This is a global player original podcast.

Be warned, it's Lou Hannah.

And this podcast contains honest upfront opinions.

Gosh, stinky ass from me.

Rants, bants, and general explicit content.

But, well, apparently, you know, you love it, and.

And we love you too.

Good morning, everyone.

Welcome to Monday's Luanna.

The podcast.

It's bad, isn't it?

Also, the gunt is on particular form today of me.

I mean, I'd say it's like, almost.

Small to your gun.

You're attached to it.

Yeah, I'm quite attached to it.

Yeah.

You like it?

I think I like it.

You know, well, guns and all.

Here we are.

Here we are.

Now we have started the morning strong at Champney's.

Two at the pod.

Pod.

Oh, Louise, what's wrong with you?

Wore those socks.

You know, when I picked my socks today from my drawer, nearly picked a boring pair, and I thought, they're not gonna bring me joy.

I'm not gonna wear those socks.

I need joy in my life.

Keep me joying.

Ramble.

I play.

No, I Pray.

Pray.

We have yet again come dressed as twins.

I mean, we've got to sort this out.

What's wrong with us?

Why we keep marching on down.

You know what this is?

You know what this is?

This is several years, almost a decade.

We should have, like a.

We should have, like a.

A marriage ceremony when we hit, like, an actual decade.

Shall we get married?

But, like, not officially.

In like a pagan.

Have a.

Yes.

Oh, we could.

Like a humanist wedding.

Marrying your work.

What is wrong with our mics?

Why can't we see each other today?

Hang on the table, I think.

No, there we go.

No, it's what happens when we're on our own.

Things have been moved around.

No, we're all right.

It was me.

I think I pushed the table back.

No, I'm all right now.

Yeah, Emo isn't here today, by the way.

Guys, we could make just for vague.

Williams podcast so we could make up a massive excuse.

But she's basically.

She said we're basically more capable than Vogue Williams of running the show.

We'll take that.

Which is true.

We'll.

We'll take that.

Even though Vogue has like 10 million podcasts, you think she'd be able to do herself by now?

And we love Vogue, by the way.

Oh, yeah.

I'm not throwing shade.

No, no shade.

I am.

I need to IMs.

Friendly shade.

Friendly shade.

No.

So IMs.

She is using her prowess elsewhere.

But that's okay because, of course, she has created.

In fact, she's backed herself today, Lou.

She's put on our little group chat this morning, guys, this is one of the scripts I've done in a long time and she's.

She's proper sad.

She's not here.

So we're looking forward to this.

So brace yourself, guys, because coming up today in Luana, the podcast, I think we've got a bit of healthy debate and some feedback from.

She's got no idea what's coming up today because she's not read the script.

I love the fact you did like a gmtv.

That did sound GMT today.

No fucking clue.

Because all you've seen is this first page which says, hello, do an intro.

Well, no, but she did.

Have you not read her message?

Yeah, she picked it up.

She picked it up.

Oh, yeah, We've got a healthy debate.

About a story we talked about last week, so stay tuned.

The drug thing in the drug room.

Glasgow Space girls.

Well, can I just say.

Yes, you can.

I went.

Yes, you may.

Permission to speak, please.

Oh, look at the rain, Anna.

Oh, it's miserable being in England.

I need to go back to Dubai now, me.

Rain on me.

Anyway, go on.

I went to Preventicum.

Beg your pardon?

Last week's.

My health check.

Oh, my gosh, Lufanians.

I know a little bit of this, but not all of it.

So basically, so what is Preventicum?

Because you've now ignited the actual health anxiety.

One, one, one joke that I am.

Well, you know, Davina McCall recently said, oh, she's got a brain tumor, blah, blah.

What?

She did?

Yeah, she did a health scan.

So if you've got an aneurysm, you would not know unless you had like a brain mri.

Babs, I'm booking myself in.

So, basically, I went for one.

Andrew had one too, and he was like, I think you should do one.

Probably taking life insurance.

Did you?

Yeah, you know it.

Did you do it because you'd heard Davina McCool talk about, didn't she?

No, we've been talking.

I think she was doing something and then someone offered it, or.

I can't remember, I don't know.

But anyway, she did a health and.

We all know that.

Then it came out with this.

This brain cyst.

Yeah.

So, anyway, yeah, no, Andrew and I've been meaning to do one for ages.

We're meant to do it last year, actually.

A good idea, and we didn't get time.

So, anyway, you go, yeah, it's not cheap, to be fair, but they do everything.

So you have a brain mri, chest mri, like stomach mri, like check your liver.

How long does it stuff takes all day.

It's like six, seven hours.

And you go to a private hospital.

Will you go to a private clinic?

Yeah.

Which is specific.

This.

So they have doctors there, radiologists there, cardiologists.

So you have like radio.

Had loads of ultrasound scans, had a smear test, had a breast check, blood test, proper body health scan, everything.

And then you get your results like literally the same day.

And who.

And.

And do you have like one sort of consultant that delivers all that or do you have consultants for each thing that they've looked at?

Do you have one doctor overall for the whole day?

But then you go to the specialist.

So I saw like the specialist radiologists, specialist cardiologist.

Yeah, well, we do like a fitness.

I mean, you.

You say it's expensive.

I mean, and it is expensive.

However, and I think this, this comes down to like we talked about this.

You know, healthy as well.

And actually for me, I would honestly like give up a family holiday and give.

I would economize elsewhere in my life in order to.

Yeah, make.

Just check my health is in good.

I want to be here for my kids.

So to the top.

Typical.

I think it's about choice in life.

Not always.

If we're.

We are fortunate enough to have choice, you and I, let's be fully transparent about that.

And then they like do a whole body scan, like your muscle mass, all of that stuff.

Anyway, I would like to do a public service announcement for everyone that always says I'm too thin.

Go on.

I am in healthy weight range and my BMI is healthy.

Good.

My body fat is low, but my weight is healthy.

Don't stop eating, guys.

Trust me, she's fine.

Who doesn't want low body fat, right?

Because none of my organs have fat around them.

So my liver and everything.

The fat around my.

So healthy.

I do have a slightly enlarged liver, which they said is very strange.

Why is that?

And my marina coil.

They've said stop.

Yeah, because I have no fat around my liver.

Like literally like barely any.

And can you reverse that?

Like reverse the enlarging of the liver?

They said that they're not concerned.

So they then go, literally will consult with a liver specialist.

And then he was like, oh, my clients.

And is this all under the same, like, fee you pay?

Yeah, if you need any, like, so if something flags.

No, if you do you have to pay extra then to get it.

So something like that, where it's an opinion.

No, he just asked the liver specialist, like, is this a concern?

Right.

And the liver guy was like, no other things that flag.

Yeah, you then.

So, basically, anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am a healthy weight.

So can you please stop saying I'm too thin?

It's really annoying.

And.

And if I was worried about her as well, I'd tell her.

Also, I know, like, where I'm always cold and stuff.

Got low iron, which I kind of knew already.

So they then, like, give me a prescription for iron tablets or they make.

You constipated because I had those after I had Enzo.

Annoying.

I might just get.

Do you remember I had an iron transfusion.

Yeah, Yeah.

I might just get another one of those.

When you get those sachets, the iron sachets.

Yeah.

Do you remember we were sponsored by that iron company one.

I do take a lot of supplements.

I.

I'm not that good soul guard.

And this is not a massive plug.

Even though, full disclosure, I have done some work with Solga, but I do absolutely love.

They're the gold.

You know, the gold.

You go in a pharmacy, you'll just see Solga supplements.

Fantastic.

They're amazing, honestly.

Anyway, anyway, so basically did all blood tests and that, Then my brain mri.

They, you know.

Do you remember when sometimes I get migraines, but not that often.

Do you remember when we meant to record that podcast of Lad Baby and Lab Baby Mum?

And then I fell asleep because I had a migraine.

Everyone was like.

We were all sitting on it and I was ringing around half of Bl Start for Children.

I was in, like, Dixie's bed asleep.

Anyway, so I've got like this white dot on my brain.

And he was like, that's like white.

White brain matter or something.

But he said, do you get migraines?

And I was like, yeah.

He was like, we can see from this, like, white dot.

He said, it's nothing to be worried about, but there's nothing you can really do for it.

But I haven't got an aneurysm.

Anyway, go on.

You know, if you're a kind of OG Luthanian listener, you will know that we kind of had this running sick joke that I had throat cancer when.

I was a running.

When I.

Sick joke when I kept losing my voice and I went to see an ENT and we had nodules.

Nodules, blah, blah.

Anyway, the ENT did, like, at the time, which was probably about four or five years ago now, put like a camera up my nose without me thinking that was going to happen that day.

I looked at my throat, it was all fine.

Anyway, on the ultrasound, I have got nodules on my right thyroid and they rate them from one to five.

One being one is like fine.

Two, fine.

Four, suspected cancer.

Five, definite cancer.

I am a three, so I might actually have throat cancer.

Okay.

I mean, let's, you know, let's.

Okay.

I'm just saying.

I am always psychic.

Well, don't be.

Stop this nonsense.

No, no, we've talked about it.

I'm not that stressed about it.

I think it's going to be fine.

Because she's already told me this.

3.

That's why she doesn't sound shocked.

3.

Yeah, because I got all my stress out.

And then she did.

She was like, I'm freaking out.

She was like, what about the kids?

I'm gonna die.

I was gonna die.

And I was like, just calm down.

This is normally me.

That is the.

And I was.

And then my mate as well.

She.

She also got nodules.

She's.

She's quite common.

She says it's very common.

And.

And.

And apparently lots of people have them and don't know they've had them.

And.

And yeah, and even if she was told.

And this is not medical opinion, this is just what I've been told secondhand.

She was told that even if it was something really bad, apparently it's a real slow grower and someone else will see you off before that would.

Anyway, is what she.

Probably horse riding accident, so.

Well, there we go.

Now.

Now that's.

Anyway, not concerned, obviously, but good.

So referred me to this guy.

I've got an appointment end of the week, so I'll see him, find out.

They said they'll just biopsy it.

Biopsy?

Yeah.

Sounds a bit grim, the whole biopsy thing.

Yeah.

Because they numb your whole.

Yeah.

Oh, bless you.

And then they like go in.

In which?

The mouth or through the neck?

No, through the neck with a needle.

You'll be fine.

They apparently do loads of stabs.

If you'll be numbed.

Yeah, I'll be numbed.

It actually doesn't overly bother me anyway, so I had a better nose.

We must.

Guys.

You must do it.

Go on.

Yeah.

Didn't realize they were gonna go up my fanny, did I?

Cool.

You should have.

So I wasn't that prep.

Well, I've had laser, so I'm never that hairy.

Had you washed?

Yeah, that was the Hoffman I had washed.

Obviously I had to wash that morning.

No waft going on there.

Like, I was like, oh, like, bit unprepared for this.

So there I am.

Take the pants off behind the Curtain.

Have a little look of white matter in there.

So I'm all right.

Spitting on my hand, trying to.

Trying to rub it a bit before.

Get the white bit.

I like to call that the smudge.

It's the vag smudge.

Do you know what I mean?

It's a bit pasty.

It's sort of week two of.

Week two of.

Of your ovulation process.

And I was trying to do it really quickly so that, like, they didn't think, what is she doing back there?

I find.

Rub it.

Trying to get all the little bits.

When Mia from Aquatox does my laser and I take my pants off, I do something.

They give you like baby wipes first?

Well, yeah, but sometimes I get really worried that Mia's gonna see the smudge in my pants.

So I sort of try to kick them under the table or put them in my bag.

No, but mine was like a little bit of whitey around the innie.

Oh, she would.

All right.

Okay.

So it wasn't great anyway.

And I had washed that morning.

Judgment babes like nervous secretion.

Nervous secretion it was.

So basically, then some crust around the old smear.

Yeah, I haven't got the results of that yet.

When was the last time you had a smear?

Two years ago.

Oh, fine.

So you're.

Yeah, yeah, I had my smear recently.

Did my boobs.

But I'm, you know, I am quite an awkward person sometimes.

So they had to get a chaperone in because that's their rules.

Sure, that's everywhere.

Lovely young girl comes in.

She only 24.

And I was like, oh, don't tell me.

She was a new funny.

And.

No, she.

Or she wouldn't have said.

She didn't say what she was.

No.

And then there I am, my tits out.

It's feeling the tits.

And I was like, oh, hope I haven't got hairy nipples.

Like, why do I say these things?

I mean.

I mean, why did I say that?

And then there's like this awkward laughter from everyone and me just feeling like, why, Louisa, why?

And then like, he's there between my legs and I went off not prepared for this.

Or my legs are a bit crusty.

They're not very shaven.

You know, like when you get all dry legs and they look like scaly skin.

I just kept on playing things.

It's filling.

It's filling the awkward silence with the prattle.

It's just even more awkward.

I do exactly the same thing.

Awkward when I had.

When.

Especially when someone has their hand up your vag.

Yeah.

I mean we are a bit more used to it since having babies.

But even still, when I recently had my smear and had me old cyst, the V cyst checked and they stuck that wand up, you know the wand ultrasound thing again.

You just find yourself just prattling absolute.

I know you know about your vag.

Well, I've got a sister on my ovary.

This is.

That's nothing to worry about.

Okay, well that's fine.

So very informative.

I mean you could see the bulges are still in my back and bulge in my neck and I knew that cuz my neck's been hurting.

So.

So other than just getting this little, little nodule cyst checked out, we are a full bill of health.

I'm full bit of health.

That's it, baby.

So there you go.

Okay, well we look forward to.

Also good, good eyes.

They check your eyes.

Hearing test.

Very good hearing.

I knew I had good hearing.

I hear everything.

I can hear like if I'm in a restaurant, I hear everybody else's conversations.

I'd make a good spy who actually would.

Although I'm quite obvious person.

So maybe not quite obvious and you'd probably be quite confrontational.

Anyway, so that, that's my news of the week.

I have got, well, big news.

I have got nodules which we have suspected for six years.

And so basically now I'm like a doctor.

I mean and a psychic, I would say.

I say you may as well just go and get that, that little hat they stick on you.

And the doctorate and the scroll now, babes.

Well listen, I want one of those.

Do you think that we could black.

I really want a degree because I.

Never want an honorary degree in services to psychotherapy.

I want an honorary honorary degree in anything.

I actually don't care what it is, anything.

I just want to have one.

Be nice, wouldn't it?

Maybe that could be.

We've got some uni person that listens to this.

Yeah.

How can we get an honorary degree?

Yeah, I mean I'm always seeing celebs getting some honorary degree from somewhere for doing something.

What have they done?

Not a lot.

I mean they might have probably done quite a lot but.

Well, listen, as always with Luana, you know, we like to bring our, our issues to you.

I mean, I'd be vag sis got that checked.

We are fine.

We're now going to get that one checked.

So this is a little reminder to everybody.

Don't let your health go.

You've got to prioritize.

I'll be able to Update on the next pod because very quickly it happens.

And I want to just get booked in for these.

I want to get.

Honestly.

So I know the cardiologist there, so I did get a 15.

Did you?

Yeah, I honestly, I said this for you.

You and I should both go.

Aneurysm or something.

You don't know.

That's how young people drop down.

And, and also, you know, it sounds really morbid but, you know, there are in both sides of our families, you know, premature deaths that have gone on, you know, due to certain, you know, things.

And I think it's important to know and you know, if you can afford it.

Obviously it's a lot of money, but I'm a big believer in, you know, robbing Peter to pay Paul, you know, and if it means we economize.

She's a pauper, guys.

Loaded.

She always keeps saying this.

Honestly, she's never seen my bank account.

No, but.

No, but I'm.

I feel quite strongly about that.

My parents have always said, no, you should go.

It'd be really good for your.

But it would be really good for my hypochondria.

But I think if you can.

I mean, I appreciate, you know, people are having a penny pinch a lot nowadays, but you know, if you can.

I think it's always important.

Well, listen, I've had a great week.

Last week I was away, I was doing a little, A little event that I always do.

I want to just quick shout out to a lot of Luffanians that I met who, who were absolutely hilarious and actually every time I walked up to them, they would actually go like.

And it was, I mean, very sweet, very sweet.

And they kept over apologizing for, you know, being fans of this, of the show.

We love it.

We bloody love it.

So hello to Nick, Nicole, Louise, Claire.

Hello there.

There were loads of man fans that were coming up to me, Andy.

There were loads, loads of wonderful people.

We love that.

Honestly, it was.

It was really great to see everyone also.

Also a little bit.

I've just had to quickly check because I wanted to do a little a thank you to Emily from Bracknell.

Okay.

A couple of weeks ago she was on our.

Luana totally obviously is on Thursdays.

Guys, don't forget you can listen to all the back catalog of Luana.

Listen to all the episodes if you.

Want to after this when you miss us.

Yes, go back and listen.

Go back and listen to it.

And don't forget we are coming to YouTube.

Oh, YouTube.

YouTube.

YouTube.

Guys, big announcements.

We there are like we have experimented very mildly with YouTube over the years.

So make sure you follow that you subscribe to the correct YouTube channel.

It's got about 10, 000 subscribers at the minute.

And the link is in our bio about Instagram, which is at everything underscore Luana.

So please go, because you've kept asking now for years and years.

We're actually going to redo our studio.

We're investing.

She's stressing out about curtains.

Curtains.

Stressing the wrong side.

But you're now going to see us and watch us as well as listen to us.

Lots of people are excited about that.

So, as Lou says, go to the link in our bio in our Instagrams and.

And please do subscribe now and sign up because you don't want to miss it.

Subscribe now.

Subscribe now.

Subscribe now.

Subscribe squad now.

Also.

So, yeah, Emily from Brackenock in Totally Extra the other week, she talked about being fed up with rude people.

It was the checkout person, you know, when they.

When they just ignore you.

And.

And actually she inspired me this week because we like to do.

And I just wanted to say thank you for this.

When a rant inspires.

Because I went to going.

But we like to do family tea on a Friday or a Saturday night, whatever.

Bonding.

Bonding with the fudge.

Have a game of Uno over tea and all that.

And we like to.

Alex, like, let's go to Turkish.

We're like a Turkish.

Because kids enjoy it.

Yeah.

And the kids enjoy Turkish as well.

Brilliant.

So there's a couple near where we live.

Yeah.

So I'll ring one of them up, pick up.

Guy picks up the phone.

Yeah.

This is the conversation.

Baited breath.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

He answers.

Yeah, that's him.

What?

And I was like, oh, hello.

Is that blah, blah, blah.

Yeah.

Oh, and then he's got there.

Then I thought my.

My heels sort of dug in.

Did you think, I don't want to order from you now?

Yeah.

Well, this is it.

So then I went.

And I went, can I please book a table for, you know, dinner?

Yeah.

Oh.

So I waited.

And he went, I'm listening.

He said.

So I then was like, okay, it's for four of us.

Name, you know, 4, 30.

Yep.

Okay.

And then put the phone down.

Five minutes later, I thought, no, no.

Oh, you've taken a stand against me.

I've taken a set about Emily from Bracknell.

I called him straight back up again.

Obviously checked with the other Turkish.

They had room.

So rang up the other Turkish.

Very Nice.

Booked us a table.

I'm not giving, I'm not giving you our pennies and our pounds service.

No, you've lost us, mate.

Mate.

So I thought again, I am going to always judge myself by my own standards.

I could have just ghosted them and not bothered bringing back together.

I didn't because that's not who I am.

No, you wanted to tell him he was a rude.

Basically, yeah.

But also, you know, I'm going to live by my own standards and values.

So I rang him back up and I said, I just booked a table five minutes ago, I'd actually like to cancel it.

He was like, all right.

And I said, I'm not going to tell you why.

Oh.

I said, because you were incredibly rude, incredibly unwelcoming.

Yeah.

Frankly, it's a lot of money to take your family out for tea.

Yeah.

Like, you're dropping 100 quid by the time you've all had, you know, starters drinks and all that, that's what you're doing.

And I went, I'm taking my money elsewhere.

So I'm afraid you have lost a customer every Saturday for life.

And what did he say?

Not a lot.

All right.

Right.

So anyway, thank you, Emily, because you reminded me we don't need to tolerate Rudy.

No, we don't.

You need to vote with your feet and go, I'm taking my business elsewhere.

So there we are, talking about voting.

Trump's in.

I know.

God.

I mean, him doing that dancing of the ymca, I didn't see that job.

I mean, I mean, I'm sort of weirdly here for all the novishes.

The novishness.

Like, I'm not here for him, but I'm here for the novishness.

But there's something about his personality that I kind of like.

I, I, I don't.

But I just find him hilarious.

Look, he is.

No, Boris, let's be honest, it's just.

Alan Partridge all over.

Everything he does is just a meme, as you say.

And then you've got all these people, then, like, these die hard.

Oh, my God.

He's like, jesus, he's gotta save the world.

And I'm like, all right, Sandy from Wisconsin, you go, girl.

He's gotta say.

He's like, jesus has got in.

We've got the Savior.

And I'm like, go.

And then Elon Musk with his old salute.

I mean, it's all going on.

That, that was a bit like, why would you do that?

Even if you're.

Did you see Elon Musk's Nazi salute.

No, sorry.

Have you not seen this?

No.

When did he do that?

I have to show you.

Oh, give me that.

Oh, my gosh, if that isn't.

No, I mean, that's.

No, you don't.

I mean, that is canceled, surely.

Well, it's.

Can I just say once.

I remember once doing that as a joke in front of my grandma.

Did she go.

She went nuts.

I.

We were learning about it at school and I went and did a Nazi slew when Harl Hitler.

And she literally nearly, like, slapped me around the face.

And she was like, your granddad nearly died in the war.

I remember thinking, geez, I didn't understand.

I didn't understand the political landscape back then when I was nine.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

So when you see that.

So she showed me a picture of Elon Musk doing a proper, like, yeah, fascist salute.

So when you see that, that's bad.

But can I put it into context?

So people are seeing this on Instagram that are so bad.

By the way, I'm not an Elon Musk fan.

I actually don't really give a.

About him either way.

But he was like, I give you my heart.

Oh, is that what it is?

So he's taken his heart and, like, thrown it out.

And that was scream, grant, scream, grab.

Scream, grab.

That was how he said it.

He was like, thank you, thank you.

I give you my heart.

I give you my heart.

So it's like grabbing his heart and throwing it out to the audience, like in this giving heart.

And people are now screen grabbed the whole boom, boom.

And cut what he said before.

So it looks like he's doing a Nazi slit now then the, like, you know, not glitterati.

What's it called?

Literati.

No, Illuminati.

Illuminati.

They're all like, oh, this is like.

He is, like, doing the Nazi salute and this is the.

The end and blah, blah.

So there's all these differing opinions.

There's been so much going around, whirling around.

Elon, was he just throwing his heart out?

Was it a Nazi?

Or was it like, oh, wow, it's all kicked off.

But America is giving us a lot of memes at the minute and.

And I am kind of here for it, but I am sorry for Americans.

Some.

Some.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, o.

Come on, though.

Biden was about to die.

He had no brain left.

I mean.

Nah, he was a bit of a weirdo, too.

I was watching one about with Baron Trump also.

They wish to be rude.

This is not me being rude.

Trump's kid, the 18 year old boy, he looks like grew from despicable.

Me four.

I actually know who I thought they are.

He literally looks like.

Because I saw this weird looking kid.

Like he looks like gruff from Despicable.

Now you know I've said it right.

You can't unsee it, can you?

You can't, can you see, you heard it here first.

It is.

I know.

Is that Melania's son then?

Yeah.

She looks pretty good to be fair.

Yeah, we need her surgeon.

Add her to the list.

I mean, Melania is looking good.

Sienna Miller, have you seen her recently?

Yes.

Oh, I mean there's some, there's some good.

There's some good work going on.

Allegedly.

They might do.

We don't know if they do.

These women a gatekeeping from us normal peasants.

I wanna live like common.

How is, how is living like a common person?

Gangly after last week, it's going well.

Yeah, that's the common thing.

You've done this.

Well, your kids are going to the supermarket today, so well done.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

So not with me.

Their big outing of the week.

Yeah, they're going.

Hello, children.

Come and see how common folk live.

No, Dixie's going to supermarket with her friends because she's having a little weekend.

They'll need a pound.

She's coming, she's having a staycation with her friends and they're going to live in the cottage for the weekend so they're allowed to go to Tesco and get some snacks.

Give her a pound for the trolley.

Yeah, you'll need that.

No, not in our Tesco.

Oh, no, it's a posture.

Don't charge you.

You know when you're somewhere rough, when you get charged for the trolleys, don't you?

You do know that's how you.

You can class the supermarket by whether you have to bring your little trolley.

Token and whether they lock up meat behind fridge, behind padlocks.

Now, it's a big thing now, shoplifting, lock up meat and alcohol.

I mean, that's quite.

I suppose alcohol.

Yeah, that's always happened.

No, some, some high baby formula.

Big, big, big issue with shoplifting.

Big, big issue.

Well, there's a big issue because they can't do anything.

They have their security and they're actually not allowed to touch people.

Well, I think we touched on this the other way.

They've pretty much decriminalized.

Yeah, shoplifting now.

Anyway, we have.

Anyway, listen, I say let's stick with us at Luana and we'll bring the jazz.

Right?

I don't Know why she's put massage.

Okay, so let's just carry.

We'll move on.

I know because of my weird massage in Dubai, but we'll talk about that another time.

Okay, Fine.

Yes.

Remember that.

I do.

Right.

Do you want.

We'll.

We'll keep people hanging on for that.

We'll keep you hanging.

We'll keep hanging for that.

And I tried to get you to go and have fun, and then you didn't.

You should have done that was out of order.

You put me through that ordeal.

I'll let you down.

Oh, I've got an update on it.

Okay.

I'm gonna tell you next week.

Okay.

Tell next week.

Anyway, it's time for.

Did you know without him.

Could I just say.

We didn't rehearse that.

This is how in sync we are now, Lou.

Like I am.

I'm freaking myself out.

Alinor as well.

We just.

Is there a double act like us?

No.

No, there really isn't.

We dress the same.

We sound the same.

We've got the same socks.

We don't have the same gunt.

Mine is called size of My husband's A dog.

A dog.

We swap sperm.

I've given you my husband's sperm in your coffee this morning.

Oh, don't.

That made me sick.

Right?

Elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.

Good Lord.

And a blue whale's heart is the size of a car.

I mean, that's huge.

That's a lot of love.

A lot of love from a whale.

Oh, that is a lot of love.

Blue whales are the largest creatures to ever roam the Earth.

Do you want a whale?

Yeah, you do.

You are our very own Veruca Salt.

Do you want a whale?

Whale?

Pop a little whale in the lake.

No, it wouldn't fit, would it?

Probably wouldn't fit, babes.

No.

It'll be too shallow.

Big.

Big.

You know when you see.

Sometimes I like an animal fat, you know?

Yeah.

You know, like on reels where you see, like, I get really freaked out when I see, like, you know, paddle borders and then.

Yeah.

Massive way.

I know.

I'm like.

I would actually die of a panic attack.

I would.

I would.

For real.

Because I don't really like the sea.

I hate the sea.

Yeah.

I'm a land mammal.

Yeah.

I can't do that.

And I like doing lamb mammal things.

I can't even go on donuts anymore.

You know, like when you go, oh.

I can go on that.

Remember when I can water ski?

You know, we went when we got.

A yacht this year.

Oh, by the way, guys, we're going.

On a yacht again.

Yeah, we said that.

Well, are you gonna do the.

Are you gonna do the.

The jet?

That's a big slide on this.

Yeah, I know, I know.

I'll do that.

And also, you know, when we did like last time, you got those little rocket things you hold on to, then they like buzz you around.

I don't mind if I keep moving in the water.

Yeah, because then you' It's.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm fine if I'm doing that.

Otherwise then I freak out.

Maybe we should do a podcast Live from the yacht.

That would be quite fun.

We've got Lucy there.

Lucy Cave from Lorraine.

She could be our heat man, our producer.

Yeah, well, we could do like some kind of live stream thing for our YouTube.

Let's do that live.

Not live.

Let's do that.

That would be really fun.

We should do a little drunk 21 questions with.

We've done that before.

Guys.

We're also really excited today because we've got a Luana announcement.

You may have seen it as we just.

Just cunningly dropped it over the weekend, but we have listened to you, loads of you, enjoyed the big festive night in and we've got Valentine's coming up in a couple of weeks.

You know what we thought.

You know what?

Love is in the air.

Luanna is in the air.

We're all about friendship.

So we are exclusively hosting the big Galentine's night in.

It's going to be on Thursday 13th February, 8pm Fully interactive.

Lots of fun, lots of games.

Got a few surprises in store.

So many of you loved it.

We love doing it for you as well.

So listen, no need to be sad and single this Valentine's.

Just embrace your mates, embrace us, and if you want to get your tickets to come and join us, please get them right now.

All you have to do is go to everythingluana.com or Luanna Live and we'll see you there.

Right, we've got a message from Anonymous.

I called you, Pat.

Curry Sauce confession from the Secret Santa.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

This is the update of the update that we've all been waiting for.

Guys.

My God.

Guys.

Okay.

This is the update of the update of the Curry sauce woman that went viral.

You need to listen to the rest of this episode.

Basically a little bit of history.

We had a thing in Viro from Viro.

Message from a lady that went viral.

She makes.

Been making this curry for her family for 20 years.

They think it's Amazing.

It's actually a shop bought curry sauce.

And she's of Indian heritage, so it's a really big deal.

Really big deal.

Yeah.

So then for Christmas, their family had a secret Santa and she got a jar of the exact curry sauce which from her sister in law.

She then wrote into us and was like, think I've been rumbled.

This is now.

She didn't know it was this.

She suspected it was because it was Secret Santa.

She didn't know who it was.

For real.

Right, here we.

Here we go.

The update.

To the update.

To the update.

Hi, ladies.

Oh my God.

Where do I start?

I've been forced to email in as I'm scared.

What?

Marcia?

It was actually Miriam, but Marcia is catchy.

The curry lady will do next.

Our next family curry night is on Friday 31st January.

So I hope my sister in law hears this before then and it's just happened.

Her technology skills are as good as her cooking skills.

Oh, it's happening this week.

It's happening this week.

Shit.

So I don't think I will be rumbling an extravagant reveal as I type this.

The Taylor Swift song.

Look what you made me do is playing round and around in my head.

Marcia, look what you made me do.

I'm really sorry and we love you, but you outed yourself.

Here we go.

Okay, deep breath, breath.

Here's the thing.

What?

Yes, yes, it was me who gave you the curry sauce at Christmas.

I was intrigued if you would spill then.

Especially after I sent you the podcast episode.

And I have to say, you lied like a pro.

The thing is.

This is so good.

My God, this is so good.

The thing is, it's much, much worse than you lying to my brother for 20 years.

Oh my God.

Here we go.

Here goes.

And please don't hate me.

Rewind back to May 2004.

I remember the date as it's also your official anniversary.

Go on.

My brother was really excited to go to your flat as you were cooking him dinner.

He called me the next day to ask for advice.

He said the evening went really well and you had made a curry.

The dilemma he had was when he went to take the empty wine bottle to the bin, he noticed.

Oh, my empty glass, jar of curry sauce at the bottom.

He didn't know why, but he lifted it out of the bin and had a sniff.

Yep, it was the same smell that he'd just eaten.

Stop it.

Thinking how funny it was and assumed that you would fess up.

He came back to the table and ask you more questions to see if.

You would complain it's like an ITV who done its psychological drama, but instead.

You gave an Oscar performance about the history of this.

About the history of this recipe.

And the evening ended with you inviting my brother's family over to try your family's secret recipe passed down by generations of women.

Oh, my God.

The joke's on her.

It's been on her.

She's been.

Keep going, Lou.

Never have I been so excited about a message on Luanna.

He was asking me advice what to do as he was really quite concerned about how much detail you gave about the curry and that it was this secret family recipe.

He felt awkward, so he went along with it as he really liked you.

He didn't want to cause you any upset in your new relationship at the time.

I advised him to go along with it as I'm sure once you got to know each other better, you would confess.

I'm not sure how the curry night became a regular thing and my brother and I went along with the story to our parents who still don't know about the recipe being passed down for generations.

They don't know, but they know.

They know they know and she doesn't know that they know.

They know and they've known the whole time.

They've all been.

He knew before the lie.

They've all been playing this out for 20 years.

This is brilliant.

Over the years, we've wondered if either of you would tell or if we would tell you that we knew.

The biggest giveaway is we know you can't cook.

Please imagine what I write next is like the tick tock suspect on the right, which we did on our Suspect made a roast chicken dinner and didn't take the chicken out of the plastic packaging whilst cooking it.

Suspect insisted that the bottom tray of the Viennetta ice cream was chocolate and spent far too long trying to slice through it until accepted it was plastic, not chocolate.

Suspect should have shares in toaster companies as she has set on fire at least five toasters in the last five years.

Suspect attempts to make homemade bread.

It was like a brick.

And was even rejected by the birds and the pigeons who eat anything.

So my brother and I decided a long time ago to just never say anything as at least the shop brought curry sauce was edible.

Some are very nice.

Yeah.

Although can you please stop putting.

Oh, that is so tricky.

Savage.

Can you please stop putting bloody bananas in it?

And when we first read this story, Anna, we were like, oh.

Oh.

She was really proud of the bananas.

It's the one thing she put in of a Patak sauce or whatever she uses.

They don't like the bananas.

They don't like the bananas, babes.

Right.

So your sister in law goes on to say.

We promise not to tell my mum and dad your dirty little secret.

You dirty pig.

Dirty.

If you also forgive us for enabling.

You're over.

This is just so good.

Enabling.

Your over exaggerating preparation of your curry for 20 years.

Now you will have so much time on your hands.

Do us all a favour and sign up for a cooking class.

Perhaps that will be next year's Christmas present.

This is a great family.

Please keep me anon and call me Pat.

Yes.

After the infamous Pataks curry.

That's what it was all along.

Can I just say.

Can I put this out there?

Yeah.

Can we get Mrs.

Patak or some other kind of Indian cooking influencer to come to Luana hq?

I want to invite this woman.

Yes.

And I want her to do it for our YouTube cook.

Him.

Do you know what?

I can't remember her name.

There's a very lovely lady that I did a cooking course.

Indian Chef.

See, we're gonna.

We'll put this out there.

No.

The MasterChef.

And she cooked at my friend Etti's dinner party.

She's a.

She's a Luana.

And I'm really sorry I can't remember your name.

And I've met you and you've cooked for me.

I'm pretty sure it was MasterChef.

You're on.

And I know that you listen to Luanna if you do and you're willing to come to my house and do a cooking lesson for.

We don't know where this lady is in the country.

But we'll make this happen.

We're gonna make this happen for our YouTube.

Yeah, we would.

What?

Who are you?

What should I.

Who are you?

What's your name?

Please write into IMO or send me a DM'd.

Each other.

Yes.

We want to get you and we want to do a cooking.

And we' the sister in law too.

With a proper Indian chef that can help you cook an actual proper curry from scratch.

We then need to blend together the initial viral story with the second one with this one with the cooking and make it into a whole episode.

This is basically of indie Indian fashions.

Yeah.

Indian Confessions from a Indian Family.

This is probably like this is your life.

And you know what?

We want to see this through right until the end.

You sound like a great family.

The fact that you can have that.

This great.

There is nothing better than an Indian family.

When I lived in Derby, all our neighbors were Indian and we had the best crack with all these Indian neighbors.

I've got an idea.

Sorry, I've just realized I don't know her personally but my friend, you'll know who is as well.

Dr.

Amir Khan.

Who is the doctor on the telly.

Does you know all the morning shows.

But he always goes on about Mama Khan and I know Amy.

I could even text Amir if you want.

Now, Mama Khan, his.

His mom is quite famous on his Instagram for being.

She's just like a really traditional.

She's a trading.

We need a trad Indian.

So if we could.

If I can ask Dr.

Amir if maybe we can borrow Mama Khan and she can do like a proper curry for.

We need to this family bag.

I'm gonna.

I'm genuinely gonna ask or unless if you're the lady that you met from after Chef.

Right.

We're gonna make this happen.

I'll be able to find out her name.

Quite.

Can I just say, never in the history of Luana have I been more invested in a family story and the fact that we are the gatekeepers.

Lou of this dialogue.

So good.

It's so good.

That's just made my day.

No wonder Remo was pissed off she was missing today's episode.

Emo, you've got fomo, man.

Well up, man.

Yeah, well to fairly.

She's read it all already so she knows.

Message from Anonymous.

So, Jemima.

Hi, girls.

I wish I would have called one of my kids that.

I mean, I think you just need eight more kids, Lou, because you do.

Like a lot of names.

Hi, guys.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 11 years and have two kids in a house.

Pardon me.

We get on amazingly.

He's like my best friend and I can't imagine not being with him.

Amazing.

My dilemma is he has had X formerly Twitter for years and I've never been following him.

Can I just say that name?

It hasn't called.

It hasn't.

Cool.

It's basically everyone has called eggs.

Yeah.

So we might as well go back to just Twitter.

Exactly.

I've never been following him on there as I never felt the need.

He's always said he just uses it for news and it's never bothered me until a few nights ago.

I hate X.

I find it so toxic.

I find it very.

I came off that.

I used to use it all the time.

No, I don't use it.

Don't use it at all now.

Such a negative place.

It's so neggy.

We were just sitting together watching TV and he was on his phone on X Twitter.

I said to him, let me know, let me add you on X.

And he replied, no.

Now to me that was a red flag.

I agree, mate.

So I tried to search you on the site and nothing came up with his name.

When I asked him why I couldn't find him, he said, I can't have anything for myself.

You always want to know everything.

Yeah, this made me really want to know what he was up to on there.

So I told him if he had nothing to hide, then he should follow me on the site so I could see.

He did follow me to shut me up and I requested to follow him back.

But he left me hanging for a day.

And when he did finally accept me, he had cleared his whole page so it was completely empty except for a post he accidentally left saying, can't DM you.

Oh, his account name had nothing to do with his real name and was so, so private, like he didn't want it to be found.

When I asked him why he had cleared his whole page before he accepted my request, he said because some weird bots followed him and he thought I would go mad.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry, but please, your instinct is correct.

Come on.

I didn't buy the story.

And when I told him that I didn't believe him, he went absolutely mad and told me I was smothering him and not to talk to him.

Oh.

I mean, can I just say, that is the classic reaction of someone that is lying.

Dodgeball.

I felt like this was a deflection to turn it around on me.

Yeah, spot on, my darling.

When we did speak, he denied, tried everything for a few days and then out of the blue said, do you know what I was doing on X?

I was trying to message.

Oh, I was trying to message a transsexual for one of my mates in work to set him up, but I didn't want to tell you in case you didn't believe me.

Okay, I absolutely do not believe him.

I think he was using the site to message people behind my back.

When I asked him, why would you do that?

He said, if you don't believe me, just leave me and you don't stay with me.

Don't talk about it again because I can't be asked with it all.

So make your decision.

Oh, again, I feel he's deflecting.

Correct.

That is exactly what he is doing.

He's deflecting his text, his actual textbook.

Well, yeah, it is, but it's what he's been caught out cheating babes cheating through.

Through messaging.

Classic example.

Could I just say of someone that is basically a big caught out when they just throw the baby out with the bath water and go, your problem.

Leave me then if you don't believe me.

Yeah, because it puts the problem on.

You don't want to leave exactly.

Over something that you don't know.

It puts them back in a position of control.

This is classic.

I really don't know what to do.

Should I leave him?

Has he been cheating on me?

Do you think there is more?

I don't know.

It's eating me up inside as I have been faithful our whole relationship and would never think of hurting him in any way.

We have a mortgage and kids and financially I cannot afford everything without him.

He earns a substantial amount more than I do as I took a step back so he could have a better career and I have been there for our children.

I do love him so much but now I don't trust him and it hurts me how he can do this to me.

Me.

I thought we were in such a good place in our relationship.

My mum has not long passed away and he has been an amazing support through it and he's told me how we should get married next year.

Also, side note, he did cheat on me a year into our relationship, which I always had a gut feeling about, but he only admitted it to me last year and cried saying he'd never do it again.

Please help.

Any advice is appreciated.

I feel like he might be doing it again.

Look, what I would say is it takes a lifetime to build trust and a second to break it and that's exactly what he's done.

You found out he's cheated in the past.

So we're with, you know, with this is, this is, you know, for him and just, just laying out on, on the table here.

Of course you don't trust him and he has to accept and appreciate of why you would not trust him given the past and then given the shadiness of what he's doing.

You know, my advice is I wouldn't completely check out of your relationship now, but I do think you need to have some very strong discussions over honesty and trust can be rebuilt.

But he has got to play ball and he has fully, fully got to be transparent.

I would actually say to him personally, well, I do this with, I do marriage, marriage counseling, couples counseling.

You can, you can get a relationship back on track but you have to be completely transparent.

Even the that you're scared to say, you just have to say it.

If he is prepared to just tell you everything and you are able to perhaps deal with that, process it, and there is a chance for you guys, then you can do it.

But if he won't be transparent with you, then please don't get into a relationship where the trust is fractured.

Definitely don't get bloody marriage.

I think you need to just say this to him.

Look, I don't believe you.

You have an opportunity to be truthful.

If you don't, well, then I might have to reconsider our relationship.

The thing is, he doesn't want you to know the truth because he thinks it'll end the relationship.

But if he has an opportunity to know that if he really does tell you the truth, you are more likely to give it a chance.

He's already given it.

It's already cheated one.

Well, exactly.

He has to be very, very.

He has to be very open.

And I would encourage you to be quite clear on that boundary what you need in order to stay.

But what will happen if that doesn't happen and what the alternative will be.

And if you do end up leaving that relationship, trust me, there will be a way through that as well.

Good luck.

We've got another message from Anons who've called you.

Thomasina.

Hey, I have a story for your podcast.

So I started my new job as a care assistant and after about four months I was doing an evening call.

So I asked the elderly gentleman to walk with his frame to the bathroom.

I put my gloves on and pulled his trousers and pull up pad down.

As I did this, I said, oh, you've been to the proper toilet.

He replied, no, I haven't.

I said, yes, you have.

So I pulled the two lumps of hard poo out.

Oh, bless carers, they're so good, aren't they?

And pulled the two lumps of hard poo out from under his bottom.

But they wouldn't budge.

I pulled a little more and the elderly man said, what are you doing?

Oh my God.

The elderly man said, what are you doing?

I decose to look and realized I was pulling on his balls.

I then said, oh, it's nothing, you're very clean.

You can pull up now and go back to the lounge to watch tv.

Tugging his nose, thinking it was a chug nut.

Oh my God, stop.

And then she just sort of, sort of ghosted the the situation and just sent him on his way.

Here you go, Pat.

Pat.

What are you doing?

Tug, tug, tug, tug.

Oh, God, that's a classic.

Classic.

Oh, remember, if you Want to get in touch?

You can email us Luana@everyTHING moana.com or drop us a WhatsApp on 07452 double 6947.

Right, okay.

We've had some listener feedback on this, guys.

So we talked about this last week, the first drug consumption room in Glasgow.

We were talking about it and we were so like all over the place with our thoughts on it.

And the user figures have been revealed.

So the UK's first drug consumption clinic.

It's been used more than 130 times since it opened last week.

Wait, let me work out how many times in a day.

Okay, so 130 times over seven days.

What do you think?

130 divided by seven is.

Anna Williamson 18.5.

There you go.

I was gonna say that the safer drugs consumption facility in Glasgow.

So it opened 13th of Jan and it let people.

If you listened to the episode last week, you'll know the story.

Let people take substances under supervision.

The counselor for the city said it had been an intense first week for staff and the service being used 131 times.

There were no medical emergencies resulting from drug use within the facility known as the Thistle in the first week.

Now the 131 figure includes people who have used the service on more than one occasion.

Now it's hoped that this clinic can reduce fatal and non fatal overdoses by providing a safe and clean place for people to use drugs, but also giving people further support to cope with their addiction.

As well as safer injecting facilities, users were provided with wound care, clean injecting equipment and naloxone as required.

Wonder what an allotment?

Not too sure.

A spokesman for the facility said that some users had already engaged with housing and drug treatment support.

Well, that's really possible because that was, that was our concern.

They were saying that there wasn't any financial support.

Yeah.

So listen, it's made a promising start.

It has.

They're delighted that people have been using it.

It's kind of a safe hygienic place.

Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think this is important because this, this goes on from what we were saying, Lou.

They've said, you know, we know this is not a silver bullet, but having a facility that is safe and hygienic and medically supervised will go a long way towards reducing drug related overdoses, injection related wounds, infections, and the negative impact that injecting outdoors has on local communities, which we fully were on board with.

We were so like open about all this.

Well, this has been Debated for a long time.

It was first, first proposed in 2016, so years and years.

So.

But, but it's very expensive.

So the running costs, just over three years are expected to reach nearly £7 million.

That's very exciting when you think it's been used, okay, it's only the first week, but it's.

It's been used 131 times in the first week, so about 18 times a day.

But that hasn't been 131 people because it's been used by the same people multiple times.

It's a lot of money to spend on not that many people, isn't it?

And I still think that it could be that 7 million, you know.

Well, let's see.

Well, well, we asked for your input and it says in here in the script and a lot of you wrote in, so.

And as always, guys, we like this to be really good, healthy debate where we can all share our opinions in a really safe and non judgmental way.

So here we go.

It says, a note to listeners, IMO has had to cut down the emails as there was a lot of great stuff.

Stuff, but we just haven't got time to include all of it.

So thanks to everyone who did message in.

What's the first one we got?

Lulu.

So, Mr.

Person says hello.

Someone who lives in Glasgow here, putting in my two pence per the new Thistle drug project.

Right.

I'm a normal, functioning member of society.

I run my own business, have a nice comfy life.

And also my mother is a recovered heroin addict.

Okay, I think the vital part of information you're missing here is context.

Glasgow city center is a dump.

The entire town, I thought was quite nice when we went on tour.

Yeah, the entire town, from the center to the Tron gate, which is about a 15 minute walk, is littered with garbage, needles, tinfoil and drug addicts.

They are everywhere.

Wow.

You can walk for five minutes and see multiple people who have lost their legs due to drug abuse.

Wow, that's really bad.

And this is someone whose mother is.

Recovering heroin addicts and they actively live.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they live.

But why aren't they spending the money on cleaning the.

Cleaning the road?

Well, let's see.

There is an alley in Glasgow where drug addicts scrape dust from a brick wall to sell to other drug addicts because it looks quite like heroin.

The drug problem here is absolutely terrifying.

The purpose of the room is simple.

The addicts won't die on their own in the street, which by the way is also a common sight.

Personally, in the last Couple of years I've called ambulances on men who had overdosed and I know friends who have done the same.

The underfunding is the issue.

People can be referred to n a Narcotics Anonymous, but if the structure isn't there to support them, the chances of recovery are.

Of course, of course, of course.

Personally, I think if they can be cared for in a warm space with clean needles, medical staff and any help, then it's worth it.

Surely if one person's life is saved.

Then that's enough great feedback.

I do great.

But I still think that spending 7 million pounds to potentially save one person's life is a little bit extravagant.

When you look at.

I don't know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna like.

Well, I just think what those people contribute to society is that, is it worth 7 million?

I guess that's the question.

And, and, but then who are we to say whether whose life is worth.

Absolutely.

A life is a lie.

Worth more.

But.

Right, right.

And I also, I also think excellent context as you say, because we don't know, we don't know Glasgow and thank you for that message because yeah, we don't see what's going on.

The next message in.

Hi Luana.

A friend recently listened to latest episode and knowing my background, asked me to write in and share my views on drug consumption rooms.

So here I am.

I'm loving all this people.

Yeah, thanks guys.

First of all, I want to clarify that calling these spaces drug facilitation rooms can be misleading.

Reading the term might suggest that we are encouraging or facilitating drug use, but that is not the intention at all.

These are harm reduction spaces designed to ensure that people who use drugs do so as safely as possible, minimizing the risk of overdose, disease transmission and antisocial behavior.

That is a very key point actually, which we hadn't previously discussed.

It's about meeting people where they are at, not forcing them to change their behavior overnight, but ensuring that they are supported in the safest way possible.

These consumption rooms are not new.

In fact, they have been successfully implemented many countries across, across Europe where drug policies tend to be more progressive and evidence based.

These countries are far ahead of us in addressing addiction and substance use in more compassionate, non judgmental ways.

Fair.

They recognize that the war on drugs has failed and that criminalization only harms individuals and communities.

These rooms save lives.

By providing a controlled, sterile environment, we can drastically reduce the number of drug related deaths as well as the transmission of diseases like hiv.

Additionally, they reduce the burden on the NHS by preventing overdoses and minimizing the need for emergency intervention.

Well, that's what I was saying to you about our local Annie which is very, very overrun with.

With.

With addicts that are in there a lot recently.

When I've been as someone who works in an alcohol and drug service specializing in supporting individuals with opioid dependency, I see firsthand how people's circumstances can lead them.

Yeah, that's fair.

To.

To use substances as a coping mechanism.

Fair?

I don't judge that to be fair.

I don't.

I don't either because I've seen that firsthand.

Some people are in terrible states knock through their own fault.

Society often judges people who use drugs but many of them are dealing with trauma, adverse childhood experiences, a ACE and systemic issues that we have failed to address.

Additionally, it's important to recognize how socioeconomic factors are contributing to these issues.

Yeah, that is important.

Understanding that people who use drugs often have deep rooted emotional pain and unmet needs could change the way we view addiction as a whole.

Whole.

Those individuals are often the most judged and unsupported in our society, yet they generally cause no harm to others beyond their own struggles.

Still, it is very, very true.

Still we expend so much energy policing and stigmatizing them instead of offering support and understanding.

Yeah, I think that's a fair point.

Finally, harm reduction isn't about seeing if these approaches work.

The evidence already exists.

Supported by decades of research and global success stories.

Countries like Holland and those in Scandinavia have led the way in harm reduction strategies with significantly lower rates of drug related crime, death and higher measures of quality of life compared to the uk.

I mean that can only be a good thing.

These countries demonstrate the long term benefits of prioritizing compassion and evidence based policies over criminalization.

There's so much we can learn from other countries that have embraced harm reduction and seen transformative results.

Results.

Many thanks.

A substance misuse specialist nurse.

I love my job but it's.

Gosh, I bet it is hard.

Fantastic piece of context there.

And I wonder why though when you go to countries like say Dubai for instance, there's no.

There's no.

You just don't see that there.

But do we know there's not or is it just that we only see it?

I mean maybe you know more about Dubai than I do, but is it because we're not.

We don't.

We only see what we want to see.

And often we go to these countries more as, as a holiday.

You know, we don't typically problem there.

Like it is here.

They don't have a crime problem there like it is here.

So why do we have all these problems?

But then I.

I agree with you.

But then I would.

But then I would also say I've got no idea how other countries in Europe truly are operating.

I mean, I know, for example, and all I've seen in Sicily, for example, where Alex comes from.

Yeah.

You know, when we've been into the capital, Palermo, I mean, we, I mean, there's some absolute proper degradation, you know, going on there now, you know, and you don't hear that reported.

And it's only when you live there and you hear, you go, Christ, you know, there's a real issue around certain, you know, issues, socioeconomic issues.

So I guess unless you're really in those countries, you don't, you don't see it.

We only see what we see.

Well, thank you.

Message.

You've got another message now.

Hey, ladies.

I just wanted to put a message across from the Monday's pod about the drug rooms.

I'm a previous class A user, on and off from 16 years old until 21.

That's so young, isn't it?

It's so sad.

Now I've been clean for nine years.

Well done.

Well done.

It's not hard to stay clean when you've got that, when you've had that as well and when you've got that addictive trait.

I mean, I wouldn't know.

I mean, I guess it's different for each individual, but well done.

I hope that didn't sound patronizing, me saying well done, but genuinely well done.

My personal opinion is I genuinely don't think these rooms will work.

I don't think there'll be enough trust for a drug user to not be reported for having an illegal substance.

I also don't think.

Yeah, that's true.

Because as long as, if you're not dealing though.

Yeah, but then they might be like, well, where have you bought it from?

And then I don't know.

I don't think they ask, they're asking questions like that though.

I also don't think unless these rooms are on every other street, they will not get used.

Well, that's what I think.

But they are being used.

Well, we got by many people.

I'd say 131 people in a week.

It's not 131 people.

Oh, oh, that's what it says.

It's 131 times it's been used for.

So it's 18 times a day.

Yeah, it could have 18 people using it 10 times.

Yeah.

True.

So it's not.

Which I think's right, because as soon as you get your smack, you want it in you.

So I also don't think unless these rooms are on every other street, they will not get used.

As a previous user and knowing users, you would not buy drugs.

This is what I just said.

Then walk, bike or drive, drive so many miles or minutes more to then get your fix.

They don't.

They want, they get it and they get it in straight on.

You want to do your drugs.

Yeah.

The minute they're in your hand.

I think the funding needs to go into support and help for people who genuinely want to get clean.

There is just no support for anyone who is trying to better themselves.

Right.

This is the issue.

All you're doing is sticking plaster, is facilitating the same.

And what we're hearing unanimously from all these messages from very different vantage points is the importance, importance of that actual compassion.

They would have been better off, you know, kitting out a few little mini buses, stripping the mini bus out and having mobile rooms and a driver and a nurse, a driver and a nurse in a little mobile minivan, having 10 of those that were driving around the city and it's always at this point, at that time, at that point, at that.

And then they could then go in the van and do it safely.

That would have been better.

It's the long term support it sounds like, doesn't it?

Anyway, so it says.

But also like you ladies have said, said you can't help someone who doesn't genuinely want the help.

You have to be 100 ready.

And Lou and I both know this from having people close to us to know that you have to be in that headspace.

I have been approached to become a drug worker, but in all honesty, I don't think I could deal with the user's, quite frankly.

Most users will attend appointments, tell the drug worker what they want here to be able to get the next prescription of methadone and be on their way to score again.

Yeah, I'm, I'm with you because of my experience.

It's just, you know, drug addicts are the worst liars you've ever come across.

The manipulation is unreal.

Just so.

Yes, I believe the money in those drug rooms would be much more beneficial to helping users and putting information to youngsters too.

Prevention is the key.

Right.

I'd love to out my personal story across.

I'd love to put my personal story across to show people about how there is a life to be lived on the other side of drugs and it's really worth it.

I no longer have to wake up and immediately think of how I'm going to earn a tenor so I can go and score.

I wake up pain free with a wonderful family and a business owner.

Good for you.

If anyone listening to the POD has any kind of addiction, please make that first step and speak to somebody as your life is worth it.

That's the best flipping great message.

Thank you for sharing that.

That is so powerful.

Thank you.

I am agree with you and and well done.

Right, we've got another message, last one.

So read the reader.

Thistle it's hard to help people engage in change if they' engaging with services.

A lot of people aren't due to the fear of criminalization, hopelessness and various countless other factors and any opportunity to engage them is a win.

This being one of them.

Sometimes that window to get someone to engage in change is very small and we're more likely to get them if they're alive and not dead from an overdose due to decriminal, due to criminalization and in the end dead from an overdose.

The Thistle would also be testing people's drugs to make sure it's what they think it is to reduce risk too.

Do we need to help people where they are first in order to help them move towards and build motivation to change?

Remember, these people are criminalized and don't feel worthy of help.

Often I don't work in substance services but in mental health with other life threatening behavior from Anonymous.

Thank you.

Yeah, another very interesting point and I think overall, you know, thank you everyone.

That time will tell.

Yeah, time will tell and everyone really felt quite passionately about this as we did too.

The feedback was amazing and we love a good home.

Healthy debate on Nirana.

So if we ever do talk about a story that you want to get involved in, please do send your emails in because we do read them and we love to get and this is.

What'S so important actually about what we do because yeah, often we're on all kinds of sides of the fence and and that really helps us to understand.

So thanks everybody and yeah, we'll see how it all plays out.

Right, let's move on.

It's time for it's the Widow of the Week.

Right Brogan.

Hi Luana.

Am I the weirdo of the week?

I'm 31, live with my partner and about to be married, but if I ever stay over at my mum's house, when I get up in the morning, I will climb into bed with her.

Oh, okay.

My stepdad will Even bring us up drinks, breakfast and we can chill in bed for a few hours, chatting.

So lovely.

Scrolling.

Or this week we plan separate holidays.

My honeymoon and her Christmas.

I don't know anyone else who would do this at my age, but she's my, like my best friend and it's one of my favorite things.

Things.

No need to keep me anonymous.

I'm Brogan from Nottingham.

I don't think that's weird.

I think that is so lovely and so special and memories you will cherish forever.

And I do this.

Do you?

Yeah.

I mean, I don't get into my.

If I go away with my mum, if we do a Japanese night or something, we often will share a bed.

Yeah.

And I will in the morning, scooch up to my mum, have a little snuggle and a cuddle.

We'll have a little cup of tea whilst we're watching.

I'm not a cuddly person.

No, you're not.

No.

Actually my mum isn't fun enough, but I force her to have.

I think it's lovely.

And I have a little snuggle with my mum and it's really lovely.

I think that's.

And I'm 43, so.

There you go.

Right, we've got Shelly and Dan in next.

We're not sure if your names are real or not.

Is this weird?

I'm totally in love with my boyfriend and think he's absolutely gorgeous, ripped and could just squidge him anytime and kiss his face off.

The other day I watched him get out of bed and walk naked to the en suite, looking gorgeous, which aroused me.

I heard him take a wee, so I approached him also naked and feeling hot, pressed myself against him from behind as he stood finishing his Wii and reached reached round to do the customary man shake after a P to remove any drips for him.

As I shook him sensually, his beautiful member grew in my hand, swelling to the this like a novel, like Jilly Cooper, swelling to the thickness and length I desired.

And so I thought, game on.

So I spun him round, craftily lowering the toilet seat for him to sit on and then straddled him, taking him inside my lasting pussy.

It's a porno.

She's used a P word.

I don't know.

I don't feel very comfortable with that of a morning.

We then started to writhe rhythmically, going for the full on sex in the toilet.

It was hot and totally gorgeous as we snogged and we rocked.

Suddenly I heard a.

What?

What?

No.

Suddenly I heard a splash and an aroma Arose of the night before curry, a complete air buffet.

He had taken a shit.

So the toilet seat was up and he was on the actual pan.

His toilet seat was up and he was on the.

She then put the toilet seat down and sat on him.

She says, I put the toilet seat down.

I thought she meant the lid down, but no, no, she's just put the sitting bit down.

The sitting bit down on the hole.

She's on him writhing around.

He's had a mid shag.

Yeah, he's a shagger.

How can you have a boner and do a shit at the same time?

So many questions, she said.

I was horrified but too near my big orgasm to stop completely.

We continued to fruition on the shit smell and the.

Oh, this is like.

What's his name?

Francesco from last week.

What was his name?

We continued to fruition for the remaining few seconds as he emptied his man gravy and I also orgasmed.

I then kissed him, dismounted, flushed and went back to the bedroom.

Not a word was said and it has never been discussed.

But sex on the toilet, first thing is now a regular thing.

Is it weird?

What do you think?

Think I think it's weird.

How is it?

Well, it's weird they didn't say anything.

He just did a mid shag and then they both came.

She just flushed and went, that's it for me.

No, no.

It's a no from me.

That's weird.

But listen, I would just say you do you, honey, it's clearly working for you.

Clearly.

If I copped a whiff, I want to know of a post curry when you're at any point.

No, that that big eye be fizzling out.

Oh, there's no big O, mate.

Well, there you go.

Big elbow.

This episode has been gold, by the way.

Can I just say, gold limo you did you over delivered today.

This has been absolute gold.

Oh dear.

Right, normally at this time of the week you either have a rant or a happy moment.

No ranting today.

I'm not got a run.

I mean, may I say, the happy moment is just.

Just the quality Lufanians who delivered today.

You guys are bringing it.

Bringing it, bringing it.

There's no rant.

She wants a whale in her lake.

I want a whale in my leg.

I do have a little bit of a run and I, you know about this because I did it.

I kind of had a little bit of a moan on our Luana group the other day of WhatsApp about voice notes.

Oh yeah, you don't like a voice note?

I don't like voice notes.

I'm busy.

I'm not going to listen to your voice notes when I'm around people because quite frankly, it's rude and I never know what someone's going to say when they send me a voice.

Voice note and I don't want to do that.

It's rude.

I'm normally around people, so I just don't want voice notes anymore.

Stop sending them.

Looking at you, Anna.

Looking at your agent Sam.

But then I sent Agent Sam a voice note this morning and she replied and put, sorry, I'm not listening to that voice.

No.

And I was like, yes, Sam, that was well deserved.

I would, I, I hear you.

But sometimes you know what?

Hate them.

Well, but then you do.

I don't listen.

So you're not consistent.

Consistent, no.

So if you were consistent, I'm not.

Going to do voice notes anymore and I don't want anyone to send me any.

Fine, if you're consistent, we'll be consistent.

Okay, don't send me voice notes.

Fine.

Done.

You haven't done it recently.

I'd never do voice notes.

Yeah, I'm not a voice note to.

Not normally.

I find them, I don't know as a voice notor.

Yeah, I don't listen to them.

Well, there you go, because I'm busy.

Just, I just want to read those.

In glass houses this month.

Well, it was this morning.

Well, I did like Agent Sam's clap back at me.

Me.

Yeah, I love a clap back on the girl.

Go on.

A girl.

You see, we got a clap back at the Zis when she's dishing it out and we do, we put her back in her place.

So we'll be sending you voice.

You do know you've now, now you've now now ignited a flurry of voice.

Notes because it's a waste of your breath and energy.

It could be something juicy.

Well, I'm not listening to it and see.

Well, I'm not going to wait and see because I'm not going to listen to it.

Well, okay.

So don't waste your breath.

Okay, fine.

Done.

That is it, guys.

We'll be back on Monday, but of course you don't have to wait until then because on Thursday, Thursday we have Luana totally extra.

But for that though, we do need you Lufanians so we would love you, adore you, in fact, to send your email to luana@everyTHINGluanna.com Our WhatsApp number to send a voice note.

Just not Louisa.

We like voice notes on the pod.

Yeah, she's just talking about life in general.

It's my life.

It's just she's up and down so.

It'S always a load of that.

Like doesn't even need to be said.

Well, I'll, I'll, I'll remind you of that when you next time.

I'm not gonna ever send a voice out to you ever again.

There it is.

The number is 07452 Double 6947.

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Thanking you for a belting episode.

Adios.

Over and out.