Welcome to the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast.
Speaker AI'm Kate Moore Youssef and I'm a wellbeing and lifestyle coach, EFT practitioner, mum to four kids and passionate about helping more women to understand and accept their amazing ADHD brains.
Speaker AAfter speaking to many women just like me and probably you, I know there is a need for more health and lifestyle support for women newly diagnosed with adhd.
Speaker AIn these conversations, you'll learn from insightful guests, hear new findings, and discover powerful perspectives and lifestyle tools to enable you to live your most fulfilled, calm and purposeful life wherever you are on your ADHD journey.
Speaker AHere's today's episode.
Speaker AToday, I'm absolutely delighted to welcome Cynthia Hammer here today.
Speaker ANow, Cynthia was diagnosed at the age of 49, which is not that uncommon nowadays.
Speaker ABut this was 30 years ago and this is when her Middleton was also diagnosed with ADHD, and it was 1992 and she was thought of as the only adult in the USA who had this disorder.
Speaker ASo I'm really looking forward to speaking to Cynthia.
Speaker ABut what she's then done with her diagnosis, she's written a book about her life within attentive adhd, which is called Living With Inattentive ADHD Climbing the Circular Staircase of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
Speaker ADespite the fact that she doesn't like the name and she's been an amazing advocate, she's been working towards screening and more awareness of ADHD in girls specifically.
Speaker AAnd I'm really looking forward to talking more about this.
Speaker AAnd now Cynthia joins us.
Speaker AIt's 6am her time, she's 81 and I know she's going to give us something.
Speaker ASo much wisdom and knowledge of what she's uncovered over the past 30 years of working in this space.
Speaker ASo thank you so much, Cynthia, for being here.
Speaker BThank you.
Speaker BIt's fun to be here, but it's amazing.
Speaker AI was just saying, you know, 6:00am your time and you're here and I know you're really passionate about this topic, this conversation and reading through your bio of all the things that you have innovated with regards to ADHD and girls and how you've started things, because you've seen the injustice of the lack of awareness and the, and the screening and the lack of understanding of how ADHD manifests in girls.
Speaker ASo I'd love to hear a little bit about, I guess, what did it look like 30 years ago when you saying that you thought, well, that people thought that you were one of the only adults in the US with ADHD.
Speaker BThe year After I got diagnosed, there was an adult conference for ADHD held in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Speaker BAnd when I went there, Dr.
Speaker BHallowell was there and Terry Matlin were there, and they had been diagnosed a few years earlier.
Speaker BSo we were the beginning of people getting diagnosed with ADHD in the first ADHD conference.
Speaker BBut I came back to Tacoma determined to help other adults learn about it.
Speaker BSo I started a nonprofit there, and I was lucky.
Speaker BA local hospital let us have space to have meetings.
Speaker BAnd then it kind of grew from there.
Speaker AWe.
Speaker BWe started to have annual conferences where we'd have the national speakers come to present.
Speaker BAnd I ran that for 15 years.
Speaker BAnd then actually, I went on and trained to be an ADHD coach.
Speaker BThat was a thing back then.
Speaker BDr.
Speaker BHallowell had a model of coaching where you just call up a friend, and you'd say to the friend what you were going to do that day, and the friend said that to you, and.
Speaker BAnd that was your accountability to each other.
Speaker BAnd that was the original coaching model.
Speaker BBut then David Guirich got involved, and he created the Coaching Academy, and that's where a lot of American coaches got trained.
Speaker BBut when I first was diagnosed, there was no books, no coaches, no information about adult adhd.
Speaker BAnd I don't even remember books about ADHD in children very much.
Speaker BBut then I found one book by Lynn Weiss, who is a psychologist, and she had written about ADHD in adults.
Speaker BAnd in the back of that book, I found one other woman in Washington state who had adhd, and she kind of became my support person.
Speaker BShe remembers how devastated I felt getting this diagnosis.
Speaker BAnd for me, I guess I woke up one day and just said, I realized I had been grieving.
Speaker BFor a whole year, I had been grieving.
Speaker BI felt very ashamed of having adhd.
Speaker BAnd as I wrote in my book where I was working, I felt like with the Puritans, some woman that was a fallen woman had to wear an A on her clothing.
Speaker BAnd I envisioned that I had an ADD on my forehead that everyone could tell that I had this condition.
Speaker BAnd I was just very embarrassed about it and ashamed of it.
Speaker BAnd when I went to the national conference, Dr.
Speaker BHallowell spoke, and he was very at ease saying he had adhd.
Speaker BAnd when I asked him about that, he said he never has been ashamed of having adhd.
Speaker ASo.
Speaker BSo in my mind, I wanted to get to that place, too.
Speaker BAnd with starting the support group, I knew that I had to stand in front of a group of people and announce I had adhd.
Speaker BSo it was very hard for me to just say that.
Speaker BAnd I sat in my car and practiced over and over and over again just saying, I am Cynthia Hammer.
Speaker BI have adhd.
Speaker BI got to the point where I could say it without a tremulous voice.
Speaker BBut still, envisioning saying it in front of a group of people was very threatening.
Speaker BBut when I showed up, because I had envisioned an audience of 100 people, there were, like, 25 there, and it became much easier to say it.
Speaker BAnd then once you say it, it's not no problem, because you realize it's a much bigger issue to you than it is to anyone else that hears you say it.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AI mean, thank you for sharing that.
Speaker AI mean, I can only imagine what that must have felt like for you back, you know, in the 80s when there was really no one, you know, that, like you say, we didn't have podcasts, there was nothing online, there was no books.
Speaker ASo you really must have felt so alone.
Speaker AAnd that shame is pervasive.
Speaker AI remember, you know, I was only diagnosed nearly five years ago, and.
Speaker AAnd at the time, no one was talking about ADHD only five years ago in women.
Speaker ASo for me, there was so much shame, even though I was reading about it and knowing that I wasn't alone.
Speaker AAnd there was still this narrative of, what, you mean, you've got adhd.
Speaker AThat's what kids have, that's what small boys have.
Speaker ALike, how can you have it?
Speaker AAnd all the stigmas and all of that attached.
Speaker AAnd, you know, I love Dr.
Speaker AHalliwell.
Speaker AHe's been on the podcast twice.
Speaker ABut as a man, as a man, they have this privilege because.
Speaker ABecause it can almost be like, oh, it's just a part of my personality.
Speaker AAnd I can be chaotic and I can be forgetful because a woman or a secretary or a wife is going to pick up the pieces.
Speaker ABut when you're a woman with ADHD and you're expected to be the picker upper and the organizer and the one that kind of clears things and tidies things, and we find that difficult.
Speaker AWe struggle with that.
Speaker AThat impacts so many different parts of us as well.
Speaker BAs you're talking all the chores that wives or mothers have to do, I'm really thinking those are all executive functions.
Speaker A100%.
Speaker A100%.
Speaker AAnd Sari Solden, who I'm sure you, you know about, she calls them, she messages, all the she messages that we've had, you know, over the years of people telling us that that's what women should do, that's what wives that do, that's what mums do.
Speaker AAnd when we don't fall into that bracket perfectly, it's a direct, we feel it's like a direct flaw in our personality or our status as that person or we're not a good enough mum or wife or daughter or sister or whatever that is.
Speaker AADHD is the thing.
Speaker AThat's definitely a thing that we have to accept and embrace and understand.
Speaker ABut I think for women it's much more multi layered and deeper, maybe for men.
Speaker AAnd I don't.
Speaker AI wondered if you agreed.
Speaker BYes, I think we get more mental health issues because of our ADHD and the messages we give ourselves.
Speaker BEven though I interviewed 25 men that had the inattentive type of ADHD and I was surprised that a lot of them experienced a lot of the same emotions that women do, I think a lot of it results from not getting diagnosed early.
Speaker BAnd when you have the hyperactive type, you get diagnosed early and, and you just grow up understanding yourself better.
Speaker BSo I personally think getting diagnosed is a key to a lot of change people can make in their lives.
Speaker BAnd that's why we're working so hard to get girls diagnosed early.
Speaker BI mean, we want boys to get diagnosed early too, but we know there's been a big gap in girls not getting diagnosed early.
Speaker AYeah, I want to hear a little bit about this because I know you have worked tirelessly to increase awareness around screening from a younger age.
Speaker AAnd maybe you can explain a little bit about what age you think might be the optimum age.
Speaker AAnd do you want all kids screened?
Speaker ASo kids start sc and personally I think you should start school and you get screened for adhd, dyslexia, dyscalcul, and it's just part of starting school.
Speaker AAnd then you're able to then be funneled and streamed into different places and get more support in some areas and you know, you can thrive in other areas.
Speaker AI wonder what you think about that.
Speaker BWell, okay.
Speaker BPersonally, my personal feeling is if we could get diagnosed at birth, that would be the best, but we don't know how to do that yet, but maybe someday we will.
Speaker BAnd in the US I think that pediatricians are supposed to screen for autism by age two because they.
Speaker BAnd so I think as soon as we are able to diagnose, that's when we should do it.
Speaker BAnd when I've talked to physicians and psychologists in the U.S.
Speaker Bthey mostly feel comfortable diagnosing a child by age 7.
Speaker BThey sometimes could diagnose earlier if it's really an extreme case.
Speaker BBut generally they get the teachers, they get the information from teachers they get the information from the parents.
Speaker BAnd by age 7, the child is learning to read.
Speaker BSo there's some ability to assess for learning disabilities.
Speaker BAnd so that's why we chose the age of eight, because doctors are telling us they could diagnose by seven.
Speaker AI mean, how easily can you screen, I guess, from such a young age?
Speaker ABecause I'm going to play devil's advocate.
Speaker AI totally agree that screening is needed, but if people turn around and say, oh, you know, kids mature at different ages and what happens if we are?
Speaker AAnd I'm going to do an inverted commas labeling kids, we're sort of pigeonholing them.
Speaker AWhat do you think about if people say that?
Speaker BI talked with Kathleen Nadeau, who's written a lot about girls and women with adhd, and she reassured me, I guess, that when you diagnose children earlier, it's easier to diagnose them because they're less complicated.
Speaker BThe girls haven't been masking that long.
Speaker BThere's not the overlay of depression, there's not the overlay of anxiety.
Speaker BSo she talks like it's easier.
Speaker BAnd what I say is that we can diagnose girls sooner if we learn to not just watch for one or one behavior.
Speaker BI think for the girls, it's more of a complex of behaviors.
Speaker BYou're looking for several things, several subtle symptoms, maybe some overt symptoms.
Speaker BBut it's not like the boys that he's hyperactive and he's disruptive and, you know, you really can identify him with a girl.
Speaker BI think it's more, a little bit more detective work.
Speaker BAnd what Dr.
Speaker BMason said is that what happens when I'm in the schools is the teacher at the beginning of the year, she can pick out the children that she thinks they're going to need extra help.
Speaker BAnd the girls with ADHD look good the first month of school.
Speaker BAnd so later on, when they start looking out the window, when they start losing the place in this class lesson, when they don't do the backside of the paper, or when they have messy handwriting, when they're interrupting to ask a neighbor, where are we?
Speaker BWhat should I be paying attention to?
Speaker BThe teacher isn't rethinking, oh, this child's having trouble.
Speaker BThis child is struggling.
Speaker BAnd so they're not picking up on the clues that are there.
Speaker BAnd there's someone in England that has a brilliant idea as he's thinking.
Speaker BInstead of asking teachers to find these children or they're having difficulty, they talk about the bell curve.
Speaker BAnd he's talking that if the teacher could Just bring to the psychological staff of the school the children that are on the low end of the bell curve, the ones that are the outliers for certain behaviors, the outliers for being tardy, for losing their possessions, for all the things we think of as the symbols, the symptoms of girls having adhd, if we just get alerted to watch for those things.
Speaker BAnd that's what we're trying to do in all of our messages, is make people aware of all the different ways it presents.
Speaker BIt's not always.
Speaker BAnd even if it is the combined type, if it's the hyperactive type, girls usually present differently because of those she messages.
Speaker BYou're not supposed to be rambunctious, you're not supposed to be running on the jungle gym and, you know, all this kind of messages.
Speaker AYeah, yeah, 100%.
Speaker AI've got three daughters, all of them have been diagnosed with ADHD.
Speaker AAnd, oh, it all presents very differently.
Speaker ALike, they are.
Speaker AThey're literally like models for me to be able to see how it can manifest.
Speaker ABut I just talk about ADHD so openly and so freely in the house to the girls, so they can never have any doubt in their mind to, you know, where their struggle comes from, what the meaning is.
Speaker ASo they understand about executive functioning, they understand what anxiety is.
Speaker AI don't want any shame or any stigma.
Speaker AI just want them to understand it so they can feel empowered to ask for help or support or just ask me for anything.
Speaker AIt's not perfect, for sure, because I think you're 100% right that the teachers are the gatekeepers, you know, from a very young age of these children.
Speaker AAnd if you've got parents who really don't know very much about adhd, like, at all, and there's many, many, you know, I forget I live in my little echo chamber on.
Speaker AAnd I think everyone should know all of this information, but they really don't.
Speaker AAnd so, oh, they just sort of pass it off as, oh, she's a bit of a worrier or she's a bit restless or she's a bit of a fidgeter.
Speaker AAnd then they pass it off and then they're not connected.
Speaker AConnecting all the dots of, yes, she's a fidgeter, but does she struggle with sleep and is she anxious and does she have problems, you know, with, like, friendship groups and is she very sensitive?
Speaker AAnd does she have problems with sensory, you know, overload or feeling overwhelmed?
Speaker AAnd then when we're able to create this sort of caseload of clues, like you say, and very often it's the teacher that can connect all those dots.
Speaker ASo I personally think that teaching programs should have a whole.
Speaker AI don't know how long it takes to train as a teacher, but there should be definitely a few weeks dedicated to spotting the signs of neurodivergence in children.
Speaker BI agree it's great for teachers to do that, but apparently in England teachers are more free to tell parents, I have a concern about your child.
Speaker BAnd in the US it's the opposite.
Speaker BTeachers are very concerned about liability, about saying anything, offending parents, saying things in the wrong way.
Speaker BAnd also school districts, it's more expensive for them if they have children who have been diagnosed because there's services they need to provide.
Speaker BAnd so school districts, sometimes it's against their interest to identify children.
Speaker BAnd so in the US we decided our model is to try to educate parents.
Speaker BWe're trying to educate teachers too, but we feel like that's where we have to make a difference in the US because the teachers, even if they learn, they're going to be reluctant to bring that knowledge to the parents.
Speaker AYeah, that's really interesting and it's hard to hear that, isn't it?
Speaker ABecause you know, it all comes down to finances.
Speaker AIt's not, maybe it's a slightly different situation here in the UK that yeah, I think there are some really progressive and forward thinking teachers especially maybe newly trained, but essentially it's the parent wanting to hear the information as well.
Speaker ASo I think you're right that we need to be, you know, there has to be awareness with parents, has to be teachers, the gatekeepers, you know, the doctors, the first line, people where they are seeing beneath the surface, especially for girls of what ADHD looks like and how those more nuanced signs, especially the masking, you know, the fact that the girls make it harder to diagnose because.
Speaker BOf the masking, you know, even in preschool they start picking up on social cues about how to fit in and what they need to be doing differently.
Speaker BAnd so a really alert child will start masking by age three.
Speaker BWe put that burden on ourselves right from the start.
Speaker AMy model of coaching and my model of supporting women with ADHD especially is trying to find the strengths, helping women thrive.
Speaker ASeeing this as, you know, yes, we've had difficulties, but seeing this as like a positive next chapter in your life.
Speaker AAnd I'm wondering when you are thinking about, you know, screening for a young age, do you think that we can then help more people to thrive and less people will struggle with their adhd?
Speaker BOf course, yeah.
Speaker BNo, I just think that's the whole thing of teaching parents to understand their child early and to know what to be aware of, learning how to parent them better, how to create structure in the home to help them, the routines.
Speaker BI just think that we all know if you find out earlier, you're going to do better.
Speaker BAnd the women I've talked to, I've talked to a couple of women who have really seemed to be so together about having their adhd and it surprises me and they say it's because they've been in therapy for years.
Speaker BAnd so there's a lot of damage done to people's self esteem that they, you know, it's a process that you work through for yourself and for me, some of that is just starting to do something that's successful.
Speaker BAnd as you do that successful thing, it gives you the confidence to undertake another successful thing.
Speaker BAnd you learn the things you can do that are successful and you learn to accept yourself for the things where that's just the way you are.
Speaker BLike, I can look at things I've attempted and think, oh, I've wasted a lot of time doing things that I didn't really follow through on.
Speaker BBut then I could say, no, that's my learning process.
Speaker BThat's how I get to the things that I do be successful with.
Speaker AI think that's a really powerful reframe for so many people because there are so many shameful thoughts in our heads when we start hobbies and projects, careers, learning, qualifications, all sorts of things, and then we get bored, we get derailed, we lose interest, the dopamine kind of tapers off and we're no longer interested.
Speaker AAnd before we understood our adhd, there would be this whole kind of story.
Speaker AYou know, I had it.
Speaker AI always had the same story of, you don't commit, you're flaky, why do you always give up?
Speaker AYou don't try hard enough, you're not qualified enough.
Speaker AThere was just, it was just constant, it was like this barrage and my self esteem was rock bottom and my poor husband, you know, he had to was there.
Speaker AHe was like constantly like picking me up.
Speaker ABut then as soon as I got my ADHD diagnosis and I worked through it with therapy and coaching and development and learning and then speaking to all amazing experts like yourself.
Speaker AThe narrative has changed so much now and I just see it exactly like you say.
Speaker AIt's like the way I process and some projects aren't meant to be finished and some projects I see to the end and I can congratulate myself for it.
Speaker BWhat I want to Say, too, when I interviewed these 25 women with combined type, I asked them about their ADD symptoms before their diagnosis and since their diagnosis.
Speaker BAnd for many of them, they hadn't improved that much, but they were much happier in life.
Speaker BAnd the reason was because they now understood themselves, they accepted themselves, and they said they were kinder to themselves.
Speaker BSo just that alone brought them more happiness.
Speaker BBecause it's like someone berating themselves because they can't see the blackboard.
Speaker BWhy would you berate yourself for something you can't do anything about?
Speaker BYou're doing the best you can.
Speaker BBut I want to tell the story about.
Speaker BFor me, I had to learn to stop the negative self talk.
Speaker BAnd I think that is the most important thing that people can learn to do because it doesn't help at all.
Speaker BAnd if you can just stop it before and then after that, introduce positive self talk.
Speaker BBut the first thing is to stop the negative.
Speaker BSo when we had the support group, this man that was helping me run the groups, he said, I work for the worst boss possible.
Speaker BHe's always criticizing me.
Speaker BAnd then he said, I'm self employed about putting a rubber band on his wrist and snapping it every time you catch yourself giving yourself a negative criticism.
Speaker BAnd after the first week, I said, well, how are you doing?
Speaker BHe said, I have a very sore wrist.
Speaker BBut if you keep doing that and you get rid of the negative self talk, and then you work on the positive self talk.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AI heard from a neuroscientist that it's impossible to get rid of a thought, a negative thought, unless you replace it.
Speaker ASo you can't just wipe it out and then just leave it kind of like empty.
Speaker ASo the best way is to say something like if you recognize a thought such as, I never finish things, or I'm not good enough, or I'm.
Speaker AOther people can do that, but I can't, then you find a reframe that feels right for the moment, that feels kind of like you're reaching for something more positive and maybe a bit more realistic.
Speaker BI can't do it yet.
Speaker BI can't do it yet, but I can do it someday kind of thing.
Speaker AExactly.
Speaker AThis sort of growth mindset, then it makes getting rid of that negative thought easier, because if we've had that thought for so many years to then just get rid of it, it's just impossible.
Speaker ASo it's kind of like gently moving out the door kind of thing.
Speaker ALike inch by inch moving it.
Speaker AAnd then all of a sudden we have a beautiful new armchair instead of the old, the old tatty armchair that we've had to sort of gently usher out the room.
Speaker BWhat I said is that it was the time of equal rights.
Speaker BAnd I said that at the end of the night when I was reviewing the day and it would be all negative.
Speaker BI didn't do this, I didn't do that.
Speaker BI first started to say for every negative I had to say something positive to balance it.
Speaker BAnd then I would just slowly get rid of the negative.
Speaker AYeah, and I think it's really easy for us, you know, women with adhd.
Speaker AWe are typically doing a lot, you know, I'm not going to overgeneralize, but we, there tends to be a group of us that might be over committing, over achieving, have lots of ideas, lots of energy and lots of things that they want to accomplish, but it's always at the expense of something else such as our energy, our health or sleep, maybe relationships, that type of thing.
Speaker AAnd so it's very easy for us to criticize that all we do or have a negative spin.
Speaker ABut you know, we're often doing lots more than most people, you know, trying to achieve lots money.
Speaker AI mean, I look at your biography and what you've achieved and what you continue to do is exceptional.
Speaker ABut we have to give ourselves that, that compassion of actually it's okay to take a break, it's okay to pause, it's okay to rest, it's okay to do nothing because we've got this, all this restless energy.
Speaker AWe just think that we have to put it to, to use all the time.
Speaker AAnd then when we don't do something with it, we think we're being lazy or we think that we're kind of wasting our time.
Speaker AI mean, maybe I'm just speaking for myself.
Speaker BYeah, some of that I don't relate to when I'm inattentive type.
Speaker BYou know, I think the, the hyper, the high energy people are probably harder on themselves maybe.
Speaker AYeah, I agree with you.
Speaker ABecause then there's the other, the other type where you know, just getting up in the morning is difficult.
Speaker AYou know, getting dressed, having showers, all of that.
Speaker AYou know, I see it, I see it all.
Speaker AAnd that's the thing with ADHD is that there's never a one size fits all.
Speaker AWhich I guess coming back to your screening, the screening tool has to be so nuanced really, doesn't it?
Speaker ATo make sure that we're not missing.
Speaker AI'm going to talk about girls, but we're not missing the girls that are.
Speaker BOn our website we have a free checklist that find the ADHD girls.
Speaker BAnd it was, it's based on the DSM and the Diva 5, but then it's modified and two physicians and three psychologists looked at it.
Speaker BAnd the thing with the, the, the symptoms is that, well, Dr.
Speaker BFerron was worried that we'd get false positives.
Speaker BAnd I said that if a family gets a lot of these check marks, if they check a lot of these behaviors, they should go see a doctor anyway.
Speaker BDo you know what I mean?
Speaker BEven if it's not adhd, there's something to be concerned about with this girl.
Speaker BIf she's losing a lot of her things, if she's not having good relationships, if she's emotionally going off the handle.
Speaker BSo the things in our checklists are describing a 7 year old girl that likely has ADHD.
Speaker BBut even if not ADHD, there's a reason to be concerned about this girl.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAnd you say that all families should be screened.
Speaker AIf one child or one person's got adhd, the whole family should be screened.
Speaker BYes, yes.
Speaker BBecause, well, it's a family is a system and you know, if you're a parent with ADHD and you don't know about your adhd, and as you said, it was a, a challenge for you because when you learned about it, you already were a parent and so you had to be dealing with your children as you're trying to learn about your own adhd.
Speaker BSo there was this woman at a conference, I thought this was brilliant.
Speaker BShe said that women should be screened for ADHD when they're delivering their baby because they will have those months, those years maybe of getting to deal with their own ADHD before they take on having to deal with a child who might have adhd.
Speaker BAnd it seems like such a simple place to do that because the, I think it's.
Speaker BThe World Health Organization has a five question screener that's supposed to be very accurate, very valid.
Speaker BAnd so if we could get hospitals to do the screenings with the women because they do postpartum depression screenings and just add on this screening and if those women left that hospital knowing they had adhd, we'd be getting back to that thing I said we should get diagnosed at birth.
Speaker AYeah, I mean, I'm not 100% sure if while you're delivering the baby is the best time, but I would say that if there's been a, a pattern from puberty, you know, as we know, hormones are so intrinsically linked with girls that there's been patterns of, you know, PMDD and like you say, postnatal depression and we need to be getting there before because we don't want women to be getting postnatal depression.
Speaker AWe don't want girls to be having PMDD and women to be having pmdd.
Speaker AWe need, like you say, if we have that screening and that awareness, we can help ourselves.
Speaker AI have lots of structures in place now, wellbeing and holistic structures.
Speaker AI know obviously we've not even touched on medication, but if we're able to support ourselves knowing that we have a cycle every month and then we go and have perimenopause and menopause as well and we're able to find ways that work for us and it might be very different for each person, but it all comes down to awareness and understanding.
Speaker AAnd like you say that you have this self acceptance and you have the self compassion and the ADHD symptoms may still be there or the traits may be there, but the way we look at them is different and the way we react to them and respond to them is so different.
Speaker AAnd I have so much more compassion for myself, but I actually have more compassion for my mum because she didn't know she had ADHD and I didn't know she had it.
Speaker AAnd as parents we have to regulate, to regulate ourselves.
Speaker ASo we have regulated children and if we don't have a regulated parent, like you say, the whole family is just goes into sort of chaos.
Speaker ASo it's vital.
Speaker AI think screening is vital because the impact of it is so widespread and it can be so damaging, I think, you know, across the board.
Speaker BWell, and, and when tied in the screening, when people are worried about screening and getting false positives, it's like they say, even people that say worry that ADHD is over diagnosed, there's a greater concern of what happens if you aren't diagnosed.
Speaker BI mean, we're learning now that we die on average 10 to 12 years earlier and a lot of that is because of accidents or suicides.
Speaker BAnd so that's a huge concern.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BAnd I think when we say, at least in the US that we have 11% of children have ADHD and yet for the adults we only have 3 or 4%, it's because we haven't recognized those adults.
Speaker BYeah, it's not that we stop having adhd, we don't grow out of it, it's just that we haven't found the adult population like we have found the child population.
Speaker AYeah, I think what, what you're saying is when we think about it, the disparity between the 3% and the 11%, I mean, as you're Speaking, I'm sort of thinking ahead and wondering, you know, if in 20 years time we're going to look at this conversation and just think, how could we have been there?
Speaker ABut I also wonder, are we going to be calling it adhd?
Speaker AAre we going to just be seeing this as just a very different type of wiring that we've considered to be the neurotypical or the normal type of wiring and then we're going to be able to understand things much better, you know, from an addiction perspective.
Speaker AEating disorders, depression, anxiety, like it's not.
Speaker AI know that there's a school of thought and I do think our brains are being rewired differently because of technology and because of screen time and social media and our distractions and our concentration levels of, you know, everything that goes on with, with regards to all the tech.
Speaker ABut I know that ADHD has been there and it's been very prevalent way before tech and, and social media because we've seen it in our families.
Speaker AYou know, every single person that's been diagnosed with ADHD can look back through their family tree and see how it played out in different ways.
Speaker AYou know, whether it was, you know, the, in prison, addiction, bankruptcy, suicide, eating disorders.
Speaker BIt's not, it's not new.
Speaker BBut what Dr.
Speaker BFerrone says too, is that the reason we think there's more of it getting diagnosed is because maybe people that had four symptoms are now, you know, a little bit more noticeable.
Speaker BIf you used to have six symptoms to get diagnosed, maybe now with four symptoms you're more noticed.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAnd I hope with all this awareness, doctors becoming more understanding and we're reading more and people are able to ask for help.
Speaker AAnd I mean I've just seen in the past five years just working in this space.
Speaker AYes, there's still all forms of naysayers and people that are saying, oh, it's over, over prescribed and the medications dreadful and this and that.
Speaker ABut I truly believe exactly what you say that more screening we have, the more assessments and the more understanding, the better outcome people's lives are going to be.
Speaker AAnd that's essentially what it's there for.
Speaker AWe don't, we're not there to put every, every person on prescription medication.
Speaker ALike that's not the reason for this.
Speaker AThe reason for this is that we want people to live better lives and to have better opportunities.
Speaker ANot for every single child to go on prescription medication, but if they need it and that's going to help them, then great.
Speaker ABut if they don't need it and they can make changes through lifestyle change and tweaks and changing jobs and living in a different area or, you know, changing their diet, then that's brilliant as well.
Speaker AThere has to just be a more open minded, holistic look at the situation as well, I think.
Speaker ABut I wondered if you we might be able to provide that checklist that you just told us about and we can keep putting it in the show notes for people to download.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker BWe're making handouts every single month and everything.
Speaker BWe're going to have a repository on our website and all the materials we create create will be in the public domain.
Speaker BSo anyone that wanted to come and get our carousels, get our graphics, get our handouts, they can get it and distribute it themselves.
Speaker ABrilliant.
Speaker AOkay, well if you can provide those links, I will make sure that I share them with my audience as well.
Speaker ABut I just want to say thank you so much, Cynthia for being here.
Speaker AI really appreciate your time, especially at the early hours of your morning.
Speaker ABut yeah, it's been amazing talking to you.
Speaker BGood.
Speaker BEnjoyed the conversation.
Speaker AIf today's episode has been helpful for you and you're looking for even further support, my brand new book, the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit, is now available to order from anywhere you get your books from.
Speaker AI really hope this book is going to be the ultimate resource for anyone who loves this podcast and wants a deeper dive into all these kinds of kinds of conversations.
Speaker AIf you head to my website, adhdwomenswellbeing.co UK, you'll find all the information on the book there, which is going to be out on the 17th of July.
Speaker AThank you so much.