Hi, friends, and welcome back to the podcast.

This is your host, Kristen, and today I'm going to ask you a question that might just impact the way you walk into your day and the way you approach your life.

So here we go.

Let's jump in.

Here's what I want to ask you.

What is holding you back?

What is the thing that's holding you.

Back from going after your dreams and from finding meaningful work you love?

Aren't you ready to wake up to the possibilities that are in your life and go after the things you've dreamt of?

It's time for you to feel alive again, lit up, and for you to.

Know that you're deserving and you are worthy for the future that's waiting for you.

I want you to feel fulfilled and find abundance in your life.

I think it's time and I'm ready to help you get started now.

I'm your host, Kristen, of building a life you love.

And each week on the show, we're going to help you figure out how you do go after your dreams and.

Find work you love.

Here we go.

Let's get started.

Okay, so what am I talking about today?

What is that one thing that might just change how you step into your day?

It is this question, what is your willingness number?

What is the amount of willingness you have in your life to change, to do something different?

And so I want to share this quote with you to start with.

It's by Peter McWilliams, and it says the willingness to do creates the ability to do.

And the other one that I thought was really good says this.

There is only one thing required to change your life, its willingness.

And the reason that I wanted to do this episode is I had a great podcast interview with a.

Let's see, a guest that talked about how we heal from betrayal, but really it's how do we heal from lies we tell ourselves, limiting beliefs or betrayal?

And her name is Dr. Debbie Silber.

And the reason it was so interesting is we talked about how you heal from a betrayal, and there's five steps for that.

But also, how can betrayers change the people that betrayed us in our lives if they're willing?

But it all came down to that.

The people that had a change, that transformed in this unhealed trauma or living, they all had to have a willingness to change.

And as I started pondering on this, I thought, wow, I mean, that's true with every aspect of our life.

And so we're going to dig in today about the idea of willingness.

And if you're thinking, well, what do you mean willing?

I mean of course I'm willing.

So willingness is defined as readiness.

It's defined as consent or readiness to do something.

It also and then the willing, the word willing is to be disposed or inclined.

It's prepared, it's acting or ready to act gladly, being compliant, accepted voluntarily.

So those are the type of qualities we're talking about around the word willingness.

Another word that came to me or came to mind for me was open mindedness.

Right when we're talking about our thoughts less so our actions.

And so I think what is it holds us back from being willing or ready to do something different in our lives to make a change?

It's often fear or a deep seated belief that isn't true.

You know, like I'm not good enough or no one's really going to love me that way or I can't change something about us.

Right.

Our weight or that I'm anxious.

And so once again, these are either it's either rooted in fear or it's rooted in an untrue thing that we've continued to repeat to ourselves, either consciously or subconsciously.

So today we're going to talk about some areas of our life that we can ask ourselves these questions and then really reflect on.

Are we willing to change?

Are we willing to improve?

And so today you're going to want a piece of paper and a pen and then I'm going to give you a couple questions and write the questions down and then you can use these as journal prompts or you can just write them down and then, you know, think about them.

But when I say journal prompts, basically write the questions down and then you're going to use that as an opportunity to answer these questions for yourself.

And I would say do it on a regular basis, maybe monthly or quarterly, the ones that kind of speak to you and say, you know what, yeah, maybe I am not as willing as I thought with this question to change, to be open minded or to be intentional with being ready to do something different.

I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know though, if you haven't already gone to my website, KristenFitch.com there are so many free workbooks that you can go and download.

I have one that's perfect for many of you.

It's called rewire your mind.

But it's five steps to how you can quickly shift negative thoughts into thoughts.

That will serve you.

So you can go grab that@kristenfitch.com or.

I have a create a life.

You Love it is basically a ton of worksheets that you can fill out that can help you look at what it is you want in your life, what is keeping you stuck, and where is it that you want to make changes so that you can live intentionally and step into the future that you really want.

So head over to KristenFitch.com now, grab one of my free workbooks that you can do at your own pace, and it'll also add you to my community through my email newsletter where I uplift you, inspire you, and give you tools and resources to help you live your best life.

Okay, so the other thing is, I was talking about Dr. Debbie Silber, and one of the things that also came up was healing is a choice.

So we have to choose to do the work to heal ourselves in some area.

Right?

Right.

So if something's continuing to be an issue for us.

Right.

Almost like an open sore, but it might be an emotional open source.

It might be where we're stuck or stagnant, you know, but we have to realize that healing's a choice.

So we have to choose to learn and then to do something different.

So we have to be ready and we have to be open or inclined to do something different.

Okay, so here is the first question, and you can write this down.

Do I have a willingness to change?

So do you have a willingness to change something you're holding onto or some change something in your life that's holding you back from who you want to be, where you want to go, or what God's calling you into?

So do I have a willingness to change?

Okay, later you're going to reflect on, is there an area in your life that you really haven't been willing to do that?

The next question is, am I willing to improve or do I have a willingness to improve?

So write that down.

But do I have a willingness to improve an area of my life?

And then you're going to think about what area does it needs improving.

Is it your health?

Is it your relationship?

Is it your spiritual practices?

Is it a habit, an unhealthy habit?

So maybe for your health, you, you know, one thing that I've been working on is improving some of my health numbers.

You know, so a little bit of that's weight, you know, so trying to get healthier.

I've been adding in a lot more walking every day for the last couple months, and I. I've ebbed and flood with that.

But the point is, I'm trying to improve my health.

I'm trying to add certain foods and that'll help.

My blood pressure can be variable.

So I am working on trying to get to the bottom of that through multiple changes, working with a special functional medicine practitioner, also through diet changes and all of those things.

So that's one area that I'm willing to improve my health for.

You, it could be your relationship.

You know, I'm definitely always looking out for how might I improve my relationship with my high school and college age sons.

Right.

So, and I'm not saying I always do the best there, but I'm trying.

I'm willing to improve, I'm willing to do something different.

Okay, that's the next one.

The third one is willingness to be open.

Am I willing to be open?

So this is really a two parter.

One is willing to be open to new things, new experiences, new opportunities, new places, new, new people.

So it's an openness and it's kind of, you know, you could say this, like, am I willing to get out of my comfort zone?

And then I also refer to this as the adventure formula, meaning that routine is good and our daily practices are good.

Right?

Like if you pray, meditate, you exercise or walk every day.

Those are good routines.

We want some routine in our life and we need it for structure.

But if it's only that, and we never have something that gets us out of our comfort zone or lets us see, wonder or be curious in our lives, we can start to feel like life is very mundane, it's very gray instead of, you know, every color, you know that that's there.

So that's why I call it the immature formula.

Because we need adventure.

And when I say adventure, I mean we need something that excites us or makes us shift in our thinking or pushes us out of our comfort zone.

And another idea that I've recently heard that's very similar to this is called the scramble therapy.

And it.

Or theory.

I'm sorry, Scramble theory.

And it's basically that each month, but I would really say each week we should do something that we never thought or dreamed we would do.

So it might be going to a, they mentioned going to a lecture or, or a type of concert that you'd never have gone to before that's not in your wheelhouse.

It might be trying a new physical sport or activity, taking dance lessons if you've never done that.

So whatever you want to call it, just, you know, getting out of your comfort zone or an event, adding adventure, or the scramble theory, it's a willingness to be open to something new.

It's the do something different in your life.

Are you willing and are you ready to put yourself out there?

A lot of us get stuck in the fear of, well, I just don't know how I'll feel uncomfortable.

So we let it hold us back.

So that's the next question.

And part of this question is, do I have a willingness to be open minded?

Do you have a willingness to be open minded to other people's perspectives?

When people tell you something that you don't agree with or align with, whether it's about politics, health, faith, anything, do you get angry?

Are you immediately defensive?

Or can you listen to them and hold it and see some and just understand where they're coming from?

I'm not saying you have to change your mind, but we need to be respectful, we need to be kind in our responses or we need to know when to shut our mouths.

But we, we should not be showing up and being angry and resentful and mad at those people.

And so we need to ask ourselves, do we have a willingness to be open minded to others and to others perspectives?

So that is a question you need to ask yourself.

Because if you're holding onto anger, resentment, sadness, betrayal, like anything, it actually, the data shows that all of that stuff, when we hold onto things hurt, when we hold on to any hurt for a long period of time, it actually harms our physical health.

And in that interview I did, she's going to share a lot of numbers about that and then about how many people are dealing with health issues that have been betrayed and then held onto it for a lot of like many, many years or decades.

And she explains that a lot of those people also have a lot of gut issues.

So we need to get honest with ourselves about these things, about are we willing to change?

Are we willing to improve?

Are we willing to be open and to be open minded?

Okay, and then the next question I have for you is, let's see, what am I willing to change today or do different?

So it's similar to the other ones, but it's now going to get you in the perspective of not just reflecting or wondering or thinking about these questions, but today, can I make a change?

One small change?

Is it like just pick one of those questions where you're willing to do something different today.

And then the next question is, where or what am I willing to stay the same?

In other words, is there an area that you realize maybe you don't have a willingness, an openness or a readiness to do something different?

You know, that you're stuck or that Maybe there's something under the surface that's festering, but you're not ready to do something about it.

Write it down.

Because while you're not ready today, just being aware of it may allow you in the future to make a change.

Okay, and then the last question is, am I willing to take action?

Which is much like what I just asked you, but the other one is more specific to today.

So in general, am I willing to take action?

And then you can ask that question under each of those other questions.

Am I willing to change?

Am I willing to improve?

Am I willing to be open?

And ask yourself for each of those, where might you take action?

And actually go from thinking about this and being ready to doing, okay, so then you want to ask that question and fill that out.

And so here's what I know.

Mindset has so much to do with all the parts of our lives.

And being open, being willing and being ready is so much.

It's so tied to our mindset, right?

Do you have a growth mindset?

Do you have a mindset that you are ready to change and you're not going to stay where you are because you know that growth and learning and healing is important?

And there was a podcast that I listened to.

I think I shared it in my email newsletter.

But Dr. Mark Hyman, one of his podcasts is called the Doctor's Pharmacy, and he had a guest on.

And now I'm not going to remember his name.

I'll see if I can find it.

But he talked about how our thoughts and our emotions actually turn on and off our genes.

Okay, like in our body.

So in other words, people that are very negative and feel like a victim, right?

It's like them against the world and everybody's out to kind of hurt them or people have hurt them in their lives.

Woe is me, those people, when we stay in that state, not temporarily, because we all have that.

Those experiences when we stay in that state of kind of a victim mindset, very negative thinking very well, just in that direction, it turns on some of our gene expression that actually causes more disease and cancer and things.

And so, no, I'm not saying if you have a disease or cancer, that it.

That it was this reason.

What I'm telling you is they've shown that if we change our thoughts, which changes our emotions, it changes the chemical makeup of our.

Our genes, of our body, it tells cells if they should open or close in our bodies.

So I'm just saying it's fascinating.

But once again, if we learn about these things it's even more important that we start doing the work to figure out what are the self sabotaging things or thoughts we have.

What are the limiting beliefs that aren't really true.

What are the, how are we thinking and seeing the world, right?

What's our worldview?

You know, in other words, how do we, what's the lens in which we think about everything in the world, Other people, the state of affairs, you know, how we interact with the world.

It's all of these things.

But it may be time to think about these things.

If you know any.

I would think most of us have an area where maybe we haven't been willing to do the work or change.

And I get it because there's times where, you know, let's say in my health, I'm like, well, this is comfortable.

Like I don't want to change this certain thing, I love this certain food, or I don't want to stop having, let's say, coffee, which I have cut out coffee before and now I'm drinking decaf.

But the point is there's still mornings where I'm like, nope, I like that cup of coffee.

So until I get, I'm going to try the mushroom coffee or whatever, but I haven't ordered it yet, so I get it.

Sometimes it's hard to change.

We like what we're comfortable with.

So another question for you might be where am I comfortable?

And I'm not willing to step through discomfort to change because I get it.

And it's easy to stay where we're comfortable.

And often people stay where they're comfortable even when it's not healthy for them.

As I was talking about that interview, one of the things she says is that people stay stuck in what she calls three, a stage three.

But it's basically where we, we get comfortable and then we don't move forward, we don't change, we don't improve ourselves, we don't fully heal because we either avoid things in our life, we distract ourselves, we numb ourselves, we don't set new boundaries or new rules or prioritize our well being.

And so that's what I'm talking about.

If we get comfortable with our hurt or our unwillingness to change or grow or improve, it's going to hold us back.

We'll never step into the best version of ourselves.

And I don't mean that from a personal self development sense where, oh, it's all about us.

I don't even think, for those of you that are listening, I don't even think that it's about us.

I think if we're going to show up and be our best selves to serve others right, our family, do the best work we're able to do to show up and be person God intends us to be, I don't think we can do that when we're shortsighted, when we're unwilling to take action, when we're unwilling to be ready, when we're not willing to improve ourselves.

Because I would even take it a step further and say, also, it's a willingness to surrender and to know what's hardened in our heart, what has taken hold of us that we don't want to admit or we don't want to, or we haven't realized yet, you know, and we think it's fine, it's fine.

This behavior is fine, or this.

This way of me seeing things, or me holding on to this bitter bitterness or this resentment, it's fine because I don't want to let go of it.

Well, the honest truth is, is it's harming you.

So it's not just that you're comfortable with it.

It's actually holding you back from your best life possible.

And I think that best life is the life that God has for you.

But he's waiting for us to change and be ready and open, prepared and ready to take action and actually take a step.

So I think this is much bigger than just, are we willing?

I think a willingness of readiness.

It is what sets us up for future opportunities, the plan that God has for us.

And so all of this comes down to we have to be intentional in the way we're living, and we have to regularly audit our lives.

And so these questions is just one area that we can be intentional and think about how we're showing up both, you know, mentally and then actually taking action in our lives.

But then it actually goes beyond this, right?

If we regularly audit our lives, which I talk about this in other episodes and I'll talk about it again, it's also auditing our schedule, the things we're seeing, reading, you know, in other words, are we filling ourselves up with things that allow for us to grow, to learn, to refresh ourselves, right.

Our minds.

Are we getting time in the word?

And then are we also having time to renew and rest?

And so that means our schedules can't be so overwhelmed every day that it's exhausting, you know, so that's for another day that we'll talk about auditing schedules and decluttering our space, our pace, and our digital lives.

That's for a future episode coming up.

But for today, what's your willingness number?

And while I don't have a worksheet that it has, you know, gives you a calculation.

But if you write down all these questions and you see, am I willing or not willing to take action?

You know, give yourself a, you know, a one or a two.

If you're willing to take action and you actually, you know, willing to change and you're able to do something about it, or you will, then give yourself a one or two.

If you're not willing right now to do that, then give yourself a zero, right?

So the point is, see where you're opened to these things, to improving, to change and being open to doing something different, and see where you're not.

And guess what?

If today you're not ready to make a change, that's okay.

Just doing this activity is going to help you be aware, which as you walk into your day, as you walk into your life, that awareness over time may allow you to start shifting slowly to become more ready, to become more open, to become more intentional and more willing to make changes that will change your life for the good.

So that's it for today.

I just wanted to come on and share this idea with you because as I started thinking about it, I thought, oh my gosh, willingness is it.

Willingness is one of the ingredients that's needed for us to thrive, right?

It's one of the ingredients we need to thrive in our lives.

And for those of you that would enjoy just a little scripture to kind of reinforce this idea, I wanted to share that with you.

Now.

Okay, so the scripture that I wanted to share with you is, let's see, Corinthians, I'm sorry, 2 Corinthians 8:12.

And it says, or if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have.

Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality.

But you know, even the Bible, and there's quite a bit of verses that talk about our willingness to do something right and to give and our willingness to show up and, you know, the willingness of our heart.

And so I think it's just important to remember that we're called to, to have an open, a willing heart and then actually take action, to actually do something about it and to, you know, share what we have and this sort of thing.

And I would say it's also a willingness to show up and follow the plan God has for us, just to follow the path to listen to what he's saying to us and how he wants us to show up.

And so, once again, it's a willingness to do what he's calling us to do.

So I hope this episode helped you reflect and think about some new things or in a new way.

And I hope this exercise or these journal prompts help you just take this idea a step further in your own life.

And I'll leave you with this quote as we end today.

It's by Brene Brown and she says the willingness to show up changes us.

It makes us a little braver each time, and I love that.

I think that's a beautiful way to wrap up today's episode.

So until next time, have a great.

Week and thanks again for listening in.

And if you enjoyed the show, we'd love it if you'd subscribe and leave us a review and rating on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

And you can check out freebies and resources we have for you@kristenfitch.com and if you have ideas for the show or guests that you'd like to recommend, I'd love to hear from you.

So DM me on Instagram at kristenfitch or you can email me from the the website.

Thanks so much.

Until next time, have a great week.