out the job, he came. They flew him over for an interview, for the job. And he did. He came for a week by himself. He flew back to England and said, yeah, I really like it. I think I'm going to take the job. At that point, he was self employed in England, so he did not have to give any notice, period. Nothing. There was no long drawn out, kind of admin thing to do. so we had six weeks between saying yes and moving. So it was a really, really fast thing. And in that time we had to find an apartment. I was trying to look for jobs. I had never really. I'd done a bit of german way back in school but I actually took French. I apologize for my exams. and so I had to start learning german and all of this kind of stuff. It was chaos for six weeks. yeah.

How easy is renting in the UK compared to Germany or France

>> Speaker C: And how is it in England? So I guess you rented.

>> Speaker D: We were renting, yeah.

>> Speaker C: What is the process there? Like how much notice do you have to give?

>> Speaker D: I think it's a little bit easier in the UK than in Germany. So we only had to give one month notice.

>> Speaker C: Oh, okay. So you were on time on that. So yeah.

>> Speaker D: Super, super quick. And luckily we had a really great landlady in the UK and she was really like we were renting directly through her instead of through like an agency or something. So again it was very short chain to go through that was

>> Speaker C: An easy part and that was great.

First impressions when moving to Bavaria were that it's beautiful

and then how was your first reaction when you got there?

>> Speaker D: First reactions were oh my God, this place is beautiful. And I do think we possibly got spoiled. Neither of us had ever been to Germany at all before so I never like had no idea what to expect apart from the cliches of german people knew. and I guess to some extent moving to Bavaria probably fulfilled those cliches because in my head like german people were lederhosen and dirndls and pretzels and beer and you come to Bavaria and it's kind of quite similar to that. but yeah, I mean yeah. First impressions were that it's just, it's a beautiful place and I mean Bavaria has, there's a lot of money in Bavaria. I think it's a very rich state and you can kind of see they keep, they preserve a lot of the buildings really, really well. And yeah it's just, it's beautiful.

>> Speaker C: Nice architecture.

>> Speaker D: The

>> Speaker C: I don't know what do you call it, those houses, the ones with I mean I don't even know what kind of buildings there are. Those. The ones with The black beams outside?

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: So in, I mean in England I guess we would just always refer to them as like alpine houses.

>> Speaker C: Alpine houses, yeah.

>> Speaker D: Because that's the image you associate like them being in the mountains and stuff.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

So how was your then, your process of settling in Germany

So how was your then, your process of settling? Settling in?

>> Speaker D: Yeah, we had a relatively easy time of it. I think. and also that was part of the reason that we made when we made the decision. This was also part of the reason is that, a few years prior to that, ah, the people of Britain had voted for Brexit.

>> Speaker C: Right.

>> Speaker D: I was not one of those people. I voted to remain in the EU. and then it hadn't actually gone through. So it was due to go through, I think it eventually went through in 2021 or something like that.

>> Speaker C: Do you remember all these votes? And you went through so many prime ministers amendments.

>> Speaker D: Too many prime ministers. And so we said, okay, if we go now, we can go. And we're still European Union citizens. So we had not that much paperwork or admin stuff to go through. We had no visas. right, yeah, nothing like that. So, it was super easy. And settling in was, definitely difficult, I think, in Germany, just because, first of all, it was the first time I ever lived abroad. and it's a very. It's, a country that relies so much on bureaucracy and admin and doing it in person as well.

>> Speaker C: Right. And, did you. I'm, just sorry to interrupt, but did your boyfriend's work provide an apartment? In the beginning? Oh, so you had to. Where did you stay in the beginning?

>> Speaker D: So, again, I think, I'm constantly grateful for how privileged and lucky we got. the person who moved my boyfriend or who suggested this job to my boyfriend, his best friend, lives just. They're our neighbors, basically. They have a house in the building, next door. And, his wife is a freelance journalist, so she sort of knows everybody and kind of knows what's going on in town. And she had heard that there was this apartment right next to them that had come up for rent. It was available. Luckily, the guy is so kind, so lovely. Didn't mind renting to foreigners at all. and actually, between our landlord and my neighbour, they took us through the entire process of the Anmeldung and, everything they helped us do. Everything. Okay, the registry, that is not a common experience for people that moved to Germany, I don't think.

>> Speaker C: Well, it depends probably where you're from. Sorry, but it's true. so they helped you with this, So you found a place. Yeah, and everything. And then. So your boyfriend. I'm so used to saying husband, sorry. But your boyfriend then, he had a work right away. What about you?

>> Speaker D: I did not. And that was very difficult for me because that was the first time I started working when I was 14, not full time, but I always had I had a job in a pub, in a bar and stuff, where I would be washing up and stuff after school. and then even at university I was still working because in the UK we have such high student fees. Not as high as the states, I don't think, but still, it's expensive. and then I went straight from university into full time work. And then I suddenly had, I think it was six months total where I was unemployed.

>> Speaker E: uh-huh.

>> Speaker D: That was hard.

>> Speaker C: That was hard. Like, it's total life changing. I mean, this moment, it's like, what do you do with all this free time?

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: And especially, I think I'm m so fiercely independent as a person. It was the first time I ever relied on somebody else's money to support me and that I really did not like that. I'm stubborn and I don't like other people doing stuff for me.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, I understand that.

You didn't speak any German when you first moved to Germany

So what was then your process of finding work?

>> Speaker D: So I applied to, I immediately started looking for work even before we moved here. The problem was, I didn't speak any German.

>> Speaker C: Right. Okay.

>> Speaker D: And at that time, unless you lived really in Berlin, Hamburg, maybe Frankfurt, somewhere like that. Yeah.

>> Speaker C: You need German.

>> Speaker D: You needed German. And I understood that to some extent. and of course I immediately threw myself into german classes and learning German. but it was still difficult. So I applied to over 200 jobs. I think it was, I got three interviews, if I remember correctly.

>> Speaker D: And not, a single job offer. From those interviews, what happened was, my neighbor, again, the freelance journalist, happened to be interviewing the CEO of a company, a local company, that CEO. She was also a refugee when she first moved to Germany as a child. She was very, supportive of finding work for foreigners and kind of supporting where they could. And it just so happened that she had acquired a smaller company who wanted to be kind of the international branch of her company.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Speaker D: So they needed somebody who spoke English to deal with the international clients and, also the employees and everything. so again, I got super lucky and she offered me a position and that was how I ended up getting a job.

>> Speaker C: Oh, nice. So you were lucky and it all worked out.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: Are you still with them?

>> Speaker D: I'm not, no. so I'm now on my fourth job, I think, here.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Speaker D: No, third job here.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Speaker D: so I changed. So I was kind of just doing, yeah, admony pieces for them. I had a lot of free time still, especially during COVID because I went on too short working time. and my boyfriend worked away at that point because he also moved on and found a different job. He was working away during the week. So I really did a lot of self discovery, during that period and figured out what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. And I knew that I wanted to move into kind of a more creative digital role, social media, marketing, writing. What I always really wanted to do would be to be a writer. So I did a lot, I put a lot of work into that. And then I eventually found a role again. The role, when I got offered it was from an Instagram friend, a girl. To this day, I've still never met her. She is an american living in Hamburg, and she was working for an agency at that time and said, hey, we're looking, come join us, kind of thing. but actually my original boss was super understanding, super kind. He understood, everything. and the CEO also understood that even now, whenever I see them, I see them quite often in the street. We stop, we say hello, we have a chat. Yeah, it was, really a really lovely way. And I still, you know, if anyone's ever looking for jobs, I was happy to recommend them as a company to go, to go work for.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. Okay, so you left in good terms?

>> Speaker D: Absolutely, yeah.

>> Speaker C: And so how is your german now?

>> Speaker D: it got very good, I would say. Well, I was taking b two level classes at one point. but the problem is the last two jobs that I've had have been in very international environments. Okay, so English, the working language is English, and often the client language is also English. And that's not a problem. Obviously, that's great for me. I'm a native english speaker, but for my german skills, yeah, it means the only chances I really get to speak English is like when I go to the supermarket or, yeah, I go out in the street and just see people or go to restaurants. So it's very basic level, I would say my understanding of German is far, far higher than my speaking level.

>> Speaker C: okay. But are you, confident?

>> Speaker D: I'm confident, and once I get into it, I actually, last year, did a trade show, for the current company that I work for, and that was almost entirely in German. And I was terrified to start with, but after, after a couple of hours of hearing it constantly and having to speak it because people didn't speak English, it comes back when you are thrown into an environment where you have no other option to speak, a new language or a second language, then, somehow it just comes out.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. And what always helps me, at least just a little drink, you know? Exactly. Confidence. No, I don't care if I make a mistake, I just talk. Yeah.

How do people react to you being from England in small towns

So was it a town? Were you from in England? About the same size as Augsburg.

>> Speaker D: It's much m smaller. So Augsburg, so I live. I actually live, people who are from Augsburg will hate me, because I always say I'm from Augsburg, but I actually live in a small town just outside of Augsburg. I spend most of my time in Augsburg, as a city. So I think Augsburg is about 250,000 people, I think. but Hereford, where I'm from, when I left, was about 50 or 60,000 people. Really small city.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, really small. And so how do people where you are now, react to you being from England?

>> Speaker D: I have to say it's mostly good. rarely, rarely do I get any. People react in a kind of a negative way. yeah, people are so all of our neighbors and the local people are really warm and friendly, and really encouraging as well. The, staff in our local supermarket, they've kind of seen us grow from when we first moved here. And they always. Whenever I see them, whenever I go to the supermarket, they always compliment me, oh, your germans getting better?

>> Speaker E: And.

>> Speaker D: Oh, yeah, it's great.

>> Speaker C: I mean, you're well known in a small town, right?

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: Oh, yeah, they're the english people. Exactly, yeah. Yeah.

What are, for you, the main differences between Germany and England

What are, for you, the main differences?

>> Speaker D: I think the culture. The culture is in some ways very similar, but in a lot of ways, really not. And, for me, I guess I really like the slower pace of life here, and I don't know if that is a particularly bavarian thing, because in my old job, I had to go to Berlin about once a month, and I love Berlin. I fell in love with the city the second I stepped off the train. M but I would never live there. It's one of those places where I love going back, and I love being there for a few days, but, I'm very happy in small town Bavaria. But, yeah, I find the pace of life much slower. Other differences, I think, the language, the working culture, I think, is generally much more formal. But I am seeing that change as we, over the past five years since living here. more and more startups are coming here. English is becoming much more ingrained in working life now, and it's becoming less formal.

>> Speaker C: And do you, in England, do you refer to the people you work with as, like, mister or misses or with her first name, like, in America.

>> Speaker D: Always first name, yeah.

>> Speaker C: Because in Germany, it's like Frau Schmidt, even if she's like the same age as you are, right?

>> Speaker D: Yes, yeah, exactly. And that took a long time to get used to being called kind, of misses Montague, by everybody, people on the same level as me, by my boss, yeah, by everyone. And that took a while because in England, yeah, it's always, always first name.

>> Speaker C: And for you to, refer to the other people as frau de hair.

>> Speaker E: Yeah, yeah.

>> Speaker D: That was also, quite like to call them quite strange as well. but I kind of, to some extent, I do quite like it. For example, in general, when you're talking to, like my neighbor, when I talk to my neighbors, most of them are older than me, by quite some years, I would say. and it's nice because it's a sign of respect, I think, in that sense, like a sign of respecting your elders kind of thing, by referring to them by mister or misses, although they now insist that I call them by their first names. now we've been here a little while, but yeah, instead of going straight into that informal friendliness straight away, it takes a little while to build up with germans, I think.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I like it, the first names, but like, for strangers, I get it, you know, for like people you don't really know or for like your boss or somebody, but for example, like somebody who works right beside you, your level, your age. Yeah, I don't know. I feel I'm like always, like, I don't know what to say, you know, I'm confused.

>> Speaker D: Yeah, yeah.

What do you miss most about England after moving to Germany

>> Speaker C: And what do you miss from, from back home?

>> Speaker D: I miss my friends. probably the most. I miss. I'm slightly nostalgic, I guess, for the life that I left. a little bit. everything was easier in England.

>> Speaker C: and why would you say that?

>> Speaker D: Because of the language, or of course the other language. It was my native tongue and everybody spoke it. I go up and down about bureaucracy because I think in Germany it is more bureaucratic. but I don't think there's necessarily more to do in some senses. In England, if you're self employed, you still have to do a tax return or you can still do one if you're employed and you want to get some money back from the government, and you still have to go through the same process of filling in all the forms and proving how much money you earned. And that's similar in Germany. There's just, I think, more scary letters in Germany. from the Finnsampt.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.

>> Speaker D: but I think, yeah, obviously the language, and just when you grow up, when you're born and raised in a place, you kind of just know how stuff works and you know what you can do and what you can't do. so, of course, sometimes I wish, not wish, but I just miss that, that kind of life. but I also think I moved at a really weird age. I think I moved when I was 26. Okay. and, so I'm now 31. And, when you're 26, I feel like those few years between, like, 25 and 30 are really, like, pivotal, aging years. They really, I don't know. A lot of work happens in those few years, I think. And then, on top of that, I moved to a new country and learned a new language. And on top of that, we had a global pandemic in the middle. And so I often, like, think, like, now, I think, am I integrating into Germany, or am I getting older? Or is it because of the pandemic that I've changed my manners and the way that I am? And I'm, sometimes a bit confused as to do I miss it, or am I just growing older?

>> Speaker C: Right. And. But also, I mean, you don't know how your life would be back in England if you were there right now, you know, because, like, the pandemic would have happened. And then also, as you said, like, you were not happy in your job, so maybe that would have caused, like, some uncertainty too.

>> Speaker D: Well, funnily enough, so I was on the verge of quitting my full time job back in England to become a full time personal trainer and fitness instructor.

>> Speaker E: Ah.

>> Speaker C: okay.

>> Speaker D: And, had I done that in the September 2019? And then the pandemic hit, of course, the gyms were the first place to close down. And I sometimes think, God, if I had done that, I would have just not had a job, not been able to pay rent, not had anything.

>> Speaker C: Right. Yeah. Were you ever, like, wondering, doing that after the pandemic in Germany?

>> Speaker D: I, wasn't until recently, so I kind of stopped doing fitness. I put on a lot of weight when I moved to Germany. the pretzels and beer got to me.

>> Speaker C: The pretzels and beer.

>> Speaker E: Okay.

>> Speaker C: I was like, why? Because of the pandemic? Maybe because nobody went out or. Okay, pretzels and beer.

>> Speaker D: I think partly that. I think, yeah, there was. I had. I suffered a lot with mental health during the pandemic and after. And there were a lot of factors that went into that. But, also because when we moved to Germany. I was like, okay, I want to try everything. And I fell in love with the buttebrezer. and beer.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: I mean, and it happens. Happens like carbs. Exactly.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: But it is good. I mean, the pretzels. Yes, I love them, too.

>> Speaker D: Oh, so good.

>> Speaker C: A lot of butter. Yes.

I really like that most places are closed on a Sunday in Germany

So what else do you really like, though, in Germany?

>> Speaker D: I really like that most places are closed on a Sunday.

>> Speaker C: Oh, wait, so you in England have the stores open on Sundays?

>> Speaker D: Yes. Yeah.

>> Speaker C: I'm never sure because, like, for me, like, in Europe in general, are all the closed stores closed on Sunday? Just because, like, I'm so used to it. So I just always assume if in Germany, are the stores closed, they are everywhere else in Europe closed.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: well, actually, I remember it was in the late, mid to late nineties, so the stores used to be closed on Sundays, and then it was. Yeah, when I was a kid, it was a big deal. They started opening on Sundays, and to begin with, I think it was like 4 hours on a Sunday they were open. And then it just gradually we've gone more and more of the way of the US, to where they're just kind of open all day now.

>> Speaker C: All the time.

>> Speaker D: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: and I remember, like, when the stores started to open longer on a Saturday, because when I was a kid, the stores in Germany, they were closed, or they, they were open until, like, one or 02:00 p.m.. Yeah, on Saturdays, and then it was a big deal when they opened until 06:00 p.m.. Ah.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: And that's, what's funny is, in the small town that I live in, the stores on a Saturday are still only open until lunchtime. and then everything closes. But in Augsburg, they're open. Yeah, longer. It's a bigger city, small stores.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, I bet.

>> Speaker D: Yeah. So I actually really like that. And that's. I know, especially with people that come from the US to move to Germany, they really struggle with, that adjustment.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, I bet.

>> Speaker D: but I. It's kind of. It forces you. It's a day where you're like, okay, well, I have to go see my friends and socialize or just relax and rest my brain or my body and just do things for me, spend time with family, all of this kind of stuff.

>> Speaker E: It's.

>> Speaker D: I really like.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, you kind of don't stress about your errands. Yeah.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: So what do you usually do on Sundays?

>> Speaker D: varies. I usually like to go for a walk, or a hike. sometimes we go my boyfriend is a huge motorsport fan. and m by default. so am I now. I never intended to be, but m we've been together for twelve or 13 years now. so it's just kind of ended up being part of my life as well. so sometimes we will go and find a, rally event or a hill climb or some kind of race is happening.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, but you do, like, fun things on Sundays. And, I mean, also the cafes are open, so you can go out and see friends and go get a nice cafe.

>> Speaker D: Yeah, exactly.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: I saw a, friend of mine who, she lives in the city. She's also English, actually, but also lives here. And we started last year on a Sunday. We would meet each other, we would go for a long run, and then we would go get breakfast together afterwards. And that was really just most of Sunday, how I spent it, and I really loved that.

>> Speaker C: That sounds lovely. I mean, that's a great way of spending our time.

How was it then for you to make friends in Germany? It was difficult

How was it then for you to make friends?

>> Speaker D: It was hard.

>> Speaker C: Oh, yeah.

>> Speaker D: especially with the pandemic, when the pandemic kind of came about. so making friends online was very easy for me. And I said, to you that I have lots of friends that I made on Instagram when I first moved here. And, we really had this connection and actually, a lot of those I've gotten to meet in real life.

>> Speaker D: which is amazing.

>> Speaker D: but, yeah, to actually make friends here was difficult. We had our german neighbors who. Who were very good with us and are still. We're still very good friends with them. but there is a kind of slight age gap. Not a huge age gap, I think ten to 15 years, but.

>> Speaker C: Okay, but that is an age gap.

>> Speaker D: They are also married and they have a kid and so there is, like, just slightly different priorities, I guess, that they have in their lives than we have in ours. but actually, it was my friend Beth, who's the other English, girl that I know here. She's much more outgoing than I am and she sort of harassed me on Instagram until I went for a walk with her one day. And then from her, I managed to meet, a lot more people in Augsburg. And now I have this really great group of international friends. most of us are foreigners living here, but, there are a few Germans as well, who are, you know, kind of internationally minded german people. All their partners are foreign as well. And so, yeah, we have a really great group of, people now.

>> Speaker C: Okay, so you just met, like, the right person who introduced you to more. Yeah, yeah, that is great. Yeah, my last interview and hasn't, like, streamed yet, but, she was a german girl and she moved to England, but she's a friendship coach.

>> Speaker D: Ah, Sarah.

>> Speaker C: Because. Oh, you know her. Yeah.

>> Speaker D: Also an Instagram pal.

>> Speaker C: Oh, ah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I just talked to her like, the other day and. Okay, so I was like, okay, so she has great tips. yeah, so she said, like, you don't always need to, you don't necessarily need, like, a person from abroad to become your friend because those people always move away really fast.

>> Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, that's true. I think, there are a few of us that are really good friends. lots of them have already been here for ten years, eleven years, and, or our marriage to Germans, and that's how they ended up here. So it's.

>> Speaker C: I see. So they stay. It's not that they're gonna move away.

>> Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, but I, am trying to have more german friends.

>> Speaker C: I know, but I am sure this is not as easy. Especially, like, I don't know, like, maybe like a language barrier. Is there the language barrier?

>> Speaker D: Somewhat. although I think most especially younger Germans these days do speak relatively good English. Even if they say they don't, that's a very common theme. They'll say they speak a little bit of English and then it's like, better than mine. but, I think just in general, Germans are tougher cookies to crack. I can't remember where I read it, whether it was online or in a book. I've just finished reading a book called the culture map, which is about kind of, the international relationships at work. But somebody said that Germans are like coconuts. So you have this kind of hard shell and you have to tap through, but then once you get in there, once you get inside, it's, you know, gooey and lovely and. Yeah, they'll be your friend for life. so that is difficult, but I trying.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, no, I understand. It's like, yeah, I mean, because I always like, compare, it to making friends here or just like, having a conversation with, like, a stranger in Germany. I feel like this is not possible. I mean, there is not like small talk, but like, if somebody, for example, you meet somebody at the bar and you get along and whatever, you have, like, a nice conversation, you become friends. And here it's like, whatever you talk to anybody, have like, a nice conversation. But, then, like, you're still not friends. Like, you're not gonna hang out or anything.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: And that's funnily enough, that's also one of the things that was in this book. I was just reading that. Yeah, in the States and I think in the UK to some extent, you can have really, seemingly like amazing, friendly conversations with people, but then that doesn't mean that you're friends with them. And I find that quite nice about the Germans is that when they, when they, they're honest. Right. And they're direct and so once you become friends with them, yeah, that's really them really saying that they like you and really wanting to be part of your life and then really making an effort.

>> Speaker C: Exactly. I think so too, because, for me, this was like here I was like, I had a nice conversation, of course, this, and then like, who are you? And, what is something that is hard for you to get used to?

>> Speaker D: I think the language. Yeah, the language was probably, I mean, the language and the bureaucracy. just that things take longer here in terms of the bureaucracy. I don't mind so much having to go and see a person. It would be amazing if everything was digital. And I think that's probably the most complained about thing, not just by, immigrants here, but also by Germans themselves.

>> Speaker C: and the german media.

>> Speaker D: Exactly.

>> Speaker C: and that you still use faxes this year.

>> Speaker D: They are phasing them out. I believe it was in the news at the end of last year. But yeah, I had to learn to use a fax machine when I moved to Germany. I never, I was born m born in 1992, so I just missed like the fax era. I remember dial up Internet. but really, I grew up with the Internet. So, yeah, when I first moved here, I had to learn how to use a fax machine.

>> Speaker C: So complicated. Why? And then also, like, why, why is like a fax, like an official document or it's like, okay, acceptable, but like a whatever emailed photocopy is not.

My favorite german accent is the Hamburg accent

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: Or, my favorite is. So our, where you go register the car, our office from there. Last year they went digital. and by that they mean that you can download a PDF form from their website, but you still have to print it off and take it to the office. and that for them was going digital.

>> Speaker C: Oh, wow. Oh my God. I mean, honestly, like, at this time, I feel this is kind of embarrassing.

>> Speaker D: but it's something, I think it's like just a running, like, it is annoying, but it's just a running gag now. And I think we just know and people that have been here for a little bit now, you just know that that's just how it is. That's Germany. And. I know, but, I mean, it would be nice to.

>> Speaker C: I mean, I think, like, all the people that are used to it, they're, like, now at retiring age.

>> Speaker D: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: So I feel like everybody else in the workforce or, like, who has a saying in whatever politics, they should make a bigger m effort of whatever, driving it forward.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: yeah, I think so. I think so. yeah, but I think the language is. For me, the language was particularly, or is always particularly difficult, because it is somewhat similar. So English is a germanic language, and there are lots of words that look the same, but maybe pronounced slightly differently or, these false friend words. And, a good example, actually. I'm having a lot of work done on my jaw right now, so I had surgery at the beginning of the year, and I have, braces put on in a few weeks time. So I have my orthodontist. He speaks fluent English. but I told him I want to speak more German, so I want to try harder. So last time I was there, we were talking German with each other, but I tried to tell him that I was getting better or the pain was going quickly. and I said, yeah, dasgate fast, because in m my head, it goes fast, which means quickly in English, but obviously in German, it means, like, almost. Luckily, he knew what I meant and we could laugh about it. but, yeah, sometimes things like that really trip me up.

>> Speaker C: And, what about the accent? Because the people or the area has, like, a strong accent.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: Funnily enough, it's. Now I understand it now mostly, I think sometimes you get older, people from Augsburg, where the accent is particularly thick. but now I really. I'm getting much better with that. With the Augsburg accent, the one I still cannot get is, like, the really mountain bavarian accent.

>> Speaker E: I bet.

>> Speaker D: so my boyfriend used to work near Rosenheim, and so all of his friends are from that area. From the Rosenheim area. And their accents are ridiculous.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. They even roll the arts, right.

>> Speaker D: Yeah, so much. yeah, yeah. So it's. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad. It depends. My favorite german accent is the Hamburg accent. I went there once, and, it was amazing because I could understand everything, you know, they spoke so clearly.

>> Speaker C: the area with the least accent is Hanover.

>> Speaker E: Ah. Ah. Really?

>> Speaker D: I never visited Hanover.

>> Speaker C: I, mean, me neither. Why would you? There is nothing there. I think it's supposed to be Germany's ugliest city.

>> Speaker D: Oh, no. Maybe. Well, now I need to go. I need to see if this is true.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. But, apparently, like, this is like Hoch Deutsch.

>> Speaker D: A proper. Yeah, okay, maybe.

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker D: for me, yeah. But Hamburg for me was just not, I think there was still an accent there for sure, but yeah, there is.

>> Speaker C: yeah, but they still have a few words, but, I don't know, it's, I feel like even like, it sounds like slang.

>> Speaker D: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

Is there anything that you could recommend somebody who would think of moving to Germany

Is there anything that you could recommend somebody who would think of moving to Germany?

>> Speaker D: in terms of, what to.

>> Speaker C: Expect, like how so, what to prepare? How to prepare.

>> Speaker D: I think, I think it's getting easier with the language. I think it's, if you speak English. it is. In the five years I've been here, or almost five years, it has become more open in, terms of the workforce, I would say especially. but I still think learning the language will give you a huge boost and it's a major plus. It also, for me, like, learning the language helps you understand the culture more.

>> Speaker D: So if you really want to integrate into a place, then learning the language is a big plus. from my side, I would say yes. Still to expect the bureaucracy. things are slow. As I understand it, I, I work with a lot. Most of the company I work for now is international. And so I see it very often. People come here, they're trying to find apartments, they're trying to register with insurances, get bank accounts, and of course you can't get a bank account unless you have an address. And sometimes you can't get an address or rent an apartment without a bank account because you need to pay a deposit. So things take time, and I think patience is important in Germany.

Would you say Germans are friendly in your experience

>> Speaker C: Would you say the Germans that are not your friends, but that you interact with, like on a daily basis, still, like whatever, people in the store, or people at an office, or people at the library, or who knows? But would you say they are friendly?

>> Speaker D: in my experience, yes. okay. I don't know if it's Bavarians, if it's people from the Augsburg area in particular, if it's because I'm english, I'm not sure. But in my experience, I've not had anything where they've shouted at me and made me cry. And I know people who have had that experience, in different cities here in Germany. so I would say I cry.

>> Speaker C: Okay, so, but it's just because of the reputation and I know it's like going to, what's the word to an amt?

>> Speaker E: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: To, like, any, like,

>> Speaker D: Like, official government.

>> Speaker C: Like, official government place. It's like you're greeted with, like, a grumpy face, you know? So it's like, hey, why are you here? What do you want from me? You know? So this is the reputation. And also had, like, this experience myself. Yeah, but if you don't have that experience.

>> Speaker D: Yeah. And I think, I don't know, maybe I got super lucky. But I never, Whenever I. When Brexit did officially happen, we had to go and get residency cards. again, the process was incredibly easy for us. Okay? We are still. We didn't have to get visas because we are still protected, by the withdrawal agreement. But, we just needed to get. Before we didn't need residency, and now we do.

>> Speaker D: Okay.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Speaker D: But that experience was, amazing. Super quick in terms of actually getting an appointment. We got an appointment, I think, two days after I called them.

>> Speaker E: Uh-huh. Okay.

>> Speaker D: It took one month for the paperwork to come and be sorted.

>> Speaker C: That is nothing.

>> Speaker D: But that's quick, right?

>> Speaker C: That is quick.

>> Speaker D: I've had. I know people that have waited nine months for their visa appointment and then another, like, six months to get the visa. M so, yeah, it was all really quick. I also don't know if some of it. I suffer very badly with anxiety. And what that does to me is it means I am somewhat over prepared for everything. So, you know, when I first went to the AMT, I knew first thing I had to go in, and I had to tell them my name, and I had an appointment, my appointment number from the little email that I got, I had a folder with all my paperwork ready. And, you know, truly super, over prepared because I took paperwork that I didn't m even need. And the guy was like, I don't need this. I don't know why have you brought me this? So maybe that helps a little. And also, I think, as well, I'm just, Generally, I'm a very positive person. I will always greet people with a big smile and stuff, and I think sometimes that eases tensions. Yeah.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. All right, good, good. You had, like, no bad experience. And also, I mean, that is super quick for anything, like one month.

And I wanted to ask you about the Brexit thing, too. Um, it's dying down a little bit now

And I wanted to ask you about the Brexit thing, too. Is this, like, do you get a lot of comments, though? Like, hey, why did they vote for Brexit? Or something like that?

>> Speaker D: Yeah. it's dying down a little bit now. yeah. but when it was first happening, especially when, like, Boris Johnson was also prime minister, during that period as well. we got a lot of questions and comments about that. And then also, of course, we went through, as you said earlier, we went through a bunch of different prime ministers, for whatever reason. So there were jokes made and comments and stuff about that, but, not so much anymore.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but I understand it's like, it also died down in the media. It's not as anymore.

How often do you visit home during the pandemic

>> Speaker D: how often do you visit home during the pandemic? that was hard because I think for about a year and a half, almost two years, we didn't get to visit. sure.

>> Speaker C: And you were just there, you were still very new, and we were still new as well.

>> Speaker D: and also, we really like, as I said, my boyfriend is a huge motorsport fan. He's a big car fan. and we both really like road trips, so we, when possible, we actually really love to drive home. hm. We love the road trip. We always drive north, to avoid the french toll road, so we don't have to pay. so we drive north and then we go through Luxembourg and Belgium and then into France, that way, and get the ferry across. And, the problem we had was a couple of times during COVID 19, we could have gone home. You know, we filled out all the paperwork, we had taken all the tests, and the French decided they were closing the borders at the last minute. so, yeah, I lost a lot of money, ah, in one year, due to all of that. But now, in the last couple of years, last year, I think we went two or three times back home. the year before I went, I went three or four times and I think my partner came two or three. I went once by myself, for sure. but this year, we're not sure this year when we're going to get to go because we've dedicated this year to a lot more european travel. and we're also going to Brazil for Christmas this year, so I'm not sure when we're going to get, because my father lives in Brazil, so my father is not in the UK. He lives over there.

>> Speaker C: Maybe your father wants to be on my podcast.

>> Speaker D: Yes, maybe.

>> Speaker C: I didn't have a brazilian story yet, so.

>> Speaker D: Yeah, so he's married to a brazilian lady. And, I have a half brazilian baby brother, who I've never met, so I'm determined to go and.

>> Speaker C: See him for sure. Yeah, it's funny that. I mean, for you, it's like such a short flight, it's only like an hour. Yeah, but, like. But still, like, you dedicate a lot of your free time to go there. You know, for us it's the same. It's like all our vacation we save up just to go visit home.

>> Speaker E: Exactly.

>> Speaker C: And, we never go anywhere else. I mean, like, short road trips we do, but, like, nothing. We're not going, like, on a major vacation somewhere else because we spend all that time just visiting friends and family.

>> Speaker E: Exactly. Yeah.

>> Speaker D: And sometimes, you know, it's amazing and it's wonderful to go home and to visit friends and family. Sure. but it never really feels like a holiday. You know, there's certain points, like, especially when you're staying with family and you're so used to living in your own space. that gets to a point where tensions start to rise and you start to become kind of exhausted with the whole trip. so this year we're trying to have kind of more holidays.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, you should.

>> Speaker E: Absolutely.

>> Speaker C: Because it's like, you don't have, like, me time. You don't go and see things that you really want to see. Right. It's like, I'm just gonna go there and, whatever. I'll do the same thing what I used to do five years ago.

>> Speaker E: Exactly.

>> Speaker D: And it's. Especially in the UK. I find it especially hard because the roads are very slow in the UK. and my boyfriend's family are all from the north of England. And my family are from, Buckinghamshire, which is just outside London. And then. But we're both from Hereford, which is on the border between England and Wales. So we have friends and family in Hereford. I've got family down near London. He has family up near Manchester. And so we just spent, like, the whole time just driving up and down.

>> Speaker C: Right, right. Uh-huh. Thank you for your time. Thank you for being on my podcast.

>> Speaker D: thank you very much for having me. I really enjoyed it.

>> Speaker B: That was Steph's interview, everyone. She was kind of always circling back on bureaucracy and the language. So, yeah, I mean, that is something that I guess Germany is very famous for. But come on, Germany, get rid of your fax machines. And, I also, just wanted to clarify, in the interview, I talk about Hochdeutsch. So this means, like, proper German or.

>> Speaker C: Like, German, like clear German without an accent.

>> Speaker B: So, just to let you know, also, if you want to hear more of Steph and her blog, she has one, and I make sure that you will find it in the show notes. It is called adventuresofteffy.com. And yeah, you will find it in the show notes. Until then, I hope you liked this episode, and you will tune in again next week with a new one. Okay? Until then, bye.