Hi.

And welcome to another episode of celebrating small family businesses.

Today, we are celebrating David and Lisa Ask from Tennessee, I believe.

And, um, rather than name one company because David's got many irons in

the fire, I'm gonna just, we'll, we're just going to get into it.

So hi, David.

Hi, Lisa.

Welcome.

glad to be here.

Thanks for having us.

think I saw first, like your biggest piece is something that, uh, that

I've seen many, many times in my life and thought, I want one of those.

And it's a device that goes over thermostats to keep

people from messing with them.

Right.

Tell me about, tell me about that.

Okay.

So, you know, long story short, I was actually in facilities management with a

large telecom chain for about 17 years.

And, of course, in our retail stores and call centers and so on, we would use

thermostat, you know, guards or thermostat covers, whatever you want to call them.

You know, it's everybody gets the thermostat wars, right?

It doesn't matter if it's your office or house, everybody's

messing around with the thermostat.

issue, though, was, is Um, nobody, uh, yeah, that's right.

Pointing fingers.

but everybody has a hard time keeping up with those tiny keys.

so long story short, technically the, the invention was my brother in law's idea.

He called me one day and he said, you know, Hey David, where do I get

a stat guard with the combo lock?

He said, you know, are just losing these keys left and right.

Well, he and I of course started looking for a stat guard with a combo lock

because I knew immediately because I was, I had a portfolio of 150 stores

that I was, you know, kind of looking after and know, we used them everywhere.

I mean, some of our, you know, locations would have 20 thermostat guards in them,

depending on the, you know, the size of the call center or whatnot, or, you know,

a retail store might be two or three.

And, uh, And we couldn't find anybody who made one.

So technically we were the first ones in the world to have a

stat guard with a combo lock.

And, um, it's been, you know, this 10 year overnight success thing.

Right.

So, um, I, Lisa and I ended up buying him out a few years after we started the

company and, um, you know, fast forward, we're in about 3, 700 retail stores

and counting, so we're pretty excited to, you know, have been the kind of

accidental, uh, entrepreneurs and, You know, of course, when you get a couple

of wins, right, it, it starts to open up your imagination as to what's possible.

So, you know, now we're into all sorts of things, so

Wonderful.

So how do your roles, uh, how do you kind of, how do your strengths fall

and how do you separate your roles?

Yeah.

So David is always the idea guy, the dreamer, the big picture, 30, 000 view

kind of guy, and I am, um, Like my grandmother always used to describe

her husband, um, I'm holding onto a balloon that's up in the air, you

know, and so I keeping things grounded on the details, uh, the numbers, the,

um, the administrative type of person, and that just fits my personality.

So really our roles are pretty separate, um, but necessary.

And so we really, we really work well together because we're not crossing

over into each other's territory.

We let each other use their gifts really to the fullest.

And, uh, it's really been a good, a good.

Absolutely.

And I, it's so interesting.

I look back and, you know, I really wouldn't be doing what I'm doing,

you know, without Lisa's help.

I mean, from day one, I mean, I am such a, you know, a big idea person.

I love ideas.

I love sales.

I love people.

I remember, you know, like the member of that first season,

when we got into home depot.

com, you know, just the onboarding process to me was like going to Mars.

Like I just, you start looking at all the data that they're asking,

you know, not only just the.

The nomenclature around the product that you're going to be putting on

their site and insurance requirements.

And I mean, you name it, all that stuff.

I start looking at it.

I'm like, I'm out, you know, like I, I wouldn't do it unless I had somebody,

you know, sitting in that seat that could really help me, know, walk down that path.

Yeah.

I'm, I'm the 30, 000 foot girl and he's the one sitting there going,

yeah, I can put in my shoe size.

I'm the detail.

That's not a problem.

And I'm going, Oh no, I'm out.

It's kind of a love hate thing with the details for me, but uh, you know,

cause I can do it, but depending on the level of it, it gets wearing, you know,

I agree with that a hundred percent.

There are moments where we have to find experts that can help us.

And the two of us

Mm hmm.

the ideas and the Excel spreadsheets, we can come together, especially, but we're

always learning, which is another thing.

Mm hmm.

very open to learning and being educated on how to do things.

Huge key.

Huge key.

So, um, did you guys, were you well into your married life

when this opportunity came up?

Had you already figured all this out or was it simultaneous?

we had been married about 15 years.

So, uh, technically my company is Coram Global and it's, I mean, we're,

we probably started the company.

Maybe 12 or 13 years ago, but you know, largely the first season was a hobby.

um, yeah, I mean, we had been married at least 10 years.

Yeah.

The children were young.

I recall when the stat guard came out and we didn't have really any

idea kind of really what or how to market it, what to do with it.

So a lot of that, you know, he started getting ideas for, and we

were able to push forward, but I was kind of raising the toddlers

and kind of in that young stage.

So, uh, that manifested into, and it was probably, it was interesting too.

I think those early years, you know, I'm sure your listeners can relate if

they have a similar story in any way.

It's, you know, obviously being new parents at the time, you know, just that

alone can be really, really overwhelming, but here we are, you know, not just.

Trying to operate a lemonade stand on the corner, right?

We're, we're wanting to distribute product in 50 states, understand

everything from plastics, injection, molding, to supply chain management, you

know, to cashflow and everything else.

And I remember those first few years being really overwhelming.

It was, it was really hard just to keep day after day, just keep pressing in

Oh, I can only imagine.

It was it a little while before it became a full time gig.

So we, you know, he was working at the retail, you know, full time for a while.

So, you know, it was a transition.

It wasn't all at once.

So there was some security that we had and that we had our job jobs.

Um, and that gave us opportunity to get legs on the other career before

we got that fully up and going.

That's great.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a very different journey when you have to take a

leap of faith and just, you know, cut off the paycheck and Now what?

Exactly.

Yeah.

Nailed it.

Yeah.

So what do you love best about working with family?

That's one of our favorite questions.

Um, I'll jump into the deep end of the pool here.

You know, I think what's fascinating is, neither Lisa or I like conflict

and you know, you might imagine, right.

When you get married, you're not necessarily thinking about

your partner, you know, being a, Literally a partner, right?

Like, so Lisa and I just celebrated 25 years and there, there's no question.

Thank you.

There's no question that, you know, opposites attract and, you know, we, we,

we definitely, you know, kind of stand in the gap, you know, in each other's.

You know, stead in certain areas and so on.

But I think that, know, we've really had to learn how to communicate better.

You know, I, I'm, I'm for a long time, you know, I would, you know, treat Lisa,

like I would a colleague in business, you know, she'd be in her office.

We, we work at home here.

She would be in her office and I'd walk in and say, Hey, uh, we need to

send a purchase order to so and so.

Can you take care of that?

And I'd walk out and, you know, it was one of those things where

I think she was like, okay.

Yes, boss Yeah.

You know, hey sweetheart, like, you know, and you can speak to this, but yeah.

You're not, you're my husband, not my boss.

You know, be careful, you know, how you kind of walk into, you know,

my room as it were metaphorically.

And I, I think a lot of times I was, um, yeah, just kinda had

tunnel vision, didn't really think about how, know, to, uh, yeah.

To work with you, you know, in a way that was, um.

Just different.

And it is different.

You, you can't treat each other, you know, the same as you would treat an employee

or even a partner for that matter.

Yeah, certainly there's a learning curve.

We had to learn things that, that we do well together and things

that we don't and learn when we go outside and find other resources.

Like we learned early on that.

I can't make a video with him when he has an idea in his head and I'm videoing

and my ideas and opinions might not.

And it takes a long time and there's some emotions and it's,

it's sometimes it's not real pretty.

So we've learned early on that that's not something that we do together.

Now there are many things that we do do together and we do great together.

Um, but we learned that that wasn't one of them.

And then, uh, another thing that we got to learn, um, which I think is one

of the fun things about working, um, With a, uh, a partner or family is, you

know, getting to know what you do well together and how to thrive and shine.

And so I learned also that he has a group of men that he

really bounces ideas off of.

And for him to start there, bounce those ideas off and then come to me, um, that's

really beneficial for me and that I don't get more information than I can handle

on a given day when I'm raising the kids and, um, homeschooling the children.

I mean, I also have a job that I really enjoy that.

Uh, gives me fulfillment in different ways than selling thermostat guards.

So it's, uh, you know, it's just, it's, it's interesting kind of

learning about each other that way.

But one thing that's really fun about family is, um, working, especially in

this entrepreneurial type of thing, um, as we're raising the children, especially

through homeschool, they have watched.

Um, what entrepreneurship looks like and they have looked at what kind of

career they may want in the future.

And so it's been really cool.

My son is a natural salesperson, marketing kind of guy.

He's in college for that presently.

And, um, I don't know that he would have quite understood what kind of having

your own business and the ups and downs of that might look like if he kind of

had, he would have had to learn through a different route and my daughter already

says, I don't really want to work for.

I would like to kind of have my own job.

So that's been interesting to watch how it kind of trickles down on the children.

Um, well, it's neat to, you know, you mentioned a couple of things here.

So my, our daughter is 17 and she's a violinist and she actually, you

know, has been, has been giving lessons for over a year now.

And she runs a pretty significant business.

She's, she's making more money, you know, at 17 years old than a lot of

young people at 17 that are working, you know, three or four times as many hours.

She's, a first chair violinist at Vanderbilt Children's Orchestra.

She's a, she's amazing.

Real quick, you mentioned the, you know, the, the group of

entrepreneurs that I hang out with.

So about six years ago, I joined the Iron Sharpens Iron Mastermind.

what's fascinating is, is, you know, this, I, it's, you've heard that phrase,

you don't know what you don't know.

And well, right out of the gate, you know, I started hanging out with men

who You know, ran businesses and it's 100 and ISI is 150 or so men from, I

think it's six different countries.

And of course they all operate differently.

And some of them, if you ask them about working with your family or spouse,

like they're just like not a chance.

And so largely, you know, Lisa and I, when we started this.

Started working together.

I'll be honest.

I don't, I don't, I don't think we planned this.

It was more out of necessity.

And I think I was like, Hey, I can't do this.

And I really need your help.

I need your skillset.

So, so two things kind of emerged at that point.

You know, I saw Lisa operate in other capacities, which of course I was really

drawn to one of the reasons I married her, but then to see her operate in a

professional capacity, You know, it was really, really intriguing to me and to

see her strengths really rise to the top, to a fault caused me to, you know,

want to lean on her even more because I was so impressed with the way, you

know, her analytical ability, everything from communicating to organizational

skills was, you know, just top notch.

And, um, so here's, what's fascinating as the business has grown and we've

have, you know, we have a literally a bit more, you know, financial margin.

We've, you know, we've outsourced some things, right.

We've got an accountant and, know, a bookkeeper that helps us, you know,

day to day, that kind of thing.

And so largely I think as the business is growing, we're working together less

and less, but I think that's kind of by design as well, you know, I'm, I'm

one who, you I love this phrase and I forget what book it came from, you

know, where the author was talking about working on your business and not in it.

So what we did initially, and this is, this is one delineation that I, I

think I, I didn't understand early on was, Just because you own a business

does not mean you're an entrepreneur.

what I mean?

There's a lot of people who start a business, they just have a job.

They created another job for themselves.

and I think what's really fascinating is, is when you get to the point of

where you can work on your business and not in it, you know, to, to some degree,

well, it's amazing what opens up in your, your mind as to what's possible.

And, you know, you know, you can, like you mentioned, the iron's in the fire.

You know, bring in some, you know, other revenue streams, maybe work on

something you're, you know, kind of passionate about that kind of thing.

I think by design, we're actually working together less and less,

you know, as the business has given us the ability to do that.

But we're able to really tackle some hard things, which I think is great things.

Like we're not afraid to kind of go into territory that's unfamiliar

or unknown because we've done it.

And there's just something so marvelous of being able to do that because those

types of learning and communication goals really go out into all aspects

of our lives, not necessarily in the business or entrepreneurial world.

And so that's a really exciting thing as well.

So I like working with him.

He's my best friend.

You know, we've just had a really happy, joyful marriage and, um, So

it's, it's fun and it's exciting to watch how the business grows and how

we kind of have some control over that.

And it's given us some freedom to be able to travel or do some things that maybe

we wouldn't be able to do otherwise.

and I just feel the confidence going forward that if we're not always

selling thermostat guards, there's going to be something that we're doing

together and, uh, going to be special.

There's so much there.

Oh, my goodness.

So, uh, you answered what my typical next question is, is, uh, you know, something,

a challenge that you've overcome together.

And you mentioned that with the video, you know, that you figured

out that that particular process just didn't work for the two of you guys.

And so you'd, you know, you'd find a way around.

Um, Gosh, what else did you, I just feel like we need to tease some things out.

The trust is just amazing here.

And don't you think that's the the bedrock of it all?

Yeah.

You know, so I, I work really closely with one of my ISI

mastermind brothers, a guy named Dr.

Andy Garrett.

He's a clinical psychologist out in California and he uses the term

psychological safety, which is, you know,

Mm hmm.

new really, but I think what's fascinating is, is, you know, we

didn't, there's a lot of things that we did not do right, you know, on

the outset and a lot of it was, is.

Hey, we were younger.

We were, it was, we were just kind of operating, you know,

every single day in the unknown.

And it was kind of scary and new.

And, know, we were, we were by no means, you know, starting fires, right?

I like that phrase.

I want to be a man who starts fires, not just puts out fires, but guess what?

We were putting out fires every single day and did

Mm

just trying to figure out, you know, some of the most mundane tasks and so on.

But I think that.

You know, one of the things that, you know, that, uh, I've never

doubted from my wife, you know, is, is her, uh, dedication to me and her

love for me and her respect for me.

And I hope that I've always, you know, shown that, that same, you know, type

of admiration and love and kindness.

I mean, the psychological safety.

In any relationship is paramount

hmm.

Mm hmm.

can disintegrate, you know, so quickly, you know, when someone, you know,

doesn't feel heard when they don't feel respected and that kind of thing.

It's not that we've done it, know, even pretty, but, but at the same

time, there's not been a, know, mean, I can count on one hand.

Probably the, the number of times I've, you know, we've gone to bed

angry, you know, that kind of thing.

Mm hmm.

Oh,

harmony.

We, we, we don't like conflict we also have been able to stand on some

pretty big shoulders and learn how to navigate some of those waters.

And.

Well, and even back to our marriage, the one, the best advice that we got was that

just remember you're on the same team.

And so we have been team mosque for, I mean, 25 years, anything that

you'll ever hear about us as a family.

That's what we always say.

We're on the same team.

And so we even have shirts, we have shirts that say team mosque.

And so we have our own logo.

In fact, I.

cute.

That's so cool.

but yeah.

So you have to trust your teammates and you have to be able to depend on them

and you have to be able to forgive them and move forward and, and learn and grow.

And I think that's strengthened us in many ways, even outside of the workplace.

Well, so another thing that I wanted to bring out, I'm rewinding quite a bit,

but you guys were talking about, you know, figuring out the communication

as work colleagues, who are spouses and you know, that you had to kind of, you

couldn't use your straight corporate, like, can you take care of this

Yeah.

Oh my goodness.

I can remember my dad saying, yeah, can you handle this?

Um, but at the same time, no, you know, there's, yeah, there's a tone there.

You know, that you, you what I heard was it, it had to do mostly with,

with kind of approach and tone and.

And yet in other family businesses, especially when there's two generations, a

lot of times they've got to figure out how to separate the family kind of the other

way and get the family more out of it.

And, and so we, we were talking to, uh, uh, the father daughter that we

mentioned, uh, you know, now are in different countries, but, um, the son

came into the business and, and day one, he started calling his dad by his

first name instead of by dad, because they had a, they had a whole team of

people that had already been there.

Yeah.

and the father said, Whoa, uh, and then he realized quickly, no, that's appropriate.

That's, you know, that's clarifying the roles in this context.

Yeah.

And, and it sounds like you guys really, you know, you, you found

a different aspect of it, but you almost had to come at it from the

other direction, which is really cool.

Right.

I think the pendulum kind of swings, you know, on the day or week or, you know,

Sure.

going on.

But I, I think again, anything else, when you don't give up.

We've just kind of learned each other's tempos.

We, we learn kind of, you know, what the temperature is going on.

We just try to show each other a lot of grace.

Lisa is always the one having to show me grace.

In fact, it's always, it's usually very one sided because I'm, I get my, uh, you

know, I don't know my mindset on something and I'm not thinking of, I, I think maybe

this is more of a man type thing, but I have a hard time like multitasking and

thinking about several things at one time.

So if I'm thinking about.

Hey, we need to, you know, order this or ship this over here.

That's the only thing I'm thinking about when she's able to think about

9, 000 things at the same time.

And some of them are, you know, very personal or something like that.

And I, I find that I have to compartmentalize to kind of

keep focused on some things.

But my point is, is that we've learned to, you know, again, a lot of grace.

We just understand, you know, where is the other one today?

And, and then sometimes, you know, You've even done this too.

I'll walk into your office and you know, she'll say something like, Hey, why

don't you go back out there and come back in and try that again, you know,

Yes.

just,

I liked it.

smile at me or

Yeah.

that.

That's, know, that I'm like, Ooh, you know, where she could have justifiably,

you know, like snap my head off because I was acting like a total jerk.

But again, that feels like much, you're, you're good at that though.

I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's managing expectations.

It's saying I have.

I know that this seems very urgent on your moment, like you need this

right now, but I'm in the middle of something that I can't stop.

So if I have two hours to get this job done, let's come back and I'll have

it done for you by that time period.

Or if you see that I have forgotten something after I've committed to you, you

need to, you know, kindly remind me, Hey, did you have a chance to look at that?

And so it's just managing expectations.

Expectations, being respectful of each other's times and, and, and jobs.

Just like in, just even in a corporate world, you know, there's expectations

that have to be met and timelines, and so, you know, the, the comfort

of being a spouse and being able to ask for whatever and however,

and, you know, that kind of thing.

Um, sometimes the corporate side of it really has to come in and you have

to, you know, manage that diligently.

Yes, that you just touched on one of the one of the aspects that's I think

common in family situations or with family dynamics in the workplace is the

the family generally there's a tendency to kind of lower our the standards of

how we treat other people right we just sort of take for granted because they're

family I can I can relax a little bit on the politeness or whatever and and and

that rarely goes well but it's so common

And that whole an emergency on your part is not an emergency on my part,

Amen.

Sister

you know, I can't tell you how many times we have had that conversation.

There was, yeah.

Um, what was the, I want to say there was a repair.

It was, it was like a service depot sign.

So lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

That's another version of it.

Yeah.

I wanted to ask, is there a, so you guys have mentioned a couple of times

about, you know, that you, how you handle, You know, where something's,

there's a misalignment in communication or, or there's a, you know, managing,

you said managing expectations.

Is there a particular technique or little, little trick that you've learned

in, in your language or in your approach that you could share that other people

might be able to draw from that, that has helped you with those situations?

You know, I'll, I'll just start this way.

It's, I mean, you know, if you're working with your spouse, I mean, y'all get it.

It's, it can be incredibly personal.

so here's, here's, what's interesting.

I think there's a, know, there's emotional capital, you know, that you would, you

know, kind of store up as it were, right.

Each of you has kind of a tank.

And, and, I tell you what, when I feel like I'm, you know, being heard and

respected and all that kind of stuff, and I think the same is true for Lisa,

you know, it's amazing how just that alone, you know, will inform how, you

know, we're going to handle conflict.

So one of the things that I try to do that I didn't do really well

in the past is, know, You know, hey, do you have a minute, right.

Mm-Hmm?

to, do me a favor and send this out.

Like, you know, like, like, um, you know, talking to, you know, a

secretary or something like that.

And so, you know, just to be a bit more, um, you know, conscious that

they probably have other things that are more pressing in their mind as

to, you know, my needs right now.

So, so to enter into those conversations, You know, hopefully more often with a

question, you know, as opposed to, you know, the job or the task at hand is,

you know, has to be done immediately.

That kind of thing.

So I think, that emotional capital, that psychological safety, the,

you know, the tank, as it were.

It's amazing when, when that tank is full or fuller anyway, boy, it goes

a long way, you know, you, you really want to maintain that harmony as opposed

to just solve a problem as it were.

I mean, I'll get really deep here for just a second.

I had, I read a book a while back where the guy said you know,

relationships are the point of life.

Period.

That,

Mm-Hmm?

relationships, right?

That love, that the human connection the summum bonum.

It's the highest good.

It's the absolute point of life, period.

The rest of it is a context.

And, and I, I mean, the more I've, more I've kind of, you know,

thought about that, I'm like, you know, it makes sense, right?

And there would, everything would be really meaningless

if I was standing here alone.

I don't care if you're standing in front of the Grand Canyon or the Mona Lisa or

listening to a beautiful song, you know, we're so wired, you know, to say, you

know, Hey, come here and listen to this.

Or especially when we're kids, right?

Dad, you know, you gotta, you gotta smell this, you gotta

taste this or whatever that is.

We're so, we're so wired for relationships.

So my point is, is that, you know, if I keep that, know, front and center, right?

The rest of this stuff, you know, again, it's a context and yes, it matters.

But if I really, you know, try to prioritize the fact that,

you know, everybody that I'm interacting with is, is precious.

And whether that's Lisa or anybody else, it really starts to shift, you know, this

idea of human doing versus human being.

And, and it, it, it really solves a lot of problems.

But, but guess what?

When stress starts to hit when, you know, cortisol starts rising, adrenaline starts

rising, fear starts rising, immediately just our primal, you know, our prefrontal

cortex or no, it's our lizard brain.

li Limbic.

Yeah.

The limbic system kicks in

We want to, we want to solve those problems immediately.

And we often, you know, lose sight of what's most precious in this world.

And of course that's my sweetheart here.

Right.

And well, and to put some legs on that too, you know, just like we talked

earlier about how he's the idea man and I'm the detailed girl, there's that

saying that we operate differently.

We are made up differently.

And we did a few of those personality tests and that type of thing.

Um, pick whichever one you like.

We've probably done it because we.

Find that interesting.

We

Clifton Strengths?

Fit and whatnot.

Strengths Finder,

Yeah,

they are.

We've enjoyed

too.

Wonderful.

We love those things,

I know.

And so when we learned, when I learned about David, the very first one we

took was earlier in our marriage and one of his highest strengths was woo.

And which was people going out of his way

right?

He is

feeding on people and gets energy that way.

And I always just thought that was kind of weird.

I was like, dang, he just needs to calm down a little bit.

But when I learned that that's what gives him his energy and strength and,

you know, I've learned to go, okay,

There's nothing wrong with that, even though I don't operate out of that.

He does, and it feeds him and fuels him.

And so to learn, not just that, you know, he can go into a room and just

feed off the energy of other people, but to learn the things that make him

tick and the things that bring him joy and that give him strength and

those things I've learned to love and appreciate about him instead of finding

weird and kind of wishing he would stop.

And I'm sure there are the same things that, you know, on the other side, there

are things where I'm thinking, I'm sure he's thinking the same types of things

about me, but to really get to know.

How he ticks, how he works, how he operates and let him operate out of those

strengths gives me permission to step back and sit in my, as a word, he always says

zone of genius where this is what I do.

This is how I operate.

This is how I do really well.

And to learn how to do that together and be really excited for the

other person that they are doing what they were created to do.

And so I really feel like, um, that has been a significant

growth point in our marriage and probably the last five to 10 years.

Like, I've never been one to want to read a lot of self help books or

that kind of thing, but learning about our identities and how we work and

where we get

our strength and our fuel has really made a huge impact on how we communicate,

how we talk, how we look at each other and to really have language to put into

our conversations when trying to address those types of, and I think, I think,

I think what's really neat too, is, is that You know, again, back to the

human component, which I'm so wired for.

That's so front and center with me.

I, uh, today I had a conversation, by the way, with a customer who called

and one of my stat guards, you know, wasn't working when it arrived.

And I'm like, Oh, you know, I said, I said, you've come to the right place.

I'm actually the owner of the company.

And, um, we ended up talking for about 20 minutes and her, her husband

was in the room and they've got four boys and 10 grandchildren, and

We just, we just had a really great conversation.

But isn't it funny though, that it started around a thermostat guard?

You know, Lisa is not that you're don't love people, that kind

of thing, but she's, you know, like, Oh, there's a problem.

We have a really great customer.

I want to make sure they're happy.

I'm going to turn them into the best friend I've ever had.

I just, I love people.

Like I've, I've never met a stranger and.

You know, we're so different.

So to not only to identify right identity, those things that make one another rise

up, light up and tick, but to honor that, to, it's like you're, you're, you're

then giving your spouse or anybody else.

you know, permission, as it were, just to be themselves, to be fully themselves.

And I think that's a, again, back to that psychological safety

component, is incredibly life giving.

It gives, when someone knows that you see them, right?

You really see them you're, you're giving them permission to, you know,

just to live fully alive, right?

It's, God, what a, what a gift.

And in full transparency.

You know, it sounds like we read the book and we are fully

embracing that was a learning curve.

I mean,

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Absolutely.

didn't do that really great, but, you know, being able to pause for a

minute when I'm about to snap it or, you know, say something I'm going

to regret, you know, now I have the wisdom and the wherewithal to go,

"that didn't work well last time I did that, so this time, let

me kind of take a minute do this well so that we can move forward."

And so I would say that that's years, maybe even a

decade in process of learning.

Absolutely.

I still gripe at him sometimes, maybe more than sometimes, you know, so

And isn't it 10 year overnight success thing?

And isn't it fun to watch each other grow?

It is.

I mean, you're not the same people that you were 25 years ago.

You're not even the same people you were five years ago, maybe even a year

ago, but isn't it fun to see the growth and to see somebody light up when maybe

there was a little darkness there?

Yeah.

isn't that just, isn't it's just, that's a joy.

Yeah.

It's fabulous.

It is.

It is.

Yeah.

And I, I came from a background of, my mother in particular, she just wanted

like everything really certain and like she'd put the furniture in one

place and it stayed there for 20 years.

Connie rearranges the furniture, you know, every six months or less.

But so I came into the relationship expecting that the person that I met and

that I fell in love with was going to be the same person for the next 40 years.

Imagine my surprise when I found out, you know, I looked over one day

and I'm talking to a very different person and I really had to adjust.

That's funny you say that because when I first got married, I thought

I was going to be a domestic goddess.

I was going to have the meals, you know, the, on the table from the get go, all

the laundry was always going to be folded.

I was going to have the house of my dreams.

And I learned about two days into the marriage that that was a gross, um,

mistake; that that's not who I am.

And so I even surprised myself.

So we learned about ourselves along the journey.

absolutely.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because you're not the same person you were.

No,

isn't it fun to see, see different aspects of yourself coming out at different times?

it is

And, and we were fortunate when we moved cross country, we got rid of everything.

cool.

I mean, down to, well, we kept clothes and a couple of things, but

we started over with new furniture, new plates, new, new, all of that.

And because our taste had changed

Yeah.

it was so fun to do that.

I wish I could do that every 10 years.

Well, yeah, we had a house full of hand me downs.

Kind of hand me down furniture that we'd collected over the years, you know, my

grandmother moved out of a place And so we got a couple of pieces in there and

my which was fine That's a new furniture.

We got it was all nice furniture, but it was somebody else's that we just took on.

Yeah and it wasn't our exception of one or two and and we you know

kind of had a love for antiques because that was in the thing too.

And yeah, we don't necessarily love antiques all that much It

was just kind of programming.

So we learned so much from that change.

Mm hmm You And, and it's, it's one of the great paradoxes of life for

me is that we resist change so, as humans, we just resist it so

steadfastly and yet it's constant.

It's just like,

Right?

it's never ending.

That's right.

It happens all the time.

You're in constant state of flux.

So And a constant state of growth.

Isn't it great?

We, we've grown to

Yeah.

thankful for it even.

Right.

I'm, it's, there's, there are some things of course, like you mentioned,

you know, just change is hard.

And I think, you know, I think.

You know, in general, I think most humans are, you know, resistant in some ways

at the same time, know, that when, when change is a choice and, you know, you're,

Mhm.

to grow and expand, especially from a place of, you know, values and

creativity and things like that.

It can be incredibly exciting, you

Mhm.

have that, that sense of, you know, agency like this is, this is the person

that I'm becoming and I want to express myself in these particular ways.

It's, it's really empowering.

Yes.

to do that with your spouse.

It really makes the changes that you don't plan for that come up.

Cause it seems like most of the changes happen that way.

It's not this frightening thing as much as it is just learning the tools that

you've been working on for so long and

Mhm.

realizing who we are and how we work together that give us the opportunities to

really be able to take change with grace.

Mhm.

Yeah.

You go back to that foundation of, okay, this is, this is this person's nature.

This is this person's nature.

These are their strengths.

Now, how do we, how do we leverage everybody's strengths and that, I

mean, whether it's two of you or 20 people in the business, the real

magic happens when the business owner recognizes, you know, tries to get the

right people in the right seats, right?

Rather than somebody may have a skill.

So one of the things that we've relative to the Clifton strengths

was another thing of various skills.

And I can't remember the four categories off the top of my head,

but you've got your energized skills.

You've got things that you you're good at and you like to do.

You've got things that you're good at, but you don't like to do.

And then you've got things that you're, you're not good

at and you don't like to do.

So, you know, those are just off the table, right?

Nobody asked you to do that, but the things that you're good at and you don't

like to do, they drain you but sometimes people get put in a seat because they

they're hired for a particular skill and, and they're put in a seat doing that.

And it's, it's this struggle to come to work every day.

It's soul sucking.

It's soul sucking.

Yeah.

And, and so

I'll,

when you can find that.

I like it and I'm good at it and put somebody in that.

Now you've got a powerhouse.

I'll, I'll chime in on that.

So,

Please.

mentioned that phrase, you know, the zone of genius, which came from the

Gay Hendricks book, The Big Leap.

you know, he, he talks in the book, he talks about what you just said.

There's a zone of competence, know, that most people, you know, stop at.

And it's this idea of, okay, I, yes, I can do this really, really well.

I might not.

You know, love it, but I'm, it's this, it's this safe place, you know, where

your zone of genius, you know, his coin term there is, it's that intersection of,

know, what is it that gives me goosebumps and I'm really, really good at it.

hard part is most people don't get there.

Um, and I, I feel like I just turned 50 two months ago and I'm,

I feel like I'm, I'm heading into that, that phase of my life here.

But what's interesting about stepping into that top 10 percent of who you

are and operating in that space, a little bit scary, you know,

Yeah, it is.

Yeah.

what if I put myself out there like this and it's, you know, it's not

received well, or what if I, you know, I spend all of this time learning and

growing in this area, but I realized I've, you know, I just was missing

some information and I kind of, you know, lacked, you know, the outcome

that I was desiring and now I've got to pivot or start over or things there's,

there's so much uncertainty around.

You know, being, you know, that type of a person or how about this?

My, my buddy, Quentin Hafner is a coach and author and so on.

He wrote a book recently called, , Go Next Level.

It's really, really great.

You know, he, um, he talks about, you know, just this idea of answering the

questions, you know, like for that top 10%; what is it that lights you up,

like, and I like to say, what is it that gives your goosebumps goosebumps?

said, what is it that breaks your heart?

And what is it that, you know, like infuriates you?

so when you start getting clear on some of that stuff, you know, your really

unique sense of purpose starts rising up like this, this idea of, you know,

passion, you know, it comes from the word passion comes from the word suffer.

What am I willing to suffer for here?

And it's, it's an interesting thing.

When you start aligning this idea of passion suffering with.

know, this, man, I'm really, really great at this.

And when I think about stepping out in this area or putting forth this type

of a message or music or art, or, you know, whatever that might be, or product.

Um, if it scares you just a little bit, you're probably on the right path,

Exactly.

you

I just got goosebumps right now because I just realized what you were saying was,

you know, that, that thing of, because You care so much about it because you're

passionate about it that that risk of taking it You know that that somehow

you might lose that passion or fail fall short of of that is the scary part.

I'm writing a book right now called The Guardians of Grit.

And it's a book for fathers and sons.

I'm really niching down to just, you know, men and their boys.

And, you know, it's funny, here I am writing a book about grit, right?

And I'm having to dig deep in order to, accomplish this

because there's a headwind, right?

There, there's a, there's a headwind against, you know, this internal

and I think very cosmic headwind that's pushing against this mission

because it's what I believe, right?

What am I willing to suffer for?

What am I passionate about?

I believe it's the most needed mission, period.

And this is, you know, again, one point of view here, but I think

it's the most needed mission.

So therefore, you know, the resistance and just the, you know, my own internal

narrative that I have to conquer to, to become the person to do this is really

difficult, but again, I feel like I'm on the right path because I'm scared.

I, I, can't stop thinking about it.

I definitely have a skill set for it and I'm willing to suffer, you know,

to, to see the outcome, you know,

produced.

Yes, you are on the right path Wow that that is that that's the definition of path

right there Follow that yellow brick road

Yeah.

You know, no matter what you're going to encounter on that road, and there's

going to be a lot of encounters.

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my.

Yeah.

Exactly.

But look at how much fun you're going to have with that.

I'm

look at the joy that you're also going to bring to other people.

And that's, that's by sharing that.

Yeah.

for you.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Good job.

Can't wait to read it when you get it.

Even though I'm not a father and even though I'm not a man.

How about that?

Or boy, Mm hmm.

What's interesting is, of course, you

I use the term guardian

you know, in the book and really I'm niching down to fathers and sons because

I think it's going to be something that's really easily, easily, easily grabbed

onto, you know, but at the same time, You know, what's a guardian, right?

It's anybody who is in a, in an authority position over a younger person, whether

you're a mentor or, you know, a coach, a mom, a dad, an uncle, an aunt, a pastor.

I mean, you name it.

It's, and, um, and I think in our society we have, uh, you know, a

lot of people faltering, you know, I mean, a lot of people that are just.

You know, for lack of a better phrase, they're not winning

and it's heartbreaking.

And you know, so this idea of, of grit and doing hard, doing something difficult

over a long period of time, right?

The definition of grit, because what's on the other side of

that hill is worth fighting for.

And quite often people, you know, they lack that horsepower because

they just don't believe in themselves.

They don't believe they have what it takes, therefore they're not

even willing to let themselves dream about what's possible.

So they've kind of just

hmm.

you know, life happens by accident and they, you know, fall into, you know, kind

of a, um, you know, kind of a rut really.

It's,

Yeah, just reacting.

Yeah.

That's really a good, good word.

And it's, as opposed to, you know, I'm, I know who I am.

I know what's, what's worth fighting for.

I know the tools that are in my belt or the paint brushes, maybe is a better

analogy, and I'm going to paint this particular picture because it seems,

know, really, really exciting to me.

Well, it also goes back to what we were talking about in the very beginning.

We're talking about relationships being the core of everything,

Yeah.

and that's what that is.

And this relationship, whether it's, you know, to whatever it is, another

human being, it's making that contact.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

the important part.

And we talk about relationships so much in terms of, you know, two people.

But we also have a relationship with ourself.

And that really has to be nurtured.

And I think that's very relevant to what you're talking about,

you know, the father-son.

Is that, you know, helping nurture that self-trust and self-belief.

Yeah,

Uh, there, there's, I'm thinking about one of the folks we interviewed, he was

saying, you know, kind of my definition of entrepreneurship is, most of us, if,

if somebody said, run a hundred yards.

There's the goalpost, run to that as fast as you can.

Most people would do that if you know, to, to accomplish the, the

whatever goal they were after.

And then if, if somebody said, well run a mile.

A few people would fall away, but you know, still it's it's achievable and

most people would see it as achievable.

And he said, with entrepreneurship, it's like somebody tells you to just

start running in that direction, and, and you don't know where the end is.

Because there really isn't an end.

Yeah, I don't think he'd mind.

Chris, uh, Chris Farrell of Alternative Transportation

Systems is the guy that did that.

He's the Yeah, and he, yes.

But he, I told him I was stealing it, so, you know, I want to spread that.

I think it's beautiful.

Genius!

It is and experientially

you feel like that.

You're like, there's no destination.

And, you know, I remember when we, Um, you know, kind of started to really

hit our stride, you know, COVID hit.

Right.

So nothing new

hm.

with, I mean, think of the millions of people that lost their businesses.

of course we thought we were next.

We couldn't even get inventory.

It was sitting out on a container ship at the coast of California and we

couldn't even get, you know, product.

So for a long time, I thought, man, we are, we're sunk here.

I mean, no pun intended.

And, um, but you know, it was interesting, you know, we, we made it through ended

up, you know, at that point we were in Home Depot and then we got into Lowe's

just after, uh, COVID about maybe nine months after, started letting up and,

you know, you kind of have these moments in your, your business where you want

to exhale and make, you might, then all of a sudden, here's another curve

ball and here's another curve ball.

And so I think that, you know, part of my journey is, and Lisa mentioned this

earlier, it's this idea of expectations

Mm hm.

and change.

I mean, if there's one thing you can count on, things are going

to change and it might not be.

You know, in the direction that you want, and, uh, and quite often it's

not, um, I, uh, I'll, I'll mention Dr.

Andy again.

He, uh, he said one of the, after, you know, people work with, with him

and I actually coach people through his program, the true North blueprint

by the end of it, he said, David, he's in, this is when he and I were

just kind of talking personally.

He said, David, he said, by the end of the program, when we introduce people

to themselves, he said, He said, I want them to be able to look in the

mirror in the face of an obstacle and just say, you know, smile and

say, I'm just the man for the job.

Because you know who

Mm

you know, what's worth fighting for, you know, the tools in your belt, you have a

strong, you know, why, you, you know, the, the people around you who are going to

help you accomplish said mission, right?

You're not alone.

You have a tribe and, you know, all of those things that make, uh, you

know, big things possible, right?

We, we

hm.

it on our own and you have to establish not only that internal, uh, mission.

You know, uh, narrative that plumb line, but then you've got

to have the resources and people around you to, to keep on going.

Right.

And our version of that is what is the surprise of the day?

Yeah, I like it.

Because there's going to be one and, and, and, you know, you never

know when it's coming or whatever.

And so you go, okay, it's here.

Now what?

And now we deal.

I love

Yeah,

a great edit.

That's a great, great way to, uh, to really shift your mind in a

absolutely.

right?

Because quite often we get into this idea of, you know, kind of that victim

thinking, Oh no, not, not another thing.

Uh huh.

I'm going to, I'm going to actually borrow that one as well, if you don't mind.

And the surprise is kind of like, Ooh, you know, it can be a really good thing.

There might be a present.

There might be a present.

And there always is a present in there.

We just, I, and that's part of my opportunity is to find

out what that present is.

Yes.

I love your attitude.

For heaven's sakes.

That's fantastic.

Well, thank you.

Well, that's because his mom, we had dementia to deal with for 10 years.

So I, we never knew what was going to come out of her mouth.

We never knew what was, you know, What phone calls we were going to be getting

Yeah.

and what we had to find humor in it.

So, so that was our first thing in the morning was, well, what's

going to be the surprise of the day.

I think I'm going to wake up saying that going forward.

There you go.

And especially, you know, with kids.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

There were, there was always surprises and they, and they, and some of

them were really fun and other ones were, but we still dealt with them.

Right.

So

I

cool.

down.

Awesome.

I know we could continue for a while.

Another hour or two.

We've got so many things in common and so much to share with each other.

However, we're kind of at our, you know, sweet spot here.

So, how can, how can people, what would you like people to reach out to

you for and how can they reach you?

And thanks for having us.

What a joy to meet both of you.

You're just really, really genuine and delightful people.

Thank you.

This has been a joy for both of us.

By the way, this is the first podcast that Lisa and I have done jointly.

And, um,

you're stars.

Well, maybe there'll be more.

We'll see.

surprise my day.

There you go!

Well, thank you for playing along.

And where you're present.

that's right.

Yeah.

So to answer your question, you know, again, if you're wanting to

control energy, whether that's your home or of course office, you can

visit StatGuardPlus.Com, or we have a new version called the lockbox pro.

So you can go to lockbox pro.

com.

and then also I'd love to, if you don't mind, just to talk about my guardians

of grit book here just briefly.

So this book is for, for fathers.

The tagline of the book is fathers raising uncrushable sons

Cool.

I would love for you just to visit guardians of grit.

com where we just got the page, quasi launched last week, but you can sign

up, you know, for, uh, when we, when we have kind of the soft launch,

but we're going to be starting a community of, You know, of, of men

and even their sons, for that matter, we're going to be doing live events.

And, um, I just, I really feel like the backbone of, you know, of, of

our world is when dads love and lead well and raise, you know, men who

do likewise, you can, You can trace every societal problem back to men.

When men lead well, everybody wins.

When men don't, everybody loses.

I'm really excited to start with, with dads because I think that the,

uh, they're the bedrock and I'm a, I'm a bit biased of course, but

I'm, I'm pretty excited about that.

Well, and it's a gift, there again, to be a father, right?

Yeah.

Whether you have them not, you know, however that person comes into your life.

Even, even a pet.

Being, being responsible for that shows a whole, whole different side

of yourself and brings out things that you didn't even know, didn't you?

Yeah.

Well, what a joy.

Well, thanks

Well,

us.

thank you so much.

Thank you.

It's been a great pleasure.

And we will look forward to another conversation at a future date.

Yes.

All right.

We'd love it.

See ya!

Thanks.

Great, thank you.