Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, and very happy to be

spending some time with you today on this snowy, April,

winter day in Canada, can you hear in my voice that I'm slowly

but surely getting sick and tired of winter? I don't know,

maybe you do. All right Long story short, I make no claims to

be a health care practitioner or any professional health advice

person, if you are on medication, if you are seeing a

therapist, please don't make any changes based on what I say

here. Because what I'm sharing is my experience, my opinions,

and especially my tools that helped me throughout my 30s when

I started my healing journey. And it is tools that I wish I

had in my teenage years, and especially in my 20s. But it's

okay, it's not too late. And I can hopefully offer some

shortcuts to people out there who listen to this. And, yeah,

if you get value out of the episodes, please share with

people you care, or send a review on Apple podcasts and

helps tremendously for other people to find the podcast and

then to also feel empowered, inspired and especially less

lonely. We want to make sure to, to connect with people around

the globe. And it's amazing to connect with people from Sri

Lanka, from Nepal, from Germany, my beloved country, and all over

Europe. And I love that you. Yeah, send donations, it makes

it all so much easier. It's a one, one woman show here. I'm

doing it all. And I want to make sure that I spare you, you know,

sponsors or weird advertisement. So it is going to stay free of

advertising. But to make it sustainable, please consider

sending a little bit of your donation. And for the people

who've done that already. I love you, I care for you. And I'm so

motivated and will keep showing up. Today I want to talk about

resistance, the resistance, I have a request for an episode

that I got a week ago or so and I will make sure to address it.

We'll be talking about putting a phone away at times and how

people react to that. So if we want to make sure to, you know,

be more present with the people who are sitting right in front

of us, and we put our phone away and then somebody wants to reach

us and then they get upset. How do we deal with feelings of

guilt? And how do we deal with overall like our phone

addiction. I'm number one phone addict, coffee addict, pineapple

and avocado addicts and I just love talking about that because

it's important to be to be aware of those little weird addictions

that we have and phone and screen addiction is a thing is a

part of pretty much every every person's life unless they are

very disciplined. And we can learn discipline with our

phones. Alright, without further ado, I want to talk about

resistance today resolving releasing resistance. So many of

us are constantly trying to control and to find out before

anything can start. What an outcome could be. And when you

ask people what they desire, what they want in their life,

and I not only experienced that with my beloved coaching

patients clients, but also with friends or family, they usually

name what they do not want to see in the future. So for

example, I asked somebody where do you want to go? vacationing

like travel? Where do you want to travel to next? Well, last

time I went to Mexico, and it wasn't that awesome, so I'm not

going to go back there. Also my vacation in Italy two years ago,

I didn't really like the hotel, so I'm not going to go there.

And I listened patiently. But then can't help. But point out

that they didn't really answer my question. I asked what you

wanted to do, and not what you don't want to do. And it is a

weird thing in the Western world. I'm just thinking, like,

that's why I had to hesitate, because maybe it's in other

cultures, too. But I noticed that in a North American

culture, extremely, that when you ask somebody, what they

want, that they first tell you all the things they don't want.

And that is not how you get to your goal. That is not how

you're going to have a fulfilled relationship. And especially in

relationships, if you keep pointing out the things that you

don't like. So if every time you open up your mouth, it is about

something that you want to change or differently, to see

being done differently or control, then your partner is

going to get tired and sick of you very quickly. On the

opposite side of the ad. If you point out things, whenever stuff

goes right, then you create a beautiful positive momentum and

a relationship. And things can flow more nicely. But let just

the relationships be relationships for a moment. And

let's just focus on you right now. And think about how we

resist. To relax, we resist to surrender. We want to have

advice right away, we want to have solutions right away. We

want instant gratification. We don't like waiting, we are

impatient. And we resist the idea that things could be

unfolding. Naturally, we resist the idea that magic can happen,

that things can happen that we could have never anticipated. So

with this episode today, I just want us to be aware for a second

on how controlled our life and surroundings actually are. And

how this is not. Reality in in life when it comes to, you know

the important stuff and life. Yeah, you can predict the

weather, you can predict maybe when the next train is going to

Berlin from Munich, you can predict when the next hockey

game is going to be in Calgary. But what I mean is, life in

itself cannot be predicted. This is where death is such a huge

teacher because death sometimes comes out of nowhere and teaches

you how valuable life is without death. I don't know if if we

were not to die. I don't know how much more wasteful we would

be. It'd be pretty scary actually. But yeah, going back

to resistance is that we resist the chance that something could

unfold beautifully. Without us controlling it. We resist rest

and relaxation. For most people. It is very, very tough to get

into a relaxed state without numbing themselves with Netflix

or alcohol or porn, or whatever you can think of that is nice

and distract distracting and an awesome dopamine hit.

It's it's really a tough thing to do. I put a finger on. But I

see it in my yoga classes here and the year there relaxation

classes I meant. It is hard for people to at first realize,

okay, I'm going to keep my eyes closed, I'm going to move

slowly, I'm not going to push myself. And I'm going to use the

pillows and bolsters in a way that I feel supported and can

relax. For some people, this is really hard to do. And then

after 10 minutes, 20 minutes, they start melting into these

bolsters. And it's just so beautiful to see that, yeah,

actually, when there is a space created for people where they

can relax and let go, it is easier. But when you are at

home, when you have your monkey mind, spinning, and spinning and

spinning, when you have all distractions around you, it is

very tough to let go of control and to let go of certain thought

patterns and belief systems. So what I invite you to do in the

future. And that's actually a very cool thing to do. And it

changed so much in my life. And it was inspired by a Jim Carrey

movie called Yes, man movie that I highly recommend. I will make

sure to put it in the show notes is a guy who kept saying no,

kept rejecting, kept resisting, and something happens to him, I

forgot what it was. And then all of a sudden, he starts saying

yes, to absolutely everything. And his life changes so much.

Because he now is open to novelty to surprises. And he has

a trusting heart, all of a sudden, at the beginning of the

film of first half of the film, you can tell that he's very

rigid, he has his heart closed, he resists to see beauty, he can

only see beauty by what he knows and what feels familiar. But as

soon as that event like I think it was a pretty traumatic event

that happens to him, changes him, he starts opening up his

heart, and starts to be curious, and starts to be understanding

and loving. And it's just so beautiful to see. And I wish

that for everybody. I wish that for myself, for the family

members I love and my friends and all my listeners here that

you allow for beautiful little surprises you allow to just

wander through your city without looking at your phone, and to

look at the architecture to try new foods to talk to people that

you would otherwise never talk to. And to be just curious about

what life has to offer for you. And to know that it is not

controllable. It's all just little moments of magics that

happen that you can only see with an open heart. It is when

you get invited to a party to a birthday to I don't know an art

gallery. And you think, Oh, I don't like art. I don't want to

go and dress up tonight or I don't want to do this like all

those anxiety excuses that come up because they want to keep you

in your little bubble, your little comfort zone. I hope that

over the next couple of days or maybe even weeks you can say yes

to a couple of things that in the past you would have said no

to. And of course it's not stupid things that will harm you

or cause death or injury to people around you or yourself.

But it is stuff that are things sorry, that are gonna pull you

out of your comfort zone and your ego, your little hurt ego,

your little ego that wants to be in control all the time that

wants you to stay on your couch and stay small is gonna rebel,

you're gonna get maybe even headaches or you want to catch

the flu. Right? The ego is so intelligent and can trick your

body really into feeling sick because it doesn't want to

change doesn't want to Get out of the comfort zone. But that

you remember my little episode here and maybe even watch that

Jim Carrey movie called Yes man, and then realize how beautiful

life can be when we just say a little more often. Yes to

novelty. All right, my love my dear one. I'm going to leave you

with that with all my love and care. If you have any episode

requests, please don't hesitate to contact me on Facebook,

Aurora Eggert or on Instagram Aurora coaching and I'd be more

than happy to connect. Alright, take really good care and yeah,

I'll be out there very soon again. Bye