Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your host Aurora, and I hope you're doing well. I'm very

happy to be spending some time with you today and to reflect,

help you recharge your batteries and just relax into being

instead of doing all the time. Today I want to talk about

shame. Shame is the emotion that carries the lowest vibration. If

you want to talk energetics here, it is a very heavy

feeling. It is a feeling that sometimes and oftentimes even

makes us want to hide from people makes us want to avoid

people not connect to people. It is deeper and more destructive

than sadness. Sadness is very heavy and low vibrational energy

as well. But shame the difference between the sadness

and shame is usually directed towards us. There's something

inside of us that we are absolutely not okay with

something that we cannot imagine we will ever be able to embrace

something that we cannot imagine we can ever forgive ourselves.

So you don't have to be a criminal. To feel shame, I think

this is very common sense that we all feel shame for something

that we have done in the past, something that has happened in

our life, or a situation that we were involved in. And then you

will also see that people feel shame, for very, very different

things. It has to do with their religious background, cultural

background, and how they grew up. So the household if you look

at children, children at a playground, children at the

beach, there's some children who just run around topless and feel

free, totally fine. And then there is children who maybe got

dirty, a little bit or wet, and they have to be changed. And

they feel deep embarrassment and shame for taking off their

clothing, maybe even in front of their parents. So it all starts

out when we're very little. And we learn from our direct

environment of what is shame. Shameful, so to say, and what is

okay? Now, if you look at friendships, or intimate

relationships, when you look at the people that you want to

deeply connect with. I think it makes a lot of sense that once

we know we can share exactly this, that we're trying to avoid

and run away from a Nazi about ourselves. If we show exactly

this to someone, and that person does not reject

us.

It is a powerful, very intimate place to be. Now you can decide

if you want to do this little exercise with me or not, I

recommend you try it out. You just take something doesn't have

to be the, the worst part about yourself, but you take something

that you really don't like about yourself can be physical, it can

be a thoughts that you have can be something that happened in

the past. pick whatever you want, you can also imagine

something new.

And now imagine you talking to a stranger, in a very safe

setting. And you guys get along awesome. And all of a sudden,

that person opens up to you about something that has

happened in the past something that they have done.

I think I experienced that there is an instant being able to

relate to this happening. Because at the same time, you

might be thinking, Oh, yeah, I've done something similar or

Yeah, there's something I'm not proud of either. So someone

opens up to us. And it makes us think of our shame.

And then

we start to feel compassion for that person, because we keep

thinking about what happened to us what is what is what,

like, what if I would

open up about this, I know how I am going to react to this person

now with them opening up to me. But how will they react once I

open up to them. So they continue talking. And you can

really see that they feel shame for what has happened to them or

what they've done. And then it's your part, and then you talk.

And as you know how shame feel, because of what has happened to

you or what have what you've done, you will show compassion,

you will maybe even be able to relate to that story. And you

will make the other person feel safe and good with you. And then

you will do the same with that person, he will say doesn't have

to be in the same conversation. But for the future, you know,

holy This is a safe place. This is where I can open up because

that person just open up to me. And I can do the same in the

future. So in the future, you decide to finally open up to

that person.

And they hold space for you. They show compassion. They maybe

even relate to your story. And while I speak these words for

you today, I can feel that feeling again that I felt when I

open up to a loved one in the past.

And when when they showed me like hey, we've all done this,

we've all been there and it is okay to let go of that shame of

that pain. It is liberating. It is so powerful and so precious.

Because I promise you the next time you look into the mirror,

you will be able to embrace this step yourself sorry, one little

bit stronger. You will be able to forgive yourself. And this is

why we are herd animals we need each other so much because I

feel when it comes to shameful thoughts and shameful feelings.

We usually get caught up with this we've tried to suppress it

not see it avoided but it is always there. And then if we

know that is that someone we can talk to about it is that someone

who didn't judge us for this, we start to become kinda with

ourselves too. And you'd be so surprised to find out how for

some people, some things create deep shame inside of them. And

you from an outsider perspective, just think what?

Like, that's what you think is, like, weird. Let's talk about

somebody else's stuff or my stuff that I see as way worse.

Now, so dawn story top that, that person or I think you know

what I mean? I don't know how to say it better in English, but

you give that person their space. And you keep these swords

to yourself these sorts of holy, like, that's not bad at all.

Because we all experience life on different levels, right? I've

talked about this in season one. Even if you look at your

siblings, you guys grew up in the same household, yet you

perceive life very differently. And this is one of the big

secrets to a great relationship with yourself and with others,

is that you constantly check in with yourself, hey, am I

projecting my stuff onto the other person? Or am I actually

being curious and giving them giving them space or Yeah, space

to fully develop, and how they want to develop and express

themselves. So yeah, shame is a tricky, tricky emotion that has

to be addressed at some point, because it's going to suck life

energy out of you, or maybe even make you sick. It is very

important to find people that you can trust, maybe even

counselors, or therapists, or people who went through similar

things, you know, in support groups, Facebook is awesome for

this. If you need to find a group, a support group, and

never judge yourself for how you feel for certain things. Because

you are so unique. was your experience here on planet Earth,

that no one not even yourself, should judge you on how you

feel. All your feelings are valid, all your feelings have to

come up, have to be looked at maybe for a little bit, and then

have to be released again. We cannot continue to carry that

shame with us. Because it's gonna make us sick. And it is

gonna make us hide and dim our light. And we need you out

there. We need you out there more than ever. Because humanity

is going through so much stuff right now. So we need every

person possible out there shining their light expressing

themselves honestly and openly. with good intentions. We have to

stop to dim our light and to hide and to feel we're not

enough. Yeah, endlessly precious. You are enough. And I

don't think that your shame is bigger than others. Thank you so

much for listening to the Borealis experience. If you can

relate to this, if you feel that Yeah, my words resonate with

your heart and your soul. Please share, please leave me a review

on Apple podcast. It would mean the world to me to hear from you

to hear your thoughts. And I will be out there very soon