All of personal growth, every breakthrough, every mindset shift, every moment of transformation can be traced back to just two laws. Most people miss this. They chase the next technique, the next strategy, the next program, but nothing truly changes until these two principles are understood and embodied. And when you get this, everything works. Your energy returns, your perception shifts, your growth accelerates, and it's not complicated. These are not soft spiritual concepts. They are neurological and energetic principles. Resistance creates contraction. Forgiveness creates energy. And if you want to master the game of life, you have to master energy. Master energy and you stop managing problems and start living from your personal power. If you've been doing the work, reading the books, going to the seminars, rewiring your beliefs, but still feel like something isn't quite landing, this episode is for you. Welcome to a Changed Mind. A journey into the topics that matter to you most. From the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth, to groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth and relationships, to open and honest conversations about pressing global issues such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture, and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future and provides the teachings, tools, and timeless wisdom inspiring you to create real, lasting change in your life and and in the world. If you've been desiring a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity, and doom and gloom so that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside, you're in the right place. Welcome to a Changed mind.

Hey, it's David. Welcome to A Changed Mind, a sanctuary for your spirit, a place where each and every episode I remind you of the certainty of the goodness of the future. I'm your friend, your host, your guide, David Baer. Two principles. All of personal and spiritual growth can be distilled down into two principles. And I don't know about you, but for a long time, I was reading the books, I was going to the events, I was doing the meditation, the breath work. Yes, things were improving in my life. My mindset was improving, things had changed, but there was still a pretty significant low-level hum of suffering. What I've come to understand is that all of personal growth, literally every tool, every method, every breakthrough, can actually be boiled down to just two laws. And when you get these two, everything else starts to work. And these laws aren't new, but they're often overlooked. They're literally buried within all of the traditional teachings. And they don't make for flashy Instagram quotes, but they are the actual root of transformation. And I'm telling you, if you can get these two and you stop wasting energy fighting what is, everything begins to change. You stop cycling in old habits of behavior and thoughts. You return to your power, to presence, and to possibility. So I want to break these two down for you. And I'm going to start with the law of non-resistance.

So to live in non-resistance is the first law. Now, I've talked about non-resistance in a lot of other episodes. I believe the master equation for personal growth is desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. In other words, when you have a desire or a vision or a dream or you set a goal or intention, the work is not to actually figure out how to achieve it. The work is to identify the resistance you have to the goal that you want to achieve. And if you can do that, then 100% of the time consistently and predictably, you will achieve the desired result. Whether you want your dream home, whether you want to heal your body, whether you want to grow your business, whether you want to have more clarity, whether you want to find your soulmate, whether you want to change the world. The work is not to figure out how. That's what the mind will compel you to do. And when we look at other people, it seems like they've got some magic pill strategy or perfect plan. And so we try to model it. But the game is to have dreams, have desires, and then become non-resistant to those desires. Where do we become resistance? Well, we want to make more money, but money is hard to make. We want to heal our bodies, but the doctor told us we have a strange autoimmune condition. We want to find our soulmate, but there's no good ones left out there. We want to have more clarity, but it's not coming fast enough. We want to change the world, but look at all the structures that are in place that prevent us from change. Non-resistance is the way through this. Buddhists refer to it as non-attachment. It's really central to their doctrine, not being attached, attached to life, attached to expectations, attached to outcomes. The Taoists talk about non-resistances, not forcing or flowing with the Tao or the natural way or with what is. Islam refers to it as surrender and acceptance. And in Christianity, it's referred to directly as non-resistance and accepting that all things are God's will, that moment by moment, life is showing up, as we would say, to support our greatest growth, our greatest prosperity, and our greatest evolution, even when what's showing up is not what you seem to want, doesn't seem in alignment with the outcome. In fact, a lot of times it seems completely in contradiction to it or is unexpected.

And so what is an indicator of being in resistance? Remember, non-resistance is the law. Non-resistance is what we want to master. What is an indicator of being in resistance? It's our limiting beliefs. These are indicators of resistance. We believe in some form of limitation, right? That there isn't enough time that we can't trust people. There's a denial of what is or what is possible. We live in a world of infinite possibilities. Everything is possible. When you have a dream or a desire, that's not something you're making up. That's something you're tuning into. You're actually remembering your future when you have a dream or a desire. So it exists in your future. That means it is possible. But our limiting beliefs, the early age programs that we developed, the traumas that we went through have distorted our perception of what's possible. These are our limiting beliefs. There's also a non-acceptance of what's happening in the moment, an assertion that life should be different than what it is. They shouldn't have said that to me. This shouldn't have happened. Things should be different, right? This shouldn't have occurred. And when we can live in non-resistance rather than resisting what is, knowing that what's happening is just sort of the changing movie screen in front of us and that life is constantly reorganizing to support us in producing the outcome that we want, we have to give it a little bit of time, and it's likely not going to come in a way that we expect. When we can be in non-resistance and not entangled with our denial of reality or our limiting beliefs, what happens is we eliminate the energy expenditure that's wasted in the denial or in the resistance. And we retain that energy so that it can flow into ongoing expansion.

So how do we do this? How do we become energetically efficient by no longer wasting our energy and we feel it with stress, anxiety, overwhelm, anger. How do we retain this energy and allow it to flow into the expansion and become the bridge between where we are in the dream or the vision that we have rather than wasting it on resistance? Well, we accomplished this by realizing that there are only two states of being. And again, I've talked about this in other episodes. You can check them out if you want to go deeper on this subject. But one of the core principles that we teach is there are only two states of being, powerful states and primal states. And powerful states are states of being that feel good, like joy, curiosity, and excitement, even calm or peace. And these states of being, powerful states, indicate that we're in the parasympathetic expression of the nervous system. So our nervous system is down-regulated. We're in non-resistance. And there are primal states of being, states of being that don't feel good, like stress, anxiety, overwhelm, anger, depression, feeling like we're not enough, being in indecision, self-sabotage, procrastination, financial insecurity. These states of being don't feel good. That's an indication that we're in the sympathetic expression of our nervous system, the upregulation, meaning we're in fight or flight.

One of the other things that we've identified is that you're always in one of the two states of being, always. You can check in with yourself right now. How do I feel? Either good or bad, powerful state or primal state. You're always in one state of being or the other, and you're never in two states of being at the same time. This is important because it gives you a starting point in deconstructing your resistance. Because another distinction that we have found to be true is that anytime we're thinking something that doesn't feel good, that's actually what's, anytime we're thinking something that doesn't feel good, it's not true. And let me back up a second. The only thing that determines which state of being you're in, a powerful state or a primal state, are your own thoughts. It's not the experience itself, right? So it's not losing your job that's causing you to move into a primal state. It's the meaning you give that experience that you won't be able to pay your mortgage at the end of the month, right? The anxiety that you feel that you may never find a soulmate is not created by the experience, which is you've been out on several dates and it's been a while since you've met someone you really like. It's the meaning you give it, which is I'm never going to find someone. So it's our thinking that determines whether we're in a powerful state or a primal state. And, and this is most important, what we discovered after 10,000 coaching conversations was that the quality of the thinking that moves you into a primal state is 100% of the time it's not true. It's not true. It's a limiting belief. It's the resistance. And so in our work, we start to explore the opposite In other words, if we know that it's not true that we can't trust people because it moves me into suffering, Or we know that it's not true that i'm not going to have enough because it moves me into a primal state Or we know that it's not true That i'm never going to heal and i'm going to have to live with this chronic pain for the rest of my life because thinking that, Activates my sympathetic nervous system. Then we're able to go. Well, what's the opposite of that because the opposite of that must be true We'll be right back. And so we explore the opposite. We say, well, I can heal, even though I don't yet know what my condition is, or it's been a long time. I can meet someone, or I will meet someone, even though I haven't met someone yet. I can trust people, even though there was something that happened when I was a kid that caused me to be mistrustful. So we start to explore the opposite, and we look for what evidence we have for the fact that the opposite is true.

Well i now know now more than ever what types of people i don't want to go out with so i'm even clearer than ever before on the type of soulmate that i want that clarity is important that clarity is attractive i'm also further along in my own development so i no longer hold a lot of my limiting beliefs and traumas as i've worked through this i'm ready now more than ever before to meet the person of my dreams that's the evidence that we have for the fact that i am going to meet my soulmate, right? And we could work this with each of the scenarios that I gave you. We call this a decision matrix. If you're interested, you can jump on over to davidbear.com. I've got a free four-part training on the website. You can download my free ebook and I'll go deeper into this with you. But what's happening is you're starting to activate memories that have been dormant. So you've got evidence in your life that will support your non-resistance. You've got evidence for the opposite of your limiting beliefs, but in the way that the mind works, it's focused on preventing threat or danger. So it's only paying attention until you start to reclaim control over your mind. It's only paying attention to those things that actually support your limiting belief because it's on high alert. But as we explore the opposite of the limiting belief, we begin to reactivate old neural networks, old dormant memories, and we begin to actually prune out or activate neuroplasticity to change our brains and change our minds, which changes our perceptions and changes our realities. So I was in the Dominican Republic recently on a vacation and there was a wonderful man who served us breakfast every single morning and he pulled me aside at one point and he said, hey, you know, is there any opportunity? Do you have any positions in your organization that would be appropriate for me? And he said, you know, it's impossible here in the Dominican Republic to get ahead. And I said to him, I said, Javier, that's just a decision. That's not absolutely true. I know it may seem that way for you based on what you're paying attention to, but if that were true, then no Dominicans would ever get out of the Dominican Republic. No Dominicans would ever be successful in the Dominican Republic. And I told him the story of Maria Bahio and she grew up in this really modest family, not a wealthy family. She was an artist, a musician, and she's now a social entrepreneur, who had a profound moment of realization when she was working with deaf students. And she was inspired by this. And she founded something called the MuseSeq Project back in 2013, which uses music and technology to bring the experience of sound to children in the Dominican Republic, and now all over the world. And she's produced two documentaries. She's partnered with Harvard. And I said, if what you're saying is true, that there are no opportunities here, then how do you explain that? And I was teaching him that it all came down to a changed mind and that your only limitation is what you can dream of and how willing you are to believe.

So the first thing that we need to do in order to practice this essential law, one of two laws, this law of non-resistance is to start becoming even more aware of the resistance we have, which is our limiting beliefs and to begin to question them and to find evidence for the opposite, which is the empowered decision so we can move back into non-resistance. Now, the second law is forgiveness. We're talking about non-resistance and forgiveness. If we were going to distill all of personal and spiritual growth down to just two principles, it's these two principles, live in non-resistance and forgiveness. And that's why Jesus so cleverly included it right smack dab in the middle of the Lord's prayer. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. So he understood that resentment was a key that unlocked the kingdom of heaven. And what he's talking about is both resentment towards ourselves and others because this is the other energetic drain when you're in resentment you move into a primal state it is an activation of the sympathetic nervous system and this is the other mechanism by which we stunt our natural expansion and growth and but what we see here when we start to look at what the resentment sound like if you think about if you were able to stop and write down the internal rant that's taking place when you're resenting someone or the old resentments that you might have or hold for your parents or people that you grew up with. It's really the same mechanism that we're seeing in limiting beliefs. So for a long, long time, I had a resentment towards my dad and I always wanted my dad's approval. I always felt like he was critical of me. I had a resentment around that. If I were to listen to what it sounded like, it's like, it's never good enough for him. He doesn't appreciate me. Why can't he just acknowledge me? That's a resentment. met. And I really wanted my dad to come to one of my live events. I do an event once a year called the Powerful Living Experience. If you want to know more about it, there's a link in the show notes. I did my first event back in 2017. I asked my dad if he would come. He was busy. 2018, same thing. He finally came in 2019. And it was the biggest event that I had ever done. We had almost a thousand people there. My dad came. During one of the breaks, I was outside getting some sunshine. And my dad came out and said something like, wow, this is something, huh? And because I had been living through this resentment and this wound, I wasn't able to receive that as an acknowledgement. Maybe some people would expect a more significant acknowledgement. I did. I wanted my dad to say, wow, this is the most amazing thing. Like, I can't believe it. I'm so proud of you. Look at all these people who've come here to have you help them. And this is extraordinary. and I'm so impressed. And, you know, my dad basically said, wow, this, you know, hey, this is something, huh? And, uh, and I felt the resentment kick in. And after the event, I realized that, you know, my dad wasn't the asshole. I was the asshole. You know, my, my dad expressed himself at the full capacity that he has and the way that he articulates it to show love and appreciation for me. The fact that he came frankly should have been enough.

And it was this resentment that I was holding on to. It was like I was having an argument with someone who was not even arguing back to me, but I was continuing the argument. And when I saw that, I was like, wow. And I immediately had so much gratitude for my father and realized that there was work that I needed to do. And I was spending so much energy on it. And so with resentments, we believe that someone should not have done something to us when in fact they should have, or they haven't done something and that's exactly the way it should go. And sometimes that's a hard pill to swallow. Like we think they shouldn't have abused us. And it's like, no, they should have because they were abused and they never processed that trauma. And abusers pass on the abuse when they haven't processed the trauma. So yeah, for sure they should have abused you. But we become entangled with this denial of reality, right? They shouldn't have lied to us. It's like, no, they should have lied to us. That's what they do based on their current circumstances and situations. Everyone, I believe, operates exactly according to their capacity 100% of the time. I remember having a conversation with some friends once where they're like, I can't believe that these poachers in Africa are killing these rare rhinos. And I could detect a resentment around it. And I said, no, they absolutely should be killing the rhinos based on what's motivating them, their economic situation, the families they have to take care of, the unprocessed trauma that they have, the priority within which they put an animal's life versus their needs and the money that they're going to receive from selling a rhino horn. that's exactly what should take place. And the problem with so many things in the world is that we just believe, we say, I can't believe that somebody's doing this. It's like, well, if you could believe that someone's doing this, what would you need to believe in order to believe it? Well, I would need to believe that they're desperate. I would need to believe that they're wounded. I would believe that they need more resources. I would need to believe that they need some healing and education. It's like, okay, great. Well then let's go give that to those people because that's actually what's going to solve the problem, not just resentment. So we entangle with the denial of reality. And we exist in this pseudo-reality that we've created of what should be that is not real. Well, that requires a tremendous amount of energy. You're creating a fake reality to live in.

It's draining, right? It's draining, and it also prevents you from accessing new possibilities. I've shared this on another episode. When I used to come home, I'd kick off my shoes or put them in a place that wasn't near the front door or particularly organized, and my wife would get upset about it, And I would get angry suggesting that she shouldn't be telling me where my shoes need to go. Well, of course she should based on how she prioritizes organization and the way that she grew up and her emotional experience. When I put my shoes in a place that by any meaningful interpretation, not organized 100% of the time, that's exactly what she should do. And so when all you believe is that someone shouldn't have done something to you, the resentment is all that exists. as soon as I realized that my wife should be reacting this way, new possibilities existed for me. I started putting my shoes in a different place. I acknowledge that I appreciate that she keeps a tidy house. I stopped arguing with her about it. New possibilities existed. So when that resentment no longer exists, you have choice. You have a resource. And what we're talking about is being in a resourced place because closing the gap between where you are and the future you envision is a game of energy. It's a game of resource. And the way through this is the same. Remember, if you're not feeling good, it's caused by one thing and one thing only, which is your thoughts. And the quality of those thoughts is that they are untrue. That's why they're creating disruption or dissonance or incoherence in your system. And you're experiencing that as what we would call a primal state or a negative emotion. The antidote to that is to explore a new solution. Okay, if this isn't true, then the opposite of that must be true she should be saying this to me hmm what evidence do i have for the fact that that's true and you'll have a revelation something will be revealed to you based on those questions and that inquiry again here we are using two core tools that we teach to navigate through life and to be present to what is real and to down regulate your nervous system we're talking about the two states of being in the power of decision. But just in summary of what we've discussed, there are only two laws. If you can master these two laws, if you can learn to live in non-resistance and you can learn to live in forgiveness, not resentment, you've really distilled all of personal growth down into a simple binary structure that allows you to re-access your personal power and to redirect the energy that is inherent within you naturally towards the creation of what you want to create to change your mind and change your life. So I hope you love this episode as much as I love sharing it with you. Do me a favor. If you're following on youtube hit that subscribe button and don't forget the bell icon because that's how you get notifications Leave me a comment. Leave me a question. This is what I think. Let me know what you think This is a two-way conversation I tried to read as many comments as I can and respond to as many as possible, And also if you're listening on the audio platforms, you can also subscribe on apple or spotify And you can leave me a rating or review I love getting those rating and reviews in the morning and seeing that you love the show as much as I love Sharing my thoughts and my content with you And if you know somebody who needs to hear this episode, this is the way we get this work out there to more and more people share the episode with somebody you love. I love you so much. Thank you for committing your time and energy and being here with me in this sacred space. And I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.